'Realizations'
Cole
Her health was falling, fragile and frail. The heart thump thump thumps as Cole lays next to the little mage with his head near her chest, checking for the third time this hour. It's already been a few days. Why? Why won't she wake up? But her chest rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern, pained but proof of her life.
Serana said she would be fine. She would wake up when she had the strength. But here she lays, eyes closed and so so quiet.
Even while she was asleep the air around her sung. Sometimes shifting through the air like the element she wields with such ease. Liz's song was unlike Solas'. His was softer, subtler, not silent but still. Hers was quick and cracking, clear like a cloudless day. Yet torrential like a storm, threatening to burst. How did no one hear it, like he did? Even now, after becoming human, the songs whispered to him.
He is taken out of his deliberations when the rocking of the wagon jolts and sends him into the air a few inches. He drops down and steadies himself, his hat tipping in front of his eyes. He grunts and tips it back over to get a look as someone giggles from across the way.
Then his eyes catch sight of Bunny, once again, riding on the back of her white steed as she is beside the wagon.
Was the demon lying, back then? Is he in a dream right now? How was she alive? She's yet to confront him, though he noticed more than a few times she was looking at him from afar. A thoughtful look on her face.
"So you're … Cole, right? I had a brother named Cole. You look a lot like him, actually." She says, her blue eyes showing a deep sadness.
"I'm sorry. It hurts. Pulling taught in the chest, the memory snagging on a thorn. Seeing my face hurts you, doesn't it?" Cole asks, lowering his hat a little to hide his eyes. Hide away from the surprised and slightly scared look on the girl's face.
"How do you know that?"
"Your heart sings a sad song when you see me. I was there, holding his hand. Hollow and alone. But he wasn't alone. I was there. Compassion." He tries to explain, but when he looks up at Bunny she only gives him a confused look like she isn't sure what he means by that. "Sometimes I don't get the words right." He fidgets, "Sorry."
"No need to apologize." She smiles again. So kind. "I heard about you from some of the scouts for the Inquisition. Aren't you the odd one that put chickens in the kitchens at Skyhold?"
Cole's face flushes in embarrassment, as he remembers his mistake at the time. He'd thought that bringing the chickens to the cooks would help get the eggs faster. But that was before he knew how and why chickens laid eggs and why they were kept in coops.
"Y-Yes. I wanted to help. But I didn't know. I'm still learning."
Bunny giggles and covers her mouth, "No need to get embarrassed, we all make mistakes." She pauses and moves her horse closer to the wagon, the hooves clopping on the hard ground of the highway, "You know, It's just …. nevermind. Will your friend be okay?" 'It's uncanny. Perturbing. How how how? Isn't brother dead?'
Cole shakes away her thoughts, the hurt snagging and pulling. Distracting him. He turns to Liz's sleeping form, still bandaged up from Serana and Ian's tandem efforts. He'd called himself a 'combat medic', so he was trained to assist with those things.
"Serana said that she would be alright. She just needs to rest." He fidgets nervously and scoots closer to her, his hand hovering close to her bruised face. He teared up a little. She's never risked her life for someone, before. Even back when the two of them had been at the White Spire. She ditched him the moment the Templars had been nearby.
It was all about survival, to Liz. All her time here in this world has been simply living to survive another day. Sometimes it made her selfish. Sometimes callous, as others might see. But Cole saw a woman who was afraid. She just needed someone there. Needed help. He gave her that.
But he can't hear her, now. Even if he prods through the bond to get a reaction. Even in their dreams. Nothing.
"She saved my life. So I owe her big time… I hope she heals and gets better." The blonde haired girl on the horse says, smiling softly. Nothing like the cold dead eyes of the little girl from the cupboard. Nothing like it at all.
The demon had been lying.
Once again Cole shakes the thoughts out of his head, "Thank you."
"The name's Bonnie, by the way. Cole. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Yes."
Liz
Liz stood in a, now, familiar part of the Fade. Surrounded by floating rocks and green light as it cast itself across her face and the large form of the Nightmare's Aspect as it stood before her.
"I could give you more than he ever could." The demon spat as Liz stood there in front of the huge spider-like creature. It's lesser form floating in front of her, about two heads taller than her, staring down at her with it's eyeless visage. It's spider leg like protrusions twitched and splayed out wide, as though opening for her to see. For her to notice. "I have grown since that time at the pond, when you picked up the rock and prayed for your fear to be whisked away. I can offer the world to you! Only if you accept me."
Liz frowned. She was stuck in the Fade again and it continued to torment her. Or was it really torment, at this point? It tried to offer her everything. Tried so hard to convince her to stay with it instead of her friends.
When she doesn't answer, it continues, "What if I could give Elise her memories back? They were locked away, by the Wolf."
Her eyes narrow, remembering the moment before Jade fell. 'Don't trust the Wolf.'
"The Wolf?" She ponders aloud, wondering if perhaps he meant the Dread Wolf. That's the only thing she could think of in reference to that. Nightmare's massive body shifts at her thoughts and a loud chuckle booms above.
"Yes yesyes! You got it in one! Her Nightmares, her Fears. They were delicious, dying, draining on her mind. Absolutely scrumptious…" The Nightmare sounds almost manic, before it returns to it's cooing almost silky smooth voice, trying to tempt her, "You know what that means, don't you?"
But the one who locked away her memories was Solas. For her safety. Unless…
There is a look of glee on the Nightmare's lesser form. Liz clenches her fists. She won't be dragged around like this. She refuses to let this thing manipulate her. Lie to her!
"Stop this, Nightmare. I'm growing sick of your offers and lies." Liz says angrily, cutting the air with her hand and glaring up at it, "I am Protection. I protect those in need and keep people safe. And I can protect myself, too. And yet, I am also Destruction, causing damage all around me. Hurting those I sought to protect. I don't want that, Nightmare. I don't want to hurt the people I care for."
"You really should just throw away that part of you, My Light. Protection for the weak makes you weak in turn, afterall. I liked you the way you were, before." It says, sounding almost mournful, "Compassion ruined it. Ruined it all."
"You didn't always want to feed off of people's fears either, did you?" That causes it to pause and Liz leans forward, "What were you? Courage?" It twitches, "Valor?"
"Silence! I WILL NOT HEAR THAT NAME COMING FROM YOU."
"But it's true, isn't it? What caused you to become Nightmare in the first place? What was the catalyst? Do you even remember? Because that day I grabbed the rock and prayed for my fear to go away, I asked for Courage." It's form starts to shake and the larger form nearby shivers and groans. Nightmare turns it's head away and looks like it wants to swipe at her, but is restraining itself for whatever reason. Liz gets bolder, thinking maybe she can help. A part of Cole filtering through and spurring her on, "It doesn't always have to be like that, you know. You don't want to fight me, and I'm not sure why that is. But I don't want to fight you, either."
The demon groans and starts to shake, claws growing and black ichor dripping from them. The teeth elongate even more, making it look more feral.
"Look at me, Nightmare." Liz says in a stern tone, causing the transformation to pause and it turns to look in her direction. Curious. "Do I look weak, to you? I am both Protection yet Destruction at the same time. I am more. I will learn to control myself."
"You could be better."
"I am better. Have been better." It's what Cole would do, Liz thinks. Extend a hand and show compassion to your enemies. Part of her also wanted to know just why Nightmare wanted her so much, of all people. Why her and not Jade? Or Ian? Other people from her world.
As though to solidify her want to help, she steps forward and takes Nightmare's giant clawed hand. It twitches and looks back at her, almost in surprise, and lets out a purring growl.
"You could be, too." She says, looking up at The Nightmare with a pointed look. Then smiles softly. Something she almost never does. Before letting go and willing herself awake.
Cole
Cole sat in the covered wagon, watching the Ian do rounds around the camp as it was being set up. His hand gently brushed against Liz's forehead, pushing strands of her pale brown hair away. Sera, Jade and Serana sat around the fire, after their tents were up, laughing and having fun amongst one another. Cole couldn't help but smile softly in this moment.
He started to rock a little as he sat next to her, humming a little as he gently traced his fingertips across the planes of her face. Stopping a few times to examine her freckles. "Wake up, my Little Light…."
It's at this moment that Ian makes his way to the wagon and leans against it, the evening sun at his back and shining into the cart. The large horned man tilts his head at the sight before him as Cole slowly turned and peeked up at the man from underneath his massive hat.
"I'm not the same, similar but separate. The Cole you know of is less. A character in a story. I am not that. Never was. We are people, too." Cole says softly, his hand not moving from Liz's face. Gently caressing. Ian seems to notice this and his gaze shifts to his hand in curiosity, then to his face.
"I know that you're people, too. It ain't a story. Not anymore. Everything is … real. I'm just having a hard time, you know, coming to terms with the fact that you've actually got a girlfriend." Ian chuckles and rubs the back of his head awkwardly, "She's a bit of a cranky one though, isn't she?"
"Not always. She can be soft, singing—silent." Cole breathes and his eyes light up at the thought of Liz, a small smile forming on his face, "I love her."
"Do you even know what love is?"
"Love is like sunshine when I only felt rain. She brings laughter when I only felt pain. Love is togetherness. We work with eachother toward a similar goal. A friendship, too. Love is…" He trails off and his icy gaze slowly moves in the direction of the sleeping woman, softening, "Her."
Ian chuckles at this and tilts his head, a fond smile forming on his face, "Yeah. I know how that feels, buddy. I had a wife, you know. Before all this. It's why I fight so hard to stay alive. Maybe one day I can find a way back to her and my kids."
"Time is different here than there. Slow like sap, suspended in time. If you do find a way home, she will not even know you were gone." Cole reassures, causing the man's shoulders to sag a little as tension leaves. Almost like that had been something he was the most afraid of. Tears form in Ian's eyes.
"Thank you, kid."
"I am not a kid. But you're old. Older than even Blackwall. So I'll accept it. We are all kids, to you." Cole smirks, then pauses as he feels Liz shift in her sleep. His gaze snaps in her direction once again as her eyes slowly flutter open. Then she winces. The pain from her wounds becoming more acute. More real. "….Liz."
"Cole…" She says, her voice sounding rough and quiet.
"I'll leave you two alone." Ian mutters, before the crunching of his large footsteps slowly leave in the direction of the fire and the women chattering and laughing. At this point, the sun is almost low below the trees. Casting the area in darkness. Even so, Cole's eyes almost seem to glow in the darkness as he looks down at the young woman.
"You worried me." He said, his large hand ghosting across her face gently. Liz lifts her hand up to place it atop his own, pressing it against her cheek as she leaned into it.
"I'm sorry." She turns her head to the side slightly and kisses the side of his hand, her eyes not leaving his own. Cole feels his heart rate pick up at the action, his other hand moving up and clutching at his raggedy shirt. The soft feeling in his chest almost doubled.
"Sighing, soft—sweet. The song inside of me. I can hear it. I know what it means, now. I love you." He finds himself saying, leaning closer to the woman. Their faces right in front of one another as she lays there in front of him. His hat tilts slightly, shielding their faces from the others. "My Little Light."
Liz's eyes widen and her cheeks grow a darker shade. So beautiful.
"C-Cole…" She stutters, her hand coming up to gently caress his face in return. He hears her want, her need. So he leans forward the rest of the way and presses a chaste kiss on the side of her mouth. Not wanting her to move much from her spot to irritate her wounds.
She tilts her head to the side and her fingers slowly thread through his hair, keeping him close as she kisses him back. This ignites something in his chest and causes the feeling to intensify. Her tongue darts out and passed his lips. Cole gasps and his eyes widen as she takes advantage of his and leans into the kiss even more, her fingers now gripping his hair to keep him close. Their tongues collide together and he finds himself kissing her back with the same fervor. The fire in his chest dropping to his stomach as he feels something else starting to come to life.
Then they come apart for air, looking at one another with mirroring looks of passion. Liz smiles, breathing heavily as she lays there before him. So fragile in her current state. "I love you, too."
Liz
Almost a week had passed faster than she thought it would. For the most part, Ian kept his distance from her. Letting her heal and stay in the wagon most of the time. Serana tended to her wounds and hummed a song quietly. One that Liz instantly recognized. She wasn't sure who composed it, but it was from her world.
"Where have you heard that song, Serana?" She asks as she is replacing her bandages. After some tonics and some healing sessions to help her skin knit together, there is nothing left but puckered flesh and a little pain. The silver eyed elf looks up at Liz and smiles.
"Hope." She replied softly, "They often sing for me to help me sleep or to soothe my anxiety."
Liz's eyes widen slightly. Hope?
"Does Hope ever talk about … where they are from?" She wonders aloud. Causing the elf to tilt her head curiously.
"You mean the Fade? Sometimes. I dream of it, too. Of towering buildings and wagons that move without horses. But it's all just a jumbled mess, at times." Serana says with a sigh, "Sometimes it feels like Hope doesn't want me to see those things. So I don't talk about them."
Hope is from her realm, too? There's Hope, a spirit within Serana Lavellan. Ian, a displaced combat medic inside of Kaaras Adaar's body. Elise, who reincarnated into Jade Cadash. And herself, Liz. A spirit turned human, much like Cole, taking on the visage of Erin Trevelyan.
Why were there so many like her? Why have they all come together like this? Was it fated? Did something bring them all here? It all couldn't be a coincidence. If there is one thing that Liz doesn't believe in, it's coincidences. Especially something as glaring as this.
"There. That should be it. Ah! We also should be arriving at Val Royeaux by tomorrow. That is where the Inquisitor is currently closing rifts and working really hard." Serana informs as she stands up from her spot next to Liz in the cart, "You should be alright to move around more, now. Just be careful, okay?"
"Thank you, Serana." Liz says as she slowly sits up, a twinge of pain in her ribs causing her to wince a little, "I don't know what I would have done without you and Hope's help."
With that, the silver haired elf left her alone in the cart with her things. She turns her head and looks at the piles of bandages, some used some not, then sighs. Her hand slowly moves across the cracked and broken leather chestpiece she usually wore.
'If it weren't for this, I'd definitely have been a goner.' She thinks to herself as she scoots to the edge of the wagon and looks around at the camp that has been made. Her gaze lingered on Cole, who was in the midst of talking to Bunny… or rather, Bonnie. Before the two of them started to walk away from the camp and into the brush for some privacy. Liz tilted her head and wondered what they were going to be talking about.
She hops out of the cart and lands in the grass, her toes splaying out and taking in the feel of the texture.
"You really should be careful walking around without shoes like that." She hears Ian's voice from her left. She slowly turns to look at him as he approaches, his massive form dwarfing her once again. Especially as he wore fullplate. "Don't the elves usually walk around barefoot like that, too? How do you do it?"
"I shield my feet with a spell." She points at her feet and wiggles her toes, "You seem a lot less confrontational. You ready to have a talk?"
Ian's eyebrow twitches, irritation showing through. But he nods and leans against the wagon slightly, "Is it really safe to talk about this in front of everyone else, though?"
"I used a spell to muffle our voices. So we should be fine." Liz waves it off, most of the others further away either in their own tents relaxing or at the fire waiting for the stew to finish cooking. "You'd mentioned that this wasn't some game. But I didn't really understand it until now. Was this world some type of media back home?"
"Yes." Ian answers, his gaze going a little distant at the mention of 'home', "I used to play the game a lot when I got back from work. It helped me unwind. But one thing that stuck out a lot to me is the fandom and it's obsession with the bald elf, Solas. He has a lot of fans, you know?"
"Heh. I can't see why. He looks like a hobo."
"He's not, though. A hobo, I mean. You have to know what he is, at this point."
His statement causes her to pause, the comment the Nightmare made. As well as what had happened just before Jade fell over when she was remembering things…
Don't trust the Wolf.
"You can't be serious…" Liz says, though moreso to herself than anyone else. Her brows furrow and she places her hand under her chin, thinking, "Jade is like us, though she was reincarnated into this world as opposed to stuck in someone else's body or manifesting like I did. She said something to me about not trusting the Wolf and seemed rather insistent on killing Solas, when she started to remember her past life."
"She fucking did what? And wait, there's more of us? Just how many?"
"I don't know. I know Hope is also potentially like us. But that's beside the point. The Nightmare Demon also tried to hint at something, but I just brushed it off as it trying to get into my head." Liz's gaze slips up to meet Ian's. Ian, who looks puzzled and a little worried, "What's with the face?"
"Jade was remembering and tried to kill Solas. Why doesn't she remember anymore?"
"What do you mean? Solas said that her remembering was harming her, so he locked her memories away." Liz explains matter-of-factly. Ian's face morphs from worry and puzzlement to irritation, then anger.
"And you fucking believed him?" He accuses, pointing at Liz and poking her in the chest. Liz stumbles back from the force of the poke, "Based on how smart I initially thought you were, I'm surprised you haven't put two and two together at this point. I can't believe you let him seal her memories away like that!"
"Solas is my friend. A mentor that I greatly respect, so you better have a good explanation for trying to accuse him of whatever it is you're accusing him of." Liz's hackles rise and she feels a wash of irritation shoot through her. Then a small niggle of confusion and concern, of which is likely from Cole. Though, then again she remembers a time he went around her wishes and pried into her dreams. Her irritation fades and she starts to think…
Ian, for what it's worth, keeps quiet and lets her come to her own conclusions. Watching her with crossed arms and a frown etched into his face.
Liz's shoulders drop and she thinks on all of the things that Solas supposedly knows about the past from 'The Fade' that she never questioned until now. Or the comments he'd made before, asking her what she'd do if she could go back to her home world. Had she inadvertently been … convincing him not to destroy the world? No. He couldn't possibly. Could he?
But he could. If he were, say, a God. An ancient elven God.
Don't trust the Wolf.
"Oh my God." Liz says quietly, her eyes wide. It's at this point that footsteps can be heard in their vicinity padding up to them. She senses Cole's presence before she sees him, as he makes his way to her side.
"Is something wrong, Liz?"
"Holy shit." Liz turns to Cole, eyes tearing up. He lied again, didn't he? Solas has been lying this whole time. Acting as her mentor. Her friend. Were they ever friends, to begin with? "Cole he…"
Cole's steel blue gaze takes her in, but due to the fact that he's more human he only seems more confused at the situation, "Are you okay? Ian, is she okay? What is going on?"
Liz's eyes drop to the ground and her bangs cover her eyes, hiding them from the fact that she is tearing up. Hurt. "Is it true, Cole?"
"Is what true?"
"Is it true that he is … is the Dread Wolf?"
Silence.
The silence is deafening.
She can see Cole's hand move to take Liz's, softly holding and brushing his thumb over her knuckles. When he doesn't say anything immediately, she looks up at Cole and a stray tear falls down her cheek. Cole reaches up with his free hand and wipes it away gently, a look of pain and understanding in his eyes.
He doesn't speak. But he does nod.
He lied. Again. Just how much had Solas lied about? Just how much of their friendship was an act? What even was the purpose of their friendship, then? It isn't like Liz or Cole could provide him with anything. A flutter of hope entered her chest, only to be quashed by Liz's more emotional mind. No. It was probably all a game to him.
"No, that's not it. Liz, he never meant to hurt you. Or me. He-" Cole tries, but Liz turns away and pulls her hand out of Cole's. "Ah—L-Liz…."
"I'm not mad at you, Cole. You always want to believe in the best of people, so I understand." Liz says quietly, then looks up at Ian who has been quiet this entire time. A frown is set in his face and his purple eyes show concern for the two of them.
"Whatever it is you plan on doing, just … keep your distance from him. He's dangerous." Ian warns.
"Yeah…"
Keep her distance. Yeah, right. She was going to confront his Wolfy-ass.
