Waking up feeling exhausted was nothing new.
Being bone tired…was nothing new.
Trying to distract the mind…staying oblivious...unaware. Trying not to spend too much time thinking.
The last few years had been kind of hard, but not really.
No regrets though. Even if there were some difficult decisions that had to be made…you may have regretted how things ended, but it was all for the better.
It was all for the greater good. Ending things was good.
Tiredness could be dealt with.
Guilt, not so much. So you kept it locked away.
/
There were lots of new people to meet. Old friendships to be rekindled.
Places to travel. Life could be enjoyed. It could be simple. You were better off.
No one to challenge your decisions.
No one to make you feel incompetent. No one expecting you to rise to their level.
No one to challenge you.
Life could be simple.
/
Something felt different though, the last few weeks.
There was tension in the air…
Gossiping was boring…but you learned new things.
Who left town, and who'd just arrived.
There was also excitement in the air…but you put that feeling away.
You'd bluntly said you'd regretted everything that had happened…regretted every look….every touch…every conversation…you regretted it because it wasn't a healthy relationship.
The feeling had faded. You weren't ready for a relationship anyways… so many things to say.
Ignoring tears became easy enough. Ignoring texts…calls…questions about why you did this…all of it was easy enough.
It wasn't even hard to look at yourself in the mirror. Only a little. Sometimes.
/
Eventually, the texts stopped coming. The calls stopped coming.
/
You couldn't be sure about what someone was up to. It made you curious.
Even though you met someone simpler, less complicated, you couldn't let the past go.
You still wanted to know…even if you didn't care.
No one would tell you though…because no one knew.
And you didn't care.
/
Then…one day…
The morning started off terribly.
You were 5 minutes late to an important meeting.
Your eye kept twitching.
You spilled water all over your desk.
Then you were being dragged to a dinner you didn't want to go.
/
Even the drive over was irritating. You were stuck finding parking because there was no valet, and you generously felt like driving.
Finally, making your way inside, you notice someone that looks eerily familiar…but you shake it off. It can't be…no way. It's your imagination.
You feel tension in your jaw, for whatever reason. It could be the annoying couple you've known since childhood, but you've grown immune to them.
As you're heading over to the bar, where you're all supposed to meet, the annoying couple slows down, all but tripping…you almost crashing into them.
You're about to say something biting, but someone bumps your shoulder. Hard.
Someone eerily familiar.
It wasn't your imagination.
/
Your heart slams into your throat, as you see Kim Junghwan…Johnny…bound towards Yoo Rachel…
It can't be...
How?
She can't be standing there…
It's almost like the sun is beating down on her. She looks illuminated. She looks radiant.
It's hard to look at her.
Especially when she's looking at Junghwan with those eyes, smiling brilliantly, with warmth and care.
You'd tried not to let it get to you, but it always bothered you that she never fully looked at you like that. Despite what she said about him being like a brother. It still nagged at you.
It nags at you more, when Junghwan picks her up in a tight hug, smoothing a hand over her hair.
It becomes harder to look at her, when her gaze slides over you…and all expression is gone. In an instant. No emotion. She's not even looking at you with disdain.
It's like she can't even see you.
She looks right through you.
It's like you don't even exist to her.
