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Credit: A special thanks goes to GirlandHerKeyboard
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Note: When I said I update Wednesday, I've realised when I said that it means Tuesday evening for you, actually. Because of the time zones...
Chapter 18.
Amanda struggled with the news for a few days before finally deciding that she needed more information, or at least a deeper understanding of what had happened that night. She stood in the squadroom and swallowed hard as she kept glancing into Olivia's office. She raked shaky fingers through her hair, before moving towards her commanding officer's office. She barely made any noise when knocking on the door, but Olivia heard her and gave her permission to enter.
Olivia looked up from her desk and was completely shocked when she saw Amanda standing there. She didn't know how to react, since she didn't know how she was supposed to face her friend now. Amanda knew who her baby's father was, and that guilt laid heavily on Olivia's heart.
"Liv, I am going to make this quick… I'm disappointed in this whole situation, and I need time to sort through my feelings… to put it simply, I'm pissed. Pissed at you and Dominick for keeping this secret," Amanda rambled, as she hesitantly locked eyes with Olivia. Tears slipped down Amanda's cheeks, which made Olivia feel even more guilty.
"Amanda-" Olivia breathed, but Amanda stopped her with a raised hand.
"I need you to give me time off. I'll use my PTO, but I just need time off. Please," Amanda begged.
The last thing Olivia wanted to do was give Amanda time off. Not only were they short staffed, but Olivia didn't want this distance to push them even further apart. Amanda was such a huge part of her life, and Olivia didn't want to lose her. It would be like losing another sibling.
"Amanda, I'm so sorry," Olivia whispered, as she gripped onto the arms of her chair.
"I know, Liv… I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me the results of your rape kit… Then we would have been able to determine that Dominick didn't do this on purpose," Amanda sighed.
"I was so scared! Scared of possibly being raped, losing you. I thought that if I kept it all quiet, that we wouldn't grow apart from each other. That our friendship wouldn't be ruined," Olivia whimpered, as tears burned her faded brown eyes.
"You thought you were protecting me, but it just made matters worse," Amanda huffed. She turned and left her captain behind as she cried to herself. Amanda had to rush from the squadroom or else she knew she'd turn back and comfort the woman that slept with her boyfriend.
xxx
Dominick had planned to go straight home after work, but he changed his mind and decided to check on Olivia instead. He knew she was only two months pregnant, but he was still worried that she was going to overexert herself and that she may harm herself or the baby.
"How are you? Be honest with me, man," Fin spoke, after Dominick walked right past him. Dominick stopped and turned to face him. Fin usually always minded his business, but he knew that right now he had to be involved. If Dominick wasn't here to take care of Olivia, he had to. No questions asked.
"Well, since you are asking, I assume Olivia told you. I'm overwhelmed with everything that has happened in the last few months. My entire world has been turned upside down, but no one should worry about me. We need to worry about Liv. I want to help get her life back to normal," Dominick sighed.
"Life will never be completely normal, Carisi. Not with that little alien," Fin grinned, as he leaned back in his chair. Dominick smiled softly and ran a hand over the back of his neck.
"Okay, so our new normal… She's never been pregnant before, so I'm worried about her wellbeing."
"I get that, Carisi. But when you aren't here, I am. I'll take care of her. I already told her to stay here. She can investigate with her ass in a chair," Fin replied, still smiling. Dominick chuckled softly.
"I imagine she took that well, huh?"
"She's already complaining and it's only been a few days. She hates paperwork, so there has been some pouting," Fin laughed. Dominick joined him, before clapping him on the shoulder.
"I'll deal with that… Fin, I know you already told me you'd look after her, but this is not a normal pregnancy. It's high risk because of her age. Please make sure she eats lots and takes naps if she needs to. Okay? We can't have her lose more weight," Dominick breathed, as he glanced towards Olivia's office.
"Yeah, I've noticed. When we talked, I thought she was going to tell me she was terminally ill, not super sick because she's pregnant…" Fin trailed off.
"As far as I know, she only is experiencing morning sickness. And because of that, I am going to grab her and take her home. She has an appointment tomorrow morning, and I just pray everything is fine. I want her and our baby to come out of this pregnancy healthy."
Dominick walked into Olivia's office and found her resting her head against her arms. He couldn't tell if she was asleep or just trying to relax.
"Liv?" He cooed softly, as he walked to her desk. Olivia lifted her head slowly and gave Dominick a lopsided smile.
"Hi," she whispered.
"Are you doing alright?" He mused, and Olivia nodded.
"Yeah, just a rough day. What are you doing here?"
Dominick reached out and smoothed her hair before giving her a soft smile.
"I'm going to take you home. I know it's early, but you need to get something in your belly and some sleep."
xxx
Amanda sat down slowly at the bar and sighed softly as the bartender moved in front of her. A napkin was laid on the bar, and the man moved expertly after Amanda ordered a beer and two shots.
"Hey there, stranger," A husky voice spoke from down the bar. Amanda ignored it at first, but looked after the man moved and sat beside her.
"Hey, Stabler," Amanda sighed.
"Whatcha doing here?" Elliot asked, his words slurring together slightly.
"I am trying to lose all feeling," Amanda replied, as the bartender sat her drinks down. She quickly knocked back the shots, before going to sip her beer.
"Ditto," Elliot frowned.
Elliot let out a frustrated sigh as the video came back to him. He could see when Olivia and Dominick slept together. He felt like he was in hell, since the last thing he wanted to do was witness Olivia having sex with a man that wasn't him every time he closed his eyes.
"How are you doing with all of this?" Amanda asked, yet she was sure she already knew the answer.
"I'm being tortured by the fucking video. The moaning and thrusting…" Elliot grumbled.
"How many times did you watch it?" Amanda asked softly.
"I can't even tell you…" Elliot replied.
There was a disgusted expression on Stabler's face. "It was because we were the squad who took the case and when Dani mentioned it, we needed to watch it. After that everything between Liv and me changed…"
"I'm sorry that this happened to you-"
"Us," Elliot spoke, interrupting Amanda. She nodded slowly and picked up her beer. Elliot grabbed his and clinked his glass against hers.
"Here's to being fucked over, even if no one meant for it to happen," Amanda spat bitterly.
"To being fucked over," Elliot huffed.
Amanda and Elliot sat there together, downing beer after beer as they thought about their lives falling apart. How the people they loved were now together and starting a family. How their relationships were disintegrating right in front of them, like sand slipping through their fingers.
"I'm going to head out. Night," Amanda spoke, as she placed a few bills on the bar. She climbed off the barstool and felt a large hand on her waist. She turned to look at Elliot. He was quiet for a moment before he pulled her close and placed a firm kiss to her lips.
