Not A Streak of Vanity To Be Found
As per usual, here's an update at the first of the month! HAPPY OCTOBER!
THANK YOU TO: Starfire201, Kimmie98, KayleeChiara, Lambor Terror Lep, Guest #1, Lovely Rain Dancer, Tiamat1972, Blitz-Krazi-1, Wanderling, Prowls-little-angel, Elita-2, Szahara again (NUMBER 500!), VaRa129, Aura Black Chan, Guest #2, Bluebird Soaring, Guest #3, StarLitDawn, Guest #4, and Annea101
Notes have been left in your inboxes for those who have the feature available. GUESTS, please don't feel left out. I always send my thanks to all reviewers but if I don't know your ID then I cant send out the message. Though some don't log in, PLEASE know that I appreciate all that is written and I sincerely hope that ya'll stick with me and I hope you enjoy my insanity.
Sorry if this is sketchy! It was quick but I wanted to make sure ya'll got an update. Show the love and leave a review! And there's now over 500! I"m just... *thud*
00-III-OOOOO-I-O-O-O-OOIIIOO—O—O-O-O—O-O
"I think the twins are up to something," Jazz said, watching the two move through the rec room with a grace even the saboteur couldn't accomplish.
"They're always up to something," Prowl said, sipping his energon cube and reading a holonovel.
"Something more than usual," Jazz said, watching how the two pushed each other back and forth before disappearing through the door. A few seconds later, there was a heavy bang in the hall punctuated by Sunstreaker's murderous voice calling for his twins tailpipes. The noise level grew with the heated words.
"I think you should keep an optic on them." Jazz winced at some of the promised threats now filtering through his highly attuned audios.
"I always do," Prowl said, still engrossed in his holonovel.
"I have an itching in my circuits," Jazz said, his special ops skills served him well. He knew the twins were up to something. He just didn't know what.
"You should go to Ratchet," Prowl said, taking another sip of his warmed energon. "You may have caught something. You could have a rash."
"Haven't had one of those since before the war," Jazz said in all honesty, causing Prowl to nearly do a spit take.
Prowl lowered his cube and turned in slow motion to his counterpart, his optics imploring. "What?"
"Yeah, went off world to some place," Jazz offered a shrug, his vents hitching in a laugh as he recalled his adventure. "Met up with some natives, who were rather interested in our anatomy, and to be honest, theirs were rather nice as well."
Prowl sat with a stunned expression, not sure he was hearing correctly.
"As the humans say, we fooled around," Jazz offered another shrug, telling the tale as if it wasn't something to be ashamed or concerned about. "Came back to Cybertron, and the next day, I had itchy plating. Didn't think anything of it. Then the itch got worse and worse and by the time the medic treated me, I had a rust rash that required isolation due to the complexity of the strain."
"Where did you get it?" Prowl asked, still wondering if he was going to crash or not with the information. His optics roved the upper body of his black and white counterpart.
"Where do you think?" Jazz waggled his brow plates suggestively then snickered at Prowl's scandalous look. He laughed, extending his leg and allowing his pede to peek over the side of the table. "My pedes. Had the rust rash on my pedes. Their reproductive organs were on their feet. So, when we played… footsie…."
Prowl let out a strange noise that caused Jazz to give him a concerned look.
"No, this itch is more along my sensors that alert me to danger," Jazz said his optics going back to where the twins had disappeared. His pede returned to the floor. He rubbed it back and forth out of nervous habit. "No chance of anything rusting off. At least I hope not."
Prowl opened his mouth to say something but Ironhide's voice came over the main comms.
'Ironhide to Prowl.'
'Prowl here. Go ahead.'
'Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are beating the slag out of each other in hallway delta.' Ironhide reported.
'Is anyone else involved?'
'No.'
'Property damage?'
'No.'
'Personal?'
'No.'
'Damage to ship?'
'No.'
'Life threatening injuries?'
'No, at least, least, not yet.'
'Weapons out or discharged?'
'No.'
'Then leave them to it,' Prowl said. He turned to Jazz and added, "And do not play footsie with the locals. There are regulations about such interactions."
"Almost lost a pede for that little experiment," Jazz said, giving Prowl a serious look that meant he wasn't considering any more encounters with alien life. "Need pedes in my line of work. Can't sneak around with a gimpy pede that squeaks."
"It would have thrown off your dancing as well," Prowl offered a smirk before returning his attention back to the comms and Ironhide's sputtering.
Jazz's shocked expression stared at Prowl as Ironhide protested over comms.
'Leave them?' Ironhide asked, sounding surprised.
'Leave them.' Prowl reiterated. 'It's easier to let them fight it out than to break them up. If you break them up, they will just restart the fight somewhere else and next time innocent bystanders could be harmed.'
'Understood.' Ironhide said, then groaned in sympathy. 'Uh, Prowl? There may be a problem.'
'What would that be?' Prowl asked just waiting for the metaphorical shoe to drop.
'Sideswipe just ripped off Sunstreaker's olfactory sensor.' Ironhide's voice was thin, scared.
'Oh slag.' Jazz muttered, then opened an immediate comm. to Ratchet. 'Sideswipe tore off Sunstreaker's olfactory sensor. Be prepared for an eruption.'
'I can hear them fighting from here,' Ratchet answered. His voice dropped to a low, predatory rumble. 'Leave them to me.'
Jazz shivered.
'Oh! Oh, Slag! Oh, man, that is NOT pretty!' Ironhide said, keeping up a verbal commentary as the twins' ruckus could now be heard throughout the entire ship.
Using his overrides, Prowl thundered over the comms. 'Sideswipe! Sunstreaker! Desist this immediately or you will spend the next six months catering to the pre school children of Eden Elementary.'
It was instantaneous. The noise stopped. Ironhide let out a pained hiss through the comm., obviously witnessing something epic.
'Fine!' Sideswipe shouted, surprising the Second and the Third with the malice in his voice. 'I'll let the Sunny baby get his way!'
'Now get to med bay and have Ratchet to check you over and if either of you so much as raise your voices, both of you will be spending time at Eden Elementary offering yourselves as playground equipment while the new gym is constructed,' Prowl said with a cool tone that had an edge on it that could have sliced plating into shreds.
'Fine!' Sideswipe yelled over comms, though his voice carried to the rec room.
Prowl closed the line and sipped his energon once again, calm and serene. Jazz stared at him in awe.
Down in hallway Delta, Sunstreaker was poised over his brother, fist drawn back, murder gleaming in his optics, his olfactory sensor removed and leaving a sparking, gaping hole. Ironhide chose that moment to disappear, knowing that if anyone spotted Sunstreaker looking anything but perfect, he'd end them.
Sideswipe pushed himself from the bulkhead where he had fallen against during the struggle. But instead of showing his brother pure loathing, as Sunstreaker had been transmitting the entire fight, his face was split into a diabolical grin.
"Ready for phase two?" Sideswipe asked.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Sunstreaker sighed, his hand going to his face and checking out the damage. When he found the place where his olfactory sensor used to be, he glared at Sideswipe, his engine rumbling in true rage.
"All part of the plan," Sideswipe said in a placating tone, holding up his hands to calm his twin. He flooded their bond with positive emotion, earning himself another rumble of warning. "You wanted Ratchet to fix your nose last time but he wouldn't. Remember?"
Sunstreaker halted his advance, exhaling a hot gust in defeat. He had wanted Ratchet to fix his imperfect countenance after a Con had punched him in the face. But Ratchet, being the ever tack in the tire, refused to smooth out the bump in the bridge line along the elegantly proportioned nose. Now, having had said sense removed, rather brutally but his pain receptors had been turned off before the fight, Ratchet would have no choice but to use Sunstreaker's own artistically rendered blueprint to fix his ill-perceived imperfection.
"I can't stop now," Sunstreaker said in defeat, giving his twin a hard look that meant that if this didn't work, there would be a real fight later.
"That's the spirit!" Sideswipe said, clapping his brother on the back and turning him toward the doomed path that led to med bay. As Sideswipe stepped forward, a grinding, screeching noise erupted from his hip. His leg wobbled, his body threatening to bend at the waist. Sideswipe looked at his dysfunctional hip with a frown then turned to his twin.
"Do you mind removing your nose from my ass so I can walk?" Sideswipe deadpanned.
Sunstreaker huffed an angered noise but complied, removing the now useless sensor from between his brother's aft plates from where it was shoved during their fight.
Sideswipe extended his leg without the horrible noise and offered his brother a devilish look. "Now, let's go and get Ratchet to fix you up."
Sunstreaker nodded, hoping that he didn't meet anyone on the way to medbay. He had never looked so ugly in his life not counting having his nose askew at .004% microns and an indentation from a Con's knuckle that Ratchet refused to treat.
And if Sideswipe's plan didn't work, Sunstreaker's foot would soon replace where his nose had been jammed during the skirmish.
00-III-OOOOO-I-O-O-O-OOIIIOO—O—O-O-O—O-O
Reviews would be loved and DO help the muse.
