We All Have A Stupid Side

AN: THANK YOU AlexLuke for your continued support and feedback! You're slagging AWESOME!

AN 2: MERRY CHRISTMAS to all my readers! Here's an extra chapter for ya, and be sure to check out my TMNT stories, available here and at archiveofourown dot org.

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"Sideswipe, what are you up to now?" Prowl asked bluntly.

"Nothing," Sideswipe chimed automatically, adding a boyish grin.

Prowl didn't buy his misdirection.

"There were fifty cases delivered to the ARK and Red Alert opened them to find spray cans."

"Oh, it's a project thing for Sunny," Sideswipe lied easily. "He needed this human stuff for something."

"But the package was addressed to you." Very little escaped Prowl's logical mind.

Sideswipe shrugged. "Doesn't matter who it was addressed to. As long as it got here and Sunshine can do his project and stop pestering me."

Prowl quirked a brow ridge.

Prowl didn't know Sunstreaker could pester.

Scowl. Maim. Connive. Destroy.

Yes. All those things.

Pester? Highly unlikely.

"Just see to it the spray paint does not end up decorating the ARK," Prowl forewarned.

Sideswipe pointed to the burnt pumpkin colored walls. "Why? You think this color is better?"

Prowl flicked a doorwing, his only sign of irritation. He suffered a memorable crash after Sideswipe originally discussed the color scheme of the ARK.

Sideswipe. The bane of the Autobot ranks.

Blasted mech could lock up Prime if given the enough fodder.

And he had, but only the one time. Much to his chagrin.

"Keep the painting to the studio and nothing more," Prowl said tersely, stepping past Sideswipe.

Sideswipe watched the SIC depart, still wondering how a mech heavier than himself could make so little noise. The Praxian was a shadow.

Whistling, Sideswipe went to the security director's office to collect the supplies. It took him several trips to relocate the cases. A few he was able to store in his subspace, thus cutting down on the trips. Red Alert watched him with wary optics, and on his last trip, Sideswipe stood in the doorway and screamed bloody murder at an apparently empty corner.

Red Alert instantly jumped to defense, scanning the room for what caused such a reaction and Sideswipe snickered, knowing Red Alert would probably stomp the tiny spider weaving a nest in the corner.

Just in case it was a Con infiltrator.

Sunstreaker entered the quarters he shared with his twin and found Sideswipe passed out on his berth. Grumbling, Sunstreaker grasped his twin by his waist seam and yanked, pulling the slumbering Lambo off the berth and onto the floor

Sideswipe squawked but didn't make a move to get up. He slept where he fell, used to his brother shoving him off of the berth. Sunstreaker glared at his twin between stepping over him and curling up on his berth, where he powered down, happy Sideswipe had warmed it up for him.

The next morning, Sideswipe slept in, seeing how he had night duty. It was a shift he loathed, but as some of the bots pointed out, the Cons had never performed raids late at night. But, it was better to be safe than sorry.

So if two were schedule to watch monitors, one had to glance at the screen while the other could rest. Though Prowl found out mechs played games and ignored the monitors all together. Had the Cons learned of their lax timeframe, they surely would have taken advantage of it.

So now, bots were schedule one at a time at the monitor. One bot would roan the halls, patrolling to ensure the perimeter was safe.

Tonight, Sideswipe was scheduled with Cliffjumper, who preferred to watch monitors, and play games while his partner took to actively patrolling the lonesome corridors.

Jazz's usual party was winding down around eleven thirty that night. The bots who didn't have duty the next day were overcharged, their comrades laughing at their drunken antics. When midnight rolled around, Sideswipe strolled into the main hub and seated himself at the monitor.

Cliffjumper came in a moment later and scowled. "I always take monitor duty."

"Had a little to drink," Sideswipe said, turning a goofy look to his partner. "Need to sit for a bit and let the charge filter through."

"Should have known better," Cliffjumper groused, taking the chair beside Sideswipe and logging into Tele-tran to play a game.

"Should wear off in an half hour or so," Sideswipe said.

"Lucky," Cliffjumper breathed. He had a low tolerance for the high grade. Yet the twins could drink it like water in their radiators, and not flinch.

"Cast iron tank," Sideswipe grinned, then gave his helm a little shake. "Better give me an hour. Then you can have monitor and I'll patrol the perimeter."

Cliffjumper sighed and got up from his game, leaving the command center to investigate the halls, supply closets, munitions and energon dispensary, then a short lap around the ARK. The Dinobots he avoided, simply because if a Con infiltrated them and wandered into their domain, the Dinobots could have him. As a new toy. Slag especially was fond of using living mechs as toys. A fact that annoyed Optimus Prime but entertained Grimlock.

It took almost an hour for Cliffjumper to finish his rounds. When he returned, Sideswipe gave him the thumbs up and hopped from his chair, eagerly heading out of the hub and into the halls. Cliffjumper sighed in relief and turned his game back on, trying to beat his previous high score.

Sideswipe looked up to the security camera, now dormant as he had shut down the security measures inside the ARK. With a gleam in his optics and trouble brewing in his spark, he set to work.

As expected, no good came out of Sideswipe being left unchaperoned.

When bots started to rouse from slumber, Prowl being the first one up at six am, they opened their doors to find a virtual wonderland. There was no doubt as to who was responsible for the heavy frost decorating the doors, halls, floor, and even patches of the ceiling in a white, fluffy matter.

Security cameras were decorated the same way, creating long feathery icicles hanging from their lenses. The rec room had already been decorated to the winter wonderland. The command staff groaned at the thought of their offices being covered in this false snow, but thankfully, all the offices were clean.

As was the command hub, where Sideswipe was sitting at the monitor, a grin plastered to his face to make him look half crazed. Cliffjumped was sound asleep at his station, totally oblivious.

"Sideswipe!" Prime barked.

The guilty bot turned, beaming and quite frightening. "Yes?"

Cliffjumped jumped in alarm, bolting upright and immediately tapping buttons on the keypad, pretending to be hard at work.

"Do you know what happened to the ARK?" Prime asked.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Sideswipe asked dreamily. "And it's fake snow, so it won't melt and get everything wet and make the dirt turn into mud. It's ingenious! All the beauty of winter and none of the slush!"

Sunstreaker came storming into the command center, thunder in his steps, pushing past Prime. He didn't speak. Didn't give warning. Just drew back his arm, curled his fist, and punched his brother flat out on the floor. Sideswipe was unconscious before he touched the ground.

"You slagging moron!" Sunstreaker boomed. "This stuff will flake off and get sucked into our vents! What are you trying to do? Terminate us by choking fibers?"

Ratchet came in, glaring at the red menace currently unconscious, a goofy grin plastered to his face.

"I take it you didn't know what was going on?" Ratchet surmised.

"No," Sunstreaker growled, giving his brother a kick that rolled his torso slightly. "I had ordered this stuff for a project I was going to do, but apparently Numb Nuts thought it would be fun to fill the ARK with pseudo snow and potentially terminate us."

"It is rather pretty," Jazz said dreamily, staring into the snowy corridor. Jazz loved snow. Couldn't keep the bot out of it you tried.

"He'll clean up this mess," Prowl said, sternly. Everyone had to fight back the urge to giggle as some of the powdery substance had fallen off the ceiling and was hanging like a snowy web along Prowl's doorwings, giving him an angelic appearance.

"Good," Sunstreaker huffed, stalking past the command unit. "My brother's a flocking idiot."

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