"So then the boy fell into a deep sleep…"
Allen could hear the voices singing above him as he laid on the ground, recognizing both a woman's voice and what sounded like a child's voice. He felt warm and safe, like there was a protective aura radiating around him.
"The breathing flames amongst the ashes became one, then two."
Allen recognized Agnes' voice immediately, but he couldn't put a finger on who the other voice belonged to. Yet, it seemed familiar to him.
Before he could open his eyes, he felt a hand on his forehead. Agnes stopped singing, but the child continued. "Allen, wake up."
"Hm?" He hummed softly.
"You need to wake up now." Agnes told him again, running her hands lovingly through his hair.
Carefully, Allen began to open his eyes. Everything was blurry, and he was barely able to make out Agnes' figure sitting next to him, or the silhouette of the child who's face he was unable to make out as they continued singing the melody to him.
"Wake up, Allen."
Letting out a deep breath, Allen opened his eyes slowly, the brightness pouring through the windows telling him that it was morning. The first thing he saw was his boyfriend, sitting cross legged on the bed next to him. He then felt what could only be his golem launch himself at his head, clinging to it with his tiny little hands. Smiling and letting out a breathy laugh, he raised his right hand to cup the golden golem. "Hi, Tim." Letting out a yawn and rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes, Allen directed his smile at Kanda. "Good morning." His smile widened at the feeling of Kanda's fingers lacing through his hair.
"How are you feeling?"
"A lot better. Thank you for taking care of me." Allen beamed, lifting his eyes to look at his boyfriend's beautiful face. But when he saw how exhausted and tense the other looked, his smile fell. "You look like you didn't sleep at all. I didn't keep you up all night, did I?" He asked, beginning to fret over him. He sat himself up on the bed, reaching over to cup his cheek with his right hand, using his thumb to stroke the skin gently. "I'm sorry."
Kanda swallowed silently, slowly raising his hand to rest over Allen's. He then tightened his grip on the hand beneath his, remaining silent.
His behavior was a bit strange to Allen. Besides his quietness, Kanda seemed very withdrawn and he could tell that something else had happened besides him being sick the day before. He scooted closer to his boyfriend, resting his cheek against his shoulder, looking up at him. Looking down, Kanda was drawn immediately to his shimmering silver eyes, the boy's overall expression tugging at his heartstrings. "Yuu."
Kanda shut his eyes tightly and turned his head away.
"What happened last night?"
He knew that Allen was starting to put the pieces together, but Kanda couldn't bring himself to speak of what had happened the night before. It was almost as if he were afraid that if he spoke about it, the event would replay itself and he would once again be met by a pair of threatening golden eyes.
He tried to ignore the warm and comforting hand on his cheek. Behind his closed lids, those golden eyes burned brightly into his mind, into his soul, and his words from the night prior haunted him over and over.
"You won't be able to stop me from awakening. No one will."
"No one will."
"Yuu, breathe. Look at me."
Breathe? Kanda didn't even notice that he was holding his breath until he felt himself becoming light-headed. Letting out the withheld breath shakily, he slowly and hesitantly opened his eyes, finding Allen staring at him. His eyes were filled with so much kindness and love, that in itself served to relax him and put his fear of the Fourteenth returning that morning to rest.
For the moment, anyway.
Swallowing, Kanda forced himself to say the words he desperately wanted to keep to himself. "... The Fourteenth came last night." The hand on his cheek twitched before lifting away from his face, lingering near it. Allen's expression was shocked, his eyes wide.
The pieces started to connect in Allen's head. He wasn't sick. The fever, the headache, the pain. They were all from Nea attempting to take control from him. And given how shaken Kanda was, it seemed that he had succeeded, even if just for a little bit. Slowly, Allen's hand fell, resting by his side on the bed as he continued to stare at Kanda, his expression blank as he tried to come to terms with what had happened. The hand that Allen dropped moved again, running over the top of his belly twice before settling there, his gaze remaining emotionless as he struggled to process what Kanda was telling him. He stayed quiet, waiting for Kanda to go on.
Neither of them said a word before Kanda regained himself, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I'm not sure what time it was, but… You suddenly stopped breathing so hard and you got quiet… I heard you sit up and say something to Tim, except it wasn't you. It was the Fourteenth." He paused for a moment as he recalled what happened next. "... I froze. I couldn't get myself to fucking move. I just couldn't believe that after all this time, after all our progress, he had you in his clutches like that. Not an attempt. He had you." Despite the boy's calm demeanor, Kanda knew that Allen was breaking apart on the inside. He wanted so much to protect him from what was happening, from the truth. But he couldn't. He had to tell him. So, he continued. "... He taunted me. He warned me that once the baby came, he wouldn't let anyone stop him from awakening."
Kanda watched as Allen's eyes widened, the hand on his belly tensing. He thought for a moment that something had hurt, or that the baby moved in an awkward way, but Kanda soon realized his mistake when Allen spoke.
"Nea knows about the baby?"
'God dammit.' Kanda thought to himself. 'I didn't want to blurt it out like that.'
"He threatened her." Allen stated with certainty.
But much to Allen's surprise, Kanda replied, "No." When Allen's expression morphed into one of surprise, Kanda added, "He seemed almost… Patient with her. But still, it felt sickening, seeing him be the one to interact with her and not you. I didn't know if he was going to try to kill her or not, I…" He trailed off and shut his eyes for a moment to calm and gather himself. "You don't understand how powerless and angry he made me. He tricked me and made me think I was hurting you. He threatened to break apart our family once the baby is born. And the entire time, I felt like I couldn't protect our daughter from him if he did decide to harm her. I hate him, Allen. I hate him."
Allen felt ill. He felt absolutely sick hearing the words spill from his boyfriend's mouth. The Fourteenth had control of him, while he was pregnant. It was bad enough when it had happened for a few seconds just a few weeks earlier, but from what Kanda was saying, this time had been longer.
Far too long.
Allen swallowed against the lump forming in his throat and tried to ignore the rising nausea that was beginning to overcome him. His hand raised to cover his mouth as he sat in the bed in silence. He could feel Kanda's hand on his back, rubbing circles onto his skin, but the motion did little to soothe him. He swallowed again. His throat was dry and scratchy and with the lump that remained there, he felt like he was on the verge of choking. "Kanda?" He heard a hum in acknowledgement. "Can I have water? Please?"
With a silent nod, the swordsman retracted his hand and turned his body so he was sitting on the edge of their bed. Allen closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, trying to focus on the sound of trickling water as Kanda filled his glass from the night before. He kept them closed, even as Kanda guided the glass into his hand, making sure he was gripping it. Cautiously, Allen lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip, and then another.
Once he felt like he'd be okay to speak, he opened his eyes and set the glass down on the table next to him. "... What else did he say, Kanda?"
"Besides stating that he's going to take control the second our kid is born and calling me a sucker, he really didn't say anything." Kanda admitted. Allen looked at him skeptically. "One thing that did stand out to me was his reaction after something I said to him." Though Allen didn't outwardly respond, Kanda knew he was waiting for him to continue. "He referred to you as a casualty of war, a sacrifice." Allen's eyes widened. "I think you can imagine why that got to me. He knew it did."
'Alma…' Allen thought to himself, covering his face in his hand. The bright, smiling face of Alma as a child flashed in his memory, from when Wisely showed him visions of Kanda's past. Tears burned in his eyes as he let his hair shield his face from Kanda's view. To take a shot like that was cruel, and it nearly destroyed Allen to think that while he didn't say it, the words came from his own mouth.
"It pissed me off, but then I asked him if that woman you were telling me about was just a casualty of war, too. He got angry."
"Agnes?" Allen asked softly.
"Whatever her name is. I think he killed her."
In his chest, Allen felt his heart clench and stop for a moment, letting Kanda's words sink in. "... Why would you say that?"
"When I asked him that, I could see that he was trying to kill me with just a look alone. I hit a sore spot." Kanda told him. "If it weren't true, he would have been defensive about it."
"I… He couldn't have. She speaks so fondly of him. She wants to save him." Allen said, staring down at his hands placed on his lap, one of his tears spilling over and dribbling down his cheek. "She loves him. How could she feel that way about someone who killed her?"
His statement didn't get a verbal response from Kanda. Allen turned his head to look at him and saw his dark blue eyes staring sternly at him. "You still love me, don't you? After I stabbed you with Innocence and started all of this nonsense in the first place."
"You didn't- Kanda, that's not the same thing." Allen insisted, firm with his statement. "You didn't start this. It was going to happen, it was only a matter of time. And you didn't kill me."
Kanda looked like he had more to say, but he had shut his mouth and turned his head away. Allen wanted to know what else was on his mind. He didn't want him to keep those thoughts to himself and bottle them up. He carefully reached his hand over to brush his fingers against his cheek. Kanda lifted his hand to place against Allen's for a moment before he took it and lowered it, his stern gaze returning. "One of them is lying to you, Allen."
One of them is lying to you.
Allen couldn't bring himself to get himself out of bed, even as Kanda did so, freshening up and getting dressed for the day. When he heard Allen's stomach growl, he realized that his boyfriend hadn't moved from his spot. "Hey. Why don't we go down to the cafeteria and get something into your stomach? We can come back to this later."
'I'm not even hungry.' Allen thought to himself, pressing his lips together. At the moment, even thinking about eating was making his stomach uneasy. He felt like his skin was crawling, like there were a million disgusting, invisible bugs on him. Invading his body, just like Nea was.
"Oi, Moyashi."
Plastering on one of his best fake smiles, Allen got out of the bed, letting out a soft sigh. "I'll meet you down there. I think I'm going to wash up before I head down to eat."
Kanda was scowling at him skeptically, arms crossed. "Okay. I'll wait. I'm not going down there without you."
"But-"
"I can wait a few minutes. I'm not going to let you try to skip out on breakfast."
Allen giggled softly. "You do care about me."
"Tch." Kanda rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, his cheeks turning slightly pink from the comment. "Just hurry up and go take a shower already."
The walk down to the dining hall was a quiet one, which was fine to both Allen and Kanda. Given the events of the night before, some quiet to focus on their racing thoughts was needed.
Especially Allen, who had been unconscious through the whole thing, only to wake up and hear about it from his boyfriend.
Something that had happened in his own body that he had no recollection of, let alone any control.
And that felt absolutely disgusting.
That's all that Allen could think of as the two of them approached the hall. How disgusting he felt, how he felt like a stranger in his own body. In an attempt to comfort both himself and the child in his womb, he closed his cardigan over his stomach and wrapped his arms around himself to keep it there. Though Komui had informed him that he was a tad underweight, Allen still felt that it was getting a bit hard for him to keep his bump hidden, and that fact surely didn't help ease any of his anxiety. It seemed like no one besides the people who knew had noticed, but to him, it was glaringly obvious.
Shaking that thought out of his mind for now, he silently followed Kanda inside, taking in his surroundings. It was a bit overwhelming since he'd spent the day before bedridden, but it was kind of nice to smell Jerry's delicious cooking again.
Speaking of the devil, Jerry was the first to notice when the young couple approached his window, his entire being lighting up. "Allen, honey! It's so nice to see you up and about! Feeling any better?"
His concern brought a smile to Allen's face. "I am, I think. I'm very hungry, though."
"I bet you are." Jerry said. "I heard that you didn't touch the food I sent up to you yesterday. But no matter, you're here now, and I'm going to cook you something delicious. So just sit back and I'll have it out to you shortly."
Allen's smile widened with appreciation. With everything in his life constantly changing, he was happy to have Jerry remain his usual, caring, and whimsical self.
Suddenly, he was nearly knocked over as someone threw themselves at him, their arms wrapping around his shoulders. He took a step forward, nearly falling into Kanda. Said man whipped around and helped keep him steady.
"Allen! I'm so glad you're up and about!" Lenalee exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "God, I was so worried about you!"
"Lenalee," Allen breathed out, feeling relief that it was just his friend, "you nearly knocked me off my feet."
"And me. Be more careful." Kanda hissed defensively.
Lenalee ignored Kanda and released Allen, letting him turn around to face her. Immediately the back of her hand was pressed to his forehead, and then to his cheek. "You're not warm, thank God. I was so worried about you yesterday."
Allen smiled softly and thankfully, taking her hands and lowering them, giving them a reassuring squeeze. "I'm fine, Lenalee. Just a small bug."
"An annoying bug." Kanda grumbled under his breath. Allen nearly elbowed him in the ribs for the comment, but Lenalee didn't seem to notice. She just locked her arm with Allen's, pulling him toward the table where their friends sat and away from his boyfriend.
"Sit down, Allen. Lavi and I will bring your food when it's ready." She told him, making sure he sat. She gave his shoulders a pat before joining him. She sat down with Lavi across from Allen.
"Yeah, don't want you to get light headed and fall over again." Lavi said.
Allen frowned, looking at him skeptically. "How did you know that I got light headed and fell over?"
"Chief told us." Lavi answered bluntly.
"Lavi!"
"What? Not our fault that your brother is a blabbermouth!" Lavi said defensively.
"That's all he told us, though." Lenalee said while giving Lavi side eye. "I mean, he told us that you and the baby were okay, but I had a feeling that he was just saying that so he wouldn't worry us."
"Well, I haven't had a chance to see your brother or the nurses this morning. I wanted to eat something to get some of my energy back first. But as far as I can tell, she's doing just fine." Allen said with a reassuring smile. He watched as he saw the relief flood his two friends, their shoulders relaxing. Kanda then made his way over, placing his tray down next to Lenalee. Once seated, he placed a glass of water down in front of Allen and began to eat.
"That's good to hear." Lenalee said. "Now you just have to worry about getting your energy back, like you said."
Kanda made a small noise, swallowing his food. "Speaking of which." He said, picking up the glass of water in front of Allen and placing it closer. "Drink it."
"I am, I am!" Allen insisted, picking up the glass and sipping it carefully. "You want me to piss myself in front of the whole cafeteria, Kanda?"
"Allen Walker." Lenalee articulated in a clear outrage while Lavi burst into laughter next to her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to slip out."
"Yes you did. You have a vulgar little mouth." Kanda said before taking another mouthful of noodles.
"Shut up!" Allen exclaimed, his cheeks turning red. "It's you, Kanda. Whenever I'm around you, my filter just disappears."
"You don't have a filter, Moyashi. Our kid is going to wind up with a filthy mouth and it's going to be all your fault." Kanda said. The calmness in his voice only served to frustrate his boyfriend even more. It was taking everything in him not to kick Kanda in the knee under the table.
"You curse way more than I do." Allen said, taking another sip of water. He glared when Kanda snorted.
"Not even close."
"I don't know, I might have to agree with Allen there, Kanda." Lenalee said, giving a small shrug.
Kanda clicked his tongue and scowled. "That's because you're still falling for his fake gentleman façade."
"You know who could settle that debate?" Lavi butt in suddenly, pointing his index finger. "Tim."
Allen half rolled his eyes, putting his glass down. "You really want Tim to go through every occurrence of Kanda and I cursing? We'll be here for hours."
"Why not? At least it would be entertaining." Lavi giggled, resting his chin against his fist. "Besides, I would think his records would go back that far, right Allen?"
"I don't know, Lavi. I never… tried it..." Allen said as realization dawned on him mid thought.
He never did try to go back that far. And part of him wondered if maybe, just maybe, Timcanpy's records would be able to go back even farther than that. Farther than his time at the Order. His eyes shot to the golden golem, who jumped when he saw the look his Master was giving him.
"I thought that Komui said that Tim's records were damaged." Kanda said, looking at the redhead with furrowed brows.
"He said that some of them were damaged and unretrievable, but not all of them." Allen answered, keeping his eye on the golden golem. Tim was sweating, fearing what Allen was thinking.
Lavi managed to catch that look as well. He too wondered what Allen was thinking. If it had to do with Timcanpy's records, he could only imagine that there were so many things he could look into, besides all the times that Allen and Kanda cursed each other out.
Lavi let that thought go when he saw both Krory and Timothy, along with Emilia, approach from behind Allen. And when the older vampire realized that his young, ivory haired friend was sitting at the table instead of being condemned to bed rest, he let out a cry of delight and rushed forward, just barely managing to shove his tray onto the table before embracing Allen from behind.
"Allen! You're okay! I feared that you had come down with some kind of incurable sickness!" Krory exclaimed, hugging him tightly and resting his cheek against the boy's white hair.
"All of you are such worry-warts. I'm okay, it was just a little cold!" Allen chuckled, tilting his head up. "I'm sorry that I worried everyone." Soon, someone else was also hanging off of him.
"Don't tell me what to do! I'll worry all I want!" Timothy said defiantly, making Allen laugh a little harder. Lavi and Lenalee took that opportunity to get up and get Allen's food.
At the table behind him, Chaoji sat down with his brother and Kie, along with some other Finders, preferring to sit away from the young Exorcist. He even watched in disbelief as Lenalee and Lavi returned with food for him, shaking his head. Sighing and shaking his head, he focused on the conversation with his friends.
"Things were very quiet without you here, Allen." Emilia said, after situating Timothy and herself in their seats. She had the boy sit next to Allen. Lenalee and Lavi opted to sit on either side of Kanda, much to his frustration. "And not in a good way! Even Timothy was quieter than usual!"
"Well duh! Things are more fun with Allen here. It's funny to see him argue with the big dummy with long hair over there." He explained, pointing right at the outraged swordsman.
"What did you say, little brat?" Kanda questioned.
"I said you're a big dummy with long hair!" Timothy spouted off with confidence. "And there's nothing you can do about it!"
"Timothy, that's enough! Don't be rude." Emilia scolded.
Kanda moved to get up out of his seat, but Lenalee quickly pulled him back down. "Hey-"
"He's a kid, Kanda. What are you gonna do, hit him?"
Kanda scowled at the grinning brat, narrowing his eyes. "I'd like to."
"That's not nice you know, Kanda." Allen said, spooning some of his food into his mouth after blowing on it a bit to cool it down. Timothy began to giggle, feeling triumphant.
Kanda then, like a child throwing a tantrum, crossed his arms and glowered. "I hate kids." He grumbled under his breath.
But not quiet enough for it to go unnoticed by both Lenalee and Allen. Or Lavi for that matter.
"Did you just say that you hate kids, Yuu?" Lavi asked.
"So what if I did? He's fucking annoying!" Kanda shouted, gesturing toward Timothy.
"You're a jerk!" Timothy yelled back.
"ENOUGH!" Emilia yelled, scolding the both of them. "Timothy, what did I tell you about instigating? And YOU." Emilia shouted, directing her rage at Kanda. "How old are you?! Arguing and cursing at a child like that! Grow up!"
The silence that followed was deafening. In his embarrassment, he noticed that everyone was staring at him and he could see the shock in their expressions. What he didn't realize was why they were staring at him. Everyone at the table, save for Emilia and Timothy, were shocked that the words 'I hate kids' had come out of the swordsman's mouth while his pregnant lover was sitting across from him. Said pregnant lover had thrown a disappointed scowl in his direction, but soon looked away from him and turned his attention back to his breakfast.
Timothy pouted for a second before he leaned over and suddenly latched onto Allen, hugging him. The action startled the older boy, who looked down at him in surprise. "Allen would never be mean to me like you are." He said, making one more jab at the General, sticking his tongue out at him while Emilia wasn't looking.
Allen snorted and reached his left hand across his body, ruffling Timothy's hair. "Stop teasing Kanda, Timothy. Even if he is a big jerk." Allen said, mumbling the last part under his breath, cupping his hand over his mouth. "If you keep going, his head might explode."
Timothy began to snicker, covering his mouth and sitting back straight in his seat.
The conversation picked back up after that, though Kanda and Allen remained mostly quiet. Allen still had what Lavi suggested earlier in his mind. He shoveled through his breakfast as quickly as he could before he excused himself.
"Allen! Where are you going?" Lenalee called out after him. Allen smiled at her, turning his head back as he continued walking.
"There's just something I want to check up on. I'll meet you all in the training room later, I promise." He said over his shoulder.
"You always say that!" Lavi called out.
Chaoji watched as the younger Exorcist left the dining hall from his seat. "I just don't understand." He mumbled softly.
"Don't understand what?" Kie asked, hearing his friend.
Chaoji sighed, picking his head back up. "Allen Walker is a traitor, how could they just let him back and accept him so easily?" He said, gesturing to the table in front of him. A few other Finders sitting at their table heard him, listening to what he would say next. "He's going to betray us again, I know it. It's going to come back to bite them, all of them." A few Finders agreed, nodding, a few 'yeahs' thrown in.
One Finder in particular clenched his fist on the table. Young Stefan picked up his head, giving the Exorcist a stern look. He usually kept quiet and to himself, but he couldn't sit there and listen anymore. "Allen Walker is a good man. He's caring and kind, even to you, who's needlessly cruel to him."
Chaoji narrowed his eyes at the Finder. The poor man didn't know any better. "You don't know anything about him, do you? Who he is, or what he's done?"
"I know that he treats me with respect and that he cares about everyone's well-being, which is more than what I can say for a few people sitting at this table." He said, clenching his fists tighter as his nerves began to get the better of him.
"Oh yeah?" One Finder spoke up, ready to show Stef a lesson for being such a snarky little crumb. Stef grew anxious watching the man stand up.
"I have to agree with Stefan." Toma spoke up suddenly from where he sat down at the table with his own cell of Finders, surprising the group that sat with Chaoji. The other Finder slowly sat down, relieving Stef. "My first mission with Sir Walker, he saved my life even though I insisted that he leave me behind. So I can't agree with you that Sir Walker is some kind of monster, despite what you believe."
Chaoji couldn't believe it. They were all brainwashed. How could they not know that Allen was on the enemy's side? That he could even think about saving any of the Noah, or that he was a Noah himself? He shut his mouth, dropping the subject. They'd all find out the hard way.
After Allen had left, Kanda's gaze lingered on the entryway to the dining hall where Allen had been just a moment ago, holding his head in his hand, letting it cover his mouth. The bean sprout's exit was somewhat strange, and he could tell that he had something on his mind, besides whatever Kanda had done to upset him during breakfast. While he was lost in thought, the brat across from him opened his mouth again.
"Allen got fat." Timothy stated out of the blue before he looked over to see Emilia glaring at him, red in the face. The others, instead, wore expressions of shock. "You can't tell when he's wearing something on top, but I definitely noticed it when I hugged him."
"Timothy Hearst."
"What?" Timothy asked, raising his hands and shrugging, not understanding why his tutor was mad at him. "It's not a bad thing, but it's true!"
Kanda gaped at the annoying child as he was scolded by the young woman, his words repeating in his head. If Timothy, a child, could recognize that Allen's body was changing, how fast would Central begin to catch on the next time that they saw him?
Which, if he recalled correctly, would be very soon.
Having had enough, Kanda pushed himself away from the table and left without another word, even when Lenalee questioned him. He had to go find Allen and talk with him about their inevitable visit with Central that was creeping up on them.
"Yuu, wait up!"
Letting out a low growl, Kanda whipped his head around. "Will you leave me the fuck alone? And stop calling me-"
"I wanted to ask you about Allen's sickness yesterday."
"What about it?"
In his emerald eyes, Kanda found seriousness in them, even a touch of concern. "It wasn't a cold, was it? Was last night another attempt?"
Kanda let a heavy breath out through his nose, becoming defensive. "Are you going to report to Bookman?"
"I'm asking as his friend, Kanda." Lavi said. The seriousness never left his expression, even as Kanda continued to stare at him skeptically.
He could be lying. This subject was not something that Kanda was willing to mess around with.
"I know you're worried about keeping him and the baby safe, Kanda. This information stays between you and I." He insisted. When Kanda still didn't answer, he sighed softly. "I won't even tell Lenalee."
The thought almost made Kanda laugh. Almost. That blabbermouth couldn't keep anything to himself when it came to that girl. Yet, from his unchanging expression, he felt like the other Exorcist was telling the truth.
Dammit.
"... It was. He appeared in the middle of the night. After that, the fever broke and his headache went away."
Lavi swallowed silently, nodding. "I thought so. Is that why he was in a big rush to leave?"
"I don't think so." Kanda admitted, shaking his head. "He's obsessed with this woman he keeps seeing in his dreams, who he says is connected to the Fourteenth."
Lavi's brows furrowed in confusion. "A woman?"
"Yeah. Agatha or something." Kanda said, half rolling his eyes. "Allen says that she was the Fourteenth's lover. Other than that, we don't know who she is, what relevance she had in the Fourteenth's mission, or even what she did when she was alive. All I know is that anyone who was an ally to that conniving, two faced murderer is an enemy to me. Even General Cross."
Lavi remained silent, mulling over the information in his head. This was the first time he was hearing about a woman that Allen was seeing in dreams. It sounded highly suspicious to him. Were they dreams? Or were they memories that the Fourteenth was further implanting into his vessel? Before he knew it, Kanda was walking away from him. "Where are you going now?"
"To look for Moyashi." Kanda called out without turning around.
"Are you gonna apologize to him?"
His steps came to a halt. Kanda knew that he wasn't just overreacting. Allen was mad at him. "What do I have to apologize for?" Lavi just stared at him, blinking in disbelief. "What?"
"Kanda, you said that you hate kids in front of Allen."
"So?"
"... Did you forget that he's pregnant? With a kid?" Lavi asked, keeping his voice low. "Your kid, to be specific." It took longer for the look of realization to dawn on his friend's face than Lavi would have hoped, but it happened nonetheless.
"I didn't mean my kid." Kanda said defensively.
"That's not what Allen thinks. It sounded more like a general statement."
Kanda tsk'd and pinched the bridge of his nose. That stupid bean sprout, he should have known better than that. He added an apology to his list of things to talk to Allen about when he finally found him. Leaving Lavi by himself, he started his search, beginning with his own bedroom.
"Timcanpy!" Allen called out, running after the golden golem, as best as he could in his condition. "Stop running away from me!"
He felt like he was running a marathon when normally, something like this would have been much easier. But he was struggling to keep up with his golem and catch his breath simultaneously. Not only that, but he had disturbed and upset his baby with his antics and she was now throwing punches and kicks in an attempt to get him to stop.
There was a silver lining when Tim made a wrong turn into a dead-end, giving Allen a chance to snag him by the tail in an iron grip with his Innocence hand. Sucking in a breath, Allen wheezed and put his other hand on his knee, hunching over. "Dang it, Tim… I can't… I can't run like I normally do… Why'd you make me chase after you like that?" Allen asked, his breathing finally starting to even out. He kept his grip firm as Tim tried to fly away with all of his might. Allen pouted at him. He couldn't check his records out in the middle of the hall like this, and he definitely didn't want to risk anyone seeing the two of them.
The library was right there. Maybe it was quiet and empty enough for him to slip into the back and sneak away into an ark gate. No one would notice.
Right?
So, with that thought in his mind and Timcanpy still clutched firmly in his grip, Allen made his way to the library.
As usual, the library was quiet and virtually empty. It was somewhere where Allen liked to go when he needed just a moment of peace and quiet, even if he wasn't big on reading.
That was another thing that he thought of as he found himself walking along the rows of books, lightly touching the spines as he went. He would have to teach his child how to read. Growing up, reading wasn't among his top priorities. He and Mana had a hard enough time traveling and just trying to get by without adding learning how to read into the mix. He wasn't terrible at it. He just… Wasn't good.
Sighing heavily, Allen hung his head back and let his hand rest on the shelf. He still needed to read up on what he had in store for the rest of his pregnancy, not to mention the birth. He had no idea how that was even going to work. There was no way for her to come out when she was ready. Would they have to cut him open? And then there was actually raising the child-
"Are you looking for something?"
The soft voice nearly made Allen jump out of his skin and he had let go of Timcanpy's tail. Turning his head quickly, he saw the female librarian standing behind him, looking a bit surprised herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."
"It's okay, I was spacing out. I didn't even hear you." Allen said, his hand on his chest in a feeble attempt to get his heart to stop racing. He felt his baby move in response to his sudden shock and he tried his best to seem normal and not draw attention to his concealed bump.
"You looked a bit…" The young woman trailed off, trying to think of the proper word. "... Despaired? I didn't know if you were having trouble looking for something or not."
Allen managed to calm down a bit, feigning a smile. "Oh, no. Not particularly, at least. I was just thinking that I wanted to brush up on my reading comprehension. If I can manage to find any free time, that is." He said with a chuckle.
"Of course. I know how busy you Exorcists are." The blonde said, clasping her hands in front of her. "Were you looking for something now?"
"Oh, well… No. Honestly, I was just looking for somewhere quiet to collect my thoughts." Allen said sheepishly.
"Well, you certainly picked the perfect place for some peace and quiet." She said. That got a chuckle out of the young man. "Well, if you do decide that you need some help, Mark and I will be happy to help you."
Allen briefly wondered why the leader of one of the Section Leaders of the science division would be helping in the library before realizing that she wasn't referring to Mark Burroughs, but the other librarian that he saw occasionally. His name was also Mark, but he couldn't recall his last name. "I'll do that. Thank you, Irina." He began to turn away to continue on his way, but he noticed that the librarian's blue eyes had widened. Fearing that he had offended her somehow, he looked at her questioningly.
"You remembered my name?" She asked, surprise clear in her voice.
"Of course. You helped Lenalee and I that one time when we couldn't find the book she was looking for and you introduced yourself. You have a very important job here. If it weren't for you, dummies like me would never be able to find what we're looking for." Allen said with a chuckle.
The librarian sheepishly clasped her hands together in front of her and grinned, nodding. "Okay, well, I'll let you go on your way, then."
Allen returned the smile and nodded before continuing on his way to the back of the library.
Irina returned to the front desk where her partner was sitting. The brunet looked over at her as she sat down. "What happened? Was he looking for something?"
"He said no, just wanted somewhere quiet to sit." She said calmly, fixing her glasses a bit.
Mark could tell from her body language that something else had happened. "Did he say something to you?"
Irina played with her fingers on the desk quietly for a moment. "He remembered my name."
Mark blinked and stared at her for a few seconds. "I remember your name, too, you know."
"I would hope that you do." Irina said to her husband. "It's just that I'd only introduced myself once, briefly. A while ago, too." She said, looking down at her hands. "No one ever really remembers us. Besides you updating the Archives, I don't feel like anyone considers our jobs to be important. So for him to acknowledge and remember me… I don't know. It felt nice."
Mark hummed softly in response. He understood what she was saying, and he did agree to some extent. "He's the one with all the rumors swirling around, right?" He asked curiously, no malice in his voice. "They say that he's allies with the Noah and the Millennium Earl."
Irina pressed her lips together. "They let him return to the Order, didn't they? Why would they do that if he were allies with the Earl?" She asked.
"Do you trust him, Irina?"
"I do." Irina said confidently, nodding once. The man then nodded in response.
"Okay."
Irina smiled at him before beginning to work on some paperwork in front of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw white light peeking over the top of the back bookshelves. When she fully turned her attention in that direction, there was nothing.
Tim flew into the piano room at light speed, nearly crashing into the wall. He turned around and watched as the Ark gate closed behind Allen, his master looking sternly at him. Slowly backed into the corner, Tim began to panic.
"Why won't you cooperate with me, Timcanpy?" Allen questioned, growing frustrated as the golem avoided his gaze. Taking a deep breath to keep himself calm, Allen took a deep breath. "Timcanpy, I really need your help right now. I need to see if I can figure out what happened. I need you to show me a moment from Nea's past."
….
"Tim?"
….
"Timcanpy!" Allen exclaimed. "Did you hear me? Can you show me… Show me what happened the day Nea died?" His eyes widened when the golem began to shake his head, refusing. "What do you mean 'no'? Can you not access them, or do you just not want to?" Timcanpy once again shook his head. "Okay, then… What about… What about the day that he betrayed the Noah? Can you show me that?"
Again, another shake of the head.
"Timcanpy, why are you being so difficult right now?" Allen asked desperately. "Don't you want to help me? If I can just figure out what happened between him and the Noah, him and Agnes… Him and Mana…" Allen said, pausing.
There was so much that he couldn't begin to understand. He had no idea where to even start. For all he knew, Timcanpy wasn't even able to show him those memories. He'd been destroyed, after all, and he had no idea what records they were able to recover.
Feeling lightheaded, Allen found the back of his knees hitting the piano stool, allowing him to lower himself onto it, promptly hunching over and holding his head in his hands. Before he knew it, his breath was hitching and tears were falling as his feelings of being overwhelmed finally boiled over.
'God, can't I go two minutes without crying?' Allen thought to himself, feeling absolutely pitiful. His cries echoed off of the walls of the mostly empty room, only adding to his ever increasing feelings of loneliness.
He was then startled by a sudden movement in his stomach, the reason that he couldn't go two minutes without crying reminding him that he wasn't completely alone.
He then tried to get a hold of himself, sitting up and running his bands through his hair while he let out a long, drawn out breath, closing his eyes and clasping his hands on the back of his neck. He took a deep breath in, and then out, repeating that process a few times.
'Calm down.' He thought to himself. 'Calm down… Stress isn't good for her. Breathe…'
If he could just put the pieces together, see where everything went wrong…
Maybe then everything would be okay. Somehow, he could fix things.
He could fix things, and then he would be free to raise his baby with Kanda.
That's all he wanted. His one simple, selfish desire was just to be able to raise his baby with the love of his life. Without consequence. Without the threat of losing either of them at any moment.
It was a wish where he felt that the longer he held onto it, the more he felt foolish for believing he'd ever be able to achieve it.
The world they lived in was cruel and dangerous. And fate had rarely ever been on Allen's side. If he didn't find a way to keep Nea suppressed, or find a way to exorcise him for good, then that wish would never have a chance of becoming a reality.
Another kick in his gut startled him and got his attention instantly. He looked down at himself, lovingly running his right hand over the bump, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I'm sorry for bothering you so much this morning, my love." The movements calmed down underneath his hand, turning to soft nudges against his palm. "I just… I want everything to be okay when you get here. I want to make sure you have a chance."
"Everything is going to be okay."
Allen's head shot up in an instant upon hearing the familiar voice, his eyes wide.
Nothing could have prepared him to see Mana's smiling, comforting face. Timcanpy was perched on the floor, projecting a video. In it was Mana, kneeling down and placing his hands on the shoulders of his younger self.
He remembered that day clearly.
Mana had left him alone for a few minutes to find them something to eat, leaving Allen alone with their things. A thief had taken advantage of the vulnerable child, threatening him and ransacking their belongings. Once Mana returned and caught sight of the stranger and saw that his son was in danger, the thief had fled, leaving Allen frightened.
"It's going to be alright, Allen. I promise, you're going to be alright." Mana said reassuringly, gently pulling the young boy into his arms. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there. I'm so sorry."
"B-But, Mana," Allen cried, hiccuping as he pulled back to look up at his father, "I let that man steal our things! You asked me to watch our things-"
"You're just a little boy, Allen. You shouldn't have to hold someone off to protect our things, and I would never expect that of you. I'm just glad that you're okay." Mana said, carefully holding the boy's head between his hands.
Allen felt both like he had been pierced through his heart and that a wave of relief had washed over him. Mana wasn't mad at him. Not only that, he was more concerned about him being hurt than he was about losing their things.
He hated crying. He really did. But he couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes as he cried loudly, letting his father pull him back into his arms, holding him close. Immediately, Allen felt warm and safe, like there was a protective barrier around him.
He'd never felt like this before. He never had a parent who loved and protected him before. And for the first time in his life, he felt like he could let his guard down because he knew Mana would be there to watch over him.
Tears dribbled down his cheek as he watched the small memory, unable to help but smile and curl his arms around his belly. "That's the type of parent I want to be. I want to protect my baby no matter what. I want her to feel safe and I want her to know that nothing will happen to her as long as I'm around."
With that, Allen was ready to call it a day on this attempt of getting answers, already feeling more tired than when he started. As he moved to stand up, though, Timcanpy started a new projection. There was a bit of interference, the picture a bit static at first and the audio crackling. But then it cleared, revealing what Tim was trying to show him.
"Mana, I'm scared."
Allen's eyes widened. The picture before him showed a distressed and worried looking Agnes. She wore a ball gown and her hair and makeup were done beautifully. His eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the way her dark brown curls cascaded down her back like a waterfall.
"My appearance isn't that frightening, is it?" Her company's voice said with a chuckle.
Mana. The man in her company was Mana.
This was the second time Allen had seen Mana in a way he didn't remember. This Mana was the spitting image of his brother, but with hair that rivaled Agnes' in length and volume.
But his voice, while very different, held a sense of familiarity to it. Somehow, hearing it, Allen could just tell that it really was his father standing before him, albeit in a recording.
"I'm serious!" Agnes exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "I'm really scared. What if they figure it out?"
Mana smiled reassuringly at her. "They won't figure it out. They have no idea and they have no reason to suspect you."
"If they do, they'll kill me."
Mana gently unclasped her hands, holding both of them in his. "Agnes. Nea won't let them hurt you. I won't let them hurt you. I promise." Mana told her, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze. "Come, now. It's time to go or we'll be late. Timcanpy, let's go."
Allen's eyes continued to stay on Mana as the two of them moved from the room, the golden golem seeming to follow. The longer he watched, the more he was able to pick out bits and pieces that he remembered from Mana. The way he walked, the manner in which he spoke. He had the same warm, amber colored eyes as he remembered. Even the top hat that he managed to snag on the way out was familiar to Allen.
The man he was looking at truly was Mana.
Shakily, Allen found himself reaching toward the projection, an aching, longing feeling in his chest.
Mana was right there, just a touch away.
But just as his fingers nearly brushed against the projection, the picture flickered, making him flinch a bit. Nea now stood at the bottom of the staircase as they descended, a warm smile on his face.
"You look absolutely marvelous, my dear." He said, reaching his hand out to take hers, holding it tenderly. "My angel."
"You don't look half bad yourself, you know." Agnes said back, grinning with a blush as a kiss was placed on the back of her hand. "Both of you look very handsome." She linked her arm with Nea and then the three went on their way, walking toward the front door.
"Now," Nea spoke up once again once they entered the carriage, "once we arrive, the rest of the Noah won't be the only ones there. The ballroom will be filled with human aristocrats and whatnot. You know who they like to surround themselves with." The two nodded, paying attention as the youngest spoke. "At some point, they'll separate and have a meeting to discuss the Earl."
Allen could hear the slight disdain in the Noah's voice, his expression to match.
"Cross will be on standby outside, just in case we need him. Timcanpy, you'll have to do your best to record our meeting. Any little thing you can pick up that we can use against them is helpful." He looked up, seeing the sudden anxiety strike the woman sitting next to him. He moved to grab her hand, giving it a squeeze. "We'll be okay. Everything is going to go smoothly. Then we can go home."
Agnes nodded, clutching his hand tighter. Once they arrived, both brothers stepped out and Nea helped his girlfriend out. She walked a bit ahead of him and he muttered a 'hold on', reaching forward to fix her hair, using the the long locks to cover the corner of an easily recognizable, faint green glow.
"Innocence?!" Allen questioned out loud, sitting forward in his seat, eyes wide as the picture began to become static.
Agnes was an Accommodator!
"Wait, Tim, go back! Just a few seconds! And pause it at the end!" Allen requested, moving to kneel on the floor. As the memory rewinded and slowed down, he once again found the glow of Innocence radiating from a spot on her back, covered by her hair. He looked down at his left hand, the same dim glow of green gleaming for a moment. He then clenched it tightly.
Agnes was in love with a Noah, and Nea was in love with an Accommodator.
His heart sank into his stomach as he feared the worst as to what happened between the two of them. One of the Noah had killed her, he was almost certain of it. He found it highly unlikely that Nea would let an Akuma kill her. She was also a parasite type, so it would be difficult for the virus to infect and kill her. Not to mention, Nea had said that Cross had also been at the event, and as a General ranked Exorcist, he doubted that Cross would have trouble taking out level one and two Akuma.
Allen hunched over and held his head in his hand, taking a moment to process what he'd just found out.
"God…" He muttered softly, sighing heavily. He sat up slowly and rubbed his face before running his hand through his hair. Looking down at his golem, he readied himself. "Okay, Tim. Play the next part."
Timcanpy did as he was asked, the video continuing to play as Nea opened the door for both his girlfriend and his brother.
Just as the Fourteenth smiled, the video turned to static.
At first, Allen thought that maybe Tim shut it off on purpose. But when he saw how confused and nervous his golem was, he realized that the footage had been damaged from when Apocryphos destroyed him.
His shoulders slumped as he stared speechlessly at Tim for a few seconds. "... No… That can't be it… It can't be." He muttered to himself. "It CAN'T be." He shouted suddenly, making Tim jump. "I was just about to get somewhere! After all of this time being kept in the dark! It always happens that way!"
Timcanpy just watched as Allen held his head in his hands and propped his elbows on his folded legs, silently gripping it as he tried not to break down a second time there in the piano room. There was a thick tension that permeated in that confined space while they sat there quietly.
"... Timcanpy?"
The golem perked up, his attention fully on the white haired teen.
"... Am I going to disappear?" Allen muttered softly, not picking his head up. "Am I going to lose everything to Nea? To this war? Why does this keep happening to me, Tim?"
Without a second in between, Allen was suddenly smacked in the face as Timcanpy launched himself at the young man, clinging onto him with tiny little hands, almost as if he were hugging him. "Tim?! What was that for?" Again, Timcanpy pulled back and aggressively nuzzled his little face against Allen's. The repeated action was Tim's attempt at providing him comfort and Allen knew that. It was an action that had gotten Allen through hundreds of incredibly difficult experiences, both physically and emotionally.
Timcanpy was answering his question. He was telling him that he was going to be okay.
He wasn't going to disappear, he wouldn't lose everything.
"Tim…" Allen muttered, cupping the golem against his face in his hand, shutting his eyes. "Thank you… I really don't know what I would do without you." He said softly, moving his hand to let Tim sit on it in front of him. With his other hand, he brushed his fingers along his golden wings. "I'm sorry for being short and impatient with you." Tim then tried to nibble on his fingers, snapping his jaws a few times. "Hey! I said I was sorry!" He waited for him to stop before he went on, starting with a sigh. "I know that you were Nea's golem, and I don't know if that's why you won't show me certain memories… But thank you for showing me what you did. I know it's not easy for you to keep picking sides, but…" Tim then moved closer, settling in Allen's arms, against his chest. "I just want to protect my baby. That's my top priority now. Any little bit that brings me closer to understanding will help me keep her safe. Tim, I don't know what I would do if I ever hurt her. If something ever happened to her or Kanda, and I was the reason…" He trailed off, pressing his lips together into a thin line as he choked up. With one last inhale and deep exhale, Allen let Tim go. "I think that's enough digging for one day. Let's head back to the cafeteria, I'm hungry again."
After using the piano bench to hoist himself up off of the floor, and making sure he didn't get dizzy, Allen opened another portal leading back to his spot in the library, hoping that once he stepped through, no extra attention would be drawn to him.
Wow.
I'm really sorry about the long wait. I just couldn't for the life of me get past this chapter. I fell into a lot of funks the past few months even though I really wanted to work on this chapter and put it out. It was going to be longer, but I didn't want it to drag on, which is how I felt like it was starting to go. I'm going to try not to let it go so long between this and the next chapter. I have some exciting things coming up in the story, and I've also been planning another little something something. :)
DGM belongs to Katsura Hoshino
