"When age chills the blood, when our pleasure are past. For years fleet away with the wings of the. The dearest remembrance will be the last. Our sweetest memorial the first kiss of love."

~ Lord Byron.

Chapter Thirteen

"And now you have seen the whole of the mill, Margaret." Mr. Thornton smiled down at her, his face a study in pride and confidence.

Margaret looked around the last of the sheds, the room where the raw cotton was stored until it could be carded and woven into cotton yardage. She had learned so much today! He had patiently answered her dozens of questions about the cloth making process, as he guided her from building to building.

"This is a silly question perhaps," she frowned, "but how do patterns appear on the cotton?"

He took her hand in his and lifted it to his lips. "I told you, no question is foolish."

"Yes, I know." She felt her face flush. They were alone in this big building, and although noise could be heard from the yard and echoes from other places in the mill, no one could see them.

"I have a question for you," he whispered, his voice thick. "May I kiss you?"

Her face lifted to his. She had never been kissed before, even though Henry had tried to sneak one more than once, she had been able to avoid the contact. Now, for the first time, she very much was curious how a man's lips would feel against hers.

"It will be my first," she said quietly.

"Truly?" he asked, his eye soft and a grin playing at the corner of his lips.

She chuckled half surprised, half embarrassed. "I do not make a habit of kissing men."

He laughed then, too. Cupping her face with his hands, he touched his nose to hers. "Shall I be your first, then?"

"Yes, please," she breathed.

He tilted his head ever so slightly, to touch his lips to hers. Warmth streamed through her body and as she stepped closer, her hands slid up his chest and rested on the lapels of his frockcoat. She was not exactly certain what to do, so she simply followed his lead. She startled when the tip of his tongue touched her lips, gently asking to deepen the kiss. She did not even think, she simply followed his silent guide. Her mind was floating, as if the rest of the world had dropped away and she and John were the only two people left. She felt him pulling away, but she moved closer, grabbing his lapels to make him continue the embrace. She heard him chuckle, and suddenly embarrassed by her brazen behavior, she drew back. He wrapped his arms around the back of her waist and drew her close against him.

"You laughed," she moaned.

"Not at you, love." He rested his cheek against the top of her head. "I enjoyed your ardent response to my touch. It was surprise that caused my chuckle. I had no idea you wanted my kiss or I might have tried to sneak you away at the musical on Friday."

"You would not have!" She tried to step back, but instead he took her hands in his.

"Now that the secret is out, I think I may keep my eyes open for dark corners."

"John!" she sputtered.

"Yes, do call me John." He caressed her cheek with the pads of his fingers. "So smooth," he whispered and bent low again. A discrete cough stopped him midway. She jumped back, embarrassed at having been caught.

It was Mr. Williams. A wide smile covered his face, instead of a chastising look she had expected to find.

"I hope it's important?" John growled.

Williams laughed. "Or what? Will you sack me?" He laughed again. "The repair man needs to speak with you and your mother is wandering around looking for Miss Hale." Williams tipped his head toward her.

"Is it time already for your sewing?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "Somehow, I seem to have lost track of the time." And my senses.

John checked his watch. "It is just half passed one. You will be on time, Margaret. Come," he held out his hand to her, "I shall deliver you myself."

She took his proffered hand, which he placed in the crook of his arm.

"Williams," he called over his shoulder. "Tell the repair man I will be back in a few moments, once I see Miss Hale settled. Oh, here is Mother now." The three of them walked toward Mrs. Thornton who was standing alone in the yard, watching the activities of the bustling mill.

"Well, I have finally found you." Mrs. Thornton frowned at John.

"I said I would have her back to you by two," John reminded his mother.

"Yes, but I did not think it would take you so long," she argued.

Were they fighting over her? Oh, she wanted to giggle.

"You get the rest of the day with her, I only wanted an hour or so." He glanced down at her with a tender look upon his face. "I showed Margaret the process from finish to start. She did have a final question regarding the printing of patterns. I did not have time to answer that question." He patted her hand, still resting on his arm. "I will be off now with Williams to see to the repair man, but I will be home for dinner, and then take Margaret home and stay for my lessons."

His mother nodded. "Fanny has finally arrived." A fierce frown suddenly covered the older woman's face. "With Miss Latimer. I do not believe I have ever seen her sew. We shall see how today progresses."

Margaret smiled at him as he walked away. He really was a handsome man, and the more she looked at him, the more she liked what she saw. When she turned back to Mrs. Thornton, she realized the older woman was looking at her critically.

Confused, Margaret asked, "Is something amiss?"

Mrs. Thornton walked forward to her. "You will be good to him." It was a statement, really almost an order.

Margaret grinned and nodded. "He is a very fine man, Mrs. Thornton."

Mrs. Thornton stared at her for several minutes before nodding again. "He is not a fancy London gentleman, Margaret. What you have seen of him is what he is. Since meeting you, I have never seen him so happy. I believe it will be a struggle, one that may be difficult for you."

"What do you mean?" Margaret asked.

"John has devoted his life to this mill." She tipped her head toward the large red-bricked building. "I was hesitant to encourage his studies with your father. I worried he would become exhausted, and overwhelmed. I see now, he needed outside interests beyond his weekly evening at the men's club."

"He is as fine as any man I have ever met," Margaret answered with sincerity. "I want to make Milton my home. Whatever you can do to help me along the way, I would appreciate more than you know."

Mrs. Thornton's face softened. "The mill… his business… it may always come ahead of any… commitment he makes to you. This is nothing you should take personally; it is just how men of business behave. He is not a man of leisure, as many in London. However, once you secure John's affections, he will be true to you. Many other women have tried to snare him, but you have succeeded."

"Oh, my. Mrs. Thornton, I have no interest in snaring him!" Margaret sputtered.

Incensed, Margaret walked away, stalking toward the mill house. Is that what she appeared to be doing?

"Margaret, wait a moment." Mrs. Thornton called out. When she was close, she said, "I do not mean to imply you are chasing him. Goodness!"

"That is what you insinuated," Margaret whispered. "I would never chase a man."

"Let me explain." Mrs. Thornton sighed. "Because your mother is ill, and has not seen the two of you together very often, I wish only to advise you, and at the same time, protect my son's heart. I know him well, Margaret. John is falling in love with you. The way he looks at you, how he speaks to you, and of you, shows me all I need to know."

She paused before responding. She knew she must choose her words carefully. She did wish to cause offense

"I respect and admire him greatly. I am also coming to care for him, Mrs. Thornton." Margaret looked away and then back at the older woman. "I have no intention to hurt him. I want to know him better. Today, learning about the mill was wonderful." Margaret sighed deeply. "I am not exactly certain how to explain this. You see, when I was living in London, my aunt sheltered me so much, it was like I was on display, not part of the world, just on the edges. My life was like a drama being played on a stage. I did what I was told to do, acted as I was taught. In Milton, and for the rest of my life, I want to be part of everything. I feel like a cat who has suddenly been set free to explore the world."

"You will find your way here, Margaret. John and I will help guide you if you allow us," Mrs. Thornton said. She resumed walking and Margaret followed behind. "I know your mother will be leaving Milton soon, but I will be available should you need advice."

"Thank you."

"Tell me, are you aware of the circumstances surrounding the death of my husband?" Mrs. Thornton asked.

Margaret nodded. "Mr. Thornton and I spoke about him briefly."

Mrs. Thornton nodded. "It is our family's greatest embarrassment. It says much to me that John told you."

"I shall never break that confidence," Margaret said, slowing her pace and finally stopping.

"It is not a secret. Most of Milton knows." Mrs. Thornton bustled her along, again. "John has overcome that scandal and he is now at the pinnacle of success in the textile business community. And, he is not known just here, but throughout the whole world."

Margaret smiled at the pride Mrs. Thornton had in her voice. Jane, as usual, was at the door waiting to admit them into the red-bricked home which matched the façade of the mill buildings. How did the maid always know when someone was close to the door? Margaret followed Mrs. Thornton into the house and climbed the stairs which reached the main floor. She glanced at the large clock on the mantle and realized it was almost two o'clock. The women would begin arriving at any time.

"Margaret, go choose a good spot to sit," Mrs. Thornton instructed. She gestured toward the large sitting room. "I shall join you as soon as I am certain the maids are prepared for the visit."

Margaret could not imagine any Thornton employee not ready for anything, but she followed Mrs. Thornton's order and entered the finely appointed parlor. Margaret had not yet been allowed entry into this room. Next to the doorframe, sitting on the floor, she spotted her stitching bag. Picking it up, she moved to the chair closest to the window, a position which gave a good viewpoint of the entire room, and also provided adequate natural light.

Mrs. Thornton, despite not being a fan of London, had decorated this space in a similar fashion to any fine home in London. Aunt Shaw preached that any room not fully decorated, was a wasted and boring space. Her aunt had art covering every inch of her walls. She had furniture enough to seat a small army in her parlor and sitting rooms. Mrs. Thornton also had plenty of room for seating the women coming today, but the room was not nearly as cluttered as her aunt's home.

Like Aunt Shaw, Mrs. Thornton's parlor housed plants everywhere, on tables, hanging from the ceiling and near the windows, too. Ferns and palms seemed plentiful, and as they were thought exotic, and thus expensive, Mrs. Thornton made certain they were well represented. No dead animals were on display as her aunt had, most under glass cloches, but the Thorntons did use an entire wall to house bookshelves from floor to ceiling. Each shelf was brimming with books and small porcelain accents. Given time, Margaret would love to explore that section of the room.

Oddly, no family portraits hung on the red-papered walls as Aunt Shaw's home displayed. Mrs. Thornton seemed to prefer birds and flowers, perhaps because both were rare in Milton, she enjoyed seeing portraits to remind her of nature? The wallpaper matched the oriental design of the enormous rug which covered virtually the entire floor from wall to wall. Only bits of finely polished wood could be seen at the edges. Mrs. Thornton added splashes of red and gold throughout the room, tying all the colors together. It was not a cozy room, nor was it cold. It displayed both Mrs. Thornton's wealth and her good taste.

As Margaret pulled out her stitching, her hand grabbed the folder of sheet music for Fanny. She had planned to give it to John that evening to deliver to his sister, but since she was here, Margaret would leave it for his sister, instead.

Margaret heard women's voices coming closer, likely as the visitors climbed the front staircase. Secretly, she hoped the Latimers would not come. It was always so much more comfortable without them. Margaret was already nervous enough being at the Thornton's home, especially after the intimate conversation she and Mrs. Thornton had shared in the mill yard. And John's delightful kiss.

"Have you kissed many women?" Margaret blurted out. "Oh, my goodness." Margaret covered her face with her hands. "Please do not answer that," she whispered.

Laughter erupted from John. They were bumping along New Street in the Thornton carriage heading toward the Hale home in Crampton. They had never ridden in a carriage alone, and it seemed Margaret was going to take advantage of the privacy. He did not mind whatsoever. The more time alone they had, the happier he would be. He wanted her to know him well, in different situations, in all parts of his life. Showing her his mill this morning was a huge step for them. He had never welcomed a woman into that part of his world. He would be excited to learn what she enjoyed about the mill and what other questions she might have.

Smiling, he commanded, "Look at me, please."

"No," she whispered behind her hands.

He chuckled again while he reached forward and pried one hand away from her beautiful face, kissed it and then reached for the other and did the same.

"You can ask me anything, Margaret," John answered softly. "Is that not the point of a courtship?"

"Are we courting then?"

"You never did answer me earlier, did you? You just agreed to dance with me twice, but beyond that will you continue to be my partner?" He deliberately lowered his voice, and stared directly into her eyes. He wanted her to know how important this question was to him.

She nodded. "Yes, John."

He smiled broadly, feeling as if he had just conquered the top of Mount Everest, the mountain which was recently declared as the world's tallest. He wasn't a hiker, but he imagined the thrill would be comparable.

He moved to sit next to her on the carriage seat, and pulled her into his arms. She came eagerly into his embrace. He kissed her temple and tightened his hold upon her. She smelled like roses again.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair. "I will do my best to make you happy, Margaret." He pulled away and cupped her face. "If I am negligent in meeting your needs, you must alert me at once." He tipped up her chin and kissed her nose. "I do not wish there to be secrets or uncertainties between us."

She grinned. "You will have to learn my secrets, won't you?"

John quirked his brow, challenging her. "Nothing that will shock me, eh? Is your brother the only secret you have?"

"No, there is nothing else that will shock you." She laughed. "I am a young woman who has lived between London and Helstone, and now Milton. Oh, perhaps not a secret, but you might wish to know I shall turn one and twenty at the beginning of January."

"I never thought to ask your age." He chuckled. "Shall you guess mine?"

"Perhaps," she said with a grin. "However, I would rather hear your answer about kissing women."

"You said not to give you the answer," he teased. "I am guessing you spoke without thinking."

"I did. Please?" A beautiful flush covered her cheeks. "I truly wish to know. It is only fair as you know you were my first."

He sighed. "Will you promise not to judge me too harshly?"

Her eyes widened; in the exact effect he was hoping for. "No, I will not judge you."

"Well then, I have kissed two others." He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Both were quite some time ago, and in France. You see, I travel there twice a year, to the city of Le Havre, for business."

"You do?" Her eyes lit up. "Have you been to Paris?"

"No. I go only for mill business and then I return. However…" He leaned closer. "If, in the future, I should happen to have a companion to see the sights with, I might consider staying longer to explore. Have you been there?"

She shook her head and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. He noticed she did that when she was nervous or embarrassed.

"No, I have not." She looked back up at him. "My aunt and Edith often travel to the Continent. They vacationed during the summers while I was home with my parents."

"What a shame they left you out of such trips." He wanted to rebuke her aunt for the oversight, but knowing how much Margaret cared for the women, he held his tongue.

She shrugged, and rested her head against his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "I enjoyed spending time in Helstone with my parents." She pulled back to meet his gaze, a curious frown marring her beautiful features. "Why have you only kissed French women?"

He cleared his throat, feeling slightly embarrassed by the question. He had given her leave to ask whatever she wished of him, and she seemed to have questions.

"I did not wish to tie myself permanently to either one," he said, "and as you have seen even during your short time in Milton, gossips do tend to freely run their mouths." He lifted her hand to his lips again and then held on to it. "We, you and I, have already been connected because of the operetta last week, and I suppose we were seen Sunday walking at the park. And, of course your tour of the mill was rather public today. I was told you had a rather lengthy discussion with my dear mother in the mill yard today."

She sighed rather dramatically and he chuckled. "It seems we are a couple?" she asked.

"And how do you feel about that, Miss Margaret Hale?"

"You make me happy, John Thornton, that's how I feel." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I am excited to spend more time with you and I feel quite honored you have chosen me, over so many others."

He grinned. "Not that many."

"You may wish to tell your mother that. She thinks there have been swarms of women you have had to brush aside."

He snorted. His mother would say that. She, of course, had no idea about his private life until now. Margaret was the first he shared time with in public.

"I do not think it will much signify going forward. As long as my intentions are clear toward you, and your father accepts my courtship of you, she will know that you are the only woman I will be concentrating my attentions on."

He kissed her nose again. She had an adorable nose.

"After my Friday evening with Rupert, I will give you the same undivided attention." She smiled sweetly, and he could not hold back from kissing her lips again, before the coach came to a halt in front of the Crampton home.

After Dixon collected their outerwear, she and John parted company in the foyer of the house. With a wink her way, John went in to visit and study with her father, Margaret decided she needed to have an important, overdo conversation with her mother.

She climbed the single flight of stairs to her mother's room and found the door slightly ajar. Margaret peeked inside through the crack, and saw, as expected, her mother sitting in her chair, stitching. She sighed, and gently rapped on the door. When her mother called out, Margaret swept inside, wearing a bright sunny smile.

"Good evening, Mama."

Her mother looked up over the top rim of her spectacles and after securing her needle in the fabric, she set the needlework aside to give Margaret her full attention.

"You have had a busy day, young lady! You left very early and now it is just after seven." She folded her hands in her lap and Margaret sat close to her on the edge of the bed.

"I have spent the day with the Thornton family." She smiled.

"With the pleased look upon your face, it is obvious you had a fine day."

Margaret nodded, her smile growing. "Mrs. Thornton has been very welcoming to me, and helping me get situated in Milton. I had a nice lunch and dinner at their home and the sewing meeting went well."

Unfortunately, Mrs. Latimer and her daughter had come. Instead of stitching, however, Anne and Fanny played the piano music Margaret had brought for Fanny. It was hard for Margaret to believe Fanny took frequent lessons as she missed far more notes than she hit. She also banged the keys, and her posture, both the way she sat at the piano, and the positions of her fingers on the keys was incorrect. And the two giggled, so loudly it was hard to have any conversation with the other ladies.

"I must admit, Margaret, I feel rather jealous of the time you are spending with Mrs. Thornton," her mother said. "I resented the time you spent in London with my sister, also. However, at least with Anna, I knew you were becoming an accomplished young woman, something you would not have accomplished in Helstone. I believe Mrs. Thornton may lead you down the wrong path."

Margaret never had an inkling that her mother felt that way. The letters from home were more often from her father than her mother. Indeed, Margaret sometimes wondered if her mother had forgotten about her. Growing up, her mother's attentions had always been fixated on Frederick.

"Why do you think Mrs. Thornton would do such a thing?" Margaret asked softly.

"She and her son both will paint such a rosy picture of Milton, they will convince you to stay. I do not wish for you to waste your youth here, Margaret, with people so inferior to you." Her eyes filled with tears.

"Mama, I have every plan to stay here with Papa. I know you need to leave, and I understand your resistance to settling here, but I will stay. I will also still visit Edith and Aunt Shaw, but Milton is now my home and I must accept that and so must you. That is part of the reason I am speaking with you." She glanced down at her hands hoping to be courageous enough to tell her mother about her heart. "Mr. Thornton has asked to court me, and I have said yes."

It took several heartbeats before her mother said, "I see." When she looked up, her mother refused to meet Margaret's eyes, so she tugged on the sleeve of her mother's gown.

When she met Margaret's eyes, Margaret continued, "I am coming to care for John Thornton, Mama. He is a fine man whose company I truly enjoy. I find him very handsome, mannerly, funny and is quite well situated here in Milton. In truth, I am far more attracted to, and interested in him than anyone I have ever met."

"He is an industrialist, a businessman." It sounded almost like a growl from her mother. "You will never be his priority, Margaret. He works long hours, Mr. Bell told us that. He will not allow you to come to London whenever you wish." Her voice was now becoming shrill. "You will be tied here, to this dirty, smelly, disgusting town."

"Mama, do not become so overwrought. You know there is no utopia on Earth, Mama." Margaret was trying her best to remain calm. "I choose to grab onto happiness where I can find it." She took her mother's hand and squeezed. "Already, I have found a purpose here."

"Child, you have been here such a short time." Her mother squeezed her hand. "Why tie yourself to a man already? Why not leave your choices open and your heart free?"

Margaret smiled. "Mama, my heart is already engaged. I certainly never expected to find a man to care for here in Milton, but I have. And, he is a very fine man, too. We may not always be here in Milton, either," Margaret said. "Just because we may begin our life together here does not mean it will forever be here."

Her mother snorted. "He is a Mill Master. He will never set aside that occupation." She sighed. "Of course, I never expected your father would, either."

Margaret ignored that jab, and instead returned to what she had come to tell her mother. "John has asked that you come downstairs tonight so he might ask both you and Papa for consent."

Her mother's eyes widened. "Consent for an engagement? Oh, Margaret that is too much, too quickly."

"No, Mama, just a courtship," Margaret soothed. "I must be certain he and I are indeed compatible for a lifetime."

Her mother sighed despondently. "So many marriages used to be arranged by parents. Why, my own parents had an arranged marriage." Her mother looked at her hopefully. "Why not allow your father and I to find a suitable match for you in London? Now that Edith is married, Anna can shift her attention to finding you a husband." Her expression turned hopeful. "She tells me Henry Lennox is quite attentive to you."

Margaret nodded. "Yes, yes he is. He has been since Captain Lennox began his courtship of Edith. He served as a chaperone many times, and I was often brought along to make up numbers."

"You have no attachment to him?" her mother prodded.

Margaret shook her head, no. "Friendship, nothing more. I tried, Mama, truly I did. He is a nice man, and will make someone a fine husband, just not me."

"There is more to marriage than physical attraction," her mother said. Margaret saw a blush climb up her mother's cheek.

Margaret smiled. "Yes, that is true, Mama. Henry is a handsome man, but John has many qualities that Henry does not. John makes me laugh. He is well respected by his workers, Mrs. Williams who lives just three doors down from here," Margaret pointed the general direction of the Williams' home. "can tell you that. Mr. Bell said much the same when he was here for dinner."

"It is not so much Mr. Thornton I am concerned with," her mother said, "but rather the fact you will be trapped here, with no chance to get away which troubles me.

"Mama, I do not want to get away. I will make certain I will be able to travel to see London and perhaps John will enjoy exploring other parts of the world with me? We are not exchanging vows today, only asking you and Papa to give us your blessing to get to know each other better."

"Let us get this over with." Her mother actually stood up, without being prodded. "If it will make you happy to spend time with him, I will consent." Her mother took her hand. "Please do not rush into anything more than a courtship. You must be certain that you can be happy here."

"Yes, Mama, I shall."