Shikaku honoured Nara's ancestral tradition of looking upwards and uttering those fateful words:
-"How troublesome."
Looking at his visitor, he stepped aside, granting the Uzumaki guest rights. He massaged the bridge of his nose to hold back the massive migraine. Foolish Shikaku, Migraine-Kun was not to be denied.
Naruto channelled the lessons on etiquette that he never received but witnessed nonetheless. He failed spectacularly but the sentiment was appreciated.
-"Nara-dono, from one clan head to another."
His grin was full of barely restrained mischief, wishing for the barest excuse to be unleashed upon Konoah.
So the Hokage assigned him the Headship? Interesting times ahead.
Taking into his guest's disposition, the lack of people screaming for the Demon Boy's hide that meant Naruto was in one of his modalities. In the PrePrank Mode.
-"Why are you here?"
-"Shikaku-san, I have come to bargain."
-"What do you want?"
-"What do ya know 'bout our 'ol man recent...jutsu?"
As the Jonin Commander, Shikaku was one of the Leaf's nin with the highest clearance. His brain went into a catatonic spazt trying to grapple with all the connotations and denotations of such groundbreaking discovery. As such, was his suggestion to ride the Professor's fame and bamboozle foreign shinobi with a mix of lies and misinformation.
-"My mind still flatlines when I try to think about it. I had to ask Inoichi to place a mental block on me or my ears would leak."
He took a bottle of brandy from a cabinet and poured his guest and himself a bit of the stiff drink.
"You still haven't answered."
The golden bugger waggled his brows.
-"Oblige me, what do you know about the Hokage's new jutsu?"
-"Spare me the suffering, I usually enjoy testing your fame of Most Unpredictable ninja. But right now I am in pain."
He took a mouthful and swished it on his tongue.
The Orange Menace puffed his cheeks, and sipped the drink.
-"This stuff ain't half bad. How expensive is it?"
-"More than a year of your rent."
Now the Ramenoholic-midget placed his drink into the table and looked straight at him, the same burning insanity that made Minato a genius of innovation.
-"They think that jutsu can be taught."
And Migraine-kun bum rushed Shikaku without remorse.
BAM!
They will want to marry him!
BAM!
They don't know only Naruto can do it.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BAM! Migraine-kun hit reverse and rolled over any of Shikaku's sanity without so much an iota of regret.
He will get everything without giving anything.
-"What do you want from me, you troublesome creature?"
-"Nothing. That's the beauty of it."
Hokage's tower.
Hiashi walked in a dignified way, for a Hyuga is always in control of himself.
-"I requested an audience with the Hokage and I have come."
The secretary was wiping her fingers from some excess chocolate, laying aside her calendar, amid a bouquet with fluffy ribbons.
-"Hiru-kun will see you now."
Hiashi scowled with the indignation reserved for those who failed to measure to his exacting standards. It was a well-worn scowl, about to enter the Scowlympics. He had received a summons from the Hokage, but he refused to be sunshined away like some commoner.
Besides the kage, was that boy. Instead of cowing in front of his betters, he was far too smug for his liking.
Sage above and hells below, the seas will dry up and the sun will be no more before I allow my very blood to besmirch the Clan with your...Uzumakiness.
-"Uzumaki."
Yet Hiashi nodded.
A Hyuga always adheres to decorum. For in decorum one is true to his inner Hyuga.
The Sandaime stroked his black goatee, no longer white with the burden of infirmness, still surprising and humbling Hiashi that they had such an accomplished legend as their Kage.
The Professor truly deserves the title of Kami no Shinobi.
-"Lord Hokage, how may I serve the Leaf?"
With a sign of his hand, Cat appeared by their side, pouring tea for all the assembled. Then she retreated into the shadows and out came Dragon. ANBU Commander and most loyal subordinate, bar none.
-"Lord Hokage, have you considered my request?"
Sarutobi sighed a long drawn out theatrical sigh that engulfed the room in his tobacco smoke. Giving the whole office an ethereal glow by the moonlight.
-"Hiashi, you are about to hear an SS-class secret. Do you wish to adjourn our meeting or to stay and be sworn to secrecy?"
No one questioned the Hyuga's integrity, none. So it was without a thought that Hiashi replied.
-"Hyuga's loyalty to the Leaf is absolute."
Hiruzen stared deep into his eyes, being the only human capable of out-staring a Byakugan. Then, after taking the measure of his soul, he nodded.
-"The Perfect Health Jutsu..."
Dragon inclined his mask forward, Hiashi peered forward...the Uzumaki...scratched his nose.
"...belongs to the Uzumaki clan."
-"Modesty ill suits you, Hiruzen." "Why, Lord Hokage?"
Hiashi and Dragon stared at each other.
Someone knocked the door and Hiruzen grumbled.
-"What part of BUSY doesn't she understand?"
He put a grouchy expression but it changed when the Jonin Commander knelt by his side, eyes planted on the floor, and extended a scroll.
The Sandaime swept his eyes over the scroll while Hiashi tried his best to activate his bloodline without rousing suspicion. He only got a brief flash, but the scroll may have used some classified countermeasures against his bloodline, because he was unable to read anything on the scroll.
A genius Nara indeed. He found a way to counter the might of the Byakugan.
The Hokage tapped his chin.
-"Tell Inoichi that I will consider it."
Ashes, ashes and more bitter tastes invaded Hiashi's mouth.
Konoah's Most Unpredictable Ninja indeed.
The pale eyes focussed on the impossibility.
Truly, he created the jutsu that even Orochimaru couldn't?
Everyone knows that Ino Shika Cho is a longstanding tradition almost as old as the village itself.
He used his clout to push for Ino's suit.
Hiashi looked at Dragon and tried to discern again, to no avail, his identity.
Dragon wants to secure the lad.
The Head of the Nara clan bowed low and left.
-"Sorry, Hiashi, but you know how it is."
-"You don't need to apologize, every Clan Head knows the weight of command."
Uzumaki took the opportunity to elbow the Kage, displaying that disgusting irreverence that had Hiashi's scowl's into overdrive.
-"Old man, another one?"
That sent Hiashi's eyebrows through the roof.
Over my dead body. I won't let such power be courted by another clan.
Ignoring the pieces of wood dropping into his cup of tea, Hiashi smiled.
-"Hinata-chan now is a woman by the law of the village."
Outside of the tower.
The pineapple-haired Jonin Commander held his ribs for deal life.
An empty scroll!
Tears rolled free from the tip of his nose, the barely suppressed laughter making him snort his own tears, mixing watery snot.
I didn't need to do anything. Only deliver an empty scroll...if I deliver an empty scroll...did I deliver anything at all?
He cleaned his nose on his sleeve and tried to regain his bearing.
That midget gonna be dangerous when he gets the Hat.
For there was no doubt in Shikaku's mind, it was a question of WHEN.
Hinata awoke to find her father digging into her closet.
-"Father, what are you doin-ng?"
When his father turned around she gasped.
For the Byakugan was even more severe looking when there were no brows to contain it.
-"Suit up! Chop! Chop!"
