A/N: I am so sorry for posting this chapter so long after the last one! I've been really busy at work! I was supposed to start off the fourth year with this one but instead I added some light-hearted content before going into the next year, it's a full on bonus Dramione chapter. I feel like, in a way, one thing I didn't do in the original was to show in more depth the way Draco and Hermione got closer and closer, so for this version I've been adding more Dramione moments. I hope you'll like it. I've already started working on the next chapter so I hope I'll be able to post it soon!
By the way, I never asked you guys if the formatting of the story is bothering you. If you'd rather have AO3's default formatting I can go back and change the previous chapters no problem !
"Are you alright Hermione? You didn't hear me when I called," Ginny said as she walked in her friend's dorm just before Hermione could close the door. At least, she had a smile on her face, which reassured Ginny. She couldn't wait to know what happened and for a moment, she thought everything went terribly wrong. However, it appeared clear the other girl was just in a daze.
Of course she was alright. She had just spent her afternoon in the library with Draco. They had kissed, held hands, talked… felt better than they had in days. It was still hard to believe. She almost regretted not having talked to him about any of it before — be it her feelings or his secret —, and yet she knew that just like he said, if she had, they might not have been sitting next to each other that day. Every action had consequences but she wished any action would have led to the moment they kissed for the first time. Her stomach was still twisting around in a delectable sensation whenever she thought of it and she grinned at Ginny, her cheeks going pink.
The air was clean and the only secret there was left was a new one, their own one: their relationship. They didn't really have to fix rules to know that they couldn't tell anyone for now. It was a bit annoying, but Hermione couldn't betray Draco this way. She wasn't at risk of losing everything. Well… Not everything, but maybe everyone. How would her friends react? No one would understand. It was better to keep it all to themselves for now. Themselves, and Ginny. Because there was no way Hermione would lie to her after everything that year. She wouldn't be able to look her in the eye and fake disappointment.
"Once again, I have to ask you to —"
Ginny smiled and mimed zipping her lips. "So he's not mad at you or anything?"
Hermione was trying to keep some of her grin hidden, though it wasn't easy. She could feel her heart racing again and she was getting weak in the knees because of this surge of excitement. She approached Ginny and grabbed her hands. "He's not mad at all. On the contrary… You were right, we were able to talk about everything and…" She felt Ginny press her hands and when she caught her glance, it was as if the redhead already knew what was coming.
"He kissed me," she said so quietly she barely heard herself.
"WHAT?" Ginny exclaimed before she clasped a hand on her mouth. Hermione laughed, nodded, and Ginny dragged her to her bed. "Tell me everything!"
And so Hermione did. Well, almost. She couldn't tell her everything exactly. She wanted to keep some of the magic to herself. It was their secret moment to share, and she wouldn't blab her mouth about the way he managed to confess his feelings, or even about what he told her regarding his condition. She stayed vague enough and gave away enough for Ginny to be satisfied.
"I can't believe it…" Ginny said quietly, still holding Hermione's hand tightly. She wasn't just happy about how things had worked out for her friend. She had to say, she was also beaming with pride. Being the only one in the known was doing wonders for her mood.
"I'm still trying to figure out if I'm awake," Hermione giggled.
"Oh, you are," Ginny said and she pinched her friend on the side, making her laugh more.
Hermione finally let go of Ginny's hands so she could press her own against her cheeks. She was hot in the face and she didn't know how she would be able to walk around school without anyone noticing that something was going on with her. If she was blushing at the mere thought of Draco, what would become of her?
"He wants me to meet him back there again tomorrow. We've only got a few days left so…" Her smile faltered slightly. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with him, but it would be difficult. "I can't keep telling Ron and Harry that I'm going to the library every day now that classes are over… They'll think it's weird."
She was mostly afraid they'd want to explore more of the castle with the map. If they saw her and Draco together… what a disaster it would be.
"I'll help you out," Ginny said, not even thinking twice about it.
"I don't want you to get in trouble if they find out. I don't want Ron to be mad at you."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "So what if he is? It'll pass. You know he can't stay mad at either of us too long."
"Alright then," Hermione conceded. "Thank you. For everything you do. Even when you just listen, I don't know if you realize what it means to me."
Ginny couldn't answer right away. There was this familiar lump in her throat. It always took her by surprise when her thoughts meandered too close to discomforting memories of her second year. It was funny — or eerie, because it wouldn't always affect her that way. And yet, this time, she felt close to tears again in just a split second. She slowly shook her head.
"You're wrong," she said quietly, "I know exactly what it means."
Hermione tried to give her the most comforting smile she could.
"You've done the same for me. You've listened to me when I needed someone to listen. You understood that I couldn't talk about it with my parents, or my brothers. Not because I don't trust them, not because I'm afraid they'll judge me, or mock me, or anything else. I know they'll always be there for me. I just… It's just not what I need. And you felt it, and you were there, and you've always kept everything to yourself. I completely understand the way you feel."
"And you know I'll always be there if you need to talk about anything."
"So will I."
When they went back down the common room, around half an hour later, the girls were still giggling together. And when Ron and Harry asked what it was about, they knowingly laughed together and ignored the question to whisper to one another.
.
Hermione was back in the library the next day, nervous about being caught, afraid her friends would get suspicious. She couldn't lie to them eternally, or refuse to go to Hogsmeade again and again and again. She'd have to go the next day. Faking a big stomachache was fine for that day, and Ginny had sold it really well to Ron and Harry but it would soon be a bit weird.
She had waited for everyone to be gone. Ginny had gone back up to the dorm to let her know the coast was clear. Only then did Hermione get out of bed to get dressed and leave the Gryffindor Tower. And now, she was anxiously waiting for her… boyfriend.
She bit her lower lip at the thought.
"Pst." Surprised, she turned quickly to the sound she just heard. She saw Draco from afar. He was almost completely hidden behind a shelf. She smiled and hesitated. Was he being playful? Should she get up or was he coming to her? She glanced around. Was he waiting for her to confirm that no one was around? The boy smirked before he turned around to leave. She quickly stood and followed him quietly out of the library. In the hallway, she looked right, then left, and she spotted his blonde head as he walked away, crossing paths with a few students.
She took a deep breath and followed, somewhat discreetly. Maybe she was being paranoid but she was scared anyone she saw would know she was on Draco's trail, no matter the distance she was keeping between them.
They got back down the castle, Draco never looking over his shoulder, certain she was behind him. Hermione soon recognized the path he was taking. She crossed the empty courtyard leading to the Clock Tower, in which Draco was disappearing from view, and she sped up. She stopped at the entrance and looked up the flights of wooden stairs. She got a glimpse of Draco's hand on the banister, of his hair moving with each step, but she couldn't see much more of him. So she hurried up and climbed behind him. Why he made her go down the entire castle to just walk back up at least the third floor she didn't know, but her instinct told her he was having fun with this little game and walking around the other students with this big secret. Hermione couldn't lie, it was pretty exciting.
She reached the pendulum swinging on the third floor, then the first landing on the fourth floor. Slightly panting, she looked around. The corridor led to the Hospital Wing, then to the rest of the castle, and there was no way Draco had stopped there. She walked up calmly this time, ready to see Draco on the second landing. She stopped up the stairs, looked at the large gold and copper bells and at the corridor leading to the rest of the castle.
"Draco," she whispered. Nothing.
She walked the opposite way, got closer to the large pendulum and the handrail around it, and she looked down at the ground so low under her feet. She observed the movement of the pendulum above the stones for a moment, its moving shadow casted by the sunlight coming in the tower through its large open doors and all the windows decorating the walls. When she looked up again, just as the pendulum moved to the right, to her side, she saw him on the opposite side of the railing. He was smiling playfully and so did she. The pendulum swung to the left and she came back into view. The pendulum swung to the right again and Draco was gone, because he walked with it to her side. Now standing face to face, the pendulum slowly swinging between them, they stared for a few moments.
"Granger," he finally said, and she sounded like a delicacy to his lips. "You made it."
"I wouldn't have missed it," she dared say. What if she sounded corny? She couldn't keep it all to herself and swallow back her feelings. Besides, given his smile, she didn't have to be afraid of letting her thoughts slip out. They both walked around the railing, each with one hand on it, until they faced each other next to the pendulum. Draco let his hand slip on the rail until it met Hermione's and they interlaced their fingers, suddenly both shy. Yet, they both moved closer to one another and exchanged a soft kiss. They'd have it last forever if it was up to them, but they broke the contact after a few seconds.
Then, Hermione let Draco lead her as he got their hands off the rail. He gently pulled her with him and they walked behind the large beams keeping this whole place together. When they arrived near the opposite wall, on which was a very large ox-eye window, Hermione noticed the dark cloak on the wooden floor, so that they could sit, and she smiled at his thoughtfulness. When did he plan this exactly? When did he think of this place? She pulled on his arm so he would stop and as soon as he faced her, she pecked his lips as a thank you.
He looked around, awkward and cheeks contrasting with his pale face. They had to get used to it.
"The noise might be a bit much," he finally said, nodding at the pendulum and then pointing at the bells with his free hand, "but… it's discreet enough."
She nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing, and she didn't even need to be asked. She sat down on the cloak, looking around at the large space again, and Draco took place next to her, his back against the wall.
"Did you know this place before?" She asked.
"Are you asking if I ever brought somebody else here?" Given his smirk, he was very amused by the idea.
"That's just wishful thinking on your part," Hermione said playfully though Pansy crossed her mind. She didn't say anything of it, even if her shifty gaze spoke in her place.
"I don't know if you've noticed, but I actually haven't got much game, though I don't like admitting it."
She chuckled. It was hard to get Draco's awkwardness out of her mind indeed. And yet… She bit her lip again as she thought of all the times he was too obviously flirting with her and she shook her head. "You've got much game, trust me," she commented, looking away as if it would hide her red cheeks.
"Well," he said and he cleared his throat, "with you maybe."
Their gazes met but they looked away almost instantly.
"Anyway, I just… thought about it yesterday. I couldn't sleep, there's just too much happening. I guess I couldn't wait to get to today," he explained. "And every since my first year, I've been using this passage to get to the hospital. It's longer, especially after those nights, but it's not really used by other students. I don't have to walk past the Great Hall or anything. So it's easier for me to sneak in. Or to just… find a place where I could just be alone."
Hermione nodded, touched by this confession. She didn't think Draco would be comfortable with mentioning things concerning his condition. Though he didn't state everything directly, it was clear enough to Hermione and she saw it as evidence of his trust. Because he was looking at the large window as he talked, Hermione got on her knees and approached the wall, her hands on the curved sill. Draco soon joined her and they both looked outside at the grounds. From this side, they could see the long wooden bridge leading to the grounds, the Whomping Willow and Hagrid's hut, as well as the Forbidden Forest and the woods surrounding the area. The lake was in view as well, and some parts of the castle.
"I'd just look at people," he said quietly, and Hermione discerned a trace of melancholy in his voice, "living their lives, unaware of what was going on at night." He shrugged and sat back down. Hermione glanced around at the grounds again before she sat too, in front of him.
"Or during the day, now," she added, taking one of his hands in hers so she would distract herlsef. It was so hard meeting his gaze, she would always blush too much. She was glad to hear him chuckle.
"So I just thought it'd be a good spot for us. And we can hear if somebody's coming and everything. Now, we've just got to find ways to get away from our friends, and voilà."
This time, she looked up, amused. "Was it easy for you?"
"Yeah, I told Pansy I still needed some rest, which isn't truly a lie, I wouldn't be up for a trip to Hogsmeade just yet. She wanted to stay with me but I told her she should go and enjoy her time with her girlfriends before the end of the year. I think she needs it, also. It's been stressful for her too. And, well, Crabbe and Goyle…" He waved his hand dismissively. Hermione wondered to which extent he actually appreciated them, but she didn't ask just yet. "What about you?"
"About that," she started, nervous. "I… might have told Ginny about us."
Draco's eyes widened in surprise but before he could ask anything, Hermione raised a hand to ask him to wait.
"She's known for a while that I've had this… tiny little… crush on you," she mumbled, looking back down at his fingers. She was still holding his hand, fiddling with them because of how nervous she was and he laughed again. She glanced and he looked too smug not to be flattered.
"And she didn't dissuade you?"
"On the contrary. She's been encouraging, quite frankly. I think she likes to think you're not that bad of a human being."
"Color me touched," Draco mumbled and it was Hermione's turn to smirk.
"So she helped me sell my own little lie to Ron and Harry. Apparently I might get sick any minute so… careful."
"How contrived," Draco commented.
"Right? She made sure they were gone, and told me when I could go."
"And she's completely fine with it?"
"Seems to be this way, yes. But if you want me to, I can organize a meeting and you can talk about it."
"Oh, please don't," Draco said through gritted teeth, clearly more nervous than annoyed by the matter.
Hermione hesitated but she couldn't tell him that Ginny also knew about his condition just yet. She didn't want him to panic. He deserved some peace.
"So, she continued, "have you got anything else planned, or are we to lazily spend the day here?"
He sat up straight with a smile and she wondered what he had in mind. He got his hand out of her grip, gently grasped her wrist and got her hand up in the air. He did the same with his free hand, and he kept three fingers up next to his head.
"Three questions each."
Curious, Hermione did the same with the hand Draco was holding up for her and he finally let go of her wrist.
"Any question?"
"Any question," he said. "That's all I've got. But, I mean, I brought a cloak and everything so haven't I done enough?"
"You exceeded every expectation indeed," Hermione joked. "So, really, any question?"
"Have you got something specific in mind?"
She shrugged. "You go first."
"Oh, alright, if you want to be mysterious."
He thought about it for a second, looking up at the ceiling, before he looked at her, visibly very amused. He put down a finger and sort of asked his question.
"The dumbest you ever felt."
Hermione laughed out loud at this unexpected demand.
"Alright, let me think about it," she said quietly as she looked back at everything and anything she had ever done. She then closed her eyes as a thought crossed her mind.
"There it is," Draco said quickly, "I want that one. Tell me."
She looked really embarrassed and she sighed. "So, last year… I secretly brewed Polyjuice potion,"—Draco's eyes grew large again and Hermione nodded, proud—"but not everything worked out as planned. While I succeeded with the potion, I made one fatal mistake when I drank it."
"Wait wait wait, hold on, what? How many rules did you have to break to make the potion? Why did you even make it? And how did you get the ingredients? Where did you—"
"You're using up all your questions."
Draco clasped his hand on his mouth and Hermione laughed. "Besides, like you said, I want to be mysterious. You're not getting the details that easily."
And she couldn't just tell him that the whole plan was about him to begin with. Not just yet, it was too soon. She had much to talk to him about, but not so fast.
"So," she continued, placing her hair behind her ears and then her palms on her thighs. She focused her gaze on the ground, a bit nervous about her revelations. "When you drink that potion, you need to drink part of the person you're turning into."
Draco grimaced.
"I picked a girl and got a hair off of her cloak. But, when I turned, I realized my mistake… It wasn't her hair."
"Did you turn into a guy?" Draco asked, bewildered and yet too eager to disguise his hilarity. However, she was the one grimacing this time.
"Ew, no, that would have been even worse," she mumbled. "No, it was one of her cat's hairs…"
Draco's mouth fell open. A realization stopped his laughter from coming out and he narrowed his eyes.
"Wait a second, Polyjuice's not meant to turn people into animals," he began, and Hermione shook her head, waiting to hear whatever he had in mind. "So you couldn't have gotten back to normal without Madam Pomfrey's help. We were in there together last year," he commented, pointing towards the flight of stairs, though it was out of sight, to indicate the Hospital downstairs. It hit Hermione and she nodded.
"A few times, probably." She had been petrified for so long, he must have been in there during that time as well. But both times she ended up in the hospital, the curtains were constantly around her bed so no one could see her. Draco must have been discreet during her time as a cat, because she never knew he was there, she had never even heard his voice. She wondered how nervous he must have been when he got to the hospital and saw that somebody else was there. "So there you have it," Hermione concluded, wanting to leave this little anecdote far, far, far away behind her. "That's the dumbest I ever felt. I stayed for a long time in the hospital and I thought I'd be stuck like that forever. A big, human-sized cat. That's stuff from nightmares."
"Can you imagine having to go back home like that?" Draco asked and this time, there was nothing to stop him from laughing out loud.
"Yeah, that was part of the problem," Hermione said quietly, pushing his shoulder so he would stop laughing.
"And the hairballs!" He exclaimed. She snorted but quickly regained composure.
"You're finding this way funnier than it actually was, stop it!"
He did try to stop, but he just couldn't.
"No wonder McGonagall likes you, cheater," he continued. He rubbed one of his eyes as he sat up straight again. He tried to contain his laughter once more, but he just couldn't stop picturing her. "Is that why you've got a cat now? You missed being one?"
"Draco!" She pleaded, though it was becoming infectious.
He had a hand on his heart when he finally calmed down. He breathed deeply a few times and Hermione knew he was just being theatrical.
"My turn," she said quickly. He raised his hands in innocence. "Are you just friends with Crabbe and Goyle because they'll protect you if you go too far with people?" She asked, putting a finger down.
"I don't need protection," he said, purposefully looking offended. But even if he wasn't, she knew he believed his words to be true. "And no. We've always been friends," he shrugged.
"You haven't really answered my question," Hermione said, tilting her head to the side. She noted that Draco looked slightly annoyed.
"But we've just always been," he repeated.
"But do you even like them is what I'm asking."
"I know," he sighed. There was another shrug. "I don't know," he mumbled. She chuckled and got a surprised look from Draco.
"How can you not know? You either like them or you don't."
"I do, then," he said quickly and she finally smiled.
"Aw, you have feelings," she teased him, approaching so she could pat his chest at heart-level. He pushed her hand away and counter-attacked her side, tickling her.
"No, don't!" She exclaimed, trying to get out of reach. He let her go but kept his hands at the ready just in case.
"They're not my best friends in the whole world," he finally explained, rolling his eyes, "and you won't catch me having actual conversations with them… They listen more than they talk, which isn't always that bad."
"What if that's how they try to fit in?" Hermione asked.
"Oh, don't do that."
"What?" She was surprised by the warning tone in his voice.
"Don't go all soft on them 'cause they're thick, or just because you like me," he said, baffled by Hermione's ability to try to find the best in people. "It's not because they don't think much that they don't do much. I've known them my whole life, Granger, believe me when I tell you that they can be just as mean as me, and evidently more brutal. They don't have to use their words."
"But are they really mean, or are they just…" She thought carefully about her words. She didn't want to compare them to Draco, and she doubted they were putting on a show to hide their true insecurities.
"They are," Draco insisted, "and I'm not—"
He couldn't continue. Hermione understood that he caught her train of thoughts and she watched as his mouth twitched.
"Well, you're not all bad," she said.
"But I'm not like you, and you shouldn't go believing otherwise."
Hermione was slightly taken aback by how convinced he sounded. She wasn't in his head, so she couldn't tell if he was right, or if she really was. What if she was trying to believe otherwise? Was she completely fooling herself about him? She couldn't be. He wouldn't be with her if he was half of what he spent his time portraying himself to be. And she wouldn't want to be with him either. Empathy, generosity and kindness came differently to everyone — and very differently depending on the value you gave those traits. She doubted Draco had ever been taught about their importance. It didn't mean it wasn't there. He had already proven to be a better person than they all thought.
"It'd be easier if I could tell you I was," he continued, "and you can't put that on my honesty either. I'd like to tell you I've never lied, but we both know that's never been the case. I can't be like you. I've thought about it lately, whenever I'd think about you and I being…" His lips turned into a thin line and he looked down. "And I just… We're not wired the same, I don't know," he mumbled. He seemed annoyed again and Hermione got what that expression on his face and that muffled tone in his voice was: frustration.
"You've more than proven to me that you're not actually the worst, you know that, right? I wouldn't be sitting here if you were that abject. No matter the reasons you've been acting this way, what I keep in mind is what you're becoming and the decisions you make, not what you were or what you did."
He glanced up at her and hoped to see a smile, but she was way serious, so he looked down again.
"We'll talk about it in a few years, when we'll have the opportunity to look at what you've become and what you've done. I'm sure you'll be surprised yourself."
He couldn't keep the smile taking shape on his face away.
"In a few years, huh? It's been a day, Granger. Am I that irresistible that you've planned our whole life ahead?"
"Well, I mean," Hermione stammered, suddenly straightening up, looking around as if the words she wanted to use were hiding behind the beams. "I'm just saying — we'll still be in school together — whatever happens — so, you know, it's just — even if it goes awry, we could still be fr— you know…"
"I know," he said quietly, his fingers reaching the sleeve of Hermione's shirt. He pulled on it so she'd approach her hand and he seized it.
"My turn," he said.
"Yeah, change the subject, why don't you," she said quietly.
"Have you ever wished you were just a Muggle?" He asked seriously. She was a bit surprised and thought about it.
"No. Of course not. It's hard sometimes when I'm home, I'll admit. My parents try their best to show interest but they don't get everything, and I can't tell them everything either. Can you imagine?"
"What, you didn't even tell them they might have gotten a pet cat earlier?"
"No, no I did not," Hermione laughed. "Also, I had to leave my friends, from school. Remember, where I went before?"
"Yeah, you also had to leave Mr. Wilson," he said dreamily, as if she had been in love with her teacher.
"You're a pain," she huffed and Draco smirked.
"Isn't that what you like about me? That I'm a bad boy?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, unimpressed. "And what a bad boy you are…"
"So, your friends. You never saw them again?"
"I do, some of them live close so during the summer I get to spend time with them, but it's not as if I saw them every day like I used to. They're growing together, so I'm out of the group, kinda."
"And what's the lie you tell them?"
"That I got into a boarding school, which isn't truly a lie. With my grades, it wasn't too surprising, and I'm sure my parents have fun telling everybody about the prestigious school I got into. I'm sure my dad was this close to tell them I got into university early, just to have his fun."
"University?" Draco asked aloud.
Hermione looked full of pity and she patted Draco's hand. "You sad, sad little wizard. You're clueless."
"Hey, come on now, just tell me about it!"
She laughed and got into a lengthy explanation about what university was and everything it could lead to for a Muggle's adult life. After a few minutes, Draco scratched his head.
"From what I'm getting, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, though I know I'm not, Muggles go to school their entire life. From when they're babies, 'till they're thirty or something."
"That's hardly their entire life," Hermione did correct, "and it's only some of them that study for that long. Besides, you can be home-schooled."
"Yeah but either way, Muggles don't live as long."
"Well, not every wizard or witch lives past the hundreds either," she said with a shrug. Amused by this hint of defensiveness in his girlfriend's attitude, Draco tilted his head to the side.
"Still," he insisted, "they don't live as long and they go to school for twice as long. What's the point of living if all you do is study?"
"No matter what you think of it, I'm starting to realize that wizards don't have much when it comes to education," Hermione continued, sounding worried. "They don't even teach us mathematics… I have to catch up during the summer…"
"Alright, now we're getting of track, let's rewind a bit because I'm pretty sure that if you ever get any power at all in the Ministry, you'll force us to go to university."
"And you'll thank me for it," she said firmly.
"Your question, quickly," he rushed her so they'd put the debate behind them with Hermione's Polyjuice anecdote.
"What's with Pansy," she asked bluntly. Taken aback, Draco's brows rose on his forehead.
"What's with Pansy?" He repeated in another tone.
"Well, you know. Is she your best friend in the whole wide world, if Crabbe and Goyle aren't? Or is she… I don't know, something else?"
"Is that jealousy I detect?" He asked, trying not to grin.
"It's not jealousy," Hermione said, narrowing her eyes. "I'm just wondering. You two are super close, and you've known each other for so long, haven't you?"
Draco nodded. "Yeah, we have. And yeah, she's probably my best friend in the whole wide world," he said, trying to sound like Hermione. "She's more like a sister, really," he continued in a lower tone, as if once again embarrassed to be showing his feelings. "Our mothers were very good friends in school, and they still are. It's weird to think about," he said, a shiver shaking his whole body. "It was before my mother got with my father and everything."
Hermione smiled at the soft look on his face now that he was thinking of his parents.
"So yeah, I've basically known Panse my whole entire life."
"Pleonasm," Hermione uttered under her breath and Draco clicked his tongue.
"Like I told you, my father taught us how to fly together and everything. It's normal to sleep at each other's places, to go on trips together, that kind of stuff. She can come to the manor whenever she wants, as if it was her place."
"You told me she didn't know about you until earlier this year," Hermione said, getting more curious with every word. She was trying to sound casual, so she wouldn't antagonize him. "So how did you hide it from her if she was around so much?"
With that, she realized that she didn't even know how old he was when he was bitten, but she didn't cross the line with that question. He'd tell her by himself if he was fine with sharing more info about it.
He opened his mouth but he didn't say anything at first. He opened it again, and Hermione guessed what he was tempted to say.
"It's another big question, sorry. I want to ask something else with my last one," she quickly said.
"It's okay, you get a bonus one," Draco said calmly, surprising her. He looked down, picking at the cloak on the floor as if to remove some bobbles. "So, I'm not sure what my parents told her parents exactly. I didn't see her for a few months. I didn't really see anyone for a few months, actually. It took some time to adjust, we needed to get everything in order and, well… Pansy and I used to play a lot in the garden, we…" He smiled a little. "We'd play explorers, or we'd pretend we'd be these great wizards that'd take over the world so we'd pretend to get into these huge duels against each other, or that we were fighting all these great beasts, dragons and stuff," he explained. Now that he had started talking about pleasant memories, it looked like he couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. Hermione was listening quietly, pleased to see this smile on his face and the shimmer in his eyes. "And, um… Well, they don't know that I heard them but, um… My parents used to argue about a few things back then." His tone was getting lower again and he got his attention back to the cloak. "They were trying to decide what course of action would be best for me. If I'd come here, if I could just pretend and everything, especially around other kids. They met with Dumbledore and Severus, I know, because he was already making my potion and Dumbledore was ready to welcome me here. My father's always said he's the worst thing that's happened to Hogwarts but…" Draco slightly shook his head. Though Draco had often repeated the words, believing his father was always right, he knew his father must be grateful for allowing Draco to come to school. Who else would have wanted him around?
Once again, Hermione didn't raise the fact that he called Snape by his first name. One day, she'd ask what was the nature of their bond, aside from the Wolfsbane potion, but it wasn't that day. He was already visibly trying to keep his vocabulary as casual as possible, and his air as nonchalant as can be, she wasn't going to dig too deep.
"And I heard them talk about Pansy, because they were afraid I might accidentally do something to her. You know, even just a scratch, because we'd play rough sometimes. I can't even tell you the number of times we got scolded because we'd play outside during these big dinners with so many important people, and we'd ruin our clothes and our hair and, well… you just don't do that."
They both chuckled lightly and when he looked up, he discovered how soft Hermione's gaze was. Maybe she wouldn't be so loving anymore if she knew what kind of world they were ruling in their little games, imitating their parents or family friends. But her mind was miles away from that. She was just thinking about Draco as a little kid, innocent kid, she even thought, playing around like any other. How weird was that to imagine?
"Again," he continued, "I don't know if they know I heard some of these… conversations, and I'm not about to tell them about it. But I helped them decide, in a way, I think. I'd say things like…" He cleared his throat and then spoke in a little voice, as if his old self was talking. "I'd say "Can I see Pansy? I'll be really careful, I promise" or "I can't wait to go to school. I'll be with Severus so no one will ever know ever, and I'll get to live a normal life!". Not so subtle, now that I think about it. But I think they also needed to hear that I was ready to move on, in a way. Or maybe they didn't," he then shrugged, speaking quickly, "but they did let Pansy come by. They probably said I was just sick or something. Pansy told me…" His words faded away and he shook his head, not wanting to mention some of his conversations with Pansy, including the one near the lake, or in the common room after she found out.
"But it was your choice to let her know, right? There wasn't any accident or anything?"
Draco shook his hand. "No, no, nothing of the sort. I chose to tell her. That's Lupin's great influence right there. I got really mad at him for a while, he almost cost me my best friend."
"She reacted that badly? That's why you guys weren't talking for a while?" Draco nodded. "I thought it was because she saw us that day, in the library." He shook his head this time.
"Nah. She's never really mad at me for anything, not for too long anyway, though I'd probably deserve it sometimes. But I'm the same with her so you know. She didn't get it, us, I mean. She was annoyed. It was risky, still is, obviously, more than ever before. But she's not one to forbid stuff or anything. We stopped talking because she found out, yeah, and she didn't react all that well. In turn, I didn't either, it freaked me out. But she… I think she was hurt, also. I basically lied to her this entire time and—"
"Did you?" Hermione asked. She guessed he always needed to find excuses.
"Well, she never really asked, to be honest. It's a long story," he said, bushing aside PAnsy's suspicions about a family curse again. He didn't need to get into it. "So I never really had to explain myself."
"Then you didn't really lie."
"Then why does it feel like I did?"
They stayed quiet for a moment, Hermione slowly nodding, and Draco could see the wheels turn behind her eyes.
"Technicality," she muttered.
"Pesky little things they are, technicalities," Draco said in the same tone and Hermione smiled. "We both needed space, I think. She got some time to put everything into perspective. She understood a lot about me, my actions… my feelings and such," he said quickly so that Hermione wouldn't raise the point. "So her mindset changed with a few things because, and I'm not tooting my own horn here, she realized that she didn't want to lose what we had. And I didn't want either, so we talked about it, like grown-ups. See, I'm more mature than you think I am,"—Hermione chuckled—"and we patched it all up."
"It's great that you did… A friendship like that, you don't want to mess it up."
Their eyes met and Draco only nodded, unable to carry on with the matter.
"So, your next question," Hermione said, raising her hand again with one finger up. He did the same and put down his last finger.
"What's your favorite part about being a wizard?"
"Oh, that's…" She was surprised by his interrogations, and about how comfortable and curious he appeared to be with her Muggle-born status. "I never really thought about it… I think I just like being here."
"In Hogwarts? Geez, your life really revolves around school, maybe you are just a Muggle in disguise after all."
"I mean here."
"You mean here with me?" He asked with a sudden grin.
"No! Here," she repeated, opening her arms as if to show the room, but really she meant the environment of the wizarding world.
"That's just so nice," Draco said, faking pain as he put a hand on his heart.
"Tsk." She shook her head. "It's so different from the life I knew. Take Hogsmeade. It's just fantastic. I can't even find any other words to describe it. It's not just that I got powers, it's that I also get to visit these places, live in a wonderful place, meet and be taught by incredible wizards… Even candy, every gadget Ron and Harry buy from Zonko's, I love discovering it all for the first time at my age. It gives me such another level of appreciation for it."
"So your favorite part about being a witch is everything about being a witch?"
"Basically, yes."
"And you complain about my answers," he teased her.
"Well, let's see how you answer this one."
Draco got ready to hear it but Hermione took her time, unsure of how he would react.
"Did you really want to be friends with Harry, when we started school?"
He didn't really react. He was probably too taken back, and he didn't answer either.
"You're only asking questions about my relationships," he finally said.
"So? There's no rule about that. Besides, you've only been asking questions about me not being a Muggle so you're one to talk."
"No! I also asked about what a dumbass you were!"
It was so blunt that Hermione burst out laughing. When she regained a semblance of composure, Draco smiled at her.
"I thought you'd ask me about my parents or… you know about what."
"I'm not asking now, don't mean I won't ever."
"Alright, so it's settled, that's your last question?"
"It is," Hermione concluded with a nod.
"Alright then," Draco muttered, shifting uncomfortably. "Did I really want to be friends with Potter…"
Hermione waited eagerly, but her shoulders slumped when he finally answered.
"I don't know."
"Draco!"
"But it's true!"
"But it doesn't mean anything!"
"But I really don't know! I thought I did, but then…" He looked away and tried to get closer to the wall he was already against. "I also feel like I only did it to tell my father about it," he confessed. That, Hermione wasn't expecting.
"I don't know how to tell you this but… I don't think he likes Harry all that much…" She said.
"Well, neither do I," he grimaced, and Hermione wasn't sure if he was talking about his father's feelings towards Harry, or his own. But then again, maybe they were just one and the same. "I just thought… If we were close… I don't know," he shrugged again and she finally understood why he couldn't formulate a clear answer to that question. He couldn't even explain it at the moment but unconsciously, it seemed that he had tried to use Harry for his own gain. And if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had come back, Hermione could imagine how shamelessly Lucius Malfoy would have given Harry away to him. The Malfoys would be revered by their side, and what power would they have in this world… And it was all about power, wasn't it what Draco had told her months ago?
On the other hand, if He never came back… Well, Draco would be friends with the most famous kid in school and that probably counted for something too, given the version of his life he was trying to live up to.
She wasn't going to press the matter now, there was no way. They would both get too uncomfortable, and it would spark debates she didn't want to have at the moment. Besides, Draco clearly wasn't ready to hear anything he'd consider bad about his parents. Maybe with time…
"Alright, then, I accept your answer." He looked up at her in surprise. "I get it," she added. He looked back down and she pressed the tip of her fingers on his knee. "What's your last question?"
"I already asked my last question, can't you count?"
There was no way to be sure, given what they were taught in this school, was there? She kept her quip to herself.
"Didn't we say we've got four?" She asked.
"No," Draco articulated. "I said you get a bonus one. I, on the other hand, get a kiss. I think that's only fair, given how generous I've been today."
Hermione felt her lips curl up on one side. "It's not being generous if you expect something in return."
"D'you want to take the Malfoy out of a Malfoy?"
