Lightning Flashes - Chapter 9
She's pulled from the gentle peace of her slumber by quiet squeaks, babbled chatter, and the newfound melody of the toy attached to the bumper of the crib. More and more each day, Alexis comes alive first thing in the morning and it's adorable. More adorable when it happens about an hour later, but Kate isn't going to complain. It's better than being awoken by tears (and boy, can that girl cry when she needs to).
Plus, she's warm, she's comfortable, and most of the time she doesn't even have to be the one to get out of bed to get the baby. She does, of course, because Rick deserves a break occasionally, but it's not a requirement. In fact, she can count on one hand how many times he's let her retrieve Alexis since she's been staying with them. First out of necessity and in deference to her injuries, and then later simply because that's Rick.
"Want me to get her?" she murmurs when the music continues, peeking an eye open and twisting just far enough to see if he's awake to answer.
Her bedmate shakes his head against his pillow. "Let her play. It's good for her to learn to entertain herself. When she starts to fuss, we can get her."
Beckett hums in agreement, rolling onto her side to face him. Over the last few weeks, it's been better for her to sleep with her back to him, but with her ribs feeling better every day, she can handle turning around and looking him in the eye for a little bit.
"How'd you sleep?"
Her lips lift. He asks this every morning now, the same rumbled request to hear about her rest, no matter how long either of them has been awake.
"Better than last night, I think," she hums, stretching a little. Her side doesn't pull as much as it has on previous mornings, which is a relief.
Rick's response is lost for a moment, buried deep in the yawn he presses into his pillow. "Sorry," he says, scrubbing a hand over his face. "You look like you're less stiff today."
She nods, pushing her hand under her head. "Yeah, I'm feeling better," she says, though the words come out almost reluctantly.
It feels strange to know that soon she's going to be leaving her friend's home, leaving the companionship that he and Alexis and their unconventional arrangement provide, and going back to her place. If she's honest with herself, she could probably be there now; she's able to lift her arms and sit up without wanting to fall over, she's been cleared to go to work for light (desk) duty and has been for a couple of days, even if she hasn't yet returned to the precinct. She just hasn't gone home because she doesn't want to.
She's not surprised at the gentle slide of his fingers over her shoulder and is unbothered by the warm cup of his hand at her ribcage. With anyone else, she would tell him to back up and give her space, but with Rick she doesn't mind. If anything, she scoots closer, accepts more of his touch, including the drape of his foot over hers.
He's turned her into a cuddler. Or maybe he's just made it okay to cuddle again.
"You okay?"
"Mhmm," she says, licking her lips. "You?"
His face brightens, his eyes losing some of their lingering drowsiness. "I'm good."
Her fingers flex under her head. "S'good. What um, what've you got planned for today?"
Rick yawns again, somehow managing to pull her closer as his body stretches beside her. "I need to get some writing done, see what edits Gina has for me."
"No signings today?"
He shakes his head. "I've got a couple of appearances next week, but today is for writing and finalizing my edits."
Kate nods. He loves to joke about procrastinating and finding ten thousand and one reasons to avoid writing, but he really is good at getting to work when it's necessary.
"Aiming for no angry visits today, huh?"
He chuckles. "Yeah, that's one of my goals. No terse emails from Gina, no Paula beating down the door just to yell at me."
She snorts, shifting against the pillow. Yeah, she remembers what Paula was yelling at him about last time. The topic neither of them has even considered broaching since that night.
What the hell would she even say if they did?
"Low bar, Ricky," she murmurs, clearing her throat before Paula's words can repeat in her mind again.
"… she's never gonna be Kate Beckett."
Rick lifts a shoulder. "Everybody needs a place to start."
Kate snickers. "Overachieving as always."
His fingers twitch against her side, and she knows if it weren't for her still-healing body, he would be trying to tickle her by now.
"I will kick you out of this bed," she warns anyway, just to be sure he knows that is not going to happen. "Right onto your ass."
He grins, lowering his chin until his lips brush the edge of her hairline. "I love when you threaten me, Kate."
"Who's threatening?" She tilts her head back, finding his eyes bright with mischief and his lips –just inches from her own – lifted in amusement. "I'm promising you, Rick."
"Touché," he rumbles, lifting his hand from her side to brush a strand of hair off her cheek. "Still, you do know how to offer a good time."
Another snort of laughter escapes her mouth, earning a pleased smile, softer this time, more genuine than impish, from her companion. Her lips lift higher, echoing his expression, and she watches his eyes dart downward from hers only to return a moment later.
Oh, he's close. He's very close.
Her gaze shifts too, from the warmth of his eyes to the curve of his mouth and back, taking note of how he's moved. How he's moving. Closer, she notes, feeling his fingertips brush her cheek once more before slipping around her neck to steady her. Maybe to steady himself, too.
Her lips part, his name slipping out on a breath.
Alexis's shriek answers instead.
They jerk apart, sitting up almost in unison (she's still the slower of the two of them) and throwing the covers off their legs.
"I-"
"I better – I'll get her," Rick says, running a hand through his hair. The gesture musses the already tussled strands, making them stand in a dozen different directions.
She nods, licking her lips, trying in vain not to remember the heat of his breath against her mouth a moment ago. "I'll… get coffee going."
"Thanks," he breathes, offering her a sideways smile before he leaves his bedroom to retrieve his daughter for the morning.
Kate exhales, dropping her face into her hands.
What just happened?
By the time Rick emerges from upstairs with Alexis – now a much happier sounding Alexis, thankfully – they both seem to have collected themselves. Kate's cheeks feel like they're mostly back to normal, and the pink tinge to her friend's ears seems to have dissipated as well.
"Coffee's almost ready," she says, passing Alexis's bottle along the countertop and moving to drop a couple of bagels in the toaster. "Cream and sugar are already in the mugs, one of us just needs to pour."
"You think of everything," he praises, uncapping the bottle and offering it to the baby.
Alexis takes it happily, kicking her socked feet against Rick's arm as he rounds the corner to stand by the coffee maker and wait.
Kate snorts, moving back to the fridge for cream cheese and the bowl of fruit they've been working through for the last two days. Her shoulder bumps Castle's as she moves past, getting his eyes on hers again.
Okay, maybe they're not quite collected yet.
"Good thing she's holding the bottle on her own now, huh?" she says, clearing her throat. "You have a free hand to pour the coffee."
He chuckles, dipping his head. "Yeah, it's one of the perks of your baby getting bigger."
She watches him drop a kiss on Alexis's hair. "Not too big, though," he adds. "Right, pumpkin?"
Alexis squeaks, smiling around the nipple. Kate leans around Rick, brushing a finger over the baby's hand.
"No, she's not too big yet," she agrees.
Rick hums, swaying with the girl. "But when she does get bigger, we can convince her to make the coffee for us."
Kate laughs, patting his back with mocking indulgence. "Sure, Rick. Sure."
She pretends not to notice him sticking his tongue out at her in favor of grabbing plates and preparing their bagels.
"Thanks," Rick says a few minutes later, changing places with her to put the empty bottle in the sink. She watches him move to the fridge and grab a small container of pureed sweet potato and rice cereal, offering her hand to open it for him when he proves that he can't get the lid off and grip Alexis at the same time.
He pops it in the microwave, grinning at her help in punching in the time.
"Table or-?"
"Table's good," she says. "Let me just take these and I'll come back for the coffee."
"I got 'em," he insists, fingers already closing around the handle of one of the mugs. "Alexis is going to sit in her highchair and try some fruit with us this morning, too. That seedless watermelon is calling her name."
"I guess it's a little too soon for a bagel, huh?"
He chuckles. "Yeah, but she's getting there. Another month or two, I think, and she should be there. The watermelon is so soft and easy, though, that's why I figured now's an okay time to try it."
Kate nods, depositing their plates (and an empty paper plate for the baby) and the fruit on the table and coming back to bring his coffee and Alexis's cereal over while he's still settling Alexis into the highchair. He thanks her instead of arguing, taking his seat across from her and scooping a few pieces of watermelon onto the plate for his daughter.
"So hey," she says after their food is mostly gone, closing her hands around her coffee mug, "I was thinking since you have to actually do some work today, why don't I take Alexis out for a little while? We'll walk, we'll pick up some groceries, just generally stay out of the way while you write."
"Kate-"
"It's to keep you from getting distracted and stave off the angry emails and visits from your posse."
He chuckles, conceding that point.
"But who'll keep me company?"
"Work fast and we'll come back sooner," she says. Her lips lift at his answering pout.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you."
Kate claps her hands, grinning when Alexis mimics her. "Good. It's settled, then."
She's not running. Not much and not very fast anyway.
It's a win for both of them, really. He needs to focus on his book, and she needs… to breathe in something other than his scent, to be wrapped up in something other than the warmth of his place.
He'd been about to kiss her this morning. There's no mistaking the way he'd been moving, the dip of his head or the way his breath had wafted over her lips. He would've kissed her if Alexis hadn't interrupted.
Kate exhales, rubbing a hand over her forehead.
"What are we doing, huh?" she murmurs, looking down at the baby in the stroller. Alexis grins around the teething ring, bouncing against the seat. "Making a mess of things? Making it more difficult for ourselves?"
The girl tilts her head, looking almost like she's considering Kate's words.
"Besides, it's not like I can – or should – take what Paula said when she was yelling at him at face value. I'm an easy target for her, I always have been. Besides, I know he…" she exhales, trailing off. She licks her lips, reaching for a bottle of water in the diaper bag and taking a moment to unscrew the cap and gather her thoughts as she sips.
"I know he lo-I know he cares," Kate corrects herself as Alexis watches her with bright eyes. "He's my best friend, of course he cares. But he's got you and his writing, and I'm… well, I'm this. Work and lots of baggage that I'm just trying not to bring along for the ride when I'm with you."
Alexis squawks, slapping at the side of the stroller. Kate hums in agreement, reaching beneath the canopy to unbuckle her and lift her out. The girl babbles, looking around from her new vantage point.
"Yeah, it's a pretty neat world, isn't it?" she asks. She arranges Alexis on her legs, supporting the baby's body and helping her to stand. "Your Dad's good at making sure it doesn't seem so bad, especially when a bunch of other people do exactly the opposite."
She laughs a little when the baby offers her the teething ring. "No, no. That's yours, Alexis. But it's sweet of you to offer."
Alexis babbles something in reply, dropping her head to Kate's shoulder with a heavy sigh. Beckett nods, rubbing gentle circles on the girl's back.
"I know, baby. It's pretty tough sometimes."
This time, she's the one who sighs. Even the warm weight of Alexis against her chest doesn't completely distract her from her thoughts. Despite her best efforts, she keeps going back to the way Rick's lips had parted, the way his eyes had been so endless and blue.
"I just don't want to mess it all up," she admits to Alexis's hair. The baby's fingers curl against her shirt collar in response, tightening when Kate shifts her arm under her behind for support. "He would try not to let me, I know. He's good like that, too. But I'm just… it's hard to explain. It's that baggage again."
Her companion doesn't respond, not that she expected much of a back and forth with the baby. Not to mention that, judging by the way Alexis sags against her chest, the little one has actually fallen asleep.
"You're right," she agrees, shifting on the park bench. "Maybe it's not that complicated."
Maybe she just needs to suck it up and talk to him – tell him. Instead of trying to work through it in the middle of the day with his child along as a sounding board.
Kate swallows hard. Yeah, that's not terrifying at all.
The loft is quiet when she maneuvers the door open and the stroller inside. Thankfully, Alexis takes any bumps and jostles with her usual cheer, giggling at the ride instead of getting upset. Her nap had been short, but just refreshing enough for the girl to be in a good mood.
"Hey, Castle, we're back," she calls. "You asleep at your keyboard again?"
This time she gets a chuckle in return. Okay, good, he's awake.
"Alexis and I picked up some good stuff," she says, steering the stroller into the kitchen and unloading the groceries onto the counter. "We even got you some cand-"
Another rumble of laughter comes from the office, cutting her off. Her head tilts in confusion.
"Rick? Are you listening?"
"No, that's great. Sounds great. I'll see you in a little while. Yeah, I can't wait."
Kate frowns, glancing down at Alexis. The baby looks back at her, her gaze guileless and sweet.
"Guess he's not talking to me, huh?"
She continues unloading the bags, running a hand over Alexis's head to keep her from squirming too hard in her impatience to get out of the stroller.
"Just a minute. Just one more mi-"
"Hey!"
Her eyes lift quickly, finding her friend lumbering across the living room, looking both sheepish and a little surprised.
"Hey."
"I, ah, didn't hear you come in."
Kate leans over to unbuckle Alexis, lifting the girl out before Rick can swoop in and do it. "Yeah, you must've been on the phone or something."
He nods quickly, holding out his hands for his daughter. She gives Alexis over, of course, but finds herself unsure of what to do with her empty hands.
"Ah, yeah. Sorry about that. I was just-"
"Making plans?" she interrupts, feeling the bite a little too acutely.
Rick runs a hand through his hair before doing the same for Alexis. "Kind of, yeah. It's… nothing big. Just something that came up, a late lunch thing – Paula called and wanted me to meet someone."
Kate swallows hard, hearing what he isn't saying. A date. He made a date.
He came a breath away from kissing her in his bed this morning and he's made a lunch date for the afternoon.
Well, that answers that question.
"Are you okay?"
She exhales, trying her hardest to keep the breath from shaking. "Yeah," she lies, plastering an empty smile on her face. "Yeah. Go on. Have fun. Alexis and I'll be fine."
Her hands land on the bags of groceries, digging each item out with increasing fervor.
"Kate-"
"Enjoy your date, Castle," she says.
He doesn't try to argue with her wording, doesn't deny that that's what it is. At least he gives her that much honesty. He does, however, start to say her name once again but closes his mouth a second later.
"You know, I think it's probably time for me to go back to my place," she adds after a moment, lifting her chin. "I can go back to work whenever I want – desk duty, but still work – so, it's time. When you get back, I'll be doing that."
She doesn't wait for him to respond before moving to put the groceries away and start Alexis's afternoon snack.
Yeah, they're a couple of idiots.
Thank you for reading! As always, I appreciate your patience while I try to be a functional person in my everyday life (it's harder than you think). The wait for the next chapter won't be nearly as long as it was for this one, though, I promise.
