A/N: Okay this wasn't supposed to be this big, but there was no way to cut it. Brace yourselves for an emotional chapter, guys!

Also, this might be confusing and you might have a few questions, so PLEASE READ MY NOTES AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER ONCE YOU'RE FINISHED READING!

Not betaed. Please let me know if you find terrible typos!


From Which We'll Rise

Part IX: Two Halves I

Naruto swallowed hard as he pressed his sweaty forehead against the rocky wall of the bathroom, the nails of his left hand scrapping its surface before forming a fist. Inside his chest, an irritated moan threatened to leave him while his breath came out in quick gasps that he had a hard time controlling.

Licking at his dry lips, Naruto sped up the desperate movements of his right hand on his cock, feeling the muscles in his body tense automatically at the approach of his climax. Fuck, he was leaking, he was so hard, pre-cum dribbling helplessly from the tip and adding the most exquisite lubrication to his self-pleasuring.

Still, he felt like it wasn't enough. Nothing seemed to be enough nowadays.

He closed his eyes tightly, wishing that he wasn't alone there. He imagined that a strong, familiar body was behind him, a muscular chest pressed to his back as soft lips brushed his ear while a low, sinful voice teased him with seductive words he knew too well.

Look at you… Sasuke would whisper. Losing yourself so willingly for me. You could die for letting your guard down like this, you know?

Naruto gasped quietly, his heart rate speeding up so much it made him feel dizzy. He twisted his hand over his cock as he pumped it at a more leisured pace, eagerly trying to mimic Sasuke's particular way of touching him when he wanted Naruto losing control and begging for release in his hands. What he wouldn't give to call out his lover's name in a plea, to have him there, with him, pleasuring him…

But he couldn't. Outside of the bathroom everybody was getting up and ready for the day, there was no way he could call Sasuke to come to him – they'd be teased until the end of times by the others.

Naruto…

Sasuke would press his naked body against him, his erection firm, coming to rest between his ass cheeks and he'd move, thrusting up against him slowly and provocatively, the length of his cock brushing against his anus as his hand jerked him off and his mouth did the most exquisite things to the back of his neck, his breathing hot against him. Naruto could swear he could feel it as if it was real, too far gone in his own fantasy as he was. He couldn't get enough of how good Sasuke's body felt against him, of how much he wished that agonizing thrusting would stop being teasing to give him what he wanted.

I want you fuck you…

Unconsciously, Naruto held his breath and spread his legs as further apart as his trousers – lowered to his knees – allowed, as if readying himself to submit his body to fantasy Sasuke.

Gods, please do…

He felt his whole being thrumming with desire as he tightened his hold on his cock. He needed more, wanted more because everything just felt empty and he needed to be…

Have you no shame? Sasuke's voice teased him in his mind.

"Urgh…" Naruto let out weakly, feeling his cheeks catch fire and his legs tremble.

Say you want me…

He needed to feel whole, complete. He needed Sasuke in him, around him, possessing him in any and every way, marking him, consuming him…

When would it ever stop?

"Fuck…"

Why wasn't Sasuke there? He thought frantically. Why wasn't he fucking him against that stupid wall already?!

Naruto…

Too lost in his own pleasure and frustration to fully understand what he was doing, Naruto unclenched his left fist and instinctually brought his index finger to his mouth, rolling his tongue around it to coat it with as much saliva to it as he possibly could.

Naruto…

Then, without thinking about it, he brought his shaky hand behind him, easily finding his hole and sliding his finger inside, instant excitement and surprise at the lack of resistance clouding his mind. It felt… foreign, and different, but added a whole new level of pleasure to the whole situation he hadn't known before, and Naruto was already far too close for questions, awes or explorations. Not in the right state of mind to hesitate he thrust the finger in and out of himself a few times and this made the movements in his cock a lot more awkward and uncoordinated, which added yet another layer of realism to his fantasy.

It was too much. The new sensations were so good and his cock was so hard it was bordering on painful, and if it had been Sasuke there, doing it to him, fingering him like this...

Sasuke…

"Oh, shit…" he hissed, not even lasting a whole minute while fucking himself and jerking himself off because his orgasm hit him hard and rather unexpectedly, strings of cum hitting the walls and falling to the ground as his body shook with small spasms of adrenaline.

Naruto didn't move for a while, panting heavily and swallowing the excess of saliva in his mouth as he willed himself to calm down. Once he had managed to stop shivering, he slowly slid his finger out, flinching a little at how much the ring of muscles had tensed around the digit with the orgasm.

Well, that had been intense. And… interesting.

Heaving a sigh, Naruto straightened up and lazily reached out for some toilet paper to clean his hands with, feeling oddly embarrassed by what he had just done.

He couldn't believe he had fingered himself like that, thinking about Sasuke.

It wasn't as if he had never masturbated to thoughts of his friends before, he thought, throwing the soiled paper to the toilet and fishing out more so he could clean the wall and the floor – it wouldn't be good to leave traces behind.

Things between him and Sasuke had been rather tense during the last week, to say the least. Taka was always around, and the amount of daily work didn't leave them a lot of time to sneak out somewhere to be together. Every time they so much as went down to the waterfalls to bathe without the others, they'd be teased by Suigetsu, and unfortunately, Karin had started joining in as well. They did touch more meaningfully sometimes when the others weren't looking, and kissed if they did have a bit of time alone at the end of the day, but Naruto was always afraid that they might be interrupted when they least expected it, because Suigetsu was that kind of guy, who would come and look for them to see if they were behaving and walk in on something he definitely wasn't supposed to see.

So, it had been a while since they had actually done something and Naruto was becoming increasingly frustrated. They had talked about having sex, but they couldn't even afford to make out properly, let alone that.

It wasn't just the sex that Naruto wanted, no. He missed being with Sasuke. Just Sasuke. Not that he didn't like Taka, far from that, but…

There was a need inside him that was becoming increasingly hard to ignore, and it wasn't something he could understand exactly what it was. It was… a need for Sasuke. It seemed simple, really, only it wasn't. But it was driving him mad.

One could call it lust, perhaps, but to Naruto it felt like it was greater and more dangerous than that. It consumed him and made him lose himself. No, it was… a thirst for Sasuke's focus on him.

Masturbating to thoughts of Sasuke just a few minutes ago had Naruto realising he wanted Sasuke to have him, and the awareness had been sudden and even a little bit surprising, but not shocking. Naruto hadn't thought about what he wanted in sex because he hadn't thought that it mattered between them. He had thought about fucking Sasuke and had thought about Sasuke fucking him, but those things were just fleeting considerations, lacking any real true preference because… really, he was fine with whatever happened.

Yet, in the haze of his own desire, he had wished that Sasuke had been there with him, fucking him with his fingers, owning him. If Sasuke had been there, Naruto would've begged to be taken, for sure. He would've given himself without a second thought. And this didn't upset him, even though it did make him feel ridiculous and embarrassed at himself. He was no prostitute. He shouldn't be willing to spread his legs for a man so easily.

Yet, just thinking about Sasuke inside him…

Because Sasuke wasn't just any man. Sasuke was...

"Naruto, are you alive or did you go down the toilet?" Suigetsu's voice said from the outside, knocking on the bathroom door a few times with too much force and startling him. "Hurry up man, I need to piss!"

"Hold your horses, I'll be right out!" Naruto yelled back irritably. "Can't a guy take a dump in peace?"

On the other side Suigetsu mumbled something that he didn't quite catch but didn't care about, either. He was in a sour mood, and not even jerking off had helped.

Once he was out of the bathroom – Suigetsu running past him to take his place – he found that the room had already been tidied up and that Karin was currently making breakfast with Juugo, while Sasuke was sitting on his heels and seemed to be packing a few things inside his satchel.

"We're going out today," he said, looking up after noticing Naruto's inquisitive stare. "Hurry up and go wash yourself up while I get some food ready for the day."

"Out?" Naruto asked, excitement replacing his gloominess almost instantly. "You mean… just the two of us?"

Sasuke probably noticed the hopeful tone, because he smirked slightly and nodded. "Yes."

Naruto felt curious and happy. Was Sasuke able to read his mind or something? Because this seemed too good to be true. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere in particular," Sasuke replied, with a shrug. "We need to talk, that's all."

Talk? Well, that didn't sound as much fun to Naruto anymore. "Okay," he muttered.

He made his way to the closet to take out a clean set of clothes, a towel and soap before heading out to the waterfall to bathe.

He had a bad feeling about this. But at least he and Sasuke would spend some time together.

000

The morning was gloomy and the air was chilly. The foliage of the forest was rather dense, so Naruto and Sasuke were mostly protected from the thin drops of rain that fell from the grey sky, and still, the blond was thankful that his friend had been sensible to suggest they brought their waterproof cloaks.

They walked at a fast pace for a while in silence, Sasuke in the front and Naruto behind him, confused as to why his friend seemed to be in such hurry when, apparently, they didn't have a predefined destination.

While Naruto was happy that they were finally going to spend some time together, he hadn't been happy about the ominous tone that the other had used to say that they needed to talk.

Just the thought of 'talking' to Sasuke made him nervous. They were at a dangerous stage of their relationship, he was aware of it. Like Sasuke, he tried to ignore the cons of what they were doing and just enjoy the peacefulness for a change. They were both volatile people, and their wishes, frustrations and fears collided far too quickly, which was what had happened at the beginning of their journey. But they had pushed it to the side, living with their feelings as if they were real lovers, embracing affection for each other, giving in and just letting things flow for a while. Naruto liked that peacefulness and constant focus they had on each other, it made him think of what could be, but also caused him an unnecessary amount of anxiety.

There were things to be settled and decisions to be made. They couldn't avoid those issues forever, and they couldn't live in such a make believe world for much longer.

Besides, Naruto thought, looking at Sasuke's back as they walked, the more time passed the more they would grow attached to what they had and the worse things would be once the journey was over.

And he was scared of the day when it would.

There was no way he could continue to evade what was of real importance anymore.

Sasuke suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around, causing Naruto to bump into his chest unexpectedly with a small noise of surprise. Looking at his friend, he met with dark eyes that were strangely clear and his breath caught, longing filling him.

Barely aware of Sasuke's hand moving to cradle his nape, Naruto was already leaning in to meet the other's lips halfway, hands fisting the front of Sasuke's cloak to keep him close. Sasuke released a small moan as Naruto pried his lips apart with his tongue, seeking to taste and devour as much as he could. He felt thirsty for that, and Sasuke seemed to share his feelings, which only served to fuel his passion further.

They kissed for a while, enjoying the quiet feeling of privacy and basking in the pure bliss that was being this close in such a carefree way. Naruto could feel their connection tightening as the longing they felt for each other helped spike up their lust, and for a moment, he prayed that it was time for them already, that Sasuke had taken him out there to have him, finally. He knew it was a selfish thing to think, and he knew that sex between him and his friend would never just be something that was going to just happened because he willed it to. Even he knew that it had to mean more than that and it would, somehow, for better or worse, but while he had no intention to push it, he couldn't help but want it.

It would always have to be Sasuke to make the move.

Sasuke was the one to pull away, panting slightly as he ran his eyes over Naruto's features, his lips wet from the excess of saliva they had shared. Seeing the glazed look in those dark orbs, Naruto had to swallow hard to keep his self-control in check. Sasuke liCked at his lips and slowly drew away from him, forcing Naruto to loosen his grip on his cloak unwillingly. His eyes didn't leave Sasuke as he took a couple of steps backwards.

"We'll be here for another week so we can make enough money for the rest of the journey, and then we'll leave," Sasuke said, once they were at a safe distance from each other once more, his voice hoarse but collected. "We'll stop by Bear Country, as planned, and then we'll start making our way back to Konoha."

"What?" Naruto whispered, feeling his heart sink. He should've expected this, but he didn't think they'd be returning so soon. "I mean, already? Why? It's not even been two months yet…"

"You're a Shinobi of Konoha, Naruto, not an information gatherer, and your absence from the village is probably giving Kakashi enough trouble as it is," Sasuke stated. "You can't simply leave with no explanation and expect to be away for six months without a specific mission assigned to you."

"I know that!" Naruto pouted. "I just…"

"It's not like we're going to rush on our way back," his friend interrupted softly, his face now blank, giving away nothing. Naruto hated it when he closed off like that. "There's still a few things I want to show you, but we're not going to spend so many days at a time in one single place anymore. So, I thought you should know that you'll be going home, soon."

If Sasuke had kicked him, Naruto didn't think it would've hurt half as much.

"I will be going home?" he mumbled.

Sasuke offered him an empty smirk. "Don't act like you're surprised; this comes as no news to you."

Sasuke then turned around and started walking at the same fast pace as before, leaving Naruto behind, chewing nervously on his lower lip before running after him and, again, coming to walk behind him.

They were both silent for about ten minutes, but Sasuke seemed to know exactly where they were heading after all. This wasn't a last minute decision, Naruto concluded. Sasuke had thought about this for a while.

Above them, the rain had started pouring down harder, trespassing the foliage and falling heavily over their heads, forcing them to pull their hoods up. It was a terrible day to be out taking walks, but Naruto knew better than to point it out since it wasn't like he cared anyway. Still, he hated how even the weather seemed to be offering a proper setting for the tension that had settled between them.

Eventually, Naruto couldn't hold his apprehension back anymore. "Is this what we're going to talk about?" he asked Sasuke's back loudly so he could be heard over the rain. "About how it's going to be from here on? About us?"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder. "Yes," he said simply, before looking away again. He made a sharp turn left to a narrow path of several slim trees and Naruto followed behind him silently.

They climbed up a small rocky hill for a while – the wind having become rather strong and cold – before Naruto spotted a black roof peeking from above a mass of trees up ahead. They walked for only about two minutes more before coming to stand in front of a red and apparently abandoned temple. It seemed to be very old, too, because the large black wooden doors had been completely destroyed and the visible windows were full of dust and broken.

"Let's go inside," Sasuke said without hesitation, making his way to the entrance.

"How did you know about this place?" Naruto asked curiously, happy to leave the rain.

"Juugo showed it to me the other day," Sasuke explained simply.

The interior of the shrine it was just as plain as its exterior. The floor that had once been of polished cherry wood was now completely ruined and covered by dirt, dust, bits of nature and broken glass. It wasn't very wide, but it had three large pillars on either side of the room that led to a set of five stairs in front of a small altar.

Even though the place was such a mess, Sasuke still lowered his head to say a small prayer, and Naruto felt compelled to do the same, clapping his hands together and muttering a few words under his breath. Then, Sasuke quickly climbed the steps towards the altar where a few half used candles were already glued to the wood of the altar by wax as well as a cup with a old incense. Someone probably still visited that plance, Naruto thought, and left the incense there. He watched, a little dumbfounded, as Sasuke made a few hand seals and used his fire jutsu to light whatever he could. Immediately, the scent of incense filled the room and the six candles were lit.

With a small sigh, Sasuke descended the steps and dropped his satchel to the ground next to one of the thick red pillars on the right while Naruto was left standing there, unsure of what to do with himself or what to think of the location his friend had chosen. There was no denying that the abandoned place was oddly beautiful in a solemn, sad way, and the sound of the rain hitting the roof above them and sliding down the tiles, creating curtains of water all around them that could be seen through the open door and broken windows made it all the more beautiful. In another situation, Naruto would think it to be devastatingly romantic. It wasn't like he knew a lot about romance anyway, but Sasuke seemed to possess a six sense for simple beauty that Naruto himself lacked, so this was definitely impressive.

Only Naruto was sure that the purpose of their visit wasn't a romantic one at all.

"I have been thinking about us, and I think that I've been going on about things the wrong way," Sasuke started, unclasping his cloak with his hand before removing the garment from his shoulders. "As I have once said to you, I don't think I have the right to demand answers from you, or to tell you to make a decision. I think that, now that things are as they are between us, we should talk about what we both want and… see if we can reach some kind of final decision."

Naruto watched, motionless, as his friend shook the excess of water from his cloak. "I think that's a good idea," he said simply.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow upwards. "You should make yourself comfortable, we'll be here for a while."

In all honesty, Naruto didn't want to make himself more comfortable because that would give him a false sense of security he didn't need. But Sasuke seemed to be bent on working things out with a proper posture, and while Naruto wasn't happy, he didn't feel like he had the right to object. After all, he had blown Sasuke off many times since they had started that journey, telling him that he couldn't give him an answer, evading the issue of their feelings and of their future. He had been selfish so far, even though he knew it hurt Sasuke, and yet, Sasuke had been patient, playing his game. But enough was enough.

"Naruto, I think it's time I told you what, exactly I've been studying and what I've been doing during my travels." Walking over to the steps of the altar, he carefully placed his cloak in one of them so it could dry during their time there. "I already know how you feel about Konoha, but maybe if you understand what I want to do for this world you'll feel differently and want to share that with me. I feel like I need to give it a shot even though I know how this is going to end."

Sasuke's words were well-thought out, Naruto noticed, and he had been thinking about this for a long time since he seemed to have prepared himself for some sort of outcome that, in a way, Naruto thought he should've prepared himself to, as well. Sasuke was a ticking bomb, and so was their relationship, regardless of how strongly they felt for each other, and they both knew some things were out of their hands.

"I told you I wanted us to work together and change the world," Naruto muttered, just as carefully, moving his hands to the clasp on his own cloak. Sasuke turned to him and watched him remove the garment like a predator assessing a prey, stoic and motionless. Then, as Naruto shook his own cloak, Sasuke elegantly sat down on the second step, one knee pulled to his chest, his arm resting over it.

Naruto tried no to feel self-conscious of those eyes on him as he pushed Sasuke's satchel a bit to the side with his foot and placed his cloak on top of it. Then, he sat down on the ground Indian style with his back leaning against the thick red pillar.

Nodding once, he said "I'm all ears."

Sasuke contemplated him for a while, his expression inscrutable, before starting. "Ever since we fought against Kaguya in the war, I've been having this strange feeling of uneasiness," he said. "She was defeated, but I don't think we should have a false sense of security at all. There were many people out there pursuing the Sharingan and the Rinnegan; not just Orochimaru, Danzo and Madara, I'm sure. Certain bloodline limits are increasingly close to extinction, but I don't think that this is a relief to anyone."

Naruto's eyebrows furrowed in seriousness, since the issue his friend was presenting was definitely something that even Kakashi had thought about.

"Evil people, greedy people… they will always exist," Sasuke went on. "There will always be someone out there interested in taking over the world and becoming powerful. There will always be someone willing to take revenge for something. What Danzo and Orochimaru know… I can't know for sure that such information hasn't reached others as well. And that makes me feel restless."

Looking down at his knee, Sasuke scratched at it absently. "The war brought a false sense of peace, yes, but many families were destroyed, and many villages perished in the face of the natural devastation it caused. You don't know this because you have been locked up in Konoha all this time, and truth be told, I have avoided certain things in our journey so far so that you wouldn't have to see it."

"You didn't have to do that," Naruto said quickly, a little taken aback by the confession. "How can I know what needs to be done if don't see things for myself?"

Sasuke looked up, his eyes sharp and cutting. "That's the question I've been wanting you to ask yourself ever since we parted ways at Konoha's gate three years ago," he said, his voice calm but filled with obvious accusation. "You were the one who focused so much on Konoha alone that you didn't feel the need to see how things were out there or how the rest of the world was also struggling."

"That's not true!" Naruto defended, feeling his cheeks catch fire with outrage. "Peace comes from all the villages forming an alliance, and we all worked together to fix those issues and come to a worldwide agreement…"

"And what about everything else that doesn't involve the main villages?" Sasuke interrupted brusquely. "What about small villages like the one we were at, filled with poor people vulnerable to disease, natural disasters and ambushes? What about people from lost clans that had to hide in woods and underground lairs to keep their bloodlines from being murdered? What about all the children that were left orphans and homeless because of the war?"

His mouth hanging open, Naruto moved it but no sound came out. He had never thought about such things. Konoha and the main villages being at peace had always been the main concern because they held a larger population and many things that were important to secure. But… of course it wasn't all about them. While the main villages had it all, others were struggling to survive.

"It's not just about the main villages, Naruto," Sasuke muttered, a little more softly this time, realizing his friend was just being faced with a reality he had never considered. "There is so much to be done and so many people that need protecting."

"You're right," Naruto agreed, swallowing the lump inside his throat down. "I never thought about it, but you're right. They're also important, of course."

"I've been studying about Kaguya," Sasuke proceeded. "I want to know more about the history of chakra and of all the main bloodline limits. I've been gathering as much Intel on the Sharigan, Rinnegan and Byakugan as I can. I believe that, if Madara was able to unleash her, someone else might be able to as well, if they have the right information. Besides, I'm positive that there are wrong people out there in possession of my clan's Sharingan."

"Alright." Bending forward, Naruto rested his elbows on his knees, impressed by his lover's train of thought, excited, too, but also a little hesitant. "What you say makes perfect sense, but… what if you never find information on that? What if you study and research and still not come across anything? Will you just… keep traveling for answers? Away from Konoha?"

When Sasuke smirked, for some reason it made a shiver run all the way down Naruto's spine. "That's not all I have in mind, Naruto," he said, almost standoffishly. "I study many things, as you have probably noticed. I've learned a lot during these past three years, and more and more, I am confident that my ideas can be executed."

"Which are?"

"I want to create my own village." Naruto's chin fell, once more, but the other wasn't bothered at all. "I want to take in people that are homeless, orphans and small villages that are willing and join them all in one place to create the kind of village that would be an example for the Shinobi world."

Naruto could only stutter. "A… village? That's… that's insane!"

"Why should it be?" Sasuke inquired, with a disbelieved snort. "Think about it. If everything goes well I might even find lost members of lost clans out there. Maybe Uzumaki people, too. I will be able to revive those clans. With the correct political system that fixes all the flaws that the other political systems have, we'd be able to do what Madara and Hashirama couldn't. Bringing those people together as one big family and giving them a home they will build with their own hands. We'll always take in people who have no home to go to and give them a home that will be rightfully theirs."

To say that Naruto's head was spinning out of control was an understatement, and he had to straighten his back and take a few controlling breaths. It was too much information, too soon. "That's a lot of work, and you don't have the necessary resources to accomplish it!" he said, more than a little overwhelmed, still.

"Not right now, no," Sasuke admitted, with a shrug that was as elegant as it was arrogant. "But I will. I know where and how to get it. I have it all figured out, Naruto. As I said, I don't just take strolls doing nothing while I'm away. I am still learning how to live with my disability, but I will become fully capable soon and I will become stronger than anyone even without an arm."

For a moment there, Sasuke's confident words made Naruto's heart beat faster with pride and admiration. If there was one person that Naruto had faith in and trusted that would accomplish every single plan he put his mind to, Sasuke was it, and truth be told, Sasuke's plan was… pretty fucking awesome. Like… going back in time and re-starting something. Almost like grabbing the past and embellishing it towards a new, more perfect future.

But…

Tilting his head down, Naruto's blue eyes stared at the dusty ground. But would that… help in changing Konoha? How many years would it take for such a place to grow and become influential enough to be a role-model?

"Sasuke, that's… that's a very… honourable and admirable thing to do and I… if you say you can do it, then I believe you can. I know it," Naruto muttered, clasping his hands together tightly.

He could feel Sasuke's eyes boring holes into the top of his head. "But?" he encouraged, ever the perceptive bastard.

Naruto let out a dry chuckle. "Should there be a 'but'?"

"I should ask you that," Sasuke countered smoothly. He was silent for a few seconds before proceeding. "I want to do it with you. We'd be co-kage, of course, and we'd do everything the way it's supposed to be. We'd give people families and our village would be our family. We'd all take care of each other and of our people."

Of course, Naruto thought, feeling his heart sink.

"What about Konoha?" he asked lowly, closing his eyes.

Naruto heard Sasuke sighing and shifting slightly. "Konoha is a steady village as it is," he explained, as if it was obvious. "Of course we'd form an alliance with it later down the road, as well as all the other main villages. You always wanted to protect it, so of course we'd offer Konoha protection. I've been doing so all along, Naruto, even though I'm not there. I do work for Kakashi, you know. And I do help Suna whenever I can."

"I think… I think it's a great idea, I really do," Naruto repeated, opening his eyes and looking at his friend, who simply looked back at him intently, studying him. "If someone can get it done and succeed, Sasuke, I know you definitely can."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, bus his expression remained blank. "This isn't just about me."

"I know. I just… I don't know what to say. I'm happy, and excited, but at the same time…"

"As I said, I'm not having this conversation with you to make demands, I just want to know where you stand and what you want to do," Sasuke pointed out as he ran his hand through his hair to push his fringe out of his eye. "This is what I want to do, and I would like to have you by my side, building our dream village that would be a role model to all the other villages. However, I will put my plan forth, with or without you."

Naruto was assaulted by many feelings then – yearning, exhilaration, disappointment, fear and guilt – and he didn't know what to do with them. He felt like his very soul was torn in two, but he knew he should've expected something like this.

But… he was divided. While being with Sasuke and changing the world with him was probably one of his biggest desires, Konoha was… where everything else was – his friends, his life, his dreams, his home… it was because of Konoha that he was who he was today regardless of past issues. His old dreams had many years of existence, yet their flame was still alive inside of him. Konoha knew who Uzumaki Naruto was. Leaving it and building a village from scratch was like… re-writing his own story and giving himself a new identity. Oddly enough, that was just…

Gods, he hated himself for feeling this way. He wanted to be with Sasuke, wanted to see the world with him and change every little imperfection he knew to be real, and yet, something inside him just… wasn't cooperating.

"Konoha is my home," Naruto muttered, giving Sasuke a defeated look. "It's all I know. Those are the people that watched me grow and become who I am and… Konoha made me who I am, and my family is there. They're all there, except for you…"

"You won't have me there, ever," Sasuke cut, mercilessly. "It's not going to happen."

"This conversation isn't going well at all," Naruto hissed between clenched teeth, leaning his head tiredly against the pillar and stretching his legs out brusquely.

"You were naïve into thinking it ever would." Sasuke's voice was almost condescending now. "You can't expect things to go smoothly just because now we have a different relationship. My feelings for you have never gotten in the way of my goals, and the same happens with you. I don't expect it to be any different now."

The ceiling above him was cracked, Naruto noticed, trying to distract himself from the uncomfortable feeling he was having. "I don't know what to say to you," he muttered, truthfully. "I really just want you to be by my side, Sasuke."

The rain seemed to have gotten heavier, and the strong wind that danced around them through the windows carried with it a cold that smelled of iron and salt. In the distance, a thunder echoed.

The sound of Sasuke's sandals on the ground let Naruto know he was getting up, but instead of acknowledging the action, Naruto kept his eyes trained on the ceiling.

"Let me be blunt with you." Sasuke's steps were slow but firm, but he wasn't walking towards Naruto. "I have no attachments to Konoha. Everything there that once was mine was either destroyed or killed. I have no interest in licking Konoha's ass, as I have no interest in them needing me for anything in specific. I don't live to please them, and I have no interest in their pardon or in seeing approval in their eyes."

"Don't talk like that," Naruto pleaded, feeling strangely more on edge with each passing second as Sasuke's own voice seemed to have acquired a harsher tone.

"There is only one thing I want from that place." Sasuke said coldly. "I want Itachi's name cleared, and for the village to acknowledge him for what he has done for them and then, maybe, I can forgive them."

This forced Naruto to lock his eyes with his friend, leaning his back away from the pillar as unwanted tension made his spine go stiff. "What? I thought you had already…"

"Just because I fought for it and protected it doesn't mean I have forgiven them, or the disgusting people that still lurk behind Kakashi in the fucking council." With his hand fisting the fabric of his linen sweater (one of the ones given to them by the people from the first village they had been on) Sasuke paced firmly in front of the steps of the altar, but his steady gaze didn't leave Naruto. "I did it for you and you alone."

"Wait, how do you plan on doing that?" Naruto inquired nervously, shifting his position so he was on his knees. "That's one of Konoha's biggest secrets! People believe that it was Itachi who slaughtered your clan on his own! If Konoha comes to know that it was their leaders who ordered him to annihilate his clan the trust of its people can be shaken! And what if this comes out to the other villages? That's not what Itachi wanted!"

Sasuke stopped pacing and faced him, tilting his head a little to the side complacently, and a barely perceptible smirk appearing on his lips. "You think I care what the population will think?" he asked, and the deceptive softness in his voice made the hairs at the back of Naruto's head rise in awareness. "It wasn't the first time leaders used genocide as a means to protect their people out of fear, it's not like Konoha won't be understanding. And even if they aren't, I seriously doubt such a knowledge would bring forth a civil war. All I need is physical proof that I can use, and I've been searching for it."

"It's not what your brother would've wanted," the blond insisted. He felt confused by Sasuke's train of thought, but also a little scared, because he hadn't expected it. But, just as with everything else with Sasuke, he should've. He should've known that, even now, Sasuke wouldn't lower his arms. Why hadn't he? Why had he neglected all these things that had, apparently, haunted his best friend for so long? "He kept things a secret for a reason, Sasuke!"

Hand slipping from his sweater to clench at his side, Sasuke pressed his lips together in a grim line. "My brother made many mistakes for the greater good. It doesn't stop them from being mistakes, Naruto. I lost him for Konoha; I lost my family for Konoha. He sacrificed himself for the sake of a village that always ostracized the Uchiha clan and used him as a tool when he was only thirteen; the least they could do was clear his name and give him proper credit. Kakashi knows about what happened, and yet he's done nothing even though now he can."

"You can't think like that when Itachi himself chose to die as a criminal!" Naruto defended, quickly getting to his feet, his heart speeding up without his consent. "It's not Konoha's fault that…"

"Konoha has destroyed my life and hurt the people I care about the most in my life, so don't tell me how I can or can't feel about it!" Sasuke snapped coolly, making the blond flinch in spite of himself. He could see the older male's temper rising at a frightening speed, and while it had never intimidated him before, now it did because he knew how fragile the topic was and how it could potentially be harmful to their relationship and to Sasuke's take on everything involving Konoha.

"The only thing that makes me even think about going back is you. Don't you see that? That place murdered my family and forced Itachi to do what he did! I can't live with that! It makes me sick that they don't know the kind of man he was, that they don't know what he did. Don't you understand?"

"Itachi loved you!" Naruto yelled, but not being brave enough to come closer. "He did all those things by choice, so the world would have peace! He loved the village, but it's not Konoha's fault that he chose that path, Sasuke, if the Uchiha were a threat even he acknowledged!"

"Just like it wasn't Konoha's fault that you were neglected and treated like a monster?" The trump card was cruel and almost made Naruto gasp in shock, but instead, he just bit on his lower lip, hard. That truth felt like a punch to the gut, and Sasuke could see right through him. "You make me laugh. They used you as a target for their hatred of Kurama, and even then, the destruction he did wasn't his own fault but Madara's since he was the one controlling him. Still, they chose to project that hatred on a child who wasn't to blame. That was their choice, wasn't it, Naruto? Did you enjoy that choice they made, huh?"

Clenching his fists at his side, Naruto felt them shake. Sasuke was right, he knew it. Naruto had suffered in isolation, craving for love but finding nothing but hatred and neglect all around him. But things had changed and Naruto, who had once been consumed by that darkness of resentment, had forgiven them. "They have changed," he stated, wishing that his feelings, his faith could reach the man standing a few meters away from him. "They are different, now."

But Sasuke only laughed. "Yes, because you saved their sorry asses, and now everybody loves you," he mocked. "Tell me, have they ever apologized to you? Any of them? Has any of them said they were sorry for the way they treated you instead of just fawning all over you for being a fucking hero? Have they ever stopped to think about all the shit you went through as a child to be where you are today?"

The gods help him because he had had no idea that these sorts of things had even been an issue to Sasuke and it made Naruto feel overwhelmed with affection for him, but it also pained him.

"No… no they haven't," Naruto admitted, lifting his chin up defiantly. "But I don't need them to. I chose to protect and love Konoha. I can't demand anything in return if it was my choice."

"Well, I can." Sasuke's eyes hardened. "It's all a matter of choice in the end, I know that. People need something to blame for their sadness and misery, it's how human beings work. It doesn't make them any less hypocritical and disgusting. In the end, everybody's just selfish and relying on whatever suits them best."

"Sasuke…"

"I fucking hate that place." Voice lowering to a whisper of despite, Sasuke's body seemed to have become oddly rigid, which, in turn, made Naruto's instincts tingle. That feeling coming from him was something Naruto had felt far too many times in the past, in days where Sasuke would easily turn against him just to prove a point, and even if things were different now, emotionally, they were both capable of damaging each other beyond repair. "Just thinking about living there, in that fucking well of ignorance makes my blood boil. I hate what they did to you, to us, and I hate that they only seem to think highly of those who actually sacrifice themselves for them. It makes me sick."

"You have people there who love and respect you," Naruto muttered, resenting the hatred coming from the other man, and even if it wasn't directed towards him, it still affected him deeply.

"Love? There you go, using that word again so easily," Sasuke grunted, frowning angrily at him. "They fear me, which is very different."

"You are also a hero!" Naruto shouted, irritation and desperation clawing at him. "You saved the Shinobi world! Everybody will be forever thankful to you! How can you look away from that?!" He chewed on his lower lip, upset by Sasuke's unwavering gaze, and when he spoke again, he didn't care if he sounded pleading. "If only you tried… if only you gave them a chance…"

The way Sasuke inhaled through his nose, sharply, made Naruto swallow hard and every single nerve in his body tingle with anticipation. And that's when he realized that, even with everything they had gone through, he still didn't know how to deal with his best friend when it came to things like this because Sasuke saw things in a very different way from him.

"I killed him," Sasuke hissed, closing his eyes, clearly in pain. "I killed Itachi. Whether he wanted to die by my hand or not, that's not relevant. I loved him the most in this world and I hated and killed him because no-one knew how to tell me how to feel differently. I watched him die twice, and three times he abandoned me. And regardless of what he wanted for me he said that he loved me no matter what." Re-opening his eyes, he took a deep breath to get his feelings in check. "I can't live without cleaning up his name, I just can't. I don't care about my name or how people see me, but Konoha needs to know who Uchiha Itachi was and what he wanted for it. I will not rest until I can make it happen. I don't care what I have to do or who I have to fuck up."

For about a minute, Naruto couldn't do anything but look at him, his heart tight with sympathy and hesitation. Also, he felt a devastating surge of love for him that made him want to go to him and comfort him in any way possible.

Under different circumstances, Naruto would've gone to Sasuke and wrapped his arms around him, whispering all sorts of reassuring things in his ear – that was what he wanted to do – but he knew that Sasuke wouldn't accept it.

In fact, right now, they weren't lovers at all. In front of him stood Uchiha Sasuke, still fighting for his individual dreams and still clinging to the desire to fix all the things that had destroyed his clan and almost destroyed him. Compared to his past self, he wasn't going about things the wrong way.

Naruto understood where he was coming from, he really did, and he didn't think Sasuke's goals at this point were not valid – not the way they had been back then.

But his dreams implied things Naruto couldn't keep up with, and it broke him. He couldn't possibly claim to understand how Sasuke felt for Itachi, but he knew enough to understand that his love was unconditional, and that, for that love and for his own inner peace, Sasuke would move mountains. To honour Itachi's own love for him, Sasuke would do anything.

In a way, it devastated Naruto because he had genuinely thought that, at some point, Sasuke could look away from certain things and give himself the chance to focus on a new life – after all, wasn't 'making himself better' the purpose of his never-ending travels?

However, Naruto's feelings were all over the place, torn between what he knew of Itachi's wishes, his own personal dreams, Sasuke's dreams, and wanting to help Sasuke in every possible way he could but not wanting to let go of his own ideals in the process.

And it was hard seeing that he was the only one struggling with his emotions because Sasuke seemed pretty certain of himself. But that shouldn't be surprising since he had always been relentless and goal-driven

Licking at his suddenly dry lips, Naruto dared to take a few careful steps towards him. Another loud thunder echoed in the sky that had seemed to have darkened as the candles in the altar flickered dangerously.

"Sasuke, I would do everything and anything for you," Naruto muttered, cautiously approaching him enough so they were close but not in each other's immediate reach. "If this is important to you then I'll help you, okay? I swear I will do whatever is in my power. And when I become Hokage, all those things you abominate in the village… I'll stop them completely. I'll make it so your resentment towards them is erased and I'll change it for sure."

To Naruto's disappointment and slight panic, his words didn't seem to impress Sasuke or sooth his worries because he frowned at him and snorted, anger oozing out of him so strongly that the air around them seemed to have gotten thick with its electrifying effect. "When you become Hokage?" he snapped venomously, clearly not happy about what had just been said to him. "You're just as hypocritical as they are. You, who saved me and told me you couldn't leave me alone, and yet, you let me go and got together with that big breasted creature…"

"That's not what it was about!" Naruto said, easily affected by Sasuke's anger. "Damn it, Sasuke, it has nothing to do with her!"

"Even now you're choosing everyone else over me, just after I told you my ideas!" Sasuke reproached, finally raising his voice to show Naruto exactly how much resentment he had inside of him and why. The way he snapped at him made Naruto flinch. "You're already discarding everything I just told you about Itachi and my dreams in favour of Konoha! Fuck, how can you say that you'll do this or that? When you didn't want to be with me back then and you're still rejecting me now?"

"Because, back then I was scared of you, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled back, pushing aside the fact that Sasuke's accurate accusation stabbed him in a way he hadn't expected to. Things were getting out of hand too fast, too soon, and they were approaching things they shouldn't and stepping on dangerous ground that seemed to not take them anywhere or even present another path for them to take, and that made it all look like they had nowhere else to go.

"Scared?" Sasuke released a bitter laugh, completely uncalled for. "You fucking fought me when I was serious about murdering you! You said you'd die with me! And now you tell me you were scared of me?"

"Yes, Sasuke, I was fucking scared because I loved you!" Naruto threw without thinking, taking another step towards Sasuke, his nails of both hands digging into his palms. "I wasn't aware of it back then, but now I know that I loved you and was completely overwhelmed by it! I'm sorry I didn't know better! I'm sorry that I couldn't act upon properly!"

To Naruto's simultaneous outrage and sadness, Sasuke kept on laughing tonelessly, as if something was just so funny that not even he understood what was so funny about it. "You're fucking hilarious, you know that? You say you love me now, and claim to have been overwhelmed back then, so instead of trying to figure yourself out you go and believe you're in love with someone else? Someone who knows nothing about you? You ruined everything for us, Naruto!"

"Why are we even talking about this?!" Naruto retorted, his head spinning with all the things being thrown at his face with him being helpless to deal with them. "What am I supposed to do now, Sasuke?"

"Fucking fix it!" Sasuke yelled viciously, his laughter disappearing to be replaced by a threatening scowl as he, too, took a step towards the other man until they were in each other's personal space, close enough to feel each other's heat but not enough to come into contact. "You fucked up before, this is your chance to fix it!"

Fix it?

There was a stinging in Naruto's eyes as he stared back into Sasuke's defiantly, refusing to look away no matter how hard it was to see the powerful, alluring emotions there. "How?" he inquired desperately, because he couldn't see a way out of this, and if Sasuke knew of a way, he genuinely wanted to know to make everything better. "You hate Konoha and I love it! I want to become Hokage and you gave up on the idea for other kinds of ideals! And your ideals are wonderful and inspiring, but I can't fight what I want as much as you can't fight your own goals at this point! What am I supposed to do when we have the same dreams but different ways of wanting to get there?!"

Lips parted as he breathed hard, Sasuke tensed, seeming to not know how to respond. Then, it looked as though some sort of realisation hit him because he looked vaguely surprised before his expression changed completely to one of utter desolation.

"You said you wouldn't leave me alone," he said bitterly, lowering his voice.

Naruto couldn't help but roll his eyes. "You're not listening to me!"

Did Sasuke actually expect Naruto to go with what he wanted, for real? But then again, how could Naruto possibly blame him when he had wanted (and hoped) for Sasuke's quiet and accepting return to Konoha?

I was foolish… we both were. Naruto thought, feeling his eyes watering in spite of his valiant efforts to keep the tears from falling. We actually both believed that becoming lovers would give us a chance to compromise.

But there's no way… not with neither of us willing to give up on something.

He should've known. He should've seen it coming.

Naruto tried to speak, but something thick inside his throat stopped him as he longingly scanned Sasuke's handsome features.

Was this how it was going to be? Them both denying the other's wishes and not being able to come together, again?

Had they… been doomed from the start? Were they both that selfish?

Why… why aren't our feelings enough?

"I know I'm selfish, okay?" Sasuke whispered, releasing a long, exhausted breath. All colour seemed to have drained from his face. "I was selfish when I left, naively waiting for you to follow and then throwing it to your face when I wasn't straightforward, and I am selfish now because I want you to give up everything to be with me. I want to take you away from that place. I don't want you to be around those people, I don't want you to belong to them, or to that stupid, useless woman that is beneath you."

"Sasuke!" Naruto admonished, his voice hoarse as tears of both frustration streamed freely down his face. "Don't say that! Don't…"

But when Sasuke's hand reached out to touch his cheek, Naruto was rendered speechless again. "I want that place to fucking burn, Naruto." While Sasuke's voice was now soft, the meaning behind it was very harsh. "And everything that's inside of it, everyone…. I just want it all to burn down to ashes."

On reflex alone, Naruto roughly shoved at his friend's chest and, and without really thinking about what he was doing but acting quickly, he raised his hand and hit Sasuke right across the face, the noise resonating in the blond's ears like a nasty and painful sound. The strike was strong, enough to turn the man's head to the side in a violent way and force him to bend a little awkwardly, but in no way fast or surprising enough to say that Sasuke couldn't have avoided it easily if he had wanted to. Such a blow was child's play to someone like him, and yet, he took it without making a sound.

Panting, Naruto watched him through blurry eyes with the palm of his hand tingling unpleasantly from the slap. He and Sasuke had had so many fights already, but this time, for some reason, that simple, almost pathetic act of violence hurt Naruto deeply.

"I'm sorry," he said almost immediately.

He was angry at Sasuke, not for feeling the way he did, but for having the gall to express it when he knew how Naruto himself felt. He also felt unbearably angry at himself because he hadn't been able to change Sasuke's views and still, he couldn't do anything for him.

He had hit Sasuke solely because he didn't know what else to do to cope with his own pain and self-disgust. No-one could get inside of him as much as Sasuke did, and no-one knew him like Sasuke did – not even himself.

Sasuke was right – he had abandoned him for other people, all because of his fear, and he was going to do it again. Because Konoha was a place, a crowd, a race, and Sasuke was just one, very clever and powerful individual that, alone, was able to shake the world with every step he took.

And Naruto… was still afraid. Not of Sasuke, but of what he represented to him and of what he could do. If Sasuke still felt that way towards Konoha, then…

But how could he not resent the way Sasuke – the person he loved the most in the world, the person he needed the most and wanted by his side – spoke of the place that was his home, the place he wanted to rule some day?

"How can you say these things?!" Naruto sobbed, torn between anger and sheer frustration. "Sakura-chan is from Konoha, and Kakashi-sensei, and Iruka-sensei! My family, your family… they were all from Konoha! I'm from Konoha! How can you have so much hatred and not give a fuck to what happens?"

Sasuke heaved another sigh and straightened up, his gaze as steady as ever, unfaltering in spite of Naruto's tears.

"I'm not like you," he said simply, as if Naruto hadn't hit him at all. His voice had become so smooth, so calm it was upsetting. "And I understand that you're not like me, either. I understand that there are things you wish for that don't involve me, and I understand that you love that place because it gave you the recognition you've been fighting for, and for so long. But I can't feel the same way you do. I don't think I ever will. You defending it won't ever change it."

On that moment, blinking stupidly at the Uchiha and sniffing pitifully, Naruto realized where he had gone wrong with him from the very beginning.

Everything he had ever done since Sasuke set foot inside Konoha again had been a mistake, and he had known it, yet, he had also blamed Sasuke for it. But he had been the one who insisted that he came back. He had been the one to sleep beside him in the hospital, often watching him for hours and crying himself to sleep when Sasuke was slumbering he was so happy. He was the one with the hopes and dreams, promises and demands from the very beginning, and yet, when Sasuke wanted to leave, he hadn't done a single thing to stop him, even if it had hurt, even if his heart had screamed for him to do something, to reach out to him and own him, to see what Sasuke wanted, how he felt. He had ignored it completely out of fear and ignorance.

Over and over again during those three years Sasuke had tried to reach out to him, and Naruto had drifted away from him. He was doing it now, too.

And there was no way to fix it, Naruto realised, a painful hiccup shaking his body.

He loved Konoha. All he wanted was for Sasuke to feel the same way he did, not only because of Naruto himself, but for him. Naruto wanted Sasuke to have a family, a normal life free of the struggles he put upon his own shoulders, filled with love, friends, comfort, respect, a career beside him, as his right arm…

Why was this so hard for Sasuke to understand? Why did this have to be so complicated?

"You could if you tried," Naruto insisted, wiping at his tears with his shaky hand furiously. "If you only trusted me, if you gave them a chance…"

"No."

"If we stay together…!"

"You're contradicting yourself when you just acknowledged neither of us can look away from what we want!" Sasuke snapped, irritation filling him again. "For fuck's sake, Naruto, I don't understand you!"

"My dreams… our dreams need you!" Naruto said, reaching out for Sasuke and fisting his collar, hoping to convey his feelings to him, somehow. "I want to be beside you. I want those dreams to come true with you!"

A flicker of emotion appeared in Sasuke's eyes, but Naruto couldn't identify it properly.

"Well, my own dreams need you, as well," Sasuke stated bluntly, sounding both resentful and exasperated. "But if you want to be Hokage of Konoha while I have no intention of going back there, then I guess it's a no win situation for us."

Sasuke was… mad at him. More than that, he was disappointed, and yet, this ridiculous outcome didn't seem to surprise him. He had known Naruto's answer from the start, but he had hoped, much like Naruto himself had, that things would be different.

With both hands, Naruto squeezed the fabric of Sasuke's sweater and let his head fall to the other male's chest. He didn't know what to do, or say anymore. "I don't… Sasuke… please…"

A hand fell at the back of his neck, warm and familiar, but all Naruto could do was cry, and yearn for all the things he couldn't have.

If only he had listened to his heart and realized how he and Sasuke felt for each other back then. If only he had turned the village upside down to defend Sasuke's honour and force their acceptance of the Uchiha. If only he had accepted that Sasuke had needed him more than Konoha had, for sure, things would've been different and Sasuke would've wanted to stay with him in the village and his plans would've been a thousand times different. Now, so much time had passed that all these things that could've been done from the beginning were a million times more difficult to accomplish now.

"I need peace, Naruto. You were the one who told me that I deserved another chance at life and happiness. You think I'm worthy of it, and so do I. But I have my own dreams that I think will make me feel happy and fulfilled. You either take part in them or you don't. But I'm not going to give in to your whims if you're unwilling to give in to mine."

"Konoha was your home." Naruto raised his head to look at Sasuke, beseechingly. "I just wanted you to let me help you see it as such again. With me. If only you gave me a chance we could get there. Even if it seems like it's too late, if you're patient… with time… we could work with it when I become Hokage and turn Konoha into the perfect village you… we want."

Sasuke pressed his lips together resignedly and used his hand to wipe at Naruto's tears. Naruto relished in the touch like a helpless child, and yet, he wished Sasuke would just hit him, too, because he deserved it just as much.

"Naruto, I won't repeat myself, so listen closely," Sasuke said sombrely, resting his hand on the curve of Naruto's neck. "I'm only protecting Konoha because of you and Itachi. If the two of you didn't have that mindless passion for that fucked up place, I can assure you that I wouldn't give a single fuck about it if the earth swallowed it whole. But since it won't happen, and since I can't help but indulge you, I will protect it out of respect to you, nothing else. But I want my brother's name cleared and the Shinobi world to know who Uchiha Itachi was and exactly why the Uchiha clan is dead. I need that, and I will have it, with or without your help, and I don't care if it happens now or in thirty years. I will have it."

"And when you have it… will you come back?"

"No."

That was it, then. They were doomed to fail; doomed to be away from each other forever. It was a two edged knife.

They both had strong reasons to feel the way they did, it wasn't like they could blame each other at all.

It still hurt, though. Somehow… somehow Naruto thought that it would be different. Not being able to do anything, to change another person's heart wasn't something he was mature enough to understand. People had always believed in him, allowed themselves to be carried by his flow, but Sasuke wasn't just anybody, and it was obvious that he wasn't charmed by Naruto's ideals and promises anymore – Naruto knew that he was the one to blame. He was the one who kept failing him.

With a groan, he pulled away from his friend and ran his sleeve under his nose furiously. What good would crying do anyway? The damage was already done, and things were what they were. There seemed to be no turning back now, and that was both their choices.

Still, the sadness he felt seemed to be running on an endless spree.

Sasuke really was a force to be reckoned with, Naruto mused bitterly. A fucking tornado no-one seemed to be able to tame, not even him.

Love seemed to only take you so far, after all.

"I'll help you," Naruto stated, as firmly as he could with his quivering voice, sniffing loudly and ignoring the way Sasuke's now almost sympathetic gaze made him want to return to the warmth of his body. "If you want Itachi's name cleared, I'll do everything I can to make sure Konoha knows who he was. We'll talk to Baa-chan and Kakashi, and we'll look for evidence. Sai was from ANBU. And if you're going to start your new village, I will become Hokage in Konoha and provide all the resources I can so you can do it, and I'll make sure your political system is acknowledged by all villages…"

"Why are you crying?" Sasuke interrupted. "You're all snot and tears, it's disgusting. Did you really think that this conversation would go well?"

"No, I didn't…"

"Then stop crying. We've already settled that there's no other solution than both of us going our separate ways again, and that's it."

"Because I want to find a way for us to do this together!" Naruto blurted out, angry that all of that situation didn't seem to upset Sasuke as much as it did him. "I want to be with you, you fucking bastard! And I'm so angry because I know you're right! And I want you to have everything you want and I want to give it to you! I But I can't look away from what I promised myself I'd do with my life and it hurts that you hate it so much, but I know you have reasons to and I wish I could erase that hatred but I can't be selfish and tell you to not feel the way you do…"

"Calm down."

"Why is it like this?" Naruto snapped at him. "Why? I want to be with you so bad, Sasuke, but I can't… I can't leave them behind. And you're so stubborn, but I'm being completely selfish as well and I can't tell you to think differently when I don't do it. But it's not fair!"

"I know," Sasuke all but admonished, running a hand through his hair. He then rummaged inside the pocket of his pants and took out what looked like a piece of grey torn fabric that wasn't exactly a handkerchief but that was clean and extended it to Naruto, who snatched it away from him. "Don't cry. Come on, sit with me."

Blowing his nose on the piece of fabric, he allowed himself to be pulled by the elbow towards the set of steps in front of the altar. He and Sasuke sat down with their sides pressed close together. Sasuke's hand rested on his thigh in a simple gesture that was meant to bring some kind of intimacy and Naruto was grateful for it.

They were both silent as Naruto wiped at his face, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down and stop his frustration from making him cry more, but it seemed as though the despair he felt inside of him would never go away.

It was still raining heavily outside and it seemed like a storm was coming by the way the wind had lifted. Naruto hadn't noticed the air draft around them before, but now he realized it was really cold and windy. Oddly enough, it helped soothe him because he and Sasuke being together like this and in terrible weather conditions was something that had become precious and familiar to him.

Shifting a bit closer, he leaned his head down on Sasuke's shoulder, just needing the comfort that he would soon be without. Sasuke didn't lean his head on his, but he did press his lips chastely to the top of his head like he sometimes did.

"How will we fix it?" Naruto asked weakly, once he felt more in control of his emotions. "What can I do? Tell me so we can find a way."

"There is nothing to fix," Sasuke whispered. "Once this journey is over, you'll go back to Konoha and I will go back to my journey. You'll work your way up to the Hokage position and I will keep doing my studies, searching for threats, providing the village with information as I've been doing, and working my way towards building my village. That's all there is to it. Nothing will change, really."

Leaning away, Naruto looked at Sasuke meaningfully, his voice almost failing him again. "What about us? Doesn't this mean anything to you?"

Sasuke's eyes were calm and his expression inscrutable, but there was something swirling in their depths that compressed Naruto's heart and told him exactly how he was feeling towards their situation. "We are two halves of the same whole," he said, rubbing Naruto's thigh fondly, even though he wasn't smiling at all. "I told you that you are mine, didn't I? And you already know what you mean to me. That's not going to change, ever. But I'm not going to be your long distance lover, that's for sure."

In spite of himself, Naruto smiled sadly. "Of course not…" he replied, twisting his body towards Sasuke and reaching out to brush his long fringe away from his eye and tuck it behind his ear. That fringe seemed to be in a stubborn mood today.

Sasuke really was a handsome man, and for some reason, Naruto didn't like that he seemed to be trying to hide his eyes. Naruto loved Sasuke's eyes – always able to look deep into his soul, so strong and intense, capable of making him experience so many different feelings that no-one else seemed to be able to.

They stared into each other's eyes in silence, both emotionally exhausted and unwilling to fight anymore. There was no way to turn things around unless one of them caved in, and it was clear neither was willing to. But what right did either of them have to demand it from the other?

They loved each other and they wanted to be together, to work together, but there were too many issues to allow it, and frankly, Naruto didn't think that begging for Sasuke to change his mind was fair when he was already being selfish enough.

It was either one of them giving in, or them both going their separate ways, fighting for their separate goals and, some day, hopefully, their dreams could meet again and they would be able to work together like they were supposed to.

There was no way things could ever work with a 'compromise' between them because it was impossible for anything to work when one of them wasn't even around. It wouldn't be fair for either of them.

So that was it, then, Naruto thought, broken. In the end, they both had demands the other couldn't comply to and everything was ruined.

But then again… had anything ever had a chance of being fixed in the first place?

TBC…


Guest: What you say is probably true, although I don't believe that Sasuke has any intention of keeping the bloodline alive. I don't think he ever did, and as it's stated in this chapter, Sasuke wants to look for lost members of clans in order to revive them, so I'm thinking that he is probably hoping to find other Uchiha descendants out there. But yeah, I'm almost sure Konoha was in need of a baby boom or something for EVERYONE to have had kids at the same time. Also, as I have said MANY times already, this story will follow the original ending, but I will give it my own ending, so please don't give up on the fic :) I don't see any sense in SasuSaku either, I think it's a pitiful pairing that does nothing but ruin Sakura's character. But yeah, I work with the crap Kishimoto gave me. Thank you for reviewing!

Guest 2: Thank you so much for the review! I'm really glad you like this fic! And yes, I'm going to stay true to the original ending of the manga, but that won't be THE ending of this fic regardless of how things go ;) About Sasuke's and Naruto's relationship after the journey… I do have plans for it, but I guess I'm going to have to see how they both react to certain things. Thank you so much for the support, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

XienRue: Thank you so much, dear, and thank you for reviewing! Sasuke and Naruto and Yin and Yang, and I believe that their bond is stronger than anything seen in that manga, something that goes beyond what even lovers have. Kishi gave us that and expressed so much of how they felt for each other only to push it to the side in the end when he let Sasuke go away again and paired them both up with girls they had no bonds with. And even in Gaiden, it's like these things don't matter because it's all about Sasuke's inexistent 'connection' with Sakura and Sarada, who he hasn't seen for 12 years, and Naruto acts like a Sasuke worshiper even though he lies about their bond and even though said bond isn't even approached. But anyway. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and again, a big thank you!

Guest 3: Thank you so much for the kind words, I truly appreciate it! I hope this update was fast enough and that you like it ;)


Okay, guys, first of all, this part isn't over yet. There will be more talking, and other things, and this really isn't the last of Sasuke's and Naruto's relationship as lovers.

Also, I know the conversation seems a bit confused (to me it does) because there are so many things there and many things they should probably address and tell each other but… yeah.

And I have to explain to you guys the logic behind Naruto's reaction because he sort of comes off as a douche considering all the stuff the blabbered on about in chapter 698 of the manga. I never believed that Sasuke would return happily to Konoha, but I do believe that, if Naruto had fought and tried to make him want to stay from the beginning, things could've been different. But Naruto didn't give a shit once he got Sasuke back.

A lot of authors write Naruto as doing anything and everything for Sasuke, fighting for his goals, leaving everything behind for him. If this was an 'alternate ending' fic, and if 'Naruto' hadn't ended the way it did, I strongly believe that that would be the kind of thing the Naruto we all knew would do.

But as it stands, this Naruto did let Sasuke go on chapter 699 and didn't manage to accomplish anything he told Sasuke they would. Even the political system is messed up in chapter 700 and Gaiden and nothing was really fixed or improved. So, this is what I kept in mind for the writing of this conversation, so yes, Naruto does act selfishly and Sasuke does give up on trying to change his mind because Naruto just doesn't know how to embrace an alternative future that's different from what he did plan for himself. I think that Naruto still doesn't know that his happiness won't come from him fulfilling his childhood dreams alone, but… as I ALWAYS say, Naruto has always been a hypocritical character.

But, as I said, this part isn't over yet, and this fic is far from being finished.

Also, please remember that this story does follow chapter 700 and Gaiden in a way (even though I'm not planning on approaching those things), BUT I WILL GIVE IT MY OWN ENDING, SO DON'T BE DISCOURAGED.

I will reply to everybody's comments later tonight when I get home from work! Sorry for the delay!

Thank you all for reading and for loving this story, I really appreciate it!

Oh, and tomorrow is my B-Day! God I'm getting old. I will be working all day so, yeah, I won't be doing anything fun. But... yay for being alive and healthy and all that ;P

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!