Chapter 25 - Breathe out.
2:40 am.
I made sure to close the thin slider plastic curtain to my room as tightly as I could. Even going as far as using my psychic powers to make it extra tight.
I sigh, lightly. I can still peer through it. This Cabin is so small, my heels hurt from having to be extra sneaky around all day. I don't know why I even do it on grass…
I push my paw into the ground, letting it go deep into the gray carpet.
I breathe in and out quickly as I feel it, then try to lie down.
'It's time to relax yourself- no one's awake at this time. This is your time,' I think to myself.
'I did well today… I was a good Umbreon.'
'I did what was asked of me…' I rest my head on my paw as I stare out the curtain.
'No one is here, no one's awake… Even if someone came out, I can just pretend to sleep right here on the carpet.'
'No… I shouldn't. I would look like a dog. I would have to get up and pretend to sleep on the bed.'
I have to be prepared for whatever might be thrown at me, so I get up and turn and climb up to my bed. It's small, one I would've easily used when I was only a small child. But it's a perfect size for… something like me.
I end up just completely melting- laying on my stomach, on the bed.
'I need to just relax for a couple of hours… I would sooo go to the moon right now. Like holy shit. But I don't want anything crazy to happen, I have too much on my plate.'
'I just need to stay here… I've already grown bored with my computer. I've been on it for more than a couple of hours today.'
I crawl forward, dragging my stomach across the silky old bed cover. Then I turn myself over on the pillow.
I can see my 4 legs sticking out in front of me. Beyond them is the ceiling.
'…I remember when I did this, with hands.'
I begin to slightly move them, sometimes just seeing how far I can stretch them out. I'm walking- then I even do a 'bicycle' movement.
'If only I was better in the mirror…'
'It sucks so fucking hard that my tail whips or that my ears go back… it's so unnatural. I can't see myself like that too well- I can only have an educated guess. But nothing absolute.'
'They get a window into me. They get a window into my heart, and I don't want that, I can't control that. I can't.'
I hear so many noises… I hear the ruffling of the beds, I hear creaks…
I breathe in and out again. I just have to be still. There's no one near me. I have to be steady.
I put my paws on my face with a large groan.
'I hate the feeling of restlessness. I just wanna jump. I wanna do something!'
'It's everywhere, I feel this too much now. I can't even sleep if I tried. It would be pointless anyways.'
'I don't know what to do…'
'I can't even think straight…'
'Why the fuck am I doing this? This is pointless, right? This is completely pointless. I've done this before. This is all overdone, I'm a complete wimp. But I have given myself the highest chance of success for tomorrow, just have to hold the boat. Gave it the best odds. At least leave feeling hopeful, instead of just some damn dread.'
'This is, stupid. This is all honestly stupid. I'm pretty stupid. They're all coming tomorrow. I had no fucking clue. I had no fucking clue. Stupid fucking surprises!'
'I can't believe it, even. I just wanted to be left alone. Wasn't that the plan? Or are people gonna be all cheery and happy around me like it's a fucking birthday party and be singing to me? I know my Mom told it's just a standard thing, but there has to be more to it
'I can't. I legitimately can't with it. All those 'happy' faces.'
'They're all doing something, some shit. Some bullshit.'
Within the cramped space, I scoot my feet across the carpet as I ponder to myself.
'How am I gonna do this? After everything? After everything!'
"Grrrr"
I feel incredibly restless. I need to move.
I jump out of my position, my four paws rocking back and forth on the bounciness of the bed.
'This is all completely useless.'
'I'm tired, I'm lonely as fuck, I don't know what's gonna happen even a week from now. Fuck, even a damn day!'
'I'm just… grrr, augh,
'Repeating and repeating…'
'Everything is just so tight. It's so small. I'm choking to death.'
I lower myself from the bed In a huff, I walk around in place, pacing for a few moments.
'I have to stay here though, it's practically mandatory. I shouldn't leave this room.'
'I don't even know anymore.'
I slowly edge myself closer to the door, and I use my psychic to open it just a tick.
'I just need some air, that's all. Just some air.'
'Just some air.'
I peek my head through the opened door.
'Just some air that, that's all
I walk ahead, to the porch door. I stop just before it. It's a big wooden door. Mildly loud to open.
'Trying.'
'If I even try to open this, people could hear! I don't want people to know! To hear me! What if they gossip about tomorrow? I haven't seen this many people yet! Ohh god. They're gonna be checking me out at all sides and angles!'
I slowly lower myself, sitting on the door.
I'm… pleased to be out of that room.
'I've just wrapped around so much. I'm not even like the person they knew before…'
'I go from one thing to; I go to another… and I've already said that already. I've said that 20 times, 30! 40!'
'50!'
'I'm not even the person they knew anymore… I'm just a shell. Look at me.'
'A glorified shell to be put on display in front of everyone.'
'Maybe give the dark jester a couple of bucks?'
'I'm just wrong. Wrong in every way. Wrong in how I've approached this transformation… Wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!'
'I'm not even Jack, I'm nothing. There's nothing left.'
'They all know, they all know! I'm just a sick bastard to be pleased every so often.'
'I can't focus on one thing at a time, I'm completely losing it. This is the final straw.'
'I just…'
'Need…'
I turn around, putting my paw on the door.
'…'
'…'
My face contorts as I begin to actually cry.
'...If anyone saw me right now. At this door. Crying… I wouldn't know what to do with myself.'
'If I even told this to some Elementals, they might even think I'm a wimp. Why didn't you just do it- BECAUSE I CAN'T OKAY!?'
'They would never trust me again if I left even for a bit.'
'I can only imagine if someone woke up and checked on me. Only to find me not there… I would be done! Completely DONE. DONE DONE DONE.'
'Who would trust me already, even just seeing me crying at this…'
I bang lightly at the door.
'Stupid…stupid…stupid, door.'
'I can just imagine their faces, their reactions, their talks, and their pleas and what I'll have to do to withhold it!'
'I've just, everytime. I've just seemingly lost more of myself to these people.'
'I don't feel safe even in my own room…'
'I've shattered it more and more.'
'My life would be over.'
I breathe, slightly out of breath.
'I've…'
I slump against the door.
'…fucked everything up enough already…what is this…'
'THE 5TH TIME I'VE SAID THIS?!'
I roll over onto my side with a small murr, it's all bouncy and jumpy just like my bed.
I breathe in wholly, letting out refreshingly. I stretch out my legs
eee…
I'm a fluffy mess. I feel the grass; I can't hold back a small laugh.
…grass?
"…huh?"
I gently lift my head up slightly from the ground, licking my lips. I gaze around from my lying down position
"Oh…Heya Sun."
It seems to look about dawn looking through the treeline above, and the sun has warmed everything with its rays in its wake. Including myself. Sometimes I don't even feel the fur on my body, I forget. heh...sometimes I just rub and feel it as a distraction. But it feels different now within the strands of fur. I feel bundled up and warm. Snuggly.
"Heh."
I roll around and settle into a new pose.
"This is nice...I like this better."
"Hmm…where am I?" I thought to myself, as I heard birds begin to chirp
I would get up to look better, but I'm comfortable and there's no direct threat at the moment. I end up just lying flat on my back. it's funny though, I've never partaken in such a silly action before. everything looks so different, it's all flipped!*
I see the Cabin, upside down due to the position I am in. I'm relieved to not be far, but still out of view of any onlookers. I'm just in some grassy brush.
"Oh, there you are," I spoke to myself, amused, then just thinking again
"…how did I get out here? Did I teleport?"
"…did someone carry me outside? I know parents used to do things like that with young children"
I curl up slightly and return back to my original position. Though flipping myself over like a pancake for the Sun.
"I swear, I didn't even go out."
"I thought, this was my bed."
I rest somberly while I thought
"Did I really do that? I thought it would've been impossible to do something such as leaving…"
"I mean. Oh! Ohh! It was probably a moon thing. Moon-highs, whatevers."
"That explains it."
"…God these humans don't know what they're missing with having no fur."
"This is legitimately nice."
"I couldn't even control myself at that moment, and here I am…"
"Not too bad for a bad ending, but…but who knows how long will this last…"
"I have to face reality, what if someone saw me? That wouldn't be too fun."
I'm too warm to care and I give off some nervous, yet excited, laughter.
"Just…fascinating."
"This is how it feels to live for a few moments, huh?"
"How…it feels… to live" sniff
I Whine quietly as I curl up more.
"I'm breathing…actually breathing. Hahaha."
"This is what normal people must live like." A stupid giggle escapes me.
"My own little bubble…"
"I was so afraid of losing myself back there, but if anything…I found more of myself just from this."
"Maybe it's okay to let go, oh what am I kidding, it'll never work!"
"It might as hell might be but it'll never happen with them!"
"It'll never work out the way I want it, that's for everyone."
I giggle madly, "If I said that even once. They'll all think I've gone truly bonkers!"
"…And look at this proof! Their kid is bonkers! Truly just a fraction of a civilized mind!"
"I'm gonna get ready, I'll regret it in the future. Come on now"
"I just have to hold out, no one saw me. If no one saw me, Then it never happened, and that's how things are gonna be"
I groggily pick myself up off the ground.
"eek. Shit, this is strange…"
"I pray that I don't leave that God-forsaken door open."
Quickly, with a small bounce in my tip-toeing steps, I head back over.
I slow once I reach the back of it…not even daring to open up the back patio fence. I jump over it.
I head up the dark wooded steps, and with my psychic at the ready. I pull down the handle, opening it as I peek my head in.
'Alright. The plan is that I just walk to the actual bathroom and say I had to piss if anyone sees me walking around
I push the rest of my body through the door, and I walk over the green old carpet to the bathroom.
I open the door, I enter, and with a click, it closes.
It locks.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. My mission is accomplished.
I actually go to the bathroom as I always do after I wake up, then I flush the toilet. I never actually wash my paws, so I just let the sink faucet run to create an illusion of such.
I unlocked the door.
…as I wander past the kitchen. I spot the time.
5:47am
immediately, I'm struck completely still in my tracks. Frozen, as I assessed the situation, I hear creaks. My heart accelerates. I'm not alone, have I been completely compromised?
'Shit, I already left the bathroom, it would make too much noise to go back. Wait, didn't I already flush? I can't even go ba-'
"Oh, Heya Jack" It's my Mom.
"Did you open up a window or something? I know you want more fresh air but not all of us sport a coat of fur. Heating has already gotten sparse."
"Did you seriously stay up all night again? You knew today was something special."
I shake my head no, as I wander over. As I do so, a cap from a black marker is removed and I draw out some writing on the desk with some paper already there.
…I'm getting better at it.
I can't do curves well.
'Bathroom'
It's absolute shit. The B looks like an E with an identity crisis and the o's…I have no clue.
"Ah, alrighty."
"Interesting."
'Was that interesting towards…the letters? Or does she not trust me? I didn't stay up all night, I didn't!'
'Great, if anything goes wrong with me today they're all gonna blame it on that.'
"Still, Please be sure to not open any of them Jack. I'm gonna try to get some extra sleep."
"…After I nab another blanket."
she leaves for the time being. I untense myself.
'…not fair…not fair. She totally saw my ears go back for all of that! They can all read me like a book! I'm a pure clown…'
I drag myself back to my room.
And I wait.
And I. Wait.
"Ugh…I don't get all these old people's books. I have no idea how my dad was even able to get through them all…"
I put my paws over my eyes, as I hear a knock on the side of the doorframe. It's Ella.
"Hey Jack, remember I mentioned to you I was thinking about a boat ride? Well, they just said Yes to it! Woo!"
"We need to keep her from literally tearing the house down, or eating it. So maybe looking at a fish or two can be fun for her, But I'm sure you're definitely gonna make extra fun for her. She loves being around you!"
"Aw, sounds great! Anything to get out of this place for a bit!" I get up and follow her.
I stand for a brief moment and stare down the long rocky dirt path, this is a place a little too familiar, for such a (now unusual) height.
"Jack! Jack!" Izzy runs aside me, then runs in front, "Look Look! I found some blueberries! I tried bringing them to you, but I ate them!"
I crack up as I look behind me to my right to watch as Ella crouched down, to be closer to Izzy.
"Aw, Izzy. You begged so much for me to bring a bag, and you're eating them all without even notifying me."
Izzy pouts, and apologies. Ella responds by petting her head, behind the ears, giving her the full rundown, she looked so much happier afterwards. It's cute.
'heh. Izzy's lucky, I wouldn't want to ever ask anyone to pet me.'
Ella then turned to me and gave me some light pats on the head.
…Which I totally showed plenty of admiration for.
"It's October, October 7th. Fall is gonna set in soon." Ella said.
"You're both lookin' great. I'm happy I'm at least taking you two for a walk." She gets up
"Jack, Remember…how often we both came up here?"
"Even when there was small or even larger family gatherings, we would just sorta escape for a while up here. We would travel up this road all the way up the lake, and chat and chat…" She snickers. "We could always talk for ages and now…" She's sorta forced to look down to see me, "It doesn't really matter that you transformed, you're still there. And I think, contrary to some common belief–It's definitely a good thing you transformed, and you're going to see why."
"Thing is, it looks like a lot of Elementals become feral now…"
"Tucker Carlson Tonight has never been as jam-packed."
"Every single one and their mama has an opinion on Elementals now, and a lot of them aren't too positive."
"Constant footage of the raw strength of Elementals being put to 'use' in cities, countryside…no one is seemingly safe. Not even our local area."
"I won't ask any questions like that to you for the time being."
"…"
"The only way to actually, and properly kill another Elemental…"
"Is with another Elemental."
She continues to walk again, with Izzy now happily hopping around her as I then quickly run up beside her
"All of this constant Media coverage…it's been a wildfire. There are 10 million people living in New York City! Countless roads and entire buildings have been completely ruined or destroyed!"
"Wait wait! Lemme get this Bush!"
Ella and I Stop, and watch Izzy look around a random bush amusingly.
"…The world's an absolute joke to some, not so mentally healthy people. Pokémon…transformation? If the purge is real, and if you can release 3000 degree flames effortlessly. Why not go apeshit? Have some fun. It's not like it's all gonna last too long anyways."
"And then be able to stay alive after being shot 3 times."
"You may see it as a curse, Jack. But with what you have been given, it might be your very benefit."
"…We just gotta make sure you don't go like, feral."
"Your friend will definitely never be forgotten though."
'…for the wrong reasons.'
Izzy returns with a big ass stick.
"Here, you two!"
"I'm happy I was able to actually dress you two up a bit, you're both looking sweet! Here, stand near each other, lemme me take a picture with my phone."
"Izzy, throw the stick to the side"
"No! I want this!"
"Fine, you're gonna look silly though"
Izzy and I stand and pose next to each other.
Click!
"I'm happy you allowed me to cut holes into your bucket hat, Jack. You look really like yourself now. It's you."
"If I wanted to get any actual continued use in this, it had to happen. It's an evolution, In order to make it work, we have to cut out some things. Just like I've had to do with my past self."
'I've had this hat since I was like 4 years old. It's my trusty, good old, green bucket hat. I love it.''
'Even for cloudy days, which aren't so bad for elementals like myself, it's become a practical necessity for sunny days for me. It keeps at least some of the blistering sun off of me. Keeps it out of my eyes, and keeps me cool.'
"How do you like your bow Izzy?" i ask her
"I don't wanna lose it! I hate that I have to worry about it when I stick my head in bushes! I don't want it to get stuck!"
The Bow is a dark shade of purple. I like that color. And I recently found out it's her favorite color too.
"I'll be sure to get it for you if it gets stuck, I'll show you my magic moving powers."
"Elemental conscience, Jack. It's something I've been really looking into, and since I've always wanted to go to college for Environmental Science and Nature, and was properly supposed to if this didn't happen. You've given the best gift of all, Jack."
"A trustworthy and personal test subject."
"With everything about Elementals now, calls for action growing stronger to face up to them, yet also calls for calm and peacefulness for cooperation, and wanting to take time to find a solution. Why not ask questions to someone I trust very much?"
"Most importantly, isn't known to be stupid. I'm sure with your little nocturnal brain of yours has really pumped out some really interesting ideas."
'Probably would get me on an even larger list if I was honest and I said them publicly.'
"Do your feet ever hurt now Jack? I mean, you don't even have shoes."
"Feet?" I said to myself, stopping. lifting my paw up to myself to observe.
I move my toes. It's still freaky. The claws don't make it better, but through another lens of perspective, it could be really cool.
"My aunt Susie, your mom."
"I wasn't supposed to tell you this" she then says with a smile.
"But I actually had to teach her how to clip Elemental claws for her to do them to you, and I heard how much you moved that clipper around with that little noggin of yours"
she puts a hand to the side of her mouth, and with her other hand, points to Izzy. She then whispers.
"She's a monster when it comes to that. I don't wanna do that ever again, but I will probably have to…"
"I'm debating even asking you, you can probably take…I dunno, a swift to the face?"
I'm deadpan.
"because when she gets powers?"
She looks back at Izzy. Who is now just digging in the gravel.
"She's gonna be an absolute beast to manage. Ugh, either by not being recognized or just too much of a hassle. We may see a lot of elemental orphans."
I see Izzy actively shiver.
'Fuck'
"You're gonna be perfectly fine if you stay near us! You're gonna be fine. It takes like, an hour for it to leak out completely."
"How long is an hour?" Izzy Asks me
"Uhh, long time."
Izzy looks really confused.
"Just don't go in the damn water okay."
"Heya, Izzy. Don't get your fur messed up too much just yet, because we've made it!" Ella says. "Jack, sometimes you have to explain what it's like to be…so small now."
I take my paw firmly on the ground, then do a small shrug with my other paw
"Just crouch and you're gonna see simply."
"Here, Jack. I don't get exactly what you mean, maybe do another motion?"
I crouch and then uncrouch multiple times, when I'm crouched, I take my paw and peer out into the distance, looking around like how even a pirate would.
"You wish to look out with binoculars?"
Ella crouches down, having gotten the message.
"Ah, a lot simpler. I'm dumb."
"Well, What do you see then Jack?"
"…"
There is a large campsite right by my grandmother's cabin, and right by that campsite is a large lake. His campsite is not small. In fact, there are multiple buildings, a small cafeteria, and other cabins. If my memory serves me well, it's rented out to many different groups throughout the year. I think even my sister Missy stayed there for a week for Girl Scout camp. The lake near the campsite is open though, I have only been there quite a few times. One time I even caught a fish! It was a 13-centimeter-long codfish. Yeah. Pretty large. I was so proud of it that I named one of my later bottle rockets the "CodFish" The second it went into the air, it hit a power line and exploded, but I don't talk about that part to people
"I've brought all the stuff we could ever need, some water, and some other surprises," Ella said, walking down to the waterfront.
"If this was any other day, Ella. Like a couple of months ago. They would've never allowed us to do this"
I look towards the small rowboat.
"especially with Izzy,"
"But frankly it gets us out of their hair I suppose."
"Jack, are there gonna be any sharks?" Izzy asks me.
"No, there is not. That's Florida, now just stand there while Ella and I get the boat into the water."
I watch Ella as she turns the boat on its side, then we end up pushing it together so the open part is now on its top.
She then slowly picks up Izzy, petting her pack, and then plops her into the boat.
I put my front legs on the ridge of the boat to peer inside.
I see Izzy jump onto what would be typically perfectly fine for a human butt to be on, but for a quadruped? From seeing her slip almost clean off, her four paws trying to stay as close together as possible, it doesn't seem too effective.
Ella then puts on Izzy a small life jacket thing, which Izzy didn't really like, and then Izzy said to Ella that she didn't want to wear it. But Ella saying it's the rules sorta made her stop.
"Jack, come along now, let's push it in"
Ella and I push the boat into the water, watching it as it gently moves in.
"Wee!" I heard Izzy Excitedly yell out, as Ella and her, of course, longer legs effortlessly stepped into the boat, I quickly run through the water, it being up to my paws, and Jumped into the boat. It rocked quite a bit. But it was successful.
Ella Sat down right behind me, grabbed a paddle, and pushed us out further, we're actually heading into the water
Facing Ella, I ask
"Should I sit or stand on the floor of the boat? It's getting rocky, or should I try on the seat?"
"If you're hungry I only brought like peanut butter crackers, though I'll save them for later" She responds.
"Right…" I respond, "Thanks"
The boat's all metal, so it isn't really the fanciest thing, but it sure as hell works as I sit on the middle seat. As it's of course a damn row boat, Ella's in the back of it, I'm in the middle, and Izzy's at the front.
'I'm 100% sure that multiple times I'll wonder why we even brought Izzy…'
Ella begins to paddle, as I gaze out across the water. It's a pleasant little enclosure here on the lake, there are a few houses quite a far distance away across where we're at. There's even a smaller island just ahead to my right with some trees. Probably no larger than a front lawn
'But it would've been rude not to bring her, she does look cute in that little red life jacket, I give her points for that at least.'
I would've laid back, but I would've fallen backward on my back like an idiot.
'It's pleasant out, not too many clouds as I had hoped, but it's pretty good.' I leaned over the side, to see if there were any random fish or things at the bottom I could spot. But all I can see is my reflection.
I'm taken a bit back by it. I've inadvertently avoided mirrors too much ever since the transformation.
The red eyes just stared back at me. My eyes.
My hat, being quite familiar, does bring me comfort. It's me. I'm still me.
"When you look around, do you see things with a reddish hue now?" Ella asks me.
"Huh? What?" I pick my head up and turn to her. Realizing it's fruitless to explain in great detail.
"No. Not Really…No. just really eyes, yaknow?"
I Scoot more to face her.
"Like, my eyes are definitely different. Things are sharper, other things…clearer."
remembering the specific question, I shake my head no.
"Heh, What would totally make your 'look' be fully complete right now is a pair of sunglasses."
"…where the hell we would put them on your face, I don't know. Maybe something on your little black muzzle of yours" Ella then continues
"Speaking of such…Haha. Like, you might see what I'm talking about here Jack."
"I'm literally talking with a seemingly nocturnal moon creature like my cousin. You don't get to do this with any other kind of animal."
"They don't have the Cognitive and mental abilities as humans have, and now there's all of you."
"Now, there are always quirks to it all from what I've seen, you can't fib that things mentally have changed for you, huh?"
I slowly shake my head
"Deciphering what makes your new little body tick, is gonna help me understand more. Don't forget all night times! Do they look different?"
I ponder to myself
"The Night Time? Think of it like…"
"…in the early morning when everything is still dark, and gloomy. But that's literally the night, but also brighter and clearer…but you don't feel that stinging from the sun on your eyes."
"…not only is it easier to see, it just brings me more peace of mind."
"I was outside on my own near my house. Now…it could've been like a wolf, of course. But it was different, completely different. Its body parts were completely thrown all over the place. I couldn't even find its right hind leg. It seemed to be a few days old."
"why the fuck did she even look for any one of the limbs?" I thought
"There are always assholes with their damn ATVs, they make even the roads their own courses. Getting their friends with their big ass trucks to block intersections."
"Completely zero regard for anyone else, except for their 'championships'."
"They've…stopped. Supposedly one of their many trails, something went horribly wrong. I don't know what happened if they were an idiot and chased after something or if something chased after them. But it ended up really hurting one of them, completely destroying one of their vehicles. I think it got literally picked up and Thrown at the guy."
"Heh. Now they're out for good old revenge. And they literally asked me to help out what exactly that shit was? Like bro? I don't want to get involved in your shit?"
"Anyways, when I saw that deer, and later heard of that incident. It got me thinking."
"Have you ever felt that?"
"The urge to go out and hunt."
I Glaze down at the water to collect myself then back to Ella "To…hunt?" I continue "well uh…hah that's totally preposterous."
"Like, even from your Dex entries. All of this? Is exactly your kind of environment." Ella informs me
"The shady forest."
"All the brush and bushes."
"The trees to creep around"
"…"
"wha…" I then get up, to look around from the center of the boat, we're practically in the middle of the lake. I'm dead center. As I turn my head all around, I realize I'm practically surrounded. There's no denying it…there's no doubt. It's all just there…
It's all… permanent. It's always there. No matter where I'll be. They'll all stand. The trees will all permanently stand.
every crunch of the leaves I'll always hear…then it's smell…then it's movement…then it's…
…
"Rabbits…I'll hunt Rabbits. That's what I'll hunt." I stare back to her
"That's what it is."
"From The Ways your eyes just darted around, hella yeah you have." Ella responded nonchalantly.
My ears pull back, that's exactly the opposite I wanted to give…
"What about bunnies?" Izzy asks me, knocking me out of the mood for a moment. But requiring me to think for a moment to respond.
"Oh…uh. They're the same."
"Don't think stuff like that, Izzy."
"It's very unhealthy, you need…"
I cringe, hoping this trope of hers is enough of a distraction.
"…Mac and cheese more than anything I might've been mumbling about."
I sigh
I rub my eyes with my paw with a small groan.
"…I did nottt sign up for this shit."
"What, Jack. Does it conflict in your brain?"
"Yess goddamn it, fucking yes it does"
"Please don't curse around Izzy."
My face contorts immediately.
"Hahah you can't speak but I can still read you like a book."
"You're getting a lot of good 'study' out of this aren't you?" I speak back "When are the humans gonna be tested?"
"Heh. I'm sorry for effectively turning on that switch in your brain." she responds, "But it showed you definitely think about it."
"I mean like, if you were a Vaporeon. Come on, if I started talking about water. You would've felt the same thing! Whatever wacky thoughts or not! Come on…if I was one? I would be here all the time! Yaknow, Fishy fun!"
"I thought it was all over…is there gonna be more moments for us to be animals?" Izzy asks me.
I turn around completely from Ella to Izzy.
"No, that part is all over. All over. You should've had bad memories of that. bad memories."
She pouts, probably for the fact there will be no 'fishy fun'
I turn back to the water 'We all would've had thoughts of that, it's completely natural. Oooh-I'm a moon foxxo! Lookie me go! Lemme do non-human stupid things!'
I turn around and yell backward to Ella.
"Tomfoolery!"
She pets my head.
"Who needs speaking language, when you have such passionate body language."
"Have you been feeling alright, Jack?"
"…"
"…My favorite cereal is cinnamon toast crunch. I like it when it sits in the milk for a couple of minutes and then it gets all soggy. I then eat it. It's softer than the crunch of Honey Nut Cheerios…"
I look back more directly at Ella.
"…Why would they even make a double-stuffed Oreo? It's literally a better Oreo."
I tap my brain with my paw.
"That crap keeps me up at night. And it should for you too."
"They always tried feeding me oatmeal…" Izzy commented.
Ella gives me a massive hug.
"It's all gonna be alright. Every little thing." She says as she rubs the fur on my head.
"There's so much to look forward to still, Jack." She lets go of the hug slightly, looking at me
"We're both lucky it happened when we were young. You already didn't know exactly where you were gonna go. At least your dreams weren't shattered."
"You can adjust. You can be a pioneer in this world. It might even be your big break. You're just gonna make yourself known and be able to stand out from the rest."
"At least you are wise enough to keep yourself from running off and having an absolute 'party' of a week and then dying in a blaze of glory."
"That's what sets you apart from a lot of people, Jack. You're never the person to do that."
"…and it fits perfectly with the sneaky, bulky, Defensive type."
I slowly nod.
The hug is genuine from her, she's really there.
…for all I know she feels like she's hugging a weird dog.
"Couple years from now, Jack?"
"We're gonna look back at this all and laugh!"
"Who knows, maybe I'll hear your voice again. Can you do another Bre for me?"
I begin to laugh to myself lightly with the idea I got into my head. But I go along with it.
"Piss."
"Just like that." She responds to me.
"At least you won't have to pay for a super expensive large apartment, you better leave a human sized chair in the closet."
"Hopefully, even a translator will be out by then. I'm sure of that. all our problems will be largely fixed, and prayers answered."
"I'm literally gonna have to use Kindergarten chairs aren't I." I 'ask' her.
"It would be the greatest bane of my existence to have to literally steal and sit on one of Izzy's red plastic chairs."
"So degrading."
"They're Mine! Get your own!" Izzy grabs onto me and shakes me.
"I will!" I speak back to Izzy.
"And they're gonna be cooler! Blue ones! Cooler than yours."
"That's not fair!"
"If you seriously want em' then we can get them 'later'"
"I'm gonna have to Crouch down won't i?" Ella said in regards to new Elemental housing
"It's gonna be funny.
"Imagine, a whole city block of just Elementals! You can be in like an apartment and I'll like, come visit you every so often."
"Would you live alone? Or would you try for a mate?"
"…N-Nod for mate, shake for Alone!"
I laugh at the question "Ah…Well. Don't plan on anything." I shake my head.
"Izzy still has a lot of years with us. For sure. Hopefully, she's mildly near you in whatever place you eventually get." Ella Remarks.
"Who am I kidding…it's too early for all this."
"Do you see any good Schools for Elementals? Are You ever gonna head back to school?"
!?
"Me? I…I don't think so. I don't really know!" I respond.
"I know enough already. Come on. I know how to multiply, and divide. All that shitty math. What was school gonna teach me, Taxes?"
"What about her?" Ella points to Izzy, who's currently obsessing over some ducks in the water.
"Oy-" I then notice and use psychic to pull her back from the side of the boat, "You were leaning too far out. They're not doing a disco or anything. You can watch 'em here."
"What about all the other young Elemental children?"
"The public school tried for like, 2 weeks after the transformation. Tried to get classes starting again and with Elemental teachers, with some most likely half-assed assignments."
"It hardly lasted 2 days."
"The Bathroom literally went into flames. We literally didn't have correct desks for like half the kids. It looked like an entire zoo!"
"You can like very obvious animals and then you have a ghost candle or like a metal insect or bug. One nerd literally came in with a makeshift robotic grabable claw or something"
"Here. Wait, there were pictures on Snapchat."
"…I never liked Snapchat." I thought to myself.
Ella gets out her phone, and shows me a picture
It's two elemental kids taking a selfie, one of them holding the teacher. A Joltik with a big yellow bow tie in a bug capturer looking completely powerless, who also looks to be panicking. Both of them look like they're having the times of their lives.
There's a caption on it.
"Got us a little piss spider lmao"
She puts her phone away.
"If they went for a third day, it would have all likely burned down the school would've had to literally be rebuilt with steel. They literally don't even have the funding for history classes but what the hell are they gonna do with every child having a flamethrower? With also no will to learn either, it was all more so a joke than anything."
"What are all these Elementals of the future gonna be? I mean, most of them are probably good natured I suppose. But with food prices through the roof and basically, the global economy is dead in the water. Ugh, there are higher things to worry about for many."
"If the first generation never gets a proper education on a mass scale. Then they will be poorer, dumber, and more intent on crime to make things meet. It will literally set 'Elemental Society' into a death spiral."
"I know I'm gonna be alive for the majority of Izzy's life. But stuff like this scares me. She deserves something more than potentially being my 'Pet' for all her life!"
"School was where you make early friends to socialize. Of course, I'm sure she's gonna have lots of chances to socialize… as you have. But it was where early institutions and expectations were set. Don't even get me started on how even a Human-Elemental Family can mess up a lot of people's already dysfunctional lives."
"Everything has gone into wack and the future is gonna pay hard."
I look at Izzy for a moment.
"She's…completely right." I think to myself.
"Elementals are gonna be on the backburner for such a long time. Grr, I bet the majority of humanity will get all the most important jobs! Like the CEOs of massive companies will stay human. The government will likely stay human."
"Humans are the mildest creatures. The world was made for them, literally. Cars, phones, society itself!"
"I can't let any of them hurt Izzy or any Elemental. It's gonna be a monopoly of information and education. Elementals will be seen only by their fear-inducing powers."
"Elementals are, quite literally, the largest threat to the world itself. As the world wasn't made for them."
I grip the side of the boat.
"I will not let them be manipulated by humanity. Not a single one, and they already are controlling them, they are all being failed. Many are groomed to be lap dogs and to be hysterical maniacs to be broadcasted to the world. We will never progress!"
"The idiots out there hoping to be humans again, you can never staple on fake skin and say you're human. You're just living a lie and you need to move the fuck on or else you're gonna die or be manipulated to show…"
"That you're really sentient in this world. The right of being sentient is being questioned."
"The start of the New Humanity and New Elementality will be born out of violence and bloodshed."
"There has to be a new world. A world of just Elementals."
"There has to be a world of just Humans as well."
"It's the only way for even an ounce of society to progress."
"Hey Jack!"
"Can you at least lift the duck into the air!"
My current line of thought is interrupted and for good reason. I wanna do some tomfoolery.
"How am I…gonna do this?"
The duck is just currently casually minding his own business. Occasionally floating away slightly from the excited screams of an Eevee.
"Are my powers even strong enough for this shit?"
I begin to patiently watch the duck, its movement, the periodic ruffle of its feathers, when it sticks its beak into the water.
It's a round thing, heh. The legs kicking in the water. I try to get a clear image of it in my head. My powers don't seem to work well when my mind is clogged. We all know that feeling. But when it feels free, it's so much smoother.
it's probably…squishy?
Shit, it's moving away.
I try to think of it as like a bowl, slowly lifting out of the water.
quack quack…fucker. Eeee…
I feel a stain, a weight. It came suddenly so my head sorta went down slightly. It feels like desperately pulling a rope with just your mouth and head.
lift…
The duck begins to rise. Its feet slowly come out of the water.
"Ah-Ha!"
The duck begins to notice, and begins to flap rapidly to fly. I never really was holding it place, to begin with.
"No! Wait, don't go!"
As it begins to fly away, I yank back as hard as I could, sending the duck off balance and hitting diagonally into the water.
The duck recuperates quickly and flies away as if its life was in danger.
"Bye duck!" Izzy yells out, then looks at me.
"I thought you were gonna hold it in place and make it do funny things!"
"I really…can't do that. Maybe, it'll take a longggg time. I'm not a psychic type Pokémon, remember?"
"That sucks." Izzy responds.
"I thought you were gonna break its neck for a moment there, Jack. Haha" Ella gave me a small pat on the head.
"Even if it's not the strongest. At least you can hold, like, an apple or something. It's sooo much Better than nothing."
"The most impressive party trick you have, other than like."
"Glowing."
"That Psychic might be the difference for a Job in the future for you Jack."
"Even a keyboard job would even work, pretty anticlimactic am I right?"
"…Yeah. Anticlimactic."
"Now, I'm pretty hungry. Do you have a Peanut Butter Sandwich I can narth down?" I ask her.
"Little Ole edgy fox is now an office worker." She pets me with some glee.
"fuck…" I respond, knowing full well I'll have to communicate that.
and I most surely will. Because I'm hungry enough to eat a duck.
I feel the crackle of gravel beneath my feet even more as I walk back with them.
…in a way. The longer we were out there. The more I've dwelled and dreaded this seemingly 'little' thing. The less I enjoyed it, it was like an all consuming mass.
I don't even want to bring it up…it'll be pointless and stupid. I don't even have paper, it would just get soggy…who wants soggy paper? Not me.
Ugh, truly. I am alone. In all ways except name, I am alone.
I wander down the steep road, with Izzy and Ella. Izzy's doing good. Heh…Probably out there to not possibly cause harm to the older folk or just people in general as they start to arrive.
And it seems like everyone is already here…judging…by all the cars.
"Hey, Jack. Why have you stopped?"
"Oh, nothing. Just looking at the… license plates."
"Aren't you hungry? Because I'm pretty hungry." Ella comments.
I nod in response.
As we travel down the road. The left is the cabin I've been staying in, and the right, is a slightly larger one. With a large backyard, and even a wooden cover in the center with…well. Tables older than my mother. This whole place has historically been my families and extended families area.
The same place where everything is today.
I begin to walk in from around the side.
'oh-'
"Heyy! It's Jack! They're back!"
"Wow, they lived! That's a good precedent…though is quite a low bar"
"How was your trip! Did you all have fun? Izzy looks like she had fun."
I'm immediately greeted with loud noises galore, waves, compliments, and observations from many many different people. I admit, I almost tripped over myself…which probably isn't a good look. I can't really wave and walk at the same time.
I still waddle on though, but I'm still definitely the star of the whole show.
"Hi! Hi! Hi!, hello, Yes, hiiiya" I greet simply, walking up to them. Nodding, smiling…
'This is absolutely horrendous. Why? This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Ahh, so excited to see the marvel of the strange moon creature'
'Oooh, better hype it to him. Better make him wanna stay.'
'Make him happy. Make sure he doesn't do anything erratic…'
'Make sure he's calm…'
I wandered over to a pole, near where some tables had some food. Every so often, people just have to include me in their happy happy stories…'
My breathing gets more and more shallow.
'The more I hear about me, about what I've been doing or looking like- the more I feel like my breath is getting sucked out of me.
'If I just have some food, that'll take some attention away. Keep my objective, as long as I don't spill or drop anything.'
'…just fucking stop it. Just stop with all the damn acts, damn fucking acts. I know what I am.'
'I can't. I can't. I can't let this go wrong.'
'I fucking can't.'
'If I mess up I would be functionally dead in all ways, I'll be ruined, tarnished, spoiled, and tainted like an old piece of meat left out to shrivel up and die in the sun.'
'…That's all there is left of me at this point. I'm just…literally poison itself.'
'…On me…shit…literally on me as well haha. I sweat literal poison.'
I just sit there, 'hanging' out quietly…
I cannot afford to move an itch.
'…I…I don't even know what else to say…'
'…I can only imagine how everyone here actually perceives me.'
'A blemish on what this thing formally was…I suppose-I was truly broken from the start.'
"Heya Jack!" my aunt Cathy comes up to me, "look. I added black frosting to this piece of cake, what do you think it makes you think about? Isn't it neat? I put on a bit of gray as well."
I lift up the cake, I glance around me. Seems like everyone's preoccupied. I look back at it
"I have to at least eat…a bit of it. I can't just leave it."
I squint my eyes and bite the cake. It's so frigid. Argh, I hate frosting, it tastes like a worse muffin.
I chew and I gulp, I open my eyes, and There's just a large bite on just the top of it, Jeez.
I give out a shuddering sigh…at least I did that.
I put the plate higher up next to me…
…and so. For the time being. I sat, looking in whatever random general direction pleased me.
And I sat there. What else was I supposed to do?
I was…far enough from everyone else.
I sat there silently, though unfortunately, I had already accidentally locked eyes with some people.
You will never understand how that feels. You avoid all forms of contact, and then you're staring at the right place at the wrong time. Stare into nothingness and people will think you're crazy, or sleepy. Or something of the same!
It completely shatters whatever kind of security I have. My ears immediately move whenever I hear a 'Jack.'
it plunges you into somewhere completely uncertain, and unexpected. And into something, you don't even want to be a part of.
"Hey, Jack." One of my many older male relatives waves me over.
I comply. It seems like they were definitely talking about me.
"I've heard even you have gotten have dark magic in you now or whatnot"
'…God, not 'dark magic' now I bet they believe I'm infused in it or something…changed me.'
I nod. Yes, I do.
"Here. Jack's bouta show us a trick." He puts his hand out to me. In the palm, is his lighter.
"Can you lift that?"
"Yeah, sure," I respond.
It's…heavier than I expected. But I lift and lift. I didn't even feel like even in the best shape for even doing this thing, so I'm really doing overtime for this.
I watch it closely as it moves up from the palm, and Into the air toward me. It's rectangular, silver, and shiny.
"Great, Great…if I can do this trick then can I just sit back for sometime. Maybe I even glow for them…"
Suddenly…it slips out of my grip and it falls in front of everyone.
'…Oh…fuck.'
I step back for a moment, I look down. To my absolute horror, it's obviously completely broken.
'No, NO.'
"I-I am, So Sorry." I speak up.
he gives me a small pat on the head, and I wince.
"Aw Jack, come on. I wasn't gonna hurt ya."
Oh god, they know they must think I'm insane.
"Jack, is something wrong?"
"Haha, No! I-I'm not!"
'Fucking shit. Fucking shit! I completely just ruined that. I destroyed it. I completely fucked that up. In front of EVERYONE.'
"Are you sure?"
'How in fucks sake am I gonna explain I'm sorry while planning not to seem insane? I've ruined that, It's apparent. I just ruined that.'
I struggle to maintain a stable outside appearance. But I can't, I can't. Look at the mess I made. I don't KNOW THIS BODY WELL ENOUGH.
'Throwing everything into question…how do I…? I can't. What should I say?'
"Jack? Hello?"
One of them snaps their fingers.
"…"
The endless flood of thoughts. It just never ends, it never stops, I'm completely frozen. I don't know what to do, every second it gets worse and worse and worse…it hurts more to stand still but hurts even more to move. Moving can be seen in so many ways, I can't determine it, I don't know how, how should I, the situation is so fast, yet I'm so slow.
"…"
My muscles tense up, I feel my paws clench. I want to scream and disappear but I can't. I just want to go back…that's all I want truly…make it all right…make it better, correct, happy ideal.
but those are all fallacies. I'm never getting that.
I feel like I'm about to cry. How did I let this occur? Not just this…damn stupid…RAHHH! I showed everyone how truly stupid I am, how I can't act, how I can't even seem civil. I'm something else here. I'm something to be tried to be understood, I'm something to be watched and studied, I'm something to be planned out how to be around. Everything is a façade, nothing is at face value but my own. And I'm only a frozen twitchy figure. You don't see a human.
"…"
I staggeringly lift my paw up- slowly, shakily. I'm feeling the burn as I step, placing all of my weight on it and pushing down into the ground. I want to push it down so hard I break it. I end up taking a whole step forward away from everyone.
With increasing difficulty… and efficiency.… I take another step with my left.
I cannot stop now. In a way… hahah… hahahahah... It gives me raw strength… Raw power.
My steps turn into a walk further away from everyone.
I feel emboldened, I feel… a grip on reality. A grip on myself. A grip of life! A grip of relief. I forget what I was even just walking about for. But I don't feel like stopping this stroll whatsoever.
But still, I leave.
I've never felt such a raw feeling in ages. I felt a pull. I felt relief. I grabbed a bundle of empowerment; I've taken control of myself. Not dragged or pulled left to right, up and down by invisible strings of guilt and pressure.
It's all over. My objective to get away from everything, everyone, and this whole circus, has long been overdue.
I do not care how long I walk for, I want this forever. I am now alive.
I smile, with some extra bounce in my step.
I am now alive.
I took back my life. I grabbed it and held it close. I 'ran' with it, not with a bombardment of fireworks- with but a calm demeanor.
For once. I don't need anything, or anyone else.
I have never felt this power before. I love it. It's there, it's all there, it's always been there. All I needed to do was push. I was so afraid to push for all these months… and here I am.
Push.
I cross the street.
Push.
Push.
And Push.
I have set a precedent. One not of me being meek. But one of strength and willpower. Strength and will, shall conquer all. And I have shown them all, all of them. I have that.
That's what's inside me. I can breathe it. I can act! I can fight! I can…
Push! And be who I am!
I will not let them decide my fate. I have taken back my life.
I saw these strings all around me. I was restrained, and I was suffocating.
So I cut them.
I Have finally cut my strings.
For once…I truly am alive. It doesn't matter anymore.
hahahaahhaah…
I showed myself to be greater than I was, and now I shall…breathe.
I breathe the clearest breath I have done since the transformation. All of the weights have been lifted. All of them, the weights of such damn management, haha. Fuck it. I throw it off. I quit.
I feel a small ounce of doubt begins to trace back into my mind…before disappearing.
'I will not strive to be their number one humanistic Umbreon. I do not care what they think of me. Because it doesn't matter. This is an opportunity…like I've always said. I went for it.'
'I've cut my worries out. What they think doesn't matter a damn.'
I pull up onto the door with my hind legs, and I push the front door of the cabin open.
'…'
It's quiet
'Yaknow what…'
I push open the slide that leads into my room
'I'm happy.'
I slowly breathe in and out
'Ah…I'm genuinely happy. The largest dilemma is gone.'
'I'm going to hang out in my room while they have their fun too. I'm sure they won't mind. After all, it'll be more normal.'
'I'm sure overall, it'll be all better for all of them to have a break from me.'
'Because I'm not Normal.'
