Chapter Nine
Wrapped up in Quinn's duvet Santana slowly began to wake up. She chanced a look behind her and saw Quinn sprawled out with hardly any covers. Oops. She kicked the duvet out and tossed half over the other girl.
Still snuggled up under the covers, Santana watched Quinn until she started feeling like a grade-A weirdo and turned onto her back to stare at the ceiling.
Last night was on her mind, the ghost of a smile teased to break out as she recalled the games and time spent with her friends. Then she thought of Quinn, their kiss. No. Their kisses. And her question. The big dork. It was almost too difficult not to smile at the thought of how assertive Quinn had been until that 'thanks'. The question though. It made her think about what Lucia had said, what she'd told herself, what she wanted for herself. Maybe they could be something.
She turned to face the other girl again when a figurative light bulb lit up in her mind.
Moving as carefully as she could, she rested her weight on her hands and positioned them either side of Quinn's head.
The gentle kiss she planted on Quinn's lips would've put Snow White's piece to shame. Feeling pretty pleased with herself, Santana propped herself back up.
Only Quinn still slept soundly. Okay.
She kissed Quinn again only to have the same result. What the fuck?
This just wasn't on. With a renewed determination only an inexperienced tween would have over a kiss, she tried once more. When Quinn just lay there Santana was genuinely annoyed with herself.
"What the actual fuck?" She whispered harshly.
The tell-tale shakes of held in laughter brought her attention back to Quinn, whose face was failing at feigning sleep any longer.
"Oh, you bitch!" Santana laughed out.
Quinn openly let herself belly laugh at Santana's frustration.
"Quinn, I thought you were dead."
"No you didn't."
"No, I didn't."
They both looked at each other with small smiles on their faces until Quinn got that smug look that Santana used to loathe to see.
"I suppose you've answered my question."
"Hmm." Santana held herself over Quinn again as she came within kissing distance. "Where are your manners this time?" Her smirk told Quinn she was teasing and that she could be smug too. Two could play at this game.
Quinn squinted her eyes in confusion until it hit her and her cheeks burned red. Santana felt a little bit guilty for it, but hey, you can't play dead like that and live to tell the tale without some kind of retribution.
Closing the distance Santana tried to distract Quinn from her embarrassment. Personally, she found it endearing, but she also knew Quinn hated it when she got all flustered.
It seemed to have worked, when she pulled back she saw that Quinn was smiling again. "Thanks."
Then Quinn was up on her own elbows and closing the distance again. Santana was conscious of morning breath, but she was so, so tempted to deepen the kiss this time. When Quinn pulled back and raised her eyebrow at her expectantly she could've rolled her eyes so hard into the back of her head that her brain could've said hi.
"Hey now, manners cost nothing."
"I don't know how you've turned this on me."
"You're welcome." Quinn said in a sing-song voice.
Santana dropped down onto the bed and tucked herself into Quinn. Content with just listening to her heart and feel the rise and fall of her chest.
"San?"
"Hmm?"
"What are we?"
"I don't know." She felt Quinn try to move, but held her firmly. "No, wait." Quinn stopped. "I… I know I like-like you. I mean that's kind of obvious."
"I like-like you too." Even though she could have guessed as much, it gave her butterflies to hear.
They were quiet for a while before Santana broke the silence. "I don't want to be out until I can tell my family."
"Okay."
"But, I don't know when I'll be ready for that. Is that okay?" She knew she had come further than she had with Brittany, but the whole closet-case thing might've been a deal breaker for Quinn too.
"Yeah." Santana physically felt herself relax further into Quinn, it was a relief. "I mean I'm not out either. I'm still not sure what I am if I'm being honest. But if we're in this together I think we'll be alright."
"In this together."
"Always."
They were quiet again and then the thing that used to scare Santana the most came creeping back into her mind. If she was honest, it was a thought she had often, a thought about the future. It was the thought of having a girlfriend, a commitment to somebody who was a girl and not some guy she didn't really give a shit about. To be with somebody who she actually liked, loved. The anxiety over the whole thing churned away in her chest and started to make her feel clammy all of a sudden.
"I know we won't be openly together for a while at least, but…" She bit down on her lip, she so wanted to say what she wanted to say but it was still scary.
"But?"
"Does this mean we're dating?" Santana had wanted it to come out all playful and teasing, but she couldn't muster it when she felt so nervous.
She heard Quinn's breathe hitch and it worried her. Then Quinn started stroking out the knots in her hair and it settled her some.
"Yeah. I guess it does." Came the quiet reply. "Does this feel too fast to you?"
Doubt shot through Santana and it was hard to grapple it when it had controlled her for so long. "Well I'm not going to be seeing anybody else. I don't want to." Oh fuck. "Do you?"
Quinn's response was immediate. "God no."
It made her laugh.
"Cool."
"Cool."
…
Weeks had passed with Santana and Quinn spending all of their free time away from school together. Tentative glances in school were shared and casual touches had in the quiet of empty corridors and occasionally in Glee. They were thoroughly smitten and thought they were slick enough for nobody to notice.
Mercedes and Brittany had been beside themselves and would eye each other every time one of them would laugh a little too hard at a comment the other had made or when they'd give each other puppy dog eyes when either of them performed.
They almost found it sickening, but they were happy about it and did their best to keep others out of it. One person in particular had cottoned on pretty quickly and became more of a pain in the ass than usual.
Rachel Berry was firmly in the Quinn and Santana fan club and she was always about three seconds away from making them t-shirts to commemorate their relationship. She was taking this best-friends business with Santana very seriously. If she was being frank (and if you don't mind the language), the fact that Santana hadn't confided in her during one of their numerous dance lesson kind of pissed her off. She had two dads, surely that gave her dibs or something?
"Oh, Santana! I was looking for you?"
"Well you've found me." Santana closed her locker and looked questioningly to Rachel.
"I was thinking we could incorporate our dance class music into Glee club this week."
"No." She began to walk away, how rude!
"Wait!" Rachel caught up easily enough. "It could be fun, disco is timeless."
"Who are you fooling? It is not."
"I beg to differ, ever heard of Diana Ross?" Rachel bit her lip in thought, dare she say it? "I'm Coming Out?"
Santana didn't bat an eye. "Congrats, Berry. Now I have a class to get to, if you don't mind."
"Santana, you know what I mean."
"Yeah and I'm pretty sure that isn't disco."
Santana left her in the corridor as she entered the classroom for her next period.
...
"Hey, Rach." Brittany greeted as she sat besides Rachel on the piano bench she was perched on.
"Hi, Brittany. What do I owe the pleasure?" Rachel smiled.
"Well, Mercedes and I were talking and we wanted to come and tell you to you know, like, mind your business." Brittany said with a polite airiness.
Rachel gaped, puzzled to what Brittany and Mercedes could have been on about. Had they found out that she had been doing stake-outs on weekends to see how much extra training Vocal Adrenaline put into their show choir perfection? Surely that would be beneficial for New Directions!
"Thank you for the advice, but I think my data collecting will be very beneficial in the long-run," Rachel began to pull out the notebook from her bag that had logged the hours Vocal Adrenaline had put in.
Brittany placed a hand over it and shook her head. "No, not that. Although that's insane and I should know, I'm a doctor in psychology according to my fifty dollar certificate from wanna-be-a-doc-dot-com-dot-net." Brittany gave her a concerned look. "No, we want you back off of San and Quinn."
Rachel's face lit up with realisation. "Oh! Oh, I see. Well Brittany, let me assure you that I would never out anybody, ever. It would not only hurt two people who are held dearly in our club, but I'm almost certain my dads would take away all of my Barbra merchandise and put a life ban on my wine-cooler-Wednesday-dinner privileges. And oh my goodness, are they actually a thing then? I totally knew it. I have a gift you see, I am slightly psychic."
"And so is Tubbs, you guys should totally get together some time. You're still broken up with Finn right?"
"Yes, I am. It wasn't meant to be." Rachel dinked one of the keys in front of her and then closed the piano fallboard.
"Nice." Brittany slapped her thighs and stood. "So you going to lay off?"
"Of course, I wouldn't want to jeopardise my friendship with Santana."
"Cool," Brittany began to walk away when a thought hit her, "wanna join our betting pool though?"
Gambling was a tough one for Rachel, she liked certainty and taking risks that were calculated. So the answer was simple.
"Sign me up."
...
"You should have heard Berry earlier," Santana rolled over to where Quinn was reading a book at the head of her bed.
She took her in, her hair had almost faded completely now and was tinged slightly pink. She had toned down the grunge, but hadn't completely reverted back to summer dresses just yet. But Santana had an inkling that the Skanks had a hand in that.
Those bitches.
She didn't understand why Quinn hung out with them, they were gross and a bad influence. Yeah, even she would consider them a bad influence. She hadn't told Quinn this of course, she wasn't her mother for Christ's sake, but it niggled at Santana that Quinn was falling behind and not even trying to look for colleges or think about her future. She tried to play it off when Santana would ask how she did on a test and she'd laugh about how she had blagged it. Or when Santana would mention wanting to go to school in New York Quinn would give her a fake smile before getting all quiet.
It felt too early into whatever their current situation was to argue about a future that felt both too close and far away at the same time. She supposed this was the problem with having a history. She wanted to call Quinn out, so, so bad, but that would be falling into old patterns that always took them down a road of being at each other's necks. And totally not in the sexy way.
Ugh, what the fuck? Relationships are hard when you actually like the person and care about their feelings.
"What'd she say?" Quinn asked, reaching her hand out to stroke the back of Santana's hand now that it was right by her.
"She wants us to do disco." The disdain dripped from her voice.
"So? Disco's fun." Quinn put her book down and turned fully toward Santana.
"Quinn, you're supposed to be on my side."
"Come on then, why's she all of a sudden wanting to do dreaded disco?"
"I'm going to ignore the sarcasm right there, okay. And because we do it in our dumb dance classes."
Uh-oh. That look wasn't good.
Quinn had a glint in her eye and fingered at the fabric of Santana's top. "What song?" Oh so innocently put. This girl, man.
Santana narrowed her eyes at the other girl, "I'm not saying."
Quinn pouted. "No? For real?" She continued to run her fingers up and down Santana's arm.
When she didn't budge Quinn got up and grabbed her phone before hooking it up to her speaker. "Okay, but can I play you something?"
"Sure?"
"But," she held up a finger, "you have to show me what you've been learning."
"Oh no, is this going to be-" She was cut off by the opening sounds of Yes Sir, I Can Boogie. "You're kidding me."
Quinn's self-satisfied smirk remained as she began to move slowly with the music, her hips falling into the rhythm. She came over to Santana on the bed all coy like and totally not fooling anybody.
Mouthing the opening lines she stood at the bed's edge, Santana looked at her with eyebrows raised. "Come," she put her hand out for the other girl to take.
Santana didn't relent as much as she would've liked to have said she had as Quinn pulled her up and into her personal space. They danced pressed close, the song building along with the palpable tension between them.
Only it was broken when Quinn broke away to demonstrate what Soul Train had taught her.
"Okay, okay. You obviously need the help of a dancing," Santana swayed her hips for exaggerated effect, "professionale." Quinn couldn't keep a straight face as Santana sauntered over to her.
"See, you totally dig disco." Quinn said as she stepped into Santana.
"I totally dig you." Santana put her arms around Quinn's neck and lightly stroked the fine hairs she found there with her fingertips.
"Well aren't you quite the smooth talker."
"The ladies love me."
The way Quinn looked at her just then set her alight. She couldn't do the feeling justice. She stared back into the other girl's eyes, utterly hopeless to them. The pull of her gaze was undeniable. Quinn just had a way to put her in a trance. Santana was forever stuck between wanting to fuck (or be fucked by) Quinn and wanting Quinn to wrap her up and just love her to death.
"You're so hot." Santana murmured.
"Will you help me with something?" Quinn's lips asked. No, wait. Not her lips. Quinn, yeah, Quinn asked.
Santana snapped her attention back to Quinn's eyes, feeling a little flustered all of a sudden.
"Yeah, of course."
…
"Why are we outside of a tattoo place?"
"To buy health insurance," Quinn nudged her and pulled her by her hand, "c'mon, Mack told me this guy is the best."
Santana held firm, stopping Quinn from going inside. "Q, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Yeah, now come on."
"But are you sure-sure?"
"God, why are you being like this? I would've thought you'd be on board with a bit of rebellion."
"Yeah, normally I would, but not when I know you'll regret whatever it is you're going to get."
Quinn crossed her arms across her chest, she was shivering slightly in the chilly winter evening. Christmas wasn't far off and didn't everybody know it. The population of Lima sure loved their Christmas lights.
"What's your problem?"
"Nothing!" Santana threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "This is dumb and you know it."
"Santana, I'm pretty much an adult, I can make my own decisions you know. I thought it'd be nice to have you come with me, but obviously I was wrong about that."
"Listen I'm here for this phase you're going through, but you've been telling me since fifth grade that you'd get a tattoo over your dead body. And you look pretty alive to me."
"Well I'm not in fifth grade anymore if you haven't noticed."
"Oh, I've noticed." Santana scoffed.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." Santana lets out a deflated sigh. "I worry about you, Quinn. This just isn't you."
"Are you coming in with me or not?" Quinn held firm, but her mouth twitched with barely held in emotion. She didn't like fighting with Santana, not anymore. To be honest, she never did.
"Q," Santana said softly, "I can't." Her eyes were downcast as she kicked at the pavement.
"This is so stupid, San. Just come in with me." She stepped forward to take Santana's hands in hers, but the other girl just put them in her pockets and shook her head.
"You don't even know what I'm going to get!" Quinn hated this, she felt like she could cry, she was one of those unfortunate people who cried when they were angry or frustrated. And why she was choosing this hill to die on was beyond her. She needed it, didn't she? To listen to herself and what she wanted?
"Okay, what are you going to get?" Santana's voice was resigned, she didn't want to upset Quinn, but she felt it in her gut that this was more than teenage rebellion.
Quinn reached into her pocket and pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper and unfolded it, she took longer than she needed to flatten out the creases to hide the tears building up in her eyes.
She took in a slow, deep breath and held the paper to her chest and looked up into dark brown eyes.
When she turned it over Santana let of a small gasp and immediately wrapped her up in her arms. That was enough to have the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Oh, Q. I'm sorry." Santana rubbed Quinn's back to comfort her as they hugged.
"It's okay. I know I've been acting kinda different."
Santana let out a soft laugh, "I think our definitions of 'kinda' are very different."
At this Quinn laughed too. "Yeah, maybe."
