Chapter Nineteen
A week had passed since the group call and it was still the topic of conversation about the loft. She would have appreciated the drama of it more if it didn't involve her ex potentially upping a disappearing completely, but hey, she's not a poor sport. And it's the first time she's felt good about talking openly about Quinn with the others.
"So who do you think Tom is?" Rachel mused as she peeled an orange.
"Tom sounds old. You don't think she's shacked up with an old man do you?"
"Kurt, don't say that ever again. I may be physically ill," she managed to joke. "Mercedes said she saw them out together. They're probably just friends."
The name rang a bell, but it didn't mean anything to her.
"Maybe, but what if-"
A knock at their door interrupted any further discussion.
"I'll get it," Rachel offered as trotted over to the loft's door to heave it open, orange forgotten on the kitchen counter.
"Who is it?" Santana asked from her slouched position on the couch.
"It's not who, it's what." Rachel returned, a basket of candies, chocolates, and treats. "It's addressed to you."
That had her interest.
"Me?" She asked, shooting upright to take the basket out of Rachel's hands. "Who would send this?"
"Why are you asking me? Open it!" Rachel said as she squished herself next to the spot next to Santana.
Before she even opened the card attached, she paused. Her heart already in her throat, she knew that handwriting.
"What is it?" Kurt questioned as he came to sit on her other side.
"It's the writing," instead of continuing she stood to open the card deeper into the loft, away from prying eyes.
To Santana,
Sweets for your tooth.
Here's my new number, sorry I couldn't call.
Love, Quinn xoxo
And below was Quinn's new number, bold and clear as day.
"What does it say?" Rachel's voice suddenly appearing from over her shoulder made her jump out of her skin.
"Rach, don't do that," she said as she held the card against her chest, to steady her heart, but to mostly hide the private message.
"Well?"
"I'm going out for a bit," Santana said as she slipped on her shoes and pulled a light jacket off the coat rack. "I'll see you later." And before Rachel or Kurt could protest, she was gone.
She just needed some privacy. And so she obviously came to a very public place.
The park would work she thought as she chose a bench to sit on, a fluttery feeling in her chest as she pulled the card out to copy the numbers into her phone.
It rang three times before it picked up.
"Hello?" She began.
"San?" It was Quinn.
"Yeah, hey."
"Hey!" Quinn's excitement was contagious, she suppressed a small laugh as she continued. "I'm so glad you called. I can't tell you how stressed I've been trying to get back in touch, it's honestly so stupid. I fucked my phone and lost everything."
"You fucked your phone? Doesn't sound healthy, Q," Santana joked, momentarily forgetting how they'd been the past few months.
Hearing the laugh on the other end made her lips twitch with a smile.
"I'll have to tell you about it sometime."
"Yeah, that'd be nice I think," Santana didn't mean to sound so unsure.
"Yeah," Quinn parroted softly.
Then it occurred to her, "How'd you get my address?"
"Well that's a part of the story, so spoilers," Quinn sang down the phone, turning that twitch into a full blown smile. "I was in LA with Tom and I was still panicking about the whole phone thing when I saw Mercedes again, total life saver. She gave me your address and I sent you sugar in the hope you could forgive my stupidity."
So Mercedes had seen Quinn since their call?
"Why didn't you just get my number off of her?"
"Well..." she began, "we had this crazy idea. Which, just so you know, I think is still a little crazy."
Hold up. "Wait, you were in LA?"
"That's the thing. We're in New York."
"You're what?"
"I'm in New York." Silence passed between them. "I promise it was all booked before I even saw Mercedes. If that's totally weird, honestly, I swear I'll leave. I knew this was a bad idea, shit."
This didn't make sense. Where was this Quinn when she needed her?
"Slow down, just wait a second. Why?"
"Well the plan was to find you and give you my number."
"Quinn, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
Quinn's laughter rang down the line, "I know, I know. It's so stupid."
"Where are you staying?"
"Some hotel in Brooklyn. I'm with my friend Tom, he came up with the idea. No wonder it's such a bad one."
A distant and indignant, "Hey!" could be heard on the other end of the phone.
"How long are you here for?"
"For the rest of break. Well, Tom's break."
"So a while, huh?" Santana swallowed. Isn't this what she wanted? For Quinn to be in New York with her?
Yeah, months ago.
She played with the peeling paint on the arm of the bench as she thought about what she was going to say next.
They may have unresolved issues, but if they had any hope in resolving them perhaps she could take this opportunity to talk things through in person. See what changed, no bullshit, just the truth.
"San?"
"I'm still here. Just thinking."
"Okay," came the quiet reply.
"If you'd like we could meet. Lunch tomorrow sound good to you?"
"I'd love to."
"Good. Any preference for time?"
"No, I'm free whenever."
"Okay, I'll text you later."
"Okay."
"Bye, Quinn."
"Bye."
Ending the call, Santana sat at the bench for another few minutes to take it all in before she went back home to tell the others.
...
"Please stop moving, you're giving me a headache." Tom groaned from his spot on Quinn's bed as she walked around the hotel room, picking things up, moving them, folding them.
"I can't, if I stop I think I'll have a heart attack."
"And people call me dramatic."
"Am I sweating? I feel like I'm sweating?" Quinn fanned her face with her hands, as she got ready to leave and meet Santana at a restaurant she'd picked out.
"Just chill out. This is Santana. You'll be fine."
"You don't know Santana like I do."
"Would you look at the time," Tom tapped his bare wrist, "looks like it's time for you to stop being a little bitch and go and plead your case."
"Okay, okay," Quinn said through short breaths, picking up her bag and brushing out invisible creases in her clothes.
"You look fine. Go!"
Tom's insistence was not helping. "I'm going, I'm gone."
In the hallway, she steeled her nerves. She was an adult now, it was time to face the music like one.
...
Santana's foot struck a rapid beat as she tapped it against the wooden floor of the restaurant she'd chosen. It was a perfectly nice place, Rachel wouldn't shut up about its open planning and natural light. She could see where she was coming from, but god. That girl could talk.
Kurt and Rachel had encouraged her to hear Quinn out, maybe it would be easier to talk in person than over the phone. Or exponentially worse.
She supposed she'd find out.
"I think it's under Lopez?" Santana heard from behind her, her heart jumping into her throat and foot stopping dead in its tracks.
Chancing a look over her shoulder she saw Quinn, hair a little longer, skin sun-kissed and glowing.
Heat prickled at her skin as hazel eyes turned to meet hers. At least she still knew that hadn't changed much.
As Quinn got closer, Santana noticed the speckle of freckles dotted across the bridge of her nose and couldn't help the small smile she gave in response to Quinn's nervous one.
"Hey," she greeted, voice shaking.
"Hey," Santana replied in turn as Quinn came around the table to sit opposite her, her mouth dry as her eyes skated across the other woman's face.
"Thanks for seeing me," Quinn started, fingers fidgeting with the cutlery in front of her.
"It's okay, it's nice to see you," Santana shrugged, eyes dropping to break their gaze. "You look good by the way," she gestured to Quinn's tan, "an improvement on your tanning techniques I see."
Quinn's cheeks deepened a shade of pink as she self-consciously ran a hand along her arm, "Yeah. Peeling is so last season," she added with a small grin.
"So, what's new with you?"
"I think I'm officially a seamstress." Of all the words Santana could have imagined coming out of Quinn's mouth, those were not it. "Okay, that sounded a little left-field, here," Quinn brought her bag up onto her lap and pulled out a camera. "I'll show you what I've been doing."
"You made that?" Santana asked, amazed, as Quinn flicked through multiple photos of a drag queen standing under the light of a fire exit door, cigarette in hand, head tilted back as smoke billowed from their lips. She could see the inspiration from Quinn's old wardrobe, the flow of the dress, the image it was trying to create, the story it was trying to tell.
"Yeah," Quinn smiled proudly, "that's Tom. I told you about him before, but it was a while ago now so I don't know if you'll remember. He's the guy I met on the cruise, he goes to college in LA and we live together."
Continuing through her album, one photo captured Santana's eye, "Stop."
"This one?"
"Yeah."
"This is one of my favourites," Quinn continued as she turned the camera towards her again, a picture of Quinn in loose dungarees, white bralet, a huge smile on her face as she crouched low to the ground, Tom, she assumed, shirtless and with very short-shorts, mouth wide in what must have been a scream, leap-frogging over her. It looked like they were by the beach, sand lining the pavement. A man roller-skating, a blur as he passed them. A luminous orange glow about them, sunset.
Santana still thought about last summer. How fucking good it was. The beach, the sun, her family, Quinn. She hadn't been to LA since, despite her dad's offer. It'd be nice to go back.
It really was a beautiful picture.
"Looks great," her voice strained as she gave Quinn a shaky smile.
The corners of Quinn's mouth dipped at her words.
"Yeah," she tucked her camera back into her bag, settling her hand flat atop the table after she did. "What about you? How are things?"
"Oh, the usual. College work, that kind of thing."
"Nice."
God, this was painful. It was like every conversation they'd had since the first one. So much for it being better in person.
"Can I take your order?" The waitress thankfully broke the silence.
"I'll just get the vegan burger, thanks."
"I'll get the same," Quinn smiled, handing the waitress the menus. "Are you vegan now?"
"Nah, not really. But I've been trying it out because of Rach, it saves when buying groceries to just get the stuff we can all eat."
"Well I never," Quinn's lips quirked upward.
"What?" Santana narrowed her eyes.
"Nothing," she said, smile betraying her.
Leaning on her elbows to lean towards Quinn, Santana met her gaze in challenge, "Tell me."
"It's nothing I swear," Quinn pleaded, covering her face to hide the heat in her cheeks.
"Okay, okay," Santana conceded, sitting back in her chair.
The silence they fell back into wasn't awkward. Rather, reflective as they looked at each other.
Santana sighed before, "I've missed you," spilled from her lips.
Smiling sadly, Quinn nodded, "I've missed you too."
"I know what I said before about it being hard to be friends again," she said as she scrunched her napkin into a ball, "but I'd prefer it to be hard than to not have you in my life at all. I hate to admit it but when I couldn't get through to you, it really hurt me. Like a lot. And I know it was an accident now, but at the time I thought that was it and it sucked."
"I'd like that," she said as she scratched patterns into the napkin with her fork. "I wish I could have articulated myself better and I wish I could have gone about things differently, but all I can do now is show you that I've grown and that I'm trying to overcome those feelings that made me act that way in the first place." She took a steadying breath, eyes never leaving the spot where her fork pressed into paper. "It was a smack in the face that I went and let you down like that." She finally lifted her eyes to meet Santana's, the sincerity conveyed rocked her. "I know I've said it over the phone, but with you here in front of me I just want to say sorry. For how things ended. For hurting you."
If Santana tried to speak she was sure she'd just make noise, so instead she pressed her lips together and nodded.
Their food came and created a nice reprieve into topics that were lighter, ones that caught each other up on what the other had been up to.
"You have to take me to a gay club, I cannot in good conscience be here and not go to one," Quinn said with a stab to one of her fries.
"Yes," Santana enthused, "you'll love it. Poor little Berry will be outnumbered once more. Who am I kidding? She goes to NYADA. She's always outnumbered."
Quinn tilted her head back in a laugh before she became wide-eyed and excited, "And I could take photos."
"Oh god, you're going to have Kurt throwing himself over every piece of furniture aren't you?"
"Like you won't be doing the exact same?"
"What can I say? The camera loves me."
...
With the bill paid, Santana asked Quinn if she wanted to go for a walk so she could show Quinn some of New York. Quinn did her best not to accept too eagerly in case she scared Santana off, she felt like she'd already taken up so much of her day.
"We caught a good day," Santana mused aloud.
"Yeah, rain might've put a real dampener on things."
With a groan, Santana bumped shoulders with Quinn.
"Nice to see you didn't get any funnier since I last saw you."
"Ouch," Quinn feigned a stab to the heart, a hand held to her chest.
They'd been walking for an hour or so and she'd honestly hardly paid any attention to the city, everything ricocheting around her brain was about Santana, Santana, Santana. It was exciting. Frightening, but exciting.
She didn't want to get ahead of herself, they'd only just gotten back in touch, but it was difficult. She felt insane for being so obsessed.
"Are you even listening to me?"
Quinn flushed, "Huh?"
"What are you thinking about?"
Quinn's blush deepened, "I don't know. I'm just overwhelmed I guess."
Santana nodded, looking back ahead, "Yeah, the city is crazy. A far cry from Lima, but surely LA is just as busy?"
Just as she was about to respond a voice she didn't recognise called out for Santana. A voice that belonged to a beautiful, tall, goddess of a woman. Quinn felt a little bit of herself shrivel up and die when they embraced for a little longer than 'just friends' would. When Santana turned back towards her to introduce her to this apparent hook-up she could feel the tightness in her smile, the twitch of her lips as they worked overtime to maintain a somewhat welcoming appearance.
Of course Santana moved on. What if this was a new girl she's dating?
It's not like she wasn't the one who broke things off, she couldn't help but feel that had this coming to her. But, fuck. It hurt.
"You're coming to my party tonight, right?" The beautiful stranger asked.
Santana flipped her hair over her shoulder with a light laugh, "Oh, maybe. I haven't asked Kurt and Rach yet, so I'll have to leave you in suspense a little longer."
The other woman matched her laugh, it set Quinn's teeth on edge.
"Well you know where to find me," she said with a wink, "hopefully I'll see you later. And it was nice to meet you, Quinn."
With a short nod of acknowledgment, Quinn couldn't say the same.
...
"And you invited her?" Kurt asked, confusion painting every word.
"Well, yeah."
"And she agreed to come?"
"Yes! How many times? Why what's the problem?" Santana asked from her spot on the opposite side of the kitchen, arms now crossed.
"Don't you think this has the potential to get a little messy?"
"Why?"
"Considering Quinn is your ex-girlfriend and Sarah is the girl currently pining for you, I'd consider that a powder keg."
"That's ridiculous, Kurt," she scoffed. "Firstly, Quinn and I have agreed to rebuild our friendship, and Sarah? She knows I don't like her like that. It's fine."
"Okay," Kurt laughed sardonically, "if that's what you believe I won't get in the way of your delusions."
Santana felt her hackles rise, she didn't get why Kurt was bothered.
"Why are you getting on my case so much?"
"Because you were miserable not so long ago and I don't think this is the best way to go about resolving the issues that caused that."
Okay, so maybe Santana noticed that Quinn was a little cold towards Sarah, and maybe Santana kind of liked that Quinn was jealous. Maybe Kurt was very correct. But maybe, just maybe, they could all go out together and have a good time. Because at the end of the day, Quinn was in the city and it had been long-awaited. Even though they had a lot to work through, Santana wanted to spend time with her. Having Rachel and Kurt there would be like taking a support raft, they probably wouldn't need to do much but be there for her, but they'd be there if anything went awry.
"Okay," Santana held her hands up, "I hear you. But Kurt, you and Rach will be there. And I know you've missed Quinn too, it wasn't just me who lost out."
...
"And you said yes? Are you crazy?"
"Tom, it'll be fine."
"I'm coming with you."
"Obviously."
To be honest, Quinn didn't know why she agreed either. Well, no. She definitely knows why. The reason came in the form of an insanely gorgeous, intelligent, witty, hilarious...
"Earth to Quinn."
Pulling together an outfit for the party out of her suitcase, Quinn broke from her reverie with a, "Shut up," in Tom's direction.
How could she have possibly said no?
