NOTE 1— according to personality-database, Kise's personality is categorized ESFP 4w3. That is literally my personality type.

NOTE 2— I'm not gonna painstakingly proofread my writing anymore because I'm starting to get severely annoyed by the perfectionist in me. literally wrote this in like three days and proofread it for three months. I've had enough.

enjoy reading! & enjoy my additional OCs— I don't like making too many in a story with so many characters already, but these just came naturally as I wrote hehe


01 : I AM KUROKO : 黒子はボクです


"AT LEAST FOR me," my mom offered, tightening the ribbon hanging from my neck and smoothing the sailor collar on top, "I think you look adorable."

"But I don't."

She knew I didn't. Playing dress up with her baby was her way of messing with me. I bet all my savings that if she was the student, she'd loathe my school uniform too.

"Tell me," my ex-model mother asked, her smile looking very innocent, "What's there not to like?"

"Well, for one," I started, scowling down, "these colours don't go well together. Seafoam green and navy blue just— I mean, have you seen Shuutoku's uniform? It's pretty much the same design as ours. But with better colours."

"Alright, so bad colours... and?"

"And," I continued, patting my skirt, "this looks like a junior high uniform. I was hoping for something that made me look like a senior high student. And look—" I tried shoving my hands in my skirt— "no pockets."

"Maybe it's because the school doesn't want you to hide anything in there?"

I narrowed my eyes. My mom was being very creative at the moment. "Or maybe they're just insensitive," I dryly countered. "Why is this skirt white? What if I have my period, and the disaster hits at school— o-or if I accidentally spill something on it, I bet it's see-through— wait, can I not wear dark shorts?"

"Mitsu," she gasped, covering her mouth. "Is this a new school, new you?"

"W-What do you—"

"So, tell me," she said pseudo-seriously, which made me brace for ridiculous words to come out of her mouth, "who's there to impress, huh? Are you finally going through a fashion phase? Or are you looking for someone..." She dragged out the last word, wiggling her eyebrows. I stared at her for a few seconds, letting the silence sink in long enough to hopefully make her regret asking. But I checked the clock behind her and I caved first.

"I'm leaving."

"Mitsu, my little flower—"

"Bye!" I flashed her a bright smile and promptly whirled around, letting out a huff.

"Mitsu," she whined behind me as I trudged out the front door.

I think I had a lot to learn in my first year of senior high school. Fifteen years of living this life didn't feel like enough to know how to live it well. Once again, I was put in a new environment, although this time where I landed felt only natural.

Seirin Private High— a grand, brief fifteen-minute walk. Away from everyone I knew.

The short break before was filled with peach-flavoured things (thanks to Momoi)— shaved ice, gummy candy, Coca-Cola peach edition— and playing video games with my mom. No surprise there. Did I hang out with anyone besides my parents and Momoi Satsuki? Well... no.

You may be wondering, what happened to my other friends in Teikou Junior High? That story will be saved for later, I guess. But I'll tell you that I felt so betrayed by Momoi when I found out that she decided to go to Touou Academy with Aomine. Now that sucked more than my new uniform.

Little did I know, I'd soon be walking my new school halls with a miracle too.

If I had known, I never would've gone to Seirin.


I was a white speck in a twilight zone. Some could say it was a stark ray of light or a shimmering reflection of a full moon, but I'd call it seagull poop that plopped in the midnight sea— undesired, a little gross, but there wasn't much anyone could do about it.

I'd call it that, but with every new environment, I tend to attract unwanted attention. Especially at this moment, when clubs set up recruitment tables to my left and right, seemingly endless. Spring cherry blossom trees lined the long brick walk to the main building with pink petals scattering everywhere, ambushing every table. Upperclassmen waved signs in my peripheral vision. Some of them even shoved signs at my face. I hoped that by looking down and finding endless fascination with the brick floors I could head into the school building with zero complications.

But of course, that couldn't happen to me, because I'm me.

"Do you play shogi?" someone asked, tapping my arm and sending me into a second-long fit of hysterics. Shogi. Oh God, not that game.

"Try swimming! It feels great!" another person yelled over the crowd of bustling voices. Didn't think she was talking to me, or at least I hoped she wasn't, so I gripped my bag strap and started walking faster.

"Literature club!"

"Volleyball!"

"Music club!"

"Basketball!" a nasal voice called out. "Basketball! How'd you like to join the basketball club?"

Basketball! Basketball! Basketball...!

I walked faster, eyes rapidly losing focus. That word was the worst of all the words I heard throttled at me this morning. First week of school and I already wanted this year to be over. There was absolutely no way, no howoomph.

"Oh," I said, breathless and raising a hand to my forehead where I hit a chest. "I am so sorry—"

"Shirayuki-san?"

Oh no.

I slowly peered up from my bangs, smiling the most awkward smile I could've possibly managed. I was speechless for a moment, unable to form any words on my voiceless tongue, only blinking and staring and spacing out. It was when I enough drew focus away from the reality before me that I was able to robotically remark, "Would you look at that. Same high school," to the hallucination of Kuroko Tetsuya in a Seirin uniform in front of me.

Kuroko made no expression visible to the eye. He was a blank slate as blank slates came. Maybe his eyes were a little wider than usual, but I couldn't say I knew him that well to be able to tell. "Shirayuki-san," he said, "are you going to sign up?"

"Sign up for what?" Maybe I should've pretended I didn't see him at all. I think I could've gotten away with it.

"The basketball club," he said in that even tone of his. My smile fell, unable to hold itself up anymore.

"Really, Kuroko-kun?"

"Are you not?"

"Honestly... why would I?"

"Well, I am signing up," he said, his eyes looking a little distant. There's usually no telling what went on in his mind, but I thought for a moment that I knew exactly what he was thinking. "I was hoping you might too, for a moment."

I sighed, shifting my weight from left to right. I was quiet for a bit, bunching my lips up. "Well," I confessed, "I really don't think I can bring myself to."

"But I think you want to," Kuroko said, lifting a hand. I didn't flinch for once, slightly curious if he was going to pat my head or something. But he plucked something from the top of my head without touching a single hair. When he showed it to me, it was a cherry blossom petal.

My face flushed a bit. Kuroko gave me a minuscule smile.

"Your face matches this colour." He pointed to the flower petal. I snatched it from his hand.

"I'm not signing up," I said with finality, walking past him. "I'm done with basketball."

"Shirayuki-san," Kuroko said with quiet insistence, but said nothing more.

I glanced back. I had to admit, it was a very wistful thing to see him again— and out of everyone I could've run into, I was glad it was Kuroko, at least.

"I," I started, turning back and facing the school. My voice almost died in my throat. "I'll see you around."

As I walked closer to the building, there were lesser and lesser bodies to navigate around, to my relief. But that relief was short-lived when things started to sink in. By not joining any clubs, what would universities think of me? What would these students think? I wasn't stupid— I knew that with a model for a mother I inherited some physical genes that caused people to call me "Snow White." My last name literally translated to that. So I was a spectacle to people around me... that is, until they'd find out about my asocial personality. I didn't think I was very likeable.

Maybe I did need something to change. The last two years were a nightmare.

But no more basketball. I drew the line with that.

"Just a few more would be nice," someone said to my right. With one glance, I froze.

It was the basketball club.

My eye twitched at the little sign in front, but my throat was so dry from seeing Kuroko earlier that the large green bottle of tea and the little white cups on the table seemed a little compelling. Just a little, though.

"We couldn't even get ten," the other guy said.

"We're just getting started," the girl said with determination. I wondered if she was the club manager. "We're a new school. If we win the Inter-High and Winter Cup, we'll be a big deal starting next year."

"Are you really just casually putting pressure on your captain?"

"Hyuga-kun. Have you always been this sensitive?"

The fact that I could hear them meant I was so close to the building. The voices behind me were finally at a distance. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

I wanted to scurry away. So bad. But my feet were planted on the ground, unsure how to move anymore. It's like when you stare at a word and overthink it so hard it doesn't look like a word anymore and you forget how to spell it. It was like this whole basketball club thing didn't seem like an actual thing, and I was too conflicted to move, and I really wished I brought my uniform hoodie so I could've avoided every student's stare.

"I wonder how recruitment is going," the girl on the basketball table said. "If they could just bring in some promising ones, that would be—"

"Is this the basketball club?"

I suddenly heard an intimidating, booming voice. I choked on air, whipping my head to the right. A very tall, tan-skinned first-year with broad shoulders and dark reddish hair stood in front of the table with his back turned against me. He seemed to be holding one of the recruiters by the collar, his shoes barely touching the ground. My eyes were shot wide.

There was something so familiar about him that I refused to acknowledge but had me in a chokehold for a second.

That's impossible, Mitsu, I mentally dismissed, forcing myself to walk again.

"I want to join. The basketball club," the guy said, his voice sending violent shivers down my spine. I must've looked like I was walking with all skin and no bones, wobbling towards the entrance. I looked to my left and saw a photography club. I may have rolled my eyes a bit when I decided to sit down in front of the table and scribble my information down quickly. I needed an after-school distraction and an extracurricular activity. I did want to go to college with something on my application.

But for what? I asked myself.

I didn't know one bit about what I wanted to do in the future.

"O-Oh!" the club manager, I was assuming, exclaimed. "Are you... uh, interested in photography?"

"Not really," I honestly replied, not looking up at her as I wrote. "I just need to join a club."

"Oh," she said again, this time a little less enthusiastically. I didn't want to give her false hopes anyway. "Well, thank you for expressing an interest in our club! We're meeting after school in the small room next to the gym."

"Which gym?"

"There's only one."

Oh, my, gosh. I made a silent prayer to God that the basketball club wasn't meeting in the gym after school and finished writing. "I'll see you after school," I said, offering a little smile, and the girl gasped.

"Wow, hold on a second!" she said, standing up precariously and blinking like an owl at me. I flinched. "You could be a model! You are so pretty! Your lashes are just—"

"Hahahahaaaa." My smile became crooked. "Um, t-thank you, b-b-but—" Not the stuttering! I was working on this for a year!— "I just want to take pictures, I guess!"

"We could use you as a model for demonstration! If you're willing, of course."

I let out an uncomfortable laugh, slowly backing out, "Haha, well, m-maybe!"

"I'll see you later—" the girl called out, glancing down at the paper I just wrote on, adding, "— Shirayuki-san!"


I hated to tell myself.

"Mitsu," I said, huffing at the paper map in my hands, "you are directionally challenged."

Seirin High was a new, small private school, and yet I felt like I was walking in a maze. I swore I passed through the same classroom numbers, ended up in the music room twice, and found myself on the second-year's floor. How hard was it to find a gym here— I mean, the photography club meeting room beside the one and only gym?

It was time. I had to ask someone for help. I felt a little ashamed to ask.

There was no beating around being that annoying first-year student who asked upperclassmen for directions, so I scanned the hallway for a friendlier face. At least I could ask someone who'd look like they wouldn't punch me with their eyes for asking. Then I caught sight of a friendly-enough-looking guy, leaning against the window talking to a classmate. He smiled and waved goodbye, walking my way.

I made a split-second decision and stood in front of him.

"E-Excuse me," I stammered, wincing at the stutter, wringing my hands together.

The boy blinked down at me, eyeing me quizzically. Then he glanced around, and pointed at himself. "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes, I..." I cleared my throat, shuffling my feet. "I was wondering if you knew where the gym was."

With one look over me, he lit up. "Ah, you're a first-year?"

I nodded, a little shy at his comment. "Yeah. And I'm very lost. And I feel kind of stupid for it."

"Oh, don't feel stupid," he waved off, beaming at me. "It's the first week. Very unstupid of you. I'm heading there right now, actually, so— you can just follow me."

I wasn't expecting we'd talk at all on the way there, but we ended up having decent conversations. This guy, Izuki, seemed really smart. He made puns every now and then as if he couldn't help it, and that told me he was pretty intelligent. My mom, despite acting like a languid klutz, would do the same thing. Something about that was comforting, and he drew out a few laughs from me, along with a few silent stares when the jokes badly landed. He pointed to a few club rooms he knew as we walked, and did little reviews on teachers he had that I was having, which was insightful. It made me thankful that I chose to ask for his help after all.

"You know, I was wondering when you asked in the first place," Izuki said, as we made one last turn to the hallway where the gym was at, "why do you want to go to the gym? We're about to have a basketball club meeting in there."

That was the last thing I wanted to hear, and yet, I wasn't even that surprised.

"Ah... well," I said, head turned away from him, "I'm heading to the photography club. I was told we were meeting in the room beside the gym."

"Oh, that makes more sense," he chuckled, and I mean, I understood what he meant. I looked like a fragile china plate. And there was no girls' basketball at this school. And I looked like I didn't know a lick of basketball, probably.

"Tell my friend Kuroko I said hi," I said, seeing the familiar double doors of the gym and the white door a little ways beside them.

"Oh, Kuroko?" Izuki stared up at the ceiling for a bit, gears turning in his head, when he stiffened. "Wait a minute. Kuroko Tetsuya? That guy from Teikou Middle?"

Why did I say that.

With that, I opened and closed the door behind me, uninterested in Izuki's reaction. Then I craned my neck up to meet ash brown hair, sharp, large eyes, and an overall princely aura in a second-year uniform. I could faintly smell cologne on him. My back hit the door in an instant to try and move away, but there wasn't much room to avoid him.

"S-Sorry, I came in pretty sudden... ly," I said, feeling another pair of eyes on me. My palms started sweating. Looking past the trying-too-hard-to-be-handsome student in front of me, I saw the girl I met earlier today. Now that I got a better look at her, she seemed to be half-Japanese, with her freckles and ginger-coloured hair. Her dark eyes lit in recognition.

"It's you! Shirayuki-san!" she exclaimed, practically shoving the scrutinizing guy aside and grabbing my hands affectionately. I glanced down at our linked hands, getting flashbacks of Momoi. "You actually came!"

"Y-Yeah," I said, as if I was starting to regret coming. Which I was.

"I don't think I told you who I am!" the girl snorted, which startled me. "I'm the founding club member, Akira Daira. Please call me Daira. And this big guy," she shoved her thumb in the direction of the guy she just pushed, "is Kitsuneiro Natsuki. You can call him Meathead."

"Daira," he lowly warned, glaring openly at her.

"Anyway," Daira shrugged off, taking the time to tell me that she was a third-year, and Natsuki was her childhood friend. Apparently, she taught him how to model, and they watched European modelling shows for fun at her house. She then showed me her camera, toggling through some pictures she took of Natsuki, when I glanced up and realized that she just took those pictures with a backdrop made out of a black sheet and somehow shoved it into the ceiling tiles to let it flow down in place. It looked shabby, but the pictures on her camera showed none of that.

I was actually a little impressed.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked, realizing that roughly fifteen minutes passed.

"Oh yeah," Daira stuck her tongue out and laughed, "well, you and this other girl— what was her name? Asahi? That's her family name, I think— anyways, you both were the only first-years to sign up so far. We're waiting here for you both, so maybe she'll be here soon, but the rest of the photography club is actually in the gym!"

I stared at her, brows furrowing. "But isn't the basketball club in there?"

"Well, yeah," she said. "We're taking some practice photos of them today. Practicing sports photography is essential because it allows us to look for strong compositions of still movement, training our eyes to find dynamic angles with moving subjects. On top of that, they're human, and human photography is fascinating because we can tell human stories with the right visual points, and if you capture them, blah, blah, blah..."

No. Absolutely not.

"So, what we're about to do is—"

"Daira-san?"

"Yes?" Her eyes were practically glittering.

"Can I go home?"

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Are you nervous?"

I shut my mouth. The answer was yes. Except it ran way deeper than that.

My silence was so long that Daira got impatient and started grabbing her stuff. "Come with me," she said, grabbing hold of my wrist and causing me to stumble. Natsuki grabbed my shoulder to effectively pull me back into balance, and everything just made me dizzy from the contact.

When it registered in my brain that we were heading to the gym, I started to panic. "D-Don't tell me we're—"

"We're gonna overcome your fears, my dear!" Daira gleefully declared, arm raised with a fist.

"I'm not—!" I turned around, wondering why on earth Natsuki still had his hand on my shoulder, pushing me out as Daira kept dragging me forward. "T-This is against my will!"

"Oh, you poor girl," Daira said, glancing back at me with the most sadistic grin I've ever seen, "you signed the consent form this morning. Remember?"


"Take off your shirts!" was what I was greeted with when I entered the gymnasium of Seirin High. At the very least, it wasn't directed at me.

With two shock-inducing things that just happened at once— one, the "take off your shirts!" and two, Daira barging in without so much of a warning— the new basketball recruits, the current basketball members, and the photography members didn't know where to look. So their heads did some exercise and went back and forth from the female basketball club manager (I assumed) to Daira, Natsuki, and me. It was like that for about five seconds before the manager recovered and clapped her hands. "Pay attention!" she shouted, causing every head to whip back to her.

All but one.

For a moment, I could've sworn time froze. Nothing else seemed to move, or at least, I didn't move an inch. I stood completely still in place.

If there was anything that shocked me beyond comprehension, words, action, movement, breathing— it was seeing an old friend, all grown up, right before me, at my school gym. From the split brows to the childhood ring hanging on a chain around his neck, there was no mistaking him. His facial expression was just as stunned as mine, nose slowly scrunching up, almost in disdainful disbelief.

The shock was so unbearable that I began to force my eyes to tear their focus away. I turned around and made one step of retreat before I was promptly stopped by Daira's hand still on my wrist. Natsuki must've seen the expression on my face, and he sent a sharp look at Daira. Confused, Daira loosened her grip, and I slipped out of it.

"I told you," I muttered, breath shakier than ever, "I want to go home."

I didn't understand why a small voice in me wished Taiga would go after me, chase me down the halls like we were living in a drama and we'd reunite and be happy and he'd come home to my parents and we'd be best friends again and then Himuro Tatsuya would just show up in Japan too and we'd play basketball and be together forever. But a far bigger, more annoying voice screamed that I needed to run away and not look back. So I was fully determined to do that until I heard footsteps. And it wasn't those calm footsteps that correlate with a normal heartbeat, no— it was squeaky, it was fast, and it caused my heart to pound.

I whirled around, ready to reject Daira or Taiga or anyone who wanted to force me to stay and cause a ruckus, but to my bewilderment, it was a shadow.

He huffed a breath. He clearly didn't expect to run so suddenly from across the room. "Kuro—"

Kuroko gently grabbed my forearm, staring at his hand on my arm as if pure instinct led him to do that. I gaped at him, eyes so wide they could practically burst from the sockets.

"Shirayuki-san," Kuroko breathed out. The sound of my name in his calm voice made me shiver. His eyes shone a little brightly, as if— as if my presence lit something in him. "You came."

"Did you just say Shirayuki?"


The minute I entered the house, my knees buckled and I dropped to the floor. My bag fell off my shoulder and thudded on the ground. I didn't even have the energy to take off my shoes.

I couldn't get myself to register what in the hell transpired that day.

It was like a movie. It involved a lot of running. In fact, I ran so fast at the sound of Taiga's voice that the whole world became a blur, I got lost getting out of the school a few times, and also got lost on my way home even though it's the simplest walk— and all that running made my heart race so fast, I had no thoughts left to process when I got home.

My breath was spent. Something about Taiga actually being here in Japan at my high school, Kuroko joining the basketball team for God-knows-why, Daira and Natsuki being absolute roaches in my high school career, everyone staring at me in the gym, and the thought of seeing them all again in the halls of Seirin Private High tomorrow—

I'll just transfer schools, I concluded, standing up almost without a problem.

So I told my mom. She said no.

"If your mother says no, I can't disagree," my father explained with a shrug, as we all ate around the dinner table. Which was kind of rare for us to do. I would normally feel so happy and loved for this moment to happen, and for a moment I did, but nothing sat right with my stomach after that adamant "no."

"Why do you want to change schools all of a sudden?" Mom asked, raising a suspicious brow. "All this time you've looked like you've seen a ghost."

"Yes. A ghost," I agreed, nodding to myself. "That makes more sense."

My mom turned to my dad and whispered, "Is it hormones?"

"Did something happen today?" my dad spoke up, eyeing me as I stared down at my rice and curry and pretended to be busy mixing them together.

"She could be dramatic over her uniform still," my mother whispered.

"Or she's being... dare I say, bullied?"

"No, I don't think it's that." My mother shook her head. "You remember how that was. This doesn't seem to be the case. If so, then goodness, what kind of daughter did we raise for her to get into trouble on the first day of high school?"

I sighed, placed my spoon down calmly and said, "I can hear you."

"Well then." Mom folded her hands on top of the table, tilting her head. "State your business. And stop playing your food."

I scowled, picking at my food. I had zero appetite. "I-It's... Taiga," I let out, like saying his name deeply wounded me. "And Kuroko-kun. They both go to Seirin."

"They both go to—" my mom choked, jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Why would I lie about this?"

"Kagami-kun actually came?"

I froze. My mom never sounded more suspicious in her life. "What do you mean actually..."

It took a few seconds for three things to transpire all at once: my mom springing up from her chair in unadulterated glee and sitting down to clear her throat and act serious, my dad letting out the most obnoxious sound of recognition over Taiga and getting ready to reminisce on old memories in America, and me shoving curry down my throat and refusing to elaborate on anything else. I seriously thought about getting a pet right then. A cat would do— a strong, independent pet that I could just look at and feel counselled.

I just couldn't deal with my overexcited parents who apparently convinced Taiga's parents to bring him back to Japan. Which was probably the worst surprise news I have ever experienced up to that point.

But the worst part was that Taiga clearly had no idea I was attending Seirin, much less intended to surprise me there.

So whatever the reason he came back, it wasn't for me.


Deep breaths. In, out, in, out... in... out... there's no way I can do this.

With my eyes locked on my feet, I somehow navigated my way to class with little trouble. It was a rainy day, which normally would soothe bitter nerves for me, as I could just stare at the raindrops trickling down the windows during my classes and avoid talking to people. But sadly, I was not a window-seat student, and I sat in the dead smack middle of my classroom. I just had to be the white centre of a black target.

When my last class ended, I lightly debated attending the photography club, thinking my dramatic exit wasn't a very good first impression and having this ridiculous urge to fix that. But that light debate was trampled on when I reminded myself that I couldn't find the gym by only going there once, and I wasn't even paying attention to where I was going because I was preoccupied with my weirdly charming senpai. Plus, if I could just avoid basketball, Kuroko, and Taiga for the rest of my pitiful high school existence, I thought, I would.

Thus, I had every intention to skip photography club for the day and go straight home. But then, as I was grabbing my shoes and umbrella from my locker cube and stood under the awning outside, I thought about taking a little detour to a café or somewhere fun. Just me, myself, and I. It'd be a date with myself.

After everything that happened yesterday, I thought I deserved it.

So I opened my umbrella, grabbed my earphones from my bag, and was halfway putting them in my ears and scrolling through my iPod playlist when I felt someone tap my shoulder.

In Mitsu fashion, I jumped so high I almost hit the awning— which was a feat considering my height.

"Hey Shirayuki," the guy from the photography club greeted casually. My eyes narrowed into slits at the sight of him.

"Um, hi," I greeted back, rubbing my shoulder as if he punched it.

"You don't have to look so wounded around me, you know," he said, opening his umbrella. "Are you skipping photography club today?"

"Are you?"

"Well, I guess so," he responded. I wish I remembered his name.

"Meathead?" I wondered. Out loud. Oh, God.

It was Meathead's turn to glare at me. Before I could sputter an apology, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's Kitsuneiro. You're not even close. Daira's always trying to spread crappy names for people to call me."

"You call her a friend?"

"Hardly. More like..." He tilted his head, pondering, then just gave up. "Childhood neighbour. I can't escape her."

Somehow, I felt envious of him. But I also could relate to him. So I moved on, putting my earphones on again. "See you tomorrow, Kitsuneiro-kun."

"Wait," he said, careful to lightly brush my hand. I still flinched like a squirrel whose tail was touched. He winced at my adverse reaction. "Do you hate me or something?"

"Hate you?" I repeated, blinking in confusion. "N-No?"

"Then why do you act as if I've severely offended you or— or worse?" Kitsuneiro asked, shaking his head as if he's trying to comprehend it. "Are you embarrassed about yesterday? Because honestly, that's Daira and I's fault for dragging you in there. You clearly didn't want to, and it made sense when you interacted with the basketball club in there, so... I-I just wanted to apologize, actually. That's why I'm here."

Looking at him in the rain, his eyes fixated on my shoes, not quite able to say what he said while looking into my eyes, I felt my face heat up at the sight of his own face reddening. Kitsuneiro could blush. Easily. This could look like a confession to any bystander.

"I also wanted to take you somewhere. Somewhere you like. And— I mean, if you want— we can take pictures together." He raised up his camera bag from inside his bag, careful to put it back and zip his bag up. "Or you could just go home, I guess."

I was pretty bewildered. Did Daira put him up to this? It seemed like he had very little interest in me, and suddenly he wanted to act all nice and friendly? I didn't really get it.

But at the same time, I really didn't feel like quitting the photography club. It wasn't like we were going to take gym photos of the basketball club all the time. And I had a digital camera back home that I could use. I didn't feel like switching clubs in my first year, and if anything, Kitsuneiro could be my map and actually help me venture out and find a café at that moment.

"Shirayuki?"

"You want to take pictures in the rain?" I asked him, eyeing him warily. Kitsuneiro actually smiled at that.

"Could be fun."

I turned around, tugging the earphones out of my ears and shoving them in my bag. "I want to go to a bookstore," I said, mildly startling myself for changing my mind so fast.

"Let's go. I know a place. We can also get coffee there."

"I'm more of a tea person."

"They have tea too."

"Is there a café inside?"

Kitsuneiro grunted to affirm my question, one hand in his pocket and the other holding his umbrella. He walked beside me at a respectable distance, taking a few quick steps to lead the way. I observed his movements in a daze, letting the patter of the rain on my umbrella distract me from mostly everything else, including my own thoughts. But then I had to let out a little ironic laugh.

"What?" Kitsuneiro asked, stopping. I almost bumped into him.

"I thought you didn't like me," I said, scoffing. I glanced to the side, realizing we're waiting at a stoplight to a crosswalk. We ventured into the city a bit. "Wait, are we going to the subway?"

"No, and no," Kitsuneiro said.


Kitsuneiro didn't have a digital camera. He had a film camera. And I had no idea how the pictures turned out until he processed them.

Nonetheless, a rainy day at a bookstore with Kitsuneiro, who didn't even bother talking to me much and instead took a bunch of pictures, was just what I needed to convince myself that I was going to be okay, my high school career wasn't a disaster, and I did have ounces of sanity left. Sure, childhood friends I didn't want to see were on the loose, and my club leader was a little too outspoken for comfort, but not all was lost.

Eventually, the rain stopped, and we parted ways. I thanked him right before I left, and he simply waved goodbye. When I turned around and started walking, though, I swear I heard the familiar click of his film camera. I knew the whole time Kitsuneiro wanted to capture me many times, but he did it sparingly instead— when we got our café drinks, when I ran my hand through the bookshelves the third time and he came to follow me, and while I was reading a book while taking a sip of my drink (for the third one, I lightly glared at him. He didn't even seem bothered).

On the way home, I had to really pay attention to my surroundings, as the sun was starting to set and I really didn't know my way around. I should've told Kitsuneiro that. But I wasn't thinking. The dread came back slowly, as I tried to find familiar paths, but my heart was starting to pound a bit, and my pounding heart usually pulsed in my throat up to my ears and brain, and all at once I'd forget how to think.

My stomach rumbled, and I groaned at the sudden realization that I was hungry. I paused in my tracks and glanced around me. The sky was a deeper shade of purple, meaning the twilight sky was about to greet me. Thankfully, the streetlights flickered on, and I felt like I was in a safe area, so I told myself to calm down and walk to the nearest restaurant to eat at least.

And that's how I ended up at Maji Burger.

Walking in, I helplessly thought, Taiga would love it here, as I stood in line to order. Once I made it to the front, I tugged at my fingers and said, "Can I please have a—"

"Order of twenty burgers!" a server exclaimed, holding out a tray filled with a mountain of burgers. I gawked at the sight. That's got to be for a big group. I took a quick look around me and didn't notice any groups, but—

"Tai-ku—" I choked, slapping a hand to my mouth. My entire body immediately started to shake.

Taiga took one look at me as he started to pick up the tray. He almost flung the tray up in shock. "Mitsu?!"

"I-I-I'm sorry!" I exclaimed to the employee who was about to take my order. I turned to the couple behind me and gestured for them to go. "I'm g-gonna go!"

"Wait a damn minute." Taiga held the tray with one hand and my wrist with the other, effectively dragging me to a booth. "We need to talk."

"Y-You don't want to talk to me! I-I'm just a ghost!"

"No, you're just a neverending headache if I don't talk to you," he growled, taking a seat and holding out a burger for me. "Sit down."

I glanced over and met eyes with Kuroko, causing me to shriek since my voice was getting loose anyway. "K-K—"

"What the hell, Mitsu! Pipe it down," Kagami shouted, exasperated. I rubbed my temple, my hands and arms grandly gesturing to Kuroko.

"D-Do you not see him, Tai-kun?"

Taiga's halfway through munching a burger and looking out through the window, uninterested in my distress. "See what? It's just an empty—" he tossed a glance at the seat and nearly choked on his food.

"Hello," Kuroko offered, sipping on a vanilla milkshake. Taiga and I both openly stared with wide eyes, exchanging stiff glances, when I decided to give up and finally sit beside Kuroko.

"Where'd you come from?" Taiga asked, barely able to swallow.

"I was here first," Kuroko said with a shrug. I finally took one of Taiga's burgers and started unwrapping the paper on it, hoping to not talk for the most part. Instead, Kuroko turned to me and said, "I'm glad to see you today, Shirayuki-san."

"A-Are you now?" I asked, feeling prickled. Taiga squinted at the sight of us.

"How do you two know each other?"

I looked away, not up to answering the question, when Kuroko replied, "Teikou Junior High."

"Are you guys friends, or something?"

I still didn't answer. Instead of answering Taiga's question, Kuroko asked, "Are you and Shirayuki-san friends?"

"I asked first."

"I asked first," I mocked, angrily biting out of my burger. Taiga twitched at me. "Who cares about the past? I... I wish I never met either of you."

"Oh." Taiga let out a menacing, short, breathy laugh. "Oh really? That's what you've decided, huh? After leaving me, you wish you never met me?"

"You know I didn't want to leave," I muttered.

"You know you could've at least said goodbye or some shit," Taiga brusquely countered. "You know what I remember? Calling you like some idiot who thought we were friends."

"You know, you could bring this to another table," Kuroko interrupted, which wasn't enough to break the tension for me. I leaned back on my seat, closing my eyes. I was too prideful to admit that I was fighting back tears.

"Does that day still hurt you, Taiga-kun?" I asked, peering down at my burger. Funny. I lost my appetite. "Because what hurt more was not being able to call you. Or email you. O-Or write to you. Since you never reply. I didn't say goodbye when I left because I really thought I would still be able to talk to you."

"Well, you're talking to me now. It's all in the past. Or whatever." Taiga was on his sixth burger, but even he didn't seem so spirited to eat all the burgers he ordered. I effectively killed the mood.

"Welcome to Japan," I said, standing up. "I hope you keep chasing after your basketball dreams, since that has always mattered to you more than anyone. And you too, Kuroko-kun."

"Are you leaving?" Kuroko asked. I hesitated at the question. Suddenly, I remembered my directionally-challenged predicament and I really wanted to cry.

With no dignity left in me, I turned around and said, "Actually, I don't know how to get home from here."

Kuroko blinked. Taiga had the audacity to snort. Strangely enough, that was enough to break the tension for me— for now.

"Don't... l-laugh," I stammered, feeling my face start to get hot.

"You're lost— ha. Wow. Typical Mitsu—"

"I said don't laugh!"


And that's how two ex-friends ended up taking me home. If my mom saw them, I could picture it: she'd probably have a nosebleed.

"I have a question," Taiga spoke up, looking down at both me and Kuroko. This broke the chain of Kuroko's voice of direction, as he somehow knew how to get to my neighbourhood from Maji Burger. "Just how strong is the Generation of Miracles?"

Ah, what a triggering question.

I closed my eyes, willing my veins to become veins of steel. I could answer this. But first, I gestured for Kuroko's milkshake, and he blinked at me, handing over his cup for me to sip on for a moment to gather and collect myself.

"If I played against any of them, how would I do?" Taiga continued. I almost spit out the milkshake in my mouth, but I managed to calmly swallow.

When I opened my mouth, Kuroko plainly answered, "You'd be destroyed instantly."

I choked on nothing. "K-Kuroko-kun! You didn't have to say it l-like that!"

"Were you gonna say the same thing?" Taiga asked, already starting to get irritated. I bit my lower lip hard.

"Um, w-well— not like that, but—"

"Are they really that good?"

"I-I-I don't really think you want me to—"

"You know, don't you? Mitsu."

"Okay, okay!" I relented. "They're more than that good. You would be destroyed by any of them. If Kuroko-kun says so, trust him, since I assume you guys have already played together, and— and I know you might be thinking if Kuroko is a miracle himself, then they must be easy, b-but Kuroko is different from them. They're... t-they're... there's a reason why they're called the Generation of Miracles, Tai-kun."

I didn't want to admit it so easily, but I knew I couldn't deny my own experiences with the Generation of Miracles. They all turned out to be monstrous basketball players. Also full of themselves. Also passionless. The scary list could go on.

And I knew Taiga would consider my words. I knew Alex, who was the main source of my analytical skills. He knew I deeply admired legendary basketball players like nothing else. And if he knew me that well, he'd know that I'd never acknowledge junior high Japanese students as good basketball players if they weren't the real deal. And I especially wouldn't agree with Kuroko's statement if what he said wasn't true.

But the fact was, I had never met monsters my age with so much skill that could easily, easily beat Taiga in their sleep.

Kuroko continued, taking the milkshake from my hands, "The five prodigies have each gone on to play for their own schools. One of those schools will stand at the top."

"That's great."

"Great?" I echoed.

"That's the kind of thing that lights a fire in me," Taiga said, smirking. He didn't look at either of us as he said it; it was like he had a goal blinding his eyes, and in his eyes, I could practically see fire.

I shivered.

The look in his eyes sparked a familiar feeling in me that dragged me into basketball in the first place.

"I've decided," Taiga said, his smirk growing wider. "I'll crush 'em all and become Japan's best player."

Kuroko glanced up, sipping from his milkshake. I shivered again, this time more violently. Then Taiga told me to hurry up and walk faster. But hearing those words made me want to laugh, cry, try to persuade him out of it, wonder how I should've told him the reality, and dare to wonder if he could really do it— all at once.

Hearing those words made me forget for a moment— and maybe he forgot too— that we were fighting, we weren't supposed to talk or be friends anymore, and that I wanted nothing to do with basketball.

For a moment, I wanted it all again. To embrace the feeling, the adrenaline, the hype, the sensation of watching people grow and change and play.

But I shook my head, letting out a breathy laugh. Silly Mitsu. You almost forgot the horrible things that came with it all, there're just too many, there's no way—

"And you're gonna be the best player's manager for our team," Taiga concluded, pointing at me.

After getting over the shock at his finger and probably the boldest statement I had ever heard, I let out that sound I knew as the laugh-scoff. "Yeah, and Kuroko-kun's gonna be the duo you need to beat them."

"That kid?"

"I'm a shadow," Kuroko spoke up, looking at the both of us. Somehow, he managed to stand in front of us, sipping almost nonchalantly at his milkshake. "But the stronger the light, the darker the shadow."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, fearing the seriousness in Kuroko's voice. Not that he ever tried to sound silly, or vary much in expression other than that deadpan look. But what I said earlier as a joke seemed like a genuine consideration from Kuroko.

In my years of knowing Kuroko, I knew that he was no flashy man. His basketball play style was so undetected, it was the point— by becoming the "shadow," the "light" accentuated. The lights of his team became brighter, the legendary "miracles," as he became the rumoured "Phantom Sixth Man." I'd seen it again and again... especially with Aomine and Kise.

Is he trying to say that Kagami Taiga would... actually...

"I will be the shadow to your light," Kuroko stated, "and make you the best player in Japan."

Taiga froze for a second, his eyes widening. My hands started to tremble, and I tried to hold them together. What was Kuroko thinking? What if Taiga became just like them? What if he— what if? What if?

I was stricken with fear and darted my eyes to the ground, trying to catch my breath, say something, anything. Anything to tell them don't.

"Shirayuki-san?" Kuroko called out, his hand waving in front of me. Another hand, much bigger and rougher, clamped my shoulder.

"Mitsu, breathe," Taiga ordered. I instinctively took a deep breath and looked up. I felt sweat on my forehead and neck, and kept breathing deeply, trying not to hyperventilate. "Are you okay?"

"Shirayuki-san has been through a lot," Kuroko said, to which I shook my head and forced my thoughts to ventilate.

"No, Kuroko-kun, you have been through a lot," I insisted, wiping my sweat and smiling in disbelief. "How are you able to say that? B-Become the shadow again? Are you serious right now? I just... can't believe... you think that this will help anything."

Taiga didn't say anything at first. He probably realized he didn't know anything at that moment— the realities Kuroko and I faced in Teikou, and even at that moment. But Taiga didn't stay silent for long, because truthfully, he wasn't that considerate.

"Mitsu, I don't know what you're afraid of, but I'll lay our pasts aside to say this," he said, hesitating and grunting for words. Whatever he was about to say was probably difficult for him to say. "I want to get strong. Really strong. And you know that. I've said this since we were kids playing basketball on the street. But I'm damn serious about becoming the best in Japan. And after Japan, America. And after America, the world. I don't want to quit basketball until I can't physically do it anymore. So are you just gonna cry about it because people related to basketball hurt you? Or will you help me with my dream?"

Taiga's dream.

I remembered it all of a sudden. Taiga used to dream so big, even Tatsuya and I would laugh at his ideas. But I could never truly mock it or knock it down. After all, it was clear by his monstrous physique and his passionate eyes he was steadily reaching for it all these years. He never gave up just because I left. (Well, duh.) I bet he even left Tatsuya to pursue this.

This.

The passion that I wish I had as brightly as he did.

"Do this with me, or don't. I don't really care. I'm gonna do what I want anyway." Taiga lifted his hand from my shoulder, and I felt the weight dissipate like I suffered a loss. "But I know how you are— only when it comes to basketball."

With one glance at Kuroko, I saw it. Kuroko's single nod in my direction.

What Taiga said was right. I'm not me without basketball. The three of us— we're not true to ourselves without the passion this game brings.

And that was when I finally allowed myself to cry.

"Mitsu?" Taiga said, startled by my sudden tears. I wiped them away with my fingers, huffing at the sky, refusing to make eye contact with the boys.

"We're almost home," Kuroko said, maybe to try and console me.

I smiled and shook my head, still trying to find the words to tell them sure, okay, maybe I'll give this one more chance.


Bonus for you— my mom stopped wondering why I was so late the minute she saw them. And it was just as I predicted.

"Excuse me," she said hurriedly, walking further into the living room with her hand over her nose.


Vers. 2023.01.18.