Gohan stared at the ceiling. Sleep was intermittent and despite his best efforts, the anxiety wouldn't leave his head. It had been a long time since it kept him awake this much.

Gohan rolled into his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow. The change in position didn't really do too much, aside from make the temperature a wee bit more palatable.

His mind refused to quiet. He pondered, ran through all kinds of scenarios and yet the anxiety would not stop. It had been a while since that happened. He'd found talking, music, stretching, sketching, coloring…all kinds of things would help him to refocus and recenter.

This felt like—

Like a trigger. Like when he'd been at the baby shower.

But how did that make sense? What was there that could have triggered him?

He was happy! Excited even for the baby. Well, sort of. More so than he had been for a long time.

So, why did the idea of going to the hospital when his mom was going to give birth cause THIS kind of reaction?

Giving up on sleep, Gohan kicked his sheets off and padded out of his room, down to the living room. Plopping down in front of the large windows, he opened them a crack, letting the sweet mountain air flood in. The feeling on his face, the scent helped to flood out those annoying thoughts.

Now what? It was obvious that something about Mom going to the hospital was pulling up emotions that were sending those feelings spiraling. But what? And why? He'd been to the hospital before. The people were nice, as much as one could expect, and even the food hadn't been terrible. Not Mom-tier but nothing really was.

Okay. Sit. Think. Review.

Maybe it wasn't the best choice to do this in the middle of the night but he reasoned that he wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep anyway. Might as well do something constructive.

So…the hospital. What was it about the hospital that bugged him so much? That got all those negative emotions flowing? It had to be something. Something he'd not considered before. Something he was overlooking.

"Okay." He spoke quietly to himself, still gazing outside. "Stupid brain. What's bugging you so much?"

Closing his eyes, Gohan focused. Hospitals. He'd been in them a few times. Never an enjoyable experience, because let's face it, no one wanted to be poked and prodded, especially if they were hurt or sick.

A shrill scream. One that had stuck in his mind. Him, a little five year old sitting next to his mother in the waiting room while they had been trying to patch up what was left of his father. Mom had said Dad was overreacting and even Krillin had seemed embarrassed for him ("Guy gets half killed and it's the needle he can't stand?") but Gohan had only heard his father howl in pain.

A crack. One right after the other—pop, pop, pop.

Daddy screeched.

Those had to have been ribs. Only bone made a sound like that. A crushing, snapping sound. And blood. So much blood, oozing from places it had no right to be exiting from.

Blood smelled like iron. Like a rusty foam on the tongue.

And Daddy was so still, just lying there where Vegeta threw him. And no matter what Gohan did, it was all he could to stay conscious. Daddy, get up. Please, get up. I'm afraid. I'm scared! I'm scared! Daddy, don't die!

Gohan broke from his memories with a shaky scream. Not too loud but enough it shook his lungs.

Looking around, Gohan steadied his heart. He was here. Not out on that bloodied battlefield watching his father be killed slowly right in front of him.

Was that it? Was it because the hospital was the reminder of that first battle? Of when he saw, with his own eyes, that his father was not a god? That he could be beaten?

When Daddy turned red and black because of the blood? Did you know certain kinds of blood was nearly black? Or that it could squirt out like a fountain?

Gohan knew.

"Gohan?"

The boy turned at the voice. His father was standing in the doorway and he could hear his mother right behind him.

"Gohan?" His father's voice called to him again. "Are you okay? What's the matter?"

Gohan stood, left the window open and ran to his father throwing his arms tight around him and shivered in his tears.

"It's where you were dead." He babbled.

"Huh?"

"The…the hospital. After you…after Vegeta hurt you so bad, they took you there. And I could hear you. It's where you were dying. Where you screamed cause they were hurting you and I couldn't stop it and I don't wanna feel that anymore! I don't wanna go back there! Don't make me go back!"

Goku held him tight.