Magic must defeat magi-NOT!
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
I THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING!
...III...
Jackie mused on the last several hours...
Good news: They got the shield back.
"I stole the shield from that big guy!" Exclaimed Cave happily.
Bad News: The shield wasn't important...
"Yeah, I swiped it with some weird little rock with a roster on it that Jade had in her pocket!" Exclaimed Cave while everyone face-palmed and groaned...
Good news: Captain Jack was taking magic serious...
Magic must defeat magic!" Shouts Uncle
Bad news: But that was only because his 'nephew' had proven his existence-
"With all due respect Uncle, I refuse to let such a statement stand! BEHOLD THE MIGHT OF SCIENCE!" He threw down grenade who's shrapnel formed a detailed map of the next talisman location...sadly it was hard to appreciate that with everyone groaning in the broken wreckage of Section 13!
-in the worst way possible!
Good news: Jade got home safely...
SPLASH!
Went the water that destroyed her paper covering-
FLASH!
Went the dozens of picture phones.
HONK!
Went the angry motorists as a sobbing jade streaked through...
Bad news: Her dignity...not so much...
"I HATE MY LIFE!"
...
After things...MOSTLY settled down. They tried to figure out WHO Cave actually was.
Evidently 'nephew was too simplistic of a term. He was actually his uncles, mothers, daughter, cousins, nieces, sisters, second aunts, sixth cousin's, third mothers, grandma's, 13th nephews, son's GREAT nephew...
but there was no way they were going to remember all that , so for simplicity sake they kept calling him nephew.
They TRIED to call child services or any of the other relatives that Cave had apparently been sent to before him about the situation...but all their phones seemed to have been discontinued...and their addresses outdated...
Captain Black would look into it...AFTER he rebuilt Section 13 and dealt with the Dark Hand.
So without much choice...Cave was allowed to live with then.
"...Are you sure I can't just go back to China?"
"For the last time Jade, NO!"
...
Thankfully even with Section 13 mainly rubble and most of their assets incapacitated...Captain Black could Still get Jackie where he needed to go to find talismans, which apparently was a Mayan Pyramid in the middle of Mexico
Naturally he left his family behind to go look for it solo as he flew to his destination...
So naturally, Jade snuck onboard to go with him...
Jade snicked as she enjoyed the first class seat she'd conned. "Heh, this was too easy." She took a sip.
"I'll say!"
Jade spits it back out as she finds her 'cousin' inexplicably riding with her!
"Gah! Cave!? What are you doing here?! Your supposed to be staying home!"
"Uh...you mean like you?" He points out flatly.
Jade groans, "Look, why are you here?"
"I feel bad about what happened last time", explained Cave. "I want to make up for it."
Jade pinches the bridge of her nose, she knew she was going to regret this...but it would be hypocritical of her to flat out shut him down as she was basically wanting to do the same thing here. "Okay...I'll bite...how?"
"Well...it occurred to me that Jackie getting TO the objective BEFORE the Darkhand would significantly improve his chances of success!"
Jade gave him a weird look, "Okay...weird way of summing up the mission...but YEAH, technically that's true...so?"
"Well I have just the thing for that!" He exclaims happily as he brings up a strange doo-hickey and slaps it on the side of the plane's hull before Jade can even blink. weird circuitry glyp's start to grow from the device and spread throughout the hull..reminding a now VERY unnerved Jade of a corrupting virus...
"This nanite-virus will modify and redirect the plane! Making it go hundreds of times faster to Uncle Jackie's destination!" Announces Cave proudly.
"Wait, 'destination'? Uh, you mean the AIRPORT right?" Asked an increasingly panicked Jade desperately.
Cave looked her confused, "The what now?"
BOOM!
...earlier...
Fin lead the rest of his fellow Dark hand through the desert's of Mexico, "Alright guys, let's not kid ourselves. We got insanely lucky with that last mission! So we need to focus! Lucky breaks like that won't just fall out of the sky again, so we-
BOOM!
Much to their surprise a plane went and crashed into the pyramid they'd come to investigate, causing it to explode!
CLUNK!
And start raining Mayan gold and jewels on them?!
"I take it back! Let the good times keep falling!" Whoops Fin and the other Dark hand members as they eagerly ran around with baskets to catch the treasure. Even Tohru let a rare smile crack as he did likewise...
Sadly, the rest of Mexico was not so lucky. For while the Dark hand go the pleasure of the contents of a- until then -undiscovered vein of treasure that got popped out of the ground like a cork by the sheer force of the planes impact-
FWOOM!
Everyone ELSE just got a face full of the magma that ALSO got forced out...
How dose that even make sense?!" Shouted a very badly wounded Jackie as he was forcibly rolled from the crash site through sheer momentum, "There wasn't even an active volcano anywhere near here!" He shouted in horrified bafflement.
Jade said nothing...she was too busy flying through the air after being thrown through the windshield glass upon impact...
Shaking away the pain of getting all sliced up by the glass shards, she tried to grab the branch of tree speeding toward her-
CRACK!
RIP!
-Which accomplished NOTHING except giving her a nasty smack...and ripping off her clothes on said branch.
A now naked Jade continues to fly through the air, 'Well at least when I make a crater my shame, will be mine alone in this vast, secluded desert...yeah, this vast desert full of...CACTUS!?"
Jade barely had time to register the large field of cactus before-
CRASH!
OW!
Jade cried in pain as seemingly ever square inch of her was pin-cushioned as her naked body tumbled through the seemingly endless cactus!
Jade finally stops, her who body upside down and forcibly slammed/stuck against a massive cactus, her naked rear spiked full of quills and forced in an awkward 'presenting' postion...
Jade moaned, "I..I actually wish someone would come now..." She sobbed...
VROOM!
BEEP!
Ladies and gentleman if you look to your left you'll see a rare 'full moon in the afternoon, without a warning in the morning!'"
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Shouted Jade helpless as the tourist jeep took hundreds of pictures of her exposed derriere...
...III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
Feel like I'm writing too slow? Feel free to adopt!
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