As Bella pulled to a stop in the Cullen's drive, she took several deep breaths to settle her nerves and center her thoughts. For Jasper's sake, she tried to bury the pain she still felt at Edwards' betrayal and allow the protectiveness she felt towards her cherished vampires to take priority in her emotional state. She knew Jasper would have enough difficulty managing everyone's emotional reactions to this meeting and she needed him, more than anyone else, to hear what she had come to say. Finally, as calmed as she was going to get, Bella grasped her door handle and stepped out of the truck. Approaching the historic house, Bella let herself take it in for a moment and commit it to her memory. She let the same sense of homecoming settle over her that she always felt when arriving at the Cullen's. From the first, the Cullen household had always felt more like home to her than Charlie's ever did. She loved her father dearly, but the Cullen's were her family.
It was Carlisle who greeted her at the door. He immediately swept her into his loving embrace and Bella gloried in it. To her, the feel of the hard, cold stone arms was welcoming, familiar and comforting. Bella desperately needed the security that embrace brought her in that instant. For she knew when the meeting started – the instant she let herself think of the next step ahead of her – she would need it.
"Thank you for being there for me Carlisle." "Of course Bella – you are as much my daughter as Alice and Rosalie." Bella's heart swelled at that statement, and she fought back the despair that had been attempting to flood her for the past days. "I'd like to talk to everyone, if possible. May we meet in the living room?" Carlisle gently smiled at her request, and keeping her protectively under his shoulder, walked her into the room in question. The family was just settling in as Carlisle led Bella to the sofa to rest between Esme and himself. Bella took a long look at each of them. Alice and Jasper, cuddled on the loveseat. Somehow they always looked the perfect couple; even with Alice dressed in the height of fashion and Jasper in jeans and a tee shirt. Emmett and Rosalie took a seat at their feet. Rosalie settled between Emmett's legs with his arms wrapped around her shoulders. The look on Emmett's face made it seem as if he was using Rosalie as a talisman to ward off the pain the coming conversation would bring. It seemed as though they all understood the repercussions of Edward's careless words were still ahead. And finally, Edward, as he sat beside Carlisle, his arms resting on his knees, his face staring at the floor. He was the perfect picture of a tortured soul. As she looked at him, Bella again thought over what Carlisle had said to her in the car. That small part of her whispered once more that Carlisle just might have the right of things. But she again realized it would never matter. For there was still that one little thing she simply didn't have: Time. Knowing if she was going to go through with this, that they all deserved her to look them in the eye, Bella gave the hands of her two adoptive parents a squeeze and then folded herself into the chair across from them.
It was Edward who spoke first "Bella, I…" But she held up her hand to silence him. "Please don't Edward. Whatever you have to say can make no difference today." A look of pure agony crossed Edwards face, but he remained silent for now. It was the least he owed her given the way he had treated her. He ached to know what she was thinking. Though Alice had looked, she had been unable to see anything beyond Bella's arrival here today. Even the coming conversation was an unknown. The thoughts of his family members seemed to mirror his own observations. How broken and utterly defeated Bella looked, while at the same time seemingly very determined to accomplish what she had come here for. How her bloodshot eyes and the deep, bruising circles beneath them made it obvious she had been in misery since they had last seen her. Jasper's mind gave Edward the most to ponder though. He understood the pain she felt, he feared her determination, but it was the protective streak that blossomed each time she glanced at each of them that confused him. What could Bella possibly believe they needed to be protected from?
Bella took a deep breath and began. "I spent the last few days trying to decide if what I was doing was right. I spent a lot of time thinking over everything that's happened between Edward and I. Carlisle, I want you to know I gave a lot of thought to what you had to say the other day, and while I will admit there is a chance you are correct, I just can't see it. Not after taking into account my history with Edward. This isn't the first time he's let me know my humble human brain was not up to his standards. This is just the only time, other than my birthday, that he let me know just what he truly thought of me." As she spoke, Bella could see the lines of torture that were on Edward's face start to spread to the others. She forced herself to continue. "I came here today because I have come to a conclusion. I simply cannot know the truth of Edward's feelings for me, nor of our relationship, at least not now."
She paused to give them all time to think that through. Carlisle and Esme gave her looks of understanding and acceptance. It bolstered her strength to see that they understood where she was coming from. She remembered Carlisle's promise that they would always be there for her. She knew the hardest part was yet ahead. "There is something I need that I do not have." At this, Edward finally broke his silence. He spoke with all the love he carried for this beautiful, amazing human. "Anything Bella, anything. You have only to ask it of me and it is yours." Bella gave him a look of pity. "What I need none of you can give me. For what I need is Time." Bella expected the looks of confusion they all gave her. For could they not give her exactly that? An eternity? She only made them wait a moment before continuing, "I have longed to become one of you since I first fell in love with Edward. Not for the sake of being a vampire, but for the sole purpose of spending an eternity beside the man I love. The man, whom I never doubted loved me in return; that is until my birthday. After Italy, Edward and I had a deep conversation. I had thought I could trust in that conversation. But Edward again proved me wrong. I realized that I cannot - will not - risk spending an eternity on this Earth unless I can trust in Edward's love for me. And right now… right now, I truly believe he is just using me as an interesting distraction, a fascinating toy to play with for a time."
Rosalie suddenly looked like the cat that got the canary, for she was now certain Bella had chosen to remain human. But as Bella continued, Rosalie's certainty began to crack. For she did not understand why Bella took the conversation in the next direction.
