Red's heart pounded against his ribcage as his panting gradually slowed and he began to catch his breath. His limbs felt weak from his exertions and the adrenaline leaving his system. It was the trembling, though, that took the longest to fade.

He rolled onto his back, his spent cock slipping from Lizzy with an odd sense of loss. Lizzy had already carefully slid the toy from his body as soon as she managed to remember that she should; he was grateful for the consideration—he could hardly handle any extra stimulation after what they'd done.

They laid side by side now, flat on their backs, staring unseeing at the ceiling as they each waited for the other person to come back down to earth. A long time passed before Red could trust his legs to hold his weight, but once he felt like he had recovered enough to risk it, he climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. His hands still shook as he cleaned himself up. God, he hadn't been so thoroughly fucked since…

Goodness.

Had it been since before he turned himself in?

It probably was.

He ran his hands over his face, and shook his head to clear the cobwebs.

Had he subconsciously been saving himself for Lizzy this whole time? Denying himself the heights and depths of pleasure he knew his body was capable of experiencing while he dedicated his life to her, in whichever way she wanted it?

Red suspected there was more truth to that concept than he wanted to admit. He had racked up quite an impressive number of unusual habits and idiosyncrasies over the years. It wouldn't surprise him at all if that particular type of sacrifice had somehow managed to add itself to the pack.

With one last lingering look in the bathroom mirror, he returned to the bedroom, a hot washcloth in hand for Lizzy so she could clean herself without having to get up if she didn't want to.

"Thank you," she said, taking the cloth.

Red laid down on the other side of the bed. "Just toss it in the corner when you're done," he said as he leaned back into the pillows, allowing his eyes to close for a few short moments. "I'll get to it later."

Red didn't doze off, exactly, but he was nearly as unfocused as he would've been if he had. He registered very little of what Lizzy was doing in the room; if she had truly wanted to do him in, now would've been the perfect time to do it. He wasn't entirely sure he would mind if she did—for the first time in quite a long while, he would be able to say he died happy.

Eventually, the bed dipped under Lizzy's weight. She had obviously rifled around in his dresser while Red was out of it, because she climbed back into bed wearing a pair of his boxers and a white cotton t-shirt with the sleeves cuffed to make it fit a little better.

He said a silent thanks to anyone who might be listening that she hadn't started putting on her own clothing. Perhaps this wouldn't be a bizarre one night stand, a moment out of time with a regrettably bitter enemy before they went back to the battle between them.

But if Lizzy wasn't going to disappear into the night just as quickly as she appeared, what was going to happen next? Surely, there was no longer a normal to go back to anymore. They had both burned so many bridges.

"I can hear you thinking from here, you know."

Red glanced up to find Lizzy watching him intently—enough to make him feel oddly exposed, given what had just happened. "I apologize. I should've known better than to tempt fate by trying to figure out where we go from here."

"What are you talking about?"

"Elizabeth. We can't pretend this changes nothing between us. At the very least, it changes me. I'm not the man I was when you left. I'm not even the man I was when you pulled your gun on me downstairs."

Lizzy let out a heavy sigh. "Damn it. I knew this would happen."

Red wrenched his neck around to meet her gaze. "Did you?"

"Not this," she said, giving him a little swat. The thought stuck for a moment in her mind and she laughed to herself. "No. When I took off, I knew that I had to stay away from you, because if I didn't, if I came after you myself, I knew I would never be able to do what I felt I had to do. That's why when I tried to kill you before, I tried to do it fast, or by proxy, before I could second guess myself. Because it doesn't matter how angry I am, being with you, face to face… I just can't ignore it…"

"You can't ignore what?"

"How much I love you," she said. "You were right. I do still love you. I'm… I am in love with you. I hate it, but I am."

Red's emotions felt too raw after everything they'd done; he found he couldn't process the truth of Lizzy's admission in the haze of afterglow. Not after the last few months of torment and turmoil. "Thanks a lot, Mr. Darcy. Is this the part where you propose?" he snapped, turning away.

"Hey." She laid her hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to face her again. "This isn't a new thing for me. You know? Being in love with someone that I also hate sometimes. Do you know how many times I wanted to kill Tom?"

"Oh, yes, that sounds incredibly reassuring. Forgive me for doubting you," he said, sarcastic and cutting.

"As crazy as it seems, it should be reassuring."

He wiped furiously at the traitorous tears that had spilled down his cheeks. It didn't even feel like he was crying properly; the tears simply ran unchecked. He'd find it embarrassing if his psyche had the space for even one more emotion at that moment. "Well, you're going to have to do better than that. I'm not arguing with you for the privilege of dying by your hand."

"Good. Because I'm not offering." She slid her hand down to wrap around his wrist. "This is what I want in exchange for your life."

"This?"

"Yeah. Me and you. Together, like this."

"You want me, permanently," he said, not a question.

"I do. I don't want to just give you up. Not now that I've gotten a good taste of you."

"I'm dying, Elizabeth. Letting me live is still letting me die. I can't give you what you want. The family you want."

"You can. For a while, at least," she said. "That's better than what we've been doing."

"And you'd be satisfied with this arrangement? Even if I make no promises to be completely forthcoming with you about everything in our past?"

"I don't know if I would call it satisfied. Mollified, maybe."

Red snorted. "Now we're really splitting hairs."

"I think it helps, doing this. Really. I don't… I don't feel so out of control right now. Knowing that you trust me enough to let me in, to let me… take you like that, I don't know. For the first time in a long time, it feels like we can coexist again. That maybe we're equals," she said—and maybe it was wishful thinking on Red's part, or maybe it was just a breakthrough, but the frenzied, dead-eyed bloodlust was gone when he searched her face. There wasn't a trace of it left. All he saw was the woman he knew, the woman he loved, the woman who owned his heart just as effectively as she would if she cut it from his chest.

"So what do you say? I think it's a pretty fair trade. I shelve my quest for answers for now. When your list is finished, you tell me all of it. Until then, you give up some of your control in another way. I don't think that's something you dislike doing."

"You're not wrong about that," he conceded. "In fact, I would put myself at a real disadvantage if I were to admit just how long I've wanted the opportunity to allow you to do what you did tonight."

"You're still not sure, though."

Red shrugged. "A lot has happened, Elizabeth. It may seem like I'm a risk-taker, but there are still some situations in which I find it very difficult to take risks."

"If my word isn't enough, and I understand why it wouldn't be, believe me… I'll go back with you."

Red couldn't quite believe his ears. "What?" he said.

"I'll go back to the task force with you. You can bring me in."

Red studied her in stunned silence for a long while before he could form a coherent thought, let alone a coherent sentence. "You're not afraid of what they have in store for you when you turn yourself in?"

"No. Not with you there," she said. "You'll keep them in line."

"I can't promise you that. Not forever," he said. "They may look the other way for a while because they care about you, but there's things you did… Well, they won't be able to look the other way forever. It'll be out of their hands. And certainly out of mine."

"We can still meet with them. Clear the air. Let them know we've called a truce." Out of the corner of Red's eye, he noticed Lizzy worrying the scar at her wrist. "Maybe they'll let us put this behind us. Maybe I can have an immunity agreement of my own if I vow to help finish this damn thing with you. If they don't seem receptive to that, well… I guess I'll leave with you, too."

"When you say you'll leave with me, you mean…"

"Whatever it needs to mean. If we have to make a break from them and go on the run, go it alone, then…" She shrugged. "So be it. But I guess that means we kinda hold the upper hand then, doesn't it? If they want to keep doing what we've been doing, it would be in their best interests to take me back."

Red reached out and closed his hand over hers, halting her movements before she could rub herself raw. "All right. I'll take you in."