Chapter 20

If this is just a dream
Then I can't get hurt
Jump across the fire
Then I can't get burned
Give me back my life
What is it anyway?

-"Boomerang" by The Cactus Blossoms


AN: To illustrate my deepest apologies for the wait, this is an extra long chapter. Thanks for sticking with me!

Major warnings here. This is a heavy chapter. If you want to jump to the end of chapter notes, I will give a more detailed content warning.


James had to focus to keep his body still in the conference room. His leg had been bouncing so aggressively that the table had started to rattle. He hadn't even noticed until Tony snatched his coffee cup off the table and made a quip about how he liked his coffee stirred and not shaken. They were waiting for Strange and Wong, who had apparently discovered something important in their research. He wasn't sure what it was, but from Steve's face when he relayed the message, he was willing to bet it wasn't good news.

Finally, the sparking orange circle appeared and Strange and Wong stepped out. Both of them carried a very ancient looking tome and their faces were grave. James felt his stomach drop and clenched the bottom of his chair. The metal groaned slightly under his metal hand and he forced himself to relax his grip.

"It's not good news." Strange announced immediately.

Most of the people in the room winced at the Sorcerer Supreme's bluntness, but James actually appreciated that Dr. Strange didn't mince words.

"This has happened before." Strange continued. "A coven of witches in the 17th century were attempting to train their minds to resist a psychic attack. They created mazes in their consciousness similar to what Wanda has done. Six of them got lost, and when their High Priestess could not bring them back, they traveled to Kamar-Taj to seek the help of the Ancient One."

Wong placed the tome he held on the table in front of them, flipping through to a specific page, and picking up where Strange left off. "The Ancient One was able to bring four of them back, but they quickly learned that the more powerful the witch, the more quickly they descended into madness."

The chair groaned under James' hand again and he forced himself to release the twisted metal. Steve put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and James barely stopped himself from flinching.

"The last two witches were the most powerful in the coven besides the High Priestess. It took only three weeks for them to be lost forever."

"What does that mean, lost forever?" Steve asked, his voice somehow still steady.

"The texts describe them as living ghosts." Strange said gravely. "Their bodies lived, but their minds were gone. They were unable to function independently and often experienced bouts of aggression. The coven stayed at Kamar-Taj until the death of the two witches eight years later because they were unwilling to leave them behind, but understood it was far too dangerous to bring them back home."

"How did they die?" Romanoff asked.

"They died of natural causes." Wong explained. "With their minds lost, their bodies aged prematurely. They are described as being in 'the bloom of youth' when they arrived, but after eight years their bodies resembled ancient crones."

James wasn't entirely sure he was breathing. Steve's hand tightened on his shoulder.

"It's been about twelve days." Sam said in a low, pained voice. "If Wanda has only three weeks-"

"She probably has less." Strange interrupted. "As the Scarlet Witch, she is infinitely more powerful than these witches were."

"So what are our options?" Tony interjected sharply.

Strange glanced at him. "Before we discovered this information, our options were to forcibly bring Wanda back at the risk of her memories or wait and see if she was able to find her way on her own."

"I'm talking about now. " Tony snapped.

Strange hesitated briefly. "Now I would advise that waiting no longer be an option."

"So you're saying the only option is to forcibly bring Wanda back and she might lose all her memories."

"How do you know you can even bring her back?" Romanoff said, her voice slightly sharp. "The Ancient One was unable to bring the two witches back."

"It is theoretical." Wong admitted in his gravelly voice. "The witches arrived at Kamar-Taj four weeks after they became trapped in their minds. The Ancient One theorized based on her examinations that it was around three weeks when the witches slipped too far to be brought back."

The silence that filled the room felt heavy.

"How do you know she's not too far gone already?" James asked roughly after a moment.

"I don't." Strange said honestly. "I only got a brief feel of her mental state before the Scarlet Witch powers manifested. I won't know until I can actually examine her mind." He paused. "I am also unsure if the Scarlet Witch will allow me to help Wanda at all."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have tried to kidnap her the first time you met her." Tony said darkly.

"The four witches that the Ancient One brought back." Romanoff said suddenly. "Did they lose their memories?"

"Three of them." Wong answered, glancing back down at the text in his hands. "One regained her memories over a year's time. Two of them never recovered those lost memories."

James stood abruptly, startling everyone in the room.

"I need some air." He managed to choke out before striding out of the room.

He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going until he realized that he had ended up at Pietro's grave. He paced for a while, trying to get the furious energy out of his body without breaking something. He wanted to break something. The helpless rage and fear and pain felt like it was suffocating him.

He closed his eyes and tried to remember the breathing exercises Sam had talked about. It took a long time and he almost gave up more than once, but finally he felt his emotions grow smaller. He heard footsteps approaching and knew without turning around that it was Steve.

"You ok, Buck?" Steve asked quietly.

"I dunno." James answered honestly, his voice hoarse.

"When I realized you didn't know me, it almost killed me." Steve said quietly after a pause. "Everyone told me that you were gone, that I should give up, but that was never an option."

James' breathing grew more ragged, but he still didn't turn around.

"I knew if even a tiny shred of the Bucky I knew was still there, he would fight tooth and nail to come back." Steve's voice cracked slightly. "You never needed any serum to make you strong. It's just who you are. Wanda might have taken out the trigger words, but you are the one who really defeated Hydra's programming."

"I'm not the same as I was, Steve." James growled. "I'm not that Bucky anymore."

"I know." Steve said softly. "But I'm still so glad you're here."

James stared into the woods and tried to swallow around the lump in his throat.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that Wanda is strong too. She's a lot like you. And I believe that even if she comes back not knowing who any of us are, she'll still find a way back to herself."

They were still and quiet for so long that the birds began to chirp again around them. James couldn't help thinking about how he'd felt when he left Steve's battered body on that river bank in DC. The chaos and pain and panic caused by the broken fragments of his mind. For a long time he felt more like an animal than a human, relying on basic instincts. The years that followed had not gotten easier as he tried to remember the Bucky Barnes he'd seen in the museum while knowing he would never be able to be that person again after all the things he'd done. Remembering the torture he'd been through had been horrorifyibg. Remembering his love for Steve while haunted by the memory of Steve's bruised and bloody face beneath his fist had been excruciating. He would do anything to spare Wanda from an agony like that.

"I want to go with Strange."

James finally turned back around to fix Steve with a piercing look. Steve looked confused.

"When he goes in Wanda's head and tries to pull her out, I want to go with him. He should be able to do that, right?"

He could see the calculations flashing through Steve's eyes. Ever the soldier, the captain.

"I would assume there'd be some risks." Steve finally said slowly.

"If I could help find her and keep her from seeing Strange as a threat, it would be worth it."

"She might not know you." Steve's voice was quiet, but pained.

"I got this pal who once said giving up is never an option."

Steve smiled, somehow looking both happy and sad, and James knew he'd convinced him. "Sounds like a good pal."

"The best." James said honestly. "He saved my life cause he was too damn stubborn to give up."

Steve huffed a laugh and approached to sling an arm around his shoulders. "C'mon pal. Let's go talk to Dr. Strange."


She was increasingly certain that she was not alone.

It felt like a ghost lingered in her peripheral vision, but when she turned her head, there was no one there. At first this made her feel panicked like a small hunted creature being stalked by a predator. She ran until her lungs burned and her legs gave out.

She couldn't remember why.

There was a boy with large brown eyes full of tears. He'd known her name.

Wanda. She reminded herself desperately. My name is Wanda.

She remembered her name on someone else's lips. A low voice. A glint of metal.

She was so tired.

I want my brother.

She remembered saying that too, her small child's voice shaking.

Brother.

Where was her brother?

She'd come to a stop again, standing in the darkness, breathing hard.

"Brat, kde si? [Brother, where are you?]"

Wanda, zobuď sa. [Wanda, wake up]

Something terrible had happened. She was certain of it, but when she tried to pull the memory up, it dissolved into wisps of smoke.

She closed her eyes and sank to the ground, laying her head down. She shivered. It was cold here. She wanted to go home. Where was home?

She must have fallen asleep because she slowly realized there was a hand in her hair, stroking gently. She turned her head up and opened her eyes to meet glowing red ones. Her breath caught as she stared at the strange red eyes.

Do not be afraid. The low voice seemed to echo inside her mind. I will protect you, my child.

She should be afraid, but she wasn't. Warmth seeped into her skin and the hands stroking her hair were so gentle.

"Mama?" She murmured wearily.

Hush, my child. Rest.


"Dr. Strange." James said as soon as he entered the conference room. "Take me with you."

Dr. Strange looked up from the text he was studying, his eyebrows rising. Beside him Wong stared, his expression hard to read. Romanoff was leaning against the glass wall, her eyes darting quickly between Steve and James like she was reading the unseen subtext. Sam was gaping at him open-mouthed and Tony was lounging in his chair with his feet propped up on the table watching from behind a steaming mug of coffee.

"She pulled me into her head before." James continued doggedly. "If I'm with you, maybe she won't see you as a threat."

Strange studied him, looking thoughtful.

"Bucky, this seems like a bad-" Sam tried to say.

"I was stuck in her head with her for six days." James interrupted. "I'm the only one who's been in there before."

"It's definitely not going to be the same." Romanoff said quietly.

"I can do this." James kept his gaze locked with Strange.

"I think it might work." Steve said from his side, his voice ringing with confidence.

James watched everyone's eyes dart to Steve, variations of surprise on their faces.

"If anyone can get Wanda back, it's Bucky." Steve said firmly. "She trusts him and like he said, he's been there before. They went through a lot in there together. That's gotta mean something."

Strange steepled his hands together. "And what, pray tell, should I do if I am forced to choose between saving Wanda and saving you, Mr. Barnes?"

"Save Wanda." James said immediately.

"Bucky." Sam said fiercely.

"I believe we can trust Dr. Strange to make the right choice." Steve said quickly.

Tony made a scoffing sound that everyone ignored.

"Alright." Strange said.

Everyone fell silent again.

"Alright." The Sorcerer Supreme repeated impatiently. "Let's go. We shouldn't waste any more time."

Wong and Strange set up on either side of Wanda's bed. James stood at Strange's side between the sorcerer and Wanda. Everyone was keeping a tense eye on her, but so far the Scarlet Witch was staying dormant. Wong and Strange cast a strange glowing circle of symbols that flowed between the two men with Wanda in the center. James didn't understand half of what they said, but he did understand that Wong was going to be their anchor. As the two men set up the spell with a series of complicated hand motions and muttered chants, it made James realize how different Wanda's magic was. Wong and Strange might study magic, but Wanda was magic. Her magic lived and breathed with her. She didn't cast spells so much as she just willed her magic to obey. He wondered if that was common for witches or if she really was something completely separate from all of them.

"Mr. Barnes."

He jolted back from his thoughts to see Strange holding out his hand. He took a breath and seized the man's hand. His eyes met Steve's, and he could see the worry mingled with hope in his best friend's expression. Then a jolt like electricity went through him, setting his teeth on edge, and he had the unpleasant sensation of falling as the room dropped away.


She woke to the sound of birds chirping.

Sleepily she rolled over to see she was laying in a bed in a small room. The walls were painted a pale green and a gauzy canopy hung over her bed. Slowly she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and focused her gaze on a silhouette standing across the room in front of a window framed in floral curtains.

The person turned around, almost as though they felt her gaze fall on them. She squinted, trying to see their face. They began to stride towards her and when their face finally came into focus, she gasped.

"Pietro!"

She slid out of the bed and crashed into her brother's arms. He felt warm and solid as his arms encircled her tightly.

"Také dramatické [So dramatic.]" He teased. "Mal si zlý sen? [Did you have a bad dream?]"

She must have. It was the only explanation she could come up with for the tears that were suddenly dampening his shirt. He realized she was crying and pulled back, concern replacing his teasing smirk.

"Wanda, si v poriadku? [Wanda, are you ok?]."

"Bol to...bol to hrozný sen. [It was…it was a terrible dream.]" She sobbed. "Bol si preč. [You were gone.]"

He pulled her back into a tight hug and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Je to v poriadku. Teraz si hore. Som tu. [It's ok. You're awake now. I'm here.]"

Wanda cried into his shoulder for a long time. The horror and pain still lingered, but finally she was able to push it down and gain some control over her wild emotions. He was here. He was ok. It had just been a bad dream.

"Si hladný? Mama urobila kašu. [Are you hungry? Mama made porridge]"

"Mama?" Wanda repeated shakily.

Pietro gave her a strange look. "Si si istý, že sa máš dobre? [Are you sure you're ok?]"

"Prepáč. Stále sa snažím zbaviť sa tejto nočnej mory. [Sorry. I'm still trying to shake off this nightmare]"

He grinned and ruffled her hair. "Vieš, otec vždy hovorí, že kaša lieči všetko. [You know Dad always says porridge cures everything.]"

She followed him down the stairs. The house was small and cozy. Out the windows she could see green fields and trees. The country home they had always dreamed of while crammed into their small, dingy apartment. For some reason it made tears come to her eyes again. Pietro took the stairs two at a time and bounded into the kitchen.

"Mamička! Wanda je hore! Opäť mala nočnú moru. [Mama! Wanda is awake! She had another nightmare.]"

Wanda rounded the corner and walked into a cheerful yellow kitchen. Her mother stood at the sink, soapy suds on her hands. She had half turned in order to smile at Wanda.

"Si v poriadku, miláčik? [Are you ok, darling?]"

Wanda didn't trust herself to speak, so instead crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. She smelled like home. It made Wanda's eyes well up with tears again. Mama wiped her soapy hands on her apron and then pulled her close, murmuring comforting things.

"Chceš sa o tom porozprávať, láska? [Do you want to talk about it, my love?]"

"Veľa si nepamätám. [I don't remember much]" Wanda answered honestly. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It felt like she was forgetting something important, but the horror that still lingered made her afraid to look too closely.

"Dáte si kašu? Máme čerstvé jahody, ktoré ste včera nazbierali. [Would you like some porridge? We have the fresh strawberries you picked yesterday.]"

Wanda nodded and allowed herself to be ushered to the simple wooden table on the other end of the kitchen. It was tucked into a little nook that was surrounded by windows. The sun shining in was warm on her skin and the small breeze drifting in the open windows smelled like fresh flowers.

Mama placed a small bowl of porridge topped with fresh strawberries in front of her. The smell made her mouth water. As she ate, Pietro moved around the kitchen, talking a mile a minute and constantly getting in the way. Mama listened patiently and looked only slightly exasperated as she shooed him away from the cabinet she was trying to get into for the hundredth time.

"Kde je Otec? [Where is Dad?]" Wanda asked between bites.

"Už je v teréne. [He's in the field already]." Mama said, shaking her head fondly. "Cez víkend chce priniesť na trh ďalšie kvety. [He wants to bring more flowers to the market this weekend.]"

"Už ste skončili? Chcem sa ísť kúpať do rybníka! [Are you done yet? I want to go swimming in the pond!]" Pietro whined, slumping into the chair beside Wanda.

Wanda rolled her eyes and began to answer, but the entire room suddenly shuddered. The dishes in the cupboard rattled and dust fell from the ceiling as cracks snaked up the walls. Pietro lunged for her and yanked her out of the chair towards the wall of windows. Both of them stared at the golden circle of light that had appeared in the middle of the kitchen. As suddenly as it came, the light faded, leaving two strange men standing in the middle of the kitchen. Pietro's grip on her arm tightened. Wanda looked beyond the men for her mother, but she had vanished. Panic swirled in her stomach.

"Wanda."

She met the gaze of the one who spoke. His brown hair was long, reaching his shoulders. His eyes were a dark blue gray and fixed on her with an intensity that was frightening.

"Wanda, we're friends." He spoke English in an American accent. "We mean you no harm."

Pietro shoved her behind him and stepped forward with that familiar swagger. "Who are you and what do you want with my sister?"

"We just want to talk." The other man said, slightly stiffly.

"Then talk." Pietro said, crossing his arms.

Wanda watched them over Pietro's shoulder, her eyes darting between the two men. The one with the long hair was still staring at her and her gaze kept drawing to him like a magnet. She had no idea who they were, but her heart was pounding in her chest.

"My name is Dr. Stephen Strange." The other man had dark hair with streaks of gray and was wearing a long red cape that fluttered around him unnaturally.

The other man hesitated for a moment, then spoke. "I'm James."

Wanda met his gaze again, not understanding the strange expression of pain that seemed to flash through his eyes.

"We need to speak with you, Wanda." Dr. Strange said.

"You can speak right here." Pietro said stubbornly.

Dr. Strange looked irritated, but he didn't argue. "Fine. Wanda, this isn't real. This is a projection you've created in your mind. Do you remember James?"

Wanda stared at him, her mouth slightly agape, but Pietro beat her to it.

"The hell do you mean this isn't real?" He snapped. "You just came into our house-"

"Wanda." James interrupted. "We need you to wake up."

"I am awake." Wanda said defensively.

"No you're not. You created a labyrinth in your mind to escape a witch named Agatha Harkness." Dr. Strange continued in a clipped tone. "But you're safe now. Agatha is no longer a threat and we need you to come back. None of this is real."

James turned to glare at the other man before turning his gaze back to Wanda. "Sorry." He said with a slight grin that looked strained. "He's an asshole, but he's right."

"A witch?" Wanda repeated, feeling slightly dazed.

"You are also a witch, a very powerful one." Dr. Strange said, seemingly attempting to soften his tone. "You were captured by Hydra and they attempted to brainwash you into working for them. You created all of this to escape."

Wanda took a small step forward and laced her hand through her brothers. His fingers tightened around hers, feeling solid and real. "What about Pietro?"

Both men looked slightly pained.

"He's not real, sweetheart." James said softly. "Your brother died in Sokovia helping the Avengers save the world."

Wanda gripped Pietro's hand so tightly it must have hurt. Her brother glanced down at her, his eyes wide. She could see the fear she felt reflected there.

"No." She said, her voice shaking. "I'm not leaving him."

James took a step forward and both of them tensed. He stopped, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Wanda, I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you all the time in the world to remember that you can trust us, but your life is in danger. The longer you stay here, the more likely it is that you get stuck here forever."

"Why would that be so terrible?" Wanda snapped shakily. "My family is here."

"Yes, but they aren't actually here. Your family is dead, and these are just the ghosts of memories. Meanwhile, in reality there are actual living people who love you and are trying to save your life." Dr. Strange said bluntly.

Wanda felt every word like it was a knife to her heart. Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn't help glancing up at Pietro to see him looking down at her.

"To nie je pravda. [It's not true]" He said hoarsely, his own eyes glimmering.

"Wanda, prisahám, že hovoríme pravdu. [Wanda, I swear we're telling the truth.]" James said in Slovak, his voice rough with emotion. "Si naša rodina a máme ťa radi. Steve a Sam a Clint a Scott a Natasha. Dokonca aj Tony Stark sa snaží pomôcť. [You are our family and we love you. Steve and Sam and Clint and Scott and Natasha. Even Tony Stark is trying to help.]"

"Prestaň. [Stop.]" Pietro snapped.

"Využi svoje sily a nahliadni do mojej hlavy. Uvidíš, že hovorím pravdu. [Use your powers and look inside my head. You will see that I am telling the truth.]"

Wanda stared at him in the silence. Powers? Did he expect her to read his mind somehow? Dr. Strange had called her a witch. Maybe they were mistaken. Maybe they had the wrong person. She didn't recognize any of the names James had just rattled off.

"I'm not a witch." She said out loud, trying to sound confident. "I don't have powers."

"We are running out of time." Dr. Strange said, but he was looking at James.

James closed his eyes, looking tortured. Pietro's hand tightened on Wanda's as fear spiked in her chest.

"Wanda, neopúšťaj ma. [Wanda, don't leave me.]" Pietro whispered.

Before she could answer, a golden string whipped out from Dr. Strange's hand. It wrapped around Wanda's waist like a sentient lasso. Wanda gasped in terror and tried to leap backwards, but then Dr. Strange pulled, yanking her towards the two men. She tried to hold onto Pietro's hand, but her fingers slipped.

"No!" She screamed, reaching for her brother.

Pietro was stumbling towards them, reaching for her, his eyes wide with fear. But then a hand gripped her arm tightly and everything was swallowed by golden light.


James pulled Wanda tightly against his chest as they fell. He could tell she was still screaming for Pietro, even though he couldn't hear her. His heart felt like it was being slowly and painfully crushed. When the world rushed back to them, he looked for Steve and then a new burst of adrenaline spiked through his veins.

They weren't back at the compound.

"What the fuck." He growled, wrapping both arms around Wanda protectively and half turning to shield her from Strange.

They were in a garden that seemed to stretch into infinity. There was nothing but fields of flowers as far as he could see. As he scanned the area, he noticed that in the distance, light seemed to ripple. Wanda seemed to be frozen in his arms, breathing fast and panicky.

"Where the fuck are we?" He snapped, turning to Strange.

The Sorcerer Supreme at least had the dignity to look slightly guilty. "I'm sorry, but we couldn't bring her back yet. This is the mirror dimension, it's a safe place for-"

The force of the explosion threw both of them backwards. James landed on his back in the flowers, sliding a short distance before he was able to scramble to his feet. His clothes on his chest and arms were singed, but he wasn't hurt. Wanda stood in front of them, red flames quickly devouring the plants around her. She turned her head towards James and his heart rate picked up at the sight of her eyes glowing red and furious.

"Take me back!" She snarled.

"And that is why we didn't go straight to the compound." Strange said dryly, getting to his feet, his hands glowing with orange spheres.

"Take. Me. Back." Wanda screamed at them.

The very ground seemed to ripple with the force of her anger. Strange was watching her closely.

"Wanda, we can't bring you back." Strange said calmly. "If we did, you would die."

Wanda let out a furious shriek and threw bolts of red energy at him. Strange immediately brought up the orange circles around his hands like a shield and Wanda's power crashed into them and was deflected away. Wanda spun, flinging more at the Sorcerer, but he deflected them all. James stood, frozen and tense, unable to do anything but watch. A stray bolt of power nearly hit him and he had to dive out of the way, landing hard on his stomach. Strange glanced at him and then freed one hand to open a portal directly below where James lay. James barely had time to glare at Strange as the ground disappeared from beneath him.

He crashed into the floor with a painful thud and immediately scrambled to his feet.

"Buck!" Steve was there, grabbing his arm.

James frantically scanned the room, but the portal was gone. He swore fiercely.

"What happened?" Sam snapped. "Where's Strange and Wanda?"

James looked at the bed and his heart dropped to see it was empty.

"He took her to something called the mirror dimension." He turned and locked eyes with Wong who was standing quietly watching them.

In a few furious strides he had Wong pinned against the wall. The man's eyes met his angry gaze calmly and he had the uncomfortable feeling that Wong was only pinned because he was allowing James to do so.

"What the fuck is going on!?" He snarled in the man's face.

"The mirror dimension is a parallel dimension. The real world is not affected by what happens there. We use it to train, surveil, and sometimes to contain threats." Wong said steadily.

"Wanda is not a threat!" Sam said loudly from somewhere behind James.

"Isn't she?" Wong asked, his eyes on James. "How did she react to being forcibly removed from her own mind?"

James growled furiously, but released Wong, turning back to the others. He was still furious about being blindsided, but goddamn it, Wong and Strange were right. Wanda would have done some more serious damage to the compound.

"Buck, what happened?" Steve asked, grabbing his arm.

"She doesn't remember." James said, feeling absolutely fucking wrecked. "She didn't want to leave. She was with her family in a little cottage. They were happy. We tried to explain, but she didn't believe us. Pietro was begging her not to leave."

"It wasn't really Pietro though." Sam said gently.

"Yeah, it was an extension of her." James snapped. "Doesn't make it any better."

"So she lost her family again." Romanoff said quietly.

"Fuck." Tony muttered.

"What happened here?" James asked, his eyes going to the empty bed again.

"She opened her eyes and then she was just gone. " Sam said, glaring at Wong.

"Strange will bring her back when it is safe for him to do so." Wong said, his tone slightly more gentle.

" You and Strange should have told us the whole plan." Tony snapped, jabbing a finger into Wong's chest.

"This was a contingency plan." Wong said, gently, but firmly pushing Tony's finger away. "To be used only if Strange deemed it unsafe to bring Wanda here immediately."

"No, Tony's right." Steve said, crossing his arms and fixing Wong with a hard look. "We can't work together if we don't know the whole plan. That's not how a team works. You can't just blindside us with a secret contingency."

Wong eyed Steve for a moment, and then gave a brief nod. "I apologize. You are correct."

"So what, now we just hurry up and wait some more?" Tony muttered.

"There is nothing to do but wait." Wong confirmed.

James sat heavily in one of the lounge chairs in Wanda's room and glared out the window. It seemed like Strange could hold his own against Wanda, but he hoped darkly that she kicked his ass at least a little.


Wanda leaned heavily on her knees, panting. Several paces away Dr. Strange stood quietly watching, also breathing hard. He had a gash on his arm and his cheek was bleeding, but he was otherwise unharmed. He hadn't attacked even once, so she wasn't injured. All he'd done was shield himself from her attacks. It had infuriated her even more and she'd spent all of her energy trying to get past his shields.

Even as she had fought, a part of her mind still reeled from the knowledge that she had powers.

She had no idea how to describe how strange it felt to use her powers. It was so familiar and so foreign at the same time. It was like a muscle memory that she didn't know she had. How had she forgotten?

What else had she forgotten?

"You feel like talking yet?" Dr. Strange called.

She threw another bolt of energy at him, but it was half-hearted at best. She was exhausted. She didn't even bother to look to see if it hit him because she knew he deflected it once again.

"Sorry, I meant talking with words."

He sounded almost amused, and it made her angrier. How dare he forcibly drag her here and then decide he wanted to talk.

"I don't want to talk to you." She bit out. "I want to go home."

"You do have a home, but it's not that little cottage in the country."

She stiffened, glaring at him. The pain in her chest felt like it was going to break her.

"I'm sorry." He added, more gently than anything else he'd said so far. "For taking you away from your family."

Wanda half turned away from him, hoping he didn't see the tears that flooded her eyes. It was so unfair. She didn't understand why they had to drag her to this reality. If they really knew her, wouldn't they know she wouldn't want to live somewhere where all of her family was dead?

"James was right though." Dr. Strange continued. "You do have a family here, and they were willing to do anything to save you."

Wanda sniffled, desperately trying to reign in her emotions. "I didn't need to be saved."

Dr. Strange was quiet for a moment, and then she heard him moving cautiously closer. She tensed as he slowly came into view, eyeing him warily.

"I used to be a neurosurgeon." He said quietly. "I took the hippocratic oath. And even though my hands have made me no longer able to be a surgeon," He held his hands out flat and she noticed how they trembled. "I consider myself still bound to preserve health and life." He fixed her with a solemn look. "I won't apologize for doing whatever I could to save your life."

Wanda looked away, staring at the never-ending field of flowers. Now that the adrenaline and the rage were dying, she felt horribly numb.

"I think," Dr. Strange said softly. "it might be worth considering that you lived in this world and despite losing your family, you stayed. There must be something worth living for here."

The memory of how James had shielded her in his arms flashed through her mind and she frowned. She didn't even know him.

But if they were right she had, hadn't she? He'd called her sweetheart earlier.

She pressed her fingers to her temple where a dull pain was throbbing into existence. It felt like she was suddenly becoming aware of her body and how it hurt. Her ribs especially ached. She felt a strange sensation in her left hand and quickly held it up. Her entire left hand was heavily bandaged and her fingers were taped together. She frowned.

"You also have about ten staples in your head, rather sloppily done I might add. Stark should really re-evaluate his medical team." Dr. Strange said, examining her in a very clinical way. "Your neck is also bandaged, but I do not know the nature of that injury."

Wanda dropped her right hand to feel the bandage around her neck. The sensation tickled a memory, but when she tried to focus on it, it vanished. As she glanced down at her body, she realized she was wearing a loose cream colored nightgown with small blue flowers printed on it. She stared at it blankly. It looked like something from a hospital.

"What happened to me?" She asked hoarsely.

"Hydra happened." Dr. Strange said, a note of anger in his voice that made her glance at him. "Are you ready to go back? I'm sure your friends will explain everything."

"Are you not my friend?" She asked numbly.

Dr. Strange looked surprised. "Well, this is the first time I've officially met you." He finally said with a wry smile. "But I definitely do not consider you an enemy."

"Oh." Wanda said.

"Shall we?" Strange asked, holding one hand out like he was about to reach out and open an invisible door.

Wanda felt her stomach suddenly drop. She couldn't remember the names that James had said, but there had been many of them. Was she about to walk into a group of people she didn't know? People who allegedly knew her well? Still, she didn't really have any other options. It wasn't like she could stay in this flower field for the rest of her life.

She gave a short nod, and Dr. Strange spun his hand in a circle, creating a circular outline of spitting orange sparks. She could see a room appear in the hole and felt her mouth drop open slightly. Dr. Strange stepped through the doorway and held out a hand towards her. She took a deep breath and took it, stepping carefully through.

There were a lot of people in the room. It was a bedroom, painted gray with a big, comfortable looking bed. James was sitting in a chair by the window and again like a magnet she found his gaze first. He didn't get up, but he was scanning her closely, his mouth set in a grim line. She looked away and around the room, feeling anxious. There was a man wearing glasses in the corner, lounging in a chair with his feet propped up. A stunningly beautiful red-haired woman was standing alongside the wall and beside her were two men who were beaming at her in a way that made her want to shrink back behind Dr. Strange. He'd dropped her hand as soon as she'd stepped into the room and she felt an almost childish urge to grab his hand again for comfort.

"Hello Wanda." The man who spoke had blond hair and broad shoulders. He was smiling with his whole face, his eyes bright. "I'm Steve. Steve Rogers."

The black man next to him grinned. "Hey Wanda. Sorry we're kinda ambushing you. I'm Sam Wilson.

"I'm Natasha Romanoff." The woman said with a slight smile, but she seemed more guarded than Steve and Sam.

The other man in the corner was fiddling with something in his hands. "And I'm Tony Stark." He said, with an emotion that Wanda didn't understand.

Wanda stood awkwardly staring at them. She had no idea what to do. Did they expect her to thank them for ripping her away from her family? If she wasn't so exhausted and empty she'd probably scream at them like she had earlier with Dr. Strange. The anticipation in the room felt thick and suffocating.

"Where's Wong?" Dr. Strange asked, breaking the silence.

"He had an emergency birthday party to get to." Tony Stark said.

Dr. Strange heaved an irritated sigh. "I thought we would be past the birthday party jokes by now."

"We'll be past them when you stop leaving the rest of the team out of important contingency plans." Tony shot back, finally looking up to glare at him.

"Ah." Dr. Strange said dryly. "I see. Well, I guess I'll leave you all to it then."

Wanda felt a stab of panic, which was ridiculous. She didn't know Dr. Strange any more than she knew the rest of them.

"I'll be back tomorrow to check on you, Wanda." Dr. Strange said, giving her a smile.

She tried to curl her lips up into an answering smile, but she wasn't sure she succeeded. Dr. Strange created another portal and stepped through it without looking back. It vanished with a soft snapping noise and Wanda found herself alone with the strangers who were supposedly her family. The silence stretched on uncomfortably.

"Um, you guys hungry?" Steve blurted out.

"Starving." Sam said immediately.

Wanda remembered the taste of her mother's rich porridge and the sweet strawberries and felt her eyes well up again.

"Can you believe I haven't found a good shawarma place up here yet?" Tony grumbled from the corner.

"Don't pretend you haven't had shawarma flown up here from the city." Natasha teased.

"Well obviously I'm not gonna let the headquarters move keep me from supporting Majdi." Tony said, sounding offended.

"Wanda, are you hungry?" Sam asked.

Not trusting herself to speak, she shook her head. Sam frowned and glanced at the others like they were all silently communicating.

"How about we go order some food and we can bring some up to Wanda just in case she gets hungry." Tony suggested.

"I'll hang out up here." James said from his spot in the chair.

"Let us know if you need anything, Wanda." Natasha said kindly.

The four of them filed out of the room. For a moment Wanda was afraid Steve was about to hug her, but he just awkwardly filed past. The silence was nice, but she was hyper aware of James still sitting in the chair. Slowly she moved in the opposite direction, glancing around the room. She didn't recognize anything, and it was an unsettling feeling. To be fair, there wasn't much in this room to remember. There was a guitar in the corner. She wondered if she played. A tv that made her brain tickle again, but no memory solidified. There were a few knicknacks on the windowsill, one was a framed picture of a little boy. She picked that one up, staring at it. The face of a different little boy flashed through her mind with tear-stained brown eyes. She didn't know who that was, so she blinked, focusing on the one in the picture frame. He had dark hair and dark blue eyes. He was smiling up at the camera, his face crinkled with mischief.

"Pietro." She whispered out loud.

Something cracked in her chest. She tried to swallow the sob, but it came out in a choked gasp. James silently appeared at her side and she jumped.

"Sorry." He said, his eyes pained. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Wanda clutched the picture frame tightly to her chest and stared at him, trying to pretend that big fat tears weren't rolling down her cheeks.

"Is it ok if I give you a hug?" He asked softly.

She wasn't sure, but she felt so lost, like a ship without an anchor. She gave him a small nod. He studied her for a moment, but then slowly stepped forward and wrapped his arms loosely around her. He was wearing a light jacket over a t-shirt, but she could feel something off about one of his arms. It felt hard, like a prosthetic. She stood stiffly for a few moments, but then it was like her body slowly melted into him. She was still clutching the picture frame to her chest, but she let her body lean forward into his, her forehead pressing into his chest. He smelled good. Something warm and slightly spicy and kind of metallic? His arms tightened slightly around her.

"Je mi to tak ľúto, Wanda. [I'm so sorry, Wanda.] " He said quietly in Slovak.

They stayed like that for a while. Wanda focused on breathing and the feel of the cool metal picture frame in her hands. Her thoughts felt like birds crashing into a glass window. As her tears slowly dried up, that numbness enveloped her again. When Wanda pulled away James immediately released her, stepped back, and gave her a slight crooked smile.

"Do you, uh, have any questions?" He asked hesitantly after a slightly awkward pause.

Wanda had about a million questions, but no idea where to even start. He must have seen her uncertainty because his gaze softened. He raised his hand and pointed to the nightstand.

"Uh, there's a little notebook in that drawer. I stashed it there cause mine was getting full, but you can have it. Sometimes it helps me to write stuff down when I think of it and ask questions later."

She managed to twitch her lips up slightly to show her thanks. He studied her face with an intensity that made her heart beat faster. She wasn't sure if it was in a good way or bad, but either way it was overwhelming. Her eyes darted to a door behind him that was slightly open just enough to show white tile on the floor.

"Oh, yeah, you have your own bathroom." James said, noticing where she was looking and stepping out of the way. "It's just right through there."

She nodded silently at him and escaped quickly into the bathroom. She shut the door and locked it and realized she was still clumsily clutching the picture frame to her chest with her bandaged hand. She fumbled for the light switch and turned on the light before moving to set the picture frame on the counter. She must not have placed it far enough onto the counter, however, because as soon as she let go it tipped off and crashed to the floor.

"Wanda!?" James called urgently at the door.

"I'm ok." She said immediately, her voice hoarse. "Sorry I just dropped something."

"Ok." He replied and she heard him move away from the door.

Carefully she bent down and picked up the picture frame. The glass had broken into three large pieces, but the photo itself wasn't damaged. She carefully set the frame and the broken pieces of glass on the counter. Then she took a breath and looked in the mirror. Her eyes widened in surprise. Her hair was short, reaching only her shoulders, and brown. Dark brown like Mama's. She pushed aside her hair to see the ugly gash on her temple. It made her feel slightly queasy, and she quickly dropped her hair back down to cover it. Her neck was indeed bandaged, and she wondered why. Unraveling the bandage was tricky with only one fully working hand, but she managed. When the cloth finally came off, she stared wide eyed at the wound. It looked horrible-

She was standing in a lavish bathroom, staring at her reflection in an ornate gold mirror that stood at least eight feet tall.

She blinked and the vision faded abruptly. Was that a memory? Cautiously she tried to focus on it. She could see that beautiful bathroom, her reflection gingerly raising a hand to her neck where the same dark bruises and burns and open wounds marred her skin. She remembered shuddering and wondering what had happened to her.

Panic began to cut through the numbness. Had this happened before?

How many times had she lost her memories?

Was this actually real?

"Prepáč, zajačik. Hydra už nikdy nedovolí, aby vám niekto ublížil. [I'm sorry, little rabbit. Hydra will never let anyone hurt you again.]"

She took several steps backwards, like she might escape the words echoing in her head. James had said that. James. James was with Hydra? She couldn't remember who Hydra was, but she couldn't ignore the almost instinctual fear that was sweeping over her. Hydra had hurt her, didn't Strange say that? She glanced down at her shaking hands. She tried to close her eyes and calm her thoughts, desperately searching for another memory, but nothing came.

The panic was starting to make it hard to breathe now. She hunched over the counter and squeezed her eyes shut. What was real? She felt so….empty. She had nothing but a few fragments of memory and the haunting image of being ripped away from her brother. If they were lying to her, she would have no way of figuring it out. She had no one to turn to, no one that she knew she could trust.

"Miss Maximoff, I am detecting that your heart rate and respirations are high. Do you need assistance?"

Wanda jumped, looking wildly around the room as she gasped for breath. There was no one else in the room, but she'd heard the lilting voice as clearly as if someone had been standing right next to her.

"I apologize, Miss Maximoff. I am F.R.I.D.A.Y., an artificial intelligence programmed by Tony Stark."

They were watching her? Even in the bathroom? She scanned the ceiling for any visible cameras, but saw none.

"Would you like me to alert Mr. Stark?" The voice asked.

"No." She gasped immediately.

"Alright." The voice sounded almost disappointed with her answer. "But if your vitals rise any higher, I will defer to emergency protocol and alert Mr. Stark."

Wanda tried to get a grip on her breathing. Calm down. Calm down. She turned on the cold water and splashed some on her face. The shock of it helped a little. She glared at her reflection, still fighting her own lungs. Calm down. Calm down before the robot alerts everyone!

She glanced at the broken picture frame and her frantic thoughts seemed to go still. She reached out and grasped a broken piece of the glass, holding it in her good hand so the unbroken side rested against her palm. She turned her bandaged hand, exposing her wrist, and watched strangely detached as she drew the sharp broken glass across her skin in a quick motion. Blood immediately welled up and the cut stung, but her lungs relaxed slightly. Numbly she did it again. She did it several more times before she stared at her sliced up wrist and realized slowly that she wouldn't be able to hide it from the others. The nightgown had short sleeves and there was nothing in the bathroom to cover her arms.

Great. You kept the robot from telling everyone by making something even more hard to hide.

The momentary calm the cutting had given her seemed to evaporate.

"Miss Maximoff." F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice was a warning as she gasped for air.

Wanda brought the glass down harder on her wrist, and this time blood spurted aggressively from the wound. Wanda's eyes widened and she instinctively dropped the glass to cover the wound with her good hand. Blood welled up between her fingers and began to drip from her wrist to the floor as she stared in numb horror. More blood began to soak into the bandage on her hand, red creeping up the fabric.

She heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. saying something, but there was a dull roar drowning out all sound. She wasn't sure how long she stood there staring at the bloody puddle forming on the floor, but suddenly the door exploded.

She leapt backwards, cracking her head against the wall, and stared terrified at the glowing face of Iron Man. The faceplate seemed to dissolve and Tony Stark's face came into view. His lips were moving like he was shouting. He strode into the room, each heavy step of the suit reverberating through the floor. The suit peeled back, revealing his human hands. He grabbed a towel and snatched her hand away from the wound before pressing the towel firmly against it and holding it there, his hand wrapped tightly around her wrist. The pristine white towel quickly began to turn red. She looked up from her wrist to see his face and wide brown eyes fixed on her.

"-be ok, Wanda. It's gonna be ok." She realized he was saying gently, his voice a strange contrast to the fear in his eyes.

There appeared to be a commotion happening behind him in the other room, but she just stared into Tony Stark's brown eyes, trying to remember where she had seen them before. She remembered feeling dizzy and then there was nothing.


He was staring up at a stage surrounded in purple light, his heart in his throat. Werner was standing too close to Wanda and looking at her in a way that made him want to rip the man to pieces. Despite Werner standing so close, Wanda's wide eyes were fixed on him. He desperately wished he could hear her voice in his head, but whatever the woman had done, Wanda was clearly unable to use her powers. There was so much emotion in her wide brown eyes, fear, desperation, longing, strength, and fury.

"Werner. What do you want?" He heard Steve ask again.

"I have what I want." Werner met James' eyes for a brief moment and smiled cruelly.

He knew, James realized in horror. Somehow that son of a bitch knew what Wanda meant to him, and he was using her to get to him. He felt sick. Whatever happened to Wanda, this was his fault.

"Bullshit." He snarled. "You want me, so come and get me."

Werner kept smiling at him, maintaining eye contact even as he reached up to stroke Wanda's cheek. James tracked the movement of the man's hand and saw how Wanda tried to cringe away. The fury in his head was so loud he barely heard Werner's smug words.

"Why would I want the Soviet's broken toy when I can have something so perfect?"

James' fragile control snapped and he slammed his metal fist into the forcefield. Just like with Wanda's powers, his metal hand seemed to be unaffected. He put all his strength into trying to press through the shield. The purple lights flickered and bulged inward under the weight of the vibranium fist. The surface of the forcefield seemed to thin as he pushed. Just a little more! He was almost there.

Light flashed and he snapped his gaze back up to Wanda. The woman was doing something, pulling purple light to surround Werner, the Hydra soldiers, herself, and Wanda. The fear on Wanda's face was like a knife in his ribs.

"No!" He screamed, trying to push through the shield. "Wanda! No!"

His metal arm suddenly burst through the purple shield, but at the same time Wanda and the other simply vanished. He stumbled as the purple shield disappeared, but then he was running to the stage. Sam was on the floor, his hand pressed against a bloody wound in his shoulder. He was the only one left. Steve was at Sam's side, helping him put pressure on the wound and shouting something at James, but James was staring blankly at the spot Wanda had been standing.

She was gone.

He'd failed.


Wanda woke with a start, her heart still pounding with James' adrenaline and pain. Her face felt wet. She turned her head and saw James in the chair next to her bed. He was asleep, his head lolled to the side. She followed his arm down to see that his hand was resting on the bed beside her bandaged hand, his fingertips just brushing hers. She swallowed thickly at the sight of the new bandage wrapped around her wrist.

The recent events came rushing back to her like a flood, but a soft sound had her swiveling her head around to the other side of the bed. Tony Stark was sitting in a chair, quietly sipping a steaming cup of what smelled like coffee. His eyes met hers and she shrank back slightly. He held her gaze for a moment, and she wasn't sure how to read the emotion in his eyes.

Her own emotions felt like a storm in her chest. She was embarrassed and miserable and scared and panicked and-

He stood up, setting his coffee on the small table next to his chair and approached. He perched lightly on the edge of her bed and smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Good morning, sunshine." He said in a low voice. "How you feeling?"

She didn't answer and he didn't look surprised.

"You really scared me there." He said.

She was startled to see the tears glimmering in his eyes. She wasn't sure what her relationship to Tony Stark was, but it seemed…complicated.

"I'm sorry." She found herself whispering hoarsely.

She felt James shift and glanced back at him to see he was awake and watching, those steel blue eyes full of sorrow. It made her remember the pain he'd felt watching her vanish and she dropped her gaze to her lap uncomfortably. It must have been his dream. Somehow she saw it too. She wondered if it was a memory or just a nightmare.

"Wanda." James said, his voice rough with sleep or emotion or both. "We're not mad." His fingertips lightly brushed hers and it felt like butterflies took flight in her stomach. She was so distracted by the strange feeling that she almost missed what he said next. "I shoulda paid more attention."

That made her look up again, confused. Was he blaming himself? She met his gaze, studying his eyes more closely. It did look like there was guilt there, mixed with worry and pain.

"You, uh, struggled with this before." He said hesitantly. "I shoulda been more careful."

Struggled with what? She wanted to ask. With cutting her wrists?

There must be something worth living for here. She heard Dr. Strange's words echo in her head. Had there been something worth living for here? Maybe that was all a lie. Maybe she'd never been happy.

The intensity of her own expression when she'd stared at James in his memory flashed through her mind. In that moment it certainly looked like she believed that she had something worth living for.

"Are you with Hydra?"

James looked as startled as she felt. She hadn't really planned to blurt that question out.

"No." He said, his voice pained. "I was forced to work for them for a long time, but I'm not anymore."

She tucked that information away. Trying to make it fit with the small snippet of memory she'd had come back to her.

"How'd you know about Hydra?" James asked, unsuccessfully trying to disguise the hope in his voice. "Are you remembering anything?"

"No." Wanda lied, though she wasn't entirely sure why she was lying. "Dr. Strange just said something about it."

Maybe she didn't trust him. James could be lying too. But she couldn't quite ignore the feeling that she was afraid to encourage that hope when she had remembered practically nothing.

"What did you say?!" A voice roared in the hallway and all of them jumped.

The door opened abruptly and Dr. Strange himself stormed in with Sam and Steve hot on his heels. James was out of his seat, a knife in his hand, but at the sight of the three men, he relaxed. Tony was also on his feet, his arm suddenly encased in the iron man suit, blaster on and glowing blue. He, however, did not relax at the sight of Dr. Strange.

"You know, for a doctor, your bedside manner is shit." Tony snapped.

"I trusted you all to keep her safe." Dr. Strange snapped back, standing practically toe to toe with Tony. "No one even thought to call me when Wanda tried to kill herself!?"

"I didn't-" Wanda tried weakly.

"I'm taking her back to The Sanctum Sanctorum." Dr. Strange interrupted.

"The hell you are!" Tony shouted.

"She's clearly not safe here. I can get her actual help."

"She is-" Tony started.

"You might be a genius with machines, asshole, but you have no idea how to care for someone who is mentally unstable!" Dr. Strange shouted.

"Stop it!" Wanda screamed.

Everyone stopped and looked at her. She was sitting up, breathing hard and whatever machine she was connected to was beeping warningly. She was suddenly furious and she wasn't exactly sure why. Seeing Dr. Strange yelling at Tony Stark had sparked a strange protective rage in her.

"Tony saved my life." She said fiercely to Dr. Strange, feeling extremely uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on her. "Stop yelling at him."

Dr. Strange shifted looking slightly surprised, but Tony was staring at Wanda with a startled expression.

"And I am right here so do not talk about me like I'm not in the room." She added, hoping no one noticed how her voice was beginning to shake.

James shifted slightly closer to the bed until his hip was resting against the bed frame next to where she sat. He was close enough to reach out and touch, and she was surprised by the comfort it seemed to bring her.

"Please accept my apologies." Dr. Strange finally said stiffly.

She gave a slight nod and everyone in the room seemed to relax a little bit.

"Would it be alright if I examined you?" Dr. Strange added, gesturing towards her wrist.

Wanda glanced at James to find him looking down at her. He was standing with his arms crossed, looking every bit like a protective bodyguard. She realized if she said no, she actually believed he wouldn't let Dr. Strange touch her. It made her feel weirdly wobbly inside, and she quickly looked back to Dr. Strange who was clearly waiting for her answer.

"Um, ok."

James stepped aside and Dr. Strange moved in, unwrapping her wrist with practiced, but slightly shaky movements. Wanda looked away, suddenly queasy at the idea of seeing her wrist, and met Tony's gaze again. He smiled slightly and this time it did seem to reach his eyes.

"I've got some calls to make." He said quietly. "I'll be back later."

As he strode out of the room, Steve and Sam moved to take his place on the right side of her bed.

"Hey, Wanda." Sam said warmly, pulling Tony's vacated seat up to the bed. "I'm glad to see you awake."

Sam looked calm, but Steve's expression was harder to read. He looked like he was barely containing whatever emotions he was feeling. The bandage on her wrist seemed to catch on something and she winced.

"Sorry." Dr. Strange said, slowing down his movements.

She could tell he was pulling the bandage off of the wound. It seemed to be sticking slightly and her stomach turned and it felt like all the blood left her face.

"Hey, look at me." Sam said steadily and she did, trying to contain her queasiness. "So I don't know if anyone has filled you in, but you, me, Steve, and Bucky-" He paused at her confused expression. "Sorry, that's James . Anyways, the four of us were on the run for a while. We were hiding out in Canada and we stayed with this adorable and terrifying grandma who was teaching you how to cook."

Sam continued talking about their adventures and Wanda found herself getting sucked into the stories. Steve chipped in every now and then and whatever stormy emotions he was holding back seemed to ease a little. James stayed next to Dr. Strange and appeared to be watching him work from what she could tell in her peripheral vision. She didn't even realize how good a job Sam was doing at distracting her until Dr. Strange suddenly patted her hand and announced that he was done. She looked down at her wrist to see it was neatly bandaged again.

"Well, whoever did these stitches did a better job." Dr. Strange said begrudgingly. "But make sure you're putting more petroleum jelly over the wound before you bandage it back up so it doesn't stick."

He glanced around the room and grabbed one of the decorative throw pillows off the chair James had been sitting in. Briskly, he lifted Wanda's wrist and placed it on top of the pillow.

"Keep it elevated above your heart when you're resting for the next three days. And don't get it wet for 48 hours."

"Ok." She said quietly.

Dr. Strange hesitated like he was going to say something else, but then he just nodded and strode out of the room.

"Captain, a word?" He called without even looking.

Steve got up and followed.

"I'll be right back." James said, immediately following Steve.

Wanda grimaced slightly, trying to pretend that they weren't all obviously about to have a private meeting about her.

"So." Sam said and she looked up at him to see him giving her a serious look. "I'm wondering if you can tell me a little bit about what happened last night?"

Wanda swallowed hard and dropped her gaze back down.

"I know it's hard." Sam said kindly. "But keeping all this inside just makes everything worse. I've got a background in counseling, but if you'd prefer we can probably hire a therapist for you to talk to."

Wanda squirmed slightly.

"If it helps, F.R.I.D.A.Y. gave us the rundown of what happened. I'm just trying to understand why it happened."

Wanda shot a glare at the ceiling.

"You're not in trouble, Wanda. We care about all of you. The good and the bad. We all worked on trusting each other and being vulnerable when we were in Canada together, and it made us a better team I think. I know this is a, uh, strange , situation that none of us were prepared for, but we're fumbling along as best we can. We need your help though, cause unfortunately none of the rest of us can read minds." He smiled wryly.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself." Wanda mumbled.

He just nodded and patiently waited.

"I just…" Wanda tried to keep her voice steady. "I don't know what happened. I w-was panicking…I think? And F.R.I.D.A.Y., um, scared me. And said if I didn't get my heart rate d-down, she'd tell Tony. I was just…just…trying to calm down."

"Ok." Sam said gently. "I get that."

He didn't glance at the machines she was hooked up to, but their beeping was beginning to intensify again.

"Bucky said you were crying before you went in the bathroom." He said after a moment. "He thought it was because you saw the picture of Pietro. Was that why?"

Wanda nodded, trying to swallow past the lump in her throat.

"I can't imagine how painful it was to be taken from your family." He added softly. "I'm sorry that happened."

"I know they weren't real." Wanda forced herself to say flatly before he did.

He frowned. "I don't agree with that. They were extensions of you, so they were real. Maybe they could only exist in that space in your mind, but that doesn't mean they weren't real. And the emotion and trauma of losing them sure as hell is real."

Wanda stared at her hands twisting the sheet, trying to hold back the tears. She hadn't realized how badly she needed to hear someone say her grief was valid.

"Did you break the picture frame on purpose?"

She shook her head, and then looked up at him, panicked. "Please don't throw the picture away."

He reached over and grabbed something off the nightstand and held up the picture for her to see. The frame was gone and it was slightly rumpled, but there wasn't even any blood on it. She let out a shaky breath.

"Do you feel like you would be better off dead?"

She met his gaze, startled. There was no judgment there, just quiet compassion. She struggled with herself for a moment, trying to find the words to describe how she felt.

"I don't…I don't know." She finally whispered. "I just have…I have nothing."

Her voice broke and she brought her hands up to cover her face. Moving her wrist hurt and she hadn't realized how many tubes were attached to her good hand, but the tears were pouring down her face and she desperately wanted to hide.

"Would you like a hug?" Sam asked quietly.

She thought about James offering the same thing last night. It had been nice, but she was pretty sure if anyone hugged her right now, she would completely fall apart. She shook her head.

"Ok." Sam said quietly. "I'm right here if you need anything."

She leaned back onto the pillows and curled onto her side the best she could, pulling the blanket up over her face. She tried to cry quietly, and mostly succeeded by muffling her sobs with the blanket. After she seemed to cry herself out, she just stayed there, almost half asleep in exhaustion. She probably would have fallen asleep if she didn't hear someone come in.

"She asleep?" She heard Steve ask.

"I think so." Sam answered, letting out a heavy sigh. "How's Barnes?"

"Struggling." Steve said shortly.

There was a brief silence.

"How are you? " Sam asked pointedly.

"God, Sam. I don't know." Steve said heavily. "I thought hearing about the cutting in Canada was hard, but this is…this is so much worse."

"She told me she wasn't really trying to commit suicide. Sounds like she fell back on it as a coping strategy cause she was having a panic attack."

"Do you believe her?" Steve asked tightly.

"I think that's why she started. Severing the artery though? That takes a lot of force. So I don't know. I think it's probably a both/and kinda situation."

There was a long silence in which it sounded like Steve settled into the chair by Sam.

"Was it like this with your sister?" Steve suddenly asked wearily.

"What, the constant worrying? The heartbreak of watching them go through painful shit and knowing you can't fix it?"

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"Fuck."

Wanda focused on keeping her breathing even, feeling slightly guilty for eavesdropping.

"What did Strange say?"

Steve sighed. "The stuff we already know. Don't leave her alone, get anything that could be a sharp out of the room."

"Did you tell him we already did that?"

"No cause we missed one."

"That's fair, I guess."

They both fell silent when quiet footsteps sounded in the hallway.

"Hey Nat." Steve said, sounding slightly less miserable.

"You boys need anything?" Natasha's voice came from the doorway.

"You mind checking on Tony and Bucky?" Steve asked. "They're both pretty rattled."

"I'll do that right now." Natasha said warmly.

"Thank you." Steve said softly.

Natasha's footsteps receded. There was a brief silence.

" What?" Steve asked, sounding annoyed.

"Nothin." Sam said innocently. "Just wondering how long all this sexual tension is gonna keep building."

Steve growled something at him that she couldn't quite make out and Sam laughed softly. They fell into a comfortable silence after that, and soon Wanda felt her eyelids drag shut again.


Wanda.

All of her muscles tensed.

Wanda, I can help.

She forced herself to ignore the soft voice.

You have to let me out.

She didn't know who that was, but somehow she knew that she had to suppress it.

"Nikomu to nesmieš dať vedieť. [You can't let anyone know.]" Mama's face floated hazily through her mind. Her expression unusually grave. "Musíš to ovládať, miláčik. [You have to control it, darling.]"

Wanda.

Why did it sound so sad?


AN:Oof. There is a suicide attempt in this chapter. It's heavy, but not hopeless. I am able to write this heavy stuff from my own personal experience (unfortunately), so this was hard, but also beautiful to write. If you've ever been in that place where you feel nothing and you can't think of any reasons to keep going, let me tell you that it gets better. I promise.

If you do feel those things right now and you're in the US, call 988 for free and confidential support. Or visit /

And good grief, I love you all!