Welcome Back! I hope you're doing well, and that you're enjoying my story. Also, I send you to an amazing song about Revan called 'What I used to be' by starwarspunk. I found it recently, even if it's already 5 years old, and if you haven't checked this out yet, then you simply must do it right now. The song itself is amazing and it really gives the climate of Knights of the Old Republic game, so make sure to check it out right after you read this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Chapter 36

"Set the course to Manaan" Revan ordered immediately after walking into the Ebon Hawk's cockpit. Just as he expected, everyone was already on board. He ignored the suspicious looks he received from Juhani and later from Carth. "We're done here" he added, putting on his cloak. The temperature inside the ship was much lower than this on Tatooine's surface and the sudden change made him shiver.

"Got bored with the sunny planet already?" Wolfie teased, rubbing his eyes. It was as plain as a day that he didn't sleep the last night.

"You could say so" Revan replied. "Set the coordinates. We have ten long hours of flight before we reach Manaan. The sooner we set off the better."

"You heard him, Carth?" Wolfie asked the second pilot. "Punch in those coordinates. I'm going to get some sleep."

Carth didn't reply to that. Revan could tell that he was going through their earlier conversation over and over again in his head. Muttering some angry words, he complied, pressing few buttons on the keyboard.

Deciding to avoid the continuation of their talk from the previous day, Revan walked out of the cockpit before Carth could call him. "How has the reparation gone?" he asked Wolfie when he caught up with him.

"Good, I guess" the pilot replied. "I mean, from what I saw, everything is right. Perhaps the Ebon Hawk won't explode now in the hyperspace."

"Oh, that's good news" Revan commented. "Is there something else?"

"Actually yes" Wolfie replied, lowering his voice. "Once again, we were contacted."

"Bendak?"

"No. This call came from somewhere else. From Malachor V."

"Malachor?"

"From Trayus Academy, actually. Darth Traya contacted us."

Revan's eyes widened. It was rare for the old woman to contact him. It made him even wonder if dementia has already begun creeping into her mind, making her forget him. Whatever reason she had to contact him now it had to be a serious one.

"I'll contact her as soon as we're done with our mission" he replied.

"I told it her already. She claimed it was too important to leave it for later. She said you must contact her as soon as you're back on the ship. I'd rather listen to the old woman."

"And how am I to contact her now?" Revan replied with a question. "Everyone is on the ship and not all of the crew know my true identity."

"But most of us do" Wolfie countered. "Only four persons don't know who you are. We could handle them easily."

"We have a much more important thing to do now. Malak is well aware of our route. Contacting anyone right now could give him a perfect clue to our whereabouts. He could easily bring us out of hyperspace then."

"As you say" Wolfie replied with resignation. "But if that old witch begins choking me again, try to do something with that." They reached the sleeping quarters. "I'm going to get some sleep now. Wake me up when we reach Manaan."

With that, the one-eyed pilot closed the door behind him, leaving Revan to his own thoughts.

The first thing that occupied his mind was Traya's sudden attempt to contact him. Whatever it was that she wanted, it certainly couldn't be anything nice and he was sure he didn't want to hear it.

The second thing that came to his mind was his recent conversation with Carth and his previous confrontation with Juhani. If the Cathar woman didn't know it already, she was beginning to, at least, guess who he truly was, and Carth started to have his own suspicions. He was sure that the Republic pilot wouldn't make it on his own who Revan truly was. He was too ignorant to do that. But he was sure that the tension on the ship would soon become unbearable.

The only thing that brightened his thoughts was Bastila. He smiled lightly, raising his left hand. The ring was there all the time – small, so it's not sticking out, but it still was there. He knew he made the right decision even if he was supposed to leave her behind after all of this. That small circular object was giving him now a reason to come back, to succeed.

Revan wouldn't sleep now, of that he was certain. He didn't also see the reason in going to Bastila. Even if they didn't have much time left to spend together, it would be good to give one another a respite. He went to his quarters instead, deciding to put to good use the time given to them before they reach Manaan.

The workout was most certainly something his body could use. It was some time since he had a chance to work out. During his retraining on Dantooine, he had several occasions, but that was all. Now he had a possibility to remind his muscles what exhaustion truly meant.

Back in his Padawan days, he learned a rather specific form of working out, practiced daily by the Mandalorians. It was called mesh'lakot. The Mandalorians were using it on daily basis to strengthen their muscles, tendon, and joints. Mesh'lakot consisted of a group of exercises that were requiring only one's body mass. Almost none equipment was needed, what made it a perfect way of working out while being outside. The only thing that was useful was a bar for doing pull-ups, but right now Revan had to do without it.

Revan smiled instinctively. He really enjoyed working out. It allowed him to clear his head from the overwhelming thoughts and helped him keep his body in shape. Also, it was killing time efficiently. So, without any further thoughts, he began warming up, making sure to prepare his body correctly for the upcoming physical effort.


Bastila smiled to herself. She was standing in Revan's quarters, watching him working out. It was something she used to do during his days as Padawan. She, alongside few other female members of the Jedi Order, used to peek on him while he was busy with the physical training. It always guaranteed amazing views and right now was no exception. Years spent on murderous training and few years of taking part in the wars took their toll on Revan. Often she wondered if it was because of his Mandalorian blood that he was so well-developed.

She bit her lower lip while watching him performing a rather difficult exercise. Revan was currently in an upside down position, supported by nothing but his own strength and balance. His legs were put together with his feet pointing upward towards the ceiling. His hands were placed a little wider than shoulder-wide apart with index fingers pointing forward. His whole body was rhythmically going down and up; the only spot in his body that was constantly moving being his elbows, while all the rest was kept perfectly still. His current position was giving her a perfect view of his scar-covered back, which wasn't given to her to watch often.

Despite him acknowledging her presence, he rather ignored her but she didn't bear him a grudge. She could perfectly understand why he preferred to pretend she wasn't there and instead focus entirely on his workout. The smallest distraction and Revan could end up hurting himself really badly and that was something Bastila certainly didn't want. Which is why she settled for admiring him from afar.

As she was watching Revan bending backward, Bastila rubbed her ring finger of her left hand instinctively, feeling the small, circular object still being there. Her smile grew even wider. In all of his recklessness and impetuosity, she never, ever thought that Revan would do something like that. Perhaps she expected him to pop the question, but certainly not to just simply declare her as his wife. Though she couldn't complain.

One thought just saddened her. Their inevitable separation. She couldn't understand why Revan insisted that she stayed behind while he would go and fight whatever it was out there. After all, with her battle meditation, she could be very helpful. But he kept on saying that it was too dangerous for her to accompany him and all that. She disagreed, of course, but, apparently, she had nothing to say in that matter. She was cheering herself up that he would return to her one day, though, even if that hope was fragile.

"Oh, yeah" she muttered to herself while still biting down her lower lip. Revan was currently doing crunches, making his abdominal muscles shrinking and unclenching all the while. She knew it was a very girly reaction but she couldn't stop herself from that.

Bastila's abdomen erupted with million butterflies as she watched Revan's muscles shaking violently while he struggled to keep his body in a perfectly straight position, supported only by his toes and forearms.

Revan sighed with exhaustion as he dropped his pose. Only now did he truly acknowledge her presence, smiling lightly upon her. She smiled back, handing him a towel so he could fray. He accepted it gladly, beginning with drying his face.

"No way," Bastila said, raising her hand to stop him. "You stink" she added when she noticed that he tried to come up to her. Revan laughed in response.

"Really?" he asked, still laughing lightly. Bastila nodded in response. He chuckled again and reduced the distance that was between them to none in one swift movement. Bastila squeaked at that, making her best to push him back, though her efforts were to no avail. Despite his exhaustion, he held her tightly, making it impossible for her to set free. She protested loudly as he was trying to kiss her, doing her best to stop his lips from reaching hers.

"Well, well, well, rejecting your husband so quickly?" Revan asked teasingly. He leaned slightly backward but he didn't let her go.

"I'm not rejecting you" Bastila protested.

"No? Because to me, it looks just like that."

"I will let you kiss me and do so much more if you just wash" Bastila replied immediately, trying again to release herself from his iron grip. This time her efforts gave her much better results cause Revan's grasp on her lessened visibly. The man in front of her laughed again at that.

"Yeah, I guess I could use that" he replied, releasing her completely. She watched him leave while still standing next to the wall, leaning against it with her back.

She remained that way for few solid minutes; her back pressed against the wall, her eyes closed, her mind drifting across numerous different thought, most of them including her and Revan. Reluctantly, she returned to the presence. After all, she couldn't live her life with daydreaming.

She left Revan's quarters, deciding that she could use a workout as well, only to immediately stumble upon Juhani who seemed to be waiting for her just in front of her husband's quarters. The Cathar Jedi's expression was unreadable, though Bastila doubted if the cat-like woman wished to have some friendly chat. She rarely addressed any of the other crew members, spending the entire days meditating, surpassing even Bastila herself in that matter. Whatever reason she had to talk to her it must have been a serious one.

"Hello, Juhani" she greeted her, doing her best to sound friendly. She didn't have any hostile feeling towards the Cathar woman but she couldn't say she liked her either.

"Bastila" she replied coldly, looking her straight in the eye, making Bastila feel slightly uncomfortable. She wasn't used to looking into yellow, cat-like eyes that seemed to burn down into her very soul. An incredibly long moment of awkward silence followed it.

Bastila tried to maneuver her way around Juhani, only to be stopped by her. "What is it?" she asked, trying to keep worry out of her voice.

"I wanted to talk to you" Juhani replied with the same cold tone. Yet again, the same moment of silence followed.

"Well then, go on" Bastila urged, wanting to get out of the annoyingly awkward situation.

"You seem to be very close with that… Alen" she began. That sentence immediately turned Bastila's inner mental walls on, keeping her thoughts at bay.

"We share a Force Bond if you don't know it yet" Bastila replied, trying to sound as casually as she could. At some point, she succeeded. "And I suppose you know how it works. Sharing thoughts, sensing each others' presence and all that" she explained. Juhani crossed her arms on her chest.

"There's more than what you're telling me" she replied with a broken common language. "I saw the way you two are integrating. You care for him."

"What?!" Bastila exclaimed. Is it really so visible? she asked herself in her mind. "Now that must be just your over interpretation. He and I are linked with the Force, but that's all."

"Then why did he call himself your husband?" Juhani asked, taking Bastila off-guard. She paled slightly, but not so much as for the Cathar woman to notice that.

"He was just… teasing me" Bastila replied, faltering slightly. She did her best to hide her left hand so that the ring wasn't visible.

"Teasing?" Juhani asked, clearly not believing her.

"Yes," Bastila said, this time more firmly. "He's just… immature" she added, looking for the right word. "I guess that his past with the Republic soldiers took its toll on him." Juhani let a 'huh' sound after hearing it.

"So if that Force Bond of yours is as strong as you claim, then you must have sensed the Dark Side in him – powerful as in no one else?" she queried.

"The Dark Side?"

"Yes. The Dark Side. It lingers in him, waiting for an opportunity to show up, to consume him. It happened when he fought the Sand People while searching for you. He wasn't ashamed nor did he regret his actions. He enjoyed killing them, slaughtering them. I sensed it in his words, I saw it in his posture. He IS aware of the Dark Side that is in him and he's not afraid of it. It's almost as if he's embracing it."

"And who says that?" Bastila snapped at Juhani. "Alen told me where he met you. He told me that he fought you on the plains of Dantooine while it was YOU who was embracing the Dark Side."

"I don't deny it" Juhani replied. "But, in opposite to him, I'm doing my best to avoid it. I know that it is there, waiting for me to return to it, but I refuse to listen to it, while he does not."

"Really?" Bastila opposed, crossing her arms over her chest, making sure to keep her left hand hidden. "Because I sense the Dark Side in you and it's actually stronger than in Alen. At least he's never snapping at anyone of us with anger floating out from his words."

"He did just that to me after I confronted him about his deeds on Tatooine. He is tainted by the Dark Side, even if you don't want to admit it, Bastila."


Revan sighed with relief. A hot shower was something he really enjoyed after a tough workout. He sent silent thanks to those who designed the Ebon Hawk for installing the running water. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to endure cleaning himself only with the sonic showers.

There was something that caught his attention, though. The wound on his right shoulder. He was surprised at first on how easily he was forgetting about it until the moments like this or the one from the day before. What caught his attention wasn't the wound itself exactly, but the area around it.

The blackness was spreading through his blood circulation system, painting his veins black from the inside. It has spread further down his arm, reaching his elbow and partially onto his chest. Also, the dark bags began to appear under his eyes. He had no idea what was happening. He was more than certain that he had cleared the wound more than once and disinfected it, stopping the Rakghoul poison from making its way further into his body.

He had few more antidote vials prepared, just in case. As it occurred, this was the case he would be needing them. He took one of the vials and spilled its content into the syringe. He then drove it into his right shoulder carefully, being careful not to add more damage to his body.

What surprised him was the pain, or precisely: the lack of it. He was used to feeling an unpleasant burning while putting some medicine onto the wound, but no response from his body? Most people would take it for a good sign, but not Revan. The pain was the sign that he was still alive. And if he didn't feel any pain, what did that mean?

Revan dressed up, making sure to be careful around his wound. He decided to take care of that later after hearing the loud rumbling coming from his stomach. Something he enjoyed even more after a workout was eating a proper meal. And he was going to do just that.

With some light clothes on, he made his way to the place where the ship's food was located in.


Bastila found him in the cargo hold where the food was. She was surprised seeing him like that. He looked just too… normal, she stated without finding a better word. Juhani's words were still loud in her mind, resonating with full strength. This and her recent dream about her beloved one. She knew that the Cathar woman was right about the Dark Side in Revan and that's what caused the surprise in her. Seeing the man responsible for both salvation and damnation of countless beings in the Galaxy sitting like that, eating, was… a rare sight.

She walked up to him, entering the cargo hold. He smiled upon seeing her, as he usually did. She didn't reply, only closed the door behind her. Revan's smile faltered when he saw her worried expression.

"What has happened?" he asked, putting down his plate.

"Juhani" Bastila replied.

"She again?"

"Again?"

"Wolfie reported that there were few problems with her recently. What is it now?"

"She knows, Revan" she replied quietly. "She knows about our relationship. She knows about the Dark Side in you. But, most of all, she knows who you are, and she is aware that you know it as well." Revan wiped his face with both of his hands. He couldn't believe it. It hasn't been even six hours since he woke up and he already felt the pressure of the day. "What will you do with her?"

"And what would you like me to do with her?" he replied with a question. "Am I to kill her? Right now I'm thinking about the way on getting into that Sith Base on Manaan. I have no time to deal with her."

"How did she even become aware of your true identity?" she asked, ignoring his comment

"It must have been Vrook who told her" Revan replied after a moment of thinking. He earned an even more puzzled look from Bastila. "What? I told you back on Kashyyyk that he's hunting me down. And Master Vandar only confirmed that. He told me I have a spy in my crew and Juhani's recent deeds only confirm that she is the spy. I can't believe I've been so blind to it. That I did nothing while being fully aware of the situation." He chuckled humorlessly. "And here I was, thinking that I could find a solution to everything that happens around me."

"And do you have any idea now?" she asked concerned. Revan bowed his head, sighing deeply.

"For the last days, thoughts were occupied with searching for the Star Maps and with you. I have no idea what to do with her now. I guess that all I can do now is to bring our quest to an end and hope that it won't bring any serious problems. But that's not all of your concerns." He said after the moment when he noticed her expression. Bastila sighed heavily.

"It's what Juhani told about you. About the Dark Side inside you. It… brought back th… the dream" she finished quietly, not wanting to look him in the eye. One small tear ran down her cheek. Revan immediately stood up, walking up to her. He wiped the tear away with his thumb.

"I told you I won't become like this" he whispered to her. "I promised it to you and I'm going to keep that promise. Whatever I'll do, I'll do it to protect you, to protect this Galaxy. She is right about the Dark Side in me, as it exists in every one of us. But it doesn't corrupt me. It calls for me, but I can keep it at bay… for you."

"I don't want to lose you, Revan" she whispered finally. "It happened once. Five years ago when you set out to fight back the Mandalorians. You promised that you'll return. You said that you will make it up to me for the time you'll spend on the frontline. And you returned as a Sith, attacking the Republic you swore to protect. I love you, but how can you expect me to trust your promises when you broke the previous one you gave me?"

"Because you're my wife" he replied sternly but quietly. "You're the main reason why I want to return and not to conquer the Republic but to settle down, to have a life with you. I know that I broke the promise I gave you, but it won't happen again. I will return to you only as your husband. Not as a Jedi, not as a Sith, not as a Mandalorian. I will return to you only as your husband, and your husband only. This or I'll die if I won't be able to keep that promise."


Okay, that was it for today, and yes, this chapter was supposed to be a typical stuff upper before we move on further with the plot. Very soon, we'll get to Manaan, Leviathan and Korriban and the Star Forge itself, so, as you can guess, there will be MUCH MORE action. I just want to ask you to be patient. Also, I want to explain one thing. Mesh'lakot is something I came up with, you could say. And what I mean by that is that I couldn't use the original Greek word 'calisthenics', so I improvised and searched in Mando'a the equivalent words that would mean respectively 'beauty' and 'strength'. 'Mesh'la' means beautiful and I didn't find a respective noun so I used the word that had the closest meaning to the Greek 'kalos' – 'beauty'. And 'kot' means 'strength'. I must say that I would be surprised if I didn't find in the Mando'a the word 'strength' XD. And, if you're interested, calisthenics is also something that I personally am training. And as always I'm asking for reviews and it would be nice if someone who hadn't commented 'Price of the Sacrifice' yet, did it now.