Chapter 5.
When most people hear the word "chimpanzee," they almost automatically think of Cheetah. The cute and cuddly primate companion in all of Johnny Weismuller's "Tarzan" films. But, the frightening truth is that most chimps (especially the males) can grow to the size of an adult gorilla. And, display twice the ferocity!
Such was the case with Alice: a she-chimp in Victorian drag.
"Great Scott!" exclaimed Robin: "Jay Leno was right. People should _never_ dress up their pets."
"This is no time for levity," admonished the Dark Knight: "Stay down, while I get up. Then, while I distract her, you throw one of your Taser-angs."
"You really think that will work?"
Batman shrugged: "Nothing ventured/nothing gained."
"The motto of every bankrupt member of Gamblers' Anonymous," muttered the Teen Wonder.
Yet, despite this tension-relieving banter (or, perhaps, because of it), the Dynamic Duo carried out their plan to the letter. Unfortunately, Robin's doubts proved well-founded. Voltage that would have instantly rendered unconscious two human males, of the same size and weight, merely angered Alice! Thereby compelling Batman to somersault out of her path as she sprang forward. Eagerly trying to catch him. . .
. . .and tear him limb from limb.
Meanwhile, on the stairway leading up to Rupert Thorne's office, Jean-Luc Picard and company were trying to make their way past Thorne's in-house security reserves. Unfortunately, the latter were being kept pinned down.
"Captain," whispered Will Riker: "I highly recommend that we discretely employ our phasers. Minimum stun!"
"Agreed, Number One."
Five seconds later, every burly gunman in a tuxedo, who had been half-standing/half-kneeling in front of them, was enveloped in a bluish-white light. Following which, they collapsed like the proverbial sacks of wet manure! That, in turn, led to Picard yelling out the phrase he had been rehearsing most of that day.
"Federal agents! Whoever you are, you're under arrest. Lay down your firearm, and come out into the hallway, slowly. Hands clasped behind your head!"
"Clasp this!" came the shouted rejoinder.
A hail of nine-millimeter bullets hit the ceiling above Picard. Leading to a shower of plaster upon his bald head.
Meanwhile, the Dynamic Duo was having their own problems. With Alice's attention still focused on Batman, Robin had tried another method for subduing her. Jumping on her back, and placing his arms around her neck in a sleeper hold! Unfortunately, for him, the thickness of her neck rendered that just as ineffective as the Taser-ang. As a result,. . .
. . .Alice judo-tossed him off her back and on to the flat of his!
She then began moving in for the kill. Yet, just as Batman was about to employ drastic measures (namely; miniature tear gas grenades), he heard a two-way earwig crackle to life, once more.
"Mad Hatter to Alice. Mad Hatter to Alice. Cease and desist. Just grab the money and prepare for evacuation. You, too, Deadshot! Black Spider is en route. Over!"
Two seconds later, a sky crane helicopter (with a triangular arrangement of segmented landing gear) came into hovering position just above the night club roof. Whereupon, a remote-controlled winch began lowering a cable. A cable that Alice immediately jumped on to. The cash-filled burlap sack proving no heavier for her than a paper bag full of feathers!
Yet, even as Batman went over to rouse Robin (so they could both run over to the broken window and shimmy up after the sinister simian), Deadshot came running through. Stopping just long enough to aim his mini-U** at the Dark Knight.
"Stay right where you are, Batman. Your 'bring-them-in-alive' approach might be over-idealistic. But, we share the same goals here. Bringing down Thorne! So, I won't kill you just now. But, I can't promise that attitude will hold if you get in our way a second time."
He then turned and sprinted for the broken window. Jumping on to the dangling cable even as he shouted:
"Mean Berets rule! ! !"
* * * * *
MEANWHILE, OVER IN BLUDHAVEN. . .
Fortunato Maroni had been out of town on business when the Joker had killed off all the controlled organized crime in Bludhaven. Thereby giving new meaning to the English translation of his birth-name; "Lucky." Yet, there was no disputing the fact that his luck had run out when Batman teamed up with African-American District Attorney Harvey Dent to put Maroni behind bars. Indeed, it was said that the last gasp of his lucky streak had been the opportunity to scar Dent with acid. Turning one half of the man's face the same shade of red as raw beef. And, the other half Caucasian-white!
In any event, it was now Carmine Falcone (Maroni's former top lieutenant) who ran organized crime in Gotham City. With some token assistance, of course, from Maroni's son, Salvatore. In fact, it was the latter who was now awaiting certain crates of merchandise to be off-loaded from a certain Russian freighter. In exchange for the other merchandise now sitting in the trailer of the eighteen-wheeler belonging to the "Roman 'Round Trucking Company."
"Hey! Ivanov!" he shouted: "What's the hold-up? I got a delivery to make."
Fyodor Ivanov slowly came forward; hands buried deep in his wind-breaker's pockets. And, with his two ever-present bodyguards flanking him. One behind either shoulder.
"Please to forgive me, tovarisch. But, I think it is time to. . .renegotiate terms of contract."
Salvatore said nothing for ten seconds.
"Define 'renegotiate,'" he finally replied.
The Russian mobster smiled.
"We take your h*** while keeping our guns."
Now, it was Salvatore's turn to smile.
"That would be highly inadvisable on your part."
"Oh, really!" Ivanov exclaimed, arching his eyebrows, sarcastically: "And, who is to be stopping me?"
"I be," replied Deathstroke.
Whereupon, a katana went through both of the Russian bodyguards' necks.
tbc
