The song for this chapter is again from the movie. It is written and sung by Lena, the main protagonist's love interest. In the movie, she gave this song to him in the beginning so he could listen to it and tell her if it's any good and from there on, he sometimes heard it in his mind. I just thought I'd share this little tidbit here.

We're now about halfway through the story. There is still a lot happening, and especially the next few chapters will take a bit of a dramatic turn, so I hope, you will enjoy this one, which has a lot of Shamy fluff and is definitely very much M-rated.

Thanks to everyone who is still reading, it means a lot!


As It Is In Heaven

Chapter 16 – Fly With Me (Lena's Sång)


For hours, Sheldon had been on edge. Adrenaline pumping through his veins. And a rollercoaster of emotions in his heart.

First, when Missy didn't show up to Amy's place. It had made him feel anxious and scared.

When she did come to choir practice, a bag with her necessities slung over her shoulder and two little children at her hands, he had been overjoyed. Finally, she was leaving Robbie.

He had been so grateful, when Ruth had offered to take the children to her place. And even more so, when Amy had been willing to drive them all. Missy had a support system. She and her chlidren were safe. Oh, what a relief.

And then, when the whole choir had opened up about their innermost secrets, he had felt a strange sensation. This was more than just a church choir. It was a family.

And just like in any loving family, not everyone understood the other. But they had each other's backs.

He never had liked overly emotional situations. But he had to admit, it felt good. Being part of this group of people who accepted him for who he was. Even looked up to him. Growing up in Medford, he had never felt like this outside of his family.

When Robbie showed up, he had been terrified. For Missy. For Amy and the other members. And – he had to admit that too – for himself.

Robbie was a violent man and most of the members of the choir wouldn't have stood a chance against him in a fight.

But he couldn't take them all on at once. So, when they all had formed a barrier between him and Missy, Sheldon had felt an unimaginable amount of love and respect for these people who were willing to risk their own well-being for his sister.

And at last, when his mother had shown up and put Robbie in his place, he had felt as if a giant boulder had been lifted off his shoulders.

His mother was on their side. Finally. It was then, when he knew, everything would be okay.

Mary drove Missy home and Sheldon stayed behind with Amy and the others to finalize the details of their journey to the competition that would be on the next day. Even if right now, that felt like a thing from a different lifetime.

After the rest of the choir had said their good-byes – not without wishing all of them good luck and promising all the help they would need – Sheldon got into Amy's car to drive home as well.

Still, he felt on edge. His whole body was tense. And Amy was a patient listener, as he listed all the things he had to think of now.

"Do you think, we should go get the children from Ruth? No. No, Missy could probably use a quiet night to herself. I'll call Ruth and tell her what just happened. We should file a police report now, right? Missy should get a restraining order. Oh, and we should check the yellow pages. Find the best lawyer for Missy to get out of this. Do you think she'll be okay staying with my mom? Or should we start looking for an apartment for her?"

He hardly noticed that Amy didn't give him any answers. He probably wouldn't have been able to listen to her anyway.

At last, they arrived at his mother's front door.

"Sheldon…", Amy said hesitantly and held his arm before he got out the key. "Do you really think, I should be here? This is a family matter after all."

"Of course, you should be here.", Sheldon insisted.

He wasn't sure if that was true. But he knew, he needed her there with him.

The house was almost completely dark, just faint light coming from the living room, so that's where they went.

Sheldon stopped and took in the scene in front of him.

Missy and his mother were sitting on the couch. Mary had her arms wrapped tightly around her daughter and both their sobs were filling the room.

He cleared his throat and both women looked up.

"I… I am sorry.", Amy said softly. "I think, maybe I really shouldn't be here."

"No, Amy, it's fine.", Missy answered as she wiped away her tears. "I want you here. Both of you."

Sheldon and Amy sat down next to each other on the other, smaller couch. Before he could say anything, Sheldon's phone started ringing. It was Ruth.

She told them, Ellis was already asleep and Joshua had just finished eating his cookies and was picking out the third book he wanted her to read to him. And she assured them, she was perfectly fine with keeping them over night.

Missy just nodded. Everyone agreed that this was the best decision for now. They would get the children tomorrow, once everything had settled down a little.

Sheldon, unsure what else to do, proceeded to ask practical questions.

Accommodations. How to get Missy's things from Robbie's house, with Jared's help maybe. And the children's things of course. Also, legal and financial issues.

But Missy shook her head.

It was more complicated than he had anticipated.

To his greatest displeasure, he learned that Robbie controlled all the couple's finances, including the money Missy had inherited from meemaw. Hiring a lawyer, renting an apartment, getting a moving truck – she had no idea how to afford any of it. And when Sheldon offered to pay for everything, she wouldn't have it.

"I will never be able to pay you back, Sheldon."

He tried to tell her that he did not care about getting the money back. He tried to make her understand that he wanted her not to worry, now that she had finally found the strength to leave Robbie.

But then, his eidetic memory reminded him of something.

For her when the day comes.

This was the day. It had to be.

"You have money.", he stated. "Lots of it."

He had checked with the bank. There was indeed a savings account he had access to.

Meemaw had not just saved all of the rent, but she had put money into the account herself on a regular basis.

"I cannot take this, Sheldon.", Missy whispered, tears falling down her cheeks again, after he told her about the account. "It is your house. The rent-money should be yours as well. I was horrible to meemaw. I let Robbie keep me from seeing her. I did not even visit her when she was dying."

Sheldon swallowed deeply.

Part of him wanted to tell her she was right. How could she have abandoned her grandmother in her last months? Meemaw must have missed her so much.

How could she not go say good-bye to her when she had the chance to? When he would have done anything to get this chance?

Aside from that, he was still mad at his family for not listening to meemaw. Had she not often enough proven to be right about these things?

But all of that was irrelevant now.

"She wanted to help you, Missy.", he said firmly. "It was her dying wish. Even if you feel you don't deserve it, I think she deserves us honoring her wishes. It was so important to her. Tell them, Amy."

Amy proceeded to tell them about what meemaw had said on her deathbed.

"Well, that is settled.", Mary nodded. "Your grandmother loved you very much, Missy. And she was right all this time. Unlike me, she knew you needed help. Let her help you. Robbie threatened to file for custody of your children. Now I don't think he has much of a chance, but he does have connections. Better get a good lawyer, if only to get him to back off."

Finally, Missy agreed.

"You're right.", she whispered. "I can't risk him taking the children. They wouldn't be safe with him if I'm not there."

"Did Robbie…", Mary drew in a sharp breath. "Did he hurt my grandchildren too?"

Sheldon looked down at the floor. He could still vividly remember how Joshua had been scared when he had feared, he could be mad at him.

"He hit Joshua once.", Missy confessed in a small voice. "He was angry at him because he broke a glass. But he never did it again after that… I… uhm… whenever he got angry at him again, I would do something to divert the attention from Joshi to me."

"Oh Missy…", Amy gasped. "I am so sorry you had to go through that."

"I am so stupid.", Missy sobbed. "I should have left ages ago. But Robbie kept threatening what he would do if I ever left him. And then I thought maybe if I just tried harder. If I could just be a better wife, maybe he wouldn't get mad at me anymore. I just wanted my children to have a good life."

"And they will have a good life.", Mary insisted. "You are an excellent mother. And you won't be alone. I will be here whenever you need me."

Mary pulled Missy into her arms again, and Sheldon took this as his cue to leave.

"Can I spend the evening at your place?", he asked Amy. "I think the two of them need some time alone."

"Uhm… sure.", Amy nodded after a pause.

He studied her curiously. He had spent every evening at her place for many weeks. Why did she hesitate now?

Before they left, Sheldon promised Missy he would go with her in the morning, to pick up the children and plan her next steps before they would leave for the competition.

It was a cool night and the cold breeze in his face was exactly what he needed to clear his head a little on the short walk across the street.

Amy draped her purse over the couch in the living room and then went to the kitchen to prepare tea and Sheldon, not sure what else to do with himself, sat down at the little piano.

For months, he had put so much time, energy and focus into getting Missy away from Robbie. It had been one of the reasons why he had joined the choir in the first place. And it had been almost the sole reason for entering the competition and putting all this hard work into it.

Finally, it was all over, and he felt all the adrenaline, the rage, the desperation leave his body and make room for something else.

He couldn't stop a huge grin forming on his face.

And when he saw Amy enter the room, his heart fluttered in his chest.

This woman had been by his side for six months, listening to his worries and helping his family, even after they had treated her so disrespectfully.

And more than that. She was a source of light and laughter and trust. She challenged him with her beautiful brain. And she had brought back the joy into his life that had been so miserable for such a long time.

"Someone looks happy.", she stated as she sat down next to him after placing the tea mugs, she had been carrying, on the coffee table. "Which is not surprising.", she added, smiling at him. "You did it, Sheldon. You helped Missy find the strength to do this. Your sister is safe. You really did it."

"No.", he shook his head. "We did it, Amy. None of this would have been possible without your support."

She bit her lip, and he knew she was about to downplay her role in all of this, so he pulled her close and hugged her, before she could say anything.

"Alright.", she mumbled into his chest. "We did it. But honestly, Sheldon, I only did what any good friend would do."

Friend.

Earlier that night, he had almost told her something. Confessed his feelings to her. But after Robbie had shown up, he hadn't even thought about it anymore.

"Amy, I…", he whispered, but he did not know how to finish that sentence.

Somehow, now that they were alone at her place, the situation was so much more intimate and he found himself unable to tell her, how much more than a friend she was to him.

So, he let his eyes shift to the music sheets on the piano. There was a song, he did not recognize.

It was handwritten. But not by him.

He played a small part of the melody on the piano. It sounded very pleasant. Why had he never heard this song?

"Sheldon?", Amy whispered next to him, and he turned to her. She was looking at him expectantly, maybe waiting for him to say what he had started saying before.

"This is good.", he told her instead. "Did you write this song?"

Amy nodded.

"Well… yes. After I heard your song for Missy, somehow, I had this one stuck in my head. And I don't have much experience with this, but after watching you write music all these months, I decided to give it a try."

He looked back at the notes.

"There are no lyrics.", he said curiously.

"I did not write them down.", she said quickly.

"Why?"

"Because…", she sighed. "They are in my head. And I wasn't ready to write them down."

Did this have to do with him? It had to, right?

"Will you sing it to me?", he whispered.

She stared at him for a few moments.

"Uhm…", she swallowed. "Okay."

He got up to make room for her and stood beside her as she started singing.

It was a simple melody, and she only played the basic chords to it, but oh, when he heard her sing, it felt like his heart was singing with her.

Fly with me and take the sky.
Close your eyes and feel the wind.
You and I, we'll live to see.
When we reach the sky
You will find.

Fly away, take my hand.
Spread your wings, reach the sky.
I can make you believe.
Live is rich, rich within me.

So, fly away, hold my hand.
Feel the wind. Take the sky.
Love will find, find a way.
I believe in you.

If anyone would ask him later, how it could possibly have happened, he would have no idea how to explain it.

But in that moment, like it happened sometimes before, everything else disappeared. There was only her. Sitting in the very room he had kissed her six months ago. Singing to him. Asking him to fly with her.

And oh, he wanted to fly with her.

"Amy…", he whispered and put a hand on her shoulder.

It seemed to startle her, because her hands fell on the keys and a loud, inharmonious sound echoed through the room, but he did not care. He needed to know.

"This song… is it about me? About us?"

She turned to him briefly but looked back at the notes immediately, avoiding his gaze.

"I… uhm… Maybe.", she stuttered.

His heart was thundering in his chest, and he started to feel light-headed.

This was it. Ready or not. The moment he had been equally dreading and anticipating, it was finally here.

He took her hand and gently pulled her up from the piano chair. .

But he had no idea what to say. How to approach this. So, he just held both her hands and tried to keep his own from trembling.

"It's… uhm… a very beautiful song.", he mumbled, searching for the right words.

"Sheldon, are you alright?", she asked.

"Yes.", he answered quickly. "I'm just… a bit nervous right now."

That earned him a smile.

"Well…", she shrugged. "You're not the only one."

He nodded. So, she realized the gravity of this situation. It was a relief that she felt it too.

"Sheldon.", she almost whispered. "You were going to tell me something earlier. Am I crazy to think, it was something… related to… well… us?"

He swallowed deeply. "You're not crazy.", he admitted.

"Oh. Alright.", she started blinking rapidly. "Because… I wasn't sure. I mean, sometimes I thought, with the way you tend to hold my hand or hug me… and then there was this kiss on Christmas. But we've known each other for six months, and you never said anything, so I thought, maybe it was all in my head. Maybe you just wanted to be close friends… and… I'm sorry. I'm rambling. Today has been a lot. I really shouldn't ask you to talk about this right now."

She was starting to pull away, trying to get away from him, but he stopped her.

"I've been dreaming of you.", he blurted out.

"You… what?", she asked, biting her lip. "But… how? When?"

He sighed deeply. She would think he was crazy if he told her. But he had to.

"Every night.", he whispered. "Ever since we met. I've been dreaming of going on dates with you. Kissing you. And… having you in my bed."

"E… every night?", she asked wide-eyed. "Are you sure those dreams were about me?"

"And it hasn't just been dreams.", he added, ignoring her ridiculous question. Who else would he be dreaming of? "Lately, I have been imagining you. I would go to bed, and then there you were. I fantasized about how it would be. Not having to say goodbye to you at night. But going to bed with you. Talking to you. Holding you. And sometimes… more than that."

She just stared at him.

"Your friendship means the world to me, Amy.", he continued. "But I don't think it is enough anymore."

She took a long time to answer, and for a second he was afraid, he had misunderstood her. Had he said too much?

But then, her next words eased his mind.

"I've been dreaming of you too.", she croaked. "Of kissing you the way you told me we kissed six months ago. Of being more than we are now. Of having you in my bed and falling asleep after… after making love to you."

Making love to him.

His mouth went dry, and his knees went weak.

Maybe a few months ago, he would have run right out the door. But after everything, after his dreams and her song and the way she had been by his side all these months, the only place he wanted to run to was right into her arms.

Because she was… everything.

Maybe it was the euphoria over the events of the day. Or maybe it was the strange feeling that started when all the people of the choir had opened up their hearts to each other. He couldn't be sure. But he was sure about one thing.

Sheldon Cooper had made up his mind. And that meant, he had to act on it. Right now. No more delays.

He wrapped his arms around her lower back and pulled her close again.

She seemed to hesitate for a second, but then she put her hands on his shoulders.

"Amy… can I…", he started to ask but she had already gotten on her tip toes and pulled him down to her.

"Please.", she whispered, and he did not have to think about it twice.

Fly with me.

The first touch of their lips was short and sweet. Just long enough so he could inhale her breath and feel the softness of her mouth.

Oh, how he had missed this.

The second was sensual, yet tender as his lips lingered on hers a bit longer. He allowed his hands to wander from her back up to her shoulders, eliciting a soft sigh from her that almost made him feel dizzy.

He pulled away to search her eyes. Was she feeling the same way as he was?

There was something in the way she looked at him. Something he hadn't recognized before. Desire?

He saw her moisten her lips with the tip of her tongue, and it sparked something in him. Something he had never felt before. A storm brewing inside him. A need for something more. A hunger for her.

He kissed her a third time, almost smashing his lips against hers. She slung her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. The burning sensation in his lower belly amplified immediately and it did not take long until they were kissing ferociously.

He walked her over to the couch, almost stumbling over his own two feet. The insecurity she had shown before, seemed to have vanished, because once he sat down, she climbed onto his lap, facing him, before she attacked his mouth again.

They were completely entangled with each other. Her hands in his hair, one of his hands on her leg, the other slung around her hip, their mouths moving over each other hotly.

"Was it like this?", she breathed out between kisses. "Six months ago, when we kissed? I always regret not remembering it."

"Not exactly.", he answered, grinning cheekily. "You weren't sitting on top of me, and we both were a little less… forward."

"Oh.", she grinned. "Then I guess, this is even better. Unless you want to be… less forward?"

He chuckled in response.

He would always cherish the first kiss they had shared all these months ago and the things he had felt for the first time in his life then. But the way they were kissing right now? It was intoxicating.

And it was crazy how natural it felt to him. He, who had never wanted to experience any of this. He could hardly believe the next words that poured out of his mouth.

"I think I like it when you are being forward.", he whispered as he pulled her face close and dove in to kiss her again.

Apparently, she liked hearing that, because, unexpectedly, the next thing he felt was something wet and velvety, swiveling over his lips.

Before he could think about it, he opened his mouth and met her eagerly and he had no idea how much time passed. It was breathtaking, kissing her like that. So intimate and sensual.

His hands moved to her posterior and he could hear her gasp into his mouth.

He was about to ask her if she was okay with this, or if he was overstepping, but then he felt her soft hands on the front of his shirt. She was lifting it up and next thing he knew, she had slipped her hands inside and was caressing his belly.

He pulled away for a second and stared at her. This was… new. It was more than just kissing. And she was being much more forward than he had expected.

"I… I'm sorry. I just thought...", she stammered and removed her hands again.

He swallowed deeply, trying to make sense of the things he felt. To his own surprise, he had to admit, he enjoyed this. Her hand on his skin and the tingling feeling that came with it. So, he came to a quick decision.

Fly with me.

"It's alright.", he mumbled and swiftly removed both his shirts and threw them on the other end of the couch. He would just fold them later.

She gulped and put her hands on his belly again, just feeling his skin at first, but then her lips found his again as she explored his body, every single touch giving him goosebumps.

There was another, very short interruption, when he opened the buttons of her cardigan. An exchange of looks. His eyes carefully asking for permission. Hers uncertain at first before she nodded at him firmly.

Her blouse was next to go, and before he could even think about it, she seemed to be in a hurry to get rid of her bra.

Her chest was heaving, and his fingers were trembling. She was so beautiful.

He kissed her again, much gentler now and very carefully let his right hand run over her body, only touching her fleetingly but it was enough to make her moan lightly.

His lips moved to her cheek, and he trailed small kisses down to her neck.

"Hoooo.", she breathed out as he gently sucked on her skin, and he was a little bit proud of himself.

He had no clue of what he was doing. And he didn't give himself time to think about it. Time to analyze. Time to make a plan.

Time to ask himself if this really was a good idea. Deep inside, he guessed, the answer would have been probably no. No, this was crazy. It was all going so much faster than he ever could have imagined. And if he would pause to think about it rationally, he would probably stop this madness.

But the thing was, he did not want to stop it. He felt happy and confident and deliriously high with desire for her that had been building up inside him for the last six months.

And more importantly, she didn't seem to want him to stop either.

She seemed to like what he was doing, evidenced by the way she hummed when he touched her breast for the first time. Gently at first, but when he heard her reaction, he allowed himself to squeeze a littler rougher.

She ran her fingers over his body again in response, and it made his skin burn.

Her hands moved to his belt, and he drew in a sharp breath when she loosened it.

He pressed his forehead to hers and breathed in and out a few times.

His mind was battling his body. They had crossed so many boundaries already. And it was magnificent. But shouldn't they talk about this first?

Their eyes met again.

'Fly with me.', she seemed to urge him on again, and he knew, whatever she wanted to do to him, it would be okay. He trusted her. More than he had ever trusted anyone before.

He lifted her off his lap and removed his pants. They had been uncomfortable for a while now anyway.

He reached for the zipper of her skirt then.

Again, there was a brief moment of hesitation.

She looked at him a little unsure. Vulnerable, almost.

"We don't have to...", he whispered, but again, the look in her eyes changed to something more determined.

Fly with me.

She got up and removed the remainder of her clothes, so he too removed his underwear and his socks, although his knees felt like jelly and his head was spinning.

This was surreal. Sheldon Cooper getting naked with a woman in East Texas. Painfully aroused and ready to do unspeakable things to her.

But as soon as she sat down again, next to him this time, and reached for his shoulders to kiss him sweetly, all traces of doubt disappeared from his mind.

He was safe with her. And this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

And even though, he felt a bit clumsy, it felt so right to him. Holding her naked body to his. Exploring, caressing, kissing her all over.

Her soft hands exploring all of him.

Finally, when she touched him where he craved her the most, he could have sobbed. How could he have never known this would feel so good?

If his inexperience bothered her in any way, she definitely did not show it. On the contrary, she kept kissing him eagerly, and when he tentatively reached between her legs for the first time, she moaned into his mouth, even though he had no idea what he was doing. How to touch her.

She felt so hot and wet, he was barely able to think clearly anymore, and she ceased kissing him and buried her face in his neck. She was breathing heavily, and her body seemed to be shaking.

"Is this… okay?", he managed to ask her, as he moved his fingers over her, trying to find out how to bring her pleasure.

"Yes.", she whimpered. "Oh… Sheldon. This feels amazing."

Was she telling him the truth? Or was she was trying to be encouraging?

He had no idea, and, for a brief moment, he wished, he would have paid more attention to this book his friends wanted him to read all these years ago.

He could only stare, when she reached to the other end of the couch and started rummaging around in her purse that she had left there before.

As he realized what she was looking for, for only a split second, there was a voice in his head, asking him if they were going too fast.

But he shut that voice down.

Despite the things he had always thought about himself, they were two consenting adults in their late thirties who had just confessed to dreaming about this for the last six months.

This was okay. In his heart, he knew it was. If for no other reason than the fact it was her, it was happening with.

Still, his hand shook slightly as she ripped open the foil package and handed him the prophylactic.

She sat down next to him again, and pressed soft kisses to his shoulder, something that distracted him even more from the task at hand.

Would she notice that he had never applied something like that before? Should he tell her?

He had never been ashamed of it. Quite the opposite. And he wasn't ashamed now either. All his life, he had thought he would never do this, only to realize now, he had just been waiting for her.

But there was no need to tell her. He was sure, she knew anyway. Everything about his behavior tonight must have screamed 'novice'.

He fumbled around until he was confident that all bases were covered, then he reached out for her again and kissed her lips again softly.

'Help me.', he wanted to say. 'I have no idea how to do this.'

Blessedly, she seemed to sense his hesitation and she climbed onto his lap again.

She was biting her lower lip nervously.

What was she waiting for?

"Amy?", he whispered. "Is this what you want?"

He asked this, because he was raised a gentleman. And also, because she looked as nervous as he felt.

She breathed out shallowly.

"You were serious before, Sheldon, weren't you? You've been dreaming about me. This means something. I mean something to you. Right?"

Oh, how could she not know?

"You mean everything to me, Amy.", he said truthfully. "But if you have doubts. We don't have to… We can stop. We have time."

He meant it. This was still so new. If she wanted to, he would stop. Right now. Take a cold shower and just hold her for the remainder of the evening.

But she shook her head lightly and smiled at him.

"I don't have any doubts. I want this. I want you, Sheldon."

She wants me.

There was a moment now, as they looked at each other, when it felt like the Earth stood still. It was as if he was seeing her for the very first time. And at the same time, it felt as if she had always been there. Always been his.

His Amy.

A soft kiss sealed the agreement they had just come to. And then she lifted herself up slightly and he helped her align their bodies.

His erection was brushing against her core and already he could feel this incredible heat.

Slowly, she took him in, and he had to close his eyes, because of the sensation of being inside her.

It was so considerate of her, doing this so slowly. She seemed to stop every few seconds. It helped him get used to all these new feelings.

And then, he heard her gasp for air. She was breathing heavily.

For a moment she seemed to have difficulties but that was not possible, right? She knew how to do this. She had been so bold before. And she kept condoms in her purse. Surely, she had at least some experience with this.

But once he was sheathed inside her completely and he finally was able to open his eyes again, he couldn't help but worry.

She, too, had her eyes tightly shut. Pearls of sweat were visible on her forehead. Her whole body seemed tense.

Had he done something wrong?

"Amy?", he asked concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Yes.", she breathed out, but it sounded strained. "I just need a minute… to adjust."

To adjust? To him? To this?

His blood ran cold as realization hit him.

No. It wasn't possible. Or was it?

"Amy… you… you've done this before, right? This is not… your first time. Or is it?", he asked carefully.

Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"It is.", she said softly. "But that's okay. I just… needed a minute. It's all good now."

"But…", he stammered, his eyes widened in shock. It was hard to talk at all in this situation, but he had to. "But... You told me you've been saying yes to new experiences. How come…"

She bit her lips.

"Well…", she shrugged. "I guess I just never met a man I wanted to share this particular experience with."

"Never?", he asked. "Not even one?"

She shook her head.

"No one."

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

Of all the men she had met, of all she had dated, she had never wanted to share this with anyone. But she wanted to share it with him.

It was so unexpected. Unexpected but… oh so meaningful.

He would have to try to make sense of this later. Now there was a more pressing issue.

His body was fighting against his mind again. The way she felt, so amazing, so tightly wrapped around him, he could barely control himself. If he let go now, it wouldn't take long, he knew that.

He would probably not be doing well at this.

But this was her first time as much as it was his. And she was hurting. Oh, dear Lord, what had he done?

"Do you want to stop?", he asked, wiping a tear away from her face. "Because we still can."

"No.", she shook her head vehemently. "No, I want to do this. You don't have to worry about me."

He nodded seriously. And no matter what she said. He did worry.

Oh, if only he had listened whenever his friends had talked about their sexual encounters.

He did not know much about this. But he did know a little bit.

Trying to move as little as he could, he pulled her face to his and kissed her softly. His hands wandered over her body, hoping to distract her from the pain she must be feeling between her legs.

He then kissed her neck again, the way she had liked it so much before. Over and over, he pressed delicate kisses on her soft skin, and he could hear her breathe out deeply.

He moved from her neck over her collarbone to her breasts and showered them with kisses.

"Oh God, Sheldon, yes…", she breathed out and finally he could feel her starting to move. She seemed to be much more relaxed now.

"Better?", he clarified, looking at her closely.

"Yes.", she replied and smiled at him softly. "So much better."

Oh, dear Lord, did this feel out of this world, the way she moved her hips on top of him. Just a little bit at first but more and more with each movement.

Releasing him a bit before taking him in again. It took all his strength to keep himself from moving with her. This would have been his undoing and he knew it.

Instead, he moved his right hand to where they were joined. Exploring her as she moved.

Her breathing turned more erratic as he found what he had been looking for.

Again, he did not know what to do exactly, but the way she was moving against his fingers now, drawing little circles with her hips, gave him enough direction to stimulate her properly.

Finally, he allowed himself to push up into her and he could have cried because never in his life would he have expected it to feel this way.

Their eyes met, and for once, he was able to read her facial expression. He could see how much she was enjoying this. Her eyes sparkling with pleasure and lust and something else, her mouth open and her gasps and sighs filling the room.

He kissed her sloppily, enraptured by the fact that it was him, causing this for her.

Suddenly, her body stiffened in his arms. She moaned deeply and grasped his shoulders.

And then he felt it. Her walls tightening around him. Squeezing him rhythmically.

But it was her voice that pushed him over the edge. He had loved her voice ever since he had heard it for the first time all these months ago.

So deep and sultry and gentle.

"Oh, Sheldon…", she moaned into his ear, and it sounded even better than the song she had sang for him before.

"Amy… oh Amy.", he groaned as he felt his release approaching. This was it. Heaven on Earth. Pure ecstasy. His mind completely empty as he held on to her hips and shallowly pushed up into her a few more times.

He then held her body close to his, as they were both panting heavily.

He had no words for how he felt right now. He knew, he would have to get up. Dispose of the used condom. Clean himself up. But he also did not want to let go of her.

Not just because holding her felt so right – which it did. But also, because now that he was able to think clearly again, there was a question burning in his mind. And he was afraid of asking it.

What next?