DEAD/ALIVE Chapter Ten

As the days lengthened and the temperatures warmed, Heyes sensed the indecision Kid was wrestling with daily. He refused to talk to Kid about it. It was solely his decision to make. He saw the pain in his partner's eyes, and wished he could free him from it, but there was no easy answer and neither was right or wrong.

Heyes appreciated Joanie giving Kid time alone to think. She didn't push; no tears or angry words. He knew she loved him enough to let the decision be his.

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Kid sat down heavily in the chair. To Heyes, he looked exhausted. He took his hat off and tossed it on the table, before running a quick hand through his hair.

"Soapy said you got your ticket today." Kid said as his eyes found Heyes'.

"Train leaves Monday next week.

"Monday," Kid said softly. That was less than a week away. He had made the decision once and told Joanie he was leaving. But the thought of not being with her or seeing her made him rethink that decision only to change it again and again, until he was so emotionally drained he could barely think.

"Maybe I should just flip a coin," Kid said in a half-hearted attempt at humor.

Heyes looked sympathetically at his partner.

"You have time…"

"No I don't," Kid cut him off in frustration. "I can't live like this. It's nice to visit but...I think I'd suffocate...No, I know I'd suffocate. This city keeps growing and growing. Why would people want to be all boxed up and on top of each other...by choice? You know sitting here, it seems like an easy decision but when I'm looking into Joanie's eyes or feeling her touch... everything gets all jumbled up."

Kid closed his eyes and sighed. "But if I don't go, eventually neither one of us is going to be happy." He slowly opened his eyes. "Get me a ticket."

When Kid picked up his hat and left the room, Heyes reached into his vest and felt the two train tickets tucked safely in the pocket.

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"All Aboard" the conductor called out loudly, as the locomotive's engine began to roar to life with an explosion and hiss of steam.

Heyes began to think Kid had changed his mind again. He was still locked in Joanie's embrace as the train whistle blew. Kid cast a quick look at the train as the wheels slowly began to turn. He turned back and cupped Joanie's face in his hands, looked deep into her eyes and kissed her a final time. He whispered something in her ear, before reluctantly releasing her. Joanie smiled and reached up to brush tears from her eyes. Kid shook hands with Soapy, who had moved to Joanie's side and ran to a waiting Heyes, hopping on the train without a look back.

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Heyes occasionally paused to look up from his book to Kid. He hadn't moved, staring out at the quickly passing landscape. There hadn't been more than a couple of words exchanged between the two partners since they boarded.

Heyes woke when his book slid off his knee and hit the floor. Kid was slumped next to him, his head resting against the train window. Heyes debated whether to wake him as he watched Kid's head bump back and forth against the window as they traveled across the rough tracks. He fished out a shirt and tucked it between Kids head and the window. Kid moaned but didn't wake. Heyes picked up his jacket and carefully covered his partner.

It took several days before Kid had regained an interest in eating and talking. As they sat over their meals in the dining car, Kid listened to Heyes but his eyes still held a deep sadness. Heyes continued to give him time and allowed him whatever he needed to heal...Whether he needed conversation or a partner to remain silent and be a good listener.

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They picked the horses up in Coldwater after being wintered during their trip to San Francisco. They were losing the last of their winter coats leaving them sleek and more than a little fat.

"Heyes…"Kid said as he struggled to get the cinch around his black horse. "Don't think old Midnight missed a meal since we've been gone."

"Careful...He might be a little fresh when you get…"

Kid had a foot in the stirrup and had started to swing a leg up when his horse crow-hopped to the right causing Kid to make a wild grab for the saddle horn, but he missed it and fell unceremoniously to the ground as his foot slipped out of the stirrup. He landed heavily on his left side, causing him to cry out in pain.

"You okay?!" Heyes said as he quickly rushed over to his friend. Kid took a moment before he reached for Heyes' hand to help him to his feet. Kid gave Heyes a quick nod, but there was something in Kid's eyes that told him he might not be okay. He quickly picked up his hat and slapped the dirt off his clothes with it before picking up his reins.

"Horse. We are going to have a come to Jesus moment if you keep this up." Kid said through clenched teeth.

Heyes mounted and searched Kid's face for any sign of discomfort."Guess we need to remind them they are outlaw horses and not fat plow horses."

Kid remounted and said, "Better not run into any posses or this is going to be a very short chase."

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"Who fucking goes there?" Jane yelled out.

They found Jane sitting in the broken down rocker on the front porch. Both her hands clutched the arms, as if it was going to collapse at any minute. Heyes was surprised it survived the winter...and Jane too. He had never met someone so intent on killing themselves in such a slow, painful manner.

"Jane!" Both called out in unison.

"Thaddeus?! Joshua?!" She released the arms of the rocker and rubbed her eyes. "Well it fucking is you!" She couldn't hide her smile. "You fucking came back." She struggled out of the rocker, and carefully stepped past the empty and full bottles lined up on the porch.

"You doubted us?" Kid said as he dismounted.

"You're going to hurt our feelings." said Heyes as he swung out of the saddle.

They both climbed the steps together and threw their arms around her before she could protest. She tried to hide her blush.

"Get the fuck off me you two." She said with a feeble attempt to free her arms and push them away. "I ain't no she-dog in heat."

"Good seeing you too Jane." Kid said with a laugh. "I'll put the horses up."

"You need help?" Heyes asked.

Kid shook his head no.

"You sure?" Heyes asked, scrutinizing his partner's face.

"I'm fine...Really."

"Come on in Joshua. You know I ain't no good at cleaning so not a fucking word." Jane said as she slipped an arm under his and led him into the cabin.

Heyes took a seat at the table across from Jane. Jane was staring intently at Heyes.

She leaned forward, "Joanie? Did you...Is she?"

Heyes looked quickly through the open door at Kid, as he pulled the saddle and blanket off his horse. He turned his attention back to Jane, "We did and she is safe. She is good...not sure about him." He said nodding his head towards the open door at Kid. "It will take some time."

Jane looked relieved to know Joanie was safe.

"You boys are probably hungry. I can rustle you up something. Even got me a cake I've been saving with some sweet frost for just this special fucking occasion."

Jane busied herself getting supper ready, refusing to let Heyes or Kid help. Jane was talking non-stop, obviously excited to have company. They grew quiet as their eyes wandered around the interior of the cabin. The memories the cabin held were a stark reminder of unfinished business. Another conversation and decision for a later date.

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"What's wrong with you?" Jane said as she eyed Kid suspiciously.

"Me?" said Kid looking confused.

"You fucking hurt yourself?"

"No…I'm okay...Just got throwed." Kid quietly admitted. He looked sheepishly at Jane.

"You chewed gravel and that fucking horse is still alive?"

"Well Jane, I wasn't about to ride double with him." Kid said nodding his head towards Heyes. "My horse was just a bit rusty...I guess I was too."

"Riding a horse is like fucking...Something you don't forget. You rusty in that area too?"

Heyes tried to hide his laugh.

Kid blushed. "Can't say I've had any complaints." Kid said as a smile touched his lips.

"You finish up and let me have a fucking look. I took care of you boys long enough to know when things ain't fucking right."

"Jane…" Kid started to protest but Jane's look stopped him.

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Kid started slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

Jane shook her head, "You getting shy on me Thaddeus? After I've seen you nekked more fucking times than I could count."

Jane's hand ran along his ribs. Pressing hard, she heard Kid suck in a quick breath. "Not fucking hurt, huh? Feels like you might have cracked one…and judging by that bruise."

Heyes looked on with concern on his face. He suspected Kid had hurt himself more than he let on, but seeing the evidence...

Kid looked quickly at Heyes, "I'm fine."

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They all sat around the table discussing their trip to Cincinnati, Ohio.

"You're talking about 1200 miles. I think it's best if we take a train." Heyes knew Kid would protest another train ride. "We can pick it up in Coldwater again. We'll bring the horses and if you're dead set against it and feel well enough…"

"I'm fine." Kid said again as if he kept repeating it, it would make it so.

Both Jane and Heyes looked at him.

"Ok...Ok..Appears as if I've been outvoted."

"You know...and I told you this before...It don't take three fucking people to deliver a letter. If you got things that need tending to…"

"It can wait," said Heyes quickly.

Jane pushed her hat back and eyed Heyes, "It got something to do with a certain fucking saloon owner?"

"Might."

"That ain't going to make Doc happy...But then again Doc ain't ever fucking happy. Which delights me to no end. I think I've found my life's work." Jane said with a laugh.

"Train leaves Coldwater running south at the end of the week. Three and half day ride...you just might be thankful we're taking that train after that Thaddeus."

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The horses were loaded and settled in the stock car. It was their responsibility to keep them fed, cleaned and watered.

They hadn't been on the train more than an hour, when Jane started looking around.

"Damn I need a drink. They got something to drink in that dining car?"

"Don't recall them serving liquor." Kid said.

"The Gentlemen's car…" Heyes said before Jane quickly cut him off as she jumped up.

"Well what are we waiting for?"

Heyes looked nervously at Kid before telling Jane. "It's for Gentlemen only."

"Well, fuck that. I'm pretty sure the good Lord didn't make alcohol for men only or he wouldn't have given me such a fucking thirst for it."

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The bartender gave Jane a quick once over. He couldn't hide his disdain.

"What's your pleasure...Sir?" He almost choked on the words.

Both Heyes and Kid closed their eyes and waited for the explosion. They cautiously opened one eye at a time.

"Whiskey." Jane said through clenched teeth. She didn't bother correcting the man.

The bartender poured her a drink and placed it in front of her.

"What the hell's that? If I ask for a whiskey I want the fucking bottle." She threw back the drink. "Now that I wet my lips I need the rest."

The men in the car had stopped and taken notice of the increasing loud voices.

"Money first."

Jane pulled out her gun and laid it on the bar. The barrel pointed towards the bartender.

"Bottle first."

Heyes quickly intervened. He urgently whispered into Jane's ear. She slowly reached for her gun and slowly slid it into her holster, her eyes never leaving the bartender. Heyes was busy pulling money out of his pocket as Kid took Jane's arm and led her to an empty table. She grabbed the bottle off the bar before the bartender could protest. Heyes spoke quietly to the bartender as he counted money out and laid it on the bar.

He returned with three glasses. "This might be the shortest train ride we've ever been on."

"Well don't be fucking looking at me. It don't take much to make me agreeable...just give me my damn alcohol without no extra jawing."

"Agreeable?" Kid snorted. Heyes met Kid's eyes and shook his head.

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They helped Jane back to her seat where she promptly fell on one side and started snoring.

"I'm going to check on the horses. You think you can handle her?" Heyes said with a smile.

"Yeah...until she wakes or comes to."

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Heyes opened the door to the stock car and stepped immediately grabbed Heyes from behind, pinning his arms to his sides in a big bear hug.

"HEYES!"

Heyes froze.

Kyle?!

He slowly turned around more than surprised, shocked.

"I knew ya be on the train. You and Kid. Both of you. I saw the horses and said to myself, 'Kyle...I bet Heyes and the Kid are on this train.' "

Heyes stood stunned as Kyle slapped him on his back over and over.

"It's good to see you. Where's Kid?"

"Kyle...it's Smith and Jones. Joshua and Thaddeus."

"Yeah...Smith and Jones...I keep forgetting," Kyle said with a sheepish smile.

"Wait a minute...How did you end up here? The boys fixing on robbing this train?"

"Nah.…nothing like that." Kyle gave Heyes a heavy sigh. He looked around as if he were going to tell Heyes the biggest secret in the world. He leaned close to Heyes and whispered:

"I hate to talk disparaging about someone but…Wheat ain't a very good leader. He has all these grandiose ideas but he ain't no good about explaining himself. Thinks we'll be able to figure it out. You know Heyes we ain't the thinking and figuring out kind. I mean if we was, we wouldn't need a leader. Right? You were a good leader Heyes...the best. Me and the boys sure miss you. You knew how to explain things over and over again without getting mad…well not too mad."

"Kyle you still haven't told me how you got here?"

"I got separated from the boys...throwed from my horse and got tired of walking." Kyle sat down and started pulling a boot off.

"See I'll show ya the blisters."

Heyes rapidly shook his head no, "That's okay Kyle." As he grabbed him by an arm and pulled him up.

He looked Kyle up and down before he asked, "When was the last time you ate?"

"Can't be sure…"

"Let me go find you some food. You stay put and don't go anywhere."

Kyle gave Heyes a puzzled look, "Well...I'm not sure where I'd be going since the train is moving."

"Good thinking Kyle. I'll be back."

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Heyes returned to Kid. He cast a quick glance at Jane who still lay, open mouthed and snoring in her seat. Kid could tell by Heyes' expression that something was up. Heyes quickly told him who he had found.

"Kyle?! What the hell is he doing on the train? The boys-." Kid asked in a hushed whisper.

"No. He swears they're not. Got separated from the boys and his horse. I promised to bring him some food. Grab the saddlebag. I don't think Jane is going anywhere for awhile."

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"KID!" Kyle stopped as he saw Heyes' exasperated look, " I mean...Is he Joshua or Thaddeus?"

"Thaddeus!" They said in unison.

Kyle had his arms around Kid in a friendly hug, when Jane staggered through the door. "Where the fuck you two sneaking off to? Leave me drooling all alone…"She raised her head and saw Kyle "Who the hell is this?" She said nodding her head towards Kyle.

"A friend. Acquaintance." Kid answered as he pushed Kyle away.

"Well, I fucking hope so. Didn't think you went around hugging fucking strangers."

Wide-eyed Kyle looked from Jane to Kid.

"Who is this...Hey...Joshua?" Kyle turned to ask Heyes.

"If you want to know...ask me. I think I know my own damn name. It's Jane. Calamity Jane Canary."

Kyle's mouth fell open. "THE Calamity Jane?! Heroine of the Plains?!" He quickly pulled his hat off in respect, clutching it in both hands.

"The?! There ain't no 'the' in my name. You are a funny little fucking fella. Odd looking too."

"Kyle. Kyle Murtry. Pleasure to meet you…"

"Please don't call her ma'am." Heyes quickly whispered in Kyle's ear.

"Is it true you rode with Custer? Rode a bull through Rapid City? Even dare I say...walked nekked through town singing bawdy songs." Kyle's voice was filled with awe. Kid and Heyes could also sense something else...attraction?

Jane could sense it too. Jane looked from her two handsome friends to Kyle.

Jane's face wrinkled in horror and disgust. "Ain't no fucking way. You may be standing upright on two legs...but hell monkeys do too."

She stared at Kyle who was trying to slick his hair back with a quick hand through it. He frantically brushed at the straw on his clothes. He stopped as Jane stepped close, peering intently at him. Kyle pushed his ever present wad of chew to the corner of his mouth and froze as Jane slowly walked behind him.

"Where's your fucking tail?"

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The three men sat with their backs against the side of the railcar, knees bent. Jane had curled in a corner, but before trying to fall asleep she pointed an accusing finger at Kyle.

"You fucking think of taking unwanted liberties-."

"You're safe Jane," Kid said patting his gun. "Friend or no friend, consider your virtue protected by this .45."

"And mine too," said Heyes with a smile.

"Me?!" Kyle couldn't hide the hurt in his voice. "I ain't like that. Tell her!" Kyle pleaded.

"I don't want you fucking even looking at me. Hell...I can't sleep here." Jane stood up, swayed for a moment before heading towards the door. "You'll be undressing me with your fucking beady weasel eyes."

"No I won't!" Kyle protested. "I don't even know how to do that...especially if there are buttons."

But Jane was gone.

Kid looked at Heyes. "You really think she'll go to sleep."

Heyes shrugged his shoulders. "We'll know soon enough."

"You want me to go…" Kid asked.

Heyes shook his head no.

"Thanks for the food, Heyes...Ssh!" He quickly pressed a finger to his lips. "Sorry...it's hard to remember. Heyes...I mean Joshua…I've been meaning to ask you...How come you boys are still using your aliases?" Kyle said in a hushed whisper.

Heyes and Kid looked at Kyle with confusion on their faces.

"While $20,000 makes men what to do…"

"But you ain't wanted no more."

"Kyle, what the hell are you talking about?" Kid said with irritation creeping into his voice.

"Yeah," said Heyes as he straightened up. "What are you talking about?"

"Amnesty."

"What about it?" asked Heyes.

"Well rumor has it you got it. I heard that damn near six months ago."

Heyes looked at Kid. Kid looked just as surprised as Heyes.

"From who?" Heyes asked cautiously.

Kyle stroked his chin, "Don't rightly remember. Heard it a couple times. I mean I'm not the smartest fella...Well maybe smarter than Lobo...and sometimes Wheat…"

"Kyle!" Heyes said trying to get Kyle to focus. "Where did you hear that?"

Kyle screwed his face up in concentration, and finally said, "I don't remember." He looked apologetically from Heyes to Kid. He eyed them suspiciously, "How come you boys don't know? Seems like you would be the first to know if it's true."

Heyes slumped back so his back pressed against the wall of the boxcar.

"I'll be honest, we don't know. We might have held the answer in our hand, and decided we didn't want to know. At the time it didn't seem important. Might figure to be more important now," Heyes said as he met Kid's eyes.

"You mean you went through all that law-abiding for nothing?" Kyle said. He had an incredulous look on his face. His mouth hung open so wide Heyes was afraid his chew was going to fall out. Kyle snapped his mouth shut and said, "Not judging...but that seemed like a...if you don't mind me saying...a stupid thing to do."

"Well you could be right." Heyes conceded.

Kyle beamed. For once, Kyle Murtry was smarter than the great Hannibal Heyes.

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