Disclaimer: I only own Eva, nothing else. Not making money, please don't sue.

AN: Thank you for your continued support and reviews. I've loved reading the feedback you've given so far. Here's another for you to read.

Warnings: Adult themes - grief and death.

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Chapter 8 - Endure

During that first week outside of the Shire, Eva almost always found her place near the back of the line of ponies. She didn't mind this at all, as she got to know Bilbo quite well. She discovered that he was quite the gentle soul, and a good balance for the group of rough dwarrow. Sometimes, Fili and Kili would join them, and Bofur was known to lag behind for a chat or two.

Because of her perceived gentler nature (and the fact she was a woman, though this was never mentioned), it had become Eva's job in the evening to help Bombur with the cooking and serving of the evening meal. Bombur was usually a quiet soul, but around food he was a joy to be around. She got along well with this rotund dwarf, and even when she was sore and tired at the end of a day, Bombur's joy at the prospect of food was contagious. Cooking was something that was in Eva's wheelhouse, as the Company discovered. Her small, deft fingers meant that Bombur could get food to the Company faster, and her palette meant that it had been rare the evening meal was lacking in taste. Her quiet approach ensured that if some of the members had been having a harder day, she could place the bowl down in silence and leave them to their brooding.

Often, it was the elder dwarrow that she had to be weary around. The nightly delivery of their meals was frequently frustrating for her, as they didn't even seem to acknowledge her presence when she put the bowls down. It seemed that Dwalin and Gloin in particular were intent on ignoring her, not that she could do anything about it. She was at least trying her best given the situation.

The ponies were walking alongside the banks of a river in the bright sunshine today. Eva was feeling a bit warm in her travel clothing, but otherwise in high spirits. She was laughing gently at one of Bofur's stories of when he had been in Ered Luin when something snapped in the bushland to her right. Her pony started a bit, but she calmed it quickly. Bofur's brow furrowed as he fell quiet.

Eva could feel rather than see the unease that travelled up the line of ponies. Looking around her, she noticed something almost immediately.

"Master Bofur?" Eva began quietly

"Aye, Miss Eva?"

"Don't you think it's a little too quiet?"

Bofur was about to answer when an almighty screech rent the air. The ponies reared, and while Eva was able to calm hers and Bilbo's relatively quickly, the ponies at the front of the line were not so lucky.

Kili's pony reared, and in the process it lost its footing. The young heir gave a yelp as he, along with his pony, fell into the river.

"KEE!" Fili yelled.

Eva didn't think as she wrenched her pack open, accessing the rope that Gandalf had given her. Tying one end to the loop around her waist, she tossed the other end to an alarmed Bilbo.

"Tie this to Daisy! Quick!" she urged.

Bilbo fumbled with the rope, but tied it securely to the horn of her saddle. Eva stripped off her heavy travel coat and in one fluid movement, dismounted and sprinted towards the river bank.

"HOLD ON!" Eva yelled as she launched herself straight into the river, the rope tethered tightly to her pony. The water was bracingly cold, but she shoved that aside as she honed in on the current carrying one of their Company away.

"Miss Eva!" Bilbo called out in panic.

"KEE!" Fili screamed as he saw his brother go under the current, feet thundering towards the back of the line of ponies.

Eva's head popped up and she spat out water. The current was strong and she was grateful for the rope as she knew she'd never have the strength to fight it. Kili's head popped up not far from her and he spluttered.

"KILI!"

In the current, he managed to turn his head, his eyes wide with fear before going under again. Eva used her swimming lessons to her advantage as she dove down and kicked hard. She managed to grab the scruff of his tunic and pulled him up to the surface. Through water-logged ears, she could hear the cries of the Company.

Using the slack end of the rope, she wound it around Kili's solid waist, going under water in order to make sure it was secure. He was gasping for air as they rode the current.

"Kili, I've got you!" she yelled through the sound of rushing water. The terrified dwarf fought to face her. Her eyes held steely determination as she yelled her council "Just focus on keeping your head above water! Don't fight the current!"

The current bumped him together harshly and Kili could feel her arm wrap around his chest as they were pushed along. Her arm anchored him against his fear and his other hand came to hold the rope. They turned to each other despite the current.

"I've got you." Eva yelled again. She then raised her arm very deliberately and waved.

Kili felt the rope go taut and they were being pulled against the current, back to the river bank. The two held on tight as they were brought in, their hands white on the rope until they felt the river stone beneath them.

"KEE!" Fili yelled as he and Thorin pulled the rope to shore. Kili saw Dori and Dwalin rush over to help pull. Fili raced into the river to lift one of his brother's arms around his shoulders. Kili tightened his hold on Eva as they scrambled out.

"Let me through!" Oin bellowed.

As rapid-fire Khuzdul shot around her, Eva undid the knot that tied the rope to her with trembling hands. A couple of steps was all she could take before the weight of her frigid and waterlogged clothing brought her to her knees. Almost immediately, a small arm slid around her frame.

"Miss Eva?" Bilbo stuttered

Her breath was stuttered. "Tired…cold…..."

"Come on, Miss Eva. We need to get you out of your wet clothes."

She gave a distracted nod as she struggled to stand. Suddenly, her head was sent into a spin as she felt herself being lifted clean off the ground and into strong arms. Instinctively, she looped her arms around her rescuer's neck. Wearily, she lifted her head to find that it was Nori, his three-pointed hair knocked ascrew.

"Master Nori?" she chattered.

"Hush." he whispered harshly, but Eva could clearly hear the edge of fear in his command.

She let out a heavy breath as she leaned her head on his shoulder "Thank you."

Eva was propped up against a solid tree trunk on the edge of the bank. She felt someone kneeling by her.

"That was reckless, Miss Eva." Nori began.

Great….. No point in trying to-

"Aye!" Oin agreed as he knelt beside her "T'was reckless, Lass! But ye saved our Prince."

Eva lifted her head, still shivering "Master Oin, I would respectfully recommend that you keep an eye on Kili for the next day or so. He was forced under a few times-"

"Dry drownin'. I've heard of it, lassie." Oin finished gently "But I'm not here for the Prince, I'm here for you now. D'yeh have dry clothing?"

Eva nodded "My pack." she whispered.

Hurried footfalls approached "Thorin's called it for the day." came Dwalin gruff voice "We'll be camping up there a bit." Just as quickly, he turned around and thudded back to their emerging camp.

Eva sighed as Dwalin left.

"T'was a brave thing you did, Lassie." Oin said as he helped her out of her wet clothing "We dwarves are not known for our ability to swim."

"Thanks, Master Oin."

He tsked "None o' that now, Lassie. Yeh just saved our Prince. Oin will do just fine."

Eva looked the old healer in the eye. "The name's Eva." she said with a gentle smile.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Evening found Eva resting by the fire, Bilbo sitting beside her and chatting quietly. The fire crackled merrily and her eyes slid shut.

"Miss Eva?" Bilbo began softly

"Mmm? I can hear you…. just resting my eyes." she mumbled

A bowl of something warm was pressed into her hands and she opened her eyes. "Thank you, Master Kili." she said quietly.

The young heir knelt in front of her "You saved my life today. I think you have permission to just call me Kili."

Eva favoured him with a gentle but cheeky smile "Come now, Kili. You're saying that a trickle of water would claim you? Oh ye of little faith."

"Thank you all the same. Where did you learn how to swim?"

"Liam." she said quietly.

"A friend?"

"Kili!" Bilbo hissed, hitting his arm

"My husband."

At this, the entire Company went quiet.

"You did not tell us you'd a husband! We're not-" Dori stuttered

"I'm widowed, Master Dori." Eva swallowed here, but her gentle tone never wavered as she saw some of the Company flinch "Two years before Mahal and Yavanna sent for me, there was a landslide in my hometown. My husband was killed as he tried to free the local children in the library when it collapsed….." Eva closed her eyes tightly, willing the tears to not fall.

"All three of my sons were in there-"

There was a collective gasp out of the Company. Bilbo laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Connor," she rapsed "would have been ten the week after the slide. My twins, Andrew and Orson, had just turned three."

"I'm so sorry." Kili whispered. "I didn't know."

Eva looked at the young heir with unshed tears in her eyes "It will always hurt, losing all my boys in one day. No mother should have to go through having to bury their own children before their time.

"So Kili, don't thank me. I know the pain of losing children all too well. I was simply trying to spare your mother."

"That is a heavy burden to bear, Miss Eva." came Balin's gentle tone.

Eva turned to him "That's why I count myself blessed that I'm travelling with you."

Kili wore a confused look. Eva wiped her eyes on her sleeve and gently touched her nose, then reached out to gently touch the tip of Kili's nose. "You are khazad, Kili. Courageous, loyal, steadfast, enduring." Eva swallowed thickly

"In my darkest hours, I would read of the mighty tales of the Khazad, enduring and strong as the stone from which Mahal carved them. Your history, your strength to endure, was what gave me strength in my darkness."

Eva turned to a now awestruck Kili."So you see, in many ways, I'm shoulder-to-shoulder with a race that has always inspired me. That I can journey with you is enough for me."

Thorin's deep voice sounded from behind Balin, quiet reverence colouring it "I am humbled that you would consider the Khazad as you do."

She gave a gentle tilt of her head, indicating her thanks and acknowledging his words. She felt Kili shuffle in beside her and his head dropped on her shoulder as she ate her fill. Kili began to shake slightly, so gently she removed her own cloak from her shoulders, throwing it atop of Kili.

"Eva-"

"You are trembling. Indulge me." she said as she hushed the young dwarf.

"Aye!" called Nori with a smirk "Next, she'll sing you a lullaby!"

"Actually," Ori began quietly "I wouldn't mind that."

A few of the dwarves turned to him in shock. "I was so young when Amad passed. I can't even remember her singing, and I know she used to ..." Ori trailed off tearfully.

"It's been a trying day." Balin began diplomatically as Dori comforted his youngest brother "Why don't we set up watch, then we can have some music."

Eva watched as the rest of the camp got ready for the night with Dwalin on first watch. In a surprising turn of events, she found that the camp had been split down the middle, the elder dwarrow and Gandalf on one side of the fire, and the younger of the Company, laying out their bedrolls around Eva, Bilbo included.

"Will you sing for us?" whispered an exhausted Ori.

"Please?" Kili begged.

"Please?" mocked Nori and Bofur.

Eva's booted foot kicked Nori playfully, but she said nothing to him. Turning her attention to Ori, tucked into the bedroll to her side, she forced the tears away as the sight reminded her sharply of her youngest son. She placed a gentle hand on Ori's shoulder, his nervousness endearing. She remembered the lullaby she sang to her own boys, though it pained her to remember, and she settled deeper into the boulder, lending her shoulder to Kili as the warmth from her cloak began to settle his breathing. She hummed a few notes, getting a feel for the melody that she was trying to remember.

"Lay down your head and i'll sing you a lullaby

back to the years of loo-li-lai-lay"

Whatever the dwarves expected, this was definitely not it. Eva's gentle alto voice echoed around the camp; a warm, soothing balm for their weariness. Nori's smirk fell from his face as he listened to Eva in awe. Bofur sat up in his bed roll at attention.

"and i'll sing you to sleep and i'll sing you tomorrow

bless you with love for the road that you go."

The sudden plucked notes of a harp joined her, her head snapping to attention as none other than Thorin played, his travel harp sitting in his lap and his eyes staring at Eva as if looking into her very soul. She gave a brief confused smile before she turned her attention to Kili who had raised his head in astonishment. She touched his nose softly as he lay his head back down on her shoulder.

In the hush, Dwalin was able to study the Company. Eva's dark eyes held a motherly affection for the younger dwarves gathered around her. Scanning the camp, he saw Gloin and Bombur looking at her, almost wistfully, as if remembering their own children. He saw Bilbo place a hand on Eva's shoulder and his voice joined hers.

"May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune

with diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet

and may you need never to banish misfortune

may you find kindness in all that you meet."

Bilbo's tenor harmonised softly with Eva's voice, the resulting song easing the Company. Gandalf simply wore an indulgent smile.

"May there always be angels to watch over you

to guide you each step of the way

to guard you and keep you safe from all the harm

loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay."

Thorin played on, his gaze occasionally drifting to gaze at his Company, the return to the woman in their Company. He was reminded sharply of his sister, Dis. She would occasionally sing the exact same song to the boys when they were much younger, hence the reason he knew it so well. A calm descended on the camp, the elder dwarrow sitting in silence as the music brought back memories of their own younger years.

If nothing else, Thorin, Gandalf had said at Bag End, let her presence remind them of why they are journeying to reclaim their home from the dragon.

"May you bring love and may you bring happiness

be loved in return to the end of your days

now fall off to sleep, i'm not meaning to keep you

i'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay."

As she finished, she noticed both Kili's and Ori's eyes drooping. A tender smile crossed her face as she regarded them, silently beckoning their brothers to help especially as Kili's head had grown heavy on her shoulder.

"That was Amad's song." Kili mumbled as his brother helped him into his own bedroll. Eva said nothing.

"Thank you, Eva." Ori murmured as he buried himself into his bedroll with Nori's help.

"You're most welcome, Ori." she crooned softly.

Across the camp, Gandalf said to the elder dwarrows quietly "And you said that she would be useless."

Nobody bothered to argue with him.

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A complete suit of armour was displayed before Eva, shining silvery-white in the morning light. It had been clearly made with a woman's form in mind, and had detailed Khuzdul runes etched onto the chest and back plates. She had no clue what any of it said, but the impression that it gave off was enough for her to realise that it was meant for her.

Her hands trembled as she reached out slowly, uncertain as to whether now was the time to put it on. But before she could reach it, the suit vanished and the scene changed.

There was noise everywhere and as she looked up, the silhouette of Erebor rose from the background. The clashing of metal and cries of the injured and dying surrounded her on all sides. Without really knowing how, her legs propelled her forward and away from the main battle. She glanced around and recognised the icy surrounds as Ravenhill from her memories of the movie.

"No…" she whispered. Desperately, she scanned the scene and froze as she saw Dwalin's head and hurried run. She ran after him.

The scene that met her made her blood run cold.

Eva was seeing herself, bleeding and near death in the exact same suit of armour, wrapped tight in Thorin's strong arms. Her knees buckled as she saw Dwalin barking out an order to dwarves that she couldn't see. She saw the strong, battle-worn hands of the Captain of the Guard tremble violently before he wrenched the armour off her body, desperately trying to staunch the flow of her blood onto the ice. She watched horrified as her eyes had slid shut and her body had gone limp.

"NOOO!"

Eva was torn from her dream by a loud snore from the other side of the camp, but it did nothing to settle her now-racing heart. Wide awake and panting for breath, she willed herself to calm down, but the images of her on the ice refused to leave.

It took a very long time before Eva was calm enough to get back to sleep.

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Song: Sleepsong - Secret Garden

AN: Reviews are welcomed and encouraged. What are your thoughts? Edited as of 5/2/2022.