Chapter 44 – The Beast
Despite what most would think, playing dead and being completely silent is not the easiest thing, especially when one is being manhandled by unseen gorilla armed staff while inside a body bag. Needless to say, the trip to his final destination, a lock box in a morgue on the outskirts of Tokyo 3, was an interesting and stressful one for Ryouji Kaji. The individuals who'd moved him to there from the ventilation room he'd encountered Commander Ikari within had dropped him at least twice. The urge to vocalize his displeasure with that had been nearly overpowering but he'd kept up the limp corpse act in spite of it. Pretending to be a corpse was better than actually being one after all. By the time he'd gotten to the morgue the inside of the plastic body bag had been suffocating. As soon as the metal door had been shut he'd punctured a hole and gasped for air desperately. Still, it was better than actually being dead...
Through the steel door by his feet he could hear numerous voices chattering for a good while but as the night drew on their presence dwindled down to nothing. That was when he decided to make his move. As soon as a solid period of silence had been sustained he made his move. Kaji shimmied down in the vault and began kicking at the vault door. It took considerable effort to get it open, his heel was sore by the time it finally gave way but as soon as it did he threw himself out of the vault and into the room, tape and the files Ikari had given him clutched tightly in his hand.
He counted himself lucky that the lights were off and there was no one there. If someone were to spot a dead man walking around it would not have been good. It would have destroyed his newfound cover before even being able to indulge in it. Seeing as he was alone though, he set about formulating a plan for how to extricate himself from the situation he was currently in... but what could he do? What options did he have? Certainly he couldn't just make a mad dash out of the morgue, someone would definitely know he was missing, or at least his corpse was missing... but what if he wasn't the one missing? He couldn't help but smirk as the idea came to him. Yes... it was rather brilliant.
He set the files down on one of the metal slab tables in the room and set about opening the vaults, going through them until he found a deceased occupant of roughly his own height and build. Once he'd located a cadaver that fit those requirements he was in business. He stripped himself and the corpse naked, going on to swap clothing and personal effects with it. Thankfully the only identifying piece of kit he had on his person at this moment was his NERV access card which didn't have a photograph. If Commander Ikari was to be trusted, he would probably handle he rest. Kaji stuffed the cadaver he'd changed clothes with back into the vault he himself had been stored in and set the room back to the way he found it before gathering his files and exiting the room.
Morgues are creepy places, and he couldn't help but feel a little sickened wearing a dead man's clothes. They didn't quite fit, and jeans and a baggy tee shirt weren't quite his style, but it would have to do. Now... just to find the exit to the building. He had no idea what floor he was on or any concept of the layout to this place. This place was certain to have a night crew of some kind too and it was best to avoid them... Who knew that being dead was so difficult...
He crept down the hall after leaving the room he'd been stored in, his ears tuned to any sound that might be out of place. It seemed that he was on the ground level of this building, now to plan an escape without leaving evidence...
Kaji slipped through the silent hallways until he finally found the front entrance of the building but unfortunately for him there was a doorman standing guard. He had to find another way out of this place, and knowing there was at least one other person in the building, he had to be sure to do it quietly. He crept back in the direction he came, silently passing the cadaver storage room he'd originally emerged from. The window at the end of the hall was a solid pane and so he set about trying to find a room where the windows actually opened. As he did he couldn't help but smirk, the prospect of climbing through a window to escape bringing back some old memories. This sneaking around was just like when his brother and friends would raid food depots in the ruins after second impact...
Soon enough Kaji found a bathroom that was unlocked and slipped inside. On the far wall at the end of the line of sinks was a small window that pushed outward. Perfect... this was his way out! His smile grew. This truly was like his time in the ruins...
As quietly as he could he pried it open and shimmied his way through it. It was a tight squeeze, when he was younger fitting through a space like this would have been a piece of cake. Now that he was thirty years old, not so much. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth, desperate to keep from groaning as he forced his way through the window but eventually he pushed through... and fell face first into an open dumpster on the other side.
The smell was atrocious but he was finally free, covered in trash and questionable juices, but free. He climbed out of the dumpster and dusted himself off as best he could, making a mental note to find a place to shower as soon as he'd contacted Fujita. With those two goals in mind he slipped away from the building, sticking to the shadows to remain unseen.
Once he'd gotten far enough away from the morgue, he pulled out the pilfered wallet of the dead man he'd exchanged places with, examining the contents thereof. The man who he'd taken the place of didn't look that much like him but he felt that he should at least know the man's name. After all, it isn't any day that one assumes a dead man's identity and disappears in the middle of the night... "Daisuke Kushieda..." Kaji murmured aloud as he crept down the street. "I hope I don't inconvenience your family too much..."
Luckily there was also a decent amount of cash in the man's wallet, about twenty one thousand yen. It was meager to escape Tokyo 3 with but it would do him well enough until he could rendezvous with Fujita. Kaji continued his trek along the edge of the city until he reached a pay phone. Without hesitation he paid the fee needed to use it and dialed Fujita's number...
The phone rang... and rang... and rang. Kaji was beginning to get nervous, knowing that if he was spotted anywhere near Tokyo 3, even with a better disguise than the one he was using presently, that it wouldn't bode well. He had to keep moving but he needed that smug bastard to pick up the damn phone...
"Hello?" Fujita eventually answered.
It sounded like he'd been sleeping. It was understandable since it was night time but still a little frustrating considering the urgency of the call.
"It's me," Kaji stated, looking left and right down the street, checking to see that he no one was around. "Where are you?"
Tense seconds passed before the other spy responded. "Kaji?" he replied, sounding quite surprised.
Kaji didn't have time to mince words. "Yes, it's me," he snapped. "I need to get out of Tokyo 3 immediately. Where are you?"
"I'm in a hotel room half way to Hokkaido and I was trying to get to sleep," Fujita replied. "How in the hell aren't you dead after the shit you pulled?"
"According to the official records, I am," Kaji returned. "It's a lot to explain, especially right now. I need to meet with you and get out of the city."
There was a pause before Fujita replied. "Well, right now I'm hunkering down in Sendai and I'm sure as hell not going back to Tokyo 3," he huffed. "Is there any way you can get here by tomorrow night?"
Kaji sighed, looking through the pilfered wallet on his person and the minimal amount of cash inside. He couldn't take the train without risking being spotted and taking a taxi or renting a car was also off the table for that matter. He supposed he could buy a bicycle and ride up there over the next few days. "I would love to but I'm a bit short on cash," he replied. "And I can't risk public transport either."
"I suppose that could pose a problem..." Fujita replied quietly. "To save time, I can meet you half way. Can you make Yaita by tonight or the night after tomorrow?"
Kaji gave it a bit of thought. Yaita was still quite a ways but it was doable. He just needed to acquire the bicycle with his limited funds and a tape player so he could listen to Ikari's cassette. "Yeah, I can make that work," he stated.
"Good," Fujita replied. "See you then. By the way, how do you intend to get there?"
"I'll figure it out," Kaji replied. "What location do you want to rendezvous at?"
"Hotel Route Inn," Fujita returned. "Should be simple enough to find. It's just off National Route 4."
"Sounds good," Kaji replied. "See you the night after tomorrow."
"See you then. Good luck, Kaji-san," Fujita returned. With those words the DIH agent hung up the phone.
Kaji hung up the receiver, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and continued on down the street. A day and half to get to Yaita, by the evening if he really pushed it... with what little cash he had left it was going to be a challenge. He had to get his hands on a tape recorder and a bicycle with what little cash he had on him. If worse came to worse he could probably steal one or the other but that had it's own set of drawbacks. Still... one way or another he had to get to Yaita and the safety that only a fellow government Agent could provide...
Ryuji Nakajima enjoyed the army life for the most part though he had his gripes like anyone would. Most of those gripes were minor, but if there was anything he truly hated about soldiering, that thing would without a doubt be the occasional first light assembly. Today had been one such occurrence. His company had assembled and the captain had congratulated them on completing their exercise with the special forces and explained that they were being transferred back to their old base in Kanagawa prefecture. After the expected hemming and hawing, they'd been released and allowed to partake in the chow hall which for once was serving a tolerable breakfast. So... there he sat with a cup of coffee in hand, contemplating the implications of going back to Kanagawa. It gave credence to his theory that something big was going on regarding the Japanese government and NERV and the fact that the special forces were coming with them basically confirmed it...
"Hey, Nakajima, you've barely touched your biscuits..." Masaki spoke softly from where he sat next to him. "Are you alright?"
Nakajima grimaced and glared at him. "No," he huffed. He was done trying to hide his nervousness or angst around his friend and comrade. "I'm not, man... I'm not..."
Masaki sighed. "Hey, at least we get a little furlough once we get back to our old base," he replied. "Isn't that something to be happy about?"
Nakajima shrugged. "I suppose so, not like I'm going to do anything with it," he returned darkly. "I'll probably just hit up some bars and try not to think about all the shit that's been happening or is probably going to happen..."
Masaki rolled his eyes. "Are you seriously still on that conspiracy shit?" he asked. "Come on, man, so what if we spent a solid week shooting at cables and fixed emplacements, there's no way we're going to attack our own citizens."
Nakajima scoffed. "Yeah, just like how the SDF didn't shoot a bunch of civilians in the years after Second Impact..." he grumbled.
"Dude, looting was a problem back then," Masaki returned timidly with a grin. "Guys like us had to keep the peace somehow..."
Nakajima scowled and sipped his coffee. "And a lot of good folks just trying to survive got buried for it," he grumbled. "Seriously, I know we're both soldiers but you gotta admit the army has done some messed up shit over the years... like in World War Two..."
Masaki's grin finally faltered. "Yeah... I suppose you're right about that," he muttered. "Shit... it's just so hard to think that we might be the bad guys, y'know?"
Nakajima sighed once more. "Yeah..." he huffed. "Usually it's people like us that are; idealistic bastards who just want to do some good and pick up guns in order to try..."
There was a hushed silence between the two of them before Masaki spoke again. "Well... this is getting heavy," he replied, a clearly forced grin taking shape on his lips. "Seriously, you're not looking forward to getting out on the town? Come on, before we left for this place I got this cute girl's number. I've been talking to her ever since and she's got a friend..."
Nakajima couldn't help but laugh. Getting laid did sound like a nice distraction from kaiju monsters and government conspiracies... but knowing his luck he'd probably blow the opportunity before he could make that happen. "Yeah... that does sound nice..." he mused, slugging down the rest of his coffee.
Gendo sat in his office as the artificial sunrise cast it's glow into his office. He'd not gotten much sleep, having spent most of the night pulling certain strings to allow for Agent Kaji's supposed death to look legitimate. Despite the amount of work it had created for him he couldn't help but relish in his own cleverness. SEELE's days were numbered all thanks to his stroke of genius...
"You do know that your actions yesterday were a risk of colossal proportions..." Fuyutsuki stated from where he stood beside his desk.
"A necessary one," Gendo replied. "Agent Kaji's understanding of the truth shall undermine Keel and his foolish dreams."
"And what guarantee do you have that Kaji will wait to put the information forward until the Angels have all been defeated?" Fuyutsuki questioned.
Gendo smirked behind his gloves. "When he listened to the tape I recorded for him he will understand," he replied evenly.
"I should hope so," Fuyutuski stated. "If he doesn't then our goose is cooked."
"As it would be anyway if I didn't take this drastic step," Gendo returned, shooting the older man a poignant glare. "It was the best possible action to take considering our current situation."
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Be that as it may, it is still a risk..." he murmured softly. "One of these days your scheming is going to get you killed, Ikari..."
He couldn't help but chuckle at that. His scheming had done nothing but improve his position in the grand game of life, why would that ever change? At least now he was using his considerable talents in that department to do something Yui would have genuinely been proud of... "But not yet, Fuyutsuki," he returned softly. "Not yet..."
There was a pause before the older man spoke again. "Is there anything you need me to handle regarding this situation?" he inquired.
"Yes," Gendo replied evenly. "I could imagine that the morgue that our messenger was shipped off to will be quite puzzled by one of their cadavers disappearing. I would appreciate you finding a way to keep this from becoming a problem."
Fuyutsuki chuckled. "As usual, I end up working out the finer details and handling the consequences of the things you set into motion," he muttered.
"Soon there will no longer be need for that," Gendo returned. "Bear the duties of your position for just a little while longer."
Fuyutsuki raised his eyebrows and chortled once more. "So my position consists of taking care of your messes?" he spoke it a bit of teasing tone.
Gendo allowed himself to smirk at his comment. He was plenty able to throw verbal barbs when needed and this was such a time when it was... "Indeed," he replied flatly. "I believe that is in fact the primary function of the Vice Commander of NERV..."
Fuyutsuki snickered once again before changing the subject. "So, now we play the waiting game until our Trojan Horse is safely within the enemy's walls," he continued. "Leaving us to continue as usual."
"Indeed," Gendo replied. "All that remains is to stay the course..."
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Well if that is the case then I shall take my leave of you," he returned. "As you said, I have a situation regarding a dead man to manage." With that, the older man swiftly turned on his heel and headed for the door.
Once Fuyutsuki had closed the office door behind himself Gendo slumped back in his chair as the silence began to set in. Stay the course... that was easier said than done, especially considering the slim chance that the Japanese Government might not believe Kaji's future report or worse said report went unread into the endless stacks of paperwork bureaucracy is known for. Then again, the old men might decide to act immediately once the final messenger was dealt with. He had to give himself a fighting chance to survive the game long enough for Kaji to do what needed to be done and to do that he needed his Evas operational and NERVs automated defenses operating a peak capacity.
He supposed he could funnel some of the budget from general facility upkeep to the fine tuning automated defenses in the city and regular firearms training for general personnel. This would probably raise more suspicion from the old men but if he was going to war with them anyway so that didn't matter. Most importantly, he had to get all three of his Eva pilots back in business, both to combat the Angels and to combat SEELE...
From that thought, his mind drifted to the faux blonde doctor who oversaw such things. Ever since she'd found him in a less than composed state of being things had been... awkward between the two of them. It was somehow friendlier but tenser at the same time, he didn't know how to explain it or rationalize it. He supposed it wasn't important... but he was glad that she hadn't held his embarrassing moment against him. They still maintained a professional relationship, nothing more, and that was how it would remain.
He opened his drawer to access the phone he kept there and dialed her office...
Ritsuko jolted at the sound of her desk telephone ringing, snapping to answer it and snubbing the cigarette she'd been smoking in her ashtray. She'd been hyper-focusing on the things on her screen, trying to finish up some of the updates for Unit 02's combat suite, essential stuff since it was finally finished with repairs when the call came. She took a deep breath before answering the line. It could only be one of a select few people considering how early in the morning it was, either Rei, Misato, or Gendo... "Hello, Akagi speaking," she answered, trying not sound like she'd just been startled.
"Good morning, Dr. Akagi," Gendo's voice sounded in her ear. "Are you well?"
Her heart skipped a beat. Since when did he actually ask how she was? This was a new development, one that would have gotten her contemplating certain things if not for her cynical nature and distrust of the man... "Well enough," she replied. "And you?"
"Well enough," he responded, mirroring her words. "Can you do something for me?"
Ritsuko frowned. Of course he would need something from her like he always did, it couldn't just be a call to see how she was or anything like that... "Sure," she replied. "What do you need?"
"The pilots have gone some time without proper sync testing," he returned. "Would it be possible to schedule a resumption of that regimen for this afternoon?"
Ritsuko's brow arched at the request. "I suppose that I could even though I've got one slated for tomorrow evening," she replied. "Is there a reason for this request?"
Combat readiness is important," he stated. "Have the pilots report to NERV this afternoon and again tomorrow. Certainly with a month outside of the cockpit, and judging by their harmonics scores, the pilots are out of practice. Sync testing will take place daily until their levels are what we need them to be for deployment."
His reasoning made sense but it would also put quite a high level of stress on the pilots. "Are you sure that daily tests are necessary?" she inquired. "I can imagine that would be draining for them..."
There was a pause before Gendo replied. "This is a point," he stated, audibly breathing deeply before continuing. "Very well, daily tests will take place for the next five days and will cease after that pending assessment. Morale of the pilots is indeed important..."
Ritsuko found that final statement rather striking. Hearing Gendo Ikari of all people agreeing that pilot morale was important was surprising to say the least. It was even more evidence pointing to the idea that he'd well and truly changed his aims... "I'm surprised to hear you say that," she replied before she could stop herself.
The silence that followed her negligent comment was beyond tense. Her heart accelerated and she held her breath, becoming more and more worried about what would be said in response. Gendo was not the kind of man to take such words lightly... "Perhaps I have my reasons that necessitate it..." he returned quietly after a moment.
He didn't sound angry, in fact, he sounded almost contemplative. Ritsuko wasn't sure what to make of it... "I apologize for my comment, sir," she replied. "It was rude of me..."
"No, it is understandable," he stated quietly. "I have pushed them rather hard in the past..."
Again there was another tense pause between them. If he wasn't going to snap at her or shoot her down then she could perhaps risk trying to reach him, to try and understand where he stood presently, both as the commander of NERV and in regards to their own strange relationship, professional or otherwise. "Then pardon me for saying this, but you've been... different lately," she returned.
She could have sworn he actually snickered at her comment but it was probably just in her head. "I suppose I have been..." he replied. "Though I believe it is for the best."
Ritsuko still couldn't know for sure that he was being honest or that he'd changes his plans as Rei had said but it seemed quite possible, indeed probable, that he had. "I see..." she returned, hoping that her next question wouldn't overstep her bounds. "And you haven't experienced any further... incidents... like when I found you in your quarters?"
"No, I haven't," he replied, his voice taking on a bit of a cold, bladed edge. "As I've said before, that was a momentary loss of control, nothing serious. You need not concern yourself with it."
Well... it appeared that this would be the limit of where she could press him on personal matters. "Understood," she returned quietly.
There was a short pause. She could hear him breathing a sigh on the other end of the phone. "Very well..." he replied. "See to it that the new schedule regarding sync testing is held to."
"I shall. Take care of yourself..." she responded, those last words slipping out before she could stop them.
There was another short pause. "You as well..." he replied before the line went dead.
Ritsuko slumped back in her chair and sighed. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself, letting her emotions get the better of her, but it was honestly a a little exciting to talk with him like that. Even though it was tense and even though she knew what he wanted to, or formerly wanted to do to the world, she felt... closer to him than before. They'd never talked like that in the past, actually showing each other concern beyond a professional level... it was pleasant.
She lit a cigarette and took a deep inhale before letting it out. This was no time to let emotional and relationship stress distract her. She couldn't afford to ruminate on such things as there was still a world to save and sync tests to reschedule. It was time to make some phone calls...
Shinji sat at the kitchen table sipping his morning cup of coffee, the events of last night still weighing heavy on his mind. He'd sat with Misato for quite some time after he'd walked in on her by the phone, eventually walking to her bed before heading to his own. He felt bad that he hadn't been able to do much for his guardian other than sit beside her and let her lean on him but it was all he could do. He wasn't good at comforting others... Sleep had been difficult to attain after that. He'd laid there in his room, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about death and loss, how it seemed to follow close to him and everyone he cared for...
Misato had left for NERV before he'd awakened as per usual, something he found surprising considering what had apparently happened to Kaji. He would have thought she'd at least take a day off after something like that but then again Misato was the kind of person who buried herself in her work to distract from things that bothered her. It was no different from how he used his cassette player to block out the world. For that matter... maybe everyone had something they poured themselves into to distract from their pains. Perhaps even his father was the same way considering how hard he worked in his position at NERV.
When he'd gone into the kitchen to make his morning coffee he'd found half a pot already made. This surprised him. Usually he'd find an empty been can either on the table or the counter by the sink. He supposed it was a healthy change she was making but certainly showed him how much Kaji's death had effected her.
It was then that the phone one the kitchen table rang. He reached out and answered it, setting his coffee down in order to do so. "Hello, Katsuragi residence," he answered.
He recognized the voice on the other end of the line. "Hi, Shinji-kun," Ritsuko spoke. "Is Misato there?"
Shinji frowned. If she hadn't gone to NERV then what was going on with her? It worried him. "No, she's not," he replied. "I thought she'd gone to work."
"Oh," Ritsuko returned nonchalantly. "I suppose I'll see here here soon then. However, since what I'm calling about concerns you, I might as well let you know first."
Shinji's eyebrows knit up in worry. "And what's that?" he asked.
"Well, considering how long it's been since the Evas have been operational, Commander Ikari has scheduled synchronization tests for the next five days starting this evening," the faux blonde replied. "I know it's on short notice but I hope it doesn't cause any inconvenience."
His frown intensified. It was true that they needed to get back in practice with their Evas but five days of afternoon sync testing did not sound pleasant. At least it would probably cheer Asuka up... hopefully. Between her, Rei, and himself, she was the only one who actually enjoyed being a pilot... "I see..." he murmured in response. "No, it's not a big deal. I have nothing planned anyway. Does Rei know yet?"
"I called her a few minutes ago," Ritsuko replied. "She knows. See you after school today."
"Right... see you then..." Shinji returned before hanging up the phone with a sigh. It was definitely not something he was looking forward to. It was a reminder that he was probably going to see combat again. Still, when the time came he would bear it. That was what a good soldier did. That was what an honest man did... sticking by his commitments, defending his family and friends...
"Who was that?" Asuka's voice broke the momentary silence in the kitchen.
Her question made him flinch since he hadn't noticed her enter the kitchen. He turned his gaze and regarded her, standing there in the archway to the living room, her arms folded and a frown on her face. "Ritsuko-san called," he replied flatly, looking down into the black liquid in his mug. "We have sync tests all week..."
Asuka stretched her arms above her head. "Finally!" she grumbled, looking up at the ceiling. "Some good news..."
"Yeah, I suppose so..." he muttered. As expected, Asuka would think it was a good thing...
There was an awkward silence that hung in the room. Asuka stepped into the kitchen and grabbed herself a cup of coffee, mixing in some milk and sugar before sitting down across from him. As she did, that derisive look on her face fell away and she actually looked at him with a look of concern, the first she'd spared him in longer than he could remember. "Are you... nervous about getting back in the cockpit?" she asked. "Y'know... after what happened?"
He sighed, scowling down into his cup, remembering the literal out of body experience he'd had for nearly a month inside the plug. Even though it had given him a new perspective on things, a good one at that, it was still... hard to come to terms with. Compounding this, there was the worry that he might just be absorbed again, as slim as the odds of that were... "To be honest, I am..." he replied. "You know how I feel about piloting..."
Asuka sipped her cup and set it down, leaning on the table with her elbow with a frown. "Yeah... if I'm being honest, I'm a little worried too..." she muttered. "My last harmonics tests didn't go too well..."
Shinji's brow furrowed. This was strange, since when did Asuka have difficulties with anything regarding the Eva? "Really?" he asked.
She scowled. "Yeah..." she huffed. "Is that so surprising?"
He took another sip of his coffee and looked away from her. "To be honest, yeah..." he muttered. "I mean... when have you ever been nervous about anything regarding piloting?"
Asuka stood up from the table and snatched her cup off the table. "Of course you wouldn't understand..." she grumbled. "After all, you've never lost a battle..."
Shinji glared at her. Something about how she'd said that just rubbed him the wrong way. So what if he'd been more successful in combat than her, that didn't bring him any kind of satisfaction. Besides, she had no idea what it was like to have to choose to... kill or injure someone she cared about. "So what?" he hissed. "What does that matter? What does that have to do with anything?"
Asuka wrinkled her nose and looked at him with disgust. "If you can't understand then we shouldn't even be talking," she snarled.
He glared back at her. "Eva shouldn't be your life, Asuka..." he replied, standing his ground, even though every one of his instincts told him it was best to just give in.
Asuka balled her fists and looked away from him. "You sound just like Kaworu..." she muttered before stomping her foot. "Jesus... why am I even talking about this kind of shit with you? Can't you just listen to me instead of talking back like Kaji would back in Germany?"
Shinji bit the inside of his lip, the memory of Misato's tears the previous night playing over in his mind's eye. He wanted to tell her what he'd heard but... but he just couldn't. "S- sorry..." he murmured, looking down into his cup of coffee. "I won't bring it up again..."
Asuka seemed to deflate after that statement. "Sorry I snapped at you..." she muttered, folding her arms. "It's just... whatever..."
Moments later, the doorbell rang...
Rei stepped back from the door to Misato's apartment and waited for someone to answer just like she did most mornings, the conversation of the phone call she'd received from Ritsuko as she'd walked to the apartment ringing in her ear. Synchronization testing was going to begin again today after school and she could only hope that things would go well...
The thought of the tests brought her serious anxiety. It was around this juncture in the previous world where Asuka's sync scores had seriously begun to slip and that concerned her greatly. Considering how things had gone thus far in this world she could assume that this trend would continue, and if the next Angel was the one she suspected it would be then the situation was all the more dire. However, as unfortunate as it was, all she could do was sit tight and await whatever happened Ritsuko seemed to still have some hope but she was a bit more nervous about what lay ahead. After all, she didn't want to live through such horrible things again, especially when she cared so much now for both Shinji and Asuka...
It wasn't long before the door opened. Shinji stood there in the door with that half smile he wore when he was dealing with a lot. "Hey Rei," he greeted. "How are you?"
"I am well enough," she replied, forcing a smile, hoping it would cheer him up. By the dark circles under his eyes she could tell that he hadn't gotten much sleep. "You look tired."
Shinji frowned and looked down at his feet. "I didn't get much sleep..." he replied. "Something bad happened last night that kept me awake..."
Rei's breath hitched. Something bad? What? She didn't like seeing him stressed in any way... "What happened?" she asked timidly. "Are you alright?"
Shinji stiffened and seemed to shrink where he stood. "I... I found Misato crying last night..." he murmured. "I think Kaji-san is dead..."
Rei's eyes widened at those words. That was right... shortly after Shinji had been released from Eva Unit 01's core in the other world Ryouji Kaji had been killed for kidnapping the vice commander... and it appeared that had just occurred again. It was even more evidence that time was running out... "I see..." she murmured softly as a frown took shape on her face, thinking about how close the Asuka of this world had been to the spy. "Does Asuka know?"
Shinji shook his head. "No," he replied quietly. "I... I didn't have heart to tell her..."
Rei's frown deepened. She supposed that was somewhat of a blessing, knowledge of such a thing would just make her even more unstable than she already was. On a deeper level though, it also closed off a possible option for herself. Kaji might have made a good ally if she could have properly gotten him in the know of what herself and Ritsuko knew... but she supposed it was best not to think about such things. All she could do was continue moving forward to whatever end that brought... "Are you going to?" she asked.
Shinji shook his head once more. "Probably not..." he returned softly. "If anyone should tell her it should be Misato. She'd probably just snap at me or refuse to believe me if I told her..."
Rei nodded. "I suppose that's a likely outcome..." she murmured in response.
Shinji sighed. "Well... enough about the things going on here," he replied, forcing a smile. "How are you this morning?"
Rei couldn't help but mirror his expression. That kindness of his, always thinking about others never ceased to warm her heart. He always looked out for her even if she didn't deserve it... "I'm alright, you asked already..." she returned warmly.
He looked away and scratched at the back of his head nervously. "Oh, yeah..." he replied a little bit flustered. "Ah- the tests this afternoon... any thoughts or concerns or whatever?"
"I am... concerned about how they will go," Rei replied honestly, her smile falling away.
It was then that Asuka appeared in the doorway with her book bag, interjecting in a crass manner she often did. "Jesus, it's just a damn sync test!" she huffed, stepping past Shinji. "What's there to worry about?"
Shinji's brow furrowed. "Weren't you just-"
Asuka cut him off. "I don't know what you're talking about," she replied flippantly. "Come on, let's go. I for one am happy that things are finally getting back to normal."
Rei watched as Shinji's expression shifted between confusion and frustration before finally settling on defeated acceptance. "Whatever you say..." he sighed, stepping through the doorway and shutting the mechanical door behind him.
Rei couldn't help but get the impression that she'd missed something, perchance something important. Even so, she knew it would be rude to question Shinji about it in front of Asuka since it was obvious that whatever that thing was it concerned the redhead. All she could do was fall in and join the two of them as she always did on the way to school...
Misato stood on the bridge, watching the technicians type away in preparation for the sync tests that were soon to take place, a cup of coffee in her hand. It was strange beginning her day with coffee instead of beer but if she'd done that as per usual she wouldn't have been able to make it to her shift. The pain of losing Ryouji would have been too much. Besides, Ryouji always enjoyed his coffee... in a way it was like she was keeping him alive...
The previous night after listing to that voicemail from him was probably the lowest she'd ever felt. It was nice that Shinji had sat with her, rubbing her shoulder and letting her cry into his shoulder until she'd mustered the will to go to bed. After doing so, she'd curled into the fetal position and wept until sleep had finally taken her.
Morning had been a blur. She'd sleepwalked through the morning, driven her car to NERV in a haze, the words of Ryouji's final message playing on repeat in her mind. She couldn't focus on the paperwork on her desk or any of the other menial tasks that required her attention. After half an hour of being unable to focus she'd wandered to the bridge and stayed there in an attempt to distract herself from the pain by watching and mentally critiquing the bridge crew.
"Hey, are you alright?" a familiar voice called out to her.
She turned around to find Ritsuko walking on to the bridge with a cup of coffee in hand. Misato frowned and looked away. "No..." she admitted. Even though their friendship had been strained recently she was probably the only person she could really talk to. "I'm not alright..."
Ritsuko's lips curved downward. "Did something happen?" she asked.
Misato closed her eyes and looked away. "I... had a bad day last night," she replied quietly.
Ritsuko stepped over to her. "You look tired," she stated. "Did you get much sleep?"
Ryouji words telling her to apologize to Ritsuko rang in her ears... "Kaji is dead..." she murmured softly, turning to face her estranged friend.
Ritsuko visibly flinched. "Oh..." she replied, shock evident in her voice. "How?" she asked.
Misato's brow furrowed. How did she not know what happened yesterday? How could she have been exempted from suspicion in Vice Commander Fuyutsuki's kidnapping? "He apparently kidnapped Vice Commander Fuyutsuki yesterday," she replied. "Section Two killed him for it..."
Ritsuko frowned. "I didn't know about that..." she replied softly. "I'm sorry, Misato..."
Misato scowled at looked away, her eyes beginning to sting. She grit her teeth. The fact that the faux blonde knew nothing about what had apparently happened pissed her off. It was evidence of the fact that NERV constantly concealed the reality of everything from anyone it didn't matter to. Considering even NERV's scientific head didn't know about what had happened yesterday just showed how encompassing the web of secrecy stretched. "I'll... I'll be okay..." she choked out as the tears welled up in her eyes. "I'll be fine..."
Ritsuko stepped closer and put her hand on her shoulder. "If you need to go home I'll understand," she replied. "I'll let Commander Ikari know."
Misato scowled and swatted her friend's hand away. "I'll be fine..." she repeated darkly, forcing herself to stay composed. "We need to focus on the job at hand..."
There was a tense silence that fell between them. "I guess you're right..." Ritsuko eventually stated, moving to her usual station. "We do have the tests in the afternoon."
"Yeah..." Misato replied quietly. "We do..."
It was nice that Ritsuko showed some concern but the fact that she hadn't even been informed of such a situation told Misato a lot. It made her wonder just how deep the web of secrecy really went. It was settled, as soon as she got home she'd begin reading through Kaji's files. One way or another she would unravel what was being kept secret if only for her own sake...
Kaji stalked through the aisles of the big box store he'd managed to wander into after having managed to walk to the next town over from Tokyo 3. He was tired already. His feet hurt and his stomach grumbled from hunger since he hadn't eaten since the previous day's morning. Who knew that being legally dead was so exhausting? Despite this, he kept his head on a swivel. It was quite possible that he might run into some member of NERV personnel even here... he had to be quick with what he was going to do.
After assessing the prices of the bicycles it was quite obvious that what little money he had on his person wouldn't cover both a bike and a tape player. This posed quite an issue as it was imperative that he listened to the tape Ikari had gifted him before his rendezvous with Fujita. At the very least he had some experience committing theft in the years following Second Impact so pilfering a tape player and a set of headphones would be simple...
He casually strolled over to the electronics department and began to casually peruse through the aisles until he reached the section with audio cassette related merchandise. It didn't take long until he found a machine and a set of earbuds that would function well enough for his purposes. He checked to make sure no one was watching and slipped both items into the inside pocket of the jacket he'd pilfered from dead man at the morgue. Once that was complete it was on to sporting goods to pick out and legitimately purchase a bicycle.
If he hadn't been so strapped for cash he wouldn't have been so appalled by the prices. If there had ever been a time when inflation had caused him issues, this was it. The bike would completely drain him, leaving him with about two thousand yen left over until reaching Yaita. He could only console himself with the size of meal he'd consume once he'd rendezvoused with Fujita... Then, as he walked the bike to the front register, another thought dawned on him...
"Shit..." he muttered to himself. "How does a dead man register a bike?"
They didn't, that was the simplest explanation. Sure, he had the dead man's ID on his person but they did not show any resemblance at all. Now that he thought about it, it would be best to just dispose of such items, keeping them would only make him more suspicious if accosted on his journey. Kaji paused his march to the register and thought for a moment. He supposed the only option he had would be to give a bogus name and information and hope that the cashier would buy it. If that didn't work then he'd have to simply bolt out of the store. Either way, he'd be vulnerable on his ride. One way or another, once again he'd fall back on the tried and true government policy for how to gain license for things; don't get caught.
He waited his turn in line and the teenage cashier greeted him with a smile. "That's a nice bike you've picked out," he stated cheerily.
No it's not, it's the cheapest, crappiest one you've got in the store... Kaji thought to himself but forced a pleasant smile nonetheless. "It might not have many bells and whistles but it is nice, yes," he replied in a friendly manner as he handed over the money to purchase it.
The cashier took the money and handed him back his change. "So, now on to registration," he stated. "What is your name, address, and phone number?"
Kaji stiffened. There was no way he could get out of this one, no way he could deceive his way though the process. Ironic that in such times government bureaucracy worked against him instead of for him. Then again, the living have it easy... "Daisuke Kushieda," he replied evenly before proceeding to slink toward the door as soon as the cashier looked down at his keyboard
The cashier typed for a moment. "Okay, can I see your ID?" he asked
Kaji couldn't help but smirk a little bit at just how naive and dense the cashier was. Could this kid really not see he was trying to exit without registering the bike? He threw the kick stand of the bike down and walked back to the counter, pulling the dead man's ID out and slapping it on the counter. "My apologies," he replied. "It's been a while since I've done this."
He moved back toward the bike and resumed moving toward the door, getting two more steps before the cashier called out to him again. "Sir, is this really your ID?" he asked incredulously, beginning to look a little nervous. "The photo looks nothing like you..."
There it was... time to make a speedy exit. Kaji grinned. "Uh... no," he replied. With that, he bolted for the door.
As soon as the automatic doors opened he threw himself over the bike and began pedaling like a madman. Oh well, at least he'd paid for it... unlike the headphones and the tape player in his pocket. He continued pedaling, blowing through intersections until he'd gotten far enough away that he was confident enough to slow down.
Eventually he made it out of the town and into a wooded path. With no one in sight he dismounted the bike and set about ripping open the packaging of the cassette player and headphones. He knew that riding a bike wearing headphones was a misdemeanor but he didn't care. He had to listen to that damn tape. Ikari trusted him with it and he had to have a good comprehension of everything in the files he'd received before he met with Fujita.
He straddled the bike, slid the tape into the player, put the headphones over his ears, and pressed play...
It was the start of lunch and Kaworu had a lot on his mind. He'd never quite felt so conflicted in either of his lives. The previous day's events after school had been... interesting to say the least. For what it was worth, he'd quite enjoyed the afternoon at the arcade with Soryu. In fact, the event had opened up a whole new world for him. Sure, the flashing lights and fast pace had provided entertainment but what had really struck him was being able to witness the other humans there at play. Seeing the lilin just... in the act of being, living, laughing, enjoying their lives in spite of the circumstances in which they lived was striking. No... it was touching, beautiful even. It was touching to see how people could connect and cherish their time with one another in spite of the disasters they'd lived through and would live through...
After he'd parted ways with Soryu he'd gone back to his apartment and laid there in his bed staring up at the ceiling trying his best to process how he was feeling. He'd felt lingering joy but also a deep sense of loneliness. Seeing how humans acted, could lose themselves, connect with others made him feel lonely. Even though he'd struck up a genuine friendship with Soryu he could never enjoy that connection in the way that other people could. Even though he wanted to it was impossible because of two things...
Because he wasn't human... and because of the will of SEELE.
This was something that was causing him more and more mental distress as he grew to enjoy living more and more, as he grew to enjoy his bond with Soryu more and more... Thinking about such things left him feeling empty, longing. He wanted to break free of his fate but he had no idea how to do so. As close as he'd become with Soryu, seeing her smile at the arcade, actually laughing and having fun... it made him want to see more of that from her. It made him forget about his lingering feelings for Shinji and he didn't know why. He liked that feeling and hated it at the same time. It was something he couldn't explain. All of those thoughts and emotions continually swirled in his mind until sleep finally took him.
Presently, lunch had begun at school. Soryu had already left the classroom, presumably to meet him on the roof as had become their routine but he'd stayed behind in the classroom. He'd wanted to perhaps talk with Ayanami about how he was feeling but she wasted no time in exiting the room as well, taking Shinji with her. He couldn't help but scowl as he got up and began trudging to the roof. Sitting alone would garner him no perspective...
He trudged through the halls with his head down, staring at his feel. He was trying to push the turmoil he was feeling out of his mind, to put on a pleasant face for Soryu when he saw her, but his trip to the roof was unexpectedly interrupted. Someone stepped in front of him and he slammed into them before he had a chance to look up. The impact nearly knocked him to the ground and caused the person he'd bumped to also lose their footing. Upon getting his bearings he realized that the individual he'd run into was none other than Shinji.
"I'm sorry," Kaworu stated sincerely. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
Shinji shook his head. "No, it's my fault," he replied. "I should have been looking up."
He nodded in response and forced a smile. "I suppose we are both at fault then," he returned.
An awkward silence befell the two of them. "Well... I suppose I'll get going then," Shinji eventually stated, taking a step past him. "See you back in class..."
"Wait..." Kaworu responded reflexively, not even quite sure why he made such a request. Was he truly so desperate to talk to someone who might understand his loneliness?
Shinji stopped and turned around. "Yeah?" he asked with a perplexed expression.
Kaworu looked down, trying to think of what was best to say. He wanted to get closer to Shinji but the task seemed so out of reach. He wanted to connect with other people and be as human as he could but that seemed so far away. He wanted to gain perspective on how things were between himself and Soryu but he had no context to do so... "Do you ever feel... lonely?" he asked, unable to think of anything else. "Even when you know that feeling isn't rational?"
Shinji's expression shifted to one of surprise and mild suspicion. "That's a bit personal of a question, isn't it?" he returned with his own inquiry.
Kaworu frowned. He'd almost forgotten how defensive Shinji could be. He had to pull back and salvage this conversation... "I apologize if the question seems a bit forward," he replied, looking down at the tile floor. "I simply wish to gain... perspective on some things. I figured you might be able to help me."
Shinji tilted his head to the side. "Oh, okay," he replied, seeming to relax. "Like what? And is there a reason you're coming to me instead of Asuka?"
Kaworu's lip twitched upward at the thought. Having gotten to know Soryu a bit, she would probably just tell him be was being foolish and to shove it down. "Soryu is not the easiest to talk to about matters of a depressing nature," he returned. "Besides, she is going through a rough time herself."
Shinji gave a wan smile. "Yeah, that's true alright..." he stated before going on and levying an inquiry. "So what did you want to ask me?"
Kaworu thought for a moment on how to word his question without giving away too much or scaring Shinji off. "I apologize in advance if this sounds strange..." he replied. "But... do you ever feel alone, even though you have friends and loved ones?"
Shinji's eyes widened for a moment before he looked away with a frown. "That's a bit of a pointed question..." he murmured softly.
Kaworu frowned. "I'm sorry if I offended you..." he replied.
Shinji shook his head. "No, no, it's... fine," he returned. "It's just we don't talk that much."
Kaworu shifted on his feet. He was treading a dangerous path and he knew it, memories of the Shinji he knew in his previous life flashing in his mind as he continued speaking. "Would you prefer to keep it that way?" he asked. "That we don't talk much?"
Shinji stiffened. "No, I didn't mean it like that..." he replied timidly. "It's just... yeah. I do feel that way sometimes if you must know."
Kaworu shifted on his feet once again. So he also felt that kind of loneliness and alienation. "How do you cope with those feelings?" he asked.
Shinji crossed his arms. "If I'm being honest I just... try to be strong for the people around me, as hard as that is," he responded. "Or at least, that' what I'm trying to do now..."
Kaworu's mouth fell open and a strange feeling began twisting up in his stomach. It was a powerful statement but it wasn't relevant to his situation. How was he supposed to be strong for the people around him, the ones he cared about, when it was his very existence that put them under threat? How could he do that when it was his very existence that alienated him from them? "I see..." he murmured in response, frowning deeper than ever. "That is very noble of you, Ikari-kun..."
Shinji smiled and looked away, his arms still folded. "Well... I'm trying not to run from things that are uncomfortable anymore..." he replied softly. "It's still new to me... but thanks I guess."
Kaworu forced a smile. "You are very welcome," he returned softly.
"Shinji?" a voice called from down the hall. "What is keeping you?"
Kaworu turned around and took sight of Ayanami standing a few meters away, staring at him with a stern expression. "Oh, nothing," Shinji respond. "I was just talking with Nagisa-san."
"Do you still want to wish to eat together?" Ayanami asked, still staring at him with a stony look.
Shinji stepped towards her. "Of course," he replied to her before turning to look at him over his shoulder. "See you in class, Nagisa-san."
Kaworu forced himself to grin that playful, carefree grin he usually wore. "See you in class, Ikari-kun," he replied.
Ayanami continued to stare at him with that look until Shinji reached her at which point she turned and continued on her way, shoulder to shoulder with him. Kaworu's grin fell away as soon as their backs were turned. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and began walking towards the roof to meet Soryu with many new thoughts plaguing his mind...
Kaji paused to rest on the side of the road, panting heavily from the exhaustion of riding the bike at top speed. He'd initially hoped to reach Yaita by the next night but after listening to Commander Ikari's tape on repeat he knew he had to get there as soon as possible...
It was unfathomable the information that was dumped in that one recording, truly beyond the pale. To think that Second Impact was engineered by humanity so that an elite death cult could ascend to godhood was infuriating. To think that his parents, his brother, and his friends had died because of such unfettered greed disgusted him. It infuriated him! Never in his life had he felt such shock and horror and fury! It made him see his brother and friend's deaths in a new, sickening light...
Then of course had been the revelations with the Evas, the giant in the basement, and the Mass Production Evas that were nearing completion... and how it was obvious that the Japanese Government was being manipulated into preparing to attack NERV and in doing so initiate Third Impact for the men at SEELE should Gendo Ikari betray them, which he would. There was much more contained in the tape but that was the gist of it. Either way, it certainly made it clear that time was running out. Who knew when the last Angel would arrive? It could be one day or one hundred, fighting through bureaucracy wasn't an easy thing. Damn what Ikari asked him, he had to find a way to stop things now! So what if the Angels hadn't been defeated yet, the security risk of SEELE needed to be addressed immediately...
"Hey! You!" a voice called out.
Kaji looked over his shoulder and took sight of a bicycle cop riding up to him and cringed. Great... this was exactly what he needed at his moment in time; an officer to muck things up for him. "Who? Me?" he responded with a stupid grin.
The officer rode up beside him and dismounted his bicycle. "Yeah, you," he replied. "I saw you riding with headphones on. Do you realize that's illegal?"
Kaji smirked and put his hands up submissively. "You got me," he replied, pulling the earbuds out of his ears. "I'm sorry, I'll take them off."
The cop glared at him suspiciously. "Ignorance of the law is no excuse, you should know that," he replied. "What's your name?"
Kaji thought for a moment. He couldn't use Kusieda's, the dead man's name, for his own without raising suspicion. His mind drifted to a manga he'd read when he was a teenager about a pony-tailed vagrant who traveled across Japan via bicycle. He even had a ponytail like that guy. Hopefully the cop would buy it or if he didn't at least think it was funny... "Kintaro Oe," he replied with a smirk.
The cop pulled out a note pad and began jotting down notes. "Kintaro Oe huh..." he replied. "I'm sorry, Oe-san, but could your step off the bike?"
Kaji stiffened. This was not looking good... "What for?" he asked.
The cop's eyes narrowed. "Don't make this any more difficult for yourself," he snapped. "I don't see a registration sticker anywhere on your bike. I'm gonna have to write you a ticket. Get off the bike and show some ID."
Kaji smiled nervously and stepped off the bike. This was definitely not a good development... "My apologies, officer," he replied. "I just purchased this bike today from a friend. I was on my way to the station to register it in fact."
The officer scowled. "Fat chance," he returned darkly. "The nearest station is back the way you came. And if this bike is used, it should have it's old registration sticker. Now I can't help but think you stole it..."
Kaji cringed internally. He should have expected such a response to his bold faced lie. In all honesty he probably should have stolen it... he'd have more cash for food on his trip to Yaita if he had. "I can promise you that I did not in fact steal it," he replied, retaining his unassuming grin as best he could, raising his hands upward in surrender.
The cop visibly tensed and his eyes widened. "What is that in your jacket, Oe-san?" he asked, raising an accusing finger in the direction of the left side of his jacket.
Kaji's grin finally fell away. Shit... He probably should have zipped up the jacket he was wearing because it was clear that the officer had just seen the butt of his service weapon. Gun laws had been relaxed slightly since Second Impact but it was only legal for the citizenry to own long guns dedicated to hunting even now. This said, it was illegal for anyone outside of government agents to posses handguns. Normally he could just show his paperwork in this situation but since he was legally dead that was not an option... "I'm not sure what you're talking about," Kaji replied as calmly as he could. "Are you talking about my cassette player?"
The police officer began reaching for his own handgun. "I know a pistol when I see one, Oe-san," he snarled. "Turn around and put your hands behind your back."
Kaji took a step backwards and steeled himself for what was about to go down. He slowly turned around, his hands still over his head. "Hey, let's just take it easy," he returned.
"Shut up!" the officer commanded. "Put your hands behind your back!"
Kaji did as instructed and waited until he felt the officer grab his wrist. That was when he sprung into action. It had been a while since he'd had to put the close quarters combat techniques he'd learned when training to be a spy into use but he still knew them well. He spun around and landed a firm backhand fist to the officer's jaw. This was followed up with a strike to the officer's solar plexus and another strike to the face. "I apologize for this," Kaji huffed. "But I really do need to be on my way."
The officer stumbled and drew his service pistol, spitting blood from the blow he'd landed on his mouth. "Put your hands up!" he shouted.
Kaji lunged forward and batted the gun away. The officer fired harmlessly over his shoulder. The report nearly shattered his right eardrum but he remained composed. He grabbed the officer by his forehead and swept his leg with a kick at the same time, slamming him into the dirt. As soon as the officer was grounded, Kaji brought his foot up and stomped on his face in one swift motion before kicking the pistol away. The officer lay motionless after that.
He panted and stood tall, dusting himself off. "I'm sorry for that," he huffed. "I'm just trying to serve and protect, same as you..."
Kaji threw himself up on the bike and began pedaling like crazy, resuming his ride. The cop would probably wake up soon, and when he did, it wouldn't be long until every officer within three hundred kilometers knew that some pony-tailed hooligan with a gun was riding around on a bike with no registration. He had to close the distance to Yaita quickly... otherwise his legally dead status might well become physical.
Rei hit the button on her plug suit's wrist to activate the vacuum seal that made it fit her form. The tests were about to begin and she was doing her best to remain hopeful in the face of what she was certain the results would be. She'd been dreading this moment all day but the anxiety had really begun to mount after school ended. The air of confidence, or false confidence, that Asuka seemed to display on the walk to NERV served to amplify that dread she felt. This was what was at the forefront of her mind that perturbed her but it wasn't the only thing that had her fretting...
She folded her arms and looked down at the tile floor of the locker room. The sight of Shinji and Nagisa talking in the hallway made her deeply uncomfortable but she'd been unable to intervene. She'd asked Shinji about what their short conversation had entailed and he'd told her, stating that he still found Nagisa a bit odd but that he seemed like a good person. This was deeply disconcerting. There was no doubt in her mind that Nagisa was attempting to become closer with Shinji and that was not something she wanted to see happen. Knowing what was likely to come, regardless of Nagisa's own efforts to avert that eventuality, if they became close it would only cause further damage than it would already. Even worse was the thought that if Asuka or Shinji figured out what Nagisa was and figured out that she knew what he was... that would be a true disaster.
"Hey, are you ready to go?" Asuka's voice shook her from her spiraling. "You've been staring off into space for a minute there."
The redhead was looking at her already suited up fully with her hand on her hip and an impatient expression on her face. Rei met her gaze and nodded. "Yeah," she replied quietly. "I'm ready."
Asuka whirled around and began marching toward the door. Rei followed after her silently. Not another word was spoken by either of them until they reached the Eva cages. There was simply nothing to say...
When they reached the cages Shinji was standing there, looking up at the colossal visage of Unit 01. He looked both concerned and sad at the same time, standing there in his plug suit, a deep frown on his lips as he looked up at the Eva. Rei wanted to ask him what was on his mind but Asuka beat her to it. "What's got you in a bad mood?" she asked in an annoyed tone of voice. "Jeez, is everyone worried about this test other than me?"
Shinji's gaze remained fixed on Unit 01. "It's just... strange going back in there after what I experienced," he stated. "That's all..."
Asuka sighed. "Well, worry all you want, I'm going to Unit 02..." she huffed with a dismissive wave of her hand. With that, she continued on down the platform towards her Eva.
Rei stepped closer to Shinji. She understood his anxiety and wanted to ease it. Easing it might help alleviate her own... "I can promise you that you will have no issue," she stated soothingly.
He turned to her and his lips curved upward but the pensive look in his eyes remained. "I'm not worried about something happening," he replied. "At least... not anymore. Still, it's... strange. After what happened to me I just can't see Unit 01 in the same way I used to."
Rei nodded as a wave of realization washed over her. He was referring to the knowledge that his mother was inside, trapped within the core like he had been... "I understand," she replied. "I can't imagine you wouldn't see the Evas differently after your experience."
He sighed. "Well... it doesn't really matter how I feel about it," he returned glumly. "It doesn't change the job we have to do..."
She couldn't help but smile at those words. It was a surprisingly mature statement from him, evidence of how much he'd grown in the time she'd known him in this world. "Yeah," she replied softly. "That is true..."
He took a deep breath and let it out. "The tests are starting soon," he stated. "We should probably board our plugs before Ritsuko-san can complain."
Rei nodded. "This is also true," she replied warmly. "Good luck, Shinji."
He nodded back with a soft smile of his own. "You too, Rei," he returned.
The two them parted ways, heading to their respective plugs. Rei boarded Unit 00 with a heavy sigh, coming to rest in the plug's seat with her head bowed. She shut the hatch and closed her eyes before gripping the control sticks tightly in her hands. It was hard to believe that it had been a month since she'd sat in the cockpit of her Eva. She'd been in a plug during the past month, but that was the simulation plug used only for harmonics testing. Somehow the cockpit of Unit 00 felt... different than it had before, alien even. Perhaps it was because of her anxiety. Perhaps it was because Unit 00 was studying her... Either way, she felt uncomfortable.
"Flooding LCL," Lt. Ibuki's voice crackled over the com channel in the cockpit. "Electrical current in the plugs behaving normally."
Rei looked down at her feet and watched as the orange fluid rose upward, eventuality enveloping her completely. That first stinging breath filled her lungs and her frown intensified. Any minute now the test would begin and the path forward would be set...
"Initiating primary connections," Ritsuko's voice rang over the radio.
The walls of the plug began shimmering in all the usual colors and waves she remembered it shifting through before the displays came to life. Rei could feel that familiar connection she felt with Unit 00, that bond she shared. The apprehension remained but there was a certain familiar comfort there. It was almost like the Rei Ayanami trapped within the Eva wished to ease her worries as strange as that sounded...
"Testing will now commence," Ritsuko's voice sounded once again.
Rei steadied her breathing and closed her eyes. It was encouraging that the Rei inside the Eva might wish to assist her but it was only a small consolation amid the yawning void of hopelessness that threatened to envelop her. For now she'd put the world and the weight she carried out of her mind and focus simply on synchronization. She knew she was falling back on an old method of coping with her reality but it was all she could do right now...
She hated it, and she hated that she had a good idea of what was coming and that even now she was lost in finding a way to prevent it. The thought that it was impossible bit at the back of her mind. The thought that it was all outside of her control clawed for her attention but she wouldn't accept it. She couldn't accept it...
Otherwise those thoughts would certainly become reality...
Asuka grit her teeth as the test began. From the moment the plug had filled with LCL and the primary connection was established it felt like something was sinking away from her, like the Eva itself was trying to retreat away from her. No, she was certain that was what was happening, she knew her Unit 02's foibles well, and that feeling was infuriating. It had no reason to do this to her. How was it even possible that it was doing this? It was just a big, dumb machine after all...
"Asuka, are you alright?" Dr. Akagi's voice crackled over the radio. "Your harmonics pattern is fluctuating."
Asuka took a deep breath and let it out. "Yes..." she grumbled back. "I'm fine..."
This was all because of her losses and her anxieties and worries surrounding those things, the feelings of inferiority and shame. She was letting those things get to her head when she shouldn't. She was still the best even with those setbacks! The only way forward was to force her will onto Unit 02 and beat it into submission if she had to...
"Work with me, dammit..." she hissed. "Work with me like you did in Germany, before all this shit..."
No words answered her request, she didn't expect an answer anyway. She focused on maintaining synchronization, focusing on level breaths and absence of outside thought. She could feel the mental link to the machinery just like she normally did but it was... frayed, withering, and the plug itself felt cold...
The frustration began to mount once again. Of all the times that Unit 02 could decide to act funny it chose this moment, the first test in a month, to act us... it was infuriating. "This is not my fault, it's yours..." she snarled to herself after a moment, once again tightening her grip on the sticks. "Just fucking obey me!"
The chilly feeling inside the plug intensified but Asuka wouldn't relent. She would assert her will over her puppet and that would be the end of it. Unit 02 was her doll and she should be able to control it to her whims! Yes, this stupid machine was her toy and nothing more. She just had to fight harder, be more dominant, and put her all into piloting as she always had...
An indeterminate amount of time passed until Dr. Akagi's voice shattered her focus. "Alright, the test is complete," she stated. "Deactivation commencing now."
The synchronization link was cut and Asuka hung her head in defeat, releasing her death grip on the control sticks. She didn't need to wait for the results of the test during the debrief to know that her sync ratio wasn't good. She threw the switch on the control column to drain the LCL from the plug and then the switch for plug extraction. After that, she popped the main hatch and stalked off down the catwalk to the debriefing room so everyone could tell her what she already knew...
Shinji stood in the briefing room between Rei and Asuka, awaiting Ritsuko to enter and start the debrief but the results didn't really interest him, they never did. Right now his mind was elsewhere, still trying to absorb the feelings from the experience of getting back in the cockpit. Initially he'd felt anxiety but as soon as synchronization was initiated he'd felt the most warm and comforting sensation. It was like the soul in the Eva, his mother, or his mother's imprint, or whatever it was in the core, was reaching out to him... This time it was more intense than the usual link he felt but not overwhelmingly so but as the test wore on it faded until it was like the normal presence he felt when piloting. It would seem that his worries about getting sucked back in were completely unfounded. It seemed that Unit 01 was honoring his wishes post reconstitution from the core...
"So how do the three of you feel, finally getting back in the cockpit for the first time in a while?" Misato asked quietly.
"It was the same as always," Rei replied evenly.
"Yeah," Asuka added, folding her arms and scowling bitterly. "There's really nothing to say about it..."
Misato turned to him. "What about you, Shinji?"she inquired.
He shrugged his shoulders and glanced down at the floor. "Honestly, not much has changed," he replied. It was the truth... and yet it wasn't at the same time. "It feels mostly the same..."
Before Misato had a chance to respond the door opened and Ritsuko entered, clipboard in hand, launching immediately into the debriefing as soon as she turned to face everyone. "The results of the tests are good for the most part," she stated. "All three of you were able to activate your Evas and sustain a high enough sync ratio for combat operations. That said, NERV can return to full readiness effective immediately. However..."
"However what?" Asuka snapped almost immediately, tapping her foot in a display of impatience.
Ritsuko looked at the redhead with an expression of pity. "Asuka, your sync ratio has fallen substantially since your last test," she stated with genuine sympathy in her tone. "You're hovering around fifty three percent. Is something bothering you as of late?"
Asuka shifted on her feet and huffed in annoyance. "I'm fine..." she grumbled. "It's just been a while..."
There was a tense silence in the room before Ritsuko spoke again. "Well, we do have the tests of tomorrow," she said softly. "There's always next time, so long as the Angels continue to allow us this peace."
"Right, whatever," Asuka huffed. "Is that it? Can we go now?"
"Yes," Ritsuko replied. "The three of you are dismissed."
Shinji watched as his redheaded roommate turned on her heel and stomped out of the room. He almost didn't go after her but he did after a moment of hesitation. She was muttering under her breath when he caught up to her in the hall. "Asuka..." he called out to her softly. "Are you alright?"
She whirled around and glared at him. "What do you think?" she snapped. "My goddamn ratio is going down, do you even have to fucking ask?"
He flinched at those words but he wouldn't back down. "You can always get it back up with time, like Ritsuko said," he replied. "Besides, Eva shouldn't be the only thing that makes you happy..."
She stood there steaming for a moment before turning around with a growl. "Why the hell does everyone tell me that?" she hissed before continuing down the hall. "Stop sounding like Kaworu..."
Shinji didn't know what to say to that and simply watched her walk away. He then felt a hand on his shoulder, finding Misato standing there beside him. "Let her go, she'll be fine eventuality," she said encouragingly but he could see past her smile.
He turned his gaze back to the hallway and Asuka was gone. "Yeah..." he muttered. "Eventually..."
Rei had wanted to go with Shinji but moments after he and Misato had left the room Ritsuko had asked her to stay for a moment. The faux blonde scientist moved to the door everyone else had exited through and closed it before leaning against it with her arms folded. "This isn't good..." she stated, regarding her with a grave expression. "This is exactly like what you witnessed with her in the other world, isn't it?"
Rei nodded, her expression darkening. "Yes..." she replied softly. "It is very similar..."
Ritsuko heaved a sigh. "Do you think there is any way to reverse this trend with her?" she asked.
Rei looked down at her feet and thought hard on the subject at hand. "I'm not certain..." she replied softly. She wanted for Asuka to pull herself out of her slump but she didn't see an avenue to accomplish that. It was very much not within her ability to control or even influence...
A deeply uncomfortable silence filled the room. "Then it's only a matter of time until I'm tasked to recruit the Fifth Child..." she returned darkly. "And we both know what that will mean..."
Rei nodded in response. It would mean that they would be bringing the final Angel into NERV. Regardless of what his intentions were now, he'd assured her that he wanted to defy the will of SEELE, it posed a huge risk... "Yes. We do indeed..." she replied timidly.
Ritsuko scowled and shook her head in frustration and dejection. "In regards to the next Angel, do you think it will take the form of the one that you destroyed with the Lance Of Longinus in that other world?" she asked.
She nodded, the memory of throwing that lance returning to her as if it were yesterday. Considering how despite the number of the Angels she'd fought in this timeline being different then before all of the ones she'd fought by this time in the other world had appeared she supposed it would. If it wasn't, then it could possibly end up being... no. No, she didn't want to think about that, not right now, not until the time when and if she had to face that opponent... "I think that is a safe assumption," she replied.
Her friend nodded and breathed a heavy sigh. "Then we really are in a dire position..." she returned.
Rei nodded once again. "Indeed we are," she acknowledged quietly.
It was dinner time and Asuka sat at the table in the kitchen with both Misato and Shinji, picking at the bowl of pork ramen that sat before her. Shinji had cooked tonight, something she was grateful for, but her appetite was lacking. The silence in the room was suffocating but she didn't want to talk about anything. She hated it but she couldn't bring herself to do anything about it. Besides, what good was talking about meaningless bullshit other than a distraction?
"So, I'm sorry if I haven't asked in a while, but how is school?" Misato asked, breaking the ugly silence.
"It's fine, I guess," Shinji replied quietly. "I'm still catching up with all the school work I missed though. That's been hard."
"I can imagine," Misato returned. "I've been struggling to keep up with all the paperwork that the commanders have been sending my way so I can kinda relate."
Shinji sighed. "I suppose it doesn't get much easier when you're an adult, does it?" he mused softly.
Misato frowned. "Yeah, I suppose you're right..." she replied.
Asuka couldn't take it, seeing the two of them just talk about stuff like that when she was clearly going through the ringer. Sure, she'd hate to have them look at her with pity and try to console her about her piss poor performance at the sync test earlier in the day, but it would be better than simply being ignored! She stood up from the table. "I'm going to my room," she stated flatly. "Good night..."
Shinji regarded her with a concerned expression. "But you've barely touched your meal," Shinji returned. "Aren't you hungry?"
Asuka looked down her nose at him. "If I was hungry wouldn't I have eaten it?" she grumbled.
"Asuka, today was a little hiccup," Misato interjected. "I'm sure tomorrow will be better. You're just out of practice."
Asuka turned away from them. "I'd rather not talk about it," she replied as she left the kitchen. "I just want to be alone..."
As soon as she reached her room she threw herself onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. It all felt so hopeless and the contradiction of her mental state was making it all the worse. She wanted to be left alone to stew in her angst and anger but at the same time she wanted someone, anyone to reach out and tell her it was alright. She hated hearing Kaworu and Shinji telling her that Eva wasn't everything but she wanted to have hope that her life was meaningful without it at the same time. She didn't want to lose her sense of identity and yet it felt impossible to have an identity without Eva. What was she without Unit 02, without being its pilot? She didn't know... and that thought terrified her.
The walls began to close in around her and she turned on her side, curling up in a fetal position. She had to do something about everything but what? What was the right answer? She hated it. She hated everything. She hated herself... and she had no idea how to break away from that.
It was so stupid but her mind began to drift to Kaworu in that moment of despair. Of the people that she knew, he was the only one who seemed above judgment, who'd never rejected her, who'd never pushed her away in some manner. He seemed to just... care about her. Maybe... as stupid as it sounded... maybe just caring about him in return could give her purpose. No... that was so pathetic to even entertain that idea as attractive as it might be...
"Why am I like this?" she whimpered. "Why can't things just be easier like they used to be?"
Her thoughts drifted back to those seemingly distant days with Kaji in Germany. It was a time before having to fight the Angels, a time before she'd found herself friend with Rei, before she'd become infatuated with and rejected by Shinji, before she'd failed herself and others, before she'd grown attached to Kaworu... She missed the simplicity of those days. All that had mattered was scoring high in sync tests and combat simulations and trying to fruitlessly woo Kaji. Now... now everything was difficult and complicated. Maybe talking to Kaji would help her forget about things for a while...
She sat up with her cell phone and dialed Kaji's number. It rang and rang until finally going to voice mail. Breathing a heavy sigh she laid back down and ended the call. "Of course he'd be busy..." she huffed. "He never has time for anyone but Misato..."
She thought momentarily about calling Kaworu but the thought quickly passed as she threw the phone down on the floor before curling up into a ball atop her covers. If anything she could talk about things with him tomorrow at school...
Misato sat down at the small desk in her room. She'd left the kitchen shortly after after finishing her own meal and helping Shinji with the dishes. It was a relief to finally be away from all the tension in the house, to be alone at a time when she wanted to be. Shinji had asked her about how she was doing in regards to Kaji but she'd told him she'd prefer not to talk about it. It was the truth, it was something she'd prefer to keep inside, just like everything else...
She turned on her laptop and eyed the small drive on her desk that Kaji had given her shortly before he'd gotten himself killed. Now she not only owed it to herself to decipher the documents but to Kaji as well. Misato grabbed the drive and inserted it into the port on the side of her device.
A file window immediately appeared on her screen and inside was a second folder requiring an encryption key. She scowled. Of course Kaji would have given her something with a password without telling her about it. What could it be? Thinking about it, it had to be something that she would be able to infer. The box asking for the code seemed to be numeric and six digits... how hard could it be to figure it out?
"You really had to play one last game with me, didn't you Ryouji?" she muttered to herself.
She remembered during the meager espionage and intelligence gathering courses she'd attended since joining NERV that some of the most common bases for passwords were based on birthdays and important dates. That said, it seemed like a decent place to start. She tried the date of second impact first, then her birthday, Kaji's birthday, numerous combinations of those date, and all to no avail... She sat back in her chair with a sigh and folded her arms. It had to be some form of a date... otherwise why have the six digit format?
After another moment of pondering she concluded that if the number to unlock the files might be reliant on the traditional Japanese calendar. She converted the year to the corresponding Showa and Heisei era dates and began entering in the numbers once again. It took a while but eventually she found success...
The code was her birth year, the month of Second Impact, and Kaji's birth year. Misato couldn't help but smirk. "Maybe I could have made it in intelligence, huh?" she murmured quietly.
Upon uttering those words the grin fell away, replaced with a deep, introspective frown. "I suppose this is the last riddle you'll ever leave for me..." she murmured.
She shook her head and pushed those thoughts away. She had to be professional, Kaji wouldn't want it any other way. She clicked on the file folder and opened it, revealing a slew of spreadsheets, word documents, pdfs... the works. Pushing the final remnants of sentimentality she sorted the files by date and clicked on the top one in the column...
He'd ridden throughout the day, afternoon, evening, and into night without pause but finally he had arrived in Yaita. Perhaps the alias he'd given the police officer wasn't too much of a stretch all things considered. His legs ached, his ankles and knees were screaming at him to let up half of the journey but he refused to relent, not after what he'd listened to in Gendo Ikari's recording. Either way, upon reaching the outskirts of town, Kaji ditched the bike and continued onward into the town on foot. It was for the best to do so, the police were probably on at least passive lookout for someone matching his description on a bicycle after all...
It didn't take long until he'd scoped out the hotel that Fujita had asked to meet him at. Since he'd left his cell phone back at the morgue he'd have to find a pay phone to get it touch with the fellow spy. Careful to keep mostly unseen and inconspicuous he left the vicinity of the hotel to find one.
His search was fruitless. There wasn't a pay phone anywhere near the hotel and he wasn't about to stray too far from potential safety. It was a risk, he knew that, but it was better than drifting potentially kilometers away in order to find a safe place from which to make contact. Besides, he couldn't wait to share the knowledge that he now possessed. Kaji steeled himself and headed back toward the hotel...
When Kaji reached the hotel he stepped into the lobby and made his way to the receptionist desk, but only after checking his egress routes and ensuring that no one was tailing him. The woman at the desk greeted him with a smile. "Good evening," she said. "Would you like a room, sir?"
Kaji smiled. "No, that won't be necessary," he replied. "A good friend of mine is staying here presently from what I understand. I was hoping to meet him here tonight. I believe he may have a room."
The receptionist grinned wider and nodded. "Alright, what is your friend's name?" she asked.
"Tetsuo Fujita," Kaji returned. "Could you perhaps give his room a call, if he's here that is? I would very much like to speak with him."
"Oh of course," the receptionist replied pleasantly. Kaji watched as she dialed the phone and sat there with the phone to her ear. "Fujita-san? Yes. Yes, someone would like to speak with you." She thrust the receiver toward him. "Here you go, sir."
Kaji took the phone receiver and placed it to his ear. "Good evening, Fujita-kun," he stated pleasantly. "I assume you're well."
"Did you manage to leave Tokyo 3 undetected?" Fujita inquired, cutting to the chase immediately.
"For the most part," Kaji replied, making sure to keep his language cryptic in case the receptionist or anyone else might suspect him. "But nothing I can imagine you can't handle."
"What are you referring to?" Fujita asked. "Are you talking about NERV or the law?"
"The latter," Kaji returned. "The former is... less of an issue."
Fujita sighed on the other end of the line. "I suppose we can overcome that," he replied. "Please, tell me you have some kind of intel that's worth me sticking my neck out for you..."
Kaji scowled, remembering what he'd heard in the tape. "Oh, I have everything," he returned. "Everything you could ever dream of and more."
There was a pause before the fellow spy responded. "Alright..." Fujita replied. "I'll be right down..."
Kaji handed the receiver to the receptionist. "Sorry to have bothered you," he stated quietly. "My friend will be down in a matter of moments. Is there a place where I should wait?"
"No problem at all," the receptionist returned with a grin. "You can wait right here in the lobby."
Kaji nodded. "Thank you," he replied before moving away.
He sat down in one of the armchairs in the lobby and waited, keeping his eyes on a swivel for any suspicious activity. After a few minutes of this, he caught sight of Fujita entering the lobby. The fellow spy took the seat across from him and regarded him with a playful grin. "You look terrible," he stated.
Kaji smirked back at him. "I can imagine anyone would after riding a bike from Tokyo 3 to here," he replied.
Fujita nodded. "From what you said minutes ago, it sounded like an eventful journey," he returned.
"With the exception of one incident, the ride itself wasn't that eventful," Kaji returned. "Once I was out of Tokyo 3 it was relatively smooth sailing."
"That's good," Fujita returned. DIH agent paused momentarily and his playful grin fell away, shifting into a much more serious expression. "So..." he continued. "What do you have?"
"As I said, I have it all," Kaji returned, regarding him with a deathly serious expression, opening his jacket to show his comrade the files and the tape sticking out of the inner pocket. "Everything we could ever want and more is here; the truth behind everything that has happened since fifteen years ago..."
Fujita nodded, his expression showing that he understood the seriousness of the statement, his eyes locked on the wares being displayed. "Very well..." he replied, standing up. "Very well, Kaji-kun. I believe I owe you a drink. If you wouldn't mind following me that is. I know a rather nice bar nearby..."
Kaji smiled. After that brutal ride from Tokyo 3 he could use an alcoholic beverage. It would certainly be a nice way to take the edge off when informing his coworker and perhaps friend of all the shit he'd managed to uncover... "Lead the way, Fujita-kun," he replied.
Author's notes
First off, I'm terribly sorry for how long it took me to produce this one. The new job I have been working, while paying handsomely, has me working much longer hours. Needless to say, I have less time to dedicate to this unfortunately. To be honest, I'm working so much that I barely have time to do anything for myself. To be completely honest, I'm not really in the best of mental states as of late. The long hours and lack of sleep have been taking a toll. I hope that the quality of the prose in this update hasn't suffered due to this. If it has, then I'm sorry for that. This all said, the story is in no way deviating from what I've envisioned plot wise due to these outside factors.
Kaji's escape from Tokyo 3 takes front and center stage in this one and man did I have fun putting that together. It also provides perhaps the only moments of levity in this update. The story seems to be getting darker with each passing chapter. The parts regarding the main cast fragmenting and turning inward I know is depressing but maybe there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, depending on who's schemes come to fruition... Oh, and I do apologize that there has been a lack in decent Rei/Shinji moments for the last few chapters. Considering where the story stands, I can't imagine it being too much longer before that plot point comes to a head...
Please read and review! I hope this one satisfies!
Regards,
A.F.
