When I wake up on the first day of classes, Jackson is all I can think about - and that isn't normal. On every first day of school prior to this one, I've been excited about the new curriculum, moving up a year, and being challenged in general. But this year, he's the only thing on my mind.

I know it's probably not healthy, but there's nothing I can do to change it. The harder I try to push him out, the more insistent my thoughts become. It's actually a little sick.

I'm thinking about what it will be like to see him again and how in the world we're going to make that happen. He said he would come up with a plan, but given that we both spent all day yesterday preparing for the start of senior year, we couldn't fit anything in.

As I rifle through my closet to try and find an acceptable first day outfit, I'm brainstorming ways to see him. The woods are unpleasant and probably not safe. I have no idea what kind of wildlife is out there. Going over to Sheffield didn't work too great for me last time, and it's way too difficult to picture him breaking into my dorm. I'm not even sure if I could pull that off, especially with how icy Addison was yesterday.

Speaking of Addison - or, rather, thinking of her - I swear I can feel eyes on me as I flip through my clothes. Her eyes, no doubt. They're searing into the back of my head and shoulders and the tension in the air is thick with words that she obviously wants to say.

I have no idea how she feels about me anymore. I don't know how I feel about her, either, but my mind is too preoccupied with Jackson to really care.

I finally land on an outfit - it's going to be warm outside today, so I go with a lilac sundress and white sandals, tying my hair into a curly bun because there's no time to make it look right. I gather my things haphazardly, kicking myself for forgetting to pack my bag last night, then throw my backpack over my shoulder.

"See you," I say, throwing the words over my shoulder. Addison is sitting on her bed with an outfit beside her, presumably waiting until I leave to get dressed. I have no idea why - she's going to be late if she does that every day, and it's not like I'm peeping on her.

She doesn't respond to my goodbye, so I roll my eyes as I hurry through the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door of Marillac. With a bounce in my step, I make my way to the building where my first class of the day, AP Literature, is - Apollonia Hall - and find Reed walking in, too.

"Hey!" I say, coming up behind her and threading my arm through hers. "Are you in AP Lit with Dr. Webber?"

"Sure am," Reed says.

As we get closer to the classroom, no one but Meredith Grey and her group of lackeys are standing outside the door. "Thank god you're here," I say. "I'd probably be killed if I was in a class alone with them."

Reed glances at Meredith, who's already staring daggers into me. "Is she seriously that pissed?" she asks. "What does she have to be mad over? It's not like you slept with her boyfriend. So what if you're a little slutty?"

She laughs at the last part and I elbow her in the ribs. "Stop," I say, only a little offended. I try not to show it, though. I know she was joking. I think. I hope. "It's more than that now."

"What could've possibly happened in like, one day?" Reed asks.

"I snuck out to meet Jackson the other night," I begin.

"Oh, great," Reed grumbles.

I choose to ignore that and continue. "And on the way to the woods, I noticed all these freshmen girls standing around the creek. Bare naked."

"Naked? What the hell?" Reed says.

"Yeah, I know. They told me Meredith told them they had to jump in the water and stay in for an hour. It was, like, the middle of the night." I shake my head. "So messed up. I told them to put their clothes back on and go back to their dorm, because if the Bronach dorm parent caught them, they'd all be dead. One of them said something about Meredith being mad if she found out they didn't do it, and…" I glance towards Meredith, who is still glaring at me. "It looks like that girl was right."

Reed is quiet for a long beat. So long, that I look over to see if she caught my whole story. It seems like she was listening, but she's wearing an expression that I'm having a hard time reading. She looks pensive and confused, like she wants to say something.

"What?" I say.

She sighs and shrugs one shoulder. "I don't know," she says. "Do you really think it's the best idea to be sneaking out like that?"

I frown, my eyebrows coming together as I scowl at her. "How else am I supposed to see Jackson?" I say.

"Maybe just…don't?" Reed says, widening her eyes with a bit of a snap in her tone. "It's not like he's god's gift to humanity or anything."

"Okay, yeah, but I like him," I say.

"And you also like Addison," Reed says under her breath, crossing her arms as Dr. Webber approaches and unlocks the classroom door. "Apparently, one's not enough."

"What is up with you?" I hiss, trying to stay out of earshot of anyone who might be curious about our conversation.

"Nothing," Reed says. "But it's like, you can't keep flipping between Addison and Jackson and think that people aren't calling you a slut behind your back."

"Who's calling me that, besides Meredith Grey?" I say. "You? Are you calling me that?"

"No," she says.

"Then who are 'people'?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says. "People. I'm just saying. Stop giving them a reason to call you slutty, and maybe they'll quit."

I scoff and shoot her a look, then glance away quickly. When I move my eyes away from Reed's face, I see that Meredith is watching me with a sly smirk on her face - most likely catching every single word of this heated exchange. Great.

"I can't believe you'd say that to me," I tell her.

"I didn't mean that you actually are a slut," she says.

"Who cares if I am?" I reply. "Since when did you get so…so…"

"Alright ladies, welcome to AP Lit," Dr. Webber says, getting situated at the front of the room. "Find a seat anywhere you'd like and take out your syllabus."

I narrow my eyes at Reed and stalk off in the opposite direction of where she chose to sit. I end up on the other side of the room, far from everyone else, and try my best to listen throughout the lecture.

Dr. Webber drones on and on for 72 minutes, and once that time is up, I'm out of my seat before the bell can even finish ringing. I don't wait for Reed, but before I can get very far, I hear a grating voice in my ear.

"Hey, skank," Meredith Grey says, pressing her shoulder to mine and matching my stride. "What happened between you and your friend?"

"Go away, Meredith," I say, keeping my voice low.

"Oh, I'm so scared," she says, giggling. "What are you gonna do, give me an STD? Who'd you get it from, the Sheff boy or Addison Montgomery? Or maybe someone else?" She raises her lip. "Ew. You're so disgusting."

I keep my eyes on the ground and try my best to ignore her, but she won't have that.

"What, you don't have anything to say?" she chides, getting closer to my face. "You sure had plenty to say to those freshmen girls. Telling them that I'm hazing them, really? Really, skank?" She rolls her eyes. "I don't know how you can be such a goody-two-shoes and a fucking whore at the same time. But somehow, you make it happen."

Before I can react, she shoves me hard into the wall, so hard that pain shoots up the entire left side of my body when I come into contact with the concrete.

"Ow!" I exclaim, almost losing my balance before I catch myself.

"Get used to it," Meredith growls. "You shouldn't have told those girls your name, you stupid slut. I'm gonna make your life hell."

I open my mouth to say something, to shoot some retort back at her, but she kicks the back of my knee before I can - and that sends me flying forward. I lose everything that I'd been holding, from my purse to my textbooks, and catch myself hard with both palms on the floor. When I look up, Meredith is laughing with a sneer on her face, then she takes it upon herself to kick one of my books and send it sliding down the hall.

"Slut," she says, one last time - for good measure. "Get up off the floor. You look like an idiot."

"I'm not scared of you," I say, gathering my things while keeping eye contact with her the best I can.

Meredith shakes her head and says, "Then you're stupider than I thought."

That night after lights-out, I'm lying in bed with the covers pulled high, trying to get my mind off of the horror show that was my first day of senior year. The best way to do that, I think, is by calling Jackson while wearing the Sheffield beanie he gave me.

"Hey, pretty," he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. It makes me smile right away, too, and warms my whole body.

"Hey," I say, curling into myself while trying to keep my voice low.

"How was your first day?"

"Awful," I say. "My friend, Reed, and I kind of fought. It was really weird. Then I ran into the biggest bitch in school who has it out for me."

"Your dorm parent's daughter?"

"Yeah, her," I say. "She wants me dead, and she happily let me know that." I close my eyes and sigh. "It was horrible."

"Damn, baby, I'm sorry," Jackson says, and that makes me feel instantly better. I love being called 'baby' - even more so when the word comes from his mouth. He makes it sound extra sweet. "You want me to beat her up?"

"Yeah," I say. "Will you?"

"Happily," he says.

I turn onto my back and bend my knees, making a sort of tent under the covers for myself. "How was your first day?" I ask him.

"Eh," he says. "Fine. Boring. I missed you."

"I missed you, too," I say. "I can't stop thinking about you."

"Nah, you're just saying that."

"No, I really can't!" I say, smirking. "I thought about you all day."

"What about?" he asks. "About me."

"I don't know…" I say, trailing off as my voice lilts. "I thought about how bad I want to see you again."

"Yeah, we gotta figure that out," he says. "I wanna see you, too."

I turn the tables on him when I say, "When you see me, what are you gonna do?"

I hear him chuckle low in his throat and it makes something swirl in my belly, something I have no control over. Maybe I should start getting some control over it, but right now that's the last thing I want to do.

"The next time I see you," he begins, "I'm gonna redo our first time and show you what sex is really supposed to feel like."

My whole body is buzzing now, thanks to the tone of his voice and the words he's saying. "Oh, yeah?" I say.

"Uh-huh," he says. "I'm gonna actually make you come this time. You're not gonna do it yourself by humping my leg."

"Oh, my god," I whisper.

"It was hot, though," he says. I can picture the smirk on his face. "A great leg-humping experience, honestly. The best I've ever had."

"Other girls have done that to you?!" I squeal, then remember Addison is sleeping just a few feet away. I lower my voice when I repeat myself and say, "Other girls have done that?"

"Nah," he says, "just you, leg-humper."

"Don't call me that," I say. "That's so embarrassing."

"Alright, fine," he says. "What should I call you, then?"

"Baby," I say, biting my lower lip to try and keep my crazy smile in check.

"Okay, then," he says, a smile in his voice too. "Okay, baby."

"Usually, girls only get called 'baby' by their boyfriends," I say.

"Yeah…" he agrees, "so, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we…"

"April, I'm trying to sleep," Addison says, cutting me off. Her sharp tone makes me jump - I thought she'd been asleep for ages.

I throw the covers back and I'm instantly met with a faceful of fresh air and Addison's scornful expression. She's propped up on one elbow in her bed, squinting through the darkness to glower at me. "Sorry," I say.

"Can you hang up the fucking phone?" she snaps.

I widen my eyes and press the phone closer to my ear. "I gotta go," I say.

"Why?" Jackson asks.

"I just…" I glance at Addison, who's still trying to kill me with her eyes. "I gotta go. I'll text you in a minute."

"Okay, fine," he says, sighing dramatically. "Bye, baby."

"Bye."

I press the red hangup button and tuck the phone under my covers. Addison still doesn't move, so I give her a look and shake my head slightly, trying to get her to speak.

"Why do you hate me now?" I say finally, seeing as it didn't seem like she was going to break the silence.

"Why are you acting like I don't exist?" she counters back.

"I'm not acting like that," I say.

"We made out and slept in your bed together the other night, and now you're keeping me awake with lovey-dovey calls with your boyfriend. That's like, textbook for acting like I don't exist and what we did meant nothing."

"We already talked about this," I say.

"Barely," she replies.

"You said it didn't mean anything!" I say.

"It didn't," she says, her eyes glistening in the low light. She's wearing a strange expression and I'm not sure whether or not I believe her, but I don't know her well enough to prod.

"Well, it didn't to me, either," I say. "It was fun. That was all. I think we're better as friends, you know, and that'll probably be easier since we're roommates and all."

She scoffs and says, "Right."

"What?" I say.

"When we make out again in a week, I'll try to remember that you said that."

I sit up further and try to see her more clearly through the darkness. "That's not gonna happen," I say. "I'm seeing Jackson."

"Yeah, 'cause that stopped you before," she murmurs, then rolls her eyes. "Sounds like you just like to do what feels good." She pauses for a moment, then says, "Or who feels good."

I lean in towards her and swing my legs over the side of the bed. "Listen," I say, "that is not me. I was just…I was just trying to figure stuff out."

"Well, I don't wanna be a part of that 'stuff,'" Addison says hotly. "Leave me out of it."

"I'd love to," I spit.

"And, by the way, I need my sleep. So, shut up on the phone."

With that, she rolls over and pulls her comforter up high, and I'm left staring at the back of her auburn head, fuming. With my lips pressed together hard, I pull out my phone from under the covers and lay back down in a rage.

RECEIVED, 11:48pm: So we never finished our convo. When and where can I see you?

It doesn't take me long to reach a conclusion. I snuck a peek at Addison's schedule before we turned the lights out, tacked to the wall, and saw that she's visiting home this weekend. I'll have the dorm to myself.

SENT, 11:54pm: come to my dorm this weekend. We'll redo our first time :)

On Friday, after classes let out, I'm beyond excited to get back to Marillac to an empty dorm. I plan on getting it all ready for Jackson to come over, lighting candles and sprucing things up so we can have a perfect night in.

But when I unlock the door and make my way inside, I spot Addison on her bed - looking comfortable and not at all like she's about to leave. I glance at her calendar to see that the word HOME, which had been etched across this weekend, has been erased.

We haven't spoken to each other all week. It's not like I can just ask her what's up. Instead, I have to play it cool, like I never knew she was leaving in the first place.

Our living arrangements have become nothing short of awkward. It's hell, living with someone who I'm not on good terms with. I feel like an intruder in my own home. I hate it, which is why I spend as little time here as I can. But ever since mine and Reed's strange interaction on Monday, I feel like an interloper in my friend group too.

All of this is why I'd been looking forward to spending a weekend with just Jackson.

As I stare at Addison and wish horrible things upon her in my head, I tell myself that I'm not going to let her presence ruin this weekend. I'll wait until she's asleep, really asleep, and sneak Jackson in just as I was going to do if she were gone. I'm not giving up. I'm going to make this happen.

We've had a few short phone calls this week and tons of texts, but it wasn't enough. I need to see him. I need to kiss him. I need to be kissed by him.

So, I ignore Addison in the same way she ignores me and count down the hours until lights out.

SENT, 11:30pm: bad news. My roommates home

SENT, 11:30pm: good news. I dont care :)

SENT, 11:30pm: do you?

RECEIVED, 11:31pm: not at all not if you dont

RECEIVED, 11:31pm: ur just gonna have to be quiet, screamer girl ;)

SENT, 11:32pm: how would you know if im a screamer? I got myself off last time

RECEIVED, 11:32pm: ouch

RECEIVED, 11:32pm: well im about to change that

SENT, 11:33pm: are you coming or what?

RECEIVED, 11:33pm: yeah i am. And youre about to too ;)

I cover my eyes with one hand and slip my phone into my pocket, peering over to Addison's side of the room to make sure she's unconscious. Given the fact that her side is rising and falling at a very slow rate and she hasn't moved in a long time, I think I can safely say she's out.

In socks, I slip out of our dorm and into the dimly-lit hallway, trying to make the floor creak as little as humanly possible. It's not easy, given that Marillac Hall is probably a thousand years old, but somehow I make it down the steps without hearing any movement from anywhere.

I wait near the door and keep an eye out for Jackson, and it doesn't take long before I spot him walking up the path wearing a green hoodie and basketball shorts. Luckily, there's no alarm on the door, so I push it open a few inches and beckon him inside with a wild smile on my face.

"Come on!" I say, waving one arm frantically.

"Made it," he says, sounding proud of himself. "Damn, those woods are scary at night."

"But you're here now," I say, twining my arms around his waist and pulling him close. I can't get enough of him - I feel overcome with happiness, like I want to kiss him and touch him and pretty much drown in him.

The crush I have on him is so huge that it's ridiculous.

"It's so good to see your pretty face," he says, cupping my jaw in one hand. Slowly, he leans in and I close the distance between us without waiting; I've never been this impatient before, but then again, I've never felt quite like this. It's completely new territory.

"I missed you so much," I say, my lips moving against his as we kiss. "Let's go upstairs."

I take his hand and lead the way, glancing over my shoulder to tell him to walk slowly and carefully. It takes us quite a bit of time to make it to my dorm, but when we eventually close and lock the door, we can't help but burst into stupid laughter.

"I feel like a secret agent," Jackson says.

"I know," I whisper. "Take your shoes off. Let's sit on my bed."

"Ooh, your bed," he says.

I snicker and grab two fistfuls of his shirt in the darkness, showing him the way with small, silent steps. When we sit on my bed, it creaks with the weight of both of our bodies, and we pause afterwards - waiting to see if Addison will move. Luckily, she doesn't.

"Why is she still here?" Jackson asks, stealing a kiss from me.

"No idea," I say. "It's weird. We're currently not speaking."

"That's awkward," he says.

"You're telling me."

"Did you guys fight?"

"Kind of," I say, dragging my fingers up and down his muscular arms. "I can't believe you're here right now. In my bed."

He wiggles his eyebrows. "Now that you've got me here, what are you gonna do with me?"

"No," I say, reclining to lay on my back. I pull on his shoulders to get him to lie overtop of me, and he complies easily. "What are you gonna do with me?"

We both smile and he holds my waist with one hand as he kisses me, strong and sure. When his lips part and he runs his tongue across mine, my heart pumps double time and that electricity follows the familiar path to my core - and stays there.

"You taste minty," he says, then sucks gently on the tip of my tongue. My eyelashes flutter and my thighs fall apart, spreading to welcome his body over mine, and I feel his growing erection pressed to my core. It makes my entire body throb, but that sensation is mostly concentrated in my center, right where his penis is nudging me through both of our pants.

"Do I taste good?" I ask, running my fingers through his tight curls.

"You taste amazing," he says, opening his mouth over my throat. "I wanna know how your whole body tastes."

I whimper softly, coming unwound from his words, and slip my hands under the back of his shirt. His skin is smooth and warm, and when I reach high enough, he does the rest of the work for me and whips his shirt off over his head and tosses it to the floor. Hopefully, we'll be able to find it when we're done here - but the last thing I'm thinking about is tonight ending. As far as I'm concerned, it could go on forever and I wouldn't mind at all.

Once Jackson is shirtless, I want to get in the same state. While I'm still under him, and while he's still kissing my neck, I wriggle out of my shirt, which leaves me topless under him.

"Oh, Jesus," he says, holding the sides of my ribcage in both of his big hands. He stares at my chest, what he can see of it in the low light, then glances up to meet my eyes. "Baby, you're so beautiful."

I press my lips together and arch my back, a movement that places his mouth closer to my straining nipples. Usually, they're pale pink, but right now they're flushed and I want nothing more than for him to suck on them.

With his hands in the same place, he uses his thumbs to press on the puckered, tight buds, and that sensation makes my eyes roll back. My mouth falls open and a breathy whine falls out, and my hips involuntarily lift to knock against his. I want friction. I want it bad.

He rubs his thumbs in circles, making my nipples even harder, if possible, then drags his lower lip over the right one. I clench his waist between my thighs, afraid I'll explode if I don't, and watch his eyes glint as he exhales warm air onto my breast and kisses the dark freckle placed right next to my nipple.

"Look at you, baby," he murmurs, his lips moving against my skin, "just look at you."

I close my eyes and breathe heavily, sent to heaven when his tongue flattens over my hard nipple. He closes his lips and sucks, hollowing his cheeks as he uses the other hand to play with and pinch the opposite one, bringing it to a peak that's nearly painful.

My underwear is past damp by now. I won't be surprised if I've soaked right through them.

Jackson presses slow, wet kisses down my torso, over the keys of my rib cage and lower, disappearing beneath the covers to run his tongue along the thin waistband of my underwear. He kisses the bow in the middle, the swell just below it, then presses a flat tongue to my swollen nerves that he finds easily - even through wet fabric.

"Oh," I whimper, pressing his head down so his face is tighter against me. "Jackson."

"I know," he says. Slowly, he pulls my underwear down my legs and they get lost somewhere at the end of the bed. As he breathes onto my pulsating, wanting core, I spread my legs and he says, "Your pussy is so pretty, baby. I could just fuckin'... eat you."

"So do it," I pant, then I jolt as his mouth comes into contact with my core.

He doesn't move quickly. In fact, he moves very, very slow. With his mouth open, jaw as wide as it will go, he delves his tongue inside me and nudges my clit with his nose, keeping my lips apart with both thumbs. I let one leg fall off the bed and hang there, my hips oscillating lazily against his working mouth, and start to breathe heavier as he manipulates my nerves with his fingers.

"Look at this wet pussy," he says, then spits on it. When he does that, my entire body responds with something close to an electric shock. It adds to the unbelievable amount of wetness that's already there, and my body makes salacious sounds as he slips his fingers in and out of me with purpose. "This tight, pink, wet pussy."

Does this count as dirty talk? I have no idea, but if it does, he's so good at it. I don't think I could ever be this good. He knows exactly what to say to get me worked up - because I'm more turned on than I've ever been, and I'm going to have an orgasm soon. A big one. And I can't wait.

I can't help the noises I'm making, because it all feels so good. Above him, I'm whining and whimpering, keening and almost sobbing, with my eyes pinched tightly closed. I spread my thighs wider, as wide as I can, and let out a long, high-pitched, desperate-sounding moan as he pushes his tongue deep inside me.

"Oh, my god," I cry, holding onto his hair.

I'm so caught up in all that he's making me feel that I barely notice Addison get up and storm out of the room.

"Is she…?" Jackson says, having paused what he's doing.

"Doesn't matter," I say. "Please, please, please just make me…"

He smirks and gets back to it, closing his lips around my swollen clit and sucking until it finally happens. I see stars behind my eyes and this amazing rush of euphoria washes throughout my entire body, but it's interrupted by a light from the hall and the door coming open, two people appearing in the entryway as it does.

As the light flips on in our room, I'm still pulsing with my orgasm. It's not over yet, and I'm not even close to coming down from it, which is super embarrassing, seeing as the two people standing there are Addison and Professor Grey.

I cover my breasts and blush at the way my body continues to twitch and jerk, but all I can do is stare at them in the way they're staring at me and Jackson. My brain is too cloudy to do much more, and the amazing way my body feels is not congruent at all to the sight in front of me. But it's not like I can just make the effects of my orgasm stop.

This is a nightmare. Actually, this might be Hell.

"Kepner, put some damn clothes on," Professor Grey barks, "and get your little ass to my office immediately."

I sit up, trying my best to stay decent, and jump when she turns around to demand one more thing.

"Him, too."