The early evening air was starting to cool when Ted exited the back door of his home. With a sigh of relief, he saw the object of his search sitting on the lawn idly plucking blades of grass with a scowl on his face.

"Harry?" Ted said as he approached.

"Woof," greeted the big black dog sitting close by the boy.

"Mr. Tonks," Harry greeted as well, not looking up from his activity.

Ted chuckled. "What have I told you about calling me that?"

Harry sighed. "Ted." He relented.

"You seem glum." Ted stated the obvious.

A few more blades of grass were mutilated before Harry responded. "Dora's mad at me."

"Congratulations," Ted said, taking a seat on the ground near Harry. "You've managed a week before you had your first fight."

Still studying the ground Harry muttered, "I wouldn't call it a fight."

"Oh?" Ted asked. "What would you call it then?"

"I don't know." Harry studied the lawn before him. "She got this really angry look on her face before she stomped out of the room and slammed the door behind her."

"Yup, that sounds like a 'you really messed up' moment," Ted said. "Let me tell you right now; it'd take a miracle for it to be your last."

"Arf!" opined Paddy.

"I don't know what went wrong," Harry moaned.

Ted chuckled. "Oh, you poor boy."

Harry scowled at him.

Ted held up a hand, still chuckling. "I know I shouldn't laugh. It's just . . . you skipped so many steps, going straight to marriage like you did. To make matters worse, you are seriously outnumbered."

"Woof." Paddy nodded, his tongue flapping out of his mouth.

"Since there is no way to compress years of learning into one night's conversation, why don't you start by telling me what you did to set her off?" Ted suggested.

"I didn't do anything that should have made her angry," Harry said a bit defensively. He had to wait a minute for Ted to stop laughing before he could continue. "Really, I only did what I thought she wanted me to do."

"What was it you thought she wanted you to do?" Luna asked inquisitively. Three male heads spun to look at the little blonde who had somehow managed to sneak up on them.

"Luna?" Harry squeaked. "What are you doing?"

Luna tilted her head quizzically. "Talking to you. Was I not supposed to?"

"Uh, actually, you can probably help me figure something out," Harry said warily.

Ted shook his head, managing to find a few more chuckles. "Have a seat."

"Okay," Luna said and promptly flopped onto Harry's lap. Since he had been seated crossed-legged, there was some shuffling before both of them were semi-comfortable.

"That'll work." Ted was certainly having his share of chuckling that night.

"I can see why Dora likes this." Luna snuggled closer to Harry. "You are right. Dora does seem mad at you."

"Oh? What did she say?" Ted inquired.

"I didn't think it would be polite to listen through the bedroom door," Luna said. "She and Andi were talking. I have learned a few new words that I suspect Daddy won't be wanting me to repeat."

"Why were you listening at the door?" Harry tried to discreetly adjust his position.

"I've just completed my summer essay for potions," Luna replied, copying the snuggling she had seen Dora doing with Harry. "I was looking for the twins when I heard Andi and Dora through the door. I think they are in the room with them. Gloria too, I suppose."

"Ah . . . she sounded mad?" Harry ventured, trying to redirect his thoughts.

"Yes, and Andi sounded mad at her. Or maybe disappointed. It is hard to tell through a door." Luna said thoughtfully.

"Mmmm . . . Hmm . . ." Ted said, "Let's try this a different way. Harry, what were you and Dora talking about when she stormed away in anger?"

"I was just letting her know that I sent the twins to Egypt to join the Weasleys on vacation," Harry said. "Every time she looked at them, she scowled. I figured some time apart would be good for everyone."

"Oh." Said Ted. "Well, that does explain that."

"You sent Flora and Hestia away?" Luna lifted herself away from Harry's chest. "You are letting way too many wrackspurts get into your head."

"What?" Harry asked as Luna stood abruptly.

"I think I should probably go talk to Dora and Andi," Luna said as she walked toward the house. "You should soak your head in butterbeer to clear your thoughts."

Harry watched her as she entered the back door. "I think I may have really messed up," he admitted as the door closed behind the little blonde girl.

"That was a pretty callous way to treat the twins," Ted said.

"How? I asked them if they would go."

"You do realize that they cannot tell you no for any reason?" Ted asked.

Harry gave the older man a startled look. "They can't?"

"No, they cannot," Ted said firmly. "They are your magical mistresses. If you ask them to do something, they will have to say yes."

"How am I supposed to know if what I'm asking is something they don't want to do?" Harry asked.

"Therein lies the problem," Ted said with a sad smile. "These magics are not concerned with how the witch feels or what she may want. They are old magics from a time when women were naught but chattel."

"That's wrong!" Harry swung his arms wide in anger. "Why would Sirius . . ."

"Yipe!" In response to Harry's anger, Paddy had started to come over to comfort the boy and was unlucky enough to get a faceful of flailing fist for his efforts.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Harry said, quickly scrambling over to check on the dog. "You didn't deserve that. I'm not mad at you. That was an accident. I'm sorry!"

With a whine, Paddy licked him to let him know that there were no hard feelings.

Instead of returning to the spot he just vacated, Harry plopped on the ground, petting Paddy the entire time. "Why would Sirius do that to them?" He finished his question.

Ted sighed, and leaned back. "You may have noticed that wizarding society is very behind the times. Sirius comes from an old family, and no matter how good a person he is, he will have been taught things that can only be considered barbaric by today's standards. And to be honest, the Blacks aren't exactly known for being the nicest wizards around."

Harry gaped at Ted in horror.

"It is exactly as bad as it sounds." Ted continued. "Sirius would consider the daughters of his enemies to be prizes to be won and conquered. Unfortunately, the laws back that attitude."

Harry ran his hand through Paddy's fur a couple times before saying, "I don't want to own them. I want them to be happy."

"That is because you are a good lad," Ted said. "I understand what you were thinking when you sent them away, but you have to remember that you are working within a very old, very biased and very depraved society. Equality under the law is not a concept they are interested in pursuing."

"I don't think I like wizard law very much." Harry said.

"You are not alone in that assessment." Ted asserted. "However, we are getting off topic. You need to know that sending Hestia and Flora away like you did was an indictment of Nymphadora's behavior."

"I only did it to make Dora happy," Harry insisted.

"Which only makes the matter worse," Ted said. "My advice to you is to let the girls handle their own relationships between themselves and for Merlin sake, don't pick a side."

"I'm just supposed to sit back and let a fight break out?" Harry asked, appalled.

"Short of heavy fiendfire being deployed, it is not your job to keep the peace," Ted stated. "That responsibility belongs to your primary wife."

"It is my primary wife who is unhappy," Harry protested.

Ted gave Harry a contemplative look before replying, "And this is what we get for tossing a bunch of girls at an unprepared boy and saying 'Have fun'. No, Harry. Hermione is your primary wife; she bears the Potter name. Nymphadora is a secondary wife." He studied Harry's reaction to that news before continuing. "Luna is your consort; you do have the option of elevating her to wife status. But for right now, you only have a line continuation contract with her."

Harry nodded his understanding.

"The twins . . . well, to put it bluntly, they are your toys," Ted said carefully.

Harry winced. "They aren't toys."

"Legally, they are," Ted insisted. "You could pass them around for the blokes in your dorm room to share if you like."

"I would never . . ." Harry started.

Ted held up a hand. "I'm not saying you should or would, only that you could."

"That's . . . that's . . ." Harry sputtered.

"And now you can see why the girls are upset that you sent them away." Ted said. "Regardless of your intentions."


The morning had been inauspicious before the purpose of the assembly was even broached. For a start, the sitting Chief Warlock was nowhere to be seen. For the first time, Albus Dumbledore neither appeared to do his job nor had he sent notice that he would be unable to fulfill his duties as required. So, it fell upon the acting Minister to commence the session, something Bagman did with his usual flair and love for recognition. In truth, it probably wasn't proper, but was effective. This ushered in the election of an acting Chief Warlock; a contest that promoted Madam Marchbanks to the temporary position after she had netted a staunch majority.

The next order of business had been to recognize the inclusion of several regents appointed to stand in for Wizengamot members who were not currently capable of sitting their own seats. The most notable of which was none other than Andromeda Tonks, who held both the Black and the Potter votes. It was a move that caused no small amount of discontent for both of the most polarized factions. The Dark faction was upset that the Black regent was notably opposed to much of their mindset, but with the Black heiress sitting in the gallery and a written letter of appointment from the lord of the house, there was nothing they could protest.

The Light side had attempted to protest the seat being taken away from the individual that Dumbledore had appointed but they were brutally shot down by a reminder that the wishes of a Wizengamot-appointed guardian do not, in fact, override the wishes of an heir who had reached the age of eleven. Since Harry Potter himself was in the audience, their objections fell upon deaf ears. The matter that the guardianship itself was in question hadn't needed to be broached.

Madam Marchbanks banged her gavel to call for order. "Now that our housecleaning has been taken care of." She threw a meaningful glance in Andromeda's direction, "It is time to proceed with our duties." She nodded at the head of the DMLE. "Madam Bones, I understand that you claimed precedence for this assembly; thusly we are to forego the call for new business?"

"That is correct Madam Warlock," Bones confirmed.

"With the arrest of Minister Fudge, that is to be expected," Madam Marchbanks said. "You shall be starting with his trial?"

"No, Madam Warlock," Bones corrected. "We shall be starting with a trial that deals directly with Fudge's ascension to power. As such, it is a prerequisite."

"Will you not honor the wizard with his title?"

"No, Madam Warlock."

"It is so noted," Madam Marchbanks said with a frown. "The refusal to acknowledge the man's current position is no small matter."

"Fudge's deliberate and undeniable endeavors to keep an innocent peer of this body imprisoned, mark him a traitor. Thus, he deserves no honorific."

"You state this as fact?" Madam Marchbanks asked.

"The accusations of treason void any protections against veritaserum," Madam Bones said. "I state this as fact."

A murmur wafted through the assembly as the reporter scribbled, furiously taking notes.

"Objection!" A member of the Wizengamot's Dark faction found his feet. "The criminal Sirius Black has not been found innocent by this body."

"Lord Black has not been found guilty by this body either," Madam Bones retorted. "Your promotion of baseless propaganda is ill-becoming your position."

"Enough!" Madam Marchbanks banged her gavel. "It is a valid point, and I must insist that you use the man's proper title for the time being."

"I will not." Madam Bones said firmly. "I formally accept any censure that comes with that refusal."

"It is so noted," Madam Marchbanks growled. "If you feel that strongly about your position, so be it."

"Thank you, Madam Warlock," Bones replied, "May I bring in the first of the accused?"

Madam Marchbanks nodded her permission. With a wave, Madam Bones ordered an auror from the room, and he returned shortly with two others surrounding a figure bound in manacles. This time it was the majority of those present who found their feet to get a better look. More than one individual uttered words to the effect of "Oh, bugger me."

The acting Warlock watched the Aurors escort the waddling and obviously suffering man to the center of the chambers before turning her attention back on Madam Bones. "I see you have a flair for the dramatics," she noted as the prisoner was being chained to a very solid chair.

"I thought it best to keep him under wraps until his trial," Madam Bones said.

"Still, I must protest," Madam Marchbanks stated. "Despite the obvious irregularities, a recipient of an Order of Merlin must be afforded certain privileges. Not being dragged here in chains is one of them."

"The manacles are to prevent him from changing into his animagus form and escaping," Madam Bones protested.

"Acknowledged." Madam Marchbanks turned to the aurors. "Remove the chair and chains. Allow him to stand and face his peers. His mere presence calls these proceedings into question, but at this time he is the bearer of an Order of Merlin First Class and thusly is a member of this body. The manacles may remain for the reasons stated."

"I suspect he'd rather remain seated." Madam Bones noted. "His testicles are not what they used to be."

"His testicles?" Madam Marchbanks studied the man closely, taking in his red bloodshot eyes constantly leaking tears and the fact that his mouth appeared to be spelled shut. "I see. The expense report for his imprisonment is going to show charges for the acquisition of Skelegrow."

"Yes, Madam Warlock," Bones said.

The murmurs that had been flowing through the assembly rose in volume and became a low roar.

"Are you going to tell this body that Lord Black was in fact hunting the betrayer of the Potters when he was arrested?" Madam Marchbanks asked over the background noise.

"I would need to have the Potter's will unsealed to be completely legal in stating that," Madam Bones said. "As it stands, with the Chief Warlock sealing that document, I will have to do it in a roundabout manner."

"As Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, you would have access to that document if you suspected foul play or that it was sealed to obscure the crimes of the one doing so." Madam Marchbanks nodded. "As acting Chief Warlock, I wish to review the paperwork in question before we proceed."

"Objection!" A member of the Light side found their feet and yelled over the growing unrest. "You are only acting Chief Warlock and thusly do not have the full range of powers afforded to that office. You must have a justification to review a document sealed by the rightful holder of the office."

Madam Marchbanks addressed the speaker. "Acknowledged." She then turned back to the director of the DMLE. "Do you judge the sealing as an attempt to cover up crimes by the sealer?"

"I do, Madam Warlock."

"Then I have the justification required. Produce the document."

Her words were drowned out by the gallery erupting into shouts of outrage.


The accused abruptly came back to consciousness and immediately regretted it. From the area he knew his dangly bits were, came not a single sensation, just complete numbness. His tongue felt swollen and his sight was nothing but blotches of color.

"He's awake." He heard a voice declare, a woman's voice he didn't recognize.

"Good. Now, if you please, I would like some time alone with my client." That voice he did recognize; it was Morris, the head of the law firm he had on retainer.

"I'll leave," the woman's voice said. "But the auror will have to stay."

"I am aware," Morris said with some contempt. "I am also well practiced in the proper privacy charms."

The woman sniffed, but he heard her leave the room soon after.

"Lucius," Morris said soon after casting the promised privacy spells. "We do not have much time; so, I will make this as succinct as possible. The Bones woman is out for blood and you are next on the menu. She just raked Pettigrew over the coals, and it is not looking good."

"Pattagroo?" Lucius mumbled as he struggled to regain control of himself.

"Yes, now shut up and listen." Morris said. "We just have the recess to talk. The attack on your mouth has apparently been put on hold. Whomever is doing it must have known the trials were today and wanted the victims to be able to speak. Your eyes are another matter entirely. Pettigrew had his Order of Merlin revoked and is headed to the veil as we speak. Bones had the Potter's will unsealed. With that and the memories Black sent to the ICW . . . Well, in summation, Black has been declared innocent, Pettigrew is getting the veil, and Dumbledore has been removed as Chief Warlock. He had enough sense not to show up for this assembly or he'd be in chains right now. He has been all but convicted in absentia for line theft."

Lucius managed to get a word in while the other man took a breath. "Oow bad?"

"I've seen the paperwork. She's got you dead to rights for bribing the Minister. You are not getting off without some time in Azkaban." Morris sighed. "Do you want me to request veritaserum?"

There was a small pause. "No."

"Then you are a dead man walking." Morris said. "Bones has everyone whipped up into a feeding frenzy. You have very few allies left, nowhere near enough, and the few you do have will know better than sticking their necks out for you at this point."

Lucius blinked, trying to get some use out of his sight. Distantly, he became aware of a quill being forced into his hand.

"Sign this." Morris said, guiding his hand toward a parchment. "You need to relinquish your remaining assets to Draco. It won't completely stop the bleeding, but with this, I can prevent him from becoming a pauper."

There was the familiar sting on the back of his hand as Lucius complied, then a brief respite as Morris left the privacy bubble to give orders to an assistant to get the new document filed as soon as possible.

When Morris sat back down, Lucius asked, "Narcissa?"

"Is fleeing the country as we speak. Or so I suspect." Morris sighed. "You did not marry a stupid woman, and she cannot help but see the writing on the wall. There is little doubt that she's headed somewhere where she can avoid becoming someone's plaything as restitution for your crimes. Normally, I'd say the Blacks would pay the ransom to avoid that, but with the main charge being attempted line theft against the family . . ."

"Line teeeft?" Lucius said in a surprised voice as he let his head slump back onto the pillow.

"What did you think I was talking about?" Morris asked. "If it were just the bribery, I'd have you off in five years. Bones is going to prove that you were paying Fudge to keep any trial for Black suppressed. It doesn't take a genius to realize you were doing that so Draco could claim the lordship. Even if I could scrounge up some reasonable doubt, the members of the Wizengamot would still chew you up and spit you out over the hint of such a thing."

"Oooo." Lucius grimaced.

"Do you still want me to avoid the veritaserum?" Morris asked.

"Yes," Lucius insisted.

"Right." Morris said, "Well then I will drag it out for as long as possible to give your wife as much of a head start as I can manage."


"Mrs. Black, a moment!"

Andi stopped her conversation with the children in time to look up and see Madam Bones approaching rapidly. It was on her tongue to remind the woman that she was now properly addressed as Mrs. Tonks when she realized that Bones was focused on her daughter.

"Madam Bones!" Nymphadora all but squeaked as the other woman got close.

"When I gave you some time off to get your personal life in order, I did not mean you could disappear for over a week without reporting in." Bones got directly to the point.

"Ahh!" Nymphadora. "I am so sorry, certain things have been coming at me so very fast and relentlessly. I sort of forgot to call in my status."

"Yes, I saw that you weren't exactly walking straight," Bones noted.

While Harry and Nymphadora blushed, Hermione spoke up. "I told you that it was noticeable."

"And I assume you are Mrs. Potter." Bones turned to the bushy haired girl.

"Yes Ma'am." Hermione bobbed her head. "Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise." Bones then turned to the little blonde in the group. "And you are Xenophilius' girl. Good to see you again, but I am surprised to see you in such company."

"I am Harry Potter's consort," Luna said cheerfully.

"Consort?" Bones eyes blinked a few times. "He has three partners?"

"Yes," Andi said. "The phrase 'poor boy' runs through my own head at regular intervals as well."

"All he needs now are a pair of mistresses to round things out." Bones crossed her arms under her ample bosom.

"About that . . ." Andi started.

"You don't mean . . . " Bones deflated.

"Twins," Andi stated.

"You can't be serious."

"Actually, no . . . that would be my . . ."

"If you finish that sentence, I swear I WILL hex you." Bones then turned to address Harry. "And you, young man, you may want to sign yourself up for sessions with a mind healer, just to get a head start." While Harry was wincing, she addressed Nymphadora. "I expect your letter of resignation on my desk by the end of day. I'm under no illusions that your change of status has not made your inclusion in the auror program untenable."

"Actually I . . ." Nymphadora started.

Andi placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "You'll have it, with our thanks," She interjected.

"But I . . ." Nymphadora tried again.

"We appreciate you allowing her to resign instead of tossing her out on her ear," Andi continued.

Nymphadora shut her mouth with a click, while Hermione gave her an accusatory glare.

"We were just about to have our lunch. This recess will not last forever." Andi continued. "Would you care to join us?"

"They are serving shepherd's pie," Luna stated.

"I'm afraid I cannot at this time," Bones said. "There are still contingencies I need to prepare for and surprises I need to not be surprised over. Things have already gone off script; so, adjustments have to be made."

"Off script?" Andi asked. "How so? If I were to guess, I'd say everything has gone exactly as you planned so far."

"Delores not showing up was not anticipated." Bones sighed. "I had several arguments prepared to bounce off her predictable interruptions. She would have been a great help in the effort to bury Fudge."

Andi looked back in the direction of the assembly room. "You're right, she wasn't there."

"I'm off to the portkey office to find out where she scurried off to," Bones stated. "She's most likely assumed that I was able to tie Fudge's bribes to her."

"You think she's fled the country?" Nymphadora asked.

"Dolores Umbridge and Narcissa Malfoy both," Bones said. "You could see it in the woman's eyes when she practically ran from the room once the recess was called. And her back was facing me."

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Harry asked.

"I do not know how culpable she is." Bones shrugged. "Despite not being fond of her, I'm in no hurry to make her suffer for her husband's crimes."

"So, you are going to get Mr. Malfoy." Harry asked.

"That would be the plan." Bones said.

"Good," Harry said. "After he tried to kill me, I'm happy to see him taken down. Even if it's not for unleashing the basilisk on the school."

"What?" All of the females demanded. They were echoed by several witches and wizards standing nearby, who had been discretely listening in.

"Did I just manage to surprise Luna?" Harry looked at the blonde who was staring back at him with a decidedly unLuna-like expression.

"Mr. Malfoy was responsible for the Basilisk," Hermione gasped.

"Basilisk?" Andi demanded.

"Kill you?" Was what Nymphadora focused on.

"Basilisk and tried to kill you." Bones summed up.

"Um . . . did I forget to mention that?" Harry asked.

"What!" the people listening in repeated.

"This is a private conversation," Bones snapped.

"You lost all rights to a private conversation once the word 'basilisk' came into play," retorted an older wizard.

"Especially when you include 'unleashed on the school'," agreed a witch.

"Just let me say, 'veil of death' needs to be added to the word basket," said yet another witch.

"You know, I normally know better than having conversations out in the open like this," Bones scolded herself. "I guess I was too caught up in the moment."

"That was a major oversight," Nymphadora commented.

Bones pinched the bridge of her nose. "Come with me, Mr. Potter. I am going to show you how to share your memories."

A/N:::: And here we have it, the next chapter. I am especially proud of getting this out so quickly, considering between this and the last chapter I tested positive for Covid, Influenza A and Influenza B. Not a fun experience, and I do not recommend filling out that particular bingo card if you can manage not to. Now, if only I could be cured of writing myself into corners.

Anyway, I had another draft written for the first scene. In that one Luna derailed the train of thought. Then she preceded to detonate C4 on the engine. Not satisfied, her next act was to tear up the tracks. She was, in fact, gathering TNT to make sure no new ones could be laid on that particular ground when I decided to call it a night.

The next morning (read sometime after noon) I sat down and reread what I had written. After lmfao I came to the conclusion that A) I'm a little too good at channeling Luna and B) writing fanfiction after taking a dose of codeine laced cough syrup was not, in fact, one of my brighter ideas. I therefore deleted some two thousand five hundred words of 'WTF just happened'. Something, I regret, in retrospect. That would have made one heck of an omakè, had I kept it.