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Chapter 3

The second the words leave my lips I regret them. Quinn instantly turns around and pushes me backwards until I hit the wall. She then runs her fingertips up my stomach, making me shiver and I realise that a tipsy Quinn is a flirty Quinn. Once her fingers reach my bra, she runs them back down before hooking them in the hem of my shorts, pulling me impossibly closer.

I take a shaky breath before looking up and seeing her eyes on me. She doesn't break the intense eye-contact as she slowly moves back slightly to remove her shirt.

"I thought you shouldn't be the only one half naked." She husks, dropping her shirt on the floor.

I rest my head on the wall, staring up at the ceiling. I know she wants me to look down. She steps closer again and the feel of her skin against mine is too much and my resolve breaks.

Slowly, I tilt my head down and if Quinn wasn't standing so close to me, I'm sure I would've fallen over at the sight of our chests pressed together, heaving up and down as we take synchronised breaths.

Feeling her gaze on me, I lift my head again until I meet hazel eyes. I gulp when I realise how close her face is to mine but before I can register it, she starts leaning in until she stops, her lips mere millimetres from mine. I feel her exhale as she shifts, resting her forehead on mine.

I try to search her eyes for an answer but she's looking down.

"Sorry." She whispers after a while. "I just don't want my first kiss with you… I mean, with a girl to be when I'm drunk.

"Damn it Q! You blew it!"

Our eyes snap to each other's as we remember we aren't alone. Quinn pushes herself off me and I finally get a proper view of her shirtless and I can't stop staring.

"Look how into you she is Q, this was the perfect opportunity." Santana cackles and I feel Quinn's gaze turn to me so I finally tear my eyes away from her sculpted form.

"No." The head cheerleader mumbles. "I'm drunk and it wouldn't be right. Plus I'm in a relationship."

"Eh, you've cheated before, what's a little drunken kiss compared to that?"

"What?" I blurt out.

"Oh, she doesn't know?" The Latina taunts and Quinn once again avoids looking at me.

"Sanny maybe you should stop." Brittany interjects.

"No, I think Berry should hear about your drunken little sex adventure with Puck that left you pregnant at 16." Santana says to Quinn, knowing full well that she'd just given it away anyway.

I try not to react, to show Quinn that I don't mind, that it doesn't change anything. Yet despite my efforts, my jaw still drops slightly.

"I couldn't help but notice how you didn't drink to 'never have I ever had a one-night stand'." Santana continues and I notice the blonde's jaw clench. "Is that not what you had? Not what…"

"No." Quinn suddenly shouts. "I will not have Beth be in a world where she was just a mistake from a one-night fling, she's worth more than that."

She flees the room and I go to run after her but am stopped by a hand on my arm.

"I'm on it Berry, and yes I'll be nice, I'm aware I took that too far."

I watch Santana leave and think back on everything that's happened in the last couple of hours.

"How long have you been in love with Quinn?" Brittany suddenly asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What? I'm not in love…" I say, somewhat believably.

"Maybe not, but you definitely really like her. Though I reckon you'd be pretty bad at being gay if you didn't like Quinn." The dancer says casually, sitting down on the couch.

"She told you I was gay?"

"Oh she knows? That explains a lot. No, she didn't tell me, she didn't have to, I can just tell. Same way I can tell that Quinn may only be bi like me but we both have a strong preference for girls, which is why she's acting like this."

"Explains what? Acting how?"

As Brittany ponders how to explain, I perch on the sofa opposite her.

"Well for one the nicknames, both 'Rach' and 'new girl' but especially the latter, are a huge sign that she likes you. She's never given anyone a nickname, besides San and me but that's different, we've been friends for years. Secondly, she seems a lot more relaxed when she's around you, she's never this open, not even with her family just with us mainly. Lastly, Finn. She hardly ever thinks about him when you're around, always remembering him at the last moment. Like when she wouldn't kiss you, her drunken state was her first excuse, only adding her relationship as an afterthought."

I notice how much more articulate Brittany is when she's been drinking but don't point it out and instead decide to open up to her, thinking that if I don't get this off my chest soon, I may explode.

"I just… I feel like she was made to be mine you know? I want her so badly, I don't want anyone else getting the same butterflies I get when she says my name or smiles at me. I don't want anyone else making her blush or calling her 'babe'. I want to be the one who does that, call me selfish, I don't care. She will be mine."

Brittany smiles triumphantly. "Just be patient with her, she'll figure it out eventually."

I quickly mutter a thanks to the tall blonde as the two best friends enter the room again. We all sit in silence for a while and it's clear that we've all somehow sobered up.

Quinn has sat next to me and after a while she leans closer.

"Sorry." She mutters.

"For what?" I chuckle.

"Everything. For trying to kiss you, for not telling you about Beth, for the massive diva storm out."

"Don't be sorry, you didn't have to tell me about Beth, we haven't known each other that long and I know how long people take to open up. In regards to the storm out, I've seen worse, mainly by me." I joke. "But there's especially no need to be sorry about the 'almost kiss', I shouldn't have let you get as close as I did. I guess I just wanted it too much."

She glances sideways at me and I realise what I've just said.

"I mean… um."

"I wanted it too." Quinn interrupts, so quietly I'm not sure if I've imagined it or not.

"Let's hope it's third time lucky then." I laugh, flashing back to the day after we first met, lying on my bed and leaning in.

Quinn lips quirk up into a brief smile before she turns away from me and I sigh, every time she starts to open up and flirt a little I make a joke that takes it too far and she shuts herself away again.


The next day, Quinn and I drank a lot less than the other two girls. I was holding back because I don't drink a lot normally and last night I'd had quite a few shots, the bonus was that I could have proper conversations with the blonde.

Just after lunch, Santana drags Brittany upstairs leaving Quinn and me in her lounge.

"Can I ask you something?"

I watch Quinn hesitate slightly before agreeing.

"You've never kissed a girl, yet you say you're not straight, how does that work?" I ask.

"Technically I never said I wasn't straight, I said that I didn't say I was." She laughs.

I throw her an unimpressed look, causing her to laugh harder.

"Alright fine I'll bite. I know I'm not straight because I had a massive crush on this girl in middle school and soon worked out that wasn't normal for a straight girl."

"Yet you never kissed her?"

"Never even told her, or anyone for that matter." Quinn confesses.

"Then why tell me?"

"You asked." She shrugs.

There it was, it was that simple. If I wanted to get to know the blonde, all I had to do was ask.

"Am I the closest you've come to kissing a girl?" I question.

"So far, yes."

"Can I ask why?"

"You can." She teases.

I roll my eyes. "Why?"

"I'm kind of a hopeless romantic, I want a kiss to mean something. It had to be with the right person at the right time."

"I thought that was just sex." I laugh.

"For most people it is. Don't get me wrong, sex is not something I just throw around, having had my first time ruined, I want to make sure the next time is special."

"You haven't…?"

"Not with Finn no. He knows it's a big deal for me after such a bad experience so doesn't push thankfully but I know he wants it. He's a teenaged boy after all." Quinn chuckles.

"You know girls want sex just as much as guys do." I point out.

Quinn gulps but doesn't respond, I glance over to see her gaze fixed on my lips and I decide to bite the bullet.

"So, hypothetically, if we were to kiss, it'd have to be somewhere special. Not just, say, on a friend's couch?" I blush.

"I don't know new girl, what do you think?" She teases, scooching closer.

"Well, I mean… it's more up to you, you're the one who…"

Suddenly I'm cut off by lips against mine. It takes me a while to register that Quinn is actually kissing me that I forget to kiss her back, causing her to pull away. I instinctively close the gap between us once more and I feel her smile against my mouth as I begin to kiss her properly. She leans back against the couch so I move to straddle her lap and she rests her hands on my hips. I move one of my hands round the back of her neck and up into her hair.

My whole body lights up, it feels right, it feels perfect… It feels meant to be.

I run my tongue along her bottom lip and she instantly opens her mouth wider. We both release a soft moan when our tongues come in contact and I feel the butterflies in my stomach increase.

Eventually, we have to pull away for air so I rest my forehead against hers until she nudges me gently with her nose so I lean back.

Her mouth twitches up into a smile. "Sorry, I totally interrupted you." She teases.

I laugh. "That's fine, it was definitely worth it."

I watch as her smile turns into a full beam at my comment.

"Looks like I'm not the only one with a beautiful smile." I compliment.

"Hmm, well you put it there so is it really my smile?"

As her hands run absentmindedly up and down my thighs, my mind runs wild. I really don't want to ask but I know I have to.

"What do we do now?"

Her eyes widen as the realisation of what we just did hits her, her hands stilling on my legs.

"Oh my… I just cheated on Finn… again."

"Quinn, forget him. Did you not just feel what I felt when we kissed? We belong together." I beg.

"No, I… I can't."

"Can't what?" I ask, but she just pushes me off her lap and walks towards the door. "Quinn, wait."

I follow her but she's already out of the house.

"You're just going to leave me here?" I shout after her as she climbs into her car.

She turns to look at me over her shoulder but then shuts the door and drives away.

"Was that Q leaving?" A voice asks from behind me.

I turn to find a dishevelled Santana descending the stairs.

"Yeah, I don't know where she's going or if she's coming back." I sigh, closing the front door and leaning against it.

"I'll drive you home, I'm sure Q will call you once she's cooled off."

As the Latina goes to grab her car keys, Brittany comes down the stairs.

"Quinn's gone and Santana is driving me home." I explain, but she's too bust staring at my lips. "What?"

"I told you to be patient with her, not to kiss her."

"Hey, she kissed me first okay?"

"Really? Props to Q, but that explains why she's run off." Santana says as she comes back into the hallway. "Come on."

As soon as I get home I thank the Latina and run straight upstairs, ignoring the questions from my fathers. I flop straight onto my bed and try to not think about Quinn.


"Quinn." I call down the corridor on Monday morning. "Quinn!"

She doesn't stop walking so I quicken my pace and grab her wrist and pull it to get her to turn around. As she does, she ends up incredibly close to me and I see a sparkle in her eye before she realises where we are and takes a large step back, but I keep hold of her tiny, soft wrist.

"Quinn, you obviously aren't ready to talk about what happened but please don't shut me out." I beg. "You're like my best friend."

The blonde slowly lifts her eyeline to meet mine. "I told him."

"You did?" I say, heart racing. "And…?"

"He was angry, but didn't break up with me." Quinn admits.

"Oh." I respond, feeling my heart sink. "Well, good. I guess."

"I'll see you around new girl."

Before I can even say anything else, she pulls out of my grip and walks away and all I can do is watch her go.

I stand there long after she's turned a corner, staring into space, oblivious to anything that's going on around me until I feel someone pull me into a nearby bathroom.

"Santana? What do you want?"

"Look, you and I may not be close because you annoy me for some reason but I can't just stand by as you and Q struggle."

"What? How do you know we're struggling? Why do you even care?"

"Berry, you were crying in the corridor."

I feel my face and realise that she's right, I had been crying I just hadn't noticed. I grab some tissue to wipe away the remainder of the tears.

"I care because I see the way Q looks at you, and just know she'd be happier with you so I'm going to help you, if you help me." The Latina continues.

"With Brittany?" I ask.

"Is it that obvious?" She chuckles.

"I mean, you literally dragged her upstairs for sex while Quinn and I were there." I point out. "Do you know if she told Artie?"

"I don't know, but we've done it before and I think he can tell but doesn't seem to care. I think he just likes the status that comes with dating a cheerleader and wants to hold onto it for as long as possible. Same with Q and Frankenteen, all we need to do is get those girls to realise they belong with us."

"Frankenteen?" I laugh.

"What? He's freakishly tall. Anyway, do we have a deal?" Santana asks, holding out her hand to me.

"Deal." I respond, shaking her hand.

"Granted, Q is going to take a lot more work than Britt. What with her dad being…"

"The most homophobic arsehole on the planet?" I finish for her.

"Yeah that. So I have two plans, plan A is you kiss her again, as often as possible."

"How will that help? You think Finn will break up with her if it happens again?"

"No, we don't want him to break up with her, she'll be too heartbroken and guilt-ridden to date for at least a month. We want her to dump him, for you, in fact it'll be better if she doesn't tell him about any more of these kisses."

"How will she feel less guilty if she chooses me over him?"

"It's just the way her brain functions. If she has complete control she won't feel like she went wrong, plus she'll be too happy to care." The Latina shrugs.

"What about plan B?"

"Well plan B actually helps us both but I still don't like it."

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"We pretend to date."

"What? How will that help?"

"Jealousy." She explains, shrugging as if it were obvious.

"Honestly, I think plan A is better." I blush.

"Why? So you get to kiss Q rather than me?"

"Partially, but also because I don't think anyone would believe that we were dating."

"Fair enough. But for the record, I'm an excellent kisser."

"I'll take your word for it."

"You don't want to try it?" Santana teases.

"Um, what?"

"We're both single, what's the harm? We could figure out we're destined for each other and then we wouldn't need plan A or B."

"Are… are you serious?" I stammer.

"Yeah, why? You scared?"

"No." I gulp.

She moves closer and suddenly grabs me and kisses me. I tentatively kiss her back. She was right, she is a good kisser but she's nothing compared to Quinn and I don't feel any connection to her so pull away slowly.

"Well?" She asks.

"It was… nice but… I think plan A."

Thankfully she bursts into laughter. "Alright Berry, it was worth a shot hey?"

"What did you think?" I ask nervously.

"You're good, you have soft lips but I prefer Britt. Speaking of, if you're going for plan A then I want you to talk to Britt for me, just try to figure out where her feelings lie."

"Alright, but can I ask, why are you helping me?"

"So you'll help me, I already said that."

"Yes, but, well why do you want my help? I'm sure you could get Brittany on your own."

The cheerleader sighs and leans against the sinks. "Because coming out will be a lot less scary if I don't have to do it alone. I know I'd have Britt but if you and Q come out too then… it'd be easier."

"Have you told anyone? Besides Quinn, Brittany and now me."

I move to lean next to her, for the first time realising we're in a school bathroom and we're lucky that no one walked in.

"No." Santana responds quietly. "Who knows about you?"

"Other than the three of you, my dads."

"Dads? Plural?"

"Yes."

Santana breaks out into hysterical laughter and all I can do is watch, unsure of whether to laugh along or not.

"And people say it's not genetic." She says eventually.

"Yeah laugh it up, it's not like I've heard this before." I say sarcastically. "In fact Quinn is the only one not to react to it."

"Oh yeah Q, go kiss her." The Latina says, suddenly apathetic again.

"What? Right now? How?"

"That's your problem Berry, I came up with the plans, I can't do everything." She smirks, leaving the bathroom.


I plan to track down Quinn at lunch but when I visit my locker between classes, I find her at hers.

"Hey." I say casually, opening my locker.

"Oh, hey Rach."

"So, I know things are kind of… weird between us but we still need to rehearse our Britney Spears song."

"Yeah I know, what about today after school? I know the auditorium is free and I don't have cheer."

"Sure, see you then." I respond, wishing I'd been the one to offer so I could suggest my house.


"How about 'Baby One More Time'?" I ask after ten minutes of brainstorming with Quinn.

"No that song was way too overplayed. I still think 'Oops I Did It Again' is our best shot."

"Fine, we can do that one."

"Cool, I'll pull up the music and we can work out an arrangement." The blonde smiles.

I can tell the awkwardness between us has dissipated and I'm glad at that fact but I know that if I want to kiss her again I have to bring it up.

"You really don't want to talk about it?" I brave asking.

Quinn puts down her phone and sighs. "I just don't see why we have to."

"Quinn." I start, crawling closer to her and sitting directly in front of her, smiling when she doesn't shift away. "You can't just pretend it didn't happen."

"I'm not, I told Finn remember?"

"That's not what I meant, I don't mean the actual act of kissing, I mean what it meant, how it felt."

"How did it feel?"

I smirk. "No, I want to know how it felt for you."

"I asked first."

"Alright, it felt magical, perfect. It felt meant to be."

A smile pulls at Quinn's lips but I watch her fight it. "I'm sorry Rachel, it was a good kiss but…"

"A great kiss." I interrupt.

"Fine, a great kiss but I love Finn."

"Tell me how it felt, I promise it'll be out little secret."

"It felt… different." Quinn admits hesitantly.

"Different how?"

She doesn't answer, but instead glances down at the hands in her lap, except they weren't her hands, they were mine and she made no effort to move them.

"Quinn." I prompt. "I won't tell anyone, and if you tell me then I'll give you a secret to keep."

I watch as she contemplates it.

"Good different." The blonde clarifies. "As you know you were the first girl I kissed, but I'm glad it was you. It felt… it felt right."

I grin at her confession.

"So what's your secret?" Quinn asks cheekily.

"Hmm, do you promise to keep it?" I tease.

She nods and I lean forward to whisper in her ear.

"Also, I said I'd give you a secret to keep, I didn't say I was going to tell you one of mine."

"What's the difference?" She asks, a tremble in her voice.

"I'll show you." I murmur, moving to capture her lips between mine.

I feel her momentarily try to fight it but I move a hand from her lap to the back of her neck to keep her in place until I feel her start to return the kiss. As she relaxes I attempt to deepen the kiss which she allows with little reluctance and soon our tongues are fighting for dominance but I honestly don't care whose wins.

I push against her slightly and she takes the hint, slowly moving to lie down on the stage, pulling me with her using an arm around my waist. Our mouths never part and I end up straddling her waist as she lies on her back.

"Say you'll be mine." I beg as we finally part for breath.

The hazel eyes below me study my face before Quinn lifts her head up to kiss me again, rolling us over at the same time so she ends up on top of me.

The cheerleader kisses me briefly, three more times until she stands up and moves to leave.

"Quinn." I stop her, sitting up. "Remember, that's a secret."

She contemplates her choices before nodding and beginning the climb up the stairs to the exit.

"Also, you may love Finn." I start, causing her to pause in the doorway. "But are you in love with him?"

She stands there motionless for a few seconds before continuing out of the auditorium and somehow I know that she'll be thinking about that all night.


The next day, I find myself sat beside Quinn and opposite Brittany at lunch. I thought things would be awkward between Quinn and me but she seems to be acting normally and I just pray she kept our kiss a secret this time.

In my peripheral vision I catch a glimpse of someone watching me and turn my head to see Santana sat with a few other Cheerios further up the table, her eyes fixed on me. She briefly flicks her gaze towards Brittany before returning it to me, signalling that she wants me to talk to the blonde.

I nod my head subtly before thinking of what to say.

"Random question." I start. "Do you believe in soulmates?"

I direct the question to Brittany but it's Quinn that answers first. "I do, I like to think there's one right person for everyone."

"Britt?" I prompt, trying to hide my smile.

"Yeah I guess it's possible."

"Do you think Artie is yours?"

"No, if I have one, I know it's not him."

I notice her blue eyes momentarily shift to glance up the table and I smirk as my plan works. I just need to get her thinking about Santana more often than she thinks about Artie and everything will sort itself out… hopefully.

Taking the opportunity, I then ask Quinn if she thinks Finn is her soulmate and she turns her head to look at him where he's sat at the next table, laughing with Puck and Mike.

"I'm not sure." She ponders, turning her attention back to me. "I used to think he was, or could be, but now I'm doubting things."

"Hmm, well I know who my soulmate is." I add shyly. "I'm just waiting for them to figure it out."

I'm fully aware that the two blondes know exactly who I'm talking about but I don't care.

Quinn then abruptly stands and moves towards the cafeteria doors where she pauses and glances over her shoulder at me with a look that says 'follow me'. I wait a few moments before babbling a goodbye to Brittany and following Quinn.

As I reach the corridor I spot her down the other end and she looks back at me before entering the bathroom. However, when I reach the bathroom and push open the door, I can't see the blonde. I move further into the room and it's then that I hear the door lock behind me and turn to see her leaning against the door, one eyebrow raised.

"You're so dangerous." I comment.

"I'm sorry, but you have corrupted me. I can't stop thinking about you." She says, lifting her arms, silently asking me to walk to her so I obey. "All that talk about soulmates, I just need your lips on mine. Right now."

"Who's your soulmate Quinn?" I question as I reach her and press our bodies together. We both release a gasp at the sensation.

"I think it might be you."

"Tease." I remark.

"Kiss me." She begs.

So I do.


The warning bell rings, pulling us out of our trance and our lips finally part.

"I don't want to leave." I admit, keeping my body pressed against Quinn's.

"Your lips are all swollen." She giggles before her expression falls. "Crap, how do we make them less puffy?"

"Avoid hot make-out sessions in the school toilets?" I quip. "Or just say you'll be mine."

"Come on Rach, this is serious. We have math in like 5 minutes."

"Actually, I was being serious. I want you Quinn, and I know you want me too. So I need you to choose, it's me or Finn and judging by what we've been doing for the last 20 minutes, the choice should be pretty simple."

I unlock the door and storm out into the corridor, ignoring all the stares and not overthinking the fact that Quinn didn't follow me.

Although Santana's plan was good in principle, it was tearing me apart from the inside. As much as I loved kissing Quinn, she was still with Finn. I was forcing her to cheat and I didn't like that. I wanted her but not like this, which is why I demanded she chose, just hoping that Santana was right and that all the kissing would lead her to break up with Finn for me. Still, there was still a part of me that thought she might choose Finn, he was the safer option and they'd been through so much together, including her having a baby that wasn't his. If that wasn't unconditional love, I don't know what is.