Adventure Malfunction

Locked in a deep depression, Volga wandered aimlessly through Hyrule's cave network. He happened upon Bolson from Bolson construction, who was engaged in a debate with a deku scrub. They were arguing about the impact of artificial inflation on the economy. Volga was infuriated by Bolson's flamboyant looks, so he breathed fire in his direction. Bolson dodged the attack and thus the flames erupted all over the deku scrub instead. It made ridiculous squeals as it succumbed to the cleansing fire. Bolson kowtowed to the mighty warrior, who chose to relent and make Bolson into his slave. They continued traversing the caves together, fighting off cave dwellers as they went. After a few days, they entered a mini dungeon. It was there that they saw Linkle trapped in ice. Volga melted the ice to free her into slavery. Linkle was too cold and empty headed to resist, so she joined the party. With two new companions working for him without compensation, Volga started to feel better. He all but forgot about Volvagia and that bastard who snatched her away. The next day, they left the caves to get some fresh air. Volga walked into Ruto Town to steal some snacks. It was there that a citizen told the trio "I AM ERROR." Volga told him to clam it before he roasts him. Error told them once again "I AM ERROR" and suddenly Volga had 255 weapons in his pocket. Unfortunately, Bolson had split in half vertically and Linkle had turned into a cat. Also, they were now standing in Onox's castle, in the toilet where Façade was crying.

So sad.