Chapter 20
Pansy didn't notice the whispers at first, she was halfway between reviewing case files that needed to be closed and reading Katrina's proposal. Maxine knocked on her door before closing it behind her, she looked unhappy, her hands twisted and untwisted. Pansy frowned as Maxine murmured a charm to keep others from listening in before sitting down in the chair in front of her.
"They're saying Clearwater is leaving in two months, right after the fundraiser. They want to hire someone within but they don't want you to be the head," Maxine told her in a rush. Pansy didn't know how to feel she. Happy that Clearwater was leaving but hurt that they wouldn't want her to be in charge. Pansy waited to see if Maxine would say anything more.
"Do you know who they want to come in?" Pansy asked. She realized then that in all her time working at the Ministry no one had ever shared gossip with her.
"No, but it's all rumors. I can't see Clearwater leaving unless she's offered a better position somewhere else." Maxine told her. Pansy laughed, because it was true and she had a feeling she wasn't the only person who didn't like their superior.
"Hopefully someone finds her a place she likes in the Ministry," Pansy said. She liked Maxine but in never hurt to be careful at work.
"Yes, hopefully!" Maxine agreed. Maxine seemed less anxious now and sat down. She seemed to sigh in relief. Pansy wondered if people thought she'd leave if she wasn't promoted.
"Anyway, how has the finalization of the fundraiser gone?" Pansy asked. Maxine groaned and looked at Pansy's dying plant.
"It's planned and ready." Maxine said. Pansy nodded remembering how Clearwater had put her in charge only to take over when all the hard work was finished.
"Good," Pansy smiled. Maxine left, waving her wand to remove the charm.
Pansy started going through her paperwork she had started before Maxine came to include her in the gossip. She had at least twenty more files to sign off on. And a few old cases that still needed review. She had five messages from three different departments, one about the stalking that had happened, two about open cases and some offender it might be and two about St. Mugo's and how Healer Brown was getting on. Pansy stopped to answer only three of the messages. Astoria owled about robes, which Pansy ignored. She had shrunk the boxes to make room in her office.
Pansy had cold pizza for lunch. She'd gone out into the muggle world to escape dealing with other witches and wizards. As she stood in line waiting for food her wand vibrated. Pansy had hurried back only to fine she hadn't really need to rush. In her office even more paperwork had been piled on her desk. It was mostly admin work that Maxine could do but Pansy had a feeling that Clearwater had thought she had started the rumor about Clearwater leaving.
"I'm leaving for the night," Maxine told her. Pansy frowned as she glanced at the clock, it was half past seven. She hadn't planned to stay that long but the work had gotten to her. She noticed Clearwater's office lights were still on as Maxine stood in the doorway.
"I think I'll be a bit longer, see you tomorrow," Pansy smiled.
"Okay," Maxine replied.
The knock on her office door jilted Pansy from rereading for the fourth time why Smith need extra money for one of his cases. Pansy had decided on the third read she was just going to have Smith rewrite it, so she wasn't as confused. Harry stood in the doorway, Clearwater's office lights were off.
"Late night?" Harry asked.
"Yes, I should get home," Pansy sighed.
"I'll walk you out, I came to talk but if you're going…" Harry said. Pansy smiled as she waved her wand. She packed her purse with a flick and straighten her desk with another flick.
"Okay," Pansy said as she pushed in her chair. Harry closed and locked the door behind her.
"Long day?" Harry asked with a knowing grin. Pansy laughed and nodded.
"The longest," she replied.
"Well I'm about to make it a little bit longer," Harry smiled, "Some of the cases you and Clearwater are dealing with have ties to dark wizards and witches we and the Hit Wizards are tracking."
"Great, so tread carefully?" Pansy asked.
"Maybe but most likely tomorrow morning someone from the auror department will be coming to take the files and have someone go over them with us." Harry told her. Pansy snorted.
"Really, just like that?" Pansy asked wary.
"Just like that." Harry agreed. Pansy turned to face him, she wanted to tell him about the hard work that went into the cases but she stopped herself. Harry probably knew, that's probably why he was here in person.
They stood so close, within kissing distance. Pansy stared at Harry, who stared back at her. He placed his hand on her shoulder before placing it down at his side. Pansy wondered what Harry was thinking. Pansy didn't grow up with a family that touched you. She didn't have friends that hugged. She wondered what he wanted. Because after all this time she finally realized what she wanted from him, besides friendship. She wondered how it would look. What would happen if she kissed Harry now. Would they have to quick snogging session in full view of the cleaners? Or would she snog him and invite him back to her flat? They could fuck and order food. Harry would leave and Pansy could take a nice shower to wash away the straining day she'd had.
"Want to go to the fundraiser with me?" Pansy asked. She tried not to look like she regrated asking the question as soon as it came out of her mouth. Harry stared at her for a second before he opened his mouth and then closed it.
"I, er, am going with Cho Chang. We, um, reconnected," Harry told her. He looked wary before having a perfectly blank face. Pansy tried not to sneer at his auror training covering his discomfort. As if she would make this awkward for him.
"Right, of course," Pansy said. She wasn't sure what to say next, she hadn't even planned on asking him to go with her. And she valued their friendship, the more she thought about it. No matter what her feelings were she wanted to be friends with Harry fucking Potter.
"We've been seeing each other for a bit," Harry told her. He shifted on his feet. Pansy didn't know how to feel. She liked Harry, she liked being around him, she liked that he always tried to help even though he didn't want to. Pansy liked that Harry was easy to talk to.
"Oh. That's…is Ginny okay with this?" Pansy said. For a second, she wanted to be a bitchy jealous person. If Ginny Weasley hadn't been okay with Pansy hanging out with Harry then Ginny Weasley wasn't okay with Harry seeing Cho Chang.
"I haven't told her yet…" Harry frowned. Pansy tried not to laugh. She had thought that there might be, that something was happening between her and Harry. Or maybe she had been reading to much into everything.
"You should tell her. I know it'll suck but if you don't, you're an arsehole," Pansy stated. Harry sighed. Pansy wondered what Ginny Weasley would say. The girl had been waiting on Harry for so long, had him and then had to let him go. Pansy hadn't even told Harry she liked in a romantic sense, and knew if she did it might go badly. Ginny Weasley probably felt shit knowing he didn't want to be with her anymore. Pansy needed to get her act together and start dating- even if it wasn't Harry.
"I don't know what to say," Harry told her. Pansy wondered if it was a first love thing, she'd never been in love. Her mother made marriage about duty. And though she loved her friends it wasn't the same kind of love Weasley and Harry had once had. Pansy couldn't understand why someone would go back to their first love again and again even though they knew it wouldn't work.
"Doesn't matter, right? If you like her, you like her and everyone will deal with it," Pansy shrugged. She felt awkward, she wondered if their friendship could survive this. She pictured herself watching him date someone else, she wasn't going to be Ginny Weasley pining in the background waiting for him because he said he needed time. She could move past this, she had to.
"Right," Harry frowned. They stood there in silence for what felt like an hour.
"I should get going," Pansy said finally. She took the floo powder and watched Harry watch her.
"Me too," Harry agreed. Pansy walked into the flames.
"I'll see you tomorrow with some of my coworkers?" Pansy asked.
"Ah, yeah," Harry nodded.
Pansy wasn't sure what to do when she got home. Should she cry? She felt listless. Usually, Pansy would owl Daphne and they'd go out, probably get drunk then sleep the day away. But Daphne had somehow turned from someone she turned to, to someone she couldn't bring herself to owl. It was like realizing how much Daphne didn't seem to like her all over again. She thought back to that party, when they were supposed to be celebrating her promotion and just having a good time. Pansy owled Blaise instead, they could go as friends to the fundraiser, and she could pretend that she didn't like Harry for a little longer.
Pansy ate ice-cream and a cold sandwich for dinner. She listened to the wireless as they talked about the new trade deal between New Zealand and Australia. Then there was a review of a couple of bands and a play. It was a drama about flying carpet racers. By half past ten she decided to go to bed, washing her face and putting on her facial creams. She decided to walk to work tomorrow, help her get past the blues.
Pansy felt paranoid as she walked to work, her neck prickled with tension. She felt as if someone was watching her, and tried to act normal, Pansy remembered that she had felt unease when walking to work before and nothing had happened. But Harry hadn't also talked about taking some of her cases and borrowing people for the aurors to talk to. Pansy knew that she and her department dealt with a lot of dangerous people, and she had had shit sent to her, but she didn't think it was more serious than that. Everyone around didn't seem to notice anything so Pansy waited for the aurors as she did her paperwork. At lunch she received Blaise's reply of yes, he'd take her to the fundraiser.
By lunch Pansy had finished more of the administrative work. She'd gone through four messages from Lavender and signed off on the budget report for the following three months. If the aurors had come, which she doubted, no one had said anything to her. Pansy sighed, she had to make a report for changes she needed for her half of the department. They needed to retain legal counsel, she needed to owl Draco about her mother's estate and probate, and then once she had figured all that out, she could go to Clearwater with a clear plan.
"Pansy," Maxine knocked.
"Yes?" Pansy called. She looked down at her lunch and frowned. She probably would have a working lunch unless she stepped outside the office.
"There are aurors here. They want to take some files and Matt with them. I wasn't sure since Clearwater is taking lunch." Maxine told her.
"That's fine, I was about to step out for lunch…" Pansy said.
"Penelope should be back in half an hour. I'll cover for you while she'd out," Maxine told her. Pansy smiled.
"Thanks, I won't take that long," Pansy told her. She was going to find a nice bench and eat while she people watched.
When Pansy got back from lunch the pile of papers were stack neatly and sorted for her. She had several memos and owls. She read over Draco's first; her mother's estate wand probate were almost finished. She had to sign papers, Pansy decided to take Monday off to deal with Draco. The next two owls were blank so she threw them out and started on the memos. Matt would be helping the aurors for the next couple of weeks, Clearwater had sent out a department wide memo about people not cleaning before they left for the day and Lavender wanted to meet Monday.
Pansy replied to Lavender's memo and ignored the others. She stayed late since she'd be out on Monday and cleaned her office before leaving. Pansy was tempted to leave a note for Clearwater but thought it might be petty. She had tea and some pasta for dinner. Finished finalizing and looking over her paperwork before she left.
When Pansy got home she found more mail. Blaise was ask what she planned to wear and how much should he donate. Pansy had a feeling he was donating in part because they were friends and the tax implications. Astoria asked when she'd be free to go dress robe shopping in her closet. Pansy laughed, she replied that she could make time to be free. Draco of course owled her the necessary information about how the solicitor was handling her mother's estate. The house was hers, but the dragon china and a couple of other finery would have to be sold to settle the debts of the estate. Pansy ignore Draco's offer for the dragon bone china and replied about the other houses her mother might own. She felt bad about not being more involved in the death of her mother.
By Friday Pansy was ready for the weekend. Sunday she'd relax and have a lay in. She could soak in the bath for hours and then read or do whatever she wanted. On Saturday she was meeting Lavender and Astoria for their "robe shopping". As Pansy wandered in muggle London until she felt uneasy again. She made a mental note to ask her group about the cases they were working. Just in case she had over looked someone who might hold a grudge. It was late when Pansy got in. The walk up to her flat felt off. She couldn't put her finger on it as she walked between the rooms making sure she didn't have a curse trinket of some kind. She started dinner and turned on the wireless to help put her at ease.
Once Pansy finished dinner she started on the pile of letters. When she had been younger no one told her that this was what being an adult was like. She had imagined the balls she'd go to on the arm of her rich and handsome husband from a royal house. She'd have tea in the garden with her friends, no matter the time of year because it was enchanted. Reality was always a sharp kick to the stomach. Mail, bills, being alone, timetables was what adulthood looked like. Pansy sighed and opened Blaise's letter first. He wanted to know what she'd be wearing if he needed to buy her anything and more questions. Pansy ignored his letter. Draco's letter was more of a report then letter which Pansy decided to ignore. She'd ask Draco in person and then opened Astoria's next. She had decided that Saturday evening they'd get together, have some elf wine and try on dress robes- and that Lavender was free Saturday too. Pansy replied asking what time she should arrive.
After reading her fun mail from her friends she sorted the others. One pile of junk- she didn't want or need bigger breasts. She flipped through the guide of programs that would be on the wireless for the next month. Pansy noted the series on famous witches in North Africa sounded interesting. She had three statements from Gringotts- her personal account, her mother's account and an old shared account from her parents. She was surprised by the money in the two accounts. Pansy started to budget for the next month after checking over her own account. Then there was a letter with nothing written, though it looked to be from an old friend of her mother's. Pansy needed to tidy her flat after sorting the mail. This was the only time she missed having house elves.
Astoria's house was not what Pansy expected. It was a modest size cottage with a white fence and overgrown shrubs. The house was brick and once she stepped through the fence obviously magical. Gnomes wattled about, falling while various vining plants seemed to watch her. Pansy knocked on the door and waited. Ron Weasley answered. He was different then how Pansy remembered him. Ron wasn't as gangly and awkward- he'd filled out and fixed his hair cut. He had more confidence than the last time they'd been at school. And while she was at their wedding she didn't get much of a chance to interact with the bride and groom.
"The girls are in the sitting room," Ron told her. He gave her a strained smile before walking into the house. Pansy followed him in.
Astoria and Lavender sat with tea between them. Wedding and honeymoon photos were spread everywhere. Lavender looked at Pansy with a pained expression before putting on a polite smile. Pansy wondered what was wrong, she had thought Astoria and Lavender would get along.
"So we're all here!" Astoria smiled. Lavender had a real smile on her face now.
"Unless you invited more people?" Pansy asked. Lavender laughed and Astoria rolled her eyes.
"The more the merry right?" Lavender shrugged. Astoria rolled her eyes.
"I asked Ron if he'd bring down the robes. I had to keep them in an enchanted wardrobe. I never realized how much I socialized until everyone tried to drop me for dating Ron!" Astoria told them. Pansy thought that Astoria would have too many things for the modest sized house. The Greengrass Manor almost rivaled Malfoy Manor but that was only because the Malfoy's had refused to add additions on to the gift from a king for a good two hundred years.
"Right, so they smell?" Pansy asked. She was trying to be grateful but smelly old dress robes weren't what she thought they'd be getting. Lavender chuckled as Astoria sighed playfully.
"No, I just have a lot and we don't have a lot of room here. I like this cozy home but I miss having a place for all my stuff!" Astoria sighed. Ron came in with the enchanted wardrobe, muttered a few words and left. Her returned seconds later with a screen for the to change behind.
"That you never used then either," Ron muttered. He placed a chair next to the now full-sized wardrobe and placed some biscuits and more tea on the table by Lavender.
"I used it!" Astoria laughed. Ron smiled at her shaking his head.
"Anything else? I told Harry I'd meet him at quarter to eight," Ron asked. Astoria hugged Ron, who hugged her back with a large smile on his face.
"It's fine, have fun!" she told him. Ron kissed her before walking towards the fireplace. He grabbed some floo powder and flooed to a pub Pansy had never heard of. They watched him, waited a second before they all giggled. Pansy felt like she was back at Hogwarts having a girly night.
"So, what kind of dress robe do you want?" Astoria asked Lavender.
"I dunno, something that'll make me look good?" Lavender shrugged.
"Any color?" Astoria asked. Pansy studied Lavender; she would look good it light colors.
"I…yes. As long as my scars aren't in full view, I'll be fine," Lavender said.
"Right," Astoria agreed. She pointed her wand at the wardrobe and five different dress robes laid on the chair. Two were a pale mint green, one a deep red with brushes of gold and silver patterned on it, and two pale lavender. One of the lavender dress robes was embroidered with white flowers and hand gold leaves until the bust which was an ivory lace with long sleeves. The other lavender dress robe was plain.
"I'll try this one on first?" Lavender asked. She gently touched the lace.
"We'll wait," Astoria smiled.
Pansy made herself tea as Lavender struggled behind the screen. She liked the mint green color but knew it would never work on her. She liked the lavender for Lavender. Lavender could wear pearls and put her hair up. Astoria smiled as she sat back down, and they waited for Lavender to make her entrance.
Lavender looked beautiful in her dress robes. The ivory lace covered most of the scarring on her left shoulder, and though there was scarring on her clavicle people's eyes would be drawn to the lace. Lavender looked happy and beautiful.
"You look beautiful," Astoria told Lavender.
"Are you sure?" Lavender asked. She looked unsure of herself and it made Pansy wonder.
"You should twirl first," Pansy told her. Astoria nodded as Lavender laughed. Lavender twirled twice, once with her arms out.
"You look stunning!" Pansy told her.
"Yes!" Astoria nodded.
"You just need some pearls!" Pansy told Lavender. Astoria nodded in agreement.
"I'd have a plait with pearls throughout your hair. Your hair is so long! And we could charm pearls to go down the back!" Astoria told her.
"I have my granny's pearls." Lavender said. She twirled in the dress robe again, Pansy laughed. Astoria clapped and they all smiled.
"Perfect, it's yours then," Astoria said.
"Thank you," Lavender said. She looked sad for a second. Pansy and Astoria shared a look. While they weren't close to Millicent Bulstrode, they could remember the nightmare of her mother. Even if Millicent had looked pretty her mother was tell her how ugly she was. Astoria had been the first of their group to tell her she was pretty. Pansy had never seen someone cry so much over a small complement. Of course, now that she was older she understood why.
"But you still have to try the others on! You got off easy!" Astoria told her.
"Now she's going to dress you up like a doll," Pansy laughed. Lavender looked at Astoria in brief horror before laughing too.
"After Pansy finds her dress robes. Then we can all try different ones on," Lavender suggested. Astoria frowned but nodded. Pansy shared a smirk with Lavender before realizing it was her turn. She was going to try not to be as picky as when she borrowed the dress for Astoria's wedding.
"Okay," Astoria replied. She did a fake pout before waving Lavender away. Lavender changed into her robes and sat down again.
"I don't look good in orange," Pansy told her. If she could get Lavender's dress robes right on the first try Pansy had hope.
"Right," Astoria smirked. They both remembered when Pansy was thirteen and her mother had made her wear these ugly frill orange dress robes. She had sat in the corner the whole ball as her friends and others danced and had fun.
Astoria placed the dress robes Lavender hadn't tried on on the sofa with the flick of her wand. She then flicked her wand again and seven dress robes popped out. They were all deep colors of red. Pansy wasn't sure if Astoria was trying to tell her something or not but she frowned.
"Astoria, it'll be July when the fundraiser happens. I'm not wearing a winter dress robe." Pansy told her. Astoria frowned and moved the dress robes onto the pile on the sofa.
"Right," Astoria said. She sighed and then flicked her wand again.
This time the dress robes were a light burgundy, two of them were plain and high waisted with a small bell sleeve and a large bell sleeve. There was one with cut outs on either side and a low neck. Another was made of a sparkly material. There was one embroidered with tiny flowers, they looked like roses, with a scoop neck and puffed sleeves. The last one had what seemed to be tiny mirrors that reflected the light and a very low back.
"After this I want to try something in blue," Pansy grumbled.
The first too both Astoria and Lavender shrugged at. They were nice but they weren't special. Pansy had a feeling that Astoria had worn them to wedding for people she wasn't close to. The one with cut outs on the sides was too sexy. It clung to Pansy and when she walked the slit made sure she wouldn't be able to wear underwear with it. Lavender had giggled about Pansy flashing people as she bossed them around.
The dress robes with the mirrors meant that Pansy would have to keep spelling her breasts to stay in place, which wouldn't work. Astoria laughed about her boss getting upset if she forgot to hide her nipples with a spell. The puffed sleeve, embroidered dress robe made her look pretty. Pansy liked the way the was functional. She needed functional but pretty when working.
"Let's see the teal dress robe!" Lavender said. Astoria rolled her eyes but nodded. Astoria's style was everything and nothing at the same time. Daphne's style was similar to Pansy's so it had been easier to find a dress robe for the wedding.
The teal dress robe was puffed sleeved with a sweetheart neckline. The hem of the dress robe was embroidered with flowers that grew reaching her bust. As Pansy walked the color of the flowers changed. She loved it.
"Yes," Lavender said. She was smiling.
"I agree," Astoria nodded looking happy.
"Me too!" Pansy smiled. She was glad to be finished looking for dress robes. The fun part of trying everything on was about to begin.
"Let's get the wine!" Astoria said. They all laughed.
