disclaimer: Same thing in chapter 1


The next day Harley was sitting on while Ivy was making coffee then Ryan came into the apartment with a paper bag that had the McDonald's logo on it.

"Breakfast is served" Ryan said as he handed Harley her food. "One egg Mcmuffin for Harley"

"Thanks Ryan" Harley said smiling.

"And Ivy I got you the egg and cheese omelet burrito you love so much" Ryan said.

"Nice, thanks Ryan" Ivy said as Harley turned on the TV which was playing Good Morning Gotham.

"Ivy no rush, but Howie Mandel is only showing how to turn Thanksgiving left moves into an entire nativity scene" Harley sang.

"Oh my god!" Ivy said slowly rushing toward as she handed Harley and Ryan their coffee and sat next to Harley and watched the show.

"Uh, why is Howie sweating so much?" Ryan asked looking concerned.

"Next I'm gonna show you how to make Mash potato virgin Mary. Howie said on the tv. "But first, Please welcome my surprise co-host. You know him as The Crown Prince of Crime, let's give it up for The Joker." The Joker then appeared on screen and needless to say the three friends were less than happy.

"Shit!" Harley said.

"Damn it" Ivy said

"Fuck" Ryan said.

"Ooooh" Frank said.

"Get ready America. Howie's got something he's dying to tell you" Joker said as he pulled off Howie's appearan which revealed he was wearing a bomb.

"No, no, no, not Howie!" Frank said

"You know what's stupid? " Howie asked "Me, for playfully implying on yesterday's show that the celebrity villain couple formerly known as Jokuinn is no more"

"Jokuinn?" Ryan asked as he looked to his childhood friend.

"I didn't come up with that" Harley said.

"Thanks Howie" Joker said "When I dumped poor said what's her name, I promised to respect her wishes and let her drift into the darkness of total animity. And for the record, our couple name was Joker"

"Oh that liar!" Harley yelled as she stood up. "Trying to blow up the cleanest and nicest talk show host in television!?"

"Take it easy Harley" Ryan said as he stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. "He's just trying to get inside your head again"

"Ryan's right" Ivy said "He's just baiting you, it's not worth getting angry over"

"Well, that's all the time we have for today" Joker said as he activated the bomb. "And speaking of time Howie, your time is up"

"RAAH!" Harley yelled as she broke the TV with her bat.

"Jesus Harles!" Ivy exclaimed. "This is why I don't put the good tv out"

"If he thinks I'm just gonna fade away into absurdity, he's got another thing coming!"

"Harley who the fuck cares?" Ryan asked

"You're doing great, you got a new look and you got a handsome partner.

"Right, I mean who cares what Joker and his stupid Legion of Doom buddies think!?"

"Exactly!" Ivy said.

"Damn right!" Ryan said.

"Hell, I'll show him in person how much I need him!" Harley said.

"Say what?" Ryan asked

"What are you doing?" Ivy asked

"Logging into Joker's calendar" Harley replied while she was on her phone.

"Oh for fuck sake Harley..." Ryan said

"Hey, there's a party going at the Gotham Mint with the Legion of Doom guys tomorrow!" Harley said "If he wants to fuck with me I'm gonna fuck right back!"

"Please don't do this Harley" Ivy said

"Like seriously just don't" Ryan said.

"I'm just gonna show those guys how awesome I'm doing" Harley said. "It'll be so fun and Ivy you can meet a hot guy and use your cool love potion"

"Ugh, fine I'll go with you" Ivy said.

"Well I'm not going, so forget it" Ryan said as Harley walked up to him.

"Awww come on Ryan, you have to come. You're my partner remember?" Harley pleaded.

"Yeah, but I didn't sign up to go to the Legion of Assholes party" Ryan said crossing his arms. Then Harley put on her sad puppy dog face which she new was Ryan's weakness. "No not the puppy dog eyes" Ryan said as Harley started quivering her bottle lip. "And the quivering lip? Argh god damn it! Fine I'll go."

"Yay!" Harley squealed then Ivy's phone pinged and the clown girl looked at it. "Oh damn, Howie exploded"

"NO!" Ivy and Ryan yelled


Later Harley, Ivy and Ryan all went to the Gotham Mint. Harley was wearing sunglasses and a bowa while walking a tiger on a leash. However when they got into the room they saw that it wasn't a meeting, it was a bar mitzvah.

"Did you know this party was for children?" Ivy asked.

"I did not" Harley said.

"I told you that you were over dressed Harley." Ryan said as the clown girl glared at him.

"Are you ladies the dancers for my Nephew's Bar Mitzvah" The villain known as the Penguin asked. "Harley!? Rock bottom came fast since The Joker dumped ya"

"Uh, she dumped him" Ivy said.

"And for someone who calls himself The Penguin, You smell like the fat pig that you truly are" Ryan said making the girls snicker. Then Penguin pointed his umbrella at the Assassin.

"You better watch your mouth wannabe" Penguin threatened until he saw Ryan grab his umbrella and snapped it in half causing it to spark.

"Now, what was that you were saying Pig?" Ryan asked as he dropped the two halves of the broken umbrella.

"P-p-please enjoying the party?" Penguin said completely terrified.

"That's what I thought, Come on girls" Ryan said as he and the girls walked away.

"That was pretty badass Ryan" Harley complemented. "You'd make a great addition to the Legion of Doom."

"Probably" Ryan said even though he wasn't interested. "Now can we please go?"

"No, All the Legion of Doom big wings are here" Harley said. "I came to show them that I'm doing fine without Joker and if you think about it this is your chance to prove to them that you're not a wannabe."

"Ugh fine" Ryan said as he and Harley walked up to Scarecrow, Bane and Two Face.

"Oh, who are these trouble makers doing here?" The clown girl joked. "JK, I know it's you Scarecrow, Twoface, Bane"

"Quinn, Archer" Twoface replied "Great to see you, where have you two been?"

"On your left where you can't see shit" Harley said sitting down and making the other villains including Ryan laugh. "So, guess who has a plan to finally get rid of Batman?"

"Look who's trying to run before she can crawl" Joker said standing behind the clown girl.

"Pull up a chair J man" Harley said "It doesn't bother me. So whose going beef and whose going chicken?"

"You are going somewhere else" Joker growled "This is the Legion of Doom table! Why don't you go find the crazy bitch table?"

"Huh funny, because I was about to say the same thing to you" Ryan said said making Harley and the other villains laugh.

"I swear Archer one of these days" Joker threatened as Ryan got into the clown's face.

"You'll what old man?" Ryan said as the two men growled at each other until Harley pulled the Assassin away.

"C'mon on Ryan, he's not worth it" Harley said as they sat down with Ivy.

"These assholes always pretending to be my friends, these ASSHOLES!" Harley yelled "They think I'm not in their league, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT!! I'm gonna do somthing they can't. what's one thing in this room that none of them have the balls to try?"

"The fruit salad?" Ivy asked.

"Worse, Ryan and I gonna rob the Gotham Mint" Harley said.

"Oh fuck..." Ryan said.


Later, Harley and Ryan snuck around the Mint and took out some of the security guards.

"The vault must be here somewhere" Harley said as she and her partner slid under a cage door before it closed.

"We must be getting close" Ryan said helping Harley up. The two partners looked around the corner and saw a vault door being guarded by four guards.

"Bingo" Harley whispered.

"You take out the the cameras, I'll handle the guards" Ryan said as Harley climbed the wall and kissed the camera lends while Ryan knocked the guards out one by one. Then Harley used one of the guards thumbs to scan and unlock the vault. Once the vault opened, the two partners saw a huge pile of cash inside.

"Jackpot!" Harley squealed.

"Alright, let's get the dough and get out of here."

"Wait a minute" Harley said looking at the money and it said Joshhua Bucks. "This money is fucking fake!"

"Fake!?" Ryan asked as the curtain rose to reveal Penguin and his nephew Joshua. "Son of a bitch..." The Assassin said before he and Harley were knocked out with tranquilizer darts.


Later the two partners awoke from their "nap" and saw everyone at the party looking at them. They then realized they were chained to some chairs.

"It's gonna take more then a suped up parasol to stop us from kicking you ass you fat flightless bird!" Harley said.

"The mouth on this one" Penguin said as he handed Joshua his umbrella.

"I thought I broke that fucking thing?" Ryan asked.

"Apparently he has a spare" Harley groaned.

"I've been waiting for this" Joshua said and he turned the umbrella into a gun and aimed it at Harley and Ryan. "Sny last words losers?"

"Really, that's the best insult you can come up with?" Ryan asked "Yeah you're gonna make a great Crime Lord..."

"Hey Joshua" Harley called out "Make sure you aim directly at our heads. You don't want to miss in front of your friends and family"

"I won't miss" Joshua said as his hand trembled.

"I don't know" Ryan said joining in on the taunting. "That trembling hand says otherwise"

"It's not trembling!" Joshua said in denial. "I've just never shot an umbrella before!"

"I bet there are a lot of things you've never done before" Harley said rolling her eyes. "Like drunk a beer"

"I bet he still believes in Santa Claus" Ryan grinned.

"No I don't, I'm Jewish" Joshua whined "And I'm a man now"

"Oh that's right Ryan, we're talking to a man" Harley said.

"Yeah a man" Ryan said sarcastically "After all you already finger banged someone. Right Joshua?"

"What?" Joshua asked making everyone gasp.

"I mean, you have haven't you?" Harley asked. "I mean you didn't lie about an important milestone right?"

"It happened" Joshua whined.

"Did it Joshua?" Ryan asked "Did it really happen? Or are you just making shit up?" Then Joshua started crying into his mother's arms like a baby.

"You're both dead!" Penguin said but then a "villain" known as Kiteman crashed through the ceiling and landed in front of the partners.

"Hell yeah..." Kiteman groaned in pain as Ivy landed on top of him.

"Hey guys" Ivy greeted. "Did they do cake yet?"

"Not yet" Harley said as she and Ryan broke free from the chains.

"Harley, you're nothing more than a sidekick" Joker said "No one is gonna take you or that wannabe seriously. You're nothing without me and you know it."

"Go fuck yourself!" Harley said

"Oh boys" Joker called out to Scarecrow, Bane and Twoface.

"I got Scarecrow" Harley said.

"I got Twoface" Ivy said.

"Guess that leaves Bane for me" Ryan said as the super villain started growing in size. Babe tried to hit the assassin but Ryan was too face then Ryan jumped up, grabbed Bane by the neck then used all his strength and sent Bane crashing into the window unaware the Ivy and Harley had shocked looks on their faces.

"Holy shit!" Ivy said "What is he made out of!?"

"Pure hunkiness" Harley said with a love strucked look on her face.

"Say what?" Ivy asked her friend.

"Nothing!" Harley said blushing as she fought off Scarecrow. Eventually the trio found themselves surrounded.

"We need to get out of here!" Ivy said unaware that Joker was recording them.

"No, we stay and fight!" Harley insisted.

"I'm with Harley" Ryan said "I've never ran from a fight in my life and I'm not starting now!"

"Quit dicking around you idiots and kill them alrready!" Joker ordered.

"Why are you guys letting him boss you around?" Harley asked the others. "He doesn't even have any powers! His only power is bullying you into doing what he wants. I should know because he did it to me for years."

"Don't listen to her!" Joker said "She's nothing"

"She's right" Bane said "I don't like how you called me a monster"

"Yeah that was pretty harsh" Scarecrow said.

"Oh my god, it was just an expression!" Joker said. "Fine I'll kill Harley myself!" the clown said. Then out of nowhere Ryan twisted Joker's arm really hard which made him scream in pain and caused him to dropped his gun.

"If you ever threaten her again, I'll kill you" The assassin threatened then threw the clown out of the party. "You girls ready to go home?"

"Yep" The girls said as the trio said as the left the party.


The next morning the girls and Ryan were eating Joshua's cake for breakfast.

"So, do you realize you don't have to prove to anyone that you're awesome" Ivy asked.

"Yes, except the Leigon of Doom" Harley said "I need to get into the Leigon of Doom!"

"What!?" Ivy asked "Ryan talk some sense into her"

"Actually, I'm with Harley" Ryan said "If we get into the Legion, we can take over it then Gotham and then the world! Plus people will stop calling me a wannabe"

"Look Ivy, anyone who is a respected villain is in the Leigon of Doom" Harley said "If Joker can get in, the Ryan and I sure the hell can get in!"

"I'm with you Harley" Ryan said "We're gonna unleash hell!"


HARLEY AND RYAN PLAN ON GETTING INTO THE LEGION OF DOOM. WILL THEY SUCCEED? FIND OUT AS HARLEY QUINN PARTNERS IN CRIME CONTINUES.

RR FULCRUM OUT!.