Please note that this story is a series of shorts based and linked to the Borderlands Fanfic Rebel Anarchy. It advised that you read the noted chapter before reading this chapter for full context.

The events of this chapter take place between chapters 5 and 6 of Rebel Anarchy.

Alright, a quick note to start this off, this series is to show off a number of sidequests that my main story doesn't hit on directly. I'll explain more at the end of the chapter, so with that, sit back and enjoy all of the badassery, humor, and mayhem Vault Hunters.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Borderlands or any of its characters, Borderlands is owned by Gearbox Software and 2K Games, the only ownership I claim is of my own OC's. This is a story just for your fun and enjoyment. Please enjoy.

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-Stories text formats-

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Echo/Radio"

'Krieg's inner voice'

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Chapter Beta Read by "alexyo3"

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Quests of the Day:

-This town isn't big enough-

-Bad Hair day-

-Shielded favors-

-Symbiosis-

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Quest One:

This shield isn't big enough for a Bad symbiotic hair day

It was a quiet starlit morning in Liarsburg, since it was still about the early part of the Pandoran night cycle. Gaige was unknowingly embracing this peace as she soundly slept. To her, everything was normal, everything was perfect as she dreamt away her time.

BOOM!*

Until the sound of an explosion outside jolted the teenager wide awake.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" She yelled as the sounds of a small war quickly erupted outside. She quickly grabbed her Rogue Smuggler off the nightstand and ran outside into the frigid air. With her gun raised and at the ready, she looked around until she noticed everyone minus Krieg was standing near the edge of the chasm by the town's bounty board. The Vault Hunters were all firing wildly down into the chasm as the roar of an angry Bullymong could be heard.

At that moment a Brat Bullymong leaped up from the chasm, and Maya with just a flick of her wrist she cast a Phaselock which trapped the small mong in the air. The others leveled their guns and opened fire, several seconds later the Phaselock dispersed and the bloody guts of what used to be a Bullymong fell back into the chasm.

"HA! That makes eight! Pay up, estúpido!" Salvador turned to Axton.

"Are you crazy, that was obviously my kill!" Axton yelled.

"Ugh, guys, if I recall we agreed that whoever's ability instigated the death would be awarded the kill. And since it was my Phaselock that trapped him, I get the kill. Which also puts me at nine kills, so pay up!" Maya said, holding out her waiting hand.

Salvador and Axton looked at each other and then back to Maya before they each pulled out a wad of cash and gave it to her as they grumbled about her cheating powers. At the same time, Krieg climbed up from the chasm covered in orange blood while Zer0 helped him up.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" Gaige yelled, catching everyone's attention.

"Hey, you're finally awake." Axton said.

"Don't give me that, I was just having a nice dream only to be awoken by the start of a freakin 'world war! Now I'll ask again, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"

"I believe I can answer that my dear." Hammerlock said as he walked over. "I asked your friends here to clean up the burg of these animals that have taken over in several places. Which reminds me." He turned to Axton and pulled out a small device that was slightly smaller than Gaige's lunch box. "Here your payment Vault Hunter."

"Thanks Hammer. Here kid." Axton said as he tossed the device to Gaige. She barely caught it, as it bounced between her freezing hands several times, once she had a good grip on it she looked over the device and realized that it was a simple Tediore personal shield.

"Why are you giving me a shield? Shouldn't one of you take it."

"Well normally yes but after yesterday we decided you need the most protection rookie. Plus out of all of us, your clothing choice is the most unsuited for this weather, I mean look at you, it's a miracle that you didn't freeze just standing here!"

As much as she didn't want to admit it, Axton was right, she was already shivering from the cold. The only reason she had even survived the trek to Liarsburg was because the others had injected her with several insta-heals during the trip which countered any frostbite and allowed her body to be more resistant to the cold for a period of time. But that was only a short-term option as using insta-heals in such dosages over a long period of time was known to have some side effects. "W-well how is a shield suppose to help me?"

"For a girl who's all about tech there sure is a lot you don't know. Shields have two functions, to protect the user from damage and to protect them from the environment. Go ahead, try it on."

Gaige looks down at the shield before shrugging and clipping the shield to her belt and activated it. After the initial power up a protective energy field quickly enveloped her body as Gaige gave a relaxed sigh, as she felt the comforting sensation of a warm blanket being wrapped around her. "That feels good."

She looked over to the others when a thought occurred to her. "Wait, wouldn't Krieg need this more? I mean, he doesn't even have a shirt, actually, how are you not already frozen!?"

"My blood boils with the rage of the Dragonborn's!" Krieg yelled, causing everyone to look at him in confusion and then turn to Maya.

"I'm... not really sure what to make of that." Maya said. "But if standing next to him is any indication the guys like a supercharged space heater." Maya said with happy content.

"Right then, well if any of you are to survive out here for any length of time, you'll need some more shields. I humbly suggest paying a visit to the old Crimson Raider safehouse. You'll need to take the elevator up there." Hammerlock stated.

"Hmm, sounds like a good idea. What do you guys think."

Everyone including Gaige all responded in their own way. "Alright then, everyone, go and get ready, will meet back here in fifteen." Axton said.

Everyone started to move when Hammerlock spoke up again. "Actually I have a few other jobs you can do for me while you're out. I would, of course, pay you for your services."

"Alright, what are these other jobs." Axton asked.

"Do you see my hat? It is the hat of a gentleman. And yet, it's missing something, some je ne sais quois. I think some bullymong fur might do the trick, if you all could bring me some I'll reward you with one of the sniper rifles I have with me. There are a few nests near the Raiders safehouse."

"Sounds easy enough." Axton said.

"Just remember, you'll need to rip it from their hides with your bare hands."

"Okay, not so easy." Axton said in a worried tone.

"Just weaken a Bullymongs with gunfire, then finish them off with fisticuffs! It simple and fun!"

Why didn't you have them do that with the Bullymongs they just killed?" Gaige asked. Everyone looks to Hammer.

"Uh, it slipped my mind." He answered sheepishly.

"I bore of this / I don't see the challenge / My interest isn't peaked." Zer0 said.

"Then let me ask you this, would you like to do battle with a midget riding piggyback on a bullymong?" In response, a question mark appeared on Zer0 helmet as he tilted his head in curiosity. "Over in Blackburn Cove you'll find a midget that has somehow tamed a Bullymong and now rides around on it everywhere. I have tried to observe this more closely but the area has a decent-sized bandit Outpost, making it difficult to get near for a single person. I want you all to find it, observe it, and kill it, and of course, I will compensate you all."

Hmm, a questionable challenge / seems difficult and oddly interesting / we accept the challenge." Zer0 said.

"Excellent! Then once you've gathered your gear from the safehouse, please proceed to the Blackburn Cove and defeat Midge-Mong for me."

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An hour later the gang was standing on the cliff just outside of the town gate and were overlooking the safe house. Which was placed on top of an ice and rock pillar.

"Interesting place to put an outpost." Maya commented.

"This used to be a sizable hub for the resistance, until everyone heard the Hyperion army approaching and fled to Sanctuary." Hammerlock said over the ECHO.

"So what do you see Zer0?" Axton asked the assassin as he observed the objective with an old Vladof sniper rifle.

"Two Marauders standing guard / they know not our presence / . . . They are just talking."

"What are they talking about?" Sal asked with a cheeky grin. Zer0 give him an angry face glare since he knew the small Vault Hunter was being an ass, before turning back to his observation.

"Hmm, well if they're the only ones go ahead and take them out." Axton said.

The Assassin chambered a round and was about to fire when Gaige spoke up. "Wait a minute… Could I have a shot at it?"

Meanwhile, down at the base of the safehouse. There were two Marauders standing watch over the bay. As they stood there a bullet whizzed by, but neither of the Marauder seemed to be aware of it.

"... Hey."

"Yeah?" The other Marauder who wore a bandana around his neck asked as another projectile flew by and one could hear a young girl yell "Crap" in the distance.

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

"... Ugh, for the millionth time! We're here because we wanted to live the life of a bandit, free from responsibility and the "morals" of society! And look what we've got to show for it, a bunch of botched robberies, a bounty for killing a Shariff on a remote colony, and now acting as henchmen for a crazed pirate who has marooned us on a damn glacier, on the deadliest of planets in the known galaxies."

". . . At least you didn't shoot no deputy."

The "You did not just reference that song." The Marauder with the bandana said as another bullet whizzed by followed by several distant swears.

"What, it's a good song."

"Maybe eight hundred years ago." It was then silent for several seconds as sniper rounds kept missing both of the oblivious Marauders with plenty of space, with a random explicative being yelled in the distance. Then the bandana Marauder started to hum the song I shot the Sheriff until he suddenly caught himself. "DAMMIT! Now it's stuck in my head!" The Marauder yelled as the other laughed at him as his partner punched him in the shoulder. "Not funny asshole!"

"Ah lighten up, it's just a song."

"Yeah, a song that I fucking hate! I'd be willing to take a bullet through the brain if it meant getting this stupid song out of my fucking- *SHUCK! WHOMP!*

". . . Out of your fucking whaaaaat the?!" The Marauder said in sudden shock as he turned to find his buddy on the ground with a melon-sized hole through his face. The Marauder just stared at his former buddy for several seconds. ". . . HA!"

Back on the cliff. "I could have gotten them… Eventually." Gaige said as Zer0 reloaded the sniper rifle he had taken back after Gaige went through nearly three full mags.

"Gaige, firstly, I don't know how you didn't even alert those morons with your yells, but how did you MISS EVERY SHOT!?" Axton yelled. Three seconds later a bullet whizzed by his head. "Oh, that they heard!"

"DUCK!" Salvador yelled as everyone followed his warning, just as a torrent of bullets started peppering the cliff sides as a dozen bandits poured out of the outpost.

About ten minutes later the vault hunters had managed to kill all the Bandits and had climbed down to the outpost. After Zer0 and Krieg had cleared the lower floors of a few stragglers they looked around for a way up until they found a lift. They all got on and Salvador tried the lever, only for nothing to happen. "What the hell?"

Sal tried the lever several more times until Hammerlock piped in on their ECHO's. "Of course, I forgot to mention, the safehouse power box stopped working after Claptrap attempted to… integrate with it." For several seconds nobody said anything as they tried to. . . process that thought.

"Ah, what a kidder! Just get a new fuse for the elevator, and ignore what he said about that power box." Claptrap chimed in.

"I wish I could. I seriously didn't need that image in my head." Maya said.

"I'm just glad DT isn't active right now. A kill bot of his age shouldn't hear such things." Gaige said in a motherly tone.

"Alright, then where do we get a new fuse?" Axton asked. Everyone then looked to Gaige who realized they were staring at her.

"Why is everyone looking at me?!"

"You're the mechanic here, don't you have some fuses or something?" Maya asked.

"Ah, ha… Ha ha ha! Do I look like the type of person that would use such a primitive piece of tech. Plus, look at the size of that slot. The fuse you would need to jam in there is the size of my arm!"

Sal snickered at the statement only to receive a whack on the back of his head from Zer0. As he rubbed the spot Zer0 hit he looked back to the teen.

"Well if you don't have a fuse, then how will we get up to the top." Axton asked.

Everyone was silent as they pondered this question until their ECHO's came on again as a young voice could be heard. "I might have a suggestion."

"Angel? Huh wasn't sure if you were still with us since we haven't heard from you." Axton stated

"I've been trying to find a way to help you reach sanctuary faster, but I haven't had much luck. However, I can help with your current situation. There should be a bandit outpost about one kilometer east of you. The Bandits there should have a fuse you can use. It also appears to be the passage to the place Hammerlock has designated for your other job."

"Hey! That's great. We can get all the jobs done in one shot." Sal said.

"Like hell we are! My ovaries are freezing here! As soon as we get that fuse we are coming back here and buy a Goddamn shield!" Everyone stared at Maya, unsure what to say for several seconds. Until Gaige let a small snort out, then another, and then a giggle until it quickly became a full-blown laugh. This was followed by everyone else laughing.

About fifteen minutes later they were all behind a snowbank and observing the outpost. "Okay, here the plan." Axton said.

"Um, Axton."

"Not now. Now Gaige and Salvador will flank to the left and cause a distraction."

"Axton?"

"Not now. Zer0 and I will provide range cover.

"Axton?"

While Maya and Krieg will… where Krieg?

"AXTON!"

Axton spun around to face Gaige. "What Gaige! What is so important that you need to repeatedly interrupt me!" Gaige pointed out towards the frozen bay which Axton followed till he saw what she was pointing to. ". . . Oh."

Krieg was charging at full speed towards the outpost. "THERE BLOOD IN THOSE HILLS!"

"DAMN IT KRIEG!" Axton ran after the Psycho as the others ran after him.

Over in the outpost, a bandit decided to take a set on an old barrel as he thought about his current life. 'Stuck in a frozen wasteland with a bunch of idiotic bastards.' The bandit suddenly found himself kicked to the ground with his head buried as Krieg landed on the bandits back in a crouched stance. "Crouching midget! Hidden elephant!" Krieg yelled before charging at another group.

The others finally caught up and a fight quickly began. Gaige who had been bringing up the rear slide to a halt as a Psycho suddenly jumped in front of her with an axe, at the ready. Gaige immediately brought her shotgun up and blasted the bandit in the body, knocking him off his feet. Gaige was in a bit of a panic as she had just shot and killed someone again. "Okay Gaige, just relax, he attacked you. It-it was self-defense. You had every right."

Then to Gaige's horror the Psycho she had blasted suddenly pulled himself out of the snow. "You sat in my swing! NOW I'M GONNA EAT YOU!"

Gaige screamed and blasted the Psycho again. "Owe! That stung!" The Psycho said as it got back up with several bullet wounds.

"What the fuck are you guys made of!?" Gaige yelled in panic.

"Rocks, snot, and ass crack! LOTS OF ASS CRACK!" The Psycho replied enthusiastically.

"Okay. I didn't need to know that." Gaige said before she began spamming her trigger until the whole mag was emptied into the Psycho… Who was still standing.

"Feast your eyes on my elderberries!" The Psycho yelled before falling face-first into the bloodied snow and to Gaige's relief he did not get back up.

"Well, that was a chore." Gaige muttered before turning to find another target.

The rest of the fight went quickly until several Bullymong rushed out of a few hidden holes in the rock wall and attacked everyone. After some more fighting, the team had managed to kill off all the bandits. They even manage to grab several pieces of fur for Hammerlock. "These samples will do admirably! Find me a few more, if you please. There should be some more near Blackburn."

"Right we will go after we get some shields. Now where the fuse?" Axton asked.

"Behind that." Gaige stated pointing to the electric arc fence that was blocking their way.

"Oh… How do we get through that?"

Before Gaige could answer, Claptrap interrupted. "Just run through the fence, you won't take damage if you go fast enough!" He said over their ECHO's.

"Easy enough!" Salvador yelled as he bolted for the fence.

"SAL WAIT!" Gaige yelled but he didn't stop and ran headfirst in.

"YEEEAAAAUHUAAAAAAWWWWAAA!" *BANG* Sal is sent flying back into the snowbank looking a bit crisper than before. "Ow."

"Woah, that looked like it hurt. Do it again!"

Before anyone could retort Krieg ran at the fence and impacted it. "IIIIIIIIIII TAAAAAAASSSSTEE TTTTHHHHEEE UUNNNIIIIIVEEREEEEESSSS!" He yelled before getting launched even further back then Sal.

"Uh, maybe you're not running fast enough?"

"CLAPTRAP! You're not helpin-"

"YAAAAAAA- *ZAP* AAAAAAAAAGH!" *BANG* Sal is launched back again

"Ooh! I've got it! You've just gotta-" Static suddenly overtakes the ECHO.

"If I could, um, make a suggestion? You could just shoot the fuse box to shut off the electricity, then grab the capacitor." Angel said over everyone ECHO's.

BA-BANG!" Everyone turned to find Gaige with her Rogue Smuggler out and smoking, they then looked to see the power box shot out as the power was cut. "That's what I've been trying to say." Gaige said as she walked over and quickly yanked out the fuse.

"Good job, Gaige. I'll be around if I have anything that can help you." Angel said before she cut out.

Before the Vault Hunters could do anything else there ECHOs came on again. "There you guys are, I lost the signal there for a second. OH, you got the fuse? GREAT! Just plug that fuse into Brewster's powerbox, and you'll be able to ride the elevator!" Claptrap yelled to Sal and Krieg moans.

"Claptrap, will you just SHUT UP!" Sal yelled.

-X-X-X-

After an hour to get back to the outpost, buy some shields (which Gaige had to buy since she was the only one with enough cold cash) and another hour to get through the crevasse to the bay where they had to fight several more Bullymongs which apparently they could only kill with melee combat to get the fur, they finally reached Blackburn Cove. The sorriest excuse for a town Gaige had ever seen. "How is this place still even standing?"

"Leave it to good old Pandoran ingenuity and insanity." Sal said proudly.

"More insanity then ingenuity if you ask me." Maya muttered.

"OI!" Sal voiced out at the insult.

"Does anyone actually live here?" Gaige asked.

Just then a Psycho comes running across the bridge into town. "For the inquisition that is my belly!" Before the bandit could make it halfway to them a set of tentacles shot out of the water, grabbed the bandit, and pulled him into the water.

Everyone just stared in horror. "Wh-what was that?" Gaige asked in a slightly terrified tone.

"That would be a Squonax. Nasty creatures, they can attack both on land and sea. Luckily they only stay near the coastline… Just throw a grenade or two in before going across the bridge, it should scare it off."

Everyone started moving for the bridge with the exception of Gaige which Axton noticed. "Something wrong?" Axton asked.

"Y-yeah, tentacles just freak me out."

"Why?"

"Have you ever seen Tentacle Fury 9?"

Axton raised an eyebrow as he looked at the teen. "Yeah, that's a damn fine horror movie. A timeless classic, and considered one of the best films of all time… Why?"

"I saw it on accident when I was five. I watched the whole thing by myself." She said as they watched Sal and Maya chucked several Grenades into the water where they explode into plums of water.

Axton just stared at the girl with a bit of dread. "Please tell me it wasn't the director's cut."

"It wasn't." Gaige said as Axton let out a sigh of relief. "It was the Director's remastered edition which added an extra hour of horror, plus that… one scene with the cheerleader." She said nervously as she continued to stare at the water.

Axton just stared at the girl in shock for several seconds before turning to everyone. "Hey guys, save some grenades!"

After Gaige had thrown more than half of the group's grenades into the bay, it didn't take long for them to fight their way through the town until they got to what they guessed was a patio area. "Alright, where is this guy? You would think a midget riding a Bullymong would be easy to find."

"HEY! A BAR!" Salvador yelled as he ran up to a bar at the top of a nearby ramp.

"And now we're getting drunk on mission… Ha, feels just like home."

"So what now?" Maya asked.

"Well, this guy could possibly not even be here anymore. So the only thing we can do is check the area again-"

BANG* AAAAAAAAAH!" They all turned to see Sal screaming as he fell from the balcony above and onto the deck. "Ugh, my gut."

The gang all looked up to see a Bullymong wearing heavy spiked red armor plates on its upper arms and head. Riding on its back is a badass Midget with a pair of Hyperion SMGs. "HI HO BLOOD CRAP! WE BE HAVING DINNER IN OUR MIDST!" The Midget yelled as the Bullymong roared.

Gaige just looked to everyone else. "Okay I have to ask before we start this, is it just me or is he trying to sound like a cowboy and an old English sailor?"

Before anyone could respond, Midge-Mong jumped down, grabbed a nearby broken club tabletop, and flung it like a shuriken. Zer0 ran in front of Maya and sliced the offending slab of steel with his katana. Krieg lunged at Midge-Mong with his buzz axe only for the beast to jump away as Gaige and Axton opened fire only to miss the duo as they ducked behind a wall.

Gaige ran over and looked only to find nothing." Where they go!?" Before anyone could react Midge-Mong seemed to have jumped from atop of a nearby roof and landed on Axton sending him sliding through several tables and chairs. Maya fired off a Phaselock but Midge-Mong jumped again causing the blast to hit and melt a corpse from the earlier fight.

Upon landing, the Bullymong grabbed a chair and table and throw one at Krieg who hit the chair away, while Gaige had to duck to dodge the table while the midget fired at Zer0

Sal got up and pulled out his shotgun and a Dahl assault rifle and fired. Dozens of rounds pelted the odd duo, the Bullymong roared in anger as the midget yelled, "Case off brother!" Immediately the mong took off towards Gaige who saw what was coming. Gaige duck again as Midge-Mong jumped over her and off the deck.

Gaige got up and looked over the railing. "I lost them!"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" Salvador yelled.

"That my friends was Midge-Mong. What an unlikely symbiotic relationship, two deadly creatures cooperating to survive this harsh environment! Also, the midget looks like a little human backpack, and that's funny." Hammerlock stated over the ECHO.

"Well, that's nice. But now it has to die." Axton growled as he pulled the charging handle on his rifle as Maya and Zer0 moved next to him.

"Yes, while it's a shame to have to end such a unique bond, it is also an abnormality that needs to be dealt with extreme violence. If nature intended for us to ride bullymong, we all would be riding them."

"Just one problem with that." Maya said. "How do we even-.

There was a loud crash as a pair of arms burst through the wooden deck and grabbed Axton ankles. "What the FUUUCK!" He screamed as he was pulled down beneath the deck.

Maya and Zer0 pierced down the hole in panic. "Axton! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just- Wait. OH SHIT!" The sounds of gunshots, roars, and several things breaking could be heard as parts of the floor buckled. "GOD DAMN- *WHACK!* AGH SON OF A- *WHAM!* . . . I'm gonna be pissing blood tonight."

Midge-Mong burst through the floor and threw several boards at the Vault Hunters as the Midget fired at Gaige and Sal. "Die for us so that you may feed our herd."

Sal kicked a table over to provide cover for Gaige and himself. "Fucking hell, what is this thing?" Sal yelled as he reloaded his guns.

"It's like a bad monster from an action horror movie that doesn't give a shit about realism." Gaige said as a bullet shot through the table to the right of her head. "For fuck sakes, we outnumber the thing six to one and we haven't even slowed it yet!"

Sal slapped in the last mag on his guns and turned to Gaige. "Ready niñita?"

"Uh, ready to do-"

"ATTACK!" Sal yelled as he stood up and fired wildly at Midge-Mong which Gaige quickly got up and mimicked. Only for both of them to immediately duck as a chair flew over them. "Okay, that didn't work."

"Thank you captain obvious." Gaige retorted.

As the Midget kept firing until a buzz axe suddenly flew by, narrowly missing it by a hair. The midget turned to see Krieg charging at them. "GET STYLED UPON!" Before Krieg could reach them, Midge-Mong jumped up making Krieg miss his axe swing. Just as they were passing, Midge-Mong used Krieg's back as a springboard and launched itself to the other side of the deck where Maya threw her Tediore SMG at them.

To everyone's shock, the Bullymong grabbed the SMG out of the air, spun around and flung it at twice the speed back at Maya. The gun landed right at her feet and exploded knocking the siren back. Sal and Gaige took the opportunity to attempt to fire again but Midge had been watching and fired immediately upon the two making them duck back down. As if to add insult to injury the Bullymong started grabbing loose body parts that were laying around and throwing them in their general direction as Midge just laughed.

"Screw this fucking noise / this one won't hold still / so I'll make them." Zer0 stated as he walked out from cover and drew his katana. Midge-Mong turned and saw the challenge.

"We're gonna make yer walk the plank yer desperado."

"Will you just pick one vernacular or the other, you can't use both!" Gaige screamed.

Neither one moved as the wind slowly blew several scraps of paper between them. The partners Midge-Mong stared at Zer0 with rampant anticipation while Zer0 held his cold emotionless gaze on them. As if an unseen bell was rung, both opponents charged forward at speeds the other Vault Hunters could barely follow, but they all saw Midge-Mong seemed to be just a little faster as the Bullymong launched a double-fisted right punch, only to fly through Zer0. "WHAT!?" The midget yelled.

"What!?" All the Vault Hunters asked.

Before anything else could happen Zer0 disappears to reveal that Midge-Mong had attacked a Hologram, and the real Zer0 materializes behind Midge-Mong with a slash towards the midgets neck. The Bullymong barely reacted in time by leaping straight up to save its rider, but not itself as Zer0 sliced through all four of the creature's arms. The Bullymong roared in pain as it fell to the ground which knocked off the Midget. The mong roared as it tried to stand on its weak legs, Zer0, however, didn't give it the chance as he spun around in the blink of an eye. At which the Mong stop making any noises and stop moving, while Zer0 slowly mimics sheathing of his sword on his back. Upon completing the act the mong head slowly slid off the body and fell to the floor with the body collapsing behind it a second later.

"BLOOD CRAP! MY FRIEND! Yer killed my partner you dirty rapscallion bastard! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Zer0 turned to face the midget and stared at it, then a red X appeared over his visor. "Banryoku ya/ Shi ha ichidan wo/ Motte taru"

". . . What?" The Midget asked only to hear a click of a pistol hammer being cocked. He turned and found a Jakob's pistol shoved in his face by Krieg.

"He said eat a bullet, dead man." A single bang rang out as the midget's brains painted the deck behind him as his body fell limp.

'That not exactly what that means, but I guess it close enough so I'll let it slide.' Krieg inner self-stated as Krieg picked up the body and held it up for everyone to see. "I CATCH A POKEMON!" Krieg yelled.

"Good job Krieg… also what a Pokemon?" Gaige asked.

"A stunning riposte!" Hammerlock said. "That fracas was most helpful to my studies on Bullymong social structures. And you've collected more than enough fur for my hat and to sample, excellent. I shall study the fur for my almanac about the creatures of Pandora. Now return to town at your earliest convenience so that you may be rewarded Vault Hunters."

"Finally, that was one of the worst fights I've ever had." Sal lamented. As everyone picked themselves up.

"Agreed, Zer0, get the fur. Krieg, dump that body off the dock. Everyone else, loot the area." Maya ordered which was immediately followed as everyone walked off to do their thing. Well, almost everyone.

"Um, guys? Guys?... A little help down here… I can't move… GUYS!" Axton yelled.

After gathering the fur, looting the area, and finally freeing Axton from his entrapment, the gang made it back to Liarsburg. "A trillion thanks, Vault Hunter! You've helped a foolish old man look far more badass than he deserves… I'm referring to myself, of course." Hammerlock stated as he put a fleck of fur into his hat before he put it on. "So how do I look?"

"Sophisticated." Maya replied.

"Badass!" Axton threw in.

"And suave as fuck." Gaige added with a thumbs up.

"Well, how do I look minions?" Claptrap said as he rolled over with a Bullymong fur mohawk.

"Wait? Where did you get that fur Claptrap." Maya asked.

"I gave it to him." Sal said as he walked over brandishing a new uncommon Torgue shotgun on his back.

"Well, tell me what you all think." Claptrap said. As if the universe decided to answer a lightning bolt strikes Claptrap with a blinding flash and thunderous crack! When everyone looked back after getting their sight back, they saw claptrap standing in the middle of a small crater… with his new hair on fire. "I think I'm just gonna go outside the town wall and cry some."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-O-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

And with that, the Vault Hunters completes the first set of side quests in the Rebel Anarchy series. I started this as a way to both take breaks from the main story when I am having writer's block while still keeping in the mindset of it. Yes, it's more work, yes it takes time from the main story but, hey I'm doing this for fun, so mah. The next one will be about the mission Assassinate the Assassins which should be fun to write and it will be the first one that adds Kai.

Truth be told, this isn't the only such side story I have in R . One might be released soon with the next chapter of Rebel Anarchy, the other has to wait for certain events to occur before it can be released. But the bottom line is, more chaos, more action, more insanity, more explosion, and more Borderlands!

A last note, credit needs to be given for the use of a haiku I found made by the late Ueda Gosengoku (1933-1997)

With that, I bid everyone a good day or night. So till next time, Kilo8 out.

X-X-X

1. Ueda Gosengoku (1933-1997)

-Japanese-

万緑や 死は一弾を 以て足る

Banryoku ya/ Shi ha ichidan wo/ Motte taru

-English-

Myriad green leaves / Single bullet is / Enough for death