Chapter Forty: Strawberries in May

AN: Hope everyone is doing okay. My state is returning to normal, one week at a time. We were hardly affected by quarantine, as our cases were all out of state travelers. (seriously, you'd be surprised how many grandparents were traveling across country to see their grandkids cause everyone would be home so they piled into their RV and took to the road)

Anyway, wanted to give a head's up. Since the weather is now nice and I'll be outside dealing with the house and yard more often, writing has to take a back seat priority-wise. So updates may be a couple weeks apart. Currently trying to get some land cleared off to have a 'Victory Garden'…. If anyone is unfamiliar, google it. ;) Fresh veg and less reliance on big name supermarkets. :D

I would be spacing the chapters right when there's another plot twist.. hehe… yes, I'm mean at times.

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Sable sang at the top of her lungs as she drove to the clinic. Her original appointment had been postponed a few days due to vandals causing a lot of damage. Her voice died upon seeing the boarded up windows and security standing outside the doors, dressed in black and foreboding to anyone who dared approach.

Locking the car, Sable strode to the front door, which had been replaced by a metal door with iron rods protecting the square window.

She smiled at the armed guard, who gave her a nod of respect and muttered, "Ma'am" and opened the door for her like a gentleman.

Sable released a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

Ever since her experience at the facility where she met Donnie, anyone dressed in black and sporting a military buzz cut set her nerves on edge. She expected to be attacked at any second and sent back to a subterranean hellhole where she was to be imprisoned with horny animals.

The clinic was fairly empty, save for a pregnant woman reading a magazine, rubbing her rounded belly and tapping her foot impatiently.

Sable glanced around, taking in the drastic changes the room had undergone.

The windows had been smashed, plywood nailed over the areas to prevent someone from coming and repeating the damage. The pleather chairs had been slashed, batting hanging out of the splits. They were piled in a corner to be repaired or replaced. Currently there were five folding chairs available in the lobby, with a wooden pallet on cinder blocks serving as a table, as the original ones had been smashed. The magazines, strangely enough, had not received hatred.

Sable signed in at the desk, disheartened to see it too bore the marks of a violent tantrum.

The desk had been severely dented, probably by a baseball bat. The filing cabinets likewise received such treatment. Thankfully none of their locks appeared broken, which would allow vandals to steal medical records for further harassment and vandalism.

Sable took a seat on the cold metal chair and picked up a magazine, intending on skimming through it, though it was at least two years old.

"What a mess, huh?" the pregnant lady said.

"Probably looking for drugs," Sable said, as that was the case in most break-ins.

"Doubtful," the lady said in disgust. "Only drugs here are birth control. Not like it's a pain clinic with opiods."

"Probably nut cases," Sable put in, shifting uncomfortably. The metal was cold, unforgiving, and painful to a bony person.

"Assholes more like," the woman snorted, rubbing her belly again. She eyed Sable's stomach as if expecting to see evidence. "You expecting, too?"

"What? Oh, no," Sable said, shaking her head. She let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Birth control. Can never be too careful."

"Tell me about it," the woman said. She smiled tenderly at her belly. "Made that mistake early in life. It's a real eye opener, let me tell you."

"How many do you have?" Sable asked. It was great to talk to someone who wouldn't judge and have an honest conversation with. Also, she wouldn't be bored by reading what overpaid actors were doing two years prior.

"This is the first," she said. "Little girl." Correctly assessing Sable's confusion, she added. "I got pregnant at seventeen. My 28 yr old boyfriend wasn't too happy, especially when I lost interest in sex. One night I wasn't in the mood so he beat me."

She cradled her stomach, face awash in anguish of pain lost past.

"Kicked and punched me in the stomach. Thankfully, a neighbor heard and called an ambulance. It's a good thing too, because the trauma made me miscarry."

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," Sable breathed, hand over mouth. She reached out to offer her support and the woman took it, tears in her eyes.

"I was in the hospital for two weeks," she confided. "He nearly killed me."

Sable leaned over, giving the woman a hug as she began to cry.

"Sorry," the woman blubbered, mopping her face. "It's hormones. Don't take much to turn on the water works."

"Don't worry about it," Sable said, patting the woman on the back. "I have five nieces and nephews. I've seen and heard everything."

The woman cracked a smile, wiping away the last of the tears. She took a steadying breath. "On the bright side, I was able to cut ties to him and never have to see him again."

"Glad you got away," Sable said softly, rubbing the woman's back in a soothing manner.

"Me too. And luckily, I met the man of my dreams a year later. We've been married almost ten years." She patted her stomach. "Got quite the surprise for our anniversary."

"Congratulations," Sable said.

"Oh!" the woman gasped, grabbing Sable's hand and placing it on her stomach. "She's kicking."

Sable's expression spoke volumes. She smiled, sensing the tiny foot slam into her mother in a powerful kung fu kick. Tears welled up.

"I thought we'd never have a family. We lost hope, and accepted the fact we'd never be parents. And we got the biggest surprise of our lives," she said, grinning at Sable. She positively glowed, radiating beauty and feminism. "I'm so blessed."

Sable sniffled, choking back tears. She nodded, withdrawing her hand.

"Fortunately this place is still in business," the woman said, nodding toward the secretary seated at the desk. "I lost my insurance a couple years ago, so when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to receive health care." She gave Sable an exasperated look. "Doctors charge an arm and a leg anymore. It's ridiculous! And then you have to wait months to see them. Here? You can walk in and get a blood test or prenatal vitamins at a fraction of the cost."

"They also provide support groups and shelters for battered women," Sable put in, remembering the pamphlets she was given the first visit.

The lady shook her head sadly. "Too many are stuck in a bad relationship. It's terrible there are so few resources available."

Sable agreed.

The woman offered half a laugh. "Course, when I was young and stupid, I thought I was in love and overlooked the hateful barbs and raised hands. It took me nearly being killed to open my eyes and see that asshole for what he truly was."

"Thank God you did," Sable put in. "Many don't get the opportunity."

"True," the woman agreed. She adjusted herself on the metal seat, wincing from the unforgiving surface. "So, what about you?"

Sable stared off into the distance, a wistful smile on her face. "Met the man of my dreams when I least expected it."

"Ah, you found your soul mate," the woman knowingly. "Lucky girl."

"How do you know?" Sable asked, skeptically.

"Sweetie, you can't fake that kind of glow," she laughed, patting her stomach to calm down her kicker. "You can tell the soul mates. There's just this…look. All glowy and shiny and happy."

"Well, he does make me happy. More than I ever been," Sable admitted.

The door on the far room opened and a nurse appeared, holding a folder. "Daphne."

The pregnant lady got up with some difficulty, but leaned over to give Sable a hug and speak in her ear.

"Follow your heart and everything will work out." She drew back, winking. "When the time is right, you'll know."

Sable nodded, fighting back tears.

Daphne waddled toward the nurse. As the door was closing, Sable heard her say, "Please tell me the vandals didn't destroy the bathroom because I've been busting to pee for ten minutes!"

Sable chuckled despite her surroundings. She picked up the magazine, not really seeing it. Subconsciously she touched her lower belly, imaging what it would feel like to sense her own child moving inside her.

Maybe later? Maybe when she and Donnie were ready. If it happened once, it could happen again. Maybe after some time, a few years at least, when they were physically and emotionally ready to be parents, she would conceive again. The threat of scientists dissecting her or her infant still niggled the back of her mind, but maybe, after a few years, the world would be a better place and be welcoming to a hybrid child.

She could only hope.

Five minutes later the nurse called. "Lisa."

Sable got up at the call of her fake name, following the nurse down the hall appearing to be under construction.

"Made a mess, didn't they?" Sable quipped as they entered a sterile white room, which had seemingly survived the vandals.

"You don't know the half of it," the nurse sighed in exasperation. "But, it's not as bad as it's been in the past. Now we lock up each room before closing and the expensive equipment is kept in a separate, heavily protected safe room."

"How often do you get vandalized?" Sable asked, hopping up on the table to await the doctor.

"At least couple times a year," the nurse said. "More if there's a news story or politician riling up the locals into destroying clinics because they provide abortions."

"Don't hospitals also provide them?" Sable asked curiously.

"A lot, yes, but since it's barely spoken of, and most don't bother because hospitals provide other services, it's swept under the rug and ignored," the nurse said, opening Sable's chart. "Focus goes toward us, and we're habitually made out to be demons or some such rhetoric. It gets tedious, to be honest."

"I bet," Sable agreed. "The clean up efforts alone are a pain in the ass."

"Even worse when they used to destroy equipment," the nurse continued. "Ruining test strips, contaminating sterilized instruments, shattering the ultrasound machines and lab equipment."

"Assholes," Sable snorted disdainfully.

The nurse nodded. "One time, they broke in and smeared animal blood everywhere. We had to hire a specialized crew to come in and decontaminate the place! Top to bottom! ALL the gloves, swabs, gauze, test tubes, everything, had to be disposed of in biohazard containers."

"That's awful!"

"Had to cancel appointments for two weeks while the place was cleaned and new beds, chairs, desks, was replaced." The nurse tapped a cabinet above her head. "Even the cabinets had blood on them. After that, every room is individually secured, and the expensive things are secured in a room locked up tighter than Fort Knox."

"Cheaper in the long run." Sable quipped. "Saves the expense of having to shut down and replace everything."

"Too bad we can't charge the criminals for the expenses," the nurse sighed. "Might make them think twice about destroying a clinic if they have to pay for the damages."

"Wouldn't that be nice?" Sable said. "Can you imagine if they passed a law that any time a clinic is vandalized, everyone within a 10 block radius has to pay a $100.00 fine to cover the costs for damages?"

"Might actually deter the mindless morons," the nurse grinned. "And everyone would get pissed they'd have to fork out the cost of damages every time someone broke in. After awhile, they'd start monitoring the neighborhood, and being protective of their local health care clinics."

There was a knock at the door, ending the conversation. The doctor entered, wheeling an ultrasound behind her.

"Sorry for the mess," she said. "Had a visit by the crazies."

"No problem," Sable said, waving her hand dismissively.

The doctor took the chart and asked, "So, what happened? Pain? Bleeding? Problems?"

"No, none," Sable reported. "I took the last pill that night around eleven. No pain or blood."

"That's weird," the doctor said, the nurse nodding along, brow furrowed. "Sure you didn't spot. At least a little bit?"

"Nope," Sable said. "No blood. I think it passed without causing trouble."

"Doesn't sound right," the doctor said, motioning for Sable to lay back. She picked up the wand on the ultrasound machine and squirted the lube on it while Sable pushed her pants down and pulled her shirt up.

"Might have spotted a little," Sable said as the wand pressed into her lower belly. "I didn't look at the toilet paper every time, so maybe it did and I was just unaware of it."

A deep crease formed between the doctor's brow. "You are positive you took the misoprostol?"

"Yes," Sable said, now starting to worry. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"Not wrong, exactly, but not expected," the doctor said, tapping a button and turning the screen so Sable could see. "You're still pregnant."

"What!" Sable half shouted, half cried.

"The pills are 99% effective in the early stages, naturally declining the longer you gestate," the doctor said, moving the wand around slowly. "You're about nine weeks. Baby is about the size of a strawberry."

Sable watched as the screen shifted, showing her the small strawberry that should have been gone.

"I can give you some more pills and try it again, though to be honest, I'm hesitant about doing that." The doctor tapped several buttons, getting screen shots. "Injecting so many artificial hormones into your system can cause an instability in your periods and disrupt your normal hormones. But, ultimately, it's up to you. What you want to do."

Sable stared at the little berry. It shouldn't be there! It should have been gone and she could move on! And yet, here she was… still trapped in the same situation.

Only, something was different this time.

The hopelessness and helplessness diminished into nothing. Tentatively, she touched her stomach, ignoring the lube slicking her skin. Her stomach wasn't as flat as it used to be. There was a slight fullness to her lower belly, as well as her hips. She hadn't really paid attention, but now that she knew for certain, there was no denying the subliminal expansion of her lower half.

Memories of Daphne's impossible little girl rose to the forefront of her mind.

Was this her chance?

Was this supposed to happen?

Maybe she was ready after all?

But then again, the world was still a cruel and heartless place. Her child would be at risk at being dissected in a laboratory and studied under a microscope. Or worse…. Being forced to 'mate' with animals to conceive another hybrid.

"Miss Webb?" the doctor said, touching a button on the machine to print out the pictures. When Sable's eyes refocused, the doctor continued. "It's up to you. Whatever you decide."

"I… don't know," Sable admitted softly. She was so confused! If only she could have a moment to sit and think and feel and not have the world spin so fast and every emotion come crashing on her with the force of a ballistic missile, then maybe she could form a more coherent response and make a more informed decision.

The doctor took the pictures out of the machine and handed them to Sable, wiping down her belly before sitting her up. She sat down on the stool and regarded Sable carefully. After a moment she spoke.

"What is your biggest fear concerning this pregnancy?" she asked. "The father's acceptance? Financial responsibilities? Providing a good home? Access to proper health care?"

Sable tore her gaze from the picture, trying to think of the best way to describe her conundrum without giving away pertinent details. Not that the doctor would be allowed to speak of it anyway. Anything spoken between patient and doctor was strictly protected by privacy laws.

At least, until new laws were passed and medical histories were made public.

"Physical deformities," she said, not wanting to specify about passing a shell.

"That's it?" the doctor prodded. "You're concerned about the baby's development?"

Sable nodded. "Both our families have genetic deformities and we fear our children being born with the same problems."

"Like what?" the doctor asked.

Sable thought quickly. "My mother and two aunts suffered several miscarriages due to blood disorders. My father's side had two sets of conjoined twins, neither living past two years old."

Sable touched her stomach. "And the father has relatives who were born to wheelchairs with severe physical deformities."

"Well, there's always a chance you could suffer the same," the doctor said without mincing her words. "But, just so you know, if you decide to continue this pregnancy, we can put you on a high risk status and closely monitor you to catch the genetic defects early and give you the option to late term miscarriage."

"Like what?" Sable asked, the fog of doubt and fear slowly rolling away as the morning mist.

"Well, we can do an amniocentesis to check for early warning signs for common impairments. We can also schedule you for ultrasounds every two weeks. It will be a hassle, I know, but it will give us a chance to monitor the baby's growth and development, and accurately assess if there are any physical deformities during gestation. The earlier we detect, the more options you have."

Sable fought back the tears. She hugged herself. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"Should be the easiest and most wonderful thing in the world but it's gotten far too complicated," the doctor said sympathetically. "My wife and I tried to adopt for five years and kept being rejected. We finally went to a sperm bank and four months ago, she delivered our baby boy."

"Men don't have to put up with this shit at sperm banks," Sable muttered darkly.

"No, they don't," the doctor agreed.

"Be a much better world if men were subjected to the same restrictions they've placed on women," the nurse added, scribbling away in Sable's chart. She took out a strip of red tape and applied it to Sable's chart. The lettering read 'high risk: top priority.' When she noticed Sable watching, she motioned to the chart. "Just in case you decide to keep it. We'll have you set up."

"So if I do," Sable said slowly, "I'll get ultrasounds every two weeks to check for physical deformities, and if something is irregular, I can still terminate?"

"Yes," the doctor confirmed.

Sable took a deep, steadying breath, heart pounding in her ears. "Then I'd like to continue. See this through."

The doctor's face split into a wide, beaming grin. "That we can most certainly do!"

She got up, speaking to the nurse as she printed out another set of ultrasound pictures. "Schedule the first four ultrasounds. Also, I want a full blood panel to check for bleeding disorders and monitor vitals."

The nurse nodded, scribbling madly in the chart. She took a copy of the pictures and placed them on the inside sleeve.

"Let's get you some vitamins and ultrasounds scheduled, and then you can go home, momma," the doctor said.

Sable threw her arms around the woman, hugging her tightly. "Thank you!"

"Things will work out, you'll see," the doctor said, mirroring the sentiments of Daphne from the lobby.

"I hope so," Sable said, choking back tears. "I fear the worst."

"Every mother does," the doctor confided, releasing Sable and grabbing the ultrasound machine to wheel it to its next destination.

The three women left the room and as they walked down the hall, a gorgeous blonde poked her head out of a room. She smiled upon seeing the doctor and stepped out into the hall, a baby bundled in her arms.

"Annie! What are you doing here?" the doctor asked, kissing her wife, then their son.

"He's been fussing all morning," Annie explained. "I think his tummy is bothering him again."

"Well, mommy will just have to make his tummy feel better," the doctor cooed, then motioned to Sable. "This is my son, Liam."

Sable smiled at the adorable baby in his mother's arms. His cherubic face was scrunched up, tiny fist flexing as if reaching for something. Sable's ovaries quivered.

"He's absolutely perfect," Sable breathed.

Both mothers agreed.

Sable distanced herself from the baby as her own instinct began to flair to life. She picked up the vitamins, and scheduled ultrasounds every two weeks for the next two months.

As she left the clinic, the guard nodded politely as she passed, but Sable didn't notice. She was on cloud nine.

She'd never been so happy!

As soon as she got in the car, she paused, wrapping her arms around her lower belly. Squeezing her eyes shut she muttered, "Please, don't have a shell. Please, don't have a shell. Grow to be a normal baby that your mommy can push out."

Taking a deep breath, Sable put the car in gear, wondering how in the world she was going to tell Donnie about her decision.

Would he be angry? Sad? Frustrated? Happy?

Not wanting to think about the ways Donnie could react, Sable treated herself to a double cheeseburger and milkshake.

On the way home she contemplated how to tell him. It seemed too important to text or say over the phone. She needed to tell him face to face. Which gave her some time to practice her delivery speech when he arrived tomorrow. Too bad he'd have his family in tow, but Sable couldn't hold off telling him.

He was going to be a father.

Hopefully.

If there was no shell.

Once again, Sable held her stomach and chanted the mantra for a shell-less baby.

She also prayed Donnie would be okay with the idea of being a father.

If not…. she really didn't want to think of the alternative.

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So, what do you think? The hit counter has drastically slowed down so I'm not sure if people are too busy to read now or have lost interest.

I have the next TWO chapters already outlined on where I want to go with them, so if I can get some free time, and peace and quiet, I'll see how much I can get done and if my muse decides to follow the outline or deviate like a cross eyed squirrel on Red Bull.

Stay safe everyone!