Naruto has been hiding things from her for the past few months, which inturned has progressively made her more and more angry and worried about him. Anger was nothing new, that is a receptivity she has come to accept, willingly or not but it took her a while to process the other more foreign feeling. Not since the days when her thoughts filled with worry over disappointing her father for not being a perfect shinobi like her brother or whether that perfect brother would return home safely from one of his many missions. Had she felt this emotion coursing through her.
She was struggling with how to get the blond to tell her what the hell was going on. Trying not to seem overbearing, she brought up the nightmares. He assured her he hadn't had any since the last time they had spent all night researching ways to deal with them. She was inclined to believe him, the bags under his eyes long since faded, proving he was getting at least an adequate amount of sleep. Nightmares crossed off the list- she turned to the villagers. Carefully watching for any different reactions as they walked through the village, nothing seemed any different. Naruto did seem to observe them more than he was prone to do, though she attributed that to her influence. Their friendship, which she had finally come to accept calling it that, had been built from the seeds of loneliness. Neither one was good at sharing, yet she had come to rely on his company, and she didn't much care to lose it now. So she was done walking on eggshells around the issue, she'd make him tell her what he's been hiding today.
Lying to Sasuke was getting harder and harder. He knew she was losing her patience with him. He was constantly brushing off her concerns and acting like everything was fine when things were far from it. The last nightmare had changed everything. When he woke, he immediately wrote down everything he remembered. This was the first time the dream had been different. Nine-tailed Fox, a dying woman asking for him by name, and Madara Uchiha? His mind was running a mile a minute.
Frantically pacing back and forth in his tiny room, he checked the clock on his nightstand, there were still a few hours before morning. He had no one to go to ease his worries. The library was his best option but they were closed, so he sat down in his kitchen with the notes he had written down, going over every detail. By the time the library was to open, he had the dream ingrained in his mind. As quick as his short legs could take him, he ran to the place he hoped would bring him some clarity.
Trying to find more information on the fox first, since it was the most accessible part of the nightmare. You weren't from Konoha if you didn't know how the Nine-Tailed Fox had attacked the village 11 years ago on October 10th, killing thousands before the Yondaime Hokage could bring down the monster. He had already known all of this, except you tend to look at things more closely when you just had a nightmare where you seemed to have a silhouette of that same fox in your shadow. Months of dreams with destroyed villages, dead bodies, claws, and red slit eyes.
Things you never thought to scrutinize before have you pausing, like the fact that you were born 11 years ago on that same night of October 10th. Missing pieces of a puzzle, things started to fall in place. The cold, hateful stares that followed him everywhere he went and had been there as far back as his memories went, whispers of demon brat now brought new context. He never knew what he had done to earn their scorn, but now with this fresh perspective, things were making too much sense to ignore.
Wanting to get up and run as far away from this place as he could but his body wouldn't move. Fear and dread were coiled around him not allowing him even a moment's peace. He didn't know how long he sat there before numbly making his way back to his apartment. Trying desperately to come up with reasons all the evidence could be wrong, but he was far too riddled with trepidation to think logically. Knowing why they seemed to hate you didn't make the stares any more tolerable as he passed them. Rubbing his eyes, he stuck to the alleys the rest of the way home. He didn't leave his house for the next few days. Sasuke came to check up on him, panicking at what she'd say. He made up a lie to be left alone, telling her he was sick. Having some time to process everything, able to calm himself from believing he was the Kyubii incarnate as he had come to believe that night/morning. He was connected to the demon somehow though, that much was certain. At a loss of where to get concrete answers, his anxiety was crippling. Fortunately, his self-proclaimed grandfather walked through his window not too long after.
Jiraiya was surprisingly straightforward with him. He explained that the Kyubii had been sealed into him by the Yondaime Hokage on the night of his birth and that he was only the vessel that kept the demon from breaking out. Jinchuriki, a human sacrifice, a weapon to be used in times of war, is how other villages saw people like him, no doubt trying to make it seem like Konoha was any different. When he asked why the Hokage never told him any of this, he just gave some bullshit answer about wanting him to have a normal childhood. That was honestly hard to believe by no means could the man in charge of the entire village be that naive. No way his version of normalcy was to allow him to be shunned and hated by everyone he came across, left in the dark to wonder what was wrong with him his whole life. Convinced he had ulterior motives for sure, he'd make sure to be more careful around him.
He tried getting more answers but the pervert seemed done with sharing for the day, so he decided to keep the rest of what he saw in the nightmare to himself for now. Jiraiya then checked the seal located on his lower abdomen, learning it appeared only when he channeled chakra. 'Eight Trigrams' is what he said it was, and even he could recognize it was no doubt the pinnacle of Fuinjutsu at work. Claiming everything checked out fine, he could only take him at his word, the pervert bid him a quick farewell informing him his next visit won't be for some time. Exiting through the window he came in, leaving him alone once again.
Over the months, he's had a myriad of emotions. Coming to terms with having a demon inside you and what that meant for your life was not easy by any means. Freedom, a word he never thought much of before but now couldn't help obsessing over. What did it mean to be free? To be alive and breathing? Perhaps. If you had asked him before any of this happened, he would've ignorantly thought he had as much as the next person. Now he knew better to be free was something he never had a chance at.
The Yondime Hokage had taken that away the moment he sealed the Kyuubi inside him. An invisible leash had been roped around his neck since birth, chaining him inside a prison they dare to call his home. To eventually become whatever the village and the people in power decided him to be. Being forced to walk amid a sea of hatred and told to beg for their forgiveness for something he never had a choice in. He wanted to scream, hate them back, but they were always watching. The Hokage, the ones who wore the masks, and whoever else we're ready to yank on that chain if he ever dares to stray too far from the path they had decided for him.
Freedom what did it mean? He wasn't sure anymore but he knew he'd never have a chance at it here. Any future he saw for himself had to be beyond these walls that surrounded him. Too bad the walls seemed to keep getting higher and higher as the days passed.
He wanted to explain all this to Sasuke, but he was scared. Scared that she'd hate him for what he held inside of him, curse him for his feelings towards their home, leaving him alone again. So he lied, preferring to live in blissful ignorance. The lies became a life raft he could cling onto in the drowning waters of what had become of his life.
Pulling him out of his thoughts, he felt her grab his arm and pull them into an empty alley.
"Enough, tell me what the hell is going on."
She was staring with her eyebrow raised. She could feel how nervous he was, eyes darting around, so she moved to block the only pathway onto the street, hoping to dissuade any chance of him turning and running. Not like it mattered she could catch him if he did.
"No more lies, we're not leaving until you tell me what has been bothering you."
He wouldn't look at her, his head hanging down.
"Stop being a baby Naruto, look at me." She was at her wit's end months of frustration were boiling over. The realization that he might not trust her was starting to feel all too real, and that hurt more than she'd like to admit.
"Have I done something to make you feel like you can't trust me with whatever is bothering you?"
He hated himself for making her feel that way. If only she knew she was the only thing in this stupid village he even remotely cared about. He threw his hoodie over his head, finally ready to pop the lie that had been his raft.
"You know how the nine-tailed fox attacked the village, and the Yondaime Hokage killed it?" He waited till she nodded to continue. "Well, that's a lie. He used Fuinjutsu to seal it inside a person, specifically a baby." Pulling the strings of his hoodie as tight as he could, trying to hide the shame he was feeling. "I was born 11 years ago on October 10th I'm the baby he used to seal it into." Silence could be nothing and everything, and right now, it was all-consuming. He didn't know how long it lasted before he saw her shadow move from the small view of his vision that didn't happen to be obstructed by his hoodie.
"That's why everybody in the village looks at you like that?" He nodded, of all the things Sasuke had imagined in her head, this wasn't even on the spectrum. She had so many questions she wanted to ask but now wasn't the time. She needed to say something before he took it the wrong way. How do you be comforting, trying to remember what her family did for her. The only thing that was coming to mind was something that she now loathed. She loosened the mushed hoodie from around him until she could make out his face. Gently pulling on the string of his hoodie, his sapphire eyes met her black ones. If she were someone else she might've tried giving an assuring smile except she much didn't like her smile, she could smirk though he always said her smirks looked cocky. So she decided she would just let him look at her until he understood that everything was fine and nothing had changed. She kept eye contact until he finally gave her a small smile. Satisfied, she stepped back and out of the alleyway.
"I don't feel like going to class today." Saying over her shoulder to him before taking off, he slowly followed after her, their destination already in mind.
They were sitting on the dock of the pier, the morning sun causing the blue of the water to glisten like diamonds dancing across the lake.
"How'd you find out?" Sasuke asked from her seated position, feet hanging over the dock. Naruto was leaning on his arms.
"It's a long story, let's just say the lucid dreaming stuff worked, causing the last nightmare to reveal a whole lot more than I led you to believe. Then Jiraiya confirmed everything." Feeling weird to say all this out loud, he shifted to sit up. "Why you?"
"I don't know maybe I was just the closest thing around." She snorted at that before turning to sit crosslegged. "So what else happened in the nightmare that you didn't tell me about?"
"Hmmm, well in the hundred of bodies that lay strewn about was a red-haired woman calling my name with a giant hole in her chest. Then the person that I could never get a clear picture of finally showed her face, claiming to be Madara Uchiha. She kinda looked like you except older now that I think about it." Sasuke's eyes widened at that.
"Madara Uchiha has been dead for years why would she appear in your dreams?" Naruto just shrugged. "I don't know, but I'll be honest. In the chaos of finding out, I'm carrying around a demon inside of me. I didn't try very hard to find out more about Madara. My focus has been on other things." She shook her head but understood.
"What did Jirayia say when you told him?
"I never told him anything beyond the Kyubii stuff I trust him but not that much." He still reports to the village at the end of the day. He found that out quickly after the Hokage called him into his office the day after he had talked with Jiryia. "You're the first person I've told everything to, so keep it between us, ya?
"What about the woman in the nightmare/dream, any idea who she was?" He shook his head no that was the one part of the dream he knew even less about than Madara. Other than her red hair, he had no idea how to even go about finding out more.
His hands ran across the water, things going far better than he could've ever imagined. Feeling dumb forever even doubting Sasuke, she was nothing like everyone else. Deciding he'd tell her everything. "What does freedom mean to you?" He could see her surprise at what no doubt seemed like a very random question.
Sasuke indeed was thrown by the question, unsure of where he was going with it. Truth be told she'd never even thought of the word. Freedom? We all have it right? Every day we wake up alive we are free right? Before choosing how we go about our daily lives. Is that freedom, she wasn't sure. "I'm not sure, I've never thought of it before. If I had tothrow something out I'd say it's the opportunity to choose." He smiled at her. "That's a good answer."
"I'm stuck here in this place, a tool to be used by the village." The bitter tone in his voice caught Sasuke by surprise, now listening intently. "It's why they seal these demons inside of humans, to have insurance in case of war. Each major village has one supposedly, called Jinchuriki, a human sacrifice. I'm to do and be whatever the village deems for me." He smacked the water with an open palm. "That's been the worst realization that I have no future to call my own. That opportunity to choose, if that's freedom then I'll never know it, not here anyway... It's pretty shitty, ya know?."
She did know, at least some of it. Any semblance of a life she would've chosen for herself had been robbed by Itachi the moment he did what he did. She had been chasing his living ghost ever since, existing every day to restore some sense of honor to herself and by proxy, her clan. As much as she has tried not to let that fury and loathing dictate her every move, killing him was still her sole purpose. That didn't sound like much of a life but maybe here at this moment, she can finally decide to alter it. Choose another purpose that can lead her to that better future, one where it isn't just clouded by revenge and hate. Opening her mouth, the words spilled out.
"My brother was the one who killed my entire clan. I walked into our home after he had just slain our mother and father. My brain couldn't process what I was seeing. My brother was my world, everything I had striven to be. The only words he spoke to me that night were 'Hate me' before he put me under a Genjutsu that made me watch him commit the act over and over again till I eventually succumbed to delirium. I've lived every day since then for revenge. I need to kill him, I have to kill him, but I've slowly come to realize that I don't think I can do it alone without losing myself in the process. So help me, we'll get stronger together, and when we do, we'll leave. It's not like I can find my brother staying here. No, he's somewhere out there far beyond Konoha. So come with me and help rid me of my burden and find that freedom you just said you could never find here."
Looking straight at Naruto, she could see the gears turning in his head, so much for them not being able to share things. Embarrassment, fear, excitement, she can't believe she said all that, yet she meant every word. She had been tiptoeing the ledge for a while, but she finally took the leap that will hopefully lead to regaining a piece of her happiness. He changed positions to sit Indian-style like her before sticking his pinky out. Of course, this would be his response. She stuck her pinky out, letting his wrap around hers.
"You know, saying I was your best friend would have saved you from that whole speech. I'm pretty sure that's the most I ever heard you talk without a "Hn" in there." She flicked his nose before telling him to shut up. He just laughed, teasing her slightly red cheeks. He knew he wouldn't have many chances to see a flustered Sasuke Uchiha. His laughter finally dying down, he poked her knee.
"You're my best friend too." She gave him a deadpan stare. "What? I just wanted to make sure you knew… and I'm sorry you went through all that." Having felt enough emotions, she quickly looked to change the subject.
"We gotta become unquestionably strong if we are to do this, no more slacking off, especially you. You have to be great at everything, not just Fuinjutsu." He groaned, sticking his tongue out at her. "Yeah, yeah I promise to let you kick my ass every day from now on but don't diss the sealing. You can do some amazing stuff with it. I promise it will be the basis for everything I become." As much as he hated the Yondaime for sticking this demon inside of him, the fact that he beat an un-killable monster with just Fuinjutsu is pretty amazing. It just reinforced his love for it.
They had a little over a year and some months before graduation. They needed to be much stronger by then, much much stronger. Nevertheless, for the first time in months, those walls didn't seem so high anymore. Freedom? He'd have it one day and he'd make sure she was with him when he did.
TBC...
