ALL'S NOT FAIR IN LOVE
Chapter 4 - Life Goes On
After her girl talk with Lanie, Kate decides to stay the course and see which of her two suitors is more worthy. The weeks following the talk it seemed that things had gotten back to a routine. She continued to date Josh and Rick kept his distance but was always there for her. She could feel Rick's presence and it gave her comfort that he was there for her despite. Rick and her would have lunch together almost daily at the 12th or out to Remy's, or other favorite lunch places. When they worked late nite cases, Rick treated for a delivered dinner for the team. Then she and Rick would enjoy a dinner together just the two of them.
People did not take them being together as strange because they were work partners. That is how it was with cops. If they had no late night case, and Josh was on DWB missions, or Hospital duty, Rick invited Kate to the loft for dinner. Kate always accepted and she enjoyed dining with Alexis and Martha. It was safe and familiar and made Kate feel accepted. She loved being with Rick and his family.
Likewise the understanding she had with Josh to date continued, but their times together now were few as Josh had gotten back to doing his overseas missions with Doctors Without Borders. Their first three months together Josh had no missions. Now the missions were once again starting. He had even left her on two occasions for 30 day missions, one to Haiti, and the other to Africa. Josh had been back now for a month, but out of the six months they had been together, two of those were on DWB missions. So now they were once again getting back to dating, but still they had not slept together. Kate was not yet ready to make that choice.
Kate found that even with Josh gone on DWB missions, she never missed him. Rick was there for her and at times she felt guilty that she saw Rick more often than she did Josh. So when Josh did return from his missions they tried to see each other more frequently, but their work schedules often did not accommodate their dating plans. Josh had just returned from his last mission and they finally had gotten a few dates together. But now with the 30 day absence from her, it was like Josh and her were starting anew when they did their dates.
One particular night out with Josh, at one of their favorite restaurant, Josh tells her, "Kate, I think you should get rid of Castle as your partner."
"What? Why do you say that, what is this about? Is this you being jealous?", he had caught her by surprise on his comment.
"No, but hear me out, Castle's not a cop and can't protect you if it comes to it."
"I protect us Josh. I'm the cop. I'm the one with the gun."
"What good is he then? Surely he has done enough research to fill fifty books."
"It's no longer about his research. Castle helps solve cases and he has become an integral part of the team. He has helped us to get the highest case closure rate of the whole NYPD. The captain is pleased and has told Castle to stay as long as he wants to, and the team wants him, I want him to stay on. But you are wrong, Castle has saved me from harm on two occasions, and without a gun."
"Kate, have you slept with him?", Josh had feared that may have happened in his absence during his DWB tours.
Kate is stunned by the question, so much so, she can't answer. She has her mouth hanging open in surprise. Finally getting over her shock to the question, she speaks, "Josh why are you asking? You know I am not a virgin, I have been with other men before you. I know you have been with other women. So why the question? It should not matter who we have been with in the past. What matters is we are together now. That is what counts, so you surprise me with this question."
"Is your long winded answer a NO?"
Josh had been told on numerous occasions from his hospital friends about Kate and Rick having many 'dates' together when Josh was on mission. There were page six entries in local newspapers talking about how the writer and muse were being quite cozy on these so called dates. When Josh was asked about them, he defended Kate by saying Castle was her work partner and their being together was understood. Josh contended that all those times were just work partners doing lunch or meals together. Despite his explanations to his collegues, Josh wondered if perhaps something was happening when he was on mission. He did not like the rumors going round the hospital about Kate and Rick.
"What are you getting at Josh, that I am cheating on you with Castle?"
"I didn't say that Kate."
"No you didn't, but your question implies it. For the record, I have not slept with Rick and no we are not currently sleeping together. You insult me with the question. It seems like you don't trust me! I am a one man woman and do not step out on my steady boyfriend. Rick and I are friends, albeit, best friends. We are also work partners and have each other's back. That is how it works. I will not have you thinking otherwise."
"I'm sorry Kate for the question. I did not mean to imply anything other than I am concerned for your safety as Rick is not a trained cop like you." He is backtracking and both he and Kate know that he is.
This was the first time that Kate got an inkling of Josh's jealousy about Rick. This talk of theirs pointed out to her that Josh did not trust her to remain faithful to him. What did that mean for their continuing relationship? Josh was still pushing for them becoming carnal. Kate was resisting because doing so meant for her committing to a higher level of intimacy leading perhaps to marriage.
Kate was no prude when it came to sex. She had been with other men in physical relationships, with Wil Sorenson being the last man she had shared a bed . But having sex with a man was a commitment for Kate to a more exclusive and more serious union at a higher level of devotion. She was not there yet with either of these two men in her life.
Then at the other end of the spectrum, there was Rick. He was not pushing her for sex. No, Rick was content to be her best friend and to be there for her at a moment's request for help. He never let her forget that, but he did so, not just with his words, but with his actions. Kate had become used to Rick at her side, it seemed so natural. Could she continue without Rick as her partner? She did not want to know. Josh since his return from a DWB mission was now pushing the issue of becoming carnal, and Kate was still conflicted on that very issue.
Kate knew that sex was an important part of a serious relationship. This applied for Rick and most especially Josh. As it was for her! Kate needed an active sexual life and she had not had one since Sorenson. But Rick let her know that he was after the complete package and not just the physical side of a relationship. Rick was showing to Kate that he was the better man and respected what she had with Josh. Rick chose to stay even as just a friend because he did have strong affections for her. Rick was willing to be with her even if it was in just a platonic relationship.
Rick had remained steadfast in his devotion to her, even when she had chosen to continue her dating Josh. The situation was continuing to be unfair to all of them involved, but most especially for Rick. Her 'Castle' discussion with Josh spelled for her the coming of a storm, a Josh storm. He was the first of the two men in her life to show doubt on their relationship and she was apprehensive of what it held for their future together. She wondered if she did sleep with Josh if that would be the end of them. Was Josh trying to just relieve an itch and once done he would be over her?
This was an initial sign that Josh was losing confidence that he could be what she wanted. But did Josh want more or was it just sex? It was appearing more like Josh just wanted the sex and not interested in a real joining of body and spirit. Seems that Josh, unlike Rick, was not going for the whole package. Kate was that package and in a similar fashion wanted the same in the man she choose to be with completely, both in a physical and emotional manner. Kate wanted true intimacy beyond just the physical. Now she wondered if Josh was capable of that and now was doubting himself.
From all this, Kate was seeing storm clouds brewing that might sink her relationship with Josh. She now started to consider if she should break up with Josh. Again she considered that the most affected by what was transpiring here was one Rick Castle. This situation truly was more unfair to Rick than to Josh. Josh at least had the status of being her boyfriend and people knew of them as an couple. Still Rick stayed with her on the hope he would get his chance. Was she giving false hope to Rick?
Of the two men in her life, one her boyfriend, Josh, the other her best male friend, Rick, why the separation in their status? Should it not be that your boyfriend is also your best male friend? Josh had much to do to become both and now Josh was showing he may not the one for her. With Rick, it was all there, but for the official acknowledgement by Kate that she had her one and done in him. The immovable object had met the irresistible force and truly something had to give! And that is what Kate had feared all along with these two men. It was becoming more clear each day on who her choice should be as her significant other.
A Case Celebration
They had just solved the case of a female body found together with a male body in the same coffin. It had been a tough case. A particular event from the case had Rick wondering if Kate and Josh had become more serious about the sexual part of their relationship. The victim was a doctor and in the process of investigating the hospital that the victim had worked at, it was found that she had been in affairs with her fellow doctors. This finding lead to a significant conversation between Kate and Rick. It had Rick believing that her relationship with Josh may have indeed become carnal. Rick recalls that very discussion.
"You know, with the state of health care and how stressful this can be for families and for patients, I'm surprised more medical professionals aren't killed every day", Kate had said about their victim.
"Yeah. Not to mention the betrayal, the lust, the bed hopping", remarked Castle as Kate gives him an incredulous look.
Rick continues, "I've watched enough medical dramas to know that doctors are notorious for sleeping with each other. We just confirmed that by this case. I bet, as we speak, in this hospital, two doctors are in a break room doing it. And by it, I mean ..."
"I know what it means, Castle, and that is just a urban fantasy. Four out of five doctors prefer sleeping with someone outside of their profession."
"Four out of five?"
"Mmhmm."
Then a light turns on in Rick's brain, "How many of them like detectives?"
"One, that I know of."
"Woah, you mean Motorcycle Boy is a doctor?", Rick is surprised by Kate's reply.
"Man, Castle. Motorcycle Man."
"Fine, but he's a doctor?"
"Yeah, he is."
"So has it gotten to that with Josh"
"I'm not there yet Rick."
"Huh. OK, well, so what kind of doctor is Josh? Urologist? Proctologist? Don't tell me he's a ...(pause)...gynecologist!"
"He's a cardiac surgeon."
"Oh. Cardiac surgeon. Wow, that's ..."
"Impressive... yes, it is. In fact, he did an emergency bypass on someone the other day. Saved the patient's life. "
After that conversation Rick knew that Josh and Kate were becoming closer in their union and were thinking about having sex with one another. This thought shook Rick's hope for a chance at Kate. He knew if and when it happened, the more serious their commitment to remain a couple would become.
Still during that talk with Kate, she had once again disclosed privately to him, that she was not sleeping with Josh... yet! The word 'yet' caused him some anxiety but Rick remained hopeful and still encouraged that this Kate&Josh thing would resolve itself and hopefully in his favor. However, if it did become physically intimate between them and they eventually split up, Rick needed to be there for Kate. Rick was not about to make the same mistake as he had done with Demming.
He had to be there for her, to help Kate heal, and then eventually to have his chance of becoming her boyfriend. What mattered most to Rick was that Kate would be with him, not just in body, but in mind and spirit. Rick wanted the whole package and knew that Kate is the complete item. He continued to be there for her, but it was getting harder on his psyche as time passed and Kate continued to date Josh.
So once they had solved the case and Rick suggested drinks and snacks at The Haunt, Club and Bar, of which he was the owner of said establishment. Everyone agreed to the celebration, but Kate was reluctant.
"Come on Kate. In fact, if Josh is free tonight bring him along", Castle tells her urging her to join in.
"Yeah Kate, I have asked Lanie to be there also", Espo adds to encourage Kate to come.
"Let me make a call."
Kate takes out her cell and then heads to a free space to have a private talk.
She comes back after the cell phone call, "Ok I'm in, Josh will meet us at The Haunt."
Rick is pleased. This is the first time he will see Kate and Josh as a couple enjoying an evening out. Rick does not know what he wants to learn from that observation. Maybe he is hoping to see that the union is not that strong, not that serious. He knows they have not yet slept together and that bolsters him. Rick knows that once a couple does decide to have sex, they become more intimate, more committed to each other. So subconsciously Rick is trying to deal with that possibility.
Rick wanted to be assured that he still had a chance with Beckett despite what may happen between her and Josh in the near future. Rick already was steeling his heart for the worse but hoping for the best. Rick had considered that Josh might just be in their relationship for just a conquest and that if he slept with Kate, it would be over. Josh would have had his way and then lose interest in Kate. Rick felt guilt thinking about Josh that manner. Josh had not yet exhibited publicly any such character flaw or for that matter that he is a predator.
Still if Josh is a predator then the worst possible outcome for Kate might happen. Kate could become another conquest for Josh and she would be devastated by it. If possible, Rick hoped she might decide on himself before anything else could happen with Josh. Still if it came to it, Rick wanted to be there for her to help her heal what wound Josh may inflict upon her. Rick knew that cut would be deep for her, but that is when Kate would need him the most.
Rick had promised to be there for her always, even if it meant his already fragile heart was bruised along the way by staying with her despite. Rick Castle was not about to repeat the one mistake that he had made with Demming. By his actions, Rick showed he was indeed the better of the two men in Kate's life.
