Disclaimer: I own only Eva and other unrecognisable plots. I don't make money from this, so please don't sue me.
AN:Thank you to everyone that reviewed, and welcome you fantastic newcomers! Here's another chapter for your enjoyment and critique.
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Chapter 18 - Nori's Promise
Nori sat in the silence of the night, his ears still ringing with the words of Lady Galadriel. He was stunned to silence, his mind not quite comprehending what Eva had said in response to the she-elf.
Now Nori, being the dwarf that he was, did not trust easily in people. He did, however, trust in what his gut told him. Ever since they had left the Shire, his gut had told him to wait for Eva to prove herself worthy. She needed to be given a chance - in his mind. She had willingly saved members of their Company twice without actually being tied to the Company itself, and for Nori this spoke to him of a giving heart.
Slowly, the star-haired dwarf processed the contents of the conversation that he had just heard. Part of him felt satisfaction for the loyalty that she showed the Company, and another part of him - the more honourable part of him - was absolutely horrified.
Dams were a precious gem in dwarrow culture, second only to children. The low birth rate as well as the fact that many dwarrow ended up craft-wed did not help the enduring of their race as a whole. So the fact that Eva willingly chose to journey with them did not sit well with many of the older members of the Company. Gloin in particular had quietly expressed his unease towards Nori as they had switched watches, worried not that she would be a hindrance, but rather that she could be killed despite their best efforts.
This resulted in wrongly directed anger and frustration in Eva's direction.
She bore it well on the outside, but that day she had been dismissed in Rivendell so coldly by Thorin had definitely affected her. She had been very selective after that with whom she had spent her time with. Her only true smile that Nori had seen so far was with Elrond's over-excitable ward. If she was going to be taking a journey that could very well kill her, then something had to be done about the dynamic in the Company regarding herself.
Nori huffed frustratedly as he fiddled his beard in contemplation.
Wha' am I gonna do now?
"Master Nori?" came Eva's soft enquiry.
"Mahalu-me turg!" Nori exclaimed as he jumped in surprise "Oi, Miss Eva! Don' do tha'!"
Eva didn't get the chance to reply as an elf emerged from around the corner.
"Lady Eva, found at last!" huffed Elrohir "My grandmother has the frustrating habit of not telling me where she g- are you alright, Lady Eva?" the elf began when he registered the anxious look on her face.
Eva blinked "No, not really…"
"Miss Eva… Mahal! Ye're gettin' paler by the momen'-"
Elrohir studied her face in growing alarm as he found the star-haired dwarf to be correct.
"My Lady, perhaps if you sit down-"
"NO!" Eva exclaimed suddenly as she gripped the railing in front of her almost unseeingly. "Just give me a moment…"
This was the reason why Eva had essentially hidden herself away from the world for so long. True, she still went to work and she enjoyed what she did, but moments like this had been all too common for her in the aftermath of burying her boys. Her grief would come suddenly and leave her temporarily trapped; frozen and almost unresponsive. She had worked hard with professional help to be able to keep the episodes under control, but viewing her own memories had awoken the response viciously.
Her breaths were shaky but measured as she felt the emotions slowly and painfully ebb into something more manageable. She felt moisture drip onto her hand and knew that she would have explaining to do, at least to those present.
"It's too closed in." Eva began in a whisper to Elrohir "Is there any place private but open that we can go?"
The ellon regarded Eva in all of her vulnerability "Yes, I know a place…" He began as he turned to Nori.
"I'll not leave ye." Nori whispered vehemently "Not ev'n with this pointy eared-"
"Nori!" Eva admonished quickly. Nori smiled though; his attempt at a quick distraction for Eva had worked for a moment. Elrohir shot a glance at the dwarf, and the look that he got in return confirmed what Elrohir thought the dwarf was trying to do for Eva.
"This way…" he murmured as he led them into the night.
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Thorin felt dread creep into him as he recognised the cold hallways that he travelled in this dream. All he could do was watch as he saw the familiar corridors that led down to the tombs move past him. Unlike previous dreams, he was viewing this as an observer from the outside.
As he reached the bottom of the staircase, he saw that the hobbit was waiting silently as his dream-self embraced his trembling form. Bilbo was red-eyed and red-nosed, but otherwise quiet.
"Bilbo…" Thorin greeted lowly, quietly.
"T-Thorin." Bilbo replied thickly. The little hobbit took a shuddering breath "Ori was here before… made sure that everything was presentable-"
"Thorin…" came Dwalin's pained voice.
Thorin was not liking this dream at all. Something was horribly wrong, and he did not like the feeling in the pit of his belly. His dream-self faced Dwalin.
Grief and pain were etched onto Dwalin's face, clear as moonlight on a cloudless night. Buried beneath that was a feeling of being completely lost. Thorin had not seen his One like this since the death of Fundin, Dwalin's adad.
"Together?" Dwalin asked shakily.
Dream-Thorin blinked "Aye, together."
The two khazad took each other's hands and descended into the tombs, observer-Thorin following behind. The pit of dread in his belly was growing uncomfortably. So instead, he glanced at Dwalin.
His oldest friend and his first One had silent tears flowing unstemmed down his face. His cheeks were wet and his beard had begun to be as well. They stopped at the stone dias, candles encircling the perimeter as if guarding the precious one within their circle. Observer-Thorin looked up and instantly wished he hadn't.
Eva's face was unnaturally pale and contrasted almost sickeningly against the raven black of her hair. Instead of having her hair braided as one simple braid, it had been fanned out delicately around her. He instantly recognised one of the braids as Kili's, tied off at the end with a simple bead - one Kili had as a child bearing the rune for Courage. Next to it was a braid that Bilbo must have done because it was wonky and bent, but it was tied with Eva"s signature red and gold ribbon.
Fanned out gently around her head were braids from the entire Company. Beads and clasps representing family, strength, endurance, wisdom and friendship littered her hair. A warrior's braid was put in as well; for what, observer-Thorin had no idea.
Guilt knifed his heart sharply as all three khazad approached the dias where she lay. She was beautiful, even in death. She had been dressed in one of her elven gowns he had seen her wear in Rivendell, the sapphire blue of her drape shining in the candlelight. The women of the race of Men had embroidered a kerchief that had been tied around her wrist. Observer-Thorin looked down and saw that it covered a newly healed scar. Just beside her wrist lay an ornately crafted staff of strong silver mithril wrapping around an oaken core.
"Gamut menu…" Dwalin whispered as he reached out to tug at Eva's kerchiefed wrist "Gamut menu, Karkarukê."
"It was never meant to end this way…" dream-Thorin began hoarsely. "It should have been me… you were never meant to be here… in the halls of my ancestors…"
Observer-Thorin saw his dream self fingering Kili's bead of courage, an unfamiliar feeling twisting his stomach and making him feel ill. He saw his dream self sink to his knees clutching her sapphire blue shawl.
"Please, don' leave us like this…" Dwalin begged her still form.
"My child." came a deep, sonorous voice.
Thorin started. The scene in front of him had frozen in place, making him back away unconsciously.
"My child." the voice said again, this time more urgently.
"Who's there?" Thorin snapped as he tried to drive down the panic rising within him.
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"I was not alright for a very long time after my boys passed." Eva began softly, the moonlight bathing the private garden that the trio were seated in.
Elrohir and Nori sat either side of her, silent and supportive as she gathered herself to tell her tale.
"I felt myself shatter back then, and I think a part of me has remained broken for this entire time. I've learned to manage with it, but sometimes… sometimes it catches me unawares."
"You must have loved him very much." Elrohir said quietly.
"I loved Liam," Eva began quickly. "Heavens I adored him, but my sons were my world. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for them." Eva swallowed thickly, then looked up at the two males "It's the greatest thing in the world, you know, when you're at the end of the day, and you felt that you've done a miserable job. You have these perfect little people crawl into your lap and say 'I love you, mum.' It made everything worth it for me. Maybe it's a bit hard for you to understand since you don't have kids... I can't describe it any better than that…" Eva trailed off.
For the first time on their journey, Nori saw Eva cry - truly cry. For the star-haired dwarf, this did not sit well with him for a few reasons - one being that he was not used to being around females of most races. The other though, was that Nori found that the sight of Eva in distress made his chest twist. She didn't cry in a noisy way. Rather, she let the tears come despite her hurt. This, in a very deep and unnameable way, was infinitely worse than any wailing. Gently, Nori awkwardly patted her small, soft hand with his own work-hardened one.
"The councillor said to me 'Eva, your heart was made to love. You just need to find that love again.'. I wanted to believe her, and I really tried. But I'm so scared. I loved so much the last time and life stole it all."
From his pocket, Elrohir produced a soft kerchief. His ada had always told him to carry two, as they were small and incredibly useful on his patrols. He pressed it gently into Eva's unoccupied hand and watched as her hand closed tightly around it, despite it not being brought up to wipe away any tears just yet.
"I don't want to give myself in that way to only be left alone again."
Her shoulders shook as she sobbed quietly, the kerchief Elrohir had given her finally being used to wipe away the tears.
"When a first met ye," Nori said quietly, careful not to startle Eva "I had no idea who ye were. But I knew tha' ye'd be someone ta wait an' watch for. Ye were loyal to us, looked ou' fer us, ev'n when ye didnae have ta."
Eva sniffed and squeezed his hand, even though she remained silent.
"Ye've a gentle and giving heart, Miss Eva, an' I know that we khazad are no' exactly friendly folk-"
Elrohir snorted here, which was quickly overridden by an 'Ow!' as Eva poked him in the thigh.
"But fer wha' it's worth, if ye do decide to stick with us, ma brothers an' I will certainly make sure ye're never alone. I promise ye tha'."
Nori got a shock as he felt her lean into his shoulder. Nobody had ever done that before with him ever, and it made him feel more than a little bit uncomfortable. He tried his best not to squirm.
"And I believe," Elrohir added "that a certain hobbit would also be in agreement with that sentiment. I have seen how Master Baggins is with you. He cares for your wellbeing very much."
"Thank you." Eva whispered. With one final sniff and a shake of her body, she turned to Nori "Do you think we might be able to get some extra training while we're here, Master Nori?"
Nori gently squeezed her small hand "Aye, I think we can."
"Leave that with me as well, My Lady." Elrohir began as he helped her to stand "I believe I may have a solution that would benefit everyone. After all, I do need to escort you to most of the places you need. We are not called the Last Homely House East of the Sea for nothing."
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"My child," came the deep voice once "I have watched you for many years, and I am pleased."
Thorin's eyes widened as he searched for the source of the voice with apprehension. It seemed to be coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once, and it was putting him on edge.
"But Thorin, you must not let what you have witnessed come to pass."
Thorin was able to set aside his panic and suspicion to ask "Who are you?"
Thorin swore he could feel the smile in this person's voice as it replied "Search your heart, Child of Stone. You know already who I am."
He inhaled sharply at the title he was given "Mahal?"
A pleased, low rumble reverberated around him. "Yes, child." the voice replied "When you wake, you must remember, Thorin, son of Thrain. You must not let this vision come to pass, or all will be lost."
Thorin snapped his eyes to the scene before him and watched as Dwalin held his dream self tightly in his embrace, both khazad clutching the funeral dress Eva had been wrapped in. He saw the utter devastation on both their faces and felt immensely confused.
"Great Father," Thorin began "I do not understand why-"
"Foolish child!" Mahal rebuked sternly "Your stone-headed stubbornness will lead to her death, Thorin. She is stronger and wiser than you give her credit for. Learn to put aside your stubbornness, child, so that you may succeed in your Quest."
Thorin was struck speechless for a moment, then "Erebor?" he whispered.
Thorin swore he heard a huff. "You will succeed providing Eva does not perish. Remember that."
Thorin woke with a lurch, and waking to be met with the peace of Rivendell simply intensified his feelings of unease. Scrambling up, he looked around the courtyard to make sure that he was the only one awake. Apparently though, he was not.
"Bâheluh?" sounded Dwalin's concerned yet strangled voice. Thorin heard his booted footsteps approach. "Thorin, what happened?"
"I Dreamed." Thorin began with a mixture of wonderment and fear.
"Wha' d'ye-"
"Dwalin, I Dreamed!" Thorin whispered, desperately trying to get his oldest friend to understand. "You were there!"
A look that was a cross between dawning understanding and mounting horror crossed Dwalin's face. "The handkerchief…" he trailed off with a whisper.
The two khazad stared at each other for a full minute. Long ago, the two had begun sharing the Dreams that would eventually lead them to each other. It had been frustrating at first, because neither dwarf had very many people to ask about Dreams. It was an extremely private matter, and not very well documented at all. They had known though, from the very moment they had acknowledged their own bond that it had been incomplete. Thus, they promised each other not to act until the other member of their bond had made themselves known.
"I don't remember that place." Dwalin began lowly. "I didnae like it…"
"I'm not surprised." Thorin began with reluctance "That was the royal burial chamber in Erebor." He licked his lips in a bid to buy him time to process what he had just witnessed "I've only been there once, and I have no intention of setting foot in there ever again unless I absolutely must."
Dwalin swallowed "I donnae understand, Thorin. Why her? She's human!"
Thorin took a measured breath, letting it out slowly through his nose "I don't know, Dwalin, but I met our Maker as well..."
Dwalin's confusion turned into straight up disbelief. The skin-headed warrior turned to him with searching eyes. Thorin studied his One for a long time as he tried to find the words to express himself. Dwalin saw his eyes grow dark as a realisation seemed to come to him.
"I don't think we're being told the entire truth, Dwalin." Thorin began darkly.
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Mahalu-me turg - Mahal's beard
khazad - dwarf (plural)
Gamut menu - Forgive me
Karkarukê - My tiny raven
Ada - father
Bâheluh - Friend of all friends
AN: As always, I appreciate your feedback. This one had to be heavily edited, and has no resemblance to what was originally here to start with… welcome to the editing process!
