Latibule: a hiding place, a place of safety and comfort.

Note: So while I was reading Tokyo Ghoul, I had a moment where my thoughts went, "Just adopt him already, you know you want to," during Shinohara and Juuzou's interactions.

Thus, this was born. And it became a much larger project than I thought it would.
Now, while keeping characters in characters is something I always strive for, I feel like it's important to note that Juuzou's development will be quite different from what it was in canon. While obviously most of his issues and trauma stem from his treatment under Big Madam, being left to his own devices at the academy and used as a scapegoat, clearly didn't do him any favors. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be rescued from that hellish place only to get lumped in the same category as your abusers by the people who rescued you. :/

Also, as far as I know, Shinohara's wife was never given a name in canon, but, since she has a rather big role in this story and I absolutely refuse to spend the entire fic referring to her as 'Shinohara's wife,' so I decided on a name for her here. To continue down this line of thought- I began writing this before I was aware of Kaneki and Touka's daughter in :Re, so the 'Ichika' mentioned in this fic has nothing to do with their 'Ichika.'

WARNING: Past child abuse, past torture, severe PTSD/C-PTSD, brief moment of self-harm. If there's anything I missed, please feel free to bring it to my attention.


"What do we do with him? It's not like we can ask a family to take him. Not with an upbringing like that."

"Did you ever see anything like it? Ghouls…"

"...complete lack of morals."

"The academy perhaps…"

"I'll take him." Shinohara surprises himself by speaking up. He's not sure exactly when the idea occurred to him, just that he can't ignore it.

"Shinohara-san?"

He clears his throat. "I'm requesting custody of the child rescued during last night's raid." A placid smile accompanies this statement. "I found him, so perhaps it's only fitting that I should take him."

"I think we're all a little too old for 'finders keepers' here, Shinohara-san."

A few listeners chuckle to themselves at that, but there's no malice present in the speaker's dry tone. In fact, he smiles wryly.

"I trust I'm not the only one who has these concerns." Naturally, this comes from Mado. "But, considering his, ah… upbringing," he scratches his jaw and regards them all in turn, "can he really be rehabilitated, as you say?"

"What are you suggesting we do then?" Shinohara frowns at him. "If I might take the moment to remind us all, this child is a victim…"

"All the same, who can take him in?" Mado, it seems, has tapped into the concerns of several other officers and someone else speaks up. "Can we really ask that of someone?"

"I said I'll do it."

"Shinohara-san…"
"You know Asahi and I have been trying for a child."

"It's not going to be easy."

"I know." Rei's life up to this point hasn't been easy. It won't be easy moving forward either. Shinohara is under no illusions in regards to that. He would be lying, however, if he said he'd been able to stop thinking about that poor child from the time they rescued him from that place. "I'm not worried about that."


It's when he's pulling out of the hospital's parking lot that he realizes he hasn't yet consulted his wife about his decision.

Asahi is a patient woman and they've always wanted children, though they've not yet been able to conceive any.

He's certain she'll welcome this new member of the family.

Once she gets over the shock.

Perhaps it was his bleeding heart speaking out before his brain can catch up, but regardless, one thing is certain: he can't rescind his decision. It's obvious that this child needs someone to look out for him.

A perusal of missing child reports hasn't turned anything up, no name, no family, nothing. The closest thing to a 'guardian' that they're aware of is the ghoul who tortured him.

As for a name, the only thing they have is Rei, though that seems to be the ghouls' pet name for him.

Still, it's the only one they have and it's better than none.

He has no one and, if Shinohara doesn't take him in, it won't be long before he's bound for an institution. Or perhaps foster care if he's lucky, but Shinohara can't imagine that lasting long before he finds himself in a group home or simply out on the streets.

And with Rei's sure to be long list of traumas… it seems likely that he would end up on the streets, either dead in a ditch or back in the hands of ghouls before too long.

Neither option is acceptable.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and spends a long second staring at it, thumb hovering uncertainly above Asahi's contact number.

After further consideration, he slides it back in his pocket and pulls out onto the street.

This is the sort of thing that should be talked about face to face, not sprung on someone over the phone.


"You what?!"

Shinohara flinches at the alarm in his wife's tone.

"Asahi, I know this is sudden, but…"

"It's not that." She tosses the rag she had been using to wipe the table into the sink and wipes her hands on her apron. "Okay, it is that. Partially. I know we've been trying for a child, but are we really ready for this?"

Shinohara steps around the table and takes both her hands in his own. "I know this is a lot, but if you had seen him…"

"I don't need to see him, Yukinori." She shakes her head. "You know I would never turn down anyone in need."

"I'm sorry for springing this on you."

"Don't be." She purses her lips. "I'm sure I would have made the same decision in your shoes. You said… ghouls?" This time, she looks a bit apprehensive. She isn't sure she wants to know or she's debating whether or not she feels the two of them are truly up for the task and Shinohara can't blame her for either.

He nods, as the memory comes back to mind. A small, blood-stained child, smiling innocently at them, standing over the body of a man he'd just killed. Blood in his hair, some of it his. Scars. So very, very many scars. "We found him during the raid on Big Madam's estate." He generally keeps the more sordid details of his work from Asahi, but if Rei is coming here, then he can't sugarcoat the details. "She was keeping him there, like he was some sort of pet for their amusement."

Still, he doesn't see the need to describe everything he saw there in that hellish place. He can spare Asahi from that much.

They hadn't been expecting to find human prisoners. Certainly not a child.

There are sickening stories passed along CCG ranks of ghouls who kept abducted humans as 'pets,' playthings to be used until their interest waned.

It's something the CCG has been trying to put an end to- even more so as of late- and Shinohara knows they have leads on several other establishments similar to the one they just raided.

Will they find more of the same?

Shinohara has seen a great many awful things during his time as an investigator, from the mangled corpses of victims to their grieving families.

This is the first time he's found a live captive. That it had been a child only makes it worse.

"They tortured him." They'd stumbled upon the cell during their search of the place. The dried blood on the stone floor and the various instruments kept lined up and to the side left little doubt as to its intended purpose. "Made him kill for them."

It makes his stomach turn.

He's seen many terrible things as a ghoul investigator, but he's not entirely hardened his heart.

Asahi drops herself into the chair and buries her face in her hands. "How could anyone…?" She stops herself from continuing. "And they haven't found his family?" She raises her head and lowers her hands a fraction, but she still keeps them over her mouth.

"No, they haven't."

Truthfully, Shinohara has his own doubts about whether or not his family would even be alive. It's possible that his family is dead, probable even.

The scene is all too easy to imagine.

Parents slaughtered like pigs, consumed with the same amount of uncaring, their child abducted in a flight of fancy or as some sort of premeditated act.

Had they stalked the family? Or had they been the unlucky victims of the spur of a moment decision?

He closes his eyes against the gruesome picture it paints for his mind's eye, all too easy to call to mind.

After all, he's seen plenty like it already.

He massages his temple, chasing the thoughts away- or striving to at least.

It's not his job to speculate right now, but there are times when it's hard to shut the investigative part of his brain off.

Especially, it would seem, when it involves the child they pulled from a nest of ghouls.

"We're still looking into that, but…" he doesn't know what else to do, so he shrugs helplessly, "the chances are that they're already dead."

Asahi covers her mouth again, inhaling sharply.

Shinohara takes her into his arms to comfort her.


He visits the CCG's hospital ward again as soon as he can, which turns out to be two days later. He is, after all, still a ghoul investigator and there's work to be done, especially seeing how they failed to exterminate or even apprehend the Madame.

The CCG still has investigators working overtime on her case, but he manages to get a visit in before the end of the second day.

"How is he adjusting?" he asks.

The nurse, a small-statured man who had introduced himself as Ogawa Benjiro, pushes his glasses up his nose and adjusts his sleeves.

"Unfortunately," he says, casting a sympathetic look in his direction as though Shinohara is somehow the one in need of pity and not the tortured soul he's come to visit, "he's already removed his IV line twice and made several attempts to assault the nurse attempting to reinsert them."

"What?" Shinohara feels his heart sink. It's not that he had expected the transition to be smooth, it's not that he expected this to be anything other than messy, but this is worse than he had allowed himself to hope it would be.

"Look, his file says he was raised by ghouls, right?" Ogawa says.

Raised is too kind a word.

"Tortured by them, you mean," Shinohara corrects.

Ogawa looks uncomfortable for the first time. "Yes, well, regardless," he scratches his eyebrow and avoids making direct eye contact, "restraints were deemed necessary."

"Restraints? It was that bad?"

He thinks of the scrawny, malnourished boy they pulled from the basement of that estate and it's hard to imagine until he recalls that when they found that boy, he was covered in someone else's blood.

Those ghouls made him kill.

"I know it's unpleasant to think about, but the staff determined it to be the best way to keep him from hurting anyone. Himself included."

Shinohara keeps quiet.

"You're pushing to adopt this kid?"

Pushing is an interesting word choice and Shinohara frowns, but he nods anyway. "Yes."
"Well," Ogawa sighs, surprising him with his next words, "I don't envy you, I won't lie, but that kid needs someone." He settles Shinohara with an appraising look. "I hope you manage to be that someone."
"Yes," he agrees softly, "so do I."


Rei is staring out the window when they enter the hospital room, but he turns his head the second he hears them, expression caught somewhere between fear, wariness and just plain resignation.

The thought of does he think we're here to hurt him is quickly replaced by does he have any reason to think we're not?

Recognition flickers in his eyes once they settle on Shinohara's face, but, beyond that, there's no further reaction.

He's so terribly small. The hospital bed completely dwarfs him.

Empty.

That's the word that comes to Shinohara's mind.

Rei is empty, a shell of a boy. There's no life in his eyes. He doesn't fight against the cloth restraints around each wrist tying him down.

In an awful moment of clarity, Shinohara understands why. In that place they pulled him from, did he ever get the chance to fight back? Or does he know better than to try once he's been tied down?

Is he simply waiting for something to happen that he can't avoid? How many times has this happened to him?

Shinohara feels sick. "Take them off."

"What?"

"The restraints. Take them off." They're his caretakers, not his captors. Shinohara wants Rei to be aware of that distinction before they even begin.

"With all due respect, Shinohara-san…" Ogawa begins.

"Just for this meeting at least. Please. I'll take responsibility should anything happen," Shinohara assures him, but looking at Rei now, it's hard to imagine anything happening at all. It's hard to imagine anything happening that required these restraints in the first place. "Please. For my visit at least."

He's an investigator. He's faced SS ghouls before. He'd like to think he can handle a child.

He'd also like to think it won't come to that.

Ogawa lifts his hands in surrender, putting up much less of an argument than Shinohara had braced himself for, before he moves to undo the bindings. "Fine. But this is on your head, not mine, if this goes south."

He undoes first one wrist, then the other, while Rei watches him carefully.

Shinohara watches too, watches for any reaction.

His fingers twitch when his wrists are freed, but otherwise, he lies still.

Ogawa steps back from the bed. "Well," he says, "I trust you know what you're doing."
Shinohara nods. "Thank you."
"Just call me if something happens."

Rei's eyes track Shinohara's movements as he crosses the room to his bedside, slowly pulling the chair provided for visitors away from the wall and taking a seat.

He isn't really sure where to begin or what to say. He settles for asking, "Do you remember me?" It's a longshot and he knows that. As it is, that raid had been chaotic enough for the members of the CCG conducting it. Shinohara can't imagine how terrifying and confusing it must have been for someone like Rei caught up in the middle of it all.

Expecting him to remember one new face among the hordes that had cropped up that night might be asking a little too much, but it's somewhere to start.

Rei doesn't answer him, which is about what Shinohara expected, so he proceeds gently, "I was there when you were found. Do you remember, Rei?"

That draws a flicker of recognition from Rei, but not, Shinohara thinks, for him.

He remembers the event, not the people involved.

Not surprising considering… well, everything.

Shinohara thinks back to the flash of recognition he had seen previously when he'd entered the room. Had he been mistaken?

Rei furrows his brows.

"Where's Mama?"

Shinohara's breath hitches.

"We don't know," he assures him quietly. Something tightens in his chest.

Rei's breathing quickens and tears slide down his cheeks.

This… is not how Shinohara had envisioned this going.

He hasn't been here five minutes and Rei is already terrified, reliving some piece of a nightmare Shinohara can only imagine.

"Rei…" He's not unfamiliar with trauma. It's the nature of his job. He's seen coworkers break down before under the weight of it all. He himself has awakened from nightmares more times than he can count.

He's encouraged his fellow officers in the CCG to see therapists and he's seen therapists himself.

It comes with the job. It's to be expected.

Except Rei isn't the same. He's not CCG. He's not an adult. He wasn't prepared for any of this.

He shouldn't have had to be.

He's a child.

He should have spent every night safely tucked in bed with a mother and father looking out for him.

And yet trauma has been all he's ever known.

The most important thing Rei needs right now is to know that he is safe.

"Rei, you're safe. You're safe. You're not there," he repeats everything, slowly and clearly. "You're in the custody of humans."

Ogawa is behind him now. "What happened?"

"He…" Shinohara begins, but Ogawa interrupts him.

"He's having a flashback?"

That would most certainly appear to be the case.

Ogawa shoulders past Shinohara, syringe already in hand.

"Wait…" Shinohara protests, grabbing the man's shoulder before he can sedate Rei.

If they rob him of his consciousness… he's afraid of them losing any possibility of earning his trust before they've even had the chance to start.

He's already been frightened and hurt in so many ways. Shinohara doesn't want to contribute to that anymore than they already have.

Rei is still sucking in breaths, eyes wide, but his breaths are starting to slow.

The worst of it seems to be over.

"Rei…" Shinohara says gently and is relieved when he sees that Rei's eyes are following him. "You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you here."

Rei takes a shuddering breath, sinking back into the pillows.

"Was I a good boy?" he murmurs.

Shinohara is genuinely taken aback- he's not sure what response Rei hopes for. He looks to Ogawa, but the other man appears just as confused.

"Okay," Ogawa sighs, stepping back and running a hand through his hair. "That did not go as hoped."

Shinohara has to agree.


Before his next visit, he makes time to stop at a bookstore. He's not sure if Rei can read, but having something to look at is sure to be better than nothing.

He isn't sure what sort of subjects he would like… he doubts that something even Rei himself knows. It doesn't seem likely that he had the opportunity to foster interests of his own, but Shinohara doesn't think that it's ever too late to start.

He buys five books in the end.

Two books by an author he remembers enjoying as a child. He doesn't remember the plots very well, but the pictures are bright and they should be entertaining.
He hopes.

One on animals.

There's a particularly charming book about a cat and little green men. He spends some time flipping through that. There are very few words, but plenty of bright colors and Shinohara thinks that suits it just fine.

He buys that as well.


He's not sure how well the books will go over, but he decides that they're worth a shot.

Ogawa softens when he sees them.

"Those will be better for him than these blank, white walls," he says, nodding his approval. "He spends a lot of time staring out the window."
"Has he…" Shinohara hesitates before asking, "been violent again?"

Ogawa shakes his head. "No. He's actually been rather subdued."

Does that count as an improvement or is he sinking deeper into whatever trauma has a hold of his mind?

Ogawa continues, "A psychiatrist was in to see him the other day."

If he hadn't already had Shinohara's attention, this new information would have captured it immediately.

"They're hopeful that with continued sessions… we'll begin to see some improvements in his mental condition."

"That's… good to hear." It sounds trite, but he means it.


"Hello, Rei," Shinohara greets when he enters the hospital room, books in hand.

There's more life in Rei's eyes this time when he raises them to meet Shinohara's. Soon after, he catches sight of the book and regards them with more curiosity than caution.

Shinohara obliges, holding them out as he approaches, carefully so as not to scare him.

"I… wasn't sure what you liked," he explains, though he realizes it might not matter much, "so I just brought all of these."

Rei takes the one offered carefully and holds it in his hands, scanning the illustration on the cover with his brows furrowed in concentration.

He doesn't open it though and Shinohara feels his heart sink.

He needs to be careful about expecting too much from him, he realizes. After everything he's been through… he won't be reacting to these things like a normal child.

"I have more…"

"Oh!" Rei's proclamation jerks him back to reality.

Rei's eyes are on the cover of the next book he holds in his hands.

The giraffe stands out among his jungle companions.

"You like giraffes?"

Rei hesitates-like he's worried the book might be snatched back out of his reach- but finally he dares to reach out and snatch it with eager hands.

He holds it in his lap, running his palm across the cover as he admires it.

"The most freckliest animal in the world," he murmurs.

Shinohara steps forward, intending to take a seat in the chair.

Rei misinterprets the movement and clutches the book to his chest. A look of fear flashes across his face- like he's genuinely frightened Shinohara has given him the book only to take it back from him.

Not an irrational fear, considering where they found him, but Shinohara intends on doing no such thing.

"It's yours. So are these if you want them."

Shinohara lifts the three books he still has in his hands.

An offering of good will of sorts.

Rei glances at them, but he doesn't reach for them. He's too mesmerized by the book he already has.

So he's an animal lover, huh? Shinohara muses with a small smile.

That's good to know.

He'll have to make use of that.


"He loves that book, you know," Ogawa says, upon Shinohara's return. "He almost never stops looking at it. I don't think he's touched any of the others."

"Maybe I should bring some more."

Ogawa shrugs. "It wouldn't hurt, I'm sure," is all he says. He adjusts his glasses and stops just outside the door. "He's had several more appointments with the psychiatrist."

It's too soon for him to hope for progress. "And?"

"I think it's really too soon to say for certain. Although I hear they may be clearing him soon. Meaning he'll be able to go home with you."

His thoughts come to a screeching halt. "Already?"

He'd expected a lot more… time and effort to go into the process.

"Obviously, there are stipulations. Continued therapy is mandatory and…"

"I mean-" Shinohara massages the space between his eyes, trying to ease the headache that's cropped up, "are they sure it's alright? This soon?"

"Quite frankly," Ogawa's eyes are tired when they make contact with Shinohara's, "I suspect some just want him out of their hair." He raises a hand before Shinohara can speak. "I don't like it either. It isn't right. But you're likely to be far better for him than any of the alternatives."


"I hear you like your books, Rei…"

Shinohara sits in the same chair.

Rei lifts his head.

"Juuzou-" Rei's voice is more forceful than Shinohara's ever heard it. "I'm Juuzou."

It might be the first sign of personnel autonomy he's displayed since being taken from that place.

"Alright," Shinohara smiles. "Hello, Juuzou."


It's raining on the day Shinohara comes to take Juuzou home.

The rain is now coming down in sheets and Juuzou, Shinohara realizes, is no longer underneath the umbrella with him.

Shinohara pivots, panic rising- they've only just left the hospital, he can't have lost him already- but Juuzou is several paces behind him, standing in the rain. His head is tipped back, eyes closed.

The rain is running down his face and neck in rivulets.

He extends his hands, letting the rain water splash into his palms.

"You've never seen the rain before, have you?" he asks. Or, if he has, it was at a time long before that woman ever got ahold of him.

Juuzou opens his eyes and blinks at him, face full of wonder.

"Rain?" he asks.

"Yes," Shinohara tips the umbrella back and holds his hand out, catching the droplets on his palm, "this is rain, Juuzou." He rights the umbrella so it serves its purpose once more. "Come on," he says, extending the umbrella. "We don't want you to get sick on your first day out of the hospital."

The light and wonder drains from Juuzou's face, replaced by a blank look, before he wordlessly obeys, skulking forward till he's once again underneath the umbrella.

His shoulders hunch and there's an obvious tension in his posture as he walks alongside Shinohara.

Something churns uncomfortably in Shinohara's gut as he tries to consider what he may have unintentionally just done.

For just an instant, Juuzou had been the happiest he had seen him- until that had all come crashing down.

The mechanical, unnatural manner in which Juuzou had obeyed him leaves him feeling disturbed and Shinohara is reminded that he doesn't know everything about his past in that… place. He doesn't know all the ways his trauma will be manifested.

Shinohara clears his throat, but he's not sure how to break the ice now that it's frozen over.

This is… clearly something he needs to be mindful of in the future.

The car ride is a little easier.

Juuzou is so clearly fascinated by the outside world. He presses his face against the glass, watching the trees whizz by.

After a moment, a bout of happy laughter catches Shinohara by surprise.

He dares to take his eyes off the road for a moment.

Juuzou still has his face pressed up against the glass. He's just happy, plain and simple, overwhelmed by the marvels of a world he's experiencing for the first time.

Shinohara smiles and turns his eyes back to the road.


Asahi has taken the day off from work to prepare for Juuzou's arrival. It's yet another thing he appreciates about her.

She hasn't done anything extreme- neither of them want to overwhelm Juuzou on his first day, even though Asahi is adamant that they'll be celebrating later when he's adjusted and comfortable.

She has, however, purchased two large stuffed animals, a tiger and a gorilla, which are seated on the table.

"They didn't have a giraffe," she mouths to Shinohara. He had, of course, informed her of Juuzou's fondness for giraffes.

Juuzou, for his part, is pressed close to Shinohara's side, regarding Asahi with wariness.

While it lifts Shinohara's heart to see he's not afraid of him anymore, it's disheartening to see his distrust of his wife.

That will come with time, though, he reminds himself.

A child with a past like Juuzou's is bound to be wary.

Asahi, if she notices and she surely does, doesn't let it color her attitude.

"Hello, Juuzou!" She smiles warmly, clasping her hands.

"Good evening." His greeting is subdued and he stays planted firmly by Shinohara's side.

"Good evening!" Asahi returns his greeting cheerfully. "Do you need anything? Are you thirsty? Hungry?"

Juuzou doesn't answer her. His attention has been arrested by the two very large, very fluffy stuffed animals.

"They're for you," Shinohara encourages.

Juuzou glances at him once and then he's stumbling forward. He scoops the stuffed animals up into his arms and holds them tightly.


A partially aborted cry drags Shinohara from his sleep that night. He wakes with a start, unsure at first as to what disturbed him.

Asahi stirs beside him. "Yukinori…?" she asks, confused.

"Juuzou…" Shinohara mutters, too distracted to properly answer her and realizing now what the sound he heard was.

He's having a nightmare.

Shinohara flings the covers off and slides out of bed.

Asahi pushes herself up. "Do you want my help?"

"I should be fine." In truth, he's only half-listening to her as he rushes out the bedroom door, across the hall and into Juuzou's room.

Juuzou arches his back in bed, tangled in his sheet. Another cry rips from his throat and it's that cry that spurs Shinohara forward.

He grasps Juuzou's arms, hoping to wake him.

"Wake up! Juuzou, you're safe, you're not there-" In his still unconscious state of terror, Juuzou throws his arm out, catching Shinohara in the face and cutting him off. Galaxies burst to life before his eyes and, by the time his vision clears, Juuzou has tumbled out of his bed and backpedaled to the opposite wall.

His eyes are wide and his chest is heaving, before he balls his hands into fists and presses them against his eyes, drawing his knees up to his chest.

He looks so small, curled into a defensive ball the way he is.

It's enough to break his heart all over again.

No one deserves to be this broken.

He extends a hand, intent on offering what comfort he's allowed to, but Juuzou shies away from his touch, drawing more tightly into himself.

Shinohara withdraws his hand. He can't force his help upon Juuzou.

One thing is clear though: he isn't leaving this room.

Even if he won't accept his comfort, Juuzou needs to know that Shinohara isn't just walking away from him because things got a little difficult.

"Yukinori?" Asahi's voice is tight with concern as she pokes her head into the room, standing with one hand on the doorframe. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," Shinohara sighs. "We're fine. Thank you."

She's hesitant at first and he knows that she longs to offer what support she herself can, but that she also doesn't want to overwhelm Juuzou. "Alright," she says finally. "Just… let me know if you need anything, okay?"

Shinohara offers her a reassuring smile, though he doesn't think she'll be able to see it in this darkness. "Yes. Thank you, Asahi."

He's not sure at what point he fell asleep. He wakes up with a pain in his neck and a stiffness in his back.

Sunlight is already streaming through the curtains.

He remembers in an instant though exactly what it is he was doing in here the night before and he straightens immediately.

Juuzou has balled himself up in the corner, back pressed against the wall. His arms are wrapped around the massive stuffed tiger.

He's still sleeping, which is something of a relief to Shinohara.

Peacefully too, it seems, which is an even greater relief.

Slowly, he climbs to his feet and takes the blanket from the bed, draping it carefully around Juuzou's small frame.

Juuzou stirs, gripping the blanket's edge with his fingers, blinking his eyes open to peer at Shinohara.

Shinohara smiles softly. "Hey," he says. "How are we feeling today, buddy?"

Juuzou makes a discontented sound from somewhere deep in his throat. "Tired."

"Yeah, I bet." He yawns and rubs the sleep from his eyes. "Want breakfast?"

Juuzou eyes him for a few seconds, then slowly nods.

Shinohara's smile grows wider. "Fantastic." He extends a hand. "Why don't we go out and see if Asahi needs our help with breakfast?"

Juuzou doesn't take his hand, but he does stretch out, finally crawling out from underneath the blanket.

Shinohara takes that as a step forward.


Everything is going well.

Or so it seems.

Juuzou has been adjusting well.

He still has night terrors and meltdowns of course, but his therapy sessions have been helping him cope with those. Shinohara and Asahi have been doing what they can as well.

They're making progress.

Shinohara has the day off and he's been spending time with Juuzou, working on a puzzle just the two of them.

They'd picked it out together, although at the time, Juuzou hadn't seemed interested in any of them.

Until he'd poked one with a soft word.

"Kitty."

The picture had been a charming one, a pair of kittens playing with a ball of pink yarn.

It's slow going.

Juuzou insists on stopping to take it apart every so often and starting over, but he laughs as he does so and Shinohara is content simply to watch him be happy.

He steps out of the bathroom.

Juuzou is still working away at the puzzle, picking at his lip thoughtfully. His stuffed tiger is close by his side.

"Juuzou, no!" Without thinking, he throws himself forward, wrapping his arms around Juuzou's much smaller frame, pinning his arms to his side.

His hold on the knife doesn't relent, however, and Shinohara becomes afraid that Juuzou could use it to bring further harm to himself.

His hand closes around Juuzou's bony wrist, his grip gentle, but firm enough to encourage him to drop the weapon.

The knife clatters to the floor and a small, distressed sound forces its way past Juuzou's lips. The noise breaks something in Shinohara's heart- no child should ever have a reason to sound like that- and for an instant he falters, fearing that, even with the best of intentions, he has just made a grave mistake.

Before he can think further on that, Juuzou's whimper becomes a full-blown wail. He slams his head back and Shinohara feels his nose crunch.

He reels back, eyes watering, and clutches at his nose instinctively, trying to stem the flow of blood.

Juuzou slips out of his grasp and bolts down the hall.

"Damnit!" Shinohara curses softly and runs after him. His wife isn't in the kitchen- Asahi had been called into work earlier that day- so there's no one to act as any sort of buffer before Juuzou makes it out the door.

"Juuzou, stop!"

Too late.

The door hangs open and he's gone.

Shinohara curses again under his breath.


He must look like some sort of madman, running through the park in a frenzied haste with blood streaking down the lower portion of his face, and people give him a wide berth.

It's hard to keep his mind from leaping to worst case scenarios.

They never caught up with the ghoul responsible for his torture. Shinohara has no idea if she wants him back, if she would be looking for him.

What if she finds him…?

Shinohara runs faster.

Juuzou, when he finds him, is sitting with his back up against a tree. He's found something, cradling it in the palm of his hand, and seems to be taking great interest in it. He's so absorbed in whatever it is that he's found that he doesn't immediately hear Shinohara's approach.

Shinohara approaches with some level of apprehension.

Juuzou hears him.

He leaps to his feet, whipping around, panic written all across his face.

He's still holding whatever it is that he found in his palm, cradling it close to his chest. His posture relaxes and the panic fades when he sees that it's just Shinohara.

"Shinohara-san!" He smiles like nothing had even happened and holds his hands out for Shinohara's inspection.

It's certainly a case of mental whiplash for Shinohara, who still hasn't come down from his fright.

Juuzou's arms are still bloodied, but it doesn't look like he's done anything to exacerbate the wounds further in the time it took Shinohara to find him.

"Juuzou." Shinohara's shoulders slump with relief and he passes a hand over his face, sighing deeply as he does so.

He doesn't have the energy to be angry with him, but even if he did, he suspects that would be counterproductive.

Juuzou likely won't even understand why he would be angry in the first place.

"I found something," Juuzou says, apparently unaware of or, far more likely, unbothered by the panic he's caused his guardian.

On the one hand, it's something of a relief to see that Juuzou seems to have shaken off his initial terror.

On the other hand, Shinohara still isn't over his own fear that this incident sparked.

Still, he obliges, stepping closer to get a good look at what he can now see is a toad cradled carefully in the palm of his hand.

"Ah," he says, unsure of how to respond, but unwilling to disappoint Juuzou. He smiles. "That's very nice, Juuzou."

Still, he's anxious to get Juuzou home where he can look at the slits in his arms and take him to a medical center for treatment.

Thankfully, he hadn't cut deep enough to put himself in serious danger, but Shinohara is sure he should at least see the doctor.

There's probably one or two of those gashes that will need stitches.

In any case, he's fairly certain the two of them paint a rather sketchy picture and he'd rather get Juuzou indoors before some well meaning passerby sees the blood covering them both and tries to get involved.

That will only end disastrously for all parties involved.

He reaches out, intent on taking Juuzou by the shoulder to steer him gently in the direction of home, but the boy skitters just out of reach and now watches him with wariness.

Shinohara snatches his hand back and raises both his hands slowly, enabling Juuzou to see both that he's unarmed and that he means him no harm.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Juuzou," he says carefully. "I'll even let you take the toad home."

"Really?" That certainly catches Juuzou's interest.

"Yes, really. But you have to think of a name for him, okay?"

"A name?"

This time, he allows Shinohara to move close enough to put a steady hand on his shoulder and begin guiding him home.

"Yes," he answers. "You have to give him a name. How else will he know when you're talking to him?"

Juuzou's eyes widen comically as he stares down at his newly acquired toad.

"It's okay if you need to think about it," Shinohara continues. "Name's are important and…"

"His name is Toad," Juuzou whispers, still completely taken with his new pet.

"Ah," Shinohara says mildly, concealing both his surprise and how anxious he still is to get them both back to the apartment. Neither emotion will do Juuzou an ounce of good. "That's a very good name. Now he'll never get confused."


His nose is broken.

That doesn't come as much of a surprise though. Juuzou packs one hell of a punch. Or headbutt, if he wants to be technical.

Shinohara is much more concerned about Juuzou, who leaves the doctor's with freshly bandaged arms and a new appointment with his therapist. A few of the wounds had required several stitches to close up.

Asahi is waiting for them outside, having received Shinohara's message to meet them at the hospital.

"Thank God!" She runs to them almost the second they're out the doors. Tears are still shining in her eyes.

She slaps her hand against his chest, much to Juuzou's apparent amazement as he watches them interact with wide eyes.

Shinohara grabs her wrist gently- although Asahi is not a violent woman by nature and there's no real force behind her strike- and wipes at her tears with the pad of his thumb.

"Asahi…" he says weakly, but he really can't blame Asahi for being this upset. Returning home to find blood in the apartment had likely been quite the shock for her. He can't imagine what she must have thought. "I'm sorry."

"The phone call is the only reason you're not in any more trouble," she retorts, wiping her eyes and reaching out to ruffle Juuzou's hair in turn. "I'm just glad you're both okay."

"Yeah," Shinohara sucks in a breath, "I am too."

He still feels slightly ill when he thinks about what might have happened if circumstances had been altered just the slightest bit.

If he hadn't been there in time to see what he had or if Juuzou had cut just a tiny bit deeper…

It's not worth thinking about.

Asahi sweeps them both into a hug. "Why don't we go out somewhere for a treat?" she suggests. "To celebrate all of us still being alive and well."

Juuzou wiggles out of the hug almost immediately, but his eyes do light up at the idea of a treat. It's enough to bring a smile to Shinohara's face.

He's a deeply traumatized child. Pain is what he knows. It's what he's familiar with. You and Asahi are something entirely new to him. It's going to be frightening.

Asahi and he have, of course, met with Juuzou's therapist themselves on several occasions.

It had been something they were both more than willing to participate in. They had accepted Juuzou into their lives with the understanding that they would be helping him heal.

They couldn't do that unless they properly understood how.

Seeing that light in his eyes- it gives Shinohara hope that they may truly be moving forward.


Perhaps the first real break for Asahi in her relationship with Juuzou comes when he approaches her while she does the finishing touches to the pair of dresses she plans on sending out to her nieces.

She notices him in the corner of her eye, but keeps still, even as her breath catches, hoping against hope that maybe this will be the day he finally accepts her entirely.

She and Juuzou don't have a bad relationship per se, but they don't have an especially close one either, though she certainly longs for one.

It's just… while he's been growing more and more fond of Yukinori as time goes on, he still seems uncertain and wary towards her. He's not afraid in the same way he used to be.

Just wary.

Asahi would be lying if she said that it didn't hurt, but she understands.

The one who hurt him was a woman.

Asahi has personally known survivors of sexual assault who had trouble interacting with men afterwards.

It makes sense that Juuzou would be no different.

He needs time to heal before he can allow himself to trust her- even if she isn't the one who hurt him, even if she would rather cut off her own hand than raise it against him in that manner.

He approaches silently, stopping to examine the finished product, running his fingers along the fabric. It seems normal enough. A curious little boy coming to see what his adoptive mother is crafting.

There's nothing unusual about that.

Something is wrong though.

Asahi can see it in the set of his shoulders. He's tense. Apprehensive even.

"Do you like it, Juuzou?" she asks gently, hoping she doesn't unintentionally frighten him further and trigger another episode.

His time spent seeing the therapist has done him good, but he's still working through a lot and she doesn't want to be the reason he has another attack.

He doesn't answer her.

It takes an instant for her to see that his face has gone expressionless. He's not looking at her, but through her.

"Juuzou?"

He doesn't answer her.

Dissociation.

She recognizes it instantly, thanks to her own sessions with Juuzou's therapist, and gets up quickly, hurrying to the freezer for an ice cube.

She presses the ice into his hand and wraps his fingers around it.

"Juuzou," she says, when he doesn't snap out of it, "what do you feel?"

"It's cold," he whispers.

"Yes," she says, feeling almost faint with relief.

His eyes shift from her to the dresses she was sewing.

"Do you want me to wear those?" he asks finally, a note of apprehension present in his tone.

"These are for my nieces," she explains, though it's… not what she had been expecting. She's not sure why the pair of dresses would be enough to make him uneasy.

"Mama wanted me to be a girl. She didn't like the boy me," he confesses quietly. His fingers clench the fabric of the skirt tightly.

Asahi's fingers freeze in the act of pulling the needle through. What?

Startled by the fact that he's chosen to open up, Asahi internally curses Big Madam, even as she hurries to reassure him.

"I like the boy you," she tells him, wondering if her assurance would be enough.

He raises his eyes cautiously, like he's not sure it's safe for him to feel relieved quite yet. Asahi's heart breaks further.

"Honest," she says, putting down the stitching. "Neither one of us is going to force you to be something you don't want to be."

She takes a deep breath. She's not certain what she's about to try next will work, but she wants to try it anyway.

She holds out her hand in a closed fist, pinky extended. "You can do it too," she invites.

Hesitantly, he extends his own pinky and holds it there, unsure of what to do.

"It's called a pinky promise," she explains. "Wrap your pinky around mine."

He does so slowly.

Asahi's heart lifts considerably at the contact. This… this is progress. The kind of progress she had hoped to make, but that had been looking less and less likely.

She squeezes carefully so as not to make him flinch.

Juuzou doesn't need her instructions to do it back.

Asahi smiles, thrilled with the results. "Very good! Now you know I'll never break my promise to you!"

"Your pinky does that?"

"Yes, it does."

"Does it fall off if you don't keep your promise?"

She's momentarily taken aback by that. "No, it doesn't."

He frowns. "Then how does it make you keep it?"

"Because if you don't, everyone will know you're a no-good, rotten liar."

Juuzou still doesn't look convinced. "If it doesn't fall off, maybe you should just cut it off."

"I don't think so…"


Shinohara stops just outside of Juuzou's door. From within come the sounds of the boy singing quietly to himself.

He's been doing this more and more, while his violent outbursts have lessened even if they haven't disappeared entirely. His therapist seems to think so too, though Shinohara isn't privy to the details of what goes on during their sessions.

He's just happy to see Juuzou feeling better.

Though he's about to send that good mood crashing right back down. If he didn't have to, he wouldn't, but his superiors have been on his back near constantly at this point.

Big Madam still hasn't been found after escaping termination the same day they rescued Juuzou.

The CCG is getting desperate and, right now, Juuzou is their only link to her.

Shinohara has only agreed to their terms because he's certain that Juuzou will take this much better coming from him than under any sort of interrogation.

He's far from happy about it.

He steps into the doorway. "Hey, Juuzou," he says.

Immediately, he sees that Juuzou is coloring. It looks like a picture of a cat, though the colors aren't of any cat he's ever seen. There's liberal helpings of red scrawled all across the picture as well.

Juuzou, for his part, seems perfectly absorbed in his artwork, kicking his feet and humming softly to himself.

His sleeves hang down and Shinohara's eyes are immediately pulled to the scarring, small, thin lines along the length of his forearm, left over from whatever cruel treatment the Madame had seen fit to dole out to a child.

Shinohara feels his gut tighten.

What he endured with the ghouls was nothing short of torture and here he is, thinking of asking him to relive it.

He doesn't have a choice.

Juuzou is aware of him, pausing only slightly in his song, before picking it up again.

He doesn't recognize the melody.

"Is that something Asahi showed you?" he queries.

"No, I made it up!" Juuzou tips his head back to grin at him.

"Well, you should consider a career in music then. How was your day?" he asks, both as a postponement to the more unpleasant subject yet to come and because he genuinely wants to know. "Asahi said she took you to the park. Did you like it?"

Juuzou finally looks up from his drawing. He nods eagerly. "We saw lots of pigeons," he says. "I tried to catch one, but…" Here, his face falls.

"Well," Shinohara offers him a consolatory pat on the shoulder, "here's a piece of advice for you then." He holds out his hand palm up for Juuzou to see. "If you hold seeds or bread in your hand like this, the pigeons will come right to you."

He watches with amusement as Juuzou's eyes go wide and he mimics Shinohara's own motion, opening and closing his hand several times.

He swings his legs again. "They must look so funny when you catch them," he says finally, grinning at the idea.

"Ah… maybe don't catch them though," Shinohara adds a little belatedly, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Asahi might actually kill him if Juuzou brings home several pigeons in addition to the toad. "What else did you do at the park?"

Juuzou looks away so Shinohara can't see his expression anymore, but his foot starts tapping the floor in that anxious way. "Someone called me a freak."

"Oh…" Shinohara struggles with the right thing to say to that. That wasn't very nice of them feels a little too trite.

"I told him I would cut his fingers off."

"Juuzou," he says gravely, "you know you shouldn't make threats like that. That… that isn't right."

"He made me angry," Juuzou justifies, tipping his head back to look Shinohara in the eyes. The look is one entirely of innocence.

He truly has no grasp of the weight of his words and, really, how can he when his childhood until recently has been filled with acts of violence far more atrocious than what he himself just suggested?

"Even so, that's not an appropriate response to anger."

"You like them more than me!" Juuzou accuses.

"That's not true," Shinohara says. He isn't sure where this assumption has come from, but it's one that he'd like to nip in the bud. "Juuzou… I'm not defending what they said to you."

Juuzou puffs out his cheeks and slowly deflates them. "Mama did that once." He starts picking at his nails. "She cut off all his fingers while he screamed and screamed and didn't stop."

That draws Shinohara up short, a knot settling in his stomach. He's known from the beginning that Juuzou's life had been steeped in violence beforehand, but each new revelation seems to leave him reeling. What does someone even say to something like that?

Shinohara's regret that they let this woman escape only increases.

No child deserves to have ever been exposed to this kind of violence.

And they want him to ask him to relive it.

He can't do this to him. He won't let them take him in for interrogation either.

He'll fight them harder.

Juuzou is a child.

They'll find Big Madam some other way.

"Juuzou," he clasps his hands, feeling heavy, because how is he supposed to help Juuzou through this? "this isn't going to be pleasant for you, I'm sorry, but there's something I need to talk to you about."

Juuzou freezes. For a moment, he says nothing, before a slightly ill expression crosses over his face. "I was a bad boy," he whispers. "Because of the fingers."

"No!" Shinohara hastily reassures him, inwardly cursing himself for already messing this up. He scoots forward and halfway extends his hand.

He hesitates for just an instant, afraid that contact may unintentionally trigger a full-blown attack and warring with indecision. It's only a moment though, before he reaches out, grasping his shoulders firmly but gently in an effort to ground him.

Juuzou jerks, his eyes snapping to Shinohara's face, but he's back in reality and not in whatever memory his mind was trying to drag him back to.

"No, you haven't," he assures him. "Far from it. You've been amazing. You're trying so hard and I'm so proud of you..."

Juuzou doesn't look at him, fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt, stretching out its hem.

Shinohara's stomach knots itself in his torso.

He'd hoped his words would garner a positive response, but it seems like they haven't.

"How many points?"
"Points?" That's a new one. Shinohara is almost afraid to delve into what this means.

"How many points did Rei earn?" He's getting far more anxious now, breaths coming hard and fast.

Referring to himself in the third person and by his previous name can't be a good sign either.

"Juuzou," he says and waits for the boy's eyes to lock back onto him, "what are you talking about?"

Juuzou's hands fly up to cover his ears and he shakes his head, screwing his eyes shut.

"It's okay," Shinohara soothes, heart breaking, "I won't ask you about it again. I'm sorry."

He pulls Juuzou gently into his embrace, wrapping his arms around the boy's thin shoulders.

He doesn't resist.

There comes a moment where Juuzou just… breaks.

He latches onto Shinohara's shirt, sobbing against his chest.

"It's okay," he murmurs, stroking Juuzou's hair. "It's okay. I'm here. I won't ever let her harm you again."

He means it with every breath of his being.

They're pushing towards a better future- one that Big Madam won't ever be a part of.

One they'll forge together.