Acquired from the Quibbler Archives and reprinted with permission of Publisher

Rare Flying Olephants Discovered in North America!

By Xeno Lovegood.

I received a note from Old Tom at the Leaky Cauldron that one of his customers was reporting very strange creature sightings. In particular, Flying Olephants among others! So, this intrepid reporter tracked down Flavious Stultus, who claimed to be an eyewitness, to interview him in the Leaky Cauldron. We spoke extensively about his claims about a wild nature preserve in "Floodia" called "Dizzy's World". Here is the interview:

XL: "Lets start at the beginning Flavious. Can I call you Flavious?"

FS:" Of course Xeno. Do you think you could get me an ale. I'm kinda parched you see. Hard to talk when you throat is all scratchy."

XL: "No problem. Tom another ale for my friend. So, what is Dizzy's World Flavious?"

FS: "Fantastic it is. It's got to be a nature preserve. Even the bloody shrubs look like fantastic animals. Ouch, an it's ruddy huge. They's even got a railroad that flys through the air. I kid you not. It's got some system that puts one rail in front of it all the time, sort like a Gimeno charm. It's faster than any broom at Hogwarts. Theys got a second railroad too. Sorta like the Hogwarts Express, a right miniature steam engine and open cars. They haul around small people."

XL: "Small people?"

FL: "I was far away but I expect that most of them were little people, not hardly coming up to me belt. There was some regular sized folks but the line was very long so I didn't wait."

XL: "Well, that yes, that sounds fantastic. How did you get to this park?"

WF: "Don't rightly know Xeno. I was hoisting a few tankards in the Thestral pub in Knockturn Alley chatting up a right comely witch and next thing I know I'm surrounded by Hags and then I'm a waking up in the nature preserve. Flat on me face I was in front of a saloon. I was parched. Mouth felt I had the Sarah Desert in it. So I wandered in see. You won't believe what I saw."

XL:" What did you see?"

Flavious drained his tankard.

WF: "Well now you ask I do remember it turned out to be a strange building that had really big bears playing musical instruments. I walked though some bat wing doors expecting to see a saloon but there was seats galore and a stage. I thought I may have had a bit too much punch at the pub and backed out of there. Couda been, no I'm right sure it was, bears. I passed out at the point they started playing Hank Williams "I'll never get out of this world alive." Then, I don't know how much later I found myself waking up in a boat. It was terrifying I tell you Xeno. Can I have another beer? Just thinking about makes me shiver. I need to settle my nerves. I was in a cave. In a small boat like they take first years to Hogwarts. The current kept us moving along. There were baby banshees or harpies everywhere. It must have bin-a nursery for the creatures. They was screeching out "It's a small world after all" over and over. I couldna get it out of me head. I thought I was cursed. Good thing dey was young'ns otherwise I don't think I'd be here. I'm shaking thinking about it Xeno. Could I have that beer now?"

XL: "We have got off topic Flavious. Where exactly is this nature preserve? Where is Floodia you mentioned in your letter?"

WF: "Somewhere in the southern part of North America. The US Aurors told me it's a state. Sort of like a county or shire here, only bigger."

XL: "Tell me about the flying Olepahnts you mentioned in your letter. Can you tell me what you saw?"

FS: "Yes, they were grey olephants with giant pink ears!"

XL: "Really, Pink ears? Any other distinguishing characteristics?"

FS: "Oh yes, they had brightly colored pastel hats and saddles on. They even took children for a fly ride!"

XL: "You said you saw them fly? And they took children along?"

FS: "Oh yes, I did. Ah, could I have another mug of beer, I'm a bit parched here. Sorta like a big Hippogyffen."

XL: "Sure Flavious, Tom another round here.. You mean like a Hippogriff? But tell me how they flew. This is just fantastic."

FS: "They would extend their ears you see, like this. (Flavious stretched out his arms to his sides). They was huge, and they's would start flapping the buggers and soon they lifted off the ground."

XL: "How far did they go? How did they keep them in the nature preserve?"

FS: "Well they had some bar and tackle system which held them close together. Speaking of which, could I get another mug of ale. All this yapping makes a man thirsty. I'd say they flew up to about twenty-five to thirty feet in the air. Flew in a circle."

XL: "Oh sure. But you say they were controlled by bars?"

WF: "Oh yes, the bars were attached to a pole in the ground. The Olephants must have had a harness or somtin. Kept the beasts flying in a circle. After a few minutes they would get tired and land.

XL: "Anything else of interest did you see."

FS: "I was frightened outa me boots I was. They had giant mouses running around. So big they was wearing short pants. They are bigger than even Dolores Umbridge. I was trying to buy a big mouse trap when some Aurors came and picked me up and sent me home. It's all fuzzy you know."

XL: "Well thank you Flavious."

There you have it folks. My next summer expedition is to search out this Dizzy's World Nature Preserve and bring back pictures of the flying Oelphant's, guitar toting bears and baby banshees.