The Sun Doesn't Always Shine

AN: Request fic for CRAZY little dragon who wanted a story as to where Sunstreaker's self hatred comes from (mentioned in Inside Out). I started out only using Prowl asking Sideswipe about Sunny, and before I knew it, this little chapter sprung into being. I hope its up to your expectations. It is a bit morbid, but I think it builds Sunny's character and gives a better understanding of his background.

Starfire201- Well, look who his twin is. There's a LOT of influence there!

Lambor Terror Lep- Well, the magazine said it enhanced performance and with that Lambo thinking ONLY about his horsepower, it kinda went downhill from there. I'm considering doing a supplemental to this one. Just depends.

Kimmie98- I overheard someone say "LUBE" the other day and this is where my mind went. Scary, isn't it? And yes, I know there's no shame in eating all those brownies. And since no one saw me eat them, then the calories DON'T count ;) I just have to stop eating so much chocolate! It makes me break out.

AD Axel- I take NO responsibility for what the readers do or act out while reading my fics. And I've done plenty of spit takes myself ;)

DitzyMusicLover- Thanks for the explanation and mums the word!

Yoong- Yes, the ultimate weapon to win this long war is actually flavored lubricant. Who knew? The human race ended a cosmic conflict that's been going on longer than mankind has existed, and yet, WE figure out how to end the whole mess. Great isn't it? Too bad all wars cant be ended the same way.

StarLitDawn- *sets up the O2 feed* Deep breaths. Yes, it was lube… and flavored no less. I don't know WHY a Lamborghini even ORDERED flavored lubricant, but its hard telling what goes on in that golden head of his.

Blitz-Krazi-1- *takes bow* Thank you. I do try. I'm not much of a reader on the site anymore due to the loaded teeny-bopper stuff that fills the pages, but every once in a while a story catches my interest. I hope to entertain 'all' age groups and keep it fresh, which Im sad to say, is a quality that seems to be lacking in a lot of modern fiction.

Prowls-little-angel- You are IN dear, and Sunstreaker mentions something about never speaking about this incident again. Yes, he loves to mess with others heads, but since he doesn't do the pranking that often, his victims never see it coming!

Bluebird Soaring- I thought it would be fun to glitch up Red Alert a bit. Not that he needs any help. And yes, Sides shares my view on human anatomy… its fun, but man, its it ever gross looking! Lol I 'might' do a supplemental to this, dealing with Sunny's conversation with the two unfortunate mechs that think they have to deal with some delicate topics. Not sure yet though. Got a lot on my plate right now.

SEZwho94- Well, Sunny would kill anyone who would mention his 'confusion' because let's face it, he's perfect and shouldn't make those type of mistakes. But then again, he needs to flex his prank-muscles and no one ever guesses the quiet one is the one to look out for!

VaRa129- Gosh! Glad you liked it! Thank you so much for your review and I'm thrilled the story is so well liked.

Hope everyone likes! Its going to be rather dark, but there's some light at the end of this tunnel!

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"Tele-Tran reported fluxions in the power grid for the thirty-ninth time since we were revived," Prowl was saying, exiting the staircase from the upper floors. "There is nothing down here but two storage bays, and one of them is completely destroyed by our crashing into the mountain."

"Why didn't you ask Wheeljack to inspect it?" Prime asked, wondering what in Primus name he was doing down here in the dungeons on the ARK. The crew didn't venture down this far, having only a real need to go as far as the brig and that was two floors above them. The two senior officers had to walk down two flights just to get to this cold, damp cellar.

"In case there is an access override needed, I prefer you input your code personally instead of relaying them to me, then having to change your codes due to security protocols," Prowl stated in a flat tone, as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

"Course," Prime muttered, motioning for the tactician to lead the way.

A light shone from overhead, its pitiful attempt to illuminate making shadows dance along the walls. Prowl scanned the area, looking for the source of the energy drain and with a finger, pointed in the direction of a hallway that looked like it tried to weave through an asteroid field. Either that or Jazz was dancing unattended. Again.

The hull was breached in several places, exposing sections of rock, and the once smooth metal was pockmarked from damage as wires hung like dead snakes. Prime brushed the obsolete wiring away, hearing Prowl softly pad behind him, his scanner humming as he searched for the source that caused the power fluxions. There were a few crates that were bunched in groups of three of four, someone seeing fit to huddle them together for companionship.

The two senior officers were almost to the end of the corridor when muffled voices could be discerned. Prime put up a hand to signal silence from Prowl, though the Praxian rarely made any noise. Weapons were the officers' hands in the blink of an optic and as shadows, they passed down the hall and poised, ready for action outside of a cargo bay. There was a tiny fluttering of light that could barely reach out into the main hall where the officers were poised. The feeble shadow along the orange walls mimicked the two observing mechs, but they paid them no heed. Prime took the chance to peer around the corner, his optics zeroing in through the semidarkness to locate the source of light. Quiet as wraiths they entered, finding stacked shipping crates and disused energon cubes.

A flash of brilliant ruby armor caught the light before disappearing in the dismal offering of two illumination banks. A third light flickered fitfully as if afraid to engage. There was no mistaking Sideswipe's well polished armor glinting as he flittered about his secret business.

Prime and Prowl exchanged glances, knowing there was mischief brewing. Two steps closer and both mechs could see into the little cul-de-sac that had been built by disused containers. The twins were huddled together in the back.

Prime placed his weapon back in his subspace, Prowl following suit once he recognized the two guilty Lamborghinis. He puffed his doorwings, a tirade forming and preparing to unleash on the duo, when Prime's hand pressed against his chassis, halting his words. Curious as to why Prime would do such a thing, Prowl waited in the dark, and heard Sideswipe speak.

"It's okay Sunny," Sideswipe said, tracing his servos along his brother's helm. "There's no one here who will hurt you."

Prowl frowned, a small part of him wondering what the twins were up to. It wasn't like them to be sequestered so far away and speaking in such gentle, hushed tones. Both were loud, crude, and boisterous, and in Sunstreaker's case, violent. There was only one reason why they would seek solitude and that was to devise their infamous pranks. Prowl felt his energon boil in his lines, knowing the two were up to no good. Prowl sidestepped his leader, every intention of yelling at the two for their conspiring, when he stopped short upon the scene before him.

Sunstreaker was huddled on the floor, whimpering in sparkling-like clicks and cries. Sideswipe cradled his brother to him, brushing his servos along Sunstreaker's helm and speaking in quiet, soft words, his expression tender. The twins were hidden in the dim shadows projected by the assortment of crates and containers that had survived the crash.

"What in the name of Primus is going on here?" Prowl demanded, startling Sideswipe. Sunstreaker cringed closer to his twin, clicking in distress.

Sideswipe's head shot up, his optics wide in terror. He clutched Sunstreaker closer to him. His expression went from shock to enraged anger.

"Get out!" Sideswipe snapped at the two senior officers. He didn't acknowledge rank or station at this point. They were just two bots who were witnessing a private moment. "Get out! This is none of your business!"

The third illumination bank chose that moment to engage, adding more light to the duo curled on the floor. When the light fell across the two bodies, Prime and Prowl couldn't hold back the gasps of horror that escaped.

Sunstreaker's form was bathed in light, highlighting his features. His usual immaculate armor was gone, cast aside and glittering in the offered light. He was stripped to his protoform, and the normal platinum coloring was mottled in pewter scars. They crossed his body in a patchwork, resembling a body that had been pieced together by a mad scientist. Every inch of Sunstreaker's body bore the marks of cruelty and suffering.

"Primus," Prime whispered, stepping forward as he opened a comm. to Ratchet for assistance. His comm. bounced back, unable to penetrate to the upper levels. "What have you done, Sideswipe?"

"Get out! You have no business being here! This is private!" Sideswipe said, tightening his hold on his twin when Sunstreaker responded at the sound of a foreign voice.

Prowl followed his leader's example and remained at his side, ready to assist if the situation called for it. When he stepped closer, he could see the overlapping weld marks that traced Sunstreaker's battered protoform. Sideswipe pressed his twin closer to him, glaring hatefully at the two senior officers.

Prime knelt in front of Sideswipe, opening his arms and nodding to Sunstreaker. "Just, give him to me, Sideswipe."

"No!" Sideswipe snapped, his optics blazing a furious white. "I said this is private! This is not your concern! Leave!"

"I can't do that," Prime said, reaching out a hand to touch Sunstreaker. When the golden warrior whimpered at the touch, Prime felt something deep inside go cold. He had no idea something like this was going on. How long Sunstreaker had been suffering in silence, he didn't know. But he had every intention of putting a stop to it. As if reading his mind, Prowl stepped behind Sideswipe and struck the tender spot at the base of his neck, the place that Ratchet liked to employ when the twins got out of control. It didn't send them into stasis like most bots, but it did keep them disoriented and weakened for some time.

Sideswipe twitched, his hold lessening on his twin. Prowl swooped in, clutching Sideswipe from behind and immobilizing his arms behind his back. Sideswipe struggled weakly from the disorienting blow he received, trying to reach his brother, but Prowl was well adept at subduing someone.

"Leave him alone!" Sideswipe shouted, trying to break free from Prowl who was kneeling behind him. "Get away from him! You don't understand! Don't touch him!"

Prime caught Sunstreaker before he could hit the floor when Sideswipe had lost his hold. He expected Sunstreaker to give a sigh of relief at being rescued from his apparent attacker, but Sunstreaker recoiled from Prime's touch, his body trembling. The fumes of high grade permeated the golden warrior as he flinched from Prime, his body racked with tremors. His hands pushed against Prime's chest, trying to get a suitable distance away from the strange mech he perceived through his muddled processor.

"I'm sorry," Sunstreaker muttered, his voice laced with static as he tried to push Prime away. "I didn't mean to. Please, don't hurt me!"

"I would never," Prime said, finding it disconcerting that Sunstreaker was so placid and fearful. Prime never thought he'd miss Sunstreaker's usual violent temper. "I only wish to help."

"You can't," Sideswipe answered when Sunstreaker could only whimper in submission. He stopped struggling against Prowl and sagged in the Second's arms, his expression grief stricken. His tone sounded exhausted and hopeless. "You can't help him."

Prime looked to Sideswipe, his expression worried. "What do you mean? What have you done?"

"I haven't done anything,' Sideswipe said, and his own voice was cracking with emotion as he stared at his trembling twin. One of his hands came to rest on Prowl's that maintained a firm hold to keep him from reaching his brother. "I would never hurt him."

Prime took a good look at the scars that adorned Sunstreaker's body. It only took a few seconds to understand that the scars were old. Inflicted long ago. They weren't fresh wounds incurred from a recent attack. It became obvious that Sideswipe was not causing him harm.

"Where did these scars come from?" Prime asked in a hushed voice, so unlike his own commanding tone. Sunstreaker flinched, broken sobs escaping from him as he closed his optics, waiting for a heavy blow to fall. Prime realized Sideswipe wasn't hurting Sunstreaker. He was comforting him as he succumbed to a memory. Something that haunted his spirit.

"Our creators," Sideswipe said, his hands going to the latches along his chest. Prowl's hold lessened when he realized what Sideswipe was doing. With fumbling fingers, Sideswipe released the last catch, allowing his jeweled armor to fall to the floor with a loud report that made Sunstreaker jerk as if struck. When the protective armor fell away, the light bathed his protoform and highlighted the scars that adorned his body as well. Both officers were sickened by the revelation, and couldn't help but notice that Sunstreaker bore twice the scars as his twin.

"When we were sparked, we were supposed to be one. Our creators wanted, 'one'," Sideswipe explained, his expression sorrowful as he stared at his whimpering twin. "We were abnormal. Aberrations. Our lives weren't meant to be. We deserve our punishment for defying Primus's will and splitting."

Prowl's fist tightened, wanting to throttle someone who would tell such a thing to a youngling. It was just….wrong. He could see and feel Sideswipe shiver, his emotions weighing heavy on him as he also took the brunt of his twins' suffering. Subconsciously, Prowl placed his hand on Sideswipe's back in silent support. He could feel the tremors in the frontliner's frame shake his very core.

"We were punished for not remaining a single spark," Sideswipe said, his hand going to the scarred plating above his spark chamber. He could feel his brother's fear bleeding through as if it were his own. "We are the dross of Primus, and it is only fitting that we are reminded of our worth."

"Junk," Sunstreaker sobbed in Prime's arms, causing the Autobot leader to look at his soldier with concern. A soft hiccup of fear was broken by a static filled whimper. "Useless."

Prime may have been the stoic leader of the Autobots, but the reason why the Matrix of Leadership chose him as its vessel, was not for his stature but his compassion. He felt something break deep in his spark, looking at the fractured soldier held at arms length, his body trembling with emotional turbulence.

Unable to think of anything else to do, Prime embraced Sunstreaker, feeling the smaller mech fold against him in submission, his head tucked under Prime's chin as he clicked in fearful surrender. Prime's body vibrated from Sunstreaker's tremors.

"I'm so sorry, Sunstreaker," Prime said softly, wishing to take away the mech's suffering.

As if in answer, Prime felt a tug along his chest plates, but it wasn't from Sunstreaker. It felt more like it came from the inside. He frowned, and with reluctance, withdrew from Sunstreaker, earning a frightened chirp of a tortured youngling. Sunstreaker winced, expecting a blow.

A great thundering filled the room, earning startled looks from the three sober mechs. Sunstreaker whined, cringing away from the torment he knew was coming. Prime looked down, realizing the noise was coming from him. Or to be more precise the thing residing in his chest. Unbidden his chest plates split, the thundering noise lowering to a low hum as the Matrix revealed itself, called forth from its place of protection.

Unable to control his traitorous frame, Prime watched with wide optics as the ancient artifact made its presence known. The edges fractured, allowing it to open. Prime made a noise of protest, but the Matrix had a will of its own. With a gentle wave, it called the other spark forth.

Sunstreaker wasn't coherent enough to send the mental command to open his spark chamber, but his spark already knew how to answer the call. It opened its sealed cage, the energy blinding and raw with emotional instability. As a frightened child, it sent a desperate plea, going right into the soul of the Matrix.

Sideswipe gasped, clutching his own chassis as he felt his brother's pain. His knees felt weak and he was sure he was falling into a chasm from where he would never return. Arms wrapped around him and kept him centered in reality, holding him steadfast against the torrent crashing through his spark. He felt dizzy and cold, like spinning through the vastness of space, the chilling breath of isolation clawing at him, all the while his spark crying out for solace.

In answer to Sunstreaker's cry, a tendril escaped from the Matrix, pulsing and brilliant white, calling its child forward. Sunstreaker's spark tried to respond, its attempt a meek flicker of acknowledgement before retreating back into itself, a skittish soul with fear ingrained into its very being. With a determined pulse, the Matrix extended its power, surging forth and presenting its energy in offering. A tangible, thread-like extraction reached from the Prime's chest and into the battered, broken body before it.

Though Sunstreaker was lost in a phantom world of pain and suffering, the Matrix easily navigated the memories, pushing them aside and offering its own steadfast power to replace the hurt.

The tendril of hope waited for Sunstreaker's spark to accept its mercy, for that's what comprised the Matrix's core. It granted peace to those who were broken. That was what the ancient artifact symbolized. It embodied not only the power of the Prime able to wield it with the unfathomable compassion he held for his people, but it held the grace and wisdom of the ages, locked in its core, ready to extend to those in need.

Sunstreaker's optics were half lidded, the charge coursing through his system making him delirious to everything around him. He may had not have been cognizant enough to realize what was being offered, but his spark knew. With a mighty wrench, his subconscious pushed forth, allowing the connection to the ancient artifact. As soon as their energies touched, there was a soft whisper against Sunstreaker's soul, telling him to be at peace, and not to dwell on things past. It was time to heal those wounds. They had been infected for long enough.

Sunstreaker whimpered, his optics unfocused as he felt rather than saw Prime in front of him, a blinding light that offered the very peace and absolution that had haunted the golden mech since his sparking.

The Matrix pulled the hurt and torment away from its child, granting solace upon the soul that had suffered for so long. The Matrix took the hatred, anger, retribution, self loathing into its core, turning the negative energy into positive, using it to build its own foundations and making it stronger, its energy growing with every Cybertronian who released their suffering and called upon its cleansinggrace.

Sunstreaker let out a soft sigh, his optics falling closed as he went limp in Prime's grasp. The tendrils of energy separated, the Matrix returning to the protective casing in Prime's chest. His plates resealed, keeping the ancient artifact safe. He stared at Sunstreaker, his processor trying to grasp what had happened.

The physical scars would always remain, but Prime knew the spiritual scars were already on their way to mending. He looked to Prowl and Sideswipe. Both were clutched against each other, staring at the mystic scene before them. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other, as if using the other as an anchor to the physical plane.

A minute passed in silence, until Sunstreaker snored, snuggling closer to the warmth of the body holding him. Prime gave a start, looking to the smaller mech cradled against him. He felt an echo of the pain and spark ache that had haunted Sunstreaker. He was grateful he was still kneeling because the emotional backlash was enough to send him crashing to his knees.

"What…. Was that?" Sideswipe asked in a meek voice, his hand going to his chassis and rubbing the spot above his spark chamber. There was a strange sensation in his spark that had never been present before. It was worrisome.

"I don't know,' Prime admitted. He looked to his chest, his expression just as awestruck as the other two mechs.

"Will he be alright?" Sideswipe asked, disengaging himself from his nemesis and staring at his twin. A peaceful blanket settled in his spark, Sunstreaker's side of the bond wide open and expressing its relief.

"I… believe so," Prime said, not sure how he knew this information. He frowned, looking to Sideswipe and adding, "Why did you not come to me sooner?"

"We didn't think there was anything that you could have done," Sideswipe admitted, feeling a sense of serenity flowing from his twin. It was enough to make him unsteady. "This was something that we had to deal with."

"With high grade?' Prowl asked, noting the still that was set up in the corner, along with the multitude of cubes that surrounded the quartet. Not to mention the fumes coming off of Sunstreaker were enough to make a mech stagger.

"Sunny has always bore the worst of the pain, but he keeps everything in the back of his possessor, hidden," Sideswipe explained. He nodded toward the still, a part of him knowing that Prowl was going to have it dismantled, "But sometimes, Sunny… remembers. What was done to us. What was said. How we were treated. And when he remembers….. He needs something to take away the nightmares."

"And high grade does this?" Prowl asked skeptically.

"It keeps them to a minimum, yes," Sideswipe said. "He copes the only way he knows how."

"And you?" Prowl promoted.

"I survive," Sideswipe said softly, watching as his brother slumbered in Prime's arms. Their leader seemed reluctant to release his charge.

Sideswipe shot Prowl a sidelong glance, "You can confiscate the still but I will set up another one. This won't change. I'll do whatever I must to help my brother."

"You may keep it," Prowl said, earning a startled noise from Sideswipe.

"I can?" Sideswipe asked. "Why?"

"Medicinal purposes," Prowl said nodding to Sunstreaker, who had enough charge in his system to run a power grid for a month. "You claim it helps Sunstreaker to cope." Sideswipe nodded in affirmation, so Prowl gave a curt nod, "Then it can be classified as a medicinal necessity. However I do not believe others need to be made aware of it, nor that there needs to be any excess of said illegal grade."

"Understood," Sideswipe said. A huge balloon of relief exploded in his chest. "Thanks" he added.

"It is merely protocol," Prowl stated. Sideswipe gave him an incredulous look and he added, "It has granted you both, however questionable the reasoning, a measure of comfort. However, I believe you both may benefit from speaking with Smokescreen or Ratchet instead of charging yourselves into stasis."

"It's no ones business," Sideswipe said, very much aware at how that sounded to the two senior officers. "This is something that we have to deal with. No one else."

"Everyone is entitled to find that which gives the peace, and allows them to continue with their lives," Prowl said, nodding to Sunstreaker who was now slumbering in quiet contentment in Prime's arms.

"Bit odd, coming from you," Sideswipe said, not wanting to sound harsh, but Prowl's look of hurt made him want to punch himself. "Sorry," he muttered.

Prowl grabbed the side latch on his chassis, and with a few flicks, easily moved the protective armor to the side, displaying his own scarred protoform, though it paled in comparison to the marks bore by the twins. "Do not think you are alone in suffering from your creation. We all bear the mark of those who saw us as something other than what we are."

Sideswipe gasped at seeing the pewter scars, their presence speaking louder than words. Sideswipe understood their meaning. The twins were not alone. They didn't have to suffer in the cold, dark, underground basement. There were others who had suffered the same, and they could understand.

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Thoughts, ideas, requests, concrit, all are welcome. And I'm just tickled that I'm getting so many wonderful reviews. That just makes me giggle and my muse start to babble. When there are so few reviews, I feel like I let everyone down and I didn't do my best. So, the encouragement helps, guys. A LOT! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

And I hope a scene like this one hasn't already been done to death. Man, that would just kill my endorphins right now.

And I honestly don't know WHY Prowl keeps popping up in these fics. He just seems to be a great epicenter for angst and keeping the twins grounded. And he's fun to crash or make his processor ache.