Side Splitter
DitzyMusicLover- Thanks! I worry about putting too much or not enough of something in a story. Its hard to find a good balance sometimes.
Cybela- Gosh! A new reviewer! Thanks so much for the wonderful words of encouragement. Well, no guarantees on 'death' chapters. I honestly don't know where the muse is going until I have a cup of coffee in the morning and glare at the screen from the night before. Hope you stick around.. there's some "interesting" chapters on the way.
Kimmie98- And Sunny would throttle us both if he heard you say that. Thanks for the target on my back. LOL
Lambor Terror Lep- Yes, they are touchy feely…. And would slag us for even thinking such a thing.
Starfire201- I have added your request to the list We'll see what the muse comes up with. I have some.. questionable… chapters outlined/half finished that I seriously don't know WHERE they came from.
Young- You know the twins worst fear is losing each other. I mean, they feel/sense everything, and to those of us who are close to someone, it's the worst feeling in the world to think you may lose them. Doesn't mean I cant torture the twins in the meantime. :D
AD Axel- And Sunny is going to step on all of us who suggest he's a soft spark. Man, didn't realize that so many people were going to be massacred by a deranged Lamborghini for this chapter. Lol
Skittles the Sugar Fairy- I promise, the notes will be shorter. I just cant express my gratitude enough to those who leave a review. And I want to ensure that everyone receives a reply because every one of my reviewers is important and I want to let them know how much their reviews mean to me, which is why I put ya'll first before the chapter. I could gush all day, but I'll make it brief. :D I hope you stick with me because there are some… 'questionable' chapters upcoming. May need to get Wheeljack to install safety harnesses… our luck, they'd explode when clicked!
Blitz-Krazi-1- Sorry about the heart attack. Next time, I'll aim for a faint. LOL Gosh, I'm all aflutter with the flattery! And yes, Sunny is OK… for now. I make no promises for what's on the horizon in the next few chapters. As soon as I get them done/edited, I'll upload them. I'm doing pretty good with the consistency so far. :D
Prowls-little-angel- Well, Sunny may not be safe in later chapters. I make no promises on that aspect. And your challenge has been added to the list. I have a couple of chapters just about finished, and hopefully the muse will take a look at my 'to do' pile and give me a good idea.
SEZwho94- Sunny IS a nightmare. LOL Don't you just want to coddle them both? (goes all motherly) Sideswipe would let me coddle him… Sunny would beat me or step on me in protest.
StarLitDawn- Well, Sunny gets the near death experiences because he inflicts so many of them himself. *takes bow* He's going to be in for it… mark my words. ;)
RatchetRocks- Wow.. I'm just… flabbergasted. Speechless. (marks wall) I'm just tickled pink that you liked it. I always worry that I didn't do something right or didn't write enough or did too much.. ect. I love writing for others (quick story/chapter/ect) and I'm just thrilled you took the time to think about what you wanted to see/read and wrote out the request in a review. And your words of encouragement couldn't have come at a better time. I have been thinking about pursuing another job along the author/editor field. You gave me the confirmation that I needed to let me know that it was time to change careers and do what I love best. Writing. Thank you for delivering God's message to me.
VaRa129- I make no promises that either twin will survive every chapter. And yes, Sunny is a good brother, but if anyone tried to hug him, I think he would kill them. Several of us are going to coddle him, so you're welcome to join our funeral procession. LOL Oh well.. at least we'll go out in style. Who wants to live to 100 when you can get stepped on by a smexy car, now?
*Sequel to Side Bar but not necessary to read that chapter to understand*
WARNING: DO NOT drink or eat anything while reading. May cause bodily harm, choking, spit takes, or liquid coming out of nose. Author assumes no responsibility for these or related incidents. Warning is in place because she suffered the above mentioned side effects. Proceed with caution.
Well, I didn't reach my goal the last time, but since my reviewers have been so AWESOME, I decided to do a double post anyway. Screw the milestone. BUT, I DO expect a note for each chapter, even if its your favorite parts/lines. I wanna know what I'm doing right and if there is anything I missed or was unclear on. If you see something amiss, point it out! I promise I won't be mean.
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Sunstreaker entered the quarters he shared with his twin and glanced around the cluttered room. The lack of glinting red armor alerted him that Sideswipe wasn't there. Which was a mixed blessing. Sunstreaker didn't want company at the moment, and the last he had seen his twin, Sideswipe was staggering down one of the many halls of the ARK, overcharged as usual. Sunstreaker shook his head. Why did his brother have to be such a lush? It was okay to drink and enjoy the buzzing of circuits once in awhile, but Sideswipe made it his life mission to overcharge himself at the least provocation.
And the provocation usually came in the form of Smokescreen, who loved to challenge Sideswipe to drinking games. Smokescreen was notorious for drinking a mech under the table, but Sideswipe never seemed to learn. He devised all manner of concoctions to 'remedy' his overcharge, but nothing had ever worked to date. He drank, he overcharged, he wandered the base and performed questionable deeds that had gotten him reprimanded on more than one occasion.
Prowl's best crash had been the direct result of Sideswipe composing a love declaration to a Decepticon in old Cybertronian prose. It was rather eloquent and spark felt, and had he spouted such words while sober, his love interest would have probably considered accepting the mech's proposals. As it was, Prowl had found the drunken frontliner at a terminal, slurring through his speech of unending love and devotion, using such phrases and fluid audible grace that had Prowl immediately suspicious. The SIC had stormed to the drunken warrior (caught off guard from the fumes coming from said mech), and had turned to see Megatron staring back. With a smirk, Megatron had accepted Sideswipe's oath of loving servitude and loyal devotion.
Prowl's crash was heard throughout the base. Megatron signed off laughing so hard, he snorted through his vents and there was a loud crashing noise that may have been him falling off his throne. Sideswipe seemed devastated until he saw Jazz, and started the whole fiasco over again.
Hoping for the best, Sunstreaker picked up the datapad on his berth and sat down, skimming the screen that was loaded with 'vacation' ideas. The twins were due some down time and Sideswipe had insisted on something they could do together. Sunstreaker wasn't fond of the idea, in many aspects, but he had agreed to glance over his brother's list. So far, nothing caught his interest.
Outdoor recreation centers were designed for humans, but not for robotic beings over 20 feet tall. Sunstreaker couldn't see the point in going to an amusement park, a water park, and a 'state fair'. There were no rides large enough to accommodate the Cybertronian form. They didn't ingest the food that clogged the humans fuel lines. The games were either too small for robotic hands or they were rigged to ensure one lost more than they gained.
Water parks were a worse idea. The chlorinated water got into sensitive joints and caused lock ups, squeaks, and if exposed for more than two hours, rust. Then there were the screaming children, the urinating population, and the conglomeration of oils and sunscreen that created a scum across the water surface. Not to mention the other biological secretions that permeated the water. Sunstreaker cringed at the idea of what humans release and there was no way in the Pit he was going to go bathing with one of them, let alone hundreds of them.
Which was why the beach was out as well. Not only was the water just as disgusting with aquatic vermin and their feces, but the sand loved to collect in joints and sensitive places that a mech finds very uncomfortable.
The bike rally was a bust. The idea of hundreds of two wheeled vehicles filling up a lot and revving their substandard engines was enough to send Sunstreaker into a laughing fit, if he ever felt inclined to do so. Not to mention that the humans who rode the bikes were notorious for either being "Weekend warriors" or "Die Hard Fanatics" and either way, the Lamborghini would be subjected to their bantering about which engine is best and trying to outperform each other. And these galas always ended up with several arrests because alcohol flowed in abundance. Sunstreaker didn't want another impound on his record. Prowl threatened to leave the twins there next time they were incarcerated by humans.
And the slagger had meant it.
Human ball games were out of the question. Sunstreaker didn't see the point in grown men running around after a ball or trying to hit one. There was no talent in that. Now, if the opposing team were allowed to shoot the ball while in air, that would be interesting. And the only way to get Sunstreaker to attend a golf course was to promise him he was allowed to enlarge the holes and maybe bury a few human bodies in the sand. Or scream at the participants and ask them why they always take so slagging long.
Driving cross country wasn't too appealing.
Highways, traffic laws, other motorists, road construction. A good recipe to ensure Sunstreaker displayed violence.
Sideswipe's 'touring' with a famous rock band was also out of the question. Sunstreaker wouldn't be able to prevent himself from stepping on annoying humans who liked to scream into a microphone. And there were the strange amebas called 'groupies' that collected around musicians and brought down the general intelligence of the human race. As soon as any of those humans touched his paint, he would have to end them.
There was a mention of a 'haunted house' tour upstate that looked promising. Sunstreaker highlighted the details and read about the old lighthouses along the shore that were haunted by fated lovers or lost seamen looking for absolution. The tour ended at a hotel, where guests could 'solve' a mystery and earn prizes. Sunstreaker loved the idea of terrorizing the unsuspecting guests with a 'haunted' Lamborghini. And the twins still had the ghost getups from last year's Halloween party. They could don the long white sheets and prowl around the lighthouses and hotel, seeing who could garner the most screams of fear.
'Ratchet to Sunstreaker,' Ratchet said over comms, his voice sounding annoyed.
'What?' was Sunstreaker's succinct reply.
'Please come to med bay and collect your brother,' Ratchet answered.
'Terminated?' Sunstreaker asked, though he already knew the answer from the contented emotion filtering through his spark. Whatever Sideswipe was doing, he was happy and practically purring through the bond. It made Sunstreaker suspicious and sick at the same time.
'Will be if you do not remove him,' Ratchet sneered, his temper as volatile as Sunstreaker's own.
'On my way,' Sunstreaker sighed, putting the datapad on the side table and exiting the room. He hazard a guess as to what Sideswipe was doing. If he was in the med bay, projecting such 'positive' and 'happy' emotions, he was no doubt torturing Ratchet. Ratchet's own terse attitude was further proof.
Sunstreaker stalked to the medical wing, his steps ringing in agitation. Sometimes, he really hated his brother. Leave it to Sideswipe to pick the most inopportune times to pull one of his stunts and cause his twin even more processor aches. Sunstreaker just wanted to spend a quiet evening alone, without having his brother perform any of his usual idiocy. Expecting the worst, Sunstreaker prepared himself for the warzone he was about to enter, his arms flexing in preparation to ward off any flying instruments. Many times Sunstreaker had entered med bay and received an errant projectile right between the optics.
Sunstreaker closed his optics, steeling his resolve. The door opened and he stepped through. Two steps inside and Sunstreaker stopped short, his jaw going slack, his expression confused.
"Ratchet?" Sunstreaker asked, staring at the CMO who was standing in the middle of the room, looking very agitated.
"Sunstreaker,' Ratchet greeted through pursed lip plating, his frame tense as it swayed from Sideswipe's vehemence.
"What the slag is going on?" Sunstreaker asked, staring at his twin, who was currently hugging the CMO so tightly, their chest plates looked welded together. After a few seconds of close scrutiny, Sunstreaker realized they were moving. Well, Sideswipe was trying to take steps to the left and right and Ratchet was swaying with momentum but his pedes were rooted to the spot.
"Apparently we are slow dancing," Ratchet snarled, trying to wiggle free from Sideswipe, but the warrior only clutched him closer, his engine purring.
"What?" Sunstreaker asked. His processor just didn't possess the power to compute this.
"Sideswipe came in about ten minutes ago, said he needed to see me, and when I stepped close to scan him, he grabbed me," Ratchet explained, casting a dark look to Sideswipe, whose right hand started to drift down to Ratchet's aft. Ratchet smacked the drunken mech upside the helm, then grabbed his errant hand and replaced it on his waist. "And the slagger keeps putting the moves on me."
Sunstreaker was sure his processor locked up. And though it wasn't like him to express too extensive of emotions, he erupted in genuine laughter. His mirth was so intense he doubled over; clutching his midsection and feeling the tension leave his frame.
"It's not that slagging funny!" Ratchet snapped, taking a step back as Sideswipe used his distraction to get him to 'dance' to the music only the frontliner could hear.
"It's slagging hilarious!" Sunstreaker barked, smiling at Ratchet and causing the CMO to give a startled look. When Sunstreaker noticed his expression, he asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's just…." Ratchet sputtered, at a loss as to what he was witnessing. "I've never seen or heard you… laugh."
Sunstreaker composed himself, swallowing the random giggles that threatened to overcome him again. He stalked to the pair and held out his hand, "Sideswipe?"
"Busy,' Sideswipe said, nuzzling Ratchet, his sneaky hand drifting down the medics aft again.
Ratchet grabbed the errant hand and wrenched it up, using the appendage as a focal point and spinning Sideswipe toward his twin. "You take him!"
Sideswipe whined as his dance partner handed him off. He turned fuzzy optics to his new partner and let out a slurred welcome, wrapping his arms around his brother and asking him if he's seen a pretty white femme around. Ratchet growled oaths that would scare the Pit maker as he marched into his office and slammed the door.
Sunstreaker sighed, hoisting his twin against him and starting the trek toward their shared quarters. They were almost there when Sideswipe hiccupped and backfired, the sound resonating like a gunshot.
Red Alert's voice echoed over the comms, asking for an explanation. He was watching the twins on his security cameras. He always kept a tab on them when he was on monitor duty.
"Overcharge,' Sunstreaker growled in answer, tugging on his brother to get him to move.
Sideswipe snickered, grasping his brother and slurring, "Yoush shee a preffy femme?"
"No, they are all substandard," Sunstreaker deadpanned, dragging his brother down the hall.
Sideswipe seemed to have forgotten his train of thought. He frowned, allowing his brother to direct their path. When they were standing in front of their door, Sideswipe giggled and backfired again.
Sunstreaker opened his mouth to ask what was wrong with Sideswipe's distribution system, when Sideswipe giggled again and muttered, "Add..i…tives. Goods mix."
Sunstreaker frowned, wondering what his brother was talking about and hit the door lock. He maneuvered his brother to his berth, and as soon as Sideswipe sat down, he backfired again, only this time it resembled a choking motorcycle and Sideswipe erupted with more insane laughter.
"What is.." Sunstreaker started, then paused, something foul burning his olfactory sensor. He frowned, then took a long inhale, and immediately started coughing. "Holy slag! That's sulfur!"
"Only ones ingredziants," Sideswipe stage whispered, before falling backward in unconsciousness.
"Fragging great," Sunstreaker muttered, waving his hands around to dissipate the foul cloud that hovered around his brother's berth. "I hope you learn your lesson."
Sideswipe snored, oblivious to his brother's hateful glare.
Sunstreaker went to his own berth and plopped down, grabbing the datapad off the table and highlighting the screen to begin his vacation quest all over again. Two minutes later, Sideswipe expelled another noxious gaseous cloud that had Sunstreaker coughing and his optics watering.
"You slagging…" Sunstreaker said, glaring at his unconscious brother, but Sideswipe decided to release another loud, ripping backfire. Sunstreaker sputtered, his optics unable to focus as he staggered from his berth, his processor hell bent on enacting reinstitution.
An hour later, Sunstreaker received a comm. from Red Alert, asking why Sideswipe was snoring in the hall. He muttered a garbled explanation, to which Red Alert chalked up to the twins normal behavior. Sunstreaker fell back into a deep charge.
Red Alert regarded the slumbering ruby mech outside his quarters with a narrowed optic. He knew something was amiss. It always was when the twins were involved. He got his answer a few seconds later when Prowl turned the corner, and came to an abrupt stop like hitting an invisible wall. His door wings hitched high on his back as his face twisted in a pained grimace before going slack, and then he keeled over off his pedes.
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Yes, Sideswipe was farting, but since Cybertronians don't have intestines or a colon, I had to give him an alternative. The mixture didn't go well with the high grade and the fumes coming from the chemicals cant be expelled the normal way by the distribution center. So the gas builds and is forced from his body as loud 'backfires'… and if you've ever been near a backfiring car, they DO sound like gunshots. Can you imagine the sound when high grade is involved? Wheeljack is probably remembering his childhood with the early, 'gentler' explosions.
Reviews will be loved. Anything you wish to drop a line about, even requests, I'm open to suggestions. No promises on when said request will be finished, but they WILL stay in the mix.
For those good reviewers, a new chapter will be up tomorrow… And I expect comments on both chapters, (holds brillo pad next to Sunstreaker's paint, causing him to hiss and spit, trying to get away) or the Lambo gets it! (Sunstreaker whimpers and pleads)
