Hey guys... This chapter is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to write. I'm not sure why. I've written things a lot darker than this, but... If you watched DWTS on Monday, you'll probably know why...

Hope you enjoy.


"He's gonna be okay, you know," James says softly as he extends his arm forward and places his hand on Katie's shoulder. After having left the waiting room, James had headed in the direction of the cafeteria and bought Katie a plate of food, but she had yet to touch any of it. "Carlos is one of the strongest people I know, Katie. He'll be alright."

"Can you stop lying to me?" Even though the sentence is supposed to be a question, it sounds more like a demand to James, who can sense the bitterness in the younger girl's tone.

"I'm not lying to you."

"Carlos tried to kill himself, James," Katie says with a glare directed in the brunet's direction. "Happy-go-lucky Carlos, who is always trying to make everyone happy, tried to end his life. What part of that sounds okay to you?"

"I never said it sounded okay. It's not okay. I'm scared too, Katie, I'm terrified, but we have to have some faith in Carlos. Faith that he'll recover, both from the injuries the accident caused him, as well as whatever it is that caused him to do what he did."

Katie bites down on her lower lip, willing the tears that have began to blur her vision to go away. "I just want my older brother back," she says softly.

James is about to respond when he sees Kendall and Logan heading their way. "You'll get him back," he says sadly just as the two boys reach their destination.

"Hey," Logan says to James as he approaches him. "Can I sit down?"

James just nods in response, not saying a single word.

"Hey, baby sister." Kendall takes a seat in front of Logan, to Katie's left, and wraps an arm around her shoulders. He kisses the top of her head, his worry for the smaller girl intensifying when she doesn't respond, and instead turns around and hugs him tightly, burying her face against the boy's long-sleeved grey shirt.

Kendall turns to James, who only gives him a small sad smile.

"I'm scared, K-Kendall."

For once in what seems like forever, Kendall's throat closes up, and he has no idea what to say to make Katie feel better. No motivational speech, no words of comfort can protect her – or any of them – from the feeling of fear and worry that seems to have taken over their minds.

So instead of saying anything, he tightens his hold around her, despite wanting more than anything to say something that'll make her feel better.

"It's gonna be okay," he finally says, even though he knows that it will probably be a while until things are okay.

"Promise?"

Kendall lets out a shaky breath, tears prickling at his eyes, but through his foggy mind, he manages to whisper, "I promise, Katie."

He just hopes it's a promise he can keep.


Anorexia, possibly bulimia. Self-harm. Attempted suicide. James shouldn't be too surprised as the words slip from Mrs. Knight's lips, but it takes everything in him not to burst into tears right then and there.

James feels nauseous, disoriented, detached from reality, and he can't cope. "I gotta go," he says quietly and gets up from his seat, making his way out of the waiting room. He hears Logan and Kendall call his name, but he pays no attention to them. He can barely make out what they're saying through the thoughts that seem to be be taking full control of his mind. He just wants Carlos back. He can't live without one of his best friends. He can't live without Carlos.

"James!"

A hand is placed on his shoulder, and he turns around, only to be met by a pair of green eyes. "It's gonna be okay, James."

"Shut up."

"But James—"

"I said, shut up! As far as any of us know, Carlos could die! Carlos could die, and you know whose fault it's gonna be? It's gonna be our fault, because we didn't pay attention – we didn't see the signs. If Carlos dies... if Carlos dies, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live without him, Kendall, I can't..."

"I can't either," Kendall whispers, "but we won't have to." He gently pushes James towards the wall and then down to sit on the floor, taking a seat beside him. "I know how you're feeling. I know that the thought of losing Carlos brings a terrifying feeling, and I think that right now, we're all scared and worried. Nothing like this has ever happened before... nothing this serious. And I'd be lying if I said that I haven't thought the same thing, because I have. But... but he'll be okay, James. And I know, trust me, I know it's not what you want to hear right now. And I know that no matter how many times I say it, you probably won't believe me. It's okay if you want to cry, it's okay if you want to fall apart. But please... please just know that I'm here for you, and Logan's here for you, and we're all here for you, and it's gonna be alright."

"I know... It's just... It hurts s-so much. I-I want this to stop. I want him to be okay. I hate that I wasn't able to stop this from happening. Carlos shouldn't be sad, much less to the point in which he thinks that taking his own life and hurting himself is his only escape. C-Carlos always tries to make us happy – we should've been able to do the same for him. I wish he would've come to us..."

"Sometimes when people feel that way, it's not easy to admit it to anyone," Logan says as he reaches the two boys. He takes a seat in the other side of James and gives him a sad smile. "Sometimes it's hard for them to even admit that something's wrong, and they don't want to burden anyone with their problems."

"But... he wouldn't be burdening us. We're his best friends."

"I know... but sometimes your mind tricks you into thinking you are a burden when you're not, and I think that's why Carlos didn't come to us for help."

"I hate this so much," James mumbles, tears streaming down his cheeks, which he is quick to wipe away.

Kendall wraps an arm around his shoulders, resting his head on top of the brunet's. "I wish we could see him..."

"We will get to," Logan says softly, his eyes tearing up at the sight of Kendall and James huddled together. Despite being the youngest pair of the group of four, the two boys have always seemed invincible. Logan can't help but notice how right now, the two boys seem vulnerable and in need of comfort, and it breaks his heart. "Once the doctors think it's okay to see him, we will get to see him."

"How do you do it?" James suddenly asks.

Logan knits his eyebrows together in confusion, not sure of what James means by the question. "How do I do what?"

"Remain so... calm."

Logan's lips turn downwards into a frown, and the color drains from his face as he looks away. "I'm not," he whispers so softly that James and Kendall barely hear him.

"Logan..."

Logan ignores Kendall's voice, knowing that if he looks back at either of the two boys, he will most likely break down.

"Logie..."

"What?" He feels a hand wrap around his arm, and he has no choice but to turn around. James is looking at him with concern, and Kendall looks both worried and hurt, but he doesn't let go of Logan's arm.

"Come here," the dirty blond says softly, tugging on the boy's arm to pull him towards them. Logan looks hesitant, but he gives in after a few seconds and allows Kendall to pull him into a three-way hug along with James. It's all it takes for his walls to come crumbling down, dropping the façade that he's been wearing all along.

"We can't give up, guys," Kendall says softly. "I know we're all scared, and none of us have any idea of what's going to happen. Carlos isn't here right now, but I know that he'd want us to be here for each other. I love you guys so much..."

"I-I love you, too." Logan says brokenly, tears falling down his cheeks rapidly.

James tightens his hold around them both, not being able to speak through the continuous sobs shaking his body. "I lo-ove you guys, too," he mutters once his sobs subside and he is able to catch his breath. "So much..."


So, yeah... Not that good of an ending, and this was kind of a filler chapter too, but... I hope it was okay.

Thank you for reading.

~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)