A/N: Okay guys, be ready for a huge, useless chapter. I ask you to forgive me in advance, but I needed this chapter to sort out where Sasuke and Naruto stand, and to comprehend Sasuke's feelings at this moment.

It's not exactly a very important or eventful chapter, so don't expect much. To me, though, it feels perfect because I desperately needed to write it before unchaining the events that will form the story from now on.

Also *whispers* Sasuke and Naruto!

Also, I wanted to say that there is a lot of stuff that has yet to happen in the story and that I have no intention of bashing characters. Some things might happen that might upset you in the future, but my goal is to portray the characters in the most human and realistic way possible, and follow canon with my own magical twist. I know the way I do things might look crazy at some point, and maybe you guys might not like this or that, but unfortunately for me, I really can't follow the story I have planned and please every single one of you.

Everything happens for a reason.

I also hope you guys know that, for this to be as close to canon as possible, this story can't be all about the Sasuke/Naruto relationship – it has to revolve also a bit around the lives they lead, separately, and the people surrounding them.

BUT, I do read every single one of your comments and take them ALL into consideration and I do try hard to work around what you guys are expecting, in my own way.

Well… I do hope you enjoy it anyway!

Beta'd by the lovely SNlalalandNHreality who did a wonderful job at this! Thank you dearly for your hard work, you rock!

Warning: A bit of intimacy between Sasuke/Juugo in the first part.


From Which We'll Rise

Part XIV: Acceptance

Sasuke was laying on his back on a fluffy futon as he stretched his arm over his head lazily. It was probably noon already.

Two days previously Sasuke, along with Karin and Juugo had rented a small room for the three of them at a simple but clean inn, and Sasuke felt positively content. Later today, he would be on his way, back to his studies, and back to focusing on his path and his dreams. He felt like he was more than ready now, and that he finally came to a point where he could be released from the burden of his own feelings and finally spend time alone with his own thoughts. Well, he actually needed it now.

It wasn't like he was tired of Juugo and Karin exactly, it was just that he wanted to keep living without shackles, like he had done for so long, and really start thinking about himself and how to start working for his own future, for the shinobi world, with his own hands.

But there was something he had to do first, and he'd be on his way in only a few hours.

The sun filtered through the window, warm and inviting, a gentle breeze waltzing inside the room carrying with it the scents of the world outside. In the distance, the sound of a running shower alerted him that Karin was in the bathroom. Next to him on the futon Juugo also stretched his muscles with a gentle yawn before scratching at his naked chest. Sasuke brushed his own fringe away from his eyes before looking to the side, at his friend. Noticing that he was being watched, Juugo's head turned so they were facing each other.

In silence they watched each other without moving, their naked bodies close enough to feel each other's heat, but not enough to touch.

This was what Sasuke enjoyed the most about Juugo, he considered, feeling a wave of fondness hitting him. The fact that things were natural like this, that they didn't need to always behave like lovers just because they were fucking. Juugo kept his distance mostly until Sasuke either summoned him or initiated something on his own; he wouldn't touch Sasuke without permission or if the moment didn't call for it, be it a random touch or a more intimate one. Karin was a bit more daring, though, but then again, she had always been affectionate, and yet, she never pushed Sasuke's buttons either.

They wanted him, yet they gave him the necessary space and never demanded more than he was willing to give.

It had been good for a while, Sasuke thought, turning slowly so he was laying on his side, reaching out a hand to absently brush his fingers over the curve of Juugo's strong shoulder. This casual intimacy, not being alone, always having an escapade to ground him whenever his mind started to crack… It was all very new, very twisted, but also very simple. A simple diversion, a quick acting drug that caused no addiction. Sasuke liked it simple, for a change.

Sasuke's hand moved, his fingertips touching a slightly stubbled cheek and causing Juugo to close his eyes and sigh gently.

Side by side, Sasuke and Juugo lay quietly, enjoying the silent companionship. After a while, Juugo reopened his eyes before carefully moving so he was hovering slightly above Sasuke, one hand on either side of his head. Sasuke shifted so he was once more on his back, looking up at the large man calmly.

Juugo understood him without him saying a word. It wasn't like they could communicate deeply and clearly with just one look like Sasuke and Naruto did, but all it took was a sign from Sasuke, and Juugo was very much capable of reading him easily, and Sasuke liked that. No questioning, no hesitation, just plain action and reaction. It wasn't about lust at all, or passion with Juugo and Karin, but about meetings and blossomings, and about sharing something between the three of them. An exchange, Sasuke supposed, only he did feel like he was the one benefitting more, no doubt about it.

Sasuke brought his hand up to touch Juugo's chest, placing his palm over his heart and feeling the quick, healthy heartbeat. It was still weird for Sasuke, to perceive other people's feelings in such a detached way, so simply physical. With Naruto, the physical part had been obvious, but their bond had always allowed them to feel each other's urges and feelings as if they were their own. It was the type of intimacy regular human beings couldn't possibly understand. It was deep and intense and so exposing that it made one feel violated and vulnerable, helpless. This kind of normal intimacy was safe, bland, with just enough exposure and just enough space for him to keep to himself what needed to be guarded. It was relieving.

Juugo's honey-coloured eyes travelled over Sasuke's features, a gentle, but slightly crestfallen expression in them. Juugo knew very well that they'd be parting ways that same day, as did Karin. Sasuke couldn't possibly tell when they'd reunite again, but maybe someday by chance, or if Sasuke himself longed for them at some point. Maybe he would long for it. Maybe the sex, maybe just the company, maybe something else entirely. These were things that didn't bother him anymore. He wouldn't run from his own life, ever.

Running his palm up Juugo's chest, Sasuke let it slide, slowly and cautiously up the column of his neck. Again, Juugo sighed contently and leaned his head to the side to willingly receive the caress until Sasuke's hand traveled towards the back of his head and curled around the hairs there. Sasuke shifted again, and the man above him got the hint loud and clear because he moved to the inviting spot between Sasuke's parted thighs. Long gone were the days when Sasuke found himself struggling internally with his own pride. Why had he even thought about it in the first place, the first time he had been fucked? It was all about mutual respect, desire, and giving in when the time called for it. With Naruto, it had also been about love and wanting to belong, but with Juugo, things had been different.

Juugo was a larger man, gentle and caring, but no less passionate and as such, in need of possessing his own dominant role. But his repressed desire to be cared for demanded other things as well - things that Sasuke could easily provide - so their dynamics were settled surprisingly fast. Having such a powerful and visually imposing figure submitting to him willingly had left no room in Sasuke's heart to feel even remotely subjugated when things happened the other way around. Besides… sex didn't always have to be about who was giving in and for what purpose. It didn't always have to have a significant meaning, nor to be about proving something to the other person involved.

With Karin… well, Karin was a very dominating woman, of that there was no doubt, and adapted to the things Sasuke liked rather easily. Sasuke knew why she was so experienced and flexible (just like Juugo), but it wasn't something neither of the three would ever approach if they could help it. What happened with Taka stayed within Taka, and Sasuke simply knew that these things would never reach Suigetsu's ears. Even if Sasuke was sure that Suigetsu would never turn down Sasuke's involvement with the three of them, it was already too much. Besides, the last thing Sasuke needed was being constantly flirted with with and teased about the things he'd done - as surely Suigetsu would do, even if unintentionally so.

Sasuke's legs came up to surround Juugo's waist as he pulled the man's head down. Their lips met in a languid and fluid slide as Juugo's heavy naked body fell on top his, warm and rough, their semi-hard erections coming to press against each other easily. Sasuke's nails scratched possessively at the skin on the back of the man's neck, making him shiver openly.
Juugo said something against his mouth but Sasuke didn't care to hear it. He didn't need it, neither did he want words of farewell or yearning. He was done with sad partings, they were useless. Besides, this kind of goodbye was never supposed to be forever.

Taking a breath, Sasuke surrounded Juugo's shoulders with his arm and parted his lips to deepen the kiss, silencing the man and making sure he didn't waste time with trying to say useless things. His thighs flexed around Juugo's waist as their tongues met, slowly and deeply. The larger man was quick to understand what Sasuke wanted, so he moved his hips tentatively so they could slide against each other, their cocks rubbing together languidly and teasingly.

Sasuke was barely able to stifle a small pleasurable gasp. He really liked it like this, and he knew he'd miss it in a way. He was almost sure that he wouldn't need it, though. But what did he know? He had stopped wondering about the what ifs of the future.

The kiss picked up a pace, their bodies heating up consistently as their breaths became more elaborate. Sasuke could feel one of Juugo's hands feeling the pillows underneath his head, surely for the condoms and lube that had been left there the night before. Good.
It was alright if Karin wasn't there yet - Sasuke would definitely make it up to her before leaving.

This was the least he could do for everything those two had done for him. This is was all he had to give right now. But the day would come, he promised himself, when he would truly make it up to them like they deserved, as human beings, and as Shinobi.

000

Sasuke left the small Inn freshly bathed, wearing new clothes and carrying enough provisions for a while. His Katana had been properly sharpened and polished, firmly secured to his back. He had new blank scrolls, pens and pencils with him. His scratched headband was still firmly hidden in a secret pocket in his pouch, as per usual. Clenched in his fist, a crumpled piece of paper stood, with a vague message that offered him a choice. He had made his.

It had been about a month since he had last been to Konoha, and this time spent travelling with Juugo and Karin had been something akin to cathartic for him. They had visited Mika and the others at the village once more, and then simply travelled, Sasuke's style, towards nowhere in particular and no specific goal in mind. Nothing had bothered him during those days, and when it did, he shut his own mind down and occupied himself with more useful things.

As Sasuke made his way down the unknown streets in that mid afternoon, he was filled with nothing but calm.

It wasn't as though he had been running away, with Taka, no. He had simply needed the emotional peace. He hadn't wanted to forget about who he was or how he felt, no - quite the contrary: he had been exploring different facets of himself, and in his own way, working on himself and on embracing who he was. In many ways, he had, and there was so much about him that he had yet to discover, so much about who he was as a person that he needed to let loose and embrace.

He didn't regret it at all. He had needed it, not on a physical level, but surely on a personal and spiritual one.

He sometimes wondered what his family would think of his actions if they saw him right now. Would they understand, or would they twitch their noses at this sort of behaviour? Would they reproach him and tell him he wasn't suited to be called an Uchiha?

It wasn't like the Uchiha name even had value anymore, but Sasuke still loved and respected its honour as much as he possibly could. He'd never forget who he was and what he had fought for. He'd never allow himself to forget his family, his clan, and the things he had yet to accomplish for their sake.

For Itachi's sake. There was still so much that he had to do, and his path was only just beginning.

Sasuke liked to believe that his parents still loved him and respected what he stood for, just like Itachi did. He liked to believe that they understood what he needed, what moved him, and that they watched over him, protecting his path and helping him move forward. In his mind, they understood his pain, his love, his motivations, and that all of this made him strong. Even if they wouldn't agree with it, they'd support him and want for him to be happy and fight for what he believed in, always true to himself.

Either way, these weren't things that troubled his soul. It was no use wondering about things he'd never have an answer to. But he did like to believe that somewhere out there his loved ones understood that his heart was in the right place and that, at this point of his life, things might not be ideal, but they were the way they had to be considering the circumstances. That was all he needed.

He had come to understand that 'love' was complicated and had many shapes. 'Love' was a volatile, dangerous and constantly evolving feeling that shaped itself inside humans depending on the exterior factors surrounding them. Sasuke had learned by now that 'love' was never predictable.

Feelings themselves, could be the best thing in the world or the worst form of torture. Still, it was up to him to learn how to live with them. And he was learning. He was learning how to deal with the pain and look ahead of it. Soon, it'd be just a passing feeling that he'd throw over his shoulder whenever it hit him.

Sex was just sex, and there was no need to overcomplicate it. Men fucking men, or women, or multiple people… who cared? Why did people kill themselves over sexualities, labels, over what was politically correct or not? Bodies were made for this - to fight, to fuck, to live, to struggle, to feel, and to bleed. They lived, knowing that they would definitely die someday. Why limit oneself with pointless shackles and fight one's own instincts when humans were nothing more than barely civilized animals anyway?

More than ever, Sasuke rejected the idea of finding a label for who he was as a human. He moved according to the wind, he acted based on his ideals, and that alone made him strangely content and at peace with himself.

He would fight for what he wanted. He would love the way he wanted to, and no longer would he allow himself to be dragged around by his feelings. He was better than that.

The world was a very hypocritical place to live in. Humans were nothing but hypocrites, hiding behind masks of self-righteousness. Who made the rules, anyway? Sasuke had his own values, so he'd make his own rules.

He felt like he was ready to start over and face the things that he had been avoiding. He was stronger now, and he would prove it.

It was with a light heart and a new resolution that he left the town to begin his journey towards Konoha. Hopefully, this visit would be the last in a long time.

000

Naruto was laying on his back in his bed, staring at the ceiling of his room. It would be the last time he'd look at it like this, since from that day onwards, he'd be living somewhere else - the house he and Hinata had rented where they'd live together as husband and wife, and where, in a not so distant future, they'd watch their kid grow.

The sun had barely risen, but already Naruto could tell it would be a beautiful, perfect day for a wedding. Surely Hinata would be happy.

Naruto himself had barely slept a wink. It wasn't as though he felt nervous, no; it was just that he had this constant feeling of restlessness and of dislocation that he couldn't quite shake off no matter how hard he tried.

His life would change completely from this day onwards, and even he, as a person and as a family man, would have to change and sort out his priorities.

He couldn't say that he felt ready for any of this. He was 21 and had just barely started to understand the dynamics of life as an adult, and already things were taking a giant turn for him, and there was no one he could blame but himself.

Well, this is what he had always wanted, so what difference did it make that this happened now instead of later?

With a sigh, Naruto placed his arm over his eyes and kicked at the sheets until they weren't covering him anymore. He didn't even want to get out of bed right now, let alone go to his own wedding.

It wasn't like he didn't want to get married, it was just that he felt so emotionally drained. The baby, talking to Hinata's family, asking her father for her hand in marriage, talking to everyone about it, getting things ready as fast as possible, finding a new home…

So many changes in such a short amount of time, and he felt like he was the only one feeling overwhelmed by all this, and without a grounding force to support him.

He was the man of the relationship, after all, and there were certain things that tradition demanded of him that Naruto had known nothing about but that he had been forced to learn.

He swallowed hard and took a sharp intake of breath. Even so, through it all, there was only one thing that was really making him feel edgy.

He had sent a note to Sasuke, telling him the date of his wedding, but he hadn't invited him per se because he didn't know how that would make Sasuke feel. Inviting him would seem hypocritical, but not inviting him would just be cruel and out of character for Naruto, who always wanted Sasuke present in his life. He loved Sasuke, so of course he would, in any other situation, want him around.

But Naruto himself didn't know how he was feeling right now. Did he want Sasuke to be there on this important day of his life? Sasuke was his best friend, his most precious person so far, so of course he did. But it was precisely because Sasuke was so precious that he didn't know if it was a good idea to have him there. They had been lovers - something Naruto was reminded of every day - and having Sasuke there witnessing Naruto getting married to someone else seemed like something that would hurt them both. Not to mention that Naruto himself was terrified of his own reaction if Sasuke's eyes were to watch him take this step from a front row seat. He had always been confident about himself and his resolution had always been unfaltering. But this… if Sasuke was there, he couldn't be sure that he'd be strong enough not to ruin everything.

So… he had just given Sasuke the date, and decided to let the man choose what he wanted to do.

Only Naruto had no idea what he wished the outcome to be. All he knew was that he wouldn't mind seeing Sasuke at all. Or rather, he needed to see him, even if it probably wouldn't be the best of times at all.

Inside him, he was praying that Sasuke would come, but dreading it as well.

A sudden gush of energy ran through his body, startling him and causing him to sit upright on the bed. Breathing hard, he looked around the room frantically but there was no one there. He could feel someone watching him as another flow of energy pulsed inside his veins, intimate and alluring.

His mouth suddenly ran dry, but he jumped out of bed at once and ran to his window, sliding it open and looking outside, his eyes urgently seeking the figure that he just knew had to be there, somewhere.

But he found nothing but the usual view.

How…

"Your instincts are becoming dull, Usuratonkachi."

The voice was smooth and low, and made chills of awareness run through Naruto's body, every single nerve he owned reacting to those simple words.

Quickly, Naruto turned on his heels to find Sasuke standing in the middle of his room, tall and mysterious in a long black cloak and his usual satchel. He looked good, clean and healthy, and so oddly breathtaking that Naruto had to forcefully swallow the dry lump inside his throat. It had been about a month since they had last seen each other, but Sasuke's bodily presence never failed to have its effect on him.

He couldn't believe that Sasuke was there, in his apartment, and on such a day. Naruto didn't know if he wanted to reach out and hug him or run away. By the way his hands tingled with yearning and his heart raced, he knew what his body wanted.

"You…" Naruto muttered, licking at his dry lips, unsure of whether he felt radiant or very self-conscious. "What… what are you doing here?"

Sasuke looked around the room with a nonchalant expression on his face. His eyes fell upon a chair next to Naruto's wardrobe before he placed his satchel over it. Then, he removed the strap across his torso, that carried his Katana, and carefully placed the weapon on the floor.

"It's your wedding day, isn't it?" Sasuke said casually, bringing his hand to the clasp of his cloak and undoing it. "I'm supposed to be your best friend, or at least you always said so. So I wanted to do my part by being here for you on this special day, and make sure your got your shit properly together."

Naruto's mouth moved without a single sound coming out as Sasuke removed his cloak and neatly placed it over the satchel. Underneath, he was wearing a pair of dark grey pants and a dark green sweater that hugged his body in a rather flattering way, the sleeve where his left arm should be hanging empty.

"You're… you're coming to the wedding?" Naruto asked hesitantly, even though he couldn't stop watching Sasuke as he ran a relaxed hand through his own hair.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow upwards. "Of course not," he said, on his face, a slightly disgusted expression appearing. "And certainly you don't expect me to be that much of an idiot. I definitely don't want to see you getting married to that woman."

If Sasuke had punched Naruto in the chest it would've hurt less than the reality of that statement.

Naruto's shoulders tensed and his bandaged hand scratched at his other arm. "You're just as brutally honest as usual, I see," he muttered.

"I can always leave if my presence here isn't welcomed," Sasuke said without missing a beat, and causing Naruto to frown at him.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he hissed, looking deeply into Sasuke's eyes. "Of course I want you here, Sasuke."

He pursed his lips together and frowned deeper. Sasuke watched him impassively, but his eyes were alive and fierce, easily perceiving Naruto's words.

For a moment, they stared at each other intensely. Naruto felt like there were so many things he wanted to ask Sasuke, so many things he wanted to tell him, but he couldn't bring himself to. He wanted, more than anything, to go to him and put his arms around him, to feel that familiar comfort, that feeling of completion he had so longed for, but he simply stood there, rooted to the spot, simply because he could feel the same feelings coming from Sasuke.

The air seemed to vibrate between them and it was hard for Naruto to breathe. He didn't even know what he was supposed to do, or how he was supposed to react. Thankfully, as per usual, Sasuke took matters in his own hands.

"Alright, then," he said, with a small nod. "What time is the wedding? What do you need help with?"

"I, erm…" Naruto was surprised by the question more than anything else. He glanced at the clock hanging in the wall to his right. "Everything's settled, I… the wedding's at noon, but the guys are coming in about three hours with my clothes to help me get dressed… It's barely seven in the morning..."

"Right, I'll be gone by the time they get here," Sasuke stated casually. "Well, at least I can cook you breakfast and make sure you bathe and shave properly." He actually offered Naruto a shockingly mischievous smirk, then. "Although I think a bit of stubble actually suits you, but it's not something women like, is it?"

"How would you know?" Naruto inquired, with a devastating sinking feeling hitting his gut. Sasuke's smirk faltered ever so slightly.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate your haircut?" Sasuke said, making a disapproving face at him.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate that you wear your fringe like that?" Naruto countered, crossing his arms over his chest. He was only fighting Sasuke on this because he felt bad. Sasuke had liked his hair longer, and for a long a time, Naruto had kept it that way because, somehow, it had made him feel closer to Sasuke. But then Hinata had told him that she prefered shorter hair, that it gave him a more mature look, and he had accepted it, even though a part of himself had felt devastated that he had done something against Sasuke's liking. It was a stupid train of thought, he knew, but still…

But he liked Sasuke's hair, even though he felt like it was a shame that the new hairdo hid practically half of his handsome face and that beautiful rinnegan.

"I suppose that's fair," Sasuke said, heaving a sigh, his smile turning to a clever, knowing one that clearly had comprehended Naruto's true feelings. He looked around the room again, unnecessarily. "Well, I'm borrowing something to wear and a pair of slippers; I don't want to get my clothes dirty. Do you have food in your fridge I can cook with?"

"Yeah, I do…" Naruto muttered, feeling himself blush and tense. They had spent so much time together during that journey, sharing everything, going through everything together, and yet having Sasuke in his house, in his room, so casually and claiming that he'd touch his things and wear his clothes felt eerie. In another life, this would've made him curse at Sasuke and call him all sorts of names at the guy's nerve, but right now, he was just feeling very affected. Emotionally and physically, as if, for some reason, his heart hadn't been ready for this at all.

Why was this so difficult?

Why was he so torn between being overwhelmingly happy or just confused and scared of Sasuke?

No, not of Sasuke, but of them. Of himself. He felt like his control was dangling on a thin thread.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke's voice came out calm, almost soft. "What is it, Naruto?"

"I just…" Naruto took a deep breath and bit on his lower lip as he looked to the side. He couldn't handle that stare at all, it made his whole body catch fire and...fuck, he knew Sasuke knew it, too. He almost felt like Sasuke was being this way on purpose, and maybe he was. Only Sasuke was somehow stronger, his stance stoic, even though his own emotions were clearly all over the place. "Thanks… for being here. I really… I really wanted to see you."

Sasuke watched him for a while.

"I know; that's why I came," he said, choosing his words carefully. "Go take your shower, Usuratonkachi. You need it."

Naruto frowned at him, but refrained from commenting. He didn't even feel like he had the right to feel embarrassed anymore, since he was an open book to that man anyway.

Throwing one last look at his friend, he walked past him with every intention of making his way out of the room and towards the bathroom. However, he couldn't help but stop at Sasuke's side for a second and carefully touching Sasuke's right hand with the tips of his bandaged fingers. They both looked down at the same time, with their breaths suddenly stuck inside their throats. Together, they watched Sasuke's fingers gently closing around Naruto's. Their fingers moved together, in light touches that were meant to be soothing, feathered-like caresses. That innocent but meaningful touch seemed like a gift from the heavens to Naruto. The sight was something akin to artistic, poetic. It gave him life but ruined him at the same time. It spoke about a lifetime of things they'd never tell a soul.

"Go take your shower," Sasuke whispered, not looking up. Gathering his courage, Naruto made an acquiescent sound with the back of his throat and forced himself to let go and make his way to the bathroom.

000

Back in his room, freshly showered and carefully shaved, Naruto put on a pair of boxers, yellow shorts and a baby blue t-shirt. It would be no use worrying about clothes now if he had to change into his ceremony attire soon. Now, he was towelling his hair while staring intensely at the drawer of his bedside table, fighting an internal struggle that was actually driving him crazy. He could smell a breakfast of eggs and toast coming from the kitchen, and it was such a welcoming scent, especially when he knew who was making it, for him.

Naruto lowered the towel and clutched at his own t-shirt over his wildly beating heart with his now unbandaged hand.

Sasuke…

He felt like such a horrible person for thinking about the things he was thinking. On his wedding day. This wasn't who he was supposed to be; he wasn't supposed to entertain such a horrible course of action, not on such a day, not when he was about to become a father.

He glanced at his drawer again. He felt like he wanted to cry, especially in humiliation because Sasuke could totally feel his anguish right now. Sasuke couldn't read his thoughts, though, luckily.

Giving in to his internal demon, Naruto threw the towel over his bed and made his way to the bedside table.

'Don't do it, Naruto…'

Naruto's hand stopped in the process of opening the drawer. Kurama hadn't once interfered with anything related to him and Sasuke. Not once had he teased, advised or reproached him. They hadn't ever talked about it, even if Naruto had been able to feel Kurama's exasperation towards some of the actions he had taken in his love life. They had talked about a lot of things, but Sasuke wasn't one of them, maybe because Kurama didn't want to meddle, or maybe because Naruto himself didn't want to talk about it.

'You made the choice of being in Konoha and becoming Hokage,' Kurama's harsh, cold voice resonated within him. 'You chose to not be with Uchiha even though the two of you have been disgusting like this since forever. You're going to become a parent, a married man like you always idealized.' There was anger mixed up with sarcasm in Kurama's tone, and Naruto swallowed hard. 'You're not the brightest crayon in the box, but this is pitiful, even for you.'

'I'm not in the mood for your funny games,' Naruto thought, opening the drawer and immediately finding what he was looking for. 'You don't understand, Kurama.'

'I don't understand?' Kurama laughed. 'He's not yours to have, Naruto. You have no right to go for the kill just because you know you'll be given what you want. If you love him like you are constantly telling yourself you do, then you should respect those feelings a little, don't you think? It's your wedding day.'

'Shut up,' Naruto hissed in his mind, clenching his teeth. 'That's exactly why…'

'You are stupider than I thought,' Kurama cut, his voice clearly angry right now. 'Suit yourself, lover boy. You'll mourn it all more than he ever will, and you know why? Because for a hero who said one should always be true to themselves, you sure don't practice what you preach.'

'That's enough, Kurama!' Naruto knew he was being a jerk, but he really didn't need to be told something he already knew far too well. 'You were doing fine not interfering! Just… don't, okay? I know all of that, but I can't help it, okay? I can't help it…'

'I never felt sorry for you, because in spite of everything, you always had the strength to do the right thing.' This time, the beast's voice was frankly disappointed. 'But I do feel sorry for you right now.'

With this being said, Kurama went silent, and Naruto felt him retreating to a deeper pit within himself, his presence vanishing.

Naruto couldn't help but sigh. What the hell was he doing? When had he become this ridiculously pitiful person that even the demon residing within him felt the need to interfere?

Naruto grabbed for the item he was looking for and shoved it inside the pocket of his shorts, slamming the drawer closed shut. He knew all of what Kurama was telling him was right, but he really couldn't help himself when it came to Sasuke. He wasn't even sure that he'd have the guts to go through with it, and he knew he was being an ass and a horrible human being, but…

Well, he needed this, and if the chance presented itself, then he would take it. He knew very well how Sasuke operated, and if Naruto himself took a step back at the last moment, then Sasuke wouldn't move on his own, either, so there was a chance that all this drama would be in vain. Although, Naruto seriously didn't know which outcome would be the best since neither seemed acceptable in his mind.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto made his way to the kitchen to find Sasuke standing by the small counter, his back turned to him. He was wearing a pair of black sweat pants (Naruto's) and a green sweater (also Naruto's). On his feet, a pair of grey slippers could be seen, again, the extra pair Naruto owned.

The blond had to swallow hard. Seeing Sasuke in his environment like this, wearing his clothes, touching his things...

"Are you doing that on purpose?" Sasuke suddenly asked, looking over his shoulder and startling Naruto.

"Doing what on purpose?" Naruto asked, confusedly.

"Nevermind," Sasuke said, turning around with a cup in his hand that he extended towards Naruto. "Coffee? I also made toast and eggs."

Only then did Naruto confirm that, indeed, on the table, one could see a plate with freshly toasted bread and another one with beautiful yellow scrambled eggs. There was also a jar filled with orange juice and two glasses.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Let me just have coffee first..." he said, slowly making his way to Sasuke. He accepted the cup of coffee and leaned on the counter beside him, taking a small sip of the beverage. It had just the perfect amount of sugar. "That's really good."

"Of course it is," Sasuke said, reaching out behind him and grabbing for his own cup of coffee before he, too, leaned his lower back on the counter.

They drank the coffee slowly without speaking for a while. Naruto was torn between finding comfort in the scene and feeling completely out of himself. Having Sasuke near him made everything in him lose control.

"This is really… unexpected," he said after a while, softly. "This cozy scene of you in my clothes and slippers. It's familiar, and yet it's new."

Sasuke turned his head so he could look at him. "You like it?"

"It's beautiful," Naruto admitted, with a small smile, looking at him from the corner of his eye. "I like you all over my stuff, in my home. It's really..."

"You're getting a boner just because I'm in your home?" Sasuke interrupted, casually, blunt as always and with a hint of amusement, and Naruto couldn't even bother to deny it.

"It's not as if I can help it," he replied, with a slightly self-conscious shrug.

Sasuke released a small chuckle. "At least you're honest, too," he said, bringing the cup to his lips again.

Naruto looked openly at him now, both out of curiosity, but also because he wanted to take in everything that Sasuke was. He had missed this simple intimacy more than he had ever anticipated.

"What happened to you?" He couldn't help but ask, elbowing Sasuke's side slightly. "You seem… different. Like yourself but… I don't know, less… preoccupied?"

Sasuke sipped on his coffee while he absent-mindedly looked up at the ceiling. He lowered his cup. "Aren't you going to eat?" He asked, motioning towards the small round table with his chin.

"Ah, yeah, of course," Naruto said, jumping slightly. "Will you join me?"

"If you want."

The two carried their cups of coffee towards the table and placed them on it. Naruto waited for Sasuke to sit down before dragging his other chair closer to Sasuke's so he could sit by his side close enough that their knees could touch if he moved his leg. The other man simply quirked an eyebrow up at him but made no comment. Sasuke poured them both some orange juice and Naruto wasted no time in grabbing for a toast and putting some scrambled eggs on it before passing it to his friend, who took it with a small nod of gratitude. Naruto then helped himself as well, and together, they ate.

The eggs were really good, moist and soft like Naruto liked, and with just the right amount of salt, so he offered Sasuke an appreciative sound behind a mouth full of food that made the other smirk slightly.

Sasuke was still nibbling on his toast when Naruto finished his and had a bit of juice. He put the glass down, just then noticing that there was a bit of egg at the corner of Sasuke's mouth. Instinctively, he reached out and wiped it with his thumb before bringing it to his own mouth and sucking on it. Sasuke eyed him expressionlessly, but his eyes darkened considerably. Naruto swallowed, feeling his cheeks slightly flustered before helping himself to another toast.

"So, huh…" he stuttered, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "Do you have another lover?"

He had no idea why that particular question had left his mouth so mindlessly, but it was out anyway.

Sasuke seemed only vaguely surprised as he chewed slowly. "I did," he replied shortly, with an elegant shrug. Naruto's heart fell.

Well, what had he expected to hear, anyway? He had been the one stupid enough to ask, knowing fully well that an affirmative answer would upset him. He took a deep breath and bit on his lower lip, looking down at the toast in his hand.

"You have no right to be angry," Sasuke pointed out seriously, maybe because of the face Naruto made.

"I know, and I'm not angry," Naruto lied in a whisper. "I just… I guess I've always felt very territorial of you, and I just…"

"Territorial?" Sasuke retorted, disbelievingly. "I'm not yours to own, Naruto."

"I know that."

He had lost his appetite. His stomach was in knots. He wanted to ask Sasuke who his lover was but knew he had no right to do so. "What about Sakura-chan?" He asked instead, putting his toast down on the plate.

Sasuke sighed. "Sakura understands that we are not a couple, but she insists on waiting," he muttered. "That's her decision, and I have nothing to do with it."

"Everyone thinks you two are dating."

Sasuke looked at Naruto intensely just then, his eyes narrowing. "So? People believe what they want to believe. Sakura's fantasy is a social reality, my own sexual preferences aren't a dilemma for people and your life is a lot easier, is it not? No-one will ever suspect of anything going on between you and me if the two of us are supposedly in relationships."

Naruto leaned back on his chair and crossed his arms over his chest as he threw Sasuke a sideways glance and a pout, but he didn't reply.

Sasuke sighed again and ate the rest of his toast in silence. "I'm not planning on taking any other lovers, though, if that makes you feel better," he said blandly after a while. "I only did it because I needed to prove something to myself."

"Like what?" Naruto inquired in a mutter.

Sasuke tapped his fingers on the table and leaned back as well, looking down at his own hand. "I needed to free myself from the idea that I would never be able to be with anyone other than you," he explained, choosing his words wisely. "You fucked Hinata and got her pregnant. I was angry that you could do it when I thought that my feelings for you turned me into someone exclusive for you."

Naruto lifted his head up, his eyebrows quirking upwards.

"But if you could fuck other people easily, then it wasn't fair that I was trapped by my own ideology," Sasuke proceeded. "Don't get me wrong, I value my feelings for you like I value my own life. But I needed to know that I wasn't chained by them; that I could live my life my way and be with someone else if I chose to. And thankfully, I now know that I can. I am free from that pressure." In spite of his words, he smirked darkly. "Still, even this freedom is nothing but an ideology, too. I'm definitely not suited to be anyone's lover, nor to be in a relationship. I seriously don't want to. The only relationship I genuinely wanted was denied to me, so..."

Naruto swallowed hard, feeling his chest tight. He understood what Sasuke was telling him, and he respected it - he had to. Sasuke had every right to live his own life the way he wanted, had every right to experience things, and see what he wanted for himself. A part of Naruto ached at knowing that Sasuke still didn't want to be with people, still wanting his own loneliness, not even now of all times, but another part of him (a selfish, cruel one, he knew) relished in knowing that his best friend would always be faithful to him and belong to him exclusively.

"Did you… like being with that person?" Naruto asked, out of morbid curiosity, simply because he knew he needed to at least know that something good had come out of it for Sasuke.

Sasuke turned his head to him, his eyes unblinking. "I did," he said, firmly. "It didn't compare to being with you, if that's what you want to know, but I liked it for what it was, and more importantly, I liked what it represented to me, as a person."

"I see," Naruto said, hugging himself tighter for some reason even though he felt relieved. "Good. I'm glad."

"I don't need sex, Naruto," Sasuke said, a bit cooly this time. "It's good, it serves a purpose, but that's all it is to me."

This made Naruto feel even more restless, his heart beating fast. Sasuke was there, with him, on his wedding day, and they hadn't spent time together like this in over half a year. Now, Naruto was getting married, and maybe this was why Sasuke had felt the need to come to him and talk to him about what he had been up to and how he was handling himself after everything that had happened between them. Maybe this was their final peace making, maybe this was their chance to be honest with each other one last time and truly find some peace of mind since things had been crazy between them since the moment they parted ways.

He really, truly did understand what Sasuke was telling me, which made it all the more difficult to hear.

But there were things that would never change between them, and feelings that wouldn't burn out no matter what. There was no way their paths would ever come together now.

This was afflicting to Naruto, and surely, to Sasuke as well. There were things hidden within Naruto that were bubbling, suffocating him and slowly throwing him into a pit of a constant despair he knew he'd never get out of.

Being with Sasuke was hard. It made him happy but also took his control away from him.

He knew that he was a terrible person when it came to this. He was selfish and greedy and yes, territorial. The things that crossed his mind, the things he wanted from Sasuke, the way he wanted Sasuke to live made him ashamed of himself. Guilt and self-disgust plagued him.

But he couldn't let go of this, and he didn't want to. Only when his feelings for Sasuke were involved did he feel alive. It was with Sasuke, for Sasuke, that he knew he could be himself, and this horrified him as much as it made him feel free.

"You say you don't need sex," Naruto said through clenched teeth, looking straight into Sasuke's eyes now. "But do you need sex with me?"

Sasuke didn't reply, the question obviously taking him by surprise.

"Because I like sex, Sasuke," Naruto said, unable to hold back his thoughts anymore and not giving Sasuke time to reply. "It's a biological need, so I do it because it's easy, and that's what couples are supposed to do, right?"

His feelings were overflowing. He uncrossed his arms and started gesticulating, but his hands were shaking slightly as he became nervous, impatient. He didn't know what was suddenly wrong with him, but somehow he needed Sasuke to know, too, how he felt, and why he did the things he did. "I mean, sex is good, right? But it's like, I don't know how to explain it but no matter how many times I do it with Hinata, I always feel like I want more. Not more with her, just… more, you understand?"

Sasuke was eyeing him without saying a word, his lips pursed together in a thin line, but this didn't stop Naruto from turning towards him on his chair and moving his hands more for emphasis. "It's like, it's good, but it's not spectacular. It's like something's always missing." He kept talking, words leaving his mouth but he couldn't really put his thoughts in order. "And I want that missing piece, Sasuke, and that's you. She's not you, so something's always wrong. Because I'm always thinking about you, when I have sex with her, when I do things to myself, when I…"

"Naruto…" Sasuke muttered.

"I want you to fuck me," Naruto sputtered, again, without even thinking about the vomit of words coming out of his mouth, but he didn't even have the mind to be shocked at himself. It wasn't like he hadn't already humiliated himself enough.

Sasuke took a sharp intake of breath through his nose and frowned deeply. Naruto could feel the tension in Sasuke's body and his energy losing balance.

"You're asking me to fuck you on your wedding day?" His voice was cool but slow, yet his eyes were sharp. "Are you out of your mind?"

"You didn't answer my question," Naruto cut demandingly, putting a hand heavily on Sasuke's thigh. "Do you need sex with me?"

Naruto didn't need an answer to that. He had felt it since the day they had first fucked, that this bond would be theirs and that some things would be exclusive to them, and this was no different. Naruto had thought that it would be bearable for them if they both were to move on and be with other people, but that hadn't been the case. But somehow, he wanted Sasuke to say it.

His breath came in fast pants as he felt Sasuke's energy spiraling, conflicted between slight anger and obvious longing and lust, and Naruto relished in feeling it. He loved how his and Sasuke's feelings could flow from one to the other and mingle in the most sublime way. He wanted Sasuke to feel his need, to feel, through their bond, how much he wanted him. He wanted to get Sasuke worked up.

I am a horrible person…

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he wet his lips. Naruto could feel the man's control on the verge of snapping, and yet, Sasuke's expression was stoic.

"Did you happen to have brought lube to the kitchen with you?" Sasuke asked unexpectedly.

Naruto bit on his lower lip, hard, feeling heat spreading through his neck and all the way down his body. "Yes," he admitted, in a whisper.

"Condoms?"

"No condoms."

Sasuke's eyebrows rose. "Why?" He asked, his voice low, oddly seductive but authoritative, making Naruto's muscles tense in slow building arousal. "You don't have any?"

"I have plenty," Naruto said, staring deep into those beautiful eyes. "I just didn't want them."

Sasuke's lips parted. Naruto noticed his hand clenching and unclenching over the table, the hot aura of arousal coming from him in waves, pulsing and eager, reaching Naruto like a captivating melody. Naruto wanted to jump him but he wouldn't. He wouldn't make the first move, because a part of himself felt like Sasuke had the right to make a choice - which wouldn't happen if Naruto himself attacked first since Sasuke would, without a doubt, give in.

Naruto held his breath as Sasuke, too, turned on his chair so he was facing him, one of his legs in between Naruto's, just as Naruto had one in between Sasuke's. Sasuke's hand reached out and held Naruto's chin, slowly pulling him close and making his head spin.

"I do need sex with you, Naruto," Sasuke whispered gently, once their faces were so close the tips of their noses touched. Naruto shivered openly in yearning as he felt Sasuke's breath on his lips, his hand clenching on the fabric of Sasuke's pants. "Sex between us isn't the same as sex with other people; It has meaning, it's intense, and it's fucking amazing. It's us."

Sasuke stopped himself for a second to take a breath. Naruto felt like he was being cruelly teased, but he didn't dare to move. "I understand how sex with someone else will always be lacking something. But you know what? We could fuck as many times as you want. My offer will always stand. If you take it, we'll fuck each other exclusively for as long as we both shall live."

Naruto couldn't help but gasp, something very painful piercing his heart. Sasuke offered his lips a small, chaste kiss that alone was enough to both soothe and unleash atrocious thoughts in him. "I could fuck you right now," Sasuke said, his voice alluring but condescending, firm and frustratingly steady. "But I'm not going to let you become this sort of terrible person on this day. This person is not who you are. You're not thinking straight, this isn't who you are. Besides, you need to understand that we belong to each other, but we don't own each other. I'm not going to be your fuck friend while you build your own life with your wife."

The words stung and hurt Naruto in ways undescribable. He felt wounded, rejected, but still loved and protected. He knew Sasuke was right. But how could he stop feeling these things, how could he just avoid everything when he missed everything about them? When he felt so lost, empty, vulnerable and alone all the fucking time?

Sasuke didn't allow him to utter any more pitiful words as his mouth captured Naruto's in a gentle but deep kiss. Feeling those familiar lips on his made Naruto moan desperately and adjust his body so he could put his arms around Sasuke's shoulders and hold him tight. He could almost laugh with joy as Sasuke's arm held him back. His chest felt tight with longing, his nerves tense with arousal that he could feel being reciprocated by Sasuke, and yet, his friend remained physically calm, steadily controlling the kiss so it was intense, meaningful, and honest, but leveled. Even when their tongues touched and their mouths quickly devoured each other, Sasuke kept perfect control of his body, not letting things escalate, not giving anything away.

Naruto understood that Sasuke was giving them both only a bit of what they needed, his feelings flowing through to Naruto strongly, reassuringly, but his purpose being to ground them both and establish boundaries, as it should be. Naruto couldn't help but feel pained and disappointed, but he found that he loved Sasuke too much to violate his wishes and to force Sasuke to taint what he expected Naruto to be.

He'd rather be disappointed a million times than have Sasuke disappointed at him.

To stay faithful to who he had become was all he could do for Sasuke after everything. To respect Sasuke's wishes was only a small gift.

Sasuke wasn't his to have. He was going to be a parent and a married man, he couldn't simply use Sasuke's body regardless of their feelings for each other. He had no right to make demands, no right to tarnish himself and Sasuke for this.

Trust Sasuke to keep him in check, even now.

But… Naruto still felt…

What am I doing?

They broke the kiss after what felt like hours, both panting and with lips moist from each other's saliva. They shared a silent, meaningful look between them. Then, Sasuke motioned Naruto so he would lean his head on his shoulder and Naruto did, burying his face on the curve of Sasuke's neck and allowing the back of his head to be caressed. He took a deep whiff of Sasuke's familiar scent - how he loved it above any other. Hinata's sweet perfumed body could never compare to this - this feeling of comfort and 'home', so filled with emotions and memories.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto muttered, placing a small kiss on the man's neck and hugging him under the armpits. "I never want to hurt you, but it seems like I always become this stupid ass when it comes to you."

"Yeah," Sasuke said quietly, his tone very serious. He hesitated for a moment. "You understand that we need to stay away from each other, don't you? This is not how things are supposed to be. We can't be alone together. This not what you should be thinking about."

Naruto held Sasuke even tighter. "I understand."

Sasuke was quiet for another few seconds. His fingers ran through Naruto's blond hair caringly. "Have you thought about whether you want a boy or a girl?"

Naruto almost snorted against Sasuke's skin, but instead he heaved a heavy, tired sigh. "No. But I guess girls are too troublesome. A boy would be nice, probably."

"How do you think he'd look like?"

"Hopefully like me." Naruto managed a small, sad smile. Oddly enough, he hadn't wanted to talk about his unborn child with people, but he found that he had no problems doing it with Sasuke. "I mean, Hinata's really beautiful, but I hope the kid has my eyes and my hair color. It's more unusual, I think."

"A tiny bouncy person with your blue eyes and your blond hair…" Sasuke said softly. "I'm sure he or she will have your loud mouth and your conceited grin. And maybe they'll be a crybaby like you, too."

At this, Naruto actually laughed, burying his face more in the curve of Sasuke's neck, relishing the simple familiarity that was being in his precious person's arms. "Bastard," he muttered, his voice coming out muffled by the other's skin. "They'll be beautiful no matter what."

"Of course they will," Sasuke agreed, placing a lingering kiss on his head. "You're going to love that kid and become a great parent. You're going to be really happy, Naruto. Having a family is the best thing in the world."

Somehow, Sasuke's words were heartfelt and Naruto was truly grateful, yet, he felt as sad as Sasuke had sounded. He knew Sasuke knew what having a family felt like, but he had lost them. He was still alone, and still not really wanting to build himself a home like Naruto. But Naruto supposed Sasuke was always better than him - he wasn't able to be hypocritical like him for the sake of a dream.

"I'm still your family, Sasuke," Naruto said, lifting his head up to look at his friend. "And I will always be available for you, no matter what."

"Right," Sasuke said, without smiling. "As friends and as Shinobi, our paths will always meet." His hand cupped Naruto's face. "But from now on, we won't be seeing each other unless it's strictly necessary. So, I sincerely hope you can do better at living without us from now on."

"Yeah," Naruto whispered, his throat feeling constricted. This was nothing new, and Sasuke's constant absence had allowed him to prepare himself for those endless, torturous months without him. "I will try my best."

Maybe it was a lie. Maybe everything outside of this would always be nothing but a lie. But it was the lie that Naruto had chosen, and for Sasuke he would try his best.

He would work hard at not dreaming about him, at not thinking about him, and at not longing for him. He'd work hard at not wondering about how things could've been, and he'd work hard at not aching for the lonely path Sasuke had chosen. This, he would do. For Sasuke, he would aim high even if his soul felt like it was burning in the pits of hell because Sasuke wasn't around.

He understood what Sasuke's eyes told him. 'Look forward to the future, Naruto, and focus only on that. That's your life, embrace it, cherish it. Show me that this is all worth it.'

Swallowing the dryness in his throat down, he leaned forward and cautiously placed his lips over Sasuke's receptive ones in a soft, caring way. Maybe this would be the last kiss they would share, maybe for a long time. Naruto refused to think that they'd never be able to be like this again. They needed each other. The universe itself had shoved them together many times before, this couldn't possibly end here. Naruto wouldn't allow it.

'Wait for me, Sasuke,' his kiss said. 'No matter how much time passes… this isn't the end for us. I'll come for you, even if it's the last thing I do.'

000

Naruto's wedding day was a busy and happy one. The sun was shining as the village of Konoha celebrated the event of one of their greatest heroes joining not only one of the most beautiful women of Konoha, but one whose name and lineage was fit to such a personality. Together, Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata made a striking pair, and the people rejoiced.

The ceremony and party itself was considerably modest, consisting mostly of the couple's friends, relatives and/or close people to them.

Even the Hyuuga clan seemed to be happy enough that Hinata had chosen a good suitor who would take responsibility for getting her pregnant.

The scandal hadn't been as big as one might think since Naruto and Hinata chose to drop the bomb to Hinata's father on the same day that he formally went to ask for her hand in marriage.

Sakura had known of Hinata's condition for a while before news reached Naruto. Hinata had taken a pregnancy test quite early and she had only been a few weeks long when she found out.

But the girl had been terrified. She knew she was young and that Naruto had many goals he wanted to achieve before getting married and having kids. She had been scared of Naruto's reaction, and no matter what Sakura said to her to assure her that Naruto would be happy and supportive, she had felt very hesitant. Hinata hadn't been oblivious to Naruto's weird mood ever since he returned from the journey with Sasuke, so when he had told her - in a rather happy mood - that he was going to meet the Uchiha for a few days, Hinata had panicked, and in a way, so had Sakura.

Sakura hadn't seen Sasuke in a long, long time, and she knew that, as long as those two found the place and time to be alone together, there would always be a risk that something would fall apart and that suddenly the world would turn upside down. And at this critical moment, that definitely could not happen.

So she had urged Hinata to tell Naruto the truth before he left for his vacations with Sasuke, and thankfully, things had gone back on track as they were supposed to.

On that night, Sasuke had been in the village, but he had left as quickly as he had arrived, from what Sakura had heard. Even if things were weird between them, she hadn't expected him to leave without seeing her, even if he had apparently just dropped by to pick Naruto up and nothing else, as it had obviously happened.

These were things that made Sakura resent Naruto. She had no reason to, of course. Those two were very clear about how they felt for each other and most people got the hint, even though they didn't understand the depth of it or where it came from.

Sakura didn't even fully understand how Naruto was able to climb the barriers that she could not when it came to Sasuke. But she understood very well the line that separated her from Naruto and Sasuke, and she understood where she stood when weighed up against Naruto in Sasuke's eyes. And this frustrated her to no end, because, even now, she couldn't get through to him. Not even with Naruto about to become a father and a married man did Sasuke have the heart to even entertain pursuing the same for himself. Well, not right now anyway. She had promised to wait, and she would. He might not want it now, but someday, for sure...

Sakura knew that Naruto wasn't to blame for this. Naruto had always stood up for her feelings for Sasuke and motivated her to stay true to herself. Still, even if she knew that Sasuke did things by personal choice, a deeper part of herself felt bitter that Naruto would always be in the way, somehow. Naruto was Sasuke's blinding light - his only one. As long as Sasuke remained blinded, he would see nothing else. Sasuke needed to focus on something different, to have a different goal, to see a new path, something else to live for.

But… for as much as it pained Sakura to admit, he was tougher to crack than she ever thought he was.

Naruto's and Hinata's wedding was filled with joy. Hinata looked beautiful, and her belly was hardly noticeable since she was a curvy woman. Sakura was happy for them, they were such a lovely and inspiring couple, she thought. Naruto loved Hinata and cherished her, respected her as any lover should, silly and clumsy as he might be and not at all the perfect boyfriend material, but genuine all the same. Deep inside, Sakura felt a small pang of jealousy; to think that Naruto had been in love with her, and that, right now, it could be her getting married instead of Hinata had she chosen it.

But… she had made her choice, and that was to fight for the man she had loved most of her life so far. The same man that wasn't even present for Naruto's wedding.

People gossiped, of course, and wondered where Sasuke was that he couldn't come to his best friend's wedding. Sakura doubted he'd been invited, but she knew that, even if he had, he wouldn't show up - his pride wouldn't allow him to.

Sakura couldn't tell if this was relieving for Naruto or if it upset him. He seemed perturbed, but also strangely relaxed. She didn't bring the topic up so as to not ruin the day, but once in awhile, his eyes would scan the crowd around him as if they were avidly looking for someone or something. Then he would smile to himself - an odd, gentle smile that was hard to define. Other times, those beautiful blue eyes would lose focus for a few seconds, and his smile would vanish, only to return when his attention was demanded by the people around him.

Sakura could only guess how he was feeling, just like she could only guess the sort of things that had happened between those two for Naruto to look so momentarily crestfallen and simultaneously filled with longing.

The kind of longing Sakura knew all too well, and yet, even if Naruto was the only person in the world she could talk to that would understand her, she had drawn that line long ago, when she had convinced him that Hinata was the woman of his life. There were things they had once shared (and still did) that could no longer meet. Thankfully, Naruto understood it well, even if Sakura knew that it hurt him.

Where was Sasuke? What was he feeling, right now? Was he watching, from a distance, these events unfolding, bringing him further apart from Naruto? She wished she could know, like Naruto surely did, if he was around or not.

Sakura wished that she could be there to soothe Sasuke's heart, no matter where he was. She wished that things didn't have to be like this, that team 7 could be united and be naturally happy as they had been when they were kids, but the balance had been broken with Sasuke's first departure, and without him willing to return, it was obvious that their worlds would fall apart. Now, her two former teammates had created something for themselves that had bonded their hearts further, but that somehow managed to complicate their relationship even more. Having a simple relationship would always be nothing but a foolish idealism for them.

How Sakura longed to be part of those sorts of feelings. To be longed for like that, to have such a deep yearning directed at her, to have the same strong link to Sasuke that Naruto did. But she was aware that the things that Naruto and Sasuke shared were in no way comparable to the things she had shared with the Uchiha. What those two had was something not even she understood, but that she knew to be unbreakable.

I want that link with you, Sasuke-kun… I want to see you…

Where are you?

She wished that she could be strong enough, like Naruto, to reach out towards Sasuke and demand his attention, his respect. But more and more, she understood that she couldn't simply sit around and wait for the heavens to grant her wish. Like Naruto, she would have to be the one to move and reach out, forcing Sasuke to see her, to acknowledge her.

Only Naruto had always been seen by Sasuke. In fact, she thought, not without a bitter resentment that made her feel ashamed; Naruto had had everything from Sasuke since the very beginning. Sasuke's eyes had always been directed towards him and him alone. But the more Sasuke slipped away from Naruto, the further away he'd be from Sakura, as well, and that couldn't happen. He'd leave, and soon he would leave for good if she allowed him to.

Seeing Naruto and Hinata getting married only fueled her conviction further. She would get to him by her own means. She had meaning to him, and she wanted to be of value.

Yes, she would need to move, and soon, before he disappeared completely.

TBC...


Please, don't see Sakura as a bitch, I'm just following her canon personality and what 'The Last' gave us. I think you all knew that Hinata telling Naruto about her pregnancy at that time was a convenient plot necessity.

I know this chapter was kind of boring, and maybe some of you were expecting hot passionate and desperate sex between our boys (trust me, I was, too) but it didn't happen. I feel like it wouldn't be right at such an occasion, and it didn't fit Sasuke's mind-set at this point.

But I needed this interaction between them because the plot will evolve from now on, but it'll take a while before it focuses back on them as a pair again. Also, updates will be coming slower since I'll be back to work in a couple of days. Sorry about that.

Anyway, next chapter will have something I'm sure you guys didn't see coming (or maybe some of you did). I'm actually pretty excited about it!

As usual, thank you all for reading and for supporting me and this story! You have been leaving the most wonderful comments and giving me a lot of constructive criticism and I truly and honestly appreciate it! It truly gives me an insight of my writing and what I need to work on as an author :)

I love you all!

See ya next chapter!

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