After getting back home from her trip from Seattle, Bella went upstairs and got dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants since she was staying indoors. It didn't take too much effort to concentrate on a paper on Macbeth that was due Wednesday. She settled into outlining a rough draft contentedly, more serene than she'sfelt since... well, since Thursday afternoon, if she was being honest.

That had always been Bella's way, though. Making decisions was the painful part for her, the part she agonized over. But once the decision was made, she simply followed through, usually with relief that the choice was made. Sometimes the relief was tainted by despair, like her decision to come to Forks. But it was still better than wrestling with the alternatives.

This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy.

And so the rest of the evening was quiet, productive Bella finished her paper before ten. Charlie came home with a large catch, and she made a mental note to pick up a book of recipes for fish whenever she got the opportunity. The chills that flashed up Bella's spine thinking about Edward's true nature were no different than the ones she'd felt before she taken her walk with Jacob Black. They should be different, she thought. She should be afraid she knew she should be, but Bella couldn't feel the right kind of fear.

After dinner Bella went to her room again dug through her desk until she found her wired earbuds, and plugged it into her phone. She had turned on her playlist on Spotify which started with one of Phil's favorite bands he recomenned, but they used a little too much bass and shrieking for her tastes. She popped it into place and laid down on her bed. She switched to a different song, hit Play, and relaxed to the music until she fell asleep.

Bella slept dreamlessly that night, exhausted from beginning yesterday so early, and sleeping so poorly the night before. She woke up, for the second time since arriving in Forks, to the bright yellow light of a sunny day. She skipped to the window, stunned to see that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and those there were just fleecy little white puffs that couldn't possibly be carrying any rain. Bella opened the window surprised when it opened silently, without sticking, not having opened it in who knows how many years and sucked in the relatively dry air. It was nearly warm and hardly windy at all. Her blood was electric in her veins.

Charlie was finishing breakfast when Bella came downstairs, and he picked up on her mood immediately.

"Nice day out," he commented.

"Yes," Bella agreed.

"How was Seattle?"

"It was good. Got a lot of shopping in. I saw Jacob there, too."

He raised a brow. "Oh, really? How is Jacob doing? Feel like a haven't seen him in a little while."

"He's doing good. He was just hanging out with some friends."

"That's good to hear. You know, Bella, maybe you and I could do something together sometime. I know you probably don't wanna spend a whole day with your boring old dad, but I think it would be good for the both of us."

Bella chuckled. "It's okay, Dad, and I would really like that," she said with a smile.

He smiled back, his brown eyes crinkling around the edges. When Charlie smiled, it was easier to see why he and Renee had jumped too quickly into an early marriage. Most of the young romantic he'd been in those days had faded before Bella known him, as the curly brown hair with the same color, if not the same texture, had dwindled, slowly revealing more and more of the shiny skin of his forehead. But when he smiled she could see a little of the man who had run away with Renée when she was just two years older than Bella was now.

Bella ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. Charlie called out a goodbye, and she heard the cruiser pull away from the house. She hesitated on her way out the door, hand on her rain jacket. It would be tempting fate to leave it home. With a sigh, she folded it over her arm and stepped out into the brightest light she'd seen in months.

By dint of much elbow grease, Bella was able to get both windows in the truck almost completely rolled down. She was one of the first ones to school; she hadn't even checked the clock in her hurry to get outside. Bella parked and headed toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so shes at on her jacket, glad to have a use for it. Her homework was done, the product of a slow social life but there were a few Trig problems she wasn't sure she had right. She took out her book industriously, but halfway through rechecking the first problem she was daydreaming, watching the sunlight play on the red-barked trees. Bella sketched inattentively along the margins of her homework. After a few minutes, she suddenly realized she's drawn five pairs of dark eyes staring out of the page at her. She scrubbed them out with the eraser.

"Bella!" someone called, and she turned to see it was Jessica.

Bella looked around and realized that the school had become populated while she'd been sitting there, absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts though the temperature couldn't be over sixty. Jessica was coming toward her in cream jeans and a white shirt with skinny straps, waving.

"Hey, Jess," Bella called, waving back.

She came to sit by Bella, with her grin stretching across her face. Jessica looked so delighted to see her, Bella couldn't help but feel gratified.

"You're in an awfully good mood today. Was the dance that great?" Bella asked.

Jessica was grinning to ear to ear. "It was more than just great. Guess what I did last night?" Jessica asked in a sing song voice.

Bella stared with a puzzled look, trying to understand what could have possibility happened to have her friend in such high spirits. Jessica rolled her eyes while letting out huff, completely surprised Bella couldn't understand the oblivious.

"Bella, really?" Jessica said with disappointment.

Bella shrugged her shoulder giving up. Jessica sighed and leaned in closer and made sure not to speak so loudly..

"Me and Mike had sex last night," she said in a low voice. Bella's eyed widened shock with her hand immediately coming up to cover her mouth stopping a loud gasp from coming out. The topic of sex had been discussed occasionally among Bella, Jessica, Angela. Jessica was more to it since she was the only one of the three in a relationship, but wasn't sure when the right time was. Thankfully, she never pressured by Mike to rushed into again otherwise Bella and Angela would have beat him up themselves.

It was hard enough to form even a basic form of romance, and talking about sex made Bella feel worse. She knew she shouldn't feel any embarrassment by any of it since the pressures of society on people (especially young girls) to do certain things by a certain like if you had your first kiss at the age twenty then your weird for not having it by fifteen or sixteen, but she couldn't help. The only thing that gave her comfort was knowing Angela was in the same position as her.

As far as relationship goes, the closet one Bella even had to a boy was Edward and she was still trying make since of it. They were friends for sure, but could they be something more? She had hoped for it more than anything.

Removing her hand from her mouth, Bella said, "Are you serious?" Her tone was matching Jessica's to make her one would overhear.

"Yes, I'm serious," Jessica replied excitedly. "It was fucking amazing."

"Start from the beginning, tell me everything."

Jessica started her story raving about the fancy Hummer limo that some boy in her English class dad had rented out for all their friends to ride to the dance in, and how great the school's gymnasium looked where the dance was held. After them and a couple of friends went out to eat down in Port Angeles, Jessica and Mike both stayed at a hotel, but much to his surprise, Jessica had already booked a room for them where she had decorated the room into a romantic setting.

Jessica reveled she already decided for a while when she was ready to take the next step in her and Mike's relationship after they both said I love you to each other for the first time. She said it was a bit uncomfortable at first, but they got used to their own rhythm and overall she enjoyed her first time with Mike.

"Okay, wait. You used a protection, right?" Bella asked concerned.

"No, we just wild and crazy. Of course we used protection I'm not stupid." She sounded offended Bella would even ask her such a thing.

Bella immediately felt guilty. "Right, I'm sorry, Jess. I'm mean...just wow. I can't believe you actually lost your virginity. And how you took charge of how it all happened."

"Well, Mike has always been such a sweet guy and had no problem waiting until I was ready." Jessica let out a blissful sigh, completely radiating nothing but joy.

Bella just smiled and gave Jessica hug while kissing her on her temple. "I'm happy for you, Jessica. My little girls a woman now." Bella said jokingly which made both of them laugh.

"Wait, did you tell Angela?" Bella asked as removed her arms from the other girl.

The smile from Jessica's face suddenly dropped, and started to look guilty as if she had done something.

"Yeah, Bella about Angela.." Before she could finish the school bell had rung announcing it was now time for class

"Shit, keep that thought. It's time for class and I can not be late again." Bella gathered her books up and stuffed them in her bag.

Both girls walked in silence to their first class going their separate ways, and Jessica's expression was distracted. Bella hoped whatever thoughts she was immersed in were leading her in the right direction.

When she saw Jessica in Trig, she was bubbling with enthusiasm again as she did earlier. Jessica decided on going to Port Angeles again tonight to go shopping and hang out, and she wanted Bella to come, too. The idea was appealing since Bella had never been to Port Angeles but when asked if Angela was coming she again got weird and guilty looking as if something was going on, but confirmed she Angela was coming.

Bella told her she'd have to talk with Charlie first.

Jessica talked of nothing but Port Angeles on the way to Spanish, continuing as if without an interruption when class finally ended, five minutes late, and they were on our way to lunch. Bella was far too lost in her own frenzy of anticipation to notice much of what she said. While Edward already said he wouldn't be in school, she was painfully eager to see not just him but all the Cullens to compare them with the new suspicions that plagued her mind. As Bella crossed the threshold of the cafeteria, she felt the first true tingle of fear slither down her spine and settle in her stomach. Would they be able to know what she was thinking if they were here? And then a different feeling jolted through her would Edward be waiting to sit with her again?

As was her routine, Bella glanced first toward the Cullens' table. With dwindling hope, her eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him he'd changed his mind and come, waiting for her. The place was nearly filled because Spanish had made them late, but there was no sign of Edward or any of his family. Desolation hit her with crippling strength.

Bella shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore.

They were late enough that everyone was already at their table. Bella sat in an empty chair between by Angela and other girl. She vaguely noticed they Jessica and Angela really didn't speak much to each other, but she tried not to think anything of it.

Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which Bella answered as naturally as she could while spiraling downward in misery. She, too, asked Bella if she was going to Port Angeles, which Bella confirmed happy she had something to do to distract herself.

Bella realized she'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when she entered Biology, saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment.

The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally. In Gym, they had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for her. But at least it meant she got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. The best part was the coach didn't finish, so she got another day off tomorrow. Never mind that the day after they would arm her with a racket before unleashing her on the rest of the class.

Bella was glad to leave campus, so she would't be free to pout and mope before she went out tonight with Jessica and Angela. But right after she walked in the door of Charlie's house, Jessica called to cancel their plans. Apparently Mike had something planned for them which Bella tried to sound excited for but herenthusiasm sounded false in her own ears. Jessica rescheduled the shopping trip for tomorrow night.

It left her with little in the way of distractions. Bella had fish marinating for dinner, with a salad and bread left over from the night before, so there was nothing to do there. She spent a focused half hour on homework, but then she was through with that, too. She checked her e-mail, reading the backlog of letters from hermother, getting snippier as they progressed to the present. She sighed and typed a quick response.

Mom,

Sorry. I've been busy with friends and stuff. And I had to write a paper.

Her excuses were fairly pathetic, so she gave up on that.

It's sunny outside today I know, I'm shocked, too so I'm going to go outside and soak up.

as much vitamin D as I can. I love you,

Bella.

Bella decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. She had a small collection of books that came with her to Forks, the shabbiest volume being a compilation of the works of Octavia Butler and Jane Austin. She selected those and headed to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down.

Outside in Charlie's small, square yard, She folded the quilt in half and laid it out of the reach of the trees' shadows on the thick lawn that would always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. Bella laid on her stomach, crossing her ankles in the air, flipping through the different novels in the book, trying to decide which would occupy her mind the most thoroughly. Her favorites were Kindred and Sense and Sensibility. She'd read the first most recently, so she started into Sense and Sensibility, only to remember after she began three that the hero of the story happened to be named Edward. Angrily, she turned to Mansfield Park, but the hero of that piece was named Edmund, and that was just too close.

Weren't there any other names available in the late eighteenth century? Bella snapped the book shut, annoyed, and rolled over onto her back. She pushed her sleeves up as high as they would go, and closed her eyes. She would think of nothing but the warmth on her skin, She told myself severely. The breeze was still light, but it blew tendrils of her hair around her face, and that tickled a bit. She pulled all her hair over my head, letting it fan out on the quilt above her, and focused again on the heat that touched her eyelids, her cheekbones, her nose, her lips, her forearms, her neck, soaked through her light shirt…

The next thing Bella was conscious of was the sound of Charlie's cruiser turning onto the bricks of the driveway. She sat up in surprise, realizing the light was gone, behind the trees, and she had fallen asleep. She looked around, muddled, with the sudden feeling that she wasn't alone.

"Charlie?" she asked. But she could hear his door slamming in front of the house.

Bella jumped up, foolishly edgy, gathering the now-damp quilt and her books. She ran inside to get some oil heating on the stove, realizing that dinner would be late. Charlie was hanging up his gun belt and stepping out of his boots when she came in.

"Sorry, Dad, dinner's not ready yet. I fell asleep outside." She stifled a yawn.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I wanted to catch the score on the game, anyway."

Bella watched TV with Charlie after dinner, for something to do. There wasn't anything on she wanted to watch, but he knew she didn't like baseball, so he turned it to some mindless sitcom that neither of them enjoyed.

He seemed happy, though, to be doing something together. And it felt good, despite her depression, to make him happy.

"Dad," Bella said during a commercial, "Jessica and Angela are going out tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wanted me to go so do you mind if I go with them?"

"Why you girls going down there?" he asked.

"Just to having some girl time," she said as she gave him the details.

"Well, okay." He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth with the girlie stuff. "It's a school night, though."

"We'll leave right after school, so we can get back early. You'll be okay for dinner, right?"

"Bells, I fed myself for seventeen years before you got here," he reminded her.

"I don't know how you survived," she joked, then added more seriously, "I'll leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, okay? Right on top."

It was sunny again in the morning. Bella awakened with renewed hope that she grimly tried to suppress. She dressed for the warmer weather in a deep blue V-neck blouse, something she'd worn before in Phoenix.

Bella had planned her arrival at school so that she barely had time to make it to class. With a sinking heart, she circled the full lot looking for a space, while also searching for the silver Volvo that was clearly not there.

She parked in the last row and hurried to English, arriving breathless, but subdued, before the final bell. It was the same as yesterday, she just couldn't keep little sprouts of hope from budding in her mind, only to have them squashed painfully as she searched the lunchroom in vain and sat at her empty Biology table.

The Port Angeles scheme was back on again for tonight and it made Bella anxious to get out of town so she could stop glancing over her shoulder, hoping to see him appearing out of the blue the way he always did. She vowed to herself that she would be in a good mood tonight and not ruin Angela's or Jessica's enjoyment.

After school, Jessica followed Bella home in her car so that she could ditch her books and truck. Bella brushed through her hair quickly when she was inside, feeling a slight lift of excitement as she contemplated getting out of Forks. She left a note for Charlie on the table, explaining again where to find dinner, switched her scruffy wallet from her school bag to a purse she rarely used, and ran out to join Jessica. They went to Angela's house next, and she was waiting for them. Herexcitement increased exponentially as we actually drove out of the town limits.