Bellatrix Lestrange felt a burning pain in her head. She opened her eyes. The sun, it was so bright, it made her want to throw up. She was lying in a flowerbed, out on the street.
"What happened," she groaned.
Memory after memory swam in her mind, like kittens drowning in a swimming pool. She had been crying… then drinking… then crying… then drinking wine directly from the bottle… then crying… then doing shots… then…
"Oh, dear! The poor woman of the night!"
Bellatrix turned and saw a woman, unmistakably dressed in ugly colorful Muggle clothes and carrying a boring unmoving Muggle newspaper, ushering a small boy past her flowerbed.
"What a mess," the woman was saying. "We must pity her. Don't stare, Jimmy. Keep walking…"
Bellatrix felt a surge of rage. She was Bellatrix Lestrange, the greatest and most beautiful dark witch who had ever lived! "AVADA KEDAVRA!" she roared, pointing her wand at the Muggle woman. She fell down dead. The boy began to cry, which made Bellatrix's head hurt more, so she killed him too.
She sat up slowly. She seemed to be in Muggle London, outside a Muggle pub. As she climbed out of the flowerbed, she stepped on something and almost went flying. It was the Muggle woman's newspaper which she had so carelessly dropped as she died.
Bellatrix looked at the date printed on the newspaper. June 5th. "Oh shit!" she gasped. It was her beloved nephew Draco Malfoy's eleventh birthday. The day he would receive word of his acceptance to Hogwarts. She was supposed to be at his birthday party in Malfoy Manor. But first, she had to buy him a present.
She needed to get to Diagon Alley, but she had no idea where in London her flowerbed was. A bright red double decker bus came to a stop across the street from Bellatrix. But she would not take the bus. Bellatrix Lestrange was not a pleb.
She would call an Uber.
There was a small, shiny rectangular box near the woman. Bellatrix recognized it as a Muggle mobile phone. Tapping it with a long, black nail, she brought the phone up to the corpse's face and unlocked the phone's face recognition lock. Muggles were dumb but at least some weren't as dumb as the others, she thought with something approaching begrudging respect, admiring their relatively advanced ingenuity, considering they all led boring unmagical lives. Moments later, a car pulled up and Bellatrix got in. He was a good driver. She gave him five stars. Then she murdered him too.
At the entrance to Diagon Alley, Bellatrix tossed the mobile phone into a corner. It clattered against a pile of other mobile phones from other deceased, unfortunate, previous owners. She had done this before and it was fast becoming her preferred mode of travel to Diagon Alley these days.
Bellatrix decided to buy Draco something age-appropriate and evil. So Bellatrix went directly to Borgin and Burkes. "I need the most evil thing you have," she shouted. "It's for a child!"
Borgin pointed a trembling finger at a goblet that was made of a human skull fixed on top of human bones. Bellatrix cackled with glee. She reached out a hand to grab it…
...only to grab hold of a pale hand that had gotten there first.
"Hello, Bellatrix," a hissing, sexy voice said.
She looked at the pale hand, then up at the pale arm that connected to… "Lord Voldemort!" she breathed.
"Yes, it's me!" Lord Voldemort said. "I do believe I have just found the perfect present for young Draco Malfoy's birthday." He chortled.
Bellatrix fumed. How dare he steal her gift? She saw it first! And yet... Something about his sexy confidence made her weak at the knees.
It was a secret no one could guess, but Bellatrix had always been in love with Voldemort. And he had had feelings for her too…
"I see that you're still wearing the dress you were wearing last night," Lord Voldemort snickered.
Bellatrix blushed, flattered that he had taken notice of what she was wearing. Then suddenly, memories engulfed her…
FLASHBACK
"I'm ready, Voldie! How do I look?"
It was the night before, and Bellatrix Lestrange was showing off her dress to Voldemort in Black Manor.
She had chosen the dress herself from the finest emporium, and she had hoped he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her. It was a deep black, as black as midnight. Outside the window, there was not a sound from the pavement. Bellatrix peered up at the sky. Has the moon lost her memory? Bellatrix wondered. She is smiling alone...
Across from her, Lord Voldemort leaned against her dresser, sipping from a goblet of wine. "No," he said. "You look like an uncooked chicken."
Tears sprang to Bellatrix's eyes. "What?!" she cried. "How could you say something so cruel to me?"
"I'm just trying to be objective," Voldemort replied. "You can't go out in that. It makes your arms look pale and gross and flabby."
Bellatrix burst into tears. Crying, she ran out of Black Manor into the night.
She kept running until she reached an innocent-looking Muggle restaurant called The Little Cheeseburger. Sobbing, she entered. "Cy… cystitis urinaria!" she sobbed, waving her wand.
A hidden panel in the back wall slid open to reveal another room. A sign above the door said Slyfinger's Sleepeasy (where good and evil witches and wizards meet to have torrid affairs). Bellatrix stepped through, grabbed the first drink she saw (not caring that it was in someone else's hand), tossed it back, and went in search of this next one to try to forget the painful words the man she loved so passionately had said to her…
END FLASHBACK
A chuckle from Voldemort brought her back to the present. Oh how she loved that low, throaty rumble. "I didn't mean that you actually looked like a chicken. That dress just makes your pale arms look fleshy and awkward. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bring Draco's birthday gift to the counter to be wrapped."
"I'll show you fleshy and awkward!" Bellatrix roared, pulling her wand out and sending a curse flying straight towards Voldemort's outstretched hand. Incensed and outraged, they began to duel furiously, stray spells ricocheting off their shields. Borgin whimpered and ducked under the counter to shelter from the maelstrom currently trashing his shop.
"CRUCIO!" Bellatrix and Voldemort yelled in tandem. Twin jets of light rebounded off silently cast shields and smashed into the skeletal goblet, destroying it utterly and coating them in a fine white powder. Bellatrix began coughing uncontrollably. Maybe now Voldemort would be moved by her suffering. He'd rub her back and hold her in his pale cold arms and...
"Now see what you've done!" Voldemort shouted. "What in Slytherin's name am I going to give Draco for his birthday now?"
Bellatrix slowly turned around, surveying the damage. A flash of movement in the window caught her eye. A small house elf was hurrying past the store, unsteady under the weight of the jumbo box of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans it was bearing. "I have an idea…" Bellatrix muttered.
"Happy birthday, dear Draco, happy birthday to you!" sang the gathering of Draco's closest family and friends as he beamed at them. "I think you may open your presents now, Draco," said Narcissa. Draco clapped his hands in excitement. He had counted thirty-seven presents on the table. Last year he only had thirty-six!
"Little Malfoy, felicitations on reaching such a milestone," Voldemort smiled benignly and presented Draco with a big wrapped box. Draco tore into the wrapping eagerly. "Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans! A jumbo box! Aww, thanks Uncle Lord Voldemort! They're my favourite!"
"Mine now!" Bellatrix elbowed a scowling Voldemort aside and dragged a large, lumpy and poorly wrapped package over to her young nephew. Narcissa glanced at her sister when she saw the gift and Bellatrix glared at her. "It may have been wrapped with zero percent artistry but it was wrapped with a hundred percent love." Narcissa sniffed and looked away.
Draco ignored his mother and aunt and ripped the wrapping off. "A house elf!" shrieked Draco.
"Your house elf," corrected Bellatrix, grinning maniacally.
"Bellatrix!" chided Narcissa. "We already have one hundred house elves, why did you get another one? Soon we'll be overrun with little vermin!"
"No Mother, I love it!" squealed Draco.
The house elf blinked up at him, stood, and bowed shakily. "You is Boba's new master?" it squeaked, casting a nervous glance at Bellatrix who glowered at it.
Draco drew himself up to his full height, which was above average for an eleven year-old. "Yes, I am Draco Malfoy, pure-blood son of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy."
The elf bowed towards Lucius and Narcissa, and turned back to Draco. "I is Boba, Master Draco. I is pleased to be of assistance to you."
"Dobby!" The house elf appeared with a loud crack.
"Yes, Mistress Narcissa?" it enquired timidly.
"This is Boba, Draco's new house elf. You will train it until you deem it will serve Draco to a satisfactory standard. Torture it anytime you like. Never forget that it is an honor to work under harsh conditions for no pay in the fabulously wealthy and prestigious House of Malfoy!"
"Yes, Mistress Narcissa." With another loud crack, both elves disappeared.
A loud knocking sounded from the direction of the front hall, and everyone turned to see who the final guest was. Bellatrix felt her heart throb as soon as she caught sight of the twinkly blue eyes of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
FLASHBACK
Bellatrix had stopped sobbing violently after the eighth stolen drink and now felt a little ill. She hadn't eaten anything other than a cube of cheese all day in order to fit into the dress. Not that it had really mattered after all.
"How about some Gillywater instead this time?" the bartender eyed her cautiously. The last time she came up to the bar she had stolen a half-empty bottle of Firewhisky and disappeared back into the crowd after he put it down to finish garnishing a drink.
"How's about some hexes instead of Galleons this time?" Bellatrix hiccoughed in his general direction.
"But you didn't pay for that bottle," he whined.
"You didn't pay for that bottle," she slurred back. Ha ha ha! She was so witty!
"Two Gillywaters please, for myself and the lady." A long-fingered hand clinked down some coins on the bar.
"Who do you think you are? I am Bellatrix Lestrange and nobody tells me what to drink," she shot back at the hand with venom and promptly lost her balance.
The hand grabbed her arm and steadied her, and through sheer force of will, Bellatrix dragged her eyes up to face her would-be interloper.
Merlin's balls! she swore inwardly.
It was Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
"Long time no see, Ms. Lestrange," he greeted her warmly.
He handed her one the Gillywaters and gestured towards the roof.
"I could go for a couple of little cheeseburgers, if you'd like to join me?"
Bellatrix was dazzled. She looked deep into the bright blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore and saw someone who truly cared for her. She felt light-headed, remembering how she had had a crush on Albus years ago when he was her professor. To top it all off, he was a Gryffindor! She thought back to Voldemort's earlier treatment of her and decided that she didn't care about his opinion of her and her dress after all.
"Oh, Albus, I'd love to," she gushed. Taking his hand, she allowed him to lead her upstairs to the false front that served real little cheeseburgers, The Little Cheeseburger.
On a greasy set of tables and chairs, in a booth on the rooftop away from prying Muggle eyes, Bellatrix and Albus bit into their cheeseburgers with relish (hers also had mayonnaise). She gazed soulfully into his sapphire eyes and felt her heart skip a beat as he looked back at her.
"Tell me, Bellatrix…" He murmured.
Her heart fluttered. "Yes, Albus?"
"I've always wondered… but I was afraid to ask before…"
She batted her eyelids at him. It gave her a mild headache but anything for Albus. "Yes?"
"You're such a beautiful, clever, powerful witch, and I…" He swallowed. "I have to ask…"
"Ask me anything, Albus," she crooned.
He took a deep breath. "Have you ever... gone twenty-four hours without killing a Muggle?"
"What!?" Bellatrix was shocked. "I… I thought you…" Enraged, she drew herself up to her full height. "In fact, I have," she said haughtily. "I have other pursuits and accomplishments, you know."
Albus frowned. "In that case, you won't mind if I…" He flicked his wand suddenly. "Priori incantatem!"
Bellatrix's wand flew out of her robes and clattered onto the table. The ghosts of previous spells she had cast floated up… along with echoes of her shrieking, "Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra" Faces hovered in mid-air, faces of innocent Muggles she had murdered in the last few days. There were even more than she remembered.
"You lied to me, Bellatrix!" Albus said in a choked voice.
"I don't bloody care about Muggles!" Bellatrix roared, suddenly feeling the effects of the many drinks she'd had. "I'll kill them any bloody time I feel like it! But I had feelings for you, Albus! And this was how you treated me!"
Crying hysterically, Bellatrix ran down the stairs, cursing Muggles randomly as she ran.
"Wait!" Albus cried. "Bellatrix, wait! I wasn't done talking yet! I was going to say… you may have lied to me and killed a thousand Muggles before breakfast, but it doesn't matter to me! I love you! I've always loved you! Bellatrix! BELLAAAAAA!"
But it was too late. Bellatrix, his true love, had run crying out of earshot. As she ran, one of her garbled curses hit a stray white cat. The cat yowled and leapt into the air as the unknown spell took hold. Then it ran away. But Dumbledore wondered if he'd see that cat again. Somehow, it seemed somewhat significant…
As Bellatrix ran for the nearest Muggle pub, determined to drink as much as she could, she cursed her horrible luck with men. How did this keep happening to her? She would be alone, always alone…
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
END FLASHBACK
"Ah, hello everyone, a pleasure to see you all, but I'm afraid I'm here on important Hogwarts business. Where is our birthday boy?" Dumbledore strode into the room, avoiding Bellatrix's gaze, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.
"Here I am! Do you have a present for me?" Draco demanded.
Dumbledore smiled avuncularly. "Well, young man, in a manner of speaking, I do! I am the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I'm here to give you the one and only personal message I'll be delivering in person this year: you've been accepted to Hogwarts! Congratulations!"
Immediately, Dumbledore was hit in the eye with an olive. The brine really stung.
"That's not a real present!" Draco screeched, pelting one of the greatest wizards of all time with another olive. "You're the worst person who's ever attended one of my birthday parties!"
"Draco!" Bellatrix burst out angrily. "Don't say things like that about Albus! He's thoughtful and kind and sweet and charming and handsome and…" Suddenly she realized what she was saying in front of everyone and broke off, blushing bright red.
Albus turned to her, eyes shining. "Do you really mean that, Bellatrix?"
Bellatrix lowered her eyes, embarrassed. "Albus, I… I…"
"No, she doesn't," Voldemort burst out in jealous anger. "She thinks I'm charming and handsome and wonderful. Don't you, Bella?" He threw her a smouldering look. "And have I mentioned how ravishing you look in that dress?"
"I… I…" Bellatrix felt so confused, like a cat that has just figured out that it is not a dog. "I think you're both wonderful. I… I… I'm in love with both of you!"
Albus gasped. Voldemort choked. Narcissa fainted and hit the ground with a sickening thud.
"MOTHER!" Draco's eyes widened and he began hyperventilating, clutching at his throat and helplessly fluttering his hands at his father. Lucius also began to hyperventilate.
Albus puffed out his chest. "I love Bellatrix," he declared. "With or without her Muggle-killing habit. I won't see her going off with the likes of you, Voldemort!"
"Her Muggle-killing habit is her best feature!" Voldemort screamed back. "Along with her shapely and very attractive arms! I love her and I understand her far better than you ever would, you Muggle-loving cur. I challenge you to a duel!"
"I accept!" Albus shouted. He drew his wand. "Angiodyspasia!" A jet of bright red sparks shot out of his wand.
"Hematochesia!" Voldemort countered. Brown flames mushroomed out of his wand. As their spells collided, there was a huge explosion as the curses blew each other up. But the wizards continued dueling, destroying the drawing room of Malfoy Manor in the process.
Crack. "Petit four?" squeaked Boba, appearing suddenly with a tray of canapes. A stray curse zinged past her and part of the floor exploded and the hole started oozing out slugs.
"STOP," yelled Bellatrix. "THIS IS SO AWKWARD BECAUSE WE ARE ALL RELATIVES AND DRACO IS JUST A CHILD!"
Draco had by now sunk to his knees in shock and Lucius was curled up in a ball on the floor weeping softly, having been hit in the face by a stray Stinging Jinx. Narcissa had actually roused from her faint but being by far the most intelligent Malfoy (since she was born a Black after all), she remained on the carpet pretending to be out cold.
"Truce?" Dumbledore was breathing heavily. Bellatrix couldn't help but admire his taut chest, his dreamy physique, his strong hands and long fingers that gripped his trembling wand… How she longed to feel those fingers tangled in her hair...
Voldemort eyed him warily. "Truce." His suave demeanor, his elegant reserve, his amazing talent for delegation… Bellatrix found herself wondering what it would be like to snog those thin, serpent-like lips that had come so close to hers before...
A loud clang followed by a squeal and a crack brought the three relatively functioning adults back to the present. Draco had kicked his new house elf who promptly dropped the tray of canapes and then Disapparated back to wherever the house elves stayed in Malfoy Manor.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Ahh, Draco, sorry about that. Yes, I'm so very sorry about this ahhh - misunderstanding and ahh - yes, so sorry. Have a lovely birthday Draco, ahh yes, so sorry. I ahh - have to - need to deliver more acceptance letters, so sorry for the intrusion. Thank you for having me. Ahhh, also, apologies for the mess Madam Malfoy," he addressed the still prone Narcissa. He waved his wand and the slugs disappeared and the hole in the floor repaired itself.
Dumbledore threw one final, long, meaningful look at Bellatrix, who was perched on a sofa arm and had her head in her hands before Disapparating with a loud crack.
"I -" Voldemort made a gagging sound and coughed. "I -" He continued to gag for a few minutes until his Britishness came through and he managed to choke out something that vaguely sounded like an apology. "Now I ahh - need to go and uhh - just need to leave now..." he trailed off lamely. Voldmort stared at her for a long minute, then was gone with another crack.
Bellatrix sighed loudly and pulled the ashen boy close to her and kissed the top of his little blond head. "I need to head off to Draco, but you be a good boy and continue to mistreat that new elf of yours, won't you?" She patted him on the cheek.
With a nod to Narcissa (who was now sitting against the sofa with a grumpy expression on her face) and Lucius (who turned to look away as his temporarily disfigured face became very red), she swept out of Malfoy Manor.
But as soon as she was out of sight, Bellatrix dropped her dignified demeanor and ran sobbing through the dark London streets until she ran right into an unsuspecting Muggle.
"Avada kedavra!" she screamed and the muggle dropped dead at her feet. Through glistening tears, she tore through the Muggle's pockets for his phone and called an Uber. Twenty minutes and another dead Muggle later, she reached The Little Cheeseburger… to get drunk and cry her eyes out…
Every street lamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters
And soon
It will be morning
...while Albus Dumbledore returned to his lonely office at Hogwarts, where he pulled out of hidden flask of something much stronger than Gillywater and sniffled quietly to himself all night as he nursed his broken heart for a love that could not be….
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in.
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
...and Voldemort, too, in a dark corner of a secret location, surrounded by bottles of moonshine, swigged and sobbed and thought of how once again, he had allowed the love of his life to slip out of his fingers…
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
A streetlamp dies; another night is over
Another day is dawning
...as hours later, Bellatrix found herself coming to consciousness once more in a familiar flowerbed, hungover and alone. When would she ever know true love?
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me, you''ll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun.
Draco was on the train to Hogwarts, thinking about how much it sucked. He was Draco Malfoy, and he was used to better. He was offended that he had been forced to take a train with all these plebs.
A rattling noise distracted him from his thoughts. Ah, finally! It was the legendary Honeydukes Express trolley, always piled high with treats to feed the hungry masses… except that the trolley was passing his compartment without slowing!
"Excuse me!" he shouted, throwing his compartment door open. It banged hard against the jamb and he had to leap into the corridor to avoid being smacked in the face as it slid back towards him. "I'd like to get something from the trolley!" he huffed, crossing his arms angrily, not noticing that something seemed off.
"I'm sorry dearie, but the trolley's been cleaned out today," the plump, friendly witch pushing it stopped and smiled sadly at him.
"One of your little friends bought the lot," she pointed down the corridor to another compartment. "I'm sure he'd be glad to share though!"
Draco was aghast. He was a pureblood, the product of the unholy union between the Blacks and the Malfoys. Draco Lucius Malfoy did not share, especially not with a jumped-up little prick who thought they could just buy up everything from the trolley. Draco had already finished the jumbo box of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans three days after his birthday and was craving more, since Narcissa had banned him from eating them in the Manor after he threw up in a priceless vase that had been handed down through generations of the Black family, having accidentally eaten a kidney stone-flavoured bean. He scowled and retreated to his compartment.
As the trolley witch bustled off, a movement from the compartment across from him caught his eye. There was a girl sitting in there, and she turned to face Draco, as if she had felt his eyes graze over her profile. Pale skin - so pale as to be nearly translucent. Tumbling dark curls, and - Draco caught his breath. Her eyes. They were dark pools, enigmatic and unknowable, but their shape. So… Draco squinted. Almost… Feline… But surely not? Their eyes met and Draco nearly fell off his seat. Her pupils. Her eyes. They were not human in the slightest. They were most definitely feline… Like a cat… The girl dropped her eyes and turned to face her window.
A long shudder ran through Draco. It was most unusual. If you discounted the shape of her pupils, she reminded Draco of someone he knew… But who was it? Who was it?!
Draco spent the rest of the train ride trying to figure out who the girl reminded him of. The riddle bothered him all through the boat ride across the lake to the castle, all through the Sorting (he wasn't concerned about that, he was a Malfoy, the Hat barely touched his head before Sorting him into Slytherin), and for most of the Start-of-Term Feast. It wasn't until Professor Dumbledore stood up to give his welcome speech that Draco felt an electric jolt race through him.
"Auntie Bella," he breathed. The girl reminded him of Bellatrix. Draco's mouth went dry.
Something very strange was going on… Although he did not like to think about it, Draco knew deep down that his life had been forever changed the moment Bellatrix, Voldemort, and Dumbledore had gotten into a fight (for reasons he half-hoped he would never comprehend) at his birthday party. There must be more to come...
A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! More coming soon! Please review and let me know what you thought!
