A/N: Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. It means a lot. Seriously.
Disclaimer: We make not one penny off of this, but reviews make us happy.
Rage. Betrayal. It sat in her gut like an anvil. There was a burning in her chest, a stinging in her eyes. The muscles in her shoulders, back, and arms felt like a jumble of ropes twisted together, being yanked tightly. And the worst part of it was the embarrassment, the humiliation.
"You...accepted?" she asked, slowly, her voice quiet. Some might say dangerous.
She wasn't sure if she'd heard right. Maybe she hadn't. He didn't say anything, just a slow nod.
"The NSA? ...The NSA… You're…"
"I'm going to train to be a spy. Like you. Like Casey." He huffed. "I-I didn't-"
"When? And what in the hell were you thinking?" she asked, her jaw clenching. Tens of thousands of things were rocketing through her brain, the horrible fear that she'd been lied to creeping up to the forefront of her mind.
"I…" But then he stopped. He didn't continue.
Her head snapped up to ask him again, to force him to continue. She might even reach over the table and shake him. But then she saw his eyes go blank, his eyelids fluttering. Fear was on his face then, and it wasn't fear at her wrath-a wrath that was building the more what he'd just told her settled in her gut. The absolute gall of his decision, the lack of foresight, the dangerous, egotistical… But then it dawned on her what Chuck was doing, his gaze moving back and forth, settling on people behind her, over her shoulder.
He slammed his hands on the table and held on, lowering his chin to his chest, his whole body tense.
"What?" she snapped. "What's going on?"
A shiver went through him. "Why? No, no, no, no...Not now… Sarah…"
"Did you just flash? Are you flashing?" she whispered hoarsely as she leaned close.
"Y-Yeah, we…" His lifted his gaze to hers. "Sarah, we're surrounded."
She wanted to flip a fucking table. Right now? Really?
The gig seemed to be up, too. Because every single person in the restaurant-this restaurant that had seemed so strangely empty for this time of night, with its excellent noodles and dumplings-looked over at them and slowly rose to their feet, guns coming up from under their napkins, out from behind their aprons…
As a few of them stepped closer to their table, Chuck sat up straighter and caught her eye. "Sarah, you have your gun, right?" he breathed so only she could hear him.
"Nope," she said through gritted teeth, trying to do a quick headcount. God, there were at least thirteen people in here. That was too many.
"What?" he snapped. "Why not?"
Oh, he definitely didn't want to pull this shit with her right now. "Because you don't bring a gun on a real date," she hissed through her teeth, leaning forward, fire practically shooting out of her eyes. He paled at that.
And now she was realizing, as an extremely massive figure moved out from the back of the restaurant to approach their table, that Chuck's "real date" had been set up like this on purpose. He'd brought her out on the date with the purpose of dropping this bombshell she had yet to fully understand on her. She could strangle him. Reeling her in, tricking her so she'd let herself be reeled in, and then BAM!
He was going to train to be a spy. It didn't even make any God damn sense. He wasn't making sense. There was no logical reason. Did he want to die?
"Hello again, Chuck."
Sarah diverted her gaze, her brow furrowed with a sense of betrayal, from Chuck to look up at the hulking wall standing beside their table. "And you are?" she asked. She didn't care how big he was; she was ready to cut a bitch and if he wanted to be first, so be it.
"My name is Mister Colt," the man announced. Then he turned to Chuck. "And I need you to come with me."
Like fuck he was taking Chuck out of this restaurant. She still had some shit to say to the fucking nerd. He had some things he damn well had better say to her. An explanation for why in the hell he was joining the NS-fucking-A, for one.
"What makes you think we're going anywhere with you?" she asked, trying to keep her temper at bay.
"'Cause I assume you find me imposing. Don't worry, be honest. I'm going for imposing."
She had no patience for guys with catchy one-liners. Chuck was a guy with catchy one-liners, sometimes. She hated catchy one-liners. Sure, she'd liked them before. Or maybe just because he'd said them. But right now she wanted to push catchy one-liners off a damn cliff and watch as they were dashed on the rocks below, a bloody mess.
"Mission accomplished." Chuck gulped and glanced helplessly at Sarah. She just glared back at him, then glanced around the place. He seriously thought he wanted to be a spy and he had the nerve to look to her to get them out of this? What happened to Mr. I Want to Be A Spy? Mr. I Was Apparently Talking Out of My Ass When I Said I Wanted a Normal Life?
"Well, I'll tell you what. The people that hired me... give me the heebie-jeebies."
Go fuck yourself, Wall Man, she wanted to say. But instead she was looking for a way out. She'd save this jack-ass again, but if he wanted to be a spy so bad, he could save his own damn ass after this. Because she was done.
"You know, when you put it in context like that, I-I…"
"Let's go," Colt said, snapping his fingers at the man behind him. "We'll take care of the check."
Sarah slowly shifted her hand towards the chopsticks she left propped on her dumpling plate, moving her hair with the other hand to distract anyone who might be looking. She sent Chuck a look and he must've picked up on it because he dove right in on his bizarre rambling to throw Colt off.
"Um, you know, are you sure?" Colt turned to look at him in confusion. "The moo goo gai pan is very expensive here, so we could probably go Dutch or something. How much do bad guys normally tip?"
As he got out his last line, Sarah curled her fingers around the chopsticks and leapt to her feet, swinging the sticks at Colt's neck. But he caught her by her wrist, moving way faster than anyone his size had any right to move. She brought her left fist around to crack into his skull, but he slammed his forearm against her bicep to keep her from making contact. And just like that, he had her neck pinched between his fingers. She cried out in pain, knowing she was just one move away from being killed. He just had to squeeze a little harder…
She froze as she heard Chuck's, "Sarah!"
"Move and she dies," Colt warned through a clenched jaw. Chuck sat back down in his seat heavily, fear in his eyes as he met her gaze.
There was a beeping sound then, and she glanced down at Chuck's wrist. Casey. Oh, thank God…
"What is that?" Colt asked.
She smirked. "It's a homing device."
Chuck spun to look out the window then and she shifted in a stunned Colt's grip to follow his gaze. "Is that a Crown Victoria?" Chuck asked.
Oh, shit.
"MOVE!" she yelled, smacking Colt to get out of his grip and diving out of the way. Before she could, she felt a pair of arms half-lift her and lunge with her behind some tables as she heard the loud, terrifying crash of the car slamming through the front windows and smashing into the front counter.
Sarah coughed and realized who was half lying on top of her, who'd bodily hefted her out of the way of Casey's grand entrance.
"Hey! Somebody order drive-thru?" Casey snarked. The fucking one-liners.
"Get off!" she snapped at Chuck, pushing at him. "Get up. Come on!" She clambered up to her feet and tossed him in the direction of the car. "Get in the car!"
They both dove into the front of the Crown Victoria. "CASEY, DRIVE!" she barked as she watched Colt crack his fist into the NSA agent's face. Luckily, Casey fell right back into the driver's seat, moved his legs under the wheel, slammed his door, and backed out of the restaurant as Chuck yelled, "GO, GO, GO, GO!"
As Casey spun his car in the middle of the street and stepped on the gas, she heard the sickening sound of bullets pounding into the body of the vehicle. She grabbed Chuck by his head and yanked him down with her as Casey finally got them clear of Colt's miniature army.
Chuck yelled when she let go of him and sat up again. He shot up beside her and yelled a second time. "Oh! Ohh!" He was gripping hard onto the dashboard, shaking. Then he spun and leaned forward a bit to look at Casey. "SOMEBODY ORDER DRIVE-THRU, HUH? Did you think that up as you were racing to save us? 'Hey, maybe I'll say this after I crash into this restaurant'!" he half-yelled. Right into her ear, too, now that she was smashed between them. The freaking jackass.
She spun on him. "Welcome to the spy life, Chuck! You wanna be a spy? This is it! Guys like that interrupting your real dates! If you ever get any real dates, because you're a fucking spy!" she yelled, leaning close to his face. He looked stricken, surprised, still trembling a bit in fear. "You wanna be a spy, Chuck? Great! Dive out of the way of a Crown Victoria driving through the front window of a God damn restaurant! You get cornered by a guy built like a tank? Figure it the fuck out! That's what you do when you're a spy. That sound good to you? Huh? That sound like something you want to be a part of?"
Silence settled in the car as Casey swung his car onto the freeway. "Uh…" He cleared his throat. "I, uh, take it...he told you. I mean, the, uh, news."
"Shut up, Casey!" she barked, not even bothering to look at him. "I'll deal with your bullshit next. But right now, I want to know what in the hell all of this was all these months, Chuck?" He looked like he'd been blindsided a bit, and how dare he? How dare he look stricken? How dare he look like he'd been the one blindsided? "Over and over and over, you led me to believe you wanted a normal life, without the Intersect, away from all of this spying stuff. I spent all of this time protecting you, keeping you safe, working to find a way to get you free from all of this, because I was so sure that was what you wanted. And then you get the slightest whiff of an opportunity to train as an agent with the NSA, and fuck all of that I guess." She threw her hands up as best she could, smashed between Chuck and Casey in this front seat. "Do you think all of this is easy, Chuck?"
"N-No, I-" he tried, but she cut him off. She didn't want to hear him right now.
"You think that because you've been a part of this operation as an asset for a couple of months, you can just dive right into becoming an agent like it's nothing? You think you're gonna swing this because you watched Casey and I do it?"
She saw anger in him then, and something deep inside of her sparked at the sight. "I'm not an idiot!" he snapped back. "I know it's hard. I was there when all of us almost died a shit ton of times, Sarah. That's why I am going to be trained!"
"Oh, are you?" she snarked. "Wow, great. That's just great." She turned to look at Casey. "So we're just going to train the man carrying the Intersect in his brain to be an agent so that he can end up in even worse danger. Let's toss him into the field like he's expendable, the way you and I have spent our whole careers being shoved into deadly situations like we're expendable. Risking our God damn necks. Is that what we all want now?" She turned back to Chuck. "We want Chuck to risk his neck the way we do?"
"The kid deserves a choice," Casey muttered.
"I'm not a kid," Chuck cut in. "I'm a grown man…"
"This decision is super grown of you, Chuck, yes," she drawled sarcastically, bunching her fists in the hem of her dress. She wanted to strangle both of them. "When was this decided? When did everyone decide to make Chuck into an NSA agent without letting me in on the secret?" she asked.
The car was silent.
"That long, huh?" she finally asked, quietly. She scoffed bitterly. "Some partnership this is."
"I told Casey not to tell you. I wanted to do this," Chuck explained, and she gave him a severe look for that.
"I was talking about all three of us, Chuck. This partnership. This team." She gestured between the three of them. He cast his gaze downward, looking legitimately contrite.
"Sarah, I didn't make this decision without putting a lot of thought into it. I knew it could keep me out of a bunker, and I could-could take control of my own life, my own destiny."
"Is that what you think this is?" She half-laughed at his naivety. "You think this life is anything even remotely close to freedom? Have you even been paying attention, Chuck? Oh my God! The only way you're ever going to be free is if we get that Intersect out of your head and get the government away from you, get you away from the intelligence agencies. And here you are diving head first into one. I can't believe you, Chuck!"
She felt the sting of tears at the backs of her eyes now. He was ruining everything. This was a path towards disaster. He'd hopped onto the path that would take him as far away from a normal life as possible, and she knew beyond a doubt that it was the same path that would destroy the man she'd come to know better than anyone else in her entire life, the man she cared about more than she cared to admit, even now as she battled the painful sensation of betrayal. This was so fucking stupid, so fucking unfair.
"We have to find out who those men were, who Colt is. We need to know who they're working for," she said, changing the subject so fast she saw Casey's head whip around and stare at her, wide-eyed.
"Nuh uh," he growled. "Nope. There were way too many of 'em."
"At least we have the cipher I got from Colt in the first place."
Sarah grit her teeth to keep from snapping something snarky and potentially hurtful at Chuck.
"Uh…" They both turned to look at Casey. He'd had a tone. And she didn't like it. At all. He cleared his throat. "About that… Looks like you're still the only Intersect, Chuck."
She turned to face forward, the meaning not lost on her. They'd gotten the cipher from Casey. How, she didn't know. It didn't matter.
"...Sarah?" Chuck muttered, desperation and worry in his voice.
She didn't answer, still staring at the street in front of them, filled with rage and embarrassment and a slew of other things, wanting to reach over and shake Chuck until he told her it was a prank or something. That he really hadn't decided to become a spy, that he wasn't actually choosing to forsake everything that made him...him...just to get to run around holding a gun like the idiots on the TV shows and movies he watched growing up.
He couldn't rely on her anymore. She wouldn't let him. If he wanted to be a spy, he was doing this on his own. Without her help. She was done helping.
Because she had this debilitating fear that she'd helped him right into making this stupid decision that would end up with him dead. It left her shaking in the silence of the car.
"We'll get it back," Casey was saying, but she wasn't listening.
Chuck was choosing to step all the way into her world and she couldn't help feeling like she was a big part of the reason why. All this time, she'd been protecting him from arms dealers, drug smugglers, terrorists, traitors, the government… and she'd never realized she'd left him totally unguarded when it came to herself. He was walking into the spy world, her world … because she'd left the door open for him.
}o{
He hadn't slept well that night. He knew things might go bad, but this...this was worse than he ever thought. She wouldn't even hear him out...she was ready to kiss him one second, and the next…
He wasn't one hundred percent sure she hadn't left Burbank, she was that mad.
The morning passed by slowly. Casey had the later shift and no one seemed to want to talk to him. It was like he was radiating a vibe of stay away from me. He thought about texting her, he thought about going over to the Orange Orange, but that was as far as those thoughts went.
He was angry if he was being honest. No, he was disappointed. He made the decision, he was a grown up, and Sarah was treating him like a child, and he had no idea why. They were allowed to be together now, and she was angry at him. It made no sense to him. None.
She hadn't said a word to him for the rest of the car ride, and he and Casey rode in silence back to Echo Park. Casey said he'd take care of the Herder, which was probably for the best because he had forgotten all about it. He started to get out of the car when Casey asked him if he was going to the beach. Chuck shook his head and went inside, not saying a word to anyone.
He'd avoided Ellie and Awesome this morning, not wanting either of them to pick out that something was wrong. He didn't want to have to tiptoe and lie around what happened.
He went on break early, because who cared?
He sat at the table and stared straight ahead, preoccupied by what had happened in Casey's car.
It didn't make sense. He thought she might be upset, sure, but they could be together now. Was he not enough?
Or did she want that handler/asset barrier there to protect herself? This had always been his fear. He knew she cared for him, but was a life in his world not enough? Even if that was the case, he'd just made a decision that would put him in her world. And he had tried to explain that to her, but she wouldn't listen.
He sighed. He wasn't her asset anymore, damn it. What more did she need? He was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be enough for Sarah Walker.
He was still sitting there, staring at nothing, when Casey came in. Chuck felt the older man's gaze on him for a moment, and then he grunted and shook his head, beginning to peeling the bandage off of his face from where he'd been struck the night before. But as he grabbed a fresh bandage to replace it, Chuck caught sight of the horrific welt on Casey's face, an imprint, a pattern there...from the ring Casey's attacker had been wearing.
Chuck flashed.
He shook his head and jumped to his feet. This was his chance to prove to her he could do this.
"I know where they are," Chuck proclaimed.
Casey gave him a look. "Who?"
"Who? What do you mean, who? Colt! The guy who smashed you in the face last night," Chuck explained. Casey gave him a dirty look. "Yeah, I flashed on your scar. It's the emblem for their organization. They have a secret hideout downtown. Warehouse 17 on 103rd Street. We'll hop in the Herder...and the NSA agents will take care of this. You know, since Sarah isn't exactly all that happy with me right now."
Casey gave him a look. "Cool your jets, hotshot. I'll call it in, and tell Sarah."
"What do you mean call it in? There's no time! They could be on the move already!"
Casey studied him. "You know how in the past I would call you a moron, or numbnuts, or some other term?"
"Yeah," Chuck replied, confused.
"Well, I was wrong," Casey said. Chuck's mouth dropped. "Because you're a fucking moron." Chuck's mouth dropped further. Casey pointed his finger in Chuck's face walking him backwards. "You fucked up, Kid, and yeah, I mean KID. You may be the same age as Sarah, you may be smarter than her and I combined, but we know shit that you have NO IDEA about. NONE!" Casey shook his head, and began to walk away but changed his mind and charged back, making Chuck press himself against the wall. "Maybe I'm the moron. I should have INSISTED you tell her, you TALK to her. You have made her job a THOUSAND times harder. You have made her life a MILLION times harder."
"I don't know what you mean," Chuck tried.
"Cut the shit, Bartowski." Chuck's eyes widened. "For the love of God, you two are killing me with this shit and now you're fighting because you fucked up." Chuck pressed his lips together, preparing to retort. Casey widened his eyes, almost in a dare. Chuck gulped and kept his mouth shut. "She understands better than anybody what kinda hell you're going to go through, what it could do to you, how it could change you."
"I thought she liked that kind of guy," Chuck replied. "I thought she wanted someone who could be in her life and then she wouldn't be stuck in this world, my world."
Casey stared at him like he had just said the dumbest thing in the world. "You are a dumbass if I ever met one." He was nearly growling. "Who did she stay with when she had the choice?" Chuck looked away. Casey poked him in the chest so he looked back at him again. "You need to cool your jets and listen to Sarah and I. She ain't looking for James Bond, 'cause if she was, she wouldn't be goin' after you."
Chuck just glared at him.
He growled. "I don't know what I did, or what sins I'm paying for that I'm the one who has to explain this to you…" He shook his head and stared at Chuck, making him gulp. "If she didn't care do you think she would'a reacted that way?" Chuck blinked. "Who knows what you're going to have to go through better than she does?"
"You think I've always been like this?" Chuck wasn't really sure if Casey was asking for the honest to God truth and it must've shown on his face because Casey grunted. "Fine, do you think she's always been like this?" Chuck didn't know what 'this' meant, though, at least not when it came to Agent Sarah Walker. All he could think of was that spy mask of hers. Was there a time when she hadn't felt the need to cover up her emotions, to protect herself from being vulnerable? He assumed there was. And it made his chest hurt.
But then he thought of the hurtful things she'd said, the anger he felt coming out of her and slamming into him, right between the eyes. In the worst way. "But that reaction? The things she said to me…?"
Casey shook his head. "What was your reaction when I first told you? How long have you had to process it? And how much about this life do you really know?" Casey widened his eyes and tilted his head. "Hm?"
Chuck worked his jaw, allowing himself to take what Casey said in. "You...you opened the door to the NSA thing, you pushed me through it."
"Nah, no I didn't. The General opened it and gave you incentive to go through it. I was standing here ready to back you up no matter what you did. But I also told you not to keep it from Walker when you made your choice, didn't I?" Casey huffed. "Whatever. This kept you out of a bunker. But you can understand why Sarah'd be as upset as she was, why she reacted that way."
Chuck got the message loud and clear. Though he knew he should've gotten it before. He'd just been too hurt and stunned by Sarah's intensity, the fury. Now that he'd gotten a bit of space and a pep talk from Casey in the only way the NSA agent knew how, he suspected, Chuck was starting to realize that Sarah's reaction the night before was a result of concern, real and pure worry. She was worried about him. Scared for his safety.
"Anyway, I'm sure she knows deep down you did the only thing you could, but you threw it all at her in a shitty way. There was a reason I wanted you to start talking to her weeks ago about this. But you had to do it your way, and I let you. That was my bad. That's why I let Walker chew my ass out last night, and I'm sure she's going to finish me off some more later."
"I'm sorry," Chuck said softly. Casey stepped back with a nod. "I'm in over my head, aren't I?"
"Yeah, kid, you are, but we got you." He paused. "If you fall, we got you."
"Casey, I know you do, but...I'm not so sure about Sarah anymore."
Casey gave him a serious look. "Then you're just as much of a moron as I always say you are."
Chuck frowned deeply.
Casey continued. "I'm going to go tell Walker about your flash, and we'll go take care of this. Then we'll all convene with Beckman afterwards."
Chuck nodded, and headed toward the Nerd Herd Desk, defeated.
He hadn't told Sarah the truth, he hadn't talked to her about it, and the way he'd chosen to do it was such a serious mistake. He owned that, even as the thought of telling her had sent a stark feeling of inadequacy and inferiority through him every time he thought he might finally lay it out on the table.
Either way, he knew joining the NSA was the right thing to do. No matter what she said about it. And maybe that was why he should've just bitten the bullet and done it right off the bat.
"Christ, Bartowski, come on," Casey grumbled before Chuck even got to the door of the break room. He spun to give Casey a wide-eyed look. "We'll go tell her together."
"I think I'm actually, um...Uh, I'm good at the desk," Chuck replied. The thought of facing her at this moment, seeing that horribly upset look on her face, the anger...It made him feel a little ill inside. And he didn't want to make things worse. But Casey clamped his hand on Chuck's shoulder. "On second thought," Chuck mumbled. "I am the junior agent so I'll do what you say."
Casey walked Chuck over to the Orange Orange. He was one part relieved she was there since he hadn't seen her since the date ended...badly, and one part wrecked upon seeing the look on her face.
"The Junior Agent flashed," Casey said to her. She glared at him hard, earning an uncomfortable shrug. He seemed to decide it best for him to get out of there as quickly as possible then, and he wordlessly walked through the back door of the Orange Orange, leaving Chuck alone with Sarah.
She stared at him, and he held her gaze. "Hey," he breathed, not looking away for even a moment. She gave a slight nod, her displeasure clear for him to see. "I know you're very clearly mad at me-"
"Not now, Chuck. Not now." He nodded and she took a deep breath. "I don't want to talk to you right now. Not until I cool off. I'm really angry."
"You are gonna cool off though...eventually...right?"
She never answered and when Casey came through the back door, she finally diverted her gaze.
He couldn't help himself. "What-what's back there?"
"Well, like the sign says, yogurt and fun," Casey quipped. Chuck gave him a look. "Before you start, you aren't coming."
Chuck drew up. He needed to show her he could do this. He needed in on this mission. He HAD to fix this. "Oh, so it was okay to bring me in the past when I was an asset, but now I'm not allowed?"
"You're not a real spy," Sarah said to him. He felt the rug yanked out from under him. He was in hell. He was no longer an asset, and he wasn't a spy. "Yet," she added. Hurt flashed across her face, and then her mask washed over her face again, hiding whatever was there. "We will have a tactical team meeting us at the location that you gave Casey."
Casey watched Sarah leave and turned to Chuck. "We'll take down Colt and find the cipher, and you go back to work. That's an order. Agent Carmichael is sitting this one out." He got to the door and paused before he opened it. "I'm doing this for you, so she won't shoot you."
"She wouldn't shoot me," Chuck replied.
Casey gave him a look. "Wanna bet on that?" he asked, and then he was gone. Chuck thought for a minute. No...no, he didn't want to bet on that.
}o{
Sarah drove the car in silence. It wasn't unusual for them not to talk in the car, but this time there was tension.
"Should we do this before we get there?" Casey asked, ending the silence. She glanced over at him and shrugged. "Everything you said to him was right." She turned her head, stunned, remembered she was driving, and turned back toward the road. "I told his ass over and over to tell you."
"Why, Casey?" she asked, frustration spilling from her. "Why would you let him go down that road?"
"Two reasons." Sarah gripped the steering wheel hard and listened. "Graham's up to something, Sarah, and you know it." She couldn't say he was wrong. "Kid's been shit on, there's no getting around that, and this was the way to make the best we could out of the situation. Yeah, he's romanticized the life, but he's been on the CIA's radar before all of this. Don't forget that." There was complete truth in what Casey was saying. "Pulling him into the NSA protects him from the CIA. He accepted under the condition that we promised he'd keep me and you. That was part of the deal." She squirmed a little bit. He paused and took a deep breath. "And you know damn well what the second part of his decision was."
There it was. He just laid it out on a silver platter. If they were both honest, this was probably the first reason, the biggest reason.
"I need to say this, Walker," Casey began.
"I swear to God, if there is any food innuendo I will shoot your kneecap."
"You're both fucking morons." She turned slowly to look at him. "For Christ's sake, Walker, you two have danced around this thing for six months. Do you know how many times I almost shoved you two in a room and told you to take care of the problem?"
"That wouldn't have fixed the problem, Casey," she nearly snarled.
"Oh, I know, you went and fell in love."
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" She pulled back immediately upon finding her voice so loud and half-desperate. It was embarrassing. She was ashamed. "Casey," she said softly then. "I can't...we don't-"
"Save it, Walker," Casey muttered, interrupting her. "He fucked up, but he's not the first one in this weird dance you two are doing to step on toes." She gave him a weirded out look and he corrected himself. "This...relationship."
"We don't have a relationship," she countered. She pulled the car up to the building, and turned to him, choking back all the emotion within her. "We don't."
"Walker, you don't believe that for a damn second. And no one else does either. Come on, let's do our job." Casey got out of the car and met with the TAC team. They stormed the building, Sarah on auto-pilot.
He had done it for her, because he thought they could be together. Didn't he understand he deserved better? Didn't he understand she'd bring him nothing but pain? It wasn't like there wasn't any precedent there. She'd already brought him enough pain. They'd brought each other pain. What made him think this would be different?
"No one's here," Casey said to her, pulling her out of her thoughts.
"Casey...the flashes…sometimes they might be wrong..."
Casey shook his head. "He could have been right and they've moved on."
Sarah's eyes widened and they both ran back to the car.
}o{
Chuck walked into the Buy More, immediately seeing that everyone was running around. Emmett had apparently cracked the whip. Chuck wondered why he hadn't bothered him and Casey, but he didn't care enough to ask.
He felt a slimy presence beside him. "Bartowski," Emmett seem to purr like a toxic eel. "Computer emergency." Chuck turned to him. "We just got a call for Nerd Herd help. They said they got a recommendation for you."
He really didn't want to go in case Sarah and Casey needed him. "Can I send someone else or did they ask for me specifically?"
"Charles, when someone asks for you, we give them you, because you are the best of the Nerd Herd," Emmett said with a saccharine smile on his face. Chuck felt a little violated.
"Got it," Chuck said, went and got his paperwork, and headed out to the Nerd Herder.
Five minutes later found him at his destination. And honestly, he was a little glad if he was honest. This was something he was good at, something easy, something that meant he wouldn't just be at the stupid desk twiddling his fingers.
But as he got inside, he looked around, wondering why he was called to what looked to be an abandoned building. "Guess they're repurposing it," he said with a shrug. "Buy More Nerd Herd. Hello. I'm here about the…" He paused as the door open and he saw Colt. "Computer... Emergency."
"Hello, Chuck. Come on in," Colt told him.
"You know, I'm feeling a bad case of food poisoning coming on from last night's dinner," Chuck began. "Maybe that's why that restaurant was so empty. Everyone who ate there had explosive diarrhea that came on later...hours later."
"Uh huh," Colt muttered, grabbed Chuck and pulled him inside. Colt's men surrounded him. Colt went to check on something and then walked back up to Chuck.
"So, uh, what-what, uh, seems to be your computer problem?" Chuck asked, realizing he was in way over his head.
"Here's the problem, Chuck. You saw my face and you heard my voice." Colt took off his coat.
"That's not a problem," Chuck replied quickly. He was an agent, he could get out of this, but as Casey said, he needed to use his brain. "That's not a problem at all. I forget things all the time. Ask my sister; I forgot her birthday. I forget my social security number. Just anything, ask me, I'll forget it." He watched Colt who appeared to be doing stretches. "What exactly are you doing?"
"I'm stretching, getting limber," Colt replied.
Oh God... "Why are you doing that?" Maybe they were going to have a video game contest. Yeah, that was it.
"So I won't pull a muscle when I break your neck," Colt replied. At that moment, Chuck wished for anything to save him, even explosive diarrhea. "Maybe you should get limber, too." This was it. He was going to-
The cipher. There it was. His for the taking. He wanted to be an agent. Her words rang in his head. You get cornered by a guy built like a tank? Figure it the fuck out! That's what you do when you're a spy.
He was a spy….she had asked him at the skating rink for his ideas. She knew he could do this...she just didn't want him to. If he died right now, he would be alone, but worse than that, he would have made Sarah's fears come true. He was a goddamn spy and he had an idea. A crazy ass idea, but sometimes crazy was all you had. He turned around and started toward the window.
"Where you going? There's nobody here to help you." Chuck stared out the window, the plan slowly forming in his head. It was batshit crazy, he knew. "Oh, your friends, that's right. They're next on my to do list." Yeah, fuck that, he wasn't touching Sarah. Resolve he didn't know he possessed coursed through him. "See, you walked into a trap, Chuck... if that is your real name."
Go big or go home, right? He was doing this to save his life...he was doing this to prove to Sarah he could. He turned around slowly, an amused grin on his face. He began to walk toward Colt.
"My name is Charles Carmichael. I'm a NSA agent, and this is my trap." Colt began to chuckle. "I don't think you gentlemen realize the gravity of the predicament that you're in. See, that phone call you made to the Buy More? Yeah, we traced that. Your compound is currently surrounded by twenty-three infantry troopers, sixteen snipers, seven heavy gunners, four demolitions experts, and enough ammunition to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger. You're outmatched and you're outgunned. Those peashooters you're holding might as well be sharp sticks and strong language."
Two of his men raced to the window to check. "Nothing there, boss. Looks clear," they reported. Chuck stared at the cipher. He was walking out of here with the cipher, and Colt wasn't touching Casey or Sarah.
"Good try, Chuck," Colt said highly amused.
Chuck smirked at him. "Of course you don't see anyone. Who do you think we are-the CIA?" Sarah was going to kill him for that… Well, after she killed him for all the other things she had on her list to kill him for. "The only thing you're going to see is a muzzle flash, followed by an e-ticket straight to Hell. So make the smart choice and... Why don't you hand over the cipher?" Colt cracked his neck and headed toward Chuck, tired of games. "Wait, w-w-wa-wai-wait, wait, wait." Chuck called Morgan, putting it on speaker phone. "I think that, uh... I think that you might want to hear this."
"Hey, Chuck," Morgan answered.
"Hey, Morgan," Chuck replied calmly, looking Colt in the eye. "Morgan, I'd like you to tell me the exact specs for the team surrounding the compound."
"The whole shebang?" he and Colt heard Morgan ask.
"The whole shebang," Chuck replied, not breaking eye contact with Colt, and Chuck swore he saw Colt flinch.
"Yes, sir," they heard over the phone. "We have twenty-three infantry troopers, sixteen snipers, seven heavy gunners, and four demolitions experts." Colt looked nervous and Chuck could feel the worry in his men. "I should tell you I got a little impatient and we took out one of the sentries. Don't worry, it was a head shot. He couldn't warn his buddies. It was awesome, man, you should have seen it. His head exploded like a watermelon."
Colt's men were at the windows trying to see if they could spot anything at all. "Thanks, Morgan," Chuck said calmly, hanging up. The men at the windows were saying something about Fritz who was either dead or in the bathroom. Colt was frazzled. "One more time. Give up."
Colt snapped. "He's either lying, or he's crazy." He walked past Chuck. "Check everywhere," he said from the window. "Don't let anything get past you." Chuck fastened his eyes on the cipher and lunged, grabbing it and taking off. He ran through the abandoned building as fast as he could. This was going to work, this was going to work… And then Colt was there, right in front of him. The hulking mass of human reached out to grab him.
"Oh, hey!" he said, making Colt paused. "Don't move." Colt raised an eyebrow. "Please, don't move." Colt shoved him and he flew through a window. He could hear Sarah in his ear now. You get cornered by a guy built like a tank? Figure it the fuck out! That's what you do when you're a spy.
He was out of ideas as Colt finally grabbed him. "Hey, no." Colt dragged him over to the ledge, then dangled him off the edge, holding him by his ankle and nothing else. Chuck screamed.
"Hand it over," Colt snarled.
"What'll you do if I give it to you?"
"To be honest, I'm gonna drop you."
Damn it, he had to figure this out. "See, thi-this is what I'm talking about. We've got to work on your negotiating skills. How about this? How about you pull me back up and we just discuss this like two rational adults?"
"You know what?" Colt began.
"Freeze!"
That was Sarah. Chuck had figured it out. Stay alive until his partner got here. And then he spotted the look on Colt's face, clear as day… OH, SHIT.
"It ain't worth it," Colt groused, and he let him go.
}o{
"I'll check next floor up. You take the roof," Casey said, slamming the door out of the stairwell open with his shoulder and rushing in.
She didn't pause for even a second, instead racing up the stairs all the way to the roof.
For once, Chuck had done what they'd told him to do. He'd stayed at the Buy More until he was tricked to make a house call for the Nerd Herd. And still, he was in incredibly deep trouble. If this was what happened when he was just an asset… God, how much worse was it going to be when they were no longer telling him to stay in the car, to stay at the Buy More? When he charged into these situations alongside them?
She willed that thought away and burst onto the roof, spinning on her heel every which way to look for Colt and Chuck, to look for any sign that they still had Chuck here somewhere.
But then she saw them. Or rather, she saw Colt. The way he stood at the edge of the roof, his hands out in front of him… She had bone-deep sick feeling that nearly had her staggering. He was holding Chuck above his death. She heard his voice drift over the rooftop, like he was threatening Chuck, but she couldn't hear what he was saying.
It didn't matter. She had her gun up, cocked, immediately. Without hesitation. "FREEZE!" she yelled. She ran through every possible plan in her head to get Colt to carefully set Chuck back down on the roof, turn himself in. She couldn't shoot him. He'd let go of Chuck if she did. Chuck's life depended on what she did here as she took a step closer, her heart hammering in her chest.
She saw Colt turn to look at her over his shoulder. She saw it in his face before he did it. In just three short seconds, he'd weighed his options, and decided there was no reason to keep the man he was dangling over imminent doom alive.
Her blood went cold. It froze in her veins. She stepped forward, her voice caught in her throat as she saw him turn back...and just like that, he opened his hands and the feet and legs she could just barely see around Colt's body disappeared from view.
She screamed. She heard her own scream like it was an out of body experience, like she was standing off to the side watching this happen. And he was gone. After all of these months of promising him she'd keep him safe, get him his old life back, he was gone.
Her lungs felt as if they'd collapsed in on themselves. No matter how deeply she tried to breathe, she couldn't. Her feet were rooted to the roof, her arms lowering the gun without her even telling them to. She just stared at the space where he'd been. As if she could look hard enough and he'd appear there again.
She was lost.
And then her watery focus switched over to the man strolling towards her slowly as if what he'd just done was nothing to him. She held onto her gun tighter, her hands shaking, trying to keep another wail inside of her chest as she willed her legs not to collapse beneath her. He was smirking, as if he hadn't just killed the most important thing on this entire planet. No, as if he'd almost relished in letting Chuck go. He'd let him go like he was a candy wrapper hovering over a trash can. He was walking away from what he'd done not realizing, or caring, that he'd just extinguished a light. Not just in the world but inside of her.
And for the first time since her career began, she knew what it felt like to want to just give up. Surrender. Lay down her gun and let life finally strike her down the way it wanted to.
But she didn't. She kept her feet.
Because she heard Colt's voice carry across the rooftop: "Your boyfriend's dead now, baby. What you gonna do?" he taunted.
It wasn't the taunting that made her hold onto her gun, grit her teeth, and stare at him with the fires of ten thousand hells. It was a flash of a memory from six months earlier, something she wouldn't ever forget for as long as she lived. Sitting on the beach next to Chuck Bartowski-the old friend of her ex-partner and sometime-lover Bryce Larkin who had driven her past the DMV on the way to dinner so she'd know where it was in the future. He'd just had the rug pulled out from under him in the worst God damned way she could imagine, and he was looking at a future that probably sounded a lot like being in prison with an added element of danger, having to lie to the people he loved. She'd told him in that moment that she was going to protect him. She'd told him to trust her. And in spite of how scared he must've been, how angry and confused, he'd smiled for her as best he could. The look on his face in that moment had left her reeling. As if he must've understood how frustrating it must be for her, having to stay in Burbank and watch over him like he was some insanely old crown jewels in a museum. As if he was sharing some sort of moment with her, commiserating.
This mother fucker had taken that out of the world.
And she was going to use every last fiber of her being to make sure she took him out of it, too.
She bit back a sudden sob, her body betraying her as her chest ached with loss, and he closed in on her fast enough that she wasn't able to pull the trigger in time before he blocked her arm away and went in for a hard punch to her face. She staggered back with an outcry, the gun flying out of her hand.
But she recuperated fast, using her momentum from being hit to spin and crack her leg down against his back as hard as she could. He fell to his knees with a grunt and she let out a yell in pure, unfiltered rage, jumping onto his back and rounding his throat with her arm, yanking until she heard him choking. His fingers grappled at her arm as she yanked again, breathing harshly through gritted teeth. She turned her face. There were a million things she wanted to say before he died, holding tight as he continued to struggle. But she didn't say any of them, instead blinking at the tears that were threatening to fall. Nothing was enough. There was nothing that would ever be enough for this piece of shit to hear that would make up for the loss of…
She felt a fist grab her hair at the back of her head and yank then and she cried out, loosing her grip around his neck just enough for him to be able to flip her over his head.
Sarah landed hard on her back, gasping for breath as it surged out of her lungs and rolling onto her stomach, coughing.
And then she saw his boots right next to her face as he leaned down and grabbed her by her hair again, hoisting her to her feet as she yelled in pain. She pulled away enough to thrust her boot at his chest, but he caught it, smirking.
Without hesitating, she used that foot cradled in his hands as leverage and leapt up to bring her free leg around and kick him right across his temple. When he came up from it, bleeding from a gash above his eyebrow, she moved in and clapped her hands on either side of his head, right over his ears. Hard.
Colt went down to his knees, holding his ears, as she brought her boot down against the back of his head and sent him rolling to the ground in pain.
But then he was on his feet again, coming at her. She went in for a punch to his side, but he caught her arm against him and brought his right hand up to grab her by the throat. With no warning, she was hoisted off of her feet, hanging limp from his grip on her throat, choking fast as she kicked, trying to find some sort of hold against his body. His shoulder maybe? Head? But he just kept squeezing. She was fading fast.
Sarah grabbed him by his wrist with both hands, and swung one foot over and down on his arm, hearing and seeing it snap awkwardly from the impact.
She barely landed on her feet, staggering back a few inches and holding her throat, choking for breath as he held his arm, squirming on the ground, trying to get up again even though she'd maybe just broken his arm.
But as she approached to finish the job, he swung a foot out and swiped her legs. She hit her head on the way down and saw the stars flicker through her vision.
As she tried to blink them away, she saw him towering over her, blocking the sun. "Ya God damn bitch," he growled. But before he could do anything else, she kicked both of her legs out, one against his leg, the other slamming into his groin. Hard.
And as he leaned down with a cry of pain, his face made the perfect target, she thought, and she cracked her boot into his face.
She rolled onto her knees and hunched over, still choking, trying to get her breath, in an insane amount of pain but knowing he was a lot worse off. She glanced over and saw he was still holding his crotch in agony, his other arm limp at his side as he just laid there.
She heard Casey approaching before he even said anything and she nearly lost any semblance of control she'd had. Because now that her partner had arrived, the reality of everything crashed down around her. She didn't have to keep her head clear to stay alive. Casey had her back. And she crunched forward, hunching in on herself, close to letting the fury and debilitating misery overtake her.
"Enough already," Casey grunted, pointing a gun at Colt as the man finally climbed to his feet, slowly, gingerly, his good hand clutching the arm she'd broken.
"Awww, c'mon. You know you gotta put that gun down…"
Shit. She looked up and saw they weren't alone. Colt's men had followed them here. Or maybe they'd hidden this whole time, waiting for their boss's stupid ass one-liner before they revealed themselves.
"You're surrounded," Colt boomed. "Meet the rest of my men."
She met Casey's gaze and let out a miserably exhausted sigh. They'd failed Chuck and now they were done, too.
Colt was mid-laugh, making everything inside of her scream out for the chance to feel his pulse stop under her fingers as she strangled him to death, even as she choked back threatening anguish, when she heard the door to the roof burst open behind her.
"'Scuse me!"
Her heart stopped. She didn't dare look…
"'Scuse me, hi!"
She got to her knees and turned to look, pushing her hair out of her face and just staring. The air came back into her lungs as she saw Chuck rush out onto the roof with a stream of special ops following him out, their guns trained on Colt's men immediately.
"Sorry to interrupt...your little, uh, bad guy who thinks he's won speech there, uh, Mr. Colt," Chuck drawled, closing the distance, squinting into the sun awkwardly and lifting his finger. "But, uh, I just wanted you to meet my team." She slowly climbed to her feet, just staring at him numbly, not knowing how to even react. When she'd been so sure, everything in her crumbling… "Tell me somethin', do you find them imposing?" His tie was picked up by the wind and it smacked him in the face but he pretended it hadn't happened and kept going. "Go 'head; you can be honest. I was going for imposing."
She pushed her hair out of her face again and gasped out his name. He finally switched his gaze to her, looking her right in the eyes, and it was like a punch to her gut.
"Carmichael," he said, shrugging a bit. She wasn't listening, instead just gaping, unable to keep the start of a smile from her face. "Agent Carmichael."
She was listening again all of a sudden. Agent Carmichael.
Fuck.
"Maybe you can go ahead and put your weapons down," he was commanding Colt's men, this whole situation seeming to go to his head. There was a mess inside of her, soul-deep relief that he was alive, mixed with the absolute agony of thinking he'd been dead, mixed with exhaustion and frustration that he was standing here with his head as big as California like he was already some sort of damn agent. She was torn between wanting to hold him close and feel him living against her fingertips...and flat-out hitting him across his smug face. The absolute jerk.
"I said put your weapons down!" he yelled. And as they finally moved to listen to him, putting their weapons on the ground and holding their hands up, that smugness increased. He'd somehow survived being dropped off the roof of a building and brought the spec-ops up, and he really thought this was all that easy. He'd missed her nearly being strangled to death.
"Oh, there ya go," he snarked. "And then, the, uh, the hands go up...to imply that your hands are empty…"
Casey moved to cuff Colt as the bigger man smirked, nodding his head at Chuck. "Your boss. Carmichael." Oh, Jesus. "He's good."
Had Chuck heard it? She turned on her heel and saw that he had. He was standing there with his arms crossed. The look on his face dimmed a bit and he became a lot more serious as she closed the distance between them and pushed her hair out of her face again. "Don't-Don't worry, I-I'm fine," he said quickly.
She wasn't even going to give him that much at the moment. "Do you have the cipher? Please tell me you have the cipher," she said, getting right to business.
Chuck dug in his pocket then and pulled it out. "Of course I have it," he chirped, wiggling it between them. She let out a sigh in relief, her hands on her head. "It's me!"
He was amazing. She had so much battling in her mind, in her heart. Everything fighting to come out on top. She was in pain in so many places, in so many ways. She was annoyed. She was relieved. She was impressed, and then mostly just annoyed. Confused…
And as Casey walked past them with Colt in front of him, he snatched the cipher out of Chuck's fingers, and Sarah decided to follow without saying another word to Chuck.
Because more than anything, what just happened had put everything into perspective for her in a way nothing else could have quite so well.
He'd nearly died. She thought he had died. Because that was what happened to intelligence agents. That was what happened in the CIA, the NSA, the FBI… Agents died. She'd had partners die on the job, too many to count. She'd watched it happen in front of her eyes in at least one instance… And she hadn't been able to do anything to stop it.
As she took the stairs two at a time, not knowing where she was going to go or what she was going to do once she got to the bottom of the stairs, she was replacing that agent with Chuck. She tried not to, but she was. And God damn him for being up there playing games, getting cocky… The spy life was nothing like what he thought it was, it was nothing like what he'd witnessed so far in this operation. Operation Bartowski, the Intersect Project…? None of this reflected the reality of what it was like out there. And he had no fucking clue what he was getting himself into.
Anyone who thought it wouldn't screw him up once he actually saw the reality of the spy world didn't know him at all. They'd never seen him-an admitted arachnophobe-make scared sounds and whimper as he picked up a large spider from his bedroom floor with a piece of printer paper and toss it out of his window instead of just smashing it under his shoe, the way she had. They'd never felt his arms around them, how safe and warm and cared for it made you feel, how tender and gentle but strong at the same time it was… the way she had.
A tiny bit of control and power on the rooftop had made him into a smug version of himself. And while it was cute to see him do that over beating Morgan at some shooting video game, it had left something inside of her feeling raw in a bad way. The worst way.
God help Chuck Bartowski-Agent Carmichael-if he thought this was all a game. Because she and Casey wouldn't be able to help him. He'd be on his own. And he wouldn't make it.
A/N: Please leave us reviews. Let us know what you think. Thanks for reading! Hopefully the next chapter is out soon. We're trying.
-SC and DC
