Taking a deep breath, she stares up at the ceiling as the ultrasound technician continues to carry out the scan. She feels like she's been lying in silence for hours, although in reality she knows that it has actually only been around ten minutes since the scan began.

'I-Is everything okay?' She asks quietly glancing over in an attempt to see the screen.

'Oh my gosh, I am so sorry I didn't mean to worry you, Emily. Everything is absolutely perfect. I was just gathering some necessary measurements now we can get a good look at baby.' Maria, the ultrasound technician, replies smiling as she turns the screen to give Emily a better look.

'Oh wow… I can't believe how big they've gotten since the last scan. They were tiny when I was last here.' Emily says, tears filling her eyes as she stares at the screen and watches her unborn baby move around.

'A lot changes in eight weeks. Can you see this movement here? Right up by the face? That's baby sucking their thumb and down here we have some tiny little toes wiggling about.' Maria explains pointing out all the baby's features on the screen.

'It blows my mind how much detail you can actually see.' Emily replies shaking her head.

'We can have a little listen to the heartbeat today as well but would you like to know the sex of the baby? I can have a look and see if little one wants to play ball and give us a peek?' Maria asks causing Emily to bite her bottom lip.

'Oh I'm not sure… That's something I haven't actually thought about.' Emily admits causing Maria to smile.

'Well why don't we listen to the heartbeat and you can have a think about it. Before we move any further, can I ask if you've had any stretching or pulling sensations around the area of your scar?' Maria asks and Emily shrugs her shoulders.

'Not around my scar. I have had a kind of stretching sensation as my stomach has began to change shape but it's not something that bothers me really… Just a bit of an odd feeling.' Emily replies.

'That's good. Be sure to let your midwife know if you do start having discomfort around your scan. Now lets listen to baby's heartbeat.' Maria says. Suddenly the sound of the baby's heartbeat fills the room and Emily reaches up to wipe a tear from her cheek. Everything about this pregnancy has been bittersweet so far; she never thought she'd have the opportunity to be a mom so this experience is wonderful, but moments like this are when Mark's death weighs really heavy on her heart.

'Would I actually be able to find out the sex today, if that's possible? It'll give me the chance to get properly organised.' Emily asks and Maria nods her head.

'Of course. Let's see if baby will play ball.' Marie replies smiling.


'So have you thought any more about what we spoke about the other day? Decided when you want to take your maternity leave?' Brian, her boss, asks as he sits across from her.

'I have actually. So ideally I would like to give birth back in the US; it gives me the opportunity to have a lot more support and I know that I'll be more comfortable there especially in the first few weeks.' She admits and he nods his head.

'So if it's at all possible, I'd like to use the holiday leave I have saved up prior to my maternity leave starting to allow me to fly out and get somewhere set up for us to stay. I was thinking that if I maybe go on holiday leave around thirty weeks then that would allow my maternity leave to start at thirty-six weeks.' She continues and he nods his head again.

'That sounds great. We can definitely do that. Is there any other support we can offer you in the meantime, Emily? I understand this can't be an easy journey to be on. Do you have contact with Mark's family?' He asks and she nods her head.

'Thank you. I do actually. I see his mom as much as I possibly can.' She replies smiling as she thinks back to the day she revealed to his mom she was expecting.

Sitting in the lounge area Emily smiles as she watches Linda, Mark's mom, make her way over carrying a hot tea for each of them.

'How was your time away, sweetheart? I imagine spending time with your friends was good for you?' Linda says placing each mug down on a coaster before taking a seat on the sofa.

'It really was. It gave me space and time to breathe and I guess begin the process of dealing with everything that happened… How are you doing?' Emily asks.

'We're getting there. We have good days and some not so good days but that's normal with grief, isn't it?' Linda replies and Emily nods her head.

'I actually have something I want to tell you…' Emily begins watching the woman's expression change to concern.

'Have you decided to go back to the states?' Linda asks and Emily shakes her head.

'No, I'm staying where I am for now but how would you feeling about being a nana or a granny, whatever you want to be called is fine with me.' Emily says softly. The room falls silent as Emily watches the older woman's expression change from concern to shock before finally settling on joy as tears fill her eyes.

'Oh… A-Are you pregnant?' Linda asks and Emily nods her head.

'A little under twelve weeks. I actually only found out when I was in the states so I've not been hiding it from you or anything.' Emily replies.

'Oh, Emily… This is such wonderful, wonderful news. I know Mark would have been over the moon to have a baby with you. He honestly, truly loved you more than I've ever seen him love anyone else. Wow, I wasn't expecting this.' Linda says shaking her head causing Emily to smile as she wipes a tear from her cheek.

'Neither was I.' Emily admits.

'I'm glad you are still in contact with them. I will get all the paper work sorted for your leave and maternity leave then we'll get that signed and official in place. Sound good?' He asks and she nods her head.

'Sounds perfect… Thank you.' She replies smiling.


'What's it like?' She asks, one hand holding the phone against her ear whilst the other rests on her stomach.

'What is what like?' JJ asks.

'Giving birth, being a mom… All of it? What should I be expecting?'

'Oh Emily, there is just something so magical about that moment your baby is placed on your chest for the first time. I promise you being a mom is one of the best things you will ever do. In fact everything you imagine it being right now? It's one hundred times better than that. Waking up in the morning to that little face is just everything… Giving birth on the other hand is hard. It's really hard actually but you forget about that all the moment that baby is here. It's all worth it for the moment their tiny hand grips onto your finger and those big eyes stare up at you, it's all worth it. You'll be the best mom.'

'Will you be there? I mean- I'm planning on coming back to have the baby and spend probably the first few weeks. I've already asked Penelope if she'll be there but I'd really like it if you were there as well… If you'd rather not, I completely understand.'

'Oh I'd love to be there, Emily. What's made you decide to come back here to have the baby?'

'I just think I'll be more comfortable. I'm going on maternity leave at thirty-six weeks but I'm using my holiday leave so I'll be off work from thirty weeks which will allow me to find somewhere to stay over there and get everything set up.'