Got a review on A03 that reminded me I didn't update here. Sorry!


Chapter 37

Metaphorical Speedbumps

There were levels of getting into trouble in the Halliwell family, Wyatt had once called it "The Stages of Fucked" in their teen years. The first was pleading ignorance to get yourself out of it. This tactic worked well on aunts and uncles who weren't sure what had happened but failed miserably when it came to mothers. The second was denial and this one could, on occasion, fool even the mother though the chances were slim. The last and final stage was acceptance or admitting your wrongdoing and throwing yourself at the mercy of whoever was yelling. That one often got the mother to at least lessen the punishment. He wondered vaguely as they all glared at him, what level he was at now.

Chris backed up hastily as the entire family closed in on him," Listen to me, what are you doing?"

"The pheromones wore off," Phoebe hissed her eyes dark; it was a look he'd only ever seen directed at demons.

Piper was right next to her and the look of anger and disgust on the oldest sister's face made his heart throb painfully, "Right after they took my son."

"You don't seriously believe this is my fault, do you?" he asked hoarsely as he squared his shoulders, ignorance it was, "Did you not see me try to save him?!"

"Oh, right," Paige snarked as she folded her arms and glared, "so it's just a big coincidence we all fell under Mr. Right's spell?"

"And suddenly we all want to bind Wyatt's powers?" Phoebe added and he swallowed thickly, that tidbit was the death sentence of the ignorance stage.

"You see, Chris," David said helpfully, and he glared darkly at the fake man, "what they really want is for you-"

"For you to leave," Paige said coldly, and David nodded his head before scurrying from the room like a kicked puppy.

Alright, denial it was, "This is crazy. Leo, tell them."

"Tell them what?" Leo asked watching him with a wary expression that hadn't been on his face for a while. "I'm wondering the same thing myself."

He knew this, and he knew it well given how many times Wyatt had gotten them in trouble over the years. It was time to accept his fate, this really was his fault no matter how much he'd like to pretend it wasn't. If there was one thing he'd always tried to never run away from even in his younger years, it was his responsibilities.

"Okay, so what if I did?" he folded his arms defensively as well, "I was only trying to protect Wyatt."

Piper looked horrified, "By tricking us?"

"I had to!" He snapped and watched each of them digest that statement.

Phoebe was the first to speak and while she was still angry there was also interest in her eyes. Of all three sisters, she'd been the most dogged about learning the full story of why and how he'd come back here. "Why?"

He hesitated for only a moment before he decided to lay his cards on the table. With all the lies he'd told them since he'd gotten here it was the only thing he could do, "Because the only reason I came here was to keep Wyatt from turning evil."

Leo took a step back, "turning evil?"

"Wait," Paige said holding her hand up with narrowed eyes, "don't you mean stopping evil from hurting him?"

"Same difference, he didn't start a monster. I didn't think you'd help me if you knew the truth. I knew you wouldn't," he said quietly as he looked at them imploringly, all artifice gone from his face. Again it was Phoebe, the empath, who really looked like he'd reached her. "The evil from the future I came back to stop isn't a demon. It's Wyatt."

Piper's expression closed, "You're lying."

"No, I'm not. He's gonna grow up and terrorize people with his powers, take over, kill even," he said sadly, and boy was he ever understating what his brother had become and done.

Leo looked incredulous and like he was about to laugh. "Why should we believe you after all the lies?"

"Because you have to," he said simply, it was a frank truth, and their disbelief didn't change that.

"No, Chris," Piper snapped, and he could see her slipping into that pit of denial she liked to live in when things got tough, "we don't, actually."

"Fine, then don't," he agreed coldly, "Either way we need to save Wyatt now and I'm the one who knows how to do it."

"Really?" Phoebe asked and while she was just as angry as the rest of the family, he could see that part of her that believed him, "How?

"The Order. They used their powers to turn him, to reverse his morality," he said quickly coming up with a reason on the fly, it wasn't very good, but it was passable enough to be plausible. "See, he thinks bad is good now, and good is bad. That's why his shield repelled you."

"So?" Leo sneered.

"So, Wyatt brings his shield up around me," he said lacing his lies with truth, "He thinks I'm a threat."

"Yeah, so do I," Piper growled, and his heart wrenched again at the slowly growing hatred in her gaze.

"Listen to me, they reversed his sense of morality," Chris pleaded, he could save his brother and he knew they would never be able too. He could connect with Wyatt on a level that they could barely understand let alone do themselves. Unlike his adult counterpart, his infant brother would never hurt him once he knew, "That means his shield will protect him from you but not from me. Please, I'm the only one who can save him. Let me help."

"Chris, we don't need your help. I will get my son back, and when I do, I don't wanna see you anymore," Piper said and the loathing in her voice shattered something inside of him.

Piper hated him.

He'd made his mother hate him.

"I'm sorry," he said numbly in a heartbroken whisper, and he saw Phoebe step toward him with wide eyes before he orbed himself away, unable to look at that face anymore.

He landed in the valley that held his hideout and his legs gave out from under him before he even finished solidifying. He could feel the tears coming, the impending avalanche of emotions and several of the small trees around him shook as he breathed in and out trying to rein himself in. It wasn't working. His control was too far gone to get back at this point and he got to his feet to push himself inside his home to collapse into a weeping mess without the chance of anyone witnessing it; the furniture and weapons around him thrown in all directions.

0ooo0ooo0ooo0

It had been over two months now and he wasn't just concerned, he was downright anxious.

He watched Parker through the slits in her box fort contemplatively before he finally gave up and stood to walk over to her. He'd tried it their way, but he knew she'd never come out of this, someone this young didn't see the things she had and just snap back to any kind of normal. She didn't seem to notice when he climbed up and still drew on mechanically while he slid himself into the little space left inside the cardboard structure. She didn't react to him, and he clenched his jaw as he saw the picture of stick figures surrounded by red, she was obsessively working on. He also noticed the fact that there were several of the same drawings scattered around the small area.

"Parker," he said gently as he reached out to place his hand on top of hers, stopping its motion. She didn't look at him, but he knew she was listening. "Hey kid, I'd like to ask you a question. Would you like to forget that day?"

That got her attention and she looked at him with hollow eyes. His stomach felt like it was tearing itself apart as she nodded weakly and then moved to him. Slowly she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He closed his eyes and hugged her tightly before starting:

Child of gentle heart

To you these words I do depart

Bring back the girl that I once knew

And forget the hours that have haunted you

White lights spun around them, and he felt the change in the way she clung to him, it was still desperate and needy, but it seemed stronger and more focused. "I can't remember."

He pushed her back so he could see her clear tear-streaked eyes, "What do you remember?"

"I remember the door breaking open, and... then the woods here. Nothin' else. I remember, remembering but I don't remember it." She looked like she was trying to, and he placed his hand on her cheek to bring her focus back to him.

"Don't try to Parker," he said tenderly as he put a hand on her head then pulled her into another hug. He wasn't sure if the memories were completely gone or just repressed, but he didn't want her trying to trigger them just in case. "You don't want to remember."

"But you do," she said a sob in her voice at the very concept. "You have to remember it."

"And that's ok," he lied, his voice cracking, God did he lie. "It's ok, because if I didn't remember then I couldn't give you the message your mom asked me to. She asked me to tell you to be strong and that she loved you very much."

Parker dissolved into heaving sobs, and he just held her; his face buried in her hair as he rocked her and cried his own silent tears for their lost loved ones. It was a good hour before he could will himself to move and Parker had long since cried herself to sleep in his arms. Dutifully he shifted her so he could carry her bridal style and then carefully made his way out of the supplies to bring to her room in the back corridor. When she was tucked in, he turned to leave and he heard the crinkling of paper beneath his boot. He crouched down and picked up another one of his cousin's drawings, this one was of a badly drawn blonde figure who had a sword pointed at a brown-haired one, and there was a lot of red. Chris thoughtfully ran his tongue along his lower lip before making a decision and he quietly collected all her drawings. Her room finished he moved out into the workroom and collected all of them from the fort.

Many of the drawings were quick stick-figure sketches, but there were a few that were of better quality and had taken time. One of them caught and held his attention enough that he sat on the boxes just staring at it. It was a blonde man using a sword to cut the arm off a much smaller brown-haired figure, while a large black-haired figure and a small brown-haired one lay on off to the side scribbled out in red. A distant part of him wondered which of her sisters this was, while the rest of him hoped he never found out.

"What's wrong?" Prue asked walking in from the main hall to see him sitting on the pile of boxes staring at the paper in his hands. She hadn't seen him this distraught in weeks.

He sniffed but didn't look up at her, "I wanted to get rid of all Parker's drawings before she woke up and saw them. I don't want to risk triggering her."

"Triggering her?" When he didn't answer she considered the statement and then glared at him as their previous arguments came back to her. "Chris, you didn't!"

He exhaled heavily; he wasn't going to be judged for saving his little cousin from his brother's insanity. He stood up and walked over to his potion-making station, he had a lighter there he could use to burn them, "It's been two months aunt Prue, I tried it your way and nothing's changed, I wasn't going to let her suffer anymore."

"That wasn't your decision to make," Prue countered, her voice stern as she followed him, like a parent reprimanding a wayward child. "These things take time. I know it was traumatic for her, but moments like that shape people. I know that from experience. She might not be the person she's supposed to be without those memories. You and I are both who we are because of what happened to us."

"You don't get it," his voice was high, bordering on hysterical, and he swallowed without turning to look at her. He tried his best to stay calm, yelling wasn't going to solve anything. He needed to keep a cool head no matter what if he was going to help people. Situations like this were just good practice for the bigger ones. "I remember the stories. Grandma drowned, you saw a drowning victim. My mom – she- she was hit by an energy ball. Those aren't even in the same universe as what happened to Parker."

He could feel the way she latched onto that statement and wasn't at all surprised about that. He'd yet to talk about that night and Parker certainly hadn't. All anyone knew was that the rest of Phoebe's family was dead, and Parker was alive because he'd saved her. Everything else was a blank and, because Wyatt had blown up the apartment in a fit of rage, there was no evidence left behind.

They didn't know the horror he and his baby cousin had witnessed. "what happened Chris?"

Chris pulled out the worst of them and turned, handing the paper to her so that she could see the horrendous image drawn upon it. It was now or never, he needed her to understand because he didn't think he'd be able to ever relive it again after this. "Wyatt tortured them...He - he brought aunt Phoebe to the point of death and then used his magic to keep her alive so…so that she could watch him slowly hack her husband and children into pieces. He wanted her to answer a question she didn't have the answer to. I got there just before he started in on Parker."

The revulsion and pain on his aunt's face as she stared at the drawing, most likely trying to imagine the real thing though he knew she'd never get close, gave him no satisfaction. The paper fluttered to the floor as her hand rose to her mouth and she looked like she was going to be sick, "Wyatt t-tortured them?!"

"Yes," he wanted to break the news to the eldest Halliwell sister gently, but he couldn't find it in him to tell it and care about her emotional well-being at the same time. He had to be detached, eyes blank and tone without inflection, to make the words leave his mouth. Thankfully she seemed to understand, and she looked heartbroken instead of angry at him for it, "I was cloaked, and Phoebe brought me into a mind space. She…she be-begged me to save Parker and I promised her I'd take care of her. It's what I did, it's what I'm doing, and it's what I'll continue to do. So, if I gotta deal with some personal gain bullshit then so be it. I wasn't going to let my cousin suffer anymore."

"That shouldn't be your responsibility," Prue's voice was mournful and she reached out to touch him, but he pulled away and grabbed the lighter as he grabbed a potion pot. She watched him before continuing, "You're a child too. You shouldn't even be involved."

"I haven't been a kid for a very long time," he placed the pages in and then threw a flaming scrap into the pile. They instantly went up and he watched the fire pushing back the tears that wanted to fall. "Aunt Prue...I saw my mother die, and I've almost died several times. I've been locked alone in a room for months, and then watched my big brother murder what's left of our family. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a kid."

Prue grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, he stiffened at the contact. He didn't want to break down, but clearly, Prue wasn't going to let him out of this without something, "It's impossible to be strong all the time Chris, believe me, I know. I've lived that life, it killed me in the end. If you continue like this, you'll break."

"What choice do I have?" he mumbled quietly into her shoulder as his arms went around her almost against his will. He desperately wanted to hope but he couldn't bring himself to. "Wyatt's my brother, this is my responsibility, and before you say anything, yes, he is, and you know it."

She pulled back and placed a hand on his cheek, searching his watery eyes, "Ok then, but I'm still going to be there to catch you when you fall. You're going to need it. Not to mention I'm not so bad at the demon-killing thing myself. You may have to fight your brother, but that doesn't mean you have to be alone while doing it."

0ooo0ooo0ooo0

He looked at the symbol on his arm and tried to think of another alternative. Once he did this, once Wyatt finally understood the connection between them, it could never be undone. He'd have to keep the link relatively open from now on or risk seriously damaging their relationship now and in the future. Wyatt was too young to understand that kind of rejection outside of the fact that it hurt him. He was intelligent, but he couldn't grasp the intricacies of what Chris had been through, what he was still going through. Yet it was the only thing powerful enough to save him now.

That thought in mind he bit the bullet and cut his finger to activate the seal. The barrier dropping felt like weight easing off his mind and he searched for their connection. It was there, bright and only slightly tainted, at least on his brother's end. Whatever the scepter had done it had started the change in his brother already, but there wasn't any permanent damage, not yet. The darkness sat on the surface, trying to sink into who Wyatt was, and he refused to allow that.

Blood called to blood.

Wyatt , he called gently along the vibrant psychic thread, and he could feel the baby's shock before he grasped onto the link himself.

It was different than what he was used too. His brother was still too young and unpracticed to form words let alone sentences. But Chris could still understand what he was trying to get across through the feelings and images he could see flashing against the back of his eyelids. Wyatt was overjoyed to finally know who he really was, confused about why it took Chris so long to admit it, and he wanted to play but his new friends wouldn't let him.

Later Wyatt, bad men have you now. Where are you? He asked and, while he felt Wyatt's confusion because the people he was with were his friends, he still sent Chris a mental image of where the Order had taken him.

Chris orbed in under Wyatt's shielding as soon as he'd pinpointed his brother's location and tackled the demon in red to the floor. He hadn't realized at the time that the demon had a fireball in his hand and was forced to roll away when the attack followed them down, destroying its creator. As the demon burned away, he felt Wyatt's upset over the loss and confusion about why his brother would kill his new friend. Chris quickly sent reassurance back, laced with a subtle compulsion to calm down, and then glanced up at the sisters who were staring dumbly at him. It was uncomfortable knowing he had the ability to influence his brother like that. As the older and more powerful of the two of them Wyatt had always been the dominant force in their connection, though before his fall from grace the blond had only used that in emergencies. Now Chris understood why.

"Pick up the scepter and point it at Wyatt," he ordered, and Piper picked it up before pausing to look at him searchingly. "Trust me."

Piper pointed the rod and a beam of light shot out of the end straight into Wyatt's eyes. The little boy glowed briefly and then his shield dropped as he remembered who his mother was to him. She ran to pick up his brother and held him close before moving back toward her sisters like Chris was radioactive. He felt a sharp jolt of pain at her continued rejection and Wyatt reached out to him. The baby was confused as to why his mother was acting this way with her other son and wanted to be held by Chris himself.

Again, he had to send a wave of reassurance to the little boy, it's ok. They don't know, I'm not supposed to tell them.

Wyatt seemed put out by that as his mother and Phoebe fussed over him. Then Paige glanced back at him, "how come he didn't raise his shield back up for you?"

"I don't know," he lied as Wyatt's half-formed thoughts ran through the back of his mind excitedly. After everything that had happened, he'd been convinced that the feeling would cause him nothing but pain and yet he felt more relaxed than he had in years with the relatively re-forged bond. "Looks like he trusts me now at least."

Piper, still looking at him like he was going to lash out and hurt her, stepped back further to stand closer to her sisters. The three of them were getting ready to leave and he knew Wyatt was upset by that, it's ok Wy. Go with them I have stuff to do here. I promise I'll come see you later.

That settled the infant and he allowed himself to be orbed away with the sisters who didn't say anything more to him. Now alone he turned to eye the circular altar sitting upon the raised dais. Carefully, wary of traps normally around such things, he walked up to it and held his hand over the stone. He could feel the negative energy radiating off the surface, it was an emulator, this was how they'd figured out how to corrupt his brother. He hummed thoughtfully to himself as he pulled out a sharpie and started to sketch a seal onto the stone. Wyatt had used one of these to try and find a way around the magic he used to protect his people from talking. That was lucky. He didn't have to waste time researching how to destroy this thing so that it could never be used again.

The seal done, he rubbed the cut on his finger to get the blood flowing again and tapped the little bit that came to the surface against the drawing. The seal glowed brightly then faded away as the stone cracked in two before starting to disintegrate to the ground.

"What have you done?" a voice cried as a man dressed in all black shimmered in across from him.

"Less than what I'm going to do to you," Chris snarled as he looked up, his eyes dark and he held up his hand effectively cutting off the demon's oxygen. A sneer crossed his lips, "You have no idea what your little plan just cost me."

The still choking demon went flying and hit a wall hard. This was someone he didn't have to worry about crossing the line with and he intended to take full advantage of that. The demon was stunned and frightened as he looked up at him, "Who are you?!"

Chris hopped off the dais and stalked slowly toward his prey, "My name's not important, what I want is. I want to know everyone that was involved, now."

"Why the fuck would I tell you?" he snapped looking around wildly for an escape, he must have realized he couldn't shimmer anymore. "I'd be a dead man!"

Chris' had twitched upward, and the demon was held off the floor by his neck, "You're a dead man now. The only question is how much I hurt you before I kill you. Names?!"

It turned out he'd gotten lucky for once; this demon was a power grabber not a true believer. Which only made sense, the true believers would have stayed and fought, they were likely all dead. It was the others he wanted, the ones that ran. They had an idea about his brother being their future dark lord and savior that he wanted to eradicate. It was the best way to ensure that, at least this group, never came after Wyatt again.

He killed the demon after he made sure the creature had no more information for him and had to pull himself back. He was in no fit state, emotionally or mentally, to go hunting in the underworld tonight. He'd done that once during the Cleaners incident and been almost disemboweled for his trouble. He needed to collect himself and refocus, so he headed to the top of the Golden Gate again where he sat and let the day's events process.

"Good place to think, isn't it?" Leo asked as he appeared on the tower next to him.

Chris chuckled at the injustice of the universe, that he had to talk to Leo of all people when he already felt so low, "what do you want?"

"Just to talk," the Elder said with a shrug, "You know, trust, Chris, is a precious commodity. Once you lose it, it's pretty hard to get it back."

"What," he snapped, "did you read that out of a fortune cookie?"

"Don't be a smart ass," Leo admonished, and Chris's back instantly stiffened at the familiar chiding tone. "It doesn't help your cause."

"My cause?" he croaked and much to his shame he could feel the tell-tale burn of tears, he thought he'd cried them all earlier, "Pretty much screwed that up, don't you think."

Leo shrugged, "I don't know."

"What?" he asked honestly surprised by the answer, "you're saying you still trust me?"

Leo shook his head with a rueful smile, "It's not my trust that matters, it's the sisters."

"I know," he muttered, and he knew he'd lost that, with his luck probably for good, "So what do I do?"

"Just be straight with them, that's all. Don't manipulate them," Leo said as if it was so easy and to him it probably was. However, by definition and training, Chris was forced to do what he'd been doing for months. He couldn't be honest with them and do what needed to be done, "Even if it is for the right reason. And for what it's worth, yes, I do trust you. After all, you saved my son from turning evil, didn't you?"

"For now," he sighed ominously as he gazed back out at the bright city before him, so full of energy and life. He huffed at the thought, he was getting poetic about his past again.

Leo stayed for a few minutes more but then eventually left when he realized Chris wasn't going to confide in him any more than he already had. Alone, Chris curled his arms around himself and finally let the tears fall again. He hadn't done this in years, let alone twice in one day. No matter what Wyatt had done or thrown at him he never lost his head like this. It was amazing to think that a rejection from the mother who didn't even know who he was could break him in a way Wyatt's psychological torture hadn't. Then again, maybe it had, and he was just now reaping the side effects. Either way, he was watching his last chance to set things right flying away from him and he had no idea how to stop it.


Next Time: Trust is a hard thing to get and keep whether it's from the family you've lied to one too many times or the army of possible allies amassing outside your door.