Based on a True Story
The buzzer on Minato's alarm went off. Rolling over on the mattress with an irritated grumble, he hammered the snooze button with the dead weight of his palm as he flopped onto his stomach. He had a long night. It was only seven o'clock and he had a day off from work thanks to him cashing in his paid time off. Ever since last night's discord fiasco, sleep eluded him. Not because he wasn't tired, no, but because he was a damn pervert that couldn't stop rubbing one out over the boob pic Matsu sent him last night. Used kleenexes piled high in the trash can like a mound of snowballs. So high, in fact, that they ascended well past the brim. Some of the crumpled tissues had rolled off and onto the floor. He'd never hear the end of it from Miya if she had to clean it up, god forbid.
Scratching his drained and surprisingly vigorous sack, he sat up and yawned. Although he'd called off work, he still had plans for the day, mainly in relation to spending time with his flock. Tsukiumi suggested last week that she would like to visit an aquarium, since they were opening a brand new exhibit featuring professionally trained seals. She never really came across as much of an animal lover to him, but somehow, he could picture her adoring the odd-looking blobs. He'd decided it would make a nice getaway from the monotony of the inn for a few hours, and it would help a lot considering Matsu opted out, being the recluse she was. If anything, it would help him get his mind off of her and the two seals she was packing.
He got up from bed to head into the bathroom for a quick shower. He had needs just like any healthy man his age would, but he still felt dirty about it.
The shower's hot spray was soothing to his mind and body. His stress melted away as the warm mist opened his sinuses and clouded the room. After a few minutes he gave the shower knob a twist until it stopped. He snatched a towel and tied it around his waist as he stepped out of the tub and approached the sink. He rubbed the fog from the mirror, splashed his face with water from the tap, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and got dressed. Then he headed downstairs where his harem awaited him in the kitchen.
"Good morning, Minato." Miya greeted him with a smile. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really." He took a seat next to Musubi, who was scarfing down a plate of juicy sausages and hash browns. And she was really going at it.
When Musubi was hungry, she could eat an entire sausage in one bite. She didn't even have to chew or anything. She could just swallow it whole. This was a talent that she had that was very unique.
"Manners, Musubi," the landlady said with a death glare. The mask emerged from over her shoulder and the room's occupants felt their blood run cold.
Musubi swallowed her last bite nervously. "Sorry, Miya."
The mask faded back to whatever pit from whence it came. "I'll go put on some coffee. Do you all need anything else? Maybe breakfast rolls or some eggs?" Miya asked as she stood up from her seat and headed for the stove.
"Nah, I'm good Miya," said Minato. "I appreciate the food you've been making us, but we're gonna go see the seal exhibit in a bit."
"Oh, right. That's today isn't it?" Miya said, stroking her chin. "What time does it start?"
"Well, the show begins at around nine, so we have more than enough time to walk there if we go now."
"Why walk?" Musubi asked, this time remembering to actually bite her food. "Just hop on my back and I'll give you a ride."
"I'd prefer not to leap across tall buildings, thank you."
"Aww, you're no fun." She shivered as she felt the icy glare of the mask again.
"Please don't talk with your mouth full," Miya said, her kindly eyes like steel. "I don't need half-chewed food on my table, thank you.
...
The walk to the aquarium for the most part was uneventful. The price to enter would have been expensive if not for Tsukiumi flashing her MBI card. The group wandered through the walls of fish tanks and tunnel-like paths where sea creatures of all shapes and sizes took residence, from the largest of sharks to the smallest of piranha. There was even an octopus and beluga whale, which had their own exhibits.
"Wow, Minaka really went all out with this place." Minato mused aloud as his eyes wandered about the showcase. His accompanying harem (and Kusano) felt much the same: pointing, smiling, buying merchandise. Tsukiumi in particular felt right at home. Not surprising, since she was in her element.
She looked up at the clock and noticed it was almost 9. "Ah, 'tis almost time."
"Yeah, let's hurry over to the seal exhibit and find our seats."
...
Tsukiumi led the group through the double doors along with the flow of other attendees. They entered a large theater-like room with rows of chairs descending every few steps until they reached the bottom, where a guardrail separated them from the icy stage. As luck would have it, Tsukiumi's MBI card granted them all seats in the front row. Minato was thankful for her generosity with her allowance. With their rears firmly planted, they all looked on with smiles as the remaining minute passed. Once the clock struck nine, the cloud of chatter hushed and spotlights illuminated the stage. A keeper with a microphone stepped out from behind the scenes and into the beam.
"Hello everyone and welcome to our very first show! I see we have attracted a full house and I know none of you will leave disappointed! The first seal we have managed to adopt into our fine home is quite famous, actually. Their videos on YouTube have views in the tens of millions and have been shared the world over! Now, without further ado, let me introduce who you've all been waiting for!" She presented her arm to the pool a few yards away from her. "Agu!"
On cue, the absolute unit of cuddles emerged from the water like a jumbo slug, its belly causing a loud smack against the snowy concrete as it landed. It shook the freezing moisture off its slick grey blob body like a canine.
"Wow, it's so big." Minato blinked with a grin. His eyes wandered to his harem's, who also grew wide smiles. Kusano leaned forward in her seat and giggled, all while Tsukiumi's eyes glittered like sequins. He never saw her so entranced by something before.
Her hands clasped beneath her chin, she spoke the words, "Must. Pet. Chonky. Sea pooch."
Minato was happy she was enjoying herself so much, even if it was a bit strange for her to act in such a manner. It reminded him of the way Kuu acted the day they walked past a pet store on the way home from the grocery store and she caught a glimpse of bunnies for the first time. A childlike innocence wasn't something he imagined Tsukiumi would be comfortable letting herself show. Up until now, she'd been a stern adult with a prideful demeanor.
"Wow Tsukiumi, you must really love seals, don't you?" Musubi asked her.
She glanced over at her with a bubbly expression, her face a chibified blob. "Well, where to begin? For one, they're a creature most fascinating. Necessity being the mother of invention, from her sprang forth that which I find so endearing: their method of hunt. Perhaps they share common parentage with the loyal hound, for they, too, once reared, may dutifully follow commands ashore, persistent and determined whilst bereft of proper appendages to maneuver."
Musubi blinked and her head tilted. Her cowlick twists into a question mark. "Um, can you use an easier-to-understand vocabulary next time?"
"Canst thou readest a book?"
"Books don't have pretty pictures!"
"Let thy imagination illustrate the text!"
"Illu-what now?"
Their argument was cut short as the trainer used the mic to address the audience. "Now, can we have two volunteers? Come on, don't be shy! Raise your hands and come down to say hello!"
Tsukiumi gasped and her hand rocketed into the air, her tendons stretching well past what was comfortable. But it was worth it just to get her hand a couple of inches higher. Kuu had hers up, too, along with more than half the audience. But none of them had the same determined urgency as #09.
It seemed to have paid off, as the trainer aimed her finger in her direction and called out, "My, you seem quite eager! You and the child seated next to you, come on in!"
Tsukiumi's pearly white fangs glistened as she huddled herself and squeed like a whinnying steed. "Yes! Thank thee"
Kuu was also excited. She threw her arms up in joy and cheered, "Hooray!"
Minato's expression softened, and his eyes became warm. "Have fun, you two."
"A glorious day, second only to our wedding, Minato! I shall finally meet a real-life seal!" She glanced at Kuu as the keeper opened the gate. "Come, Kusano. Agu awaits our assistance!"
The green girl smiled and kicked herself off the chair, skipping over to the stage as Tsukiumi followed her in. The crowd around them parted to let them through as they went. The trainer waved her arm towards the water and spoke once more to the gathered audience. "Don't forget, you all get free postcards and stickers with admission. And if any of you are still interested in adopting a seal, there will be an opportunity for a photo-op after the show."
Their faces were flushed with excitement, and Minato couldn't blame them one bit. But as he watched Tsukiumi approach the pool, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He snagged it and saw Matsu had messaged him on Discord again.
"I wonder what she wants now?" He muttered to himself, opening the app. He wish he didn't. Low and behold he sent him another boob pic. He gasped, clicked the power button off, and immediately pocketed it. "Come on now, Matsu! Show some restraint!"
…
Tsukiumi's heels crunched on the snow as she and Kuu made their way to the seal. Bouncing over on its chubby tum-tum, it looked up at them with curiosity in its shiny black eyes and a wide smile.
The trainer picked up a bucket and handed it to the flower child. "Here, let's encourage Agu to do some tricks for you! If you like, you can feed him too!"
Kusano took the bucket in her tiny hand and reached inside for one of the slimy fish. She tossed it to him underhanded and he snatched it out of the air with its canine-like jowls.
It swallowed it in one bite and said, "FIBSH!"
Tsukiumi's jaw dropped as she gasped. "It spoke!"
Kuu giggled, "Yay, a talking seal!"
"Now," the trainer said. "Let's see Agu do some tricks." She looked at Kuu and Tsukiumi. "Now, wiggle your hand as I do."
Tsukiumi and Kuu mimicked the action and soon enough the chonky boi rolled over onto its side and began to rapidly smack its chonk with his little flipper.
SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!SLAP!
The trainer held her hand up indicating for them to stop. As they did, so did the seal. It remained still, lazing about on its stomach waiting for the next command.
"Okay, that was great!" Kusano cheered. "Come on, Agu, give us more!"
The sea doggo's black eyes turned to them with a look of excitement. It raised one of its front flippers and pointed it toward Tsukiumi.
"Looks like he wants you to feed him next," the trainer said.
"I would be delighted," she replied as Kuu passed the bucket to her. The trainer started twirling her finger in a circle and Agu's maw opened with a happy smile. It began to roll around like a fat, bouncy log.
"It's just like a doggy!" Kuu cheered.
After the third roll, the trainer stopped and nodded to Tsukiumi. She tossed the fish and again it was swallowed the same way Musubi downed her sausages this morning.
Another trainer emerged from the curtain from the stage's left, carrying a box full of plastic rings. They resembled mini hula hoops. He handed one to Tsukiumi and Kuu.
Taking one in hand, Tsukiumi asked, "What purpose doth this serve?"
"Just roll it over to him and watch what he does," the trainer explained.
Tsukiumi gave a nod, her mind brimming with anticipation, and gently pushed the hoop over to Agu. The seal chased right after it and caught it on its head. It looked like he was wearing a dog collar now.
"That's a very smart sea doggo," the trainer commented with a smile. "Okay, now it's your turn, little girl."
Kuu did as asked and let the hoop roll. The seal, however, missed it and it rolled into the pool, floating on the water. The seal bounced right after it and slunk its body into the water. A few moments passed and Agu emerged from the water poking its head through the center of the hoop before swimming to the edge and coming back out. It bounced back over and the trainer removed the hoop from his neck.
The audience clapped and cheered for their favorite seal.
"Well, 'twas certainly fun," Tsukiumi said with a grin.
"Egg!"
Kusano's mouth opened in shock. "Agu just spoke again!"
"Egg! Egg!"
"Would it be unbecoming of me to pet him?" Tsukiumi asked.
"Not at all," the trainer winked. "You can even hug him if you'd like."
Her eyes began to sparkle. "Truly?!"
"Of course!"
Tsukiumi wasted little time. She got down on one knee and placed her hand upon Agu's head. It was silly smooth, almost rubber-like. She circled her arms around it and picked him up in her arms, giving him a good squeeze against her chest with one of the most wholesome smiles both Kuu and the audience would ever witness.
"How couldst thou be so soft, and squishy?!"
Minato got up from his seat and pulled out his phone to take a picture. A memento like this should be preserved for all time.
After Kusano took her turn, a few more tricks occurred before everyone was finally instructed to leave. This was a good day to be alive. No one could be happier if they tried. Nothing would ever ruin this moment.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Agu gleefully bellowed, "...egg."
…
A while later, the group returned to the inn and helped Miya clean the house for a few hours. Once they were finished, they all meandered off to do their own thing. Minato tromped up the steps after Tsukiumi.
"Hey, Tsukiumi, wait up. I have something to show you."
She turned around. "Yes, what is it, husband?"
"I took this picture of you hugging the seal. I think it looks nice."
"Oh, let me see!"
He pulled the phone from his pocket and opened the photo gallery. He tapped the picture in question to superimpose it and handed it over.
"Aww, 'tis so wholesome and adorable! Send it to me posthaste! Please!"
"Sure thing." He fiddled with the pic and sent it to her via text. "There you go."
Tsukiumi's phone chimed and she opened it. Sure enough, there it was. "Thank thee, Minato." She pecked him on the cheek. "I shall treasure it always."
"No problem. I'm gonna go do some laundry then get to studying. See you later!"
Tsukiumi smiled and glanced at the picture again. She then got an idea. Why should she be the only soul to enjoy the image? Why not share her love for seals with the world? Unfortunately, she lacked the technical knowledge to do so. Perhaps Matsu could render aid?
She went to knock on her door and the redhead soon emerged.
"Oh hey, Tsukiumi. What's up?"
She handed the phone over and Matsu adjusted her glasses to look at the image. "Aww, how cute."
"Is it not the most wholesome thing imaginable?"
"It really is. Is that all you wanted from me?"
"Not quite. I wish to share it with the world, but sadly I'm not savvy with technology. Canst thou help a friend in need?"
Matsu smirked. "Of course. Come on in and I'll teach you all you need to know."
…
After explaining the layman's knowledge of the internet and social media, Matsu assisted Tsukiumi in making an account on reddit. 'Twas a place where all topics imaginable were discussed, from video gaming to disgusting pornography. There was even a "subreddit" dedicated solely to seals. That was her best course. The people there would love it and be so jealous of her. She couldn't wait for their envious delight.
"Okay Tsukiumi, we have your account created. Now all you have to do is press this button and the image will be shared with the world.
"Thou needest not tell me twice!" She clicked "Upload". Now it was time for the patience game. Soon enough, she got her first response.
It was not what she was expecting.
'Please stop'
Tsukiumi raised a brow, dumbfounded. She decided to reply. 'Stop what?'
'This creepy goth maid stuff, let's keep it to seals.'
Matsu was just as taken off guard by the outrage. "What the hell is this guy on about? The seal is clearly in the picture. How are you not sticking with seals?"
"Imbecilic cretin!" Tsukiumi grumbled, squeezing her fist until her veins showed. "Jealousy hath blinded them to this wholesome moment."
"It's hard to win an argument against someone that's intelligent, but it's impossible to win one against a moron. Don't indulge him, he's obviously trolling. I'm sure the next few comments will be nicer."
A new person left a comment.
'Cringe'
Then another came, 'No. Just please, no.'
And more followed.
'BoobS don't work that way'
'Porn is temporary. Seals are always.'
'The seal is confused... And im quite confused as well.'
'WTF. Who wears a maid outfit to a water show'
Matsu swallowed. "Or not…"
'Maaan just let the hot goth maid hug a chonker seal.'
"Finally, someone who makes sense…" Matsu sighed in relief. It didn't last though. His comment was immediately downvoted into oblivion in addition to the pic. Mob mentality at its finest.
'Bruh moment'
'did you photoshop the seal as well?'
'Dammit dammit dammit, I wish I was that seal between those tits.'
"WHAT CRANIAL INJURY HATH BEFALLEN THESE ILLITERATE PEONS?!" Tsukiumi roared, eye twitching in bewildered anger. "The Bard would weep at this perversion of language! Doth proper punctuation exist in the swine trough they were raised in? All I wished was to share my love of seals and this is my reception?!"
She decided to leave a comment to respond to one of the posts, dumbing down her cultured language in the name of diplomacy. 'You're all being rude and uncultured.'
A minute later, and sure enough another negative comment filtered in.
'Putting soft core fetish fuel on a seal subreddit isn't uncultured?'
"Fetish fu-?! This is my normal everyday attire!" Tsukiumi began smashing her head into the wall. "I simply nuzzled a seal and all they see are my breasts?!"
"That says an awful lot about them, and that's reddit for you. They're all hive-minded snowflakes, except maybe that one guy." Matsu sighed. "I'm just as bewildered as you are, Tsukiumi. I mean sure, you were showing some skin, but it's not like you uploaded porn or anything. Your heart was in the right place publishing it. Maybe it would be best to delete the image from the website?"
"I suppose that would be for the best." She handed the phone back to Matsu. "Here. Do thy thing."
"No, you do it."
"How?"
"I'll show you. Here." As Matsu went about helping her scrub the picture from reddit, she couldn't help but feel awful for Tsukiumi. She was heartbroken and devastated. She had no ill intent in publishing the picture. She simply wanted others to revel in the joy she had. It wasn't fair. She then got an idea.
A very "Matsu" idea. In that, it was both genius and extremely perverted.
"Hey," she said, trying to keep the lewd excitement out of her voice, focusing on wanting to make Tsukiumi feel better. "I know you could use a little comfort right now from Minato. Would you like to go talk to him?"
"I would, but he is studying at the moment."
"I know a way that we can circumvent that."
"How?"
"Let's make you a Discord account."
"I have had my share of discord for the day, thank thee."
"No, no, listen…"
…
Later that night…
Minato had been studying for the last three hours, cramming for an exam that would be coming up in the next couple of days. He really needed to put his all in this time, unless he wanted to be a three-time ronin failure.
His Discord then went off on his Chromebook. He opened the tab and noticed a new friend request coming in. If the pfp was anything to go by (it was the same picture he took of her at the aquarium), the username was a dead giveaway as to who 'Water_Celebration-09' was.
He accepted the request and typed out the message, 'Is that you Tsukiumi?'
'Yes.'
'Can't say I expected you of all people to start using the internet. What's up?'
'I'm in need of comfort. Seals have been ruined for me.'
'Why is that?'
'The internet and its underbelly of dregs.'
'Mind elaborating?'
'I sought to share the picture you took with the world and the vultures on reddit lost their minds.'
'What? Why?'
'It seems they weren't able to look past my breasts or attire.'
'...' was all he had to say of that. What did people have against the concept of chesty women? It's not like they were lesser human beings or something.
'My thoughts precisely. My day is ruined.'
'I'm so sorry, Tsukiumi. Is there anything I can do?'
"I know not. I yearn for thy affection, but the landlady would have my head if we were to be illicit.'
'You're not going to try cybering me like Matsu did yesterday, are you?'
'Cybering? What is cybering?'
'Ever hear of sexting? Matsu started sending me nudes and REALLY detailed descriptions of sex acts to try and get us both to mutually...well...you know?'
'I had no idea.'
The fact she wasn't chewing him out for going behind her back, or even marching down to give him a faceful of her water powers, should've tipped him off.
'Neither did I. She thought it would be a good way to get around the landlady's rules.'
'Were either of you discovered?'
'Well...I'm still alive, aren't I?'
'A moment, please, my loving husband?'
'Sure. I'll be here for you.'
A few moments passed and sure enough, he got an eye full of her plush bottom, with her lace panties and black dress nowhere to be seen, as the pic she sent loaded.
He did a spit-take and exclaimed, "Tsukiumi! Not you, too!"
XXXXXX
A/N: I've been scratching my head over what kind of scenario I could write for this chapter for a while and was unsure how to go about it. During this time I commissioned an artist to draw some art of Tsukiumi hugging a seal (I want to make it a running theme in my works that she adores them. I feel it fits her.) and I decided to share it with the world, including on reddit.
...that was a big mistake on my part. The backlash Tsukiumi got in the fic for publishing the image reflects the experience I had, namely in the subreddit focused on seals. I figured if anyone would love it, they would. And why would I think otherwise? Everyone I shared it with up to that point, both irl and on other sites/subreddits thought it was wholesome and adorable. The comments she received are based on what they said, though they aren't word for word and my editor and I did make some of them up. I was going to directly copy and paste them, but my editor and I thought better of it since that would have been petty, so we modified their feedback to fit within the context of the story. Now I know even writing this story itself can also be considered petty, and you're right, it is. But hey, I thought if anything good should come out of that nasty experience, it should be some laughs on the part of my readers. If I accomplished that, was it not worth it? I wanted to turn a negative into a positive and I felt the situation was hilarious in hindsight, so I just rolled with it and this is the result.
Not all the comments were bad, some did like it, but it was universally agreed that it didn't belong there because of the ecchi nature. I've since deleted the reddit post. I still feel the people there were overreacting, but that's how life works I suppose. My biggest mistake was not labeling it as NSFW there when I shared it. At the time, I thought it was tame and they would look past the big boobs and appreciate its wholesome heartwarming nature, though I guess you can blame that on me being desensitized from watching ecchi anime for so many years. But you live, learn, and move on. I meant no ill will in posting it and my heart was in the right place. I feel that's what matters.
Hope you all enjoyed. Till next time.
