Welcome back y'all,
Now that both teams have been established lets pick up on the Lincoln plot but first bad guys!
Earth-1898
Rome
*WACK!*
In a place that can only be accessed by a select few a rather handsome man was thrown violently across the room crashing on the wall and landing on the floor. He screamed in pain as the clip clop of high heals got closer and closer.
"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy," an American woman in a business suit bet down to the man's face, "did you really think we didn't know." Ms. Utterson kicked James "Jimmy" Bond in his stomach, earning her another scream of pain from the traitor. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that!" She picked up his head and smashed it into the floor, Jimmy howled in pain at his broken nose and front teeth. "You really are just dollar store version of your cousin are you?" She stood up and unbeknownst to her Jimmy had an insane look in his eyes, now she really pissed him off.
"If it were up to me I'd tear open your stomach, rip out your innards, and eat them while I make sure your awake." Jimmy got on all fours while she was talking. "But sadly, you know how Number One likes to punish traitors," she let out a sigh in resignation. "Any last words before I take you to him? Please don't call me a f****** bitch, I get enough of that from my son."
"Yo- You," Jimmy got on his knees and clenched his palms, "WHORE!" The moment Jimmy clenched his palms both of his hands became covered in purple gauntlets. He punched Utterson in the gut causing her to fly into the opposite wall and hit it with a loud CRACK! Utterson's spin broke in half, thus she laid there dying from her injuries (again).
Jimmy walked over to her as Utterson faded away and was replaced with the tired old form of Sofia Jackson. He looked down at her, if she was younger and more shapely he could have fun times with her. Still all disgusting freaks need to rot. Fortunately for her the foot steps of various guards were rapidly on their way, forcing Jimmy to make a hasty retreat.
Sofia opened her eyes to see Jimmy's retreating form. In spite of everything about her current situation she cracked a small smile to herself.
Outside Jimmy busted through the doors, pushing a large casket on a table with wheels. He ran over to a parked black van (the same type Klein & Utterson once used). He quickly opened the back doors and rolled the casket inside. At that moment bullets from a sniper on the rooftops were shooting at him, encouraging Jimmy to get in the driver's seat and make a quick getaway.
On the rooftops the sniper continued to shoot at the speeding vehicle before leaving his sight. The sniper put down his rifle and stoop up. He had mismatched eyes and his left wrist possessed stitching scars. He took out his phone and dialed a number. "Master," he began to talk, "that idiot actually fell for it."
"Hook, line, and sinker," a dark voice chuckled, "good work Sebastian." A man with dark hair, dark clothes, sharp teeth, claw like nails, and sitting in the back seat of a small normal looking car parked in an alleyway, hanged upped his mobile. "You really are a treacherous little sh** aren't you Jimmy?" Count Dracula gave out howls of laughter as Jimmy drove past him. Dracula's driver started to discreetly fallow Jimmy's van. "Remember don't get to close, we don't want to test his stupidity." Dracula leaned back in his seat as Mr. Hinx nodded in silent understanding. The vampire licked his teeth in anticipation. 'Let's see where your alien friends are hiding.'
The London roads
Zoe sat in the back seat of a car looking at a laptop in her lap, M was sitting next to her, James Bond was in the front passenger set, "Athena" was driving, (as usual the two sent flirtatious looks at each other) and the rest of the League were following in her car. On the computer was two pictures: one an old photograph of the historical Abraham Lincoln, taken in 1863, and another, more recent photo showing a man claiming to be Lincoln, laying in a hospital bed and wearing a gown. She looked back and fourth at the two pictures, in spite of everything she couldn't deny the great resemblance. His hair and beard might have been a bit different but other than that the two almost looked like twins or clones.
"Well," M started, "what is your opinion Doctor?" Zoe looked at M with a slight hint of frustration. "I've seen and done things you wouldn't believe long before I've meat any of you and I'm sorry there has to be another explanation."
"He's not one of the undead," M reassured her, "we checked, your instructions have proven to be valuable."
"Descendant then, you've seen Tom." M shook his head no. "Even if Lincoln has any surviving direct descendants today, you have to remember Edward Hyde was a very unique individual with an equally unique set of genes. The chances of someone else like Abraham Lincoln having the same conditions are practically nonexistent."
"Clone?" James joined in. Again M rejected that answer. "There's nothing in his DNA to indicate he's been artificially aged up like clones usually are, in fact there's no corruptions in his genetic structure at all to indicate he's a clone."
"What about Jackman's wife, from what I've read Klein and Utterson were more advanced in human cloning than anyone else." M confirmed 007's statement. "You're not wrong 007, but there is one thing that muddies the waters considerably."
"What's that?" Asked Zoe. "Thanks to some historical letters we have a pretty accurate recreation of the 16th Presidents' thumbprints, the're a 100% match to our stranger's." Zoe looked away, and James refocused on the road ahead, that did muddy things a lot as no one had the same two fingerprints, not even clones.
"Is there anything besides the obvious to indicate he's not some resurrected President?" A flabbergasted Zoe asked.
"Yes actually," M elaborated, "Not only does he know information past his death date, he seems to be quite familiar with modern technology."
"What do you mean?" James asked.
"He knows what cars and motorcycles are and his only reaction to wireless communication is amazement at the sound and video quality, apparently motorized vehicles were already in mass production in the 19th century and wireless communication, that includes the use of television screens, were a new invention. Really most of his shock and confusion came from the fact that most of our machines are powered by electricity and fossil fuels, not steam. Also he's certainly more accepting than the real Lincoln probably would have ever been, he sees hybrids as normal and his only reaction to the LGBTQ community is less moral outrage then more mild confusion."
Zoe and James sat there in contemplation, on one hand genetically speaking it sounds like this really was the Abraham Lincoln of the history books on the other he brought with him several anachronisms putting his identity in doubt.
"Is there anything else?" Zoe asked.
"That will have to wait, we're here." M looked out the window while the car parked. There was an apartment complex that MI6 used to house a few of their agents, which the organization reserved a room to house Lincoln in. Many people and hybrids were walking around going about their business. Near the front entrance a large, orange spherical robot with a glass dome top half was sitting criss cross applesauce. He was playing with action figures of legendary 1930s vigilantes the Shadow and the Green Hornet while ignoring the glances and stares passerby's were giving him.
"Hmm," M observed the robot while the rest of the League either parked Zoe's car or got out of his own. 'It seems our friend has some visitors.'
Lincoln's apartment
Lincoln, now dressed in a modern day grey three piece, was finishing up his fancy T bone steak dinner, after a year of nothing but tasteless grey glop it was really really satiating to finally eat real food. Next to him an overweight, elderly fat man with a thin pencil beard, holding a whine bottle and in a nice tux, was standing by.
"Would you like another glass sir?" asked the butler. "No, that'll be fine Campion. If you need something to do, why don't you wash my dishes for me." Lincoln left the table to join is new friends in the living area as Campion picked up his dishes. As soon as Lincoln left Campion scowled to himself. This isn't what he imagined where his carrier in MI6 would go. Once he was one of the highest ranking members of the organization, second to M himself, and now here he is being forced to play butler to a pathetic yank, a retarded yank, and a couple of abominations of nature.
It wasn't always this way but then for whatever reason they let that tart, Olivia Mansfield, take over as M and unlike her predecessors she didn't look the other way from his less than legal actions and didn't appreciated his attitude. She took every opportunity to demote him until eventually he was nothing more than a conman servant. When she died and the role of M was reassigned to someone of the proper sex he'd hope that the new M would restore him to his rightful place but nope! Mycroft Holmes seemed to be content with Campion bringing him his morning coffee, so disappointing.
Lincoln entered the living room to find two of his new friends relaxing. Hank was on his phone watching an old sitcom (Seinfeld he thinks) and Petey was sitting on an oversize arm chair reading a old book called "My Audience with Lecter. By Will Graham" . Li'l Petey was here, near his father doodling pictures with crayons.
The former president joined his fellow american on the sofa. Hank was obviously enjoying his show, smiling and laughing at the antics of George and Kramer. "Having fun?" Lincoln tapped Hank's shoulder. "Hmm?" Hank got off his phone and pulled out his earbuds. "Hey Abe, enjoy your dinner?"
"I certainly did." Lincoln said with enthusiasm. "What about your show? Funny?"
"One of the best ever!"
"I'll take your word for it." Honestly Lincoln found that he didn't really need television as 'The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde' , the Dracula files, John Watson's blog, and stories of 007's exploits provided all the entertainment he needed in this strange world. Plus he'd rather turn away from the News channels, the political situation in this universe's America did the impossible and made him feel shame for wearing the eagle.
"How's the progress on fixing the Irken communicator?" Lincoln asked, the nearby kitten spoke up. "Good! I mean we're getting a better understanding of it, uhhh ..."
"We can't fix it." Petey abruptly slammed his book shut and bluntly revealed the truth.
"Papa!"
"Yeah, he's completely right." Hank concurred, looking at Lincoln in seriousness. "When I try to work on the thing I feel like I'm preforming a dissection on an animal."
"Me and my son built many things you've wouldn't believe." Petey explained while Li'l Petey climbed on his lap. "HD-80, he's a stone rock compared to some of our other work, we even have some success with getting some of the functions of a tripod to work."
"But that purple ball," Li'l Petey took over from his father, "it makes no sense. Me and Papa looked at it for hours and we, um, what's that thing people say about your head and tali?"
Lincoln thought to himself. "What does Q say?" Hank answered. "He's just as stumped as the rest of us, he says he doesn't recognize about 90% of the metal used. Q branch tried everything: electricity, solar, nuclear, we even gave steam a go and we're no closer to fixing it."
"Sorry Mr. President." Li'l Petey looked down, dejectedly.
"It's ok son, I understand." Lincoln sat back into the sofa. He was disappointed but ultimately not surprised that Q branch and the Finders couldn't fix the communicator. Even thou he didn't relatively see much of the Massive when he was held prisoner he could tell that they had such advancements that made Oz look like another medieval kingdom, even if most of it was dirty, breaking or broken and painted in dark depressing colors. Still it does mean he can't contact his Irken on the inside and has a lesser chance of getting home. Even if he was home he doubted dark science could fix it.
"Hey Petey," Hank remembered where cat hybrids went yesterday, "How was the River?"
"Oh, yeah! Was it everything your fellow hybrids said it was?" Lincoln was just as curious as Hank.
"It was amazing!" Li'l Petey practically shouted. "Ehhh, it was ok," Petey slightly disagreed, "it was interesting to be around other hybrids that weren't cats."
"There was nice parks and gift shops and ice cream and fishing." Li'l Petey continued to list off the benefits, of the popular hybrid town.
"Don't forget the weasel ghettos and segregation and the little bit of pollution." Petey also tried lifting up the vial of advertisement for tourism.
"What about the people?"
"Everyone was really nice!"
"Some of them were, others ... not so much." Petey didn't want to elaborate further, even Li'l Petey looked a bit uncomfortable. "Did meet a nice Lion there."
"Yeah, think we'll see him again Papa?" Father and son looked at each other in tenderness. "Don't know kid, maybe." Petey took out his phone to check the time. "We have to go home now, get your stuff."
"Aww, do I have to Papa?" asked the kitten
"You have school tomorrow, besides Greg's going to get lonely and we don't want to make HD-80 board." Li'l Petey realized his father is right and went to get his stuff. Lincoln watched the exchange with interest. A sad smile grew on his face as he thought about two of his own sons, Willie and Eddie. "Hey Petey."
"What?"
"Hold on to that boy tight." Petey got off the chair and looked at the displaced human with an unreadable expression. "I don't need you to tell me that." The cat hybrid declared. Petey then left the room to wait for his son.
"Children can often bring out the best in people." Hank observed. Over the last few weeks he got to know Petey the cat better and found him to be an narcissistic, short tempered, rude, jackass. His son Li'l Petey (not a very creative name) is in many ways the complete opposite: kind patient humble, pretty much sweetness itself. Despite the difference in personality it was obvious that the two cared deeply for each other and Petey was often a bit nicer whenever Li'l Petey visited (not by much though).
"Yes they can Hank, yes they can." Lincoln's faltered slightly when he remembered something. He knew he shouldn't have but he had to get some idea of his family's whereabouts after being gone for a year. He checked the history books, it wasn't helpful, it seems that history diverted around that fateful night in Ford's Theater (for one thing his fake assassination was very much real in this universe) but there was one detail that greatly troubled him. 'Tad'.
"I should be leaving too, I promised Sally and H.C. I'd take them to the London Eye." Hank started to follow Petey to the door. "Wait," Lincoln stopped Hank, "don't you want to stay long enough to meet M's League?" Hank thought about it for a moment and shock his head no. "No offence Abe, but I'd like to keep what little perspectives I have of normal left."
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
Lincoln and Hank looked at each other, knowing that could only be one thing. "Sorry Hank." Letting a deep sight, Hank continued his journey to the exit think about the good old days before his time traveling adventure with knights.
Campion rushed to the door hearing a second sequence of knocks. He open the door, M was the first to enter. "Hello Campion." The head of MI6 greeted his favorite butler. "Sir," Campion always made sure he was on this M's good side in the hopes of getting a promotion. One by one the LXG members entered paying Campion no mind. Zoe, Tom, Sherlock, John, and finally James. 007 was a bit more reluctant to enter the home when he saw who was at the door but the inevitable couldn't be delayed forever. The two Bonds stared at each other intently, M and the League watched ready the withhold either Bond should the need arise. Hank and the cats entered, stopping when they saw how tense things were.
"James." Campion started. "Uncle." James greeted back. Once again things were quiet between them. "They told me you were shoot in Istanbul."
"Yes, this is my second life." James quipped backed to his uncle. "Well, that's just another example of why you shouldn't let a woman do a man's job, especially one with such savage ancestry. Its in her blood." The League sent disapproving stares to Campion, Hank let out a small gasp, Petey winched, and Li'l Petey was too young to understand. Although his face made no movement James tightened his fists, the usual feelings his uncle stirred in him started arriving. "Just be glad she learned her proper place, now if-"
"Campion!" M got the butler's attention, if Campion continued he would have insulted Mansfield. "You should go introduce us now." Campion nodded and hastenly left. "Geez," Hank exclaimed, "I knew he wasn't popular but I never knew why."
"You don't know the half of it." Zoe replied, M noticed the visitors. "Mr. Morgan, Mr. Dinkle, I didn't know Lincoln was having visitors."
"Well we were just leaving, come on kid." Petey got on all fours to let his son clime on him. Sherlock observed the Hybrids.
Tip of tail has been chopped off sense childhood = abusive upbringing
Manner of speech = egotistical individual
Interactions with progeny = impatient but loving
Son = clone
Conclusion = deduction on hybrids improving
Petey got up, giving Li'l Petey a piggie back ride. He was about to leave. "You coming Hank?"
"In a minute, go on without me." Petey shrugged and walked down the hall way carrying his son. "Papa," Li'l Petey started to ask, "who's Mr. Dinkle?"
"Your grandpa's last name."
"Excuse me," Hank got Sherlock and John's attentions, "are you Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson?" Sherlock sighed while John was nicer. "Yes we are." Hank quickly got out a small note pad and pen from his pocket. "If its not to much to ask,"
"Of course." John took the notepad and Sherlock looked grumpy. "So glad we keep quiet." Zoe said to Tom. "I try my best to get noticed" James remarked. "Who do I make it out to?" John asked. "H.C. my daughter is a huge fan."
"Those initials stand for something embarrassing." Sherlock proclaimed, John continued writing and Hank was surprised before remembering who he was talking to. "Don't let her know you know please."
The Baker street duo finished as Campion returned. "He's ready." Campion led M and the League to Lincoln. "Lock the door behind you Morgan." M called out as he left. The League entered the living room where the man of the hour was waiting. "May I introduce M and his League of Extraordinary Gentlemen." Campion introduced to Abraham Lincoln to the LXG. "Thank you Campion," said M, "now go make us some coffee that's a good man." Campion left and Lincoln walked over to greet each of the members of the League.
First was Zoe. "Dr. Zoe Van Helsing I presume?" Zoe nodded. "A woman leading and a doctor no less. How," Zoe held her breath, "unique." Zoe breath easily. 'Ok, I guess that's fine.' "I've read the original Dracula files and seen the videos," Lincoln continued, "as someone who knows how much trouble vampires can be, you are a very brave woman for keeping them at bay." Zoe looked in slight surprise at Lincoln. For a man claiming to be from the 19th century, M was right, so far he is more accepting than one would expect. "Thank you."
Next up was Tom. "Dr. Thomas Jackman," Lincoln shook his hand, "My sympathies for what Klein & Utterson put you and your family through." Tom smiled softly. "It's ok, they couldn't get to me while I was under government protection. Thankfully, now they're gone forever." Tom looked at his teammates in appreciation. "Is your "brother" there?" Lincoln asked. The lights in the apartment flickered on and off. "I'll take that as a yes." Lincoln left the room and returned carrying something. "I'd like to meet him in person." The League was taken aback. M asked in concern. "Are you sure Mr. Lincoln." "Should the need arise M," Lincoln lifted up the object he was carrying, revealed to be an axe, "I can defend myself." The flickering resumed at a more rapid pace. "For your sake I hope he likes you."
In a moment of darkness Jackman retreated in his mind and Hyde made his entrance. "Girls and boys come out to play." Hyde showed off his toothy grin and in one quick step was right up in Lincolns personal space. "Hello Mr. President!" Hyde shouted in a mock american accent. "I knew an American once, he was a real annoying bastard." With the but of the axe, Lincoln pushed Hyde back. "I've read how slit Mr. Benjamin's throat." Hyde laughed. "Good memories." Lincoln moved on from Hyde. "Now that I see you in person the book and the files really don't do you justice." This made Hyde whisperer under his breath "Flatterer."
"You've made quite a name for yourselves Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson." Lincoln said. "Fame gets in the way of my work." Sherlock made his opinion known. "Well I cant say I blame the people, I particularly liked the one with the Hound of the Baskervilles and the Crooked Mane." Lincoln admitted his admirence. "You're not the only person in a high place who likes my blog." Once again John had to be the nice guy. "What can the great detective tell about me." Sherlock accepted Lincoln's challenge.
Accent = real, Indiana
Demeanor = used to being in charge, knows how to handle an axe in combat
Interactions with Hyde = experience
delusional = unknown
Conclusion = ?
Sherlock looked at his brother. "When did you find this one Mycroft?" M sighed in expected disappointment. Lincoln turned to M. "Mycroft? Is that your real name? Is that what M stands for?"
"Call me by my name and I'll have you committed." It was impossible to tell if M was joking or not. "What did you think M stood for?" inquired 007. Without hesitation Lincoln answered: "Mother."
"Mother?" Hyde laughed and James thought, 'Mother, I'll have to remember that one.'
"Don't call me Mother!" M almost desperately pleaded. "I get enough of that from Mallory." M then excused himself, his phone was ringing the screen showed it was Tanner
Lincoln went back to his assessment and the last person to see was the resident agent of MI6 James Bond. "So, your MI6's most infamous agent." "I see my reputation proceeds me." Lincoln chucked. "They say your a sexist misogynist dinosaur. That you should have been working in the Cold War." James herd this one many times before. "Sometimes I wonder what SMERSH was like."
"However they also say that you're loyal, a great fighter, and always do your best to get the job done even if there is more collateral damage than would have been liked. By the way Q wanted me to pass on a message: no, your car's not fixed, these things take time especially considering how thoroughly you destroyed it, I have other things to do, stop asking."
"Not that this hasn't been utterly fascinating but can we get to the point." James complained Lincoln agreed. "Right, now that I got to know you it's time you get to know me. I know what you're all thinking and I get it. If say George Washington showed up on my doorstep I'd probably do everything in my power to see if it was a joke before I'd ever take him seriously."
"So, what is it, are you an actor, a man that needs help, time travel, or is this really all an elaborate joke." Zoe spoke for the whole team
"You see I thought this was time travel at first but the more I found out about this world the more I wasn't sure. Everything is powered by either electricity or "fossil fuels" or is it nuclear? It could have been explained as the passage of time but then I looked through the history books, I know that memory fades with the passage of time but I find it hard to believe that in a century or two people would forget or ignore being invaded by aliens or the whole world nearly becoming an ice cube. The more I found out the more I became convinced of a certain theory your scientists came up with. How many of you heard of the Multiverse theory?"
"Multiverse?" Before Zoe can asked if Lincoln was implying what she think he was implying a series of loud booms sounded in the hall way. "EVERYONE DOWN!" M shouted. From inside, the occupants heard the front door blasted open and Campion's yells. "Hello," an American voice called out, "any extraordinary people here?!" James Henry Trotter looked around the kitchen, dismissing the knocked out form of Campion Bond, Sophie said they would be here but so far he could not see them. For now he figured enough time has pass to check on some one he had A LOT of things to say to. He took out his communication rod and pushed the top button.
As the light shone and a holographic number key was projected in the air, James didn't notice a slow presence making its way behind him. He typed the number of his boss and came to they emotion key. What was he feeling right now: fury. It rang, he still didn't see the emerging silhouette behind him, the owner had an almost evil grin. Someone picked up the call. "CHARLIE! YOU, YOU, Y ... You're not Charlie. Who are you people? Where's Mr. Bucket?"
Someone else was on the screen, he was handsome with combed back blonde hair and a well trimmed beard. He looked very confused. "Oooo, is that a video game?" James froze when her heard an Irish voice asked that question. Next thing he knew, he was grabbed from under the shoulders and was flunged across the room, the rod was snatched out of his hand. As he crashed head first into the wall, Hyde was jumping around asking if he he can play over and over again. James rubbed his aching head. 'This just isn't my day. Hey a fruit bow and the're peaches in there.'
Zoe soon ran inside and wrestled with Hyde for the rod. She grabbed it and held Hyde's wrist back. "You stay there Hyde," Hyde chuckled, despite the fact he could easily over power her he'd come to respect Van Helsing to much to do such a thing so when Zoe let go of his arm he complied. Zoe looked at the screen, "now what -" Zoe's voice died in her throat as he looked at the man on the other side. That's funny, she could swear she had seen this man before but she couldn't remember where and when or even how. It must be a mistake but just in case. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"Zoe?" Somehow the man knew her name. "Dr. Zoe Van Helsing?"
Zoe was confused but then the memories came back. She felt herself crumbling away in her lab, waking up in a strange place, exploring a bit, fending off a maniac with a new acquaintance, then suddenly reappearing in her lab. His name was: "Captain Henry Fleming?"
"Henry Fleming?" Lincoln asked behind her. Zoe turned around to see the rest of the League, M, and Lincoln have arrived to see the commotion. "That voice, did you say that was Henry Fleming?" Zoe, barely sure what do do, gave Lincoln the rod. "M Mr. President?" Zoe overheard the conversation. "My most sincere apologies, I really didn't intend faking my death to be my hobby."
Almost immediately Lincoln was bombarded with rapid fire questions. M stood by rubbing his chin in contemplation. This day keeps getting more and more interesting.
Italy, outside Rome
Jimmy finally arrived at his destination: an old abandoned warehouse once owned by Rich Industries. He drove up to the security booth and rolled down the van window. Inside the booth was a seemingly normal security guard however when Jimmy reached over and showed the guard a strange metal card, the guard's eyes briefly flashed purple and afterward stiffly pushed a button, lifting the red and white boom barrier. Jimmy rolled up the window and quickly drove past the both, a garage door opened for Jimmy and the van disappeared inside the building. The door closing behind him preventing anyone from seeing him further.
Nearby Dracula and Hinx watched Jimmy enter the building. "Well," Dracula observed, "not exactly an original hiding place now is it?" Hinx just stood as silent as ever, "Hahaha, I knew you'd agree." Dracula took out his phone to lookup his location and find out the address of the warehouse. "Ernie's gonna love this."
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the sinister party, another more benevolent, creature watched Jimmy leave from the shadows. Putting down his binoculars, the hooded figure reached over to the side of his rather large head with a wooden hand. "You're now inside the building with Bond, Nick. It's up to you now." The Scarecrow of Oz lowered his arm, for all of this Earth's faults the advancements they made in electrical technology was truly something to behold, for instance: the earpieces here make the ones back on his more familiar Earth look like cans with strings. The Scarecrow reached into his pocket and took out an Emerald Key. He held it up to to the air real tight before disappearing with a flash.
Inside the warehouse was what you'd expect from a place that hadn't been used many years, with cobwebs, dust and the pleasant smell of of rotting food. However there's one thing that looked new: four thin robot arms that stuck up in the air and each held what looked like to be a laser gun. The van stopped in the center of the square that the arms formed. The arms powered up and took aim, with a quick *ZAP* there was a flash of light and the van was completely gone.
Thousands of miles beneath the Isla Sorna nature reserve.
The van reappeared far far away from Italy, deep beneath underground in a large laboratory with a dark purple color scheme. When the van showed up almost immanently it was attended to by multiple Irkens, Jimmy popped out of the front door and on to the floor, painting hard. "Fix. Me!" Jimmy punctuated. A few of the aliens walked up to him.
"Did you get what the Empress asked for?"
"Yes, yes! NOW FIX ME YOU TOADS!" Jimmy lifted up his face to reveal his practically destroyed nose and missing teeth. His allies lead him to the infirmary and trailing behind them was a strange cat with glowing red eyes and horns. Once the human was healed she would lead Jimmy to her mistress.
Back at the van, the Irkens had just finished unloading the casket. "Aww, he didn't bring any snacks." One of them complained, "Shut up about your snacks, Jim." One of them opened a portal with a remote and they rolled the casket into the portal, closing it behind them. As soon as they left the van door softly opened again. Mechanical eyes darted back and fourth, checking if any Irkens were still watching. Once the coast was clear, the owner of the eyes stepped out of the van as quietly and discreetly as possible. The Tin Man of Oz, formally known as Nicollo "Nick" Chopper, snuck away form the van. The first part of his mission was complete now he has to find out what the Irkens plans are for this Earth and what caused them to change their suicidal, stubborn tactics. As he headed deeper in the facility, the Tin Man slightly shuttered as he heard the inhuman roars and shrieks of the Irken's experiments.
The Grand Empress' office
The Grand Empress of the Irken Empire was standing up in her office, admiring two old framed WWII propaganda posters on the wall. 'War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.' and 'Big Brother is Watching You.' is what they said. She was way taller than the average Irken (about slightly taller than an average human woman), she had purple eyes with eyelashes, curled antennae, a beauty mark under her right eye, and a cybernetic implant in the right side of her head. The would be tyrant chuckled to herself, pulling out a cigarette packet and lighter. She put one in her mouth and light it up. She took a deep inhale and exhaled, letting out a puff of smoke. She looked at the posters and down at the cigarette in contemplation. No matter the universe or state of circumstances humanity will always possess the talent of slowly destroying themselves through various means, it's like they were begging to be enslaved. She took another whiff of her cigarette, thank the Control Brians for superior Irken healing.
MiMi soon manifested herself on the Grand Empress' shoulder, earning her a few strokes from her mistress. "You wanted to see me, E?" asked her human collaborator, Jimmy had his teeth back and his nose now only had a slight shade of purple.
"Come in, sit down, and shut up." she answered with a British accent. "I suppose you want to get paid now."
They both sat down at her desk. The Empress' held out a three figured hand "Phone." Jimmy complied and "E" attached a devise to his phone that begin transferring trillions of dollars into his bank account. Jimmy looked at his current bosses gross alien form in slight disappointment, her holographic disguise was actually quite easy on the eyes and had a voice that sounded right if only she wasn't really a toad.
"Cigarette?" She offered one.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it, ever."
"So, they told me came back as a noseless, toothless idiot," she organized the research notes of one Dr. Henry Wu as she talked to him, "mind telling me what happened."
Jimmy knew their was no use lying to her. "Look E, it wasn't my fault-"
"They found out, didn't they?" Jimmy's hesitation told her all she needed to know. "Urrrrgh, Damn it Jimmy!" She could throttle him right now. "You weren't supposed to let them find out, not now, not ever!"
"What does it matter? In a one day they'll be nothing, just like the rest of this planet."
"You need to plan for every outcome, in the unlikely event that we fail having a continued presence in a well connected organization like SPECTRE would have been very beneficial to us."
She leaned forward in her chair. "Don't over estimate your own importance, your Jimmy, not James." Jimmy's fist tightened, he was James Bond NOT HIM! "Still, you did manage to bring something very important to me, so your not completely incompetent."
E handed Jimmy back his phone. "We need to spend the rest of today preparing, tomorrow the slaughter begins."
"I wanted to talk to you about that actually," Jimmy let out another puff, "if my cousin's band of freaks show up let me handle them."
"No." E immediately responded.
"No?" Jimmy didn't understand.
"If I can recall correctly you can barely handle one of my Irkens, what makes you think you can take on the entire League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? and besides at the very least I want the detective alive and you'd probably screw that up."
Jimmy raised his hands. Clenching his fists they again were adorned in with the purple gauntlets. "With superior technology like this, they wouldn't stand a chance!"
"Yeah, we'd though the same of S.T.E.A.M." E got up and headed out the door. "Listen Tak, that was a-" E stopped in her tracks, MiMi's holographic disguise turned off and an absurd amount of missile launchers were produced by the tiny robot. "Tak?" E started. "Where did you hear that name?"
"In the infirmary, some of the doctors were calling you Tak." The incompetent spy sweated slightly.
E made a mental note to herself, find whoever called her that and disintegrate them. "Jimmy, you can call me Grand Empress, you can call me E, I wouldn't mind Allmighty Tallest, and behind my back you can even call me toad, but Tak," She turned around and faced him with pure hatred in her eyes, "Tak died a long time ago on the Massive when her superiors strapped a table to her head. Lets leave it at that, shall we?"
Jimmy swallowed a lump in his throat. "Sorry E. Wont happen again."
"Good!" MiMi retracted her missiles and she along with Jimmy went with E to her viewing balcony. Together they saw many Irkens doing a variety of tasks. Some were repairing machinery, others were reassembling ships and mega doomers, and a few were preforming live open body surgery on screaming velociraptors. Everything is coming into place, soon this miserable annoying persistent little planet will be better suited to the Empire's needs and as for humanity, they'll be nothing more than a bad memory, all versions of them.
"I know you're busy but ..." E looked away in disgust as she dropped an alien coin in Jimmy's hand. "You have one hour."
Jimmy didn't like the time he had. "One hour, bur can't I -"
"Leave!" A silver light flashed over E's eye, Jimmy had an empty look for a bit and then he grinned as he ran away to live out his disgusting perverted fantasies in the VR chamber. E turned her attention back to her forces, inhaling and exhaling smoke, a few more days, in a few more days he'll just be another creature to be ripped apart and studied just like the rest of his species.
Campion Bond's son "Jimmy" is insanely jealous of his more well known, successful cousin and absolutely HATES being compared to him. He wants everything James has and is even trying to make Tak his M. (Hence the E nickname and yes, I am using Campion and Jimmy from the original comics)
One historical difference the Earth-1898 has than most other Earths is that WWII was a three way battle between the Allies, the Axis powers, and the newly christen Oceania. Big Brother is viewed in the same light as Hitler.
In terms of the continuity of Jurassic Park, the first two films are cannon while everything else (Alan Grant on Sorna, the development of Jurassic World) is just rumor and speculation, though Masrani Global and Biosyn might still be lerking around.
-The third mission started when many astronomers observed strange activity from space. Next lightning storms stuck and out of the ground came giant advanced war machines that walked on three legs and possessed deadly heat rays. (War of the Worlds, 2005) The League was gathered as a precaution and when it became clear that there was absolutely nothing the world's nations can do against the aliens the league decided to stick together as they would increase their chances of survival as their families had already been evacuated. It was a rough few weeks, looking for food and found a bunker as safe shelter and things only got worse when Hyde, who was the most useful asset, sacrificed himself to destroy a pursuing tripod. (don't worry, Jackman didn't share the damage again) They did get to know each other better (it was perhaps the only time Bond opened to his teammates) had developed something close to actual friendship. Eventually when all seemed loss, the League left the safety of the bunker to accept their fates as food for the Red Weed, but instead of the ruins of civilization they instead found the destroyed remains of one of the war machines. Exploring the area, it turns out humanity was still alive, if badly hurt and a few of the aliens were dying from rapid dehydration. A year of rebuilding and reflecting fallowed and the whole world started looking at the stars, wondering what else is out there and are they friendly?
Literary references
Sebastian the sniper is Sebastian Moran from Sherlock Holmes. (No, he has no relation to Lord Moran from Sherlock)
The Shadow and Green Hornet are pulp heroes from the 30s. On Earth-1898 they, along with some other pulp heroes, where real but nowadays are remembered as stories that criminals would tell each other.
My Audience with Lecter is a reference to Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. The book is this Earth's version of My Friend Dahmer.
The River's weasel ghettos is a reference to how in Wind of the Willows the Weasels were meant to represent the poor/lower class. Should I depict the Wild Wood I won't present it in a negative light.
M not wanting to be called Mother has three references.
* A shout out to Mother from the Avengers. (The British 1960s TV show, not the Superheroes)
* A mythology gag in the original LXG comic where it implied M and Mother were the same person.
* Mallory is Gareth Mallory/M from Spectre. His actor, Ralph Fiennes, previously played Steed in the 1998 film version of The Avengers.
SMERSH is an Soviet Union organization from the original James Bond novels
Rich industries is the company owned by the family of Harvey Comics' Richie Rich.
Please like and review. Constructive criticism is welcomed, did this chapter feel too padded or wordy?
